Recently, my sexuality has been awakened by a most unlikely circumstance. It took me a long time to come to grips with it, but now I'm completely grateful, and I couldn't be happier that it happened the way it did.
I haven't had a sex life since my daughter's father walked out on us about 16 years ago. My daughter was almost 3 at the time and I really didn't have anyone to turn to, so I just did what I had to do. Unfortunately, that left little, or no time for me. I don't even think I thought about sex much during that time. Looking back, I don't know how I did it, but I guess there were just too many other things to deal with. I wish I could go back and do it differently, but I can't. Now that I'm pushing 40, I've finally re-discovered my sexuality, with the help of the most important person in my life, and I wouldn't change that for the world.
My daughter is now 19, and quite a beautiful girl. She was always a bit shy and inward so most people didn't notice it. When she was in high school, she spent most of her time with a book rather than worrying about being popular, which for a single mom was a dream come true. She had just a few close friends, and I knew them all, and their families very well, and she and I were very close. I'm not stupid enough to think that I knew everything she did, but I knew she was a good k**, and I knew that if she ever had doubts or questions about anything, she would come to me without hesitation.
Over the years, I'd heard some talk about boys between her and her friends, but I never met anyone she called a boyfriend. We'd talked about sex, so I knew she was well informed. I just figured that she was too shy. I couldn't believe, even when I saw it with my own two eyes, what she was keeping from me.
One night, a few weeks after her nineteenth birthday, she told me that she was going to her friend Michelle's house to watch some movies. She was gone about an hour when I noticed that she left her cell phone behind, and I figured she wouldn't want to be without it. I was on my way out to have some dinner with a friend from work, and figured I'd drop it off to her.
I walked up to the door and was about to ring the bell when something inside caught my attention through the bay window. The experience was surreal as I slowly leaned forward to peer into the big picture window. There, on the living room couch was my daughter, Michelle, and of all people, Carolyn, Michelle's mother, all completely naked. My daughter was lying on her back with one leg on the floor and one on the back of the couch. Michelle was kneeling on the floor next to her, licking her breasts and playing with herself, while Carolyn was knelt between my daughter's open legs, working her fingers into my daughter.
I suddenly found myself back at home, sitting on my own couch. I felt cold and it was difficult to breathe. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten here. I almost thought that I had somehow fallen asl**p and dreamt the whole thing, that is, until I realized I was still clutching my daughter's cell phone. I couldn't believe what I had seen. It couldn't be real. It didn't seem real. I had so many feelings and thoughts running through me all at once, and I felt as if I was going to explode. Mostly anger. Anger towards Carolyn. How could she do that with my daughter? With her own daughter? What kind of sexual deviant was she to allow this...to do this kind of things with these young girls. Carolyn was 2 years older than me! What kind of mother has sex with their own c***dren? And my daughter! How could she do this to me? How could she lie to me? What was she thinking? How could she allow herself to be a victim to this? She was smarter than that.
As mad as I was at them and the situation, I was angriest at myself. Mostly because I felt that I should have known about this. And for some reason that I could not define, I was also hurt. I wouldn't admit that at the time, not even to myself, but I knew it was there. I was hurt for the same reasons I was angry. Why Carolyn? Why not me? As sick as I thought that feeling was at the time, It was still there, and it made me angry.
Days went by, and I'd barely spoken to my daughter any more than I had too. She'd ask me what was wrong, but I'd just walk away. I couldn't look at her without being overwhelmed with anger and hurt. I'm sure she knew it was something she'd done, but probably couldn't imagine what that could be. I'm sure she wouldn't even think that I knew about her little secret. Eventually she just stopped asking me what was wrong, but I could tell she was hurt by how I was acting towards her. I'm not proud of it, but I was glad.
It was about a week after the "incident", and I was home alone. My daughter had gone back over to Michelle's. I wanted, with every fiber of my being to forbid it, but I couldn't. I would have had no reason. I still hadn't decided how I was going to deal with all this.
My stomach burned as I sat there, just imagining what was happening. As the images played in my head, I got madder and madder. I focused on the thought of my daughter wrapped in her i****tuous lesbian threesome, and after some time I began to feel something besides anger. My stomach felt queasy, and the clearer the images came to me, the damper it got between my legs. I was actually getting excited. I hadn't had that feeling in so long that I'd practically forgotten what it felt like. Initially I was angry at myself for allowing this situation to make me feel this way, but I was tired of being angry. I was tired of crying and feeling hurt. I began to justify my feelings, and before I knew it, I just let them take over.
The next thing I knew I was naked and lying flat on my back, slowly giving myself my first orgasm in 16 years. Wave after wave of pleasure rolled over my body as I fingered my pussy, all the while imagining my daughter, Michelle and Carolyn.
I was enjoying my new found liberation, regardless of what circumstances brought me there, and soon after, I pulled a knitted blanket over myself and fell asl**p right there.
My daughter knelt down beside the couch where I was. It was dark. I could barely make out her silhouette, even though she was just inches away.
"Mom? You awake?" Are you naked? Where are your clothes?"
My blanket was just barely covering me, making it obvious that I was naked. I re-adjusted it and looked my daughter in the eyes.
"I took them off." I still had some anger in my voice.
"Oh. Well, I'm home."
"I can see that."
She didn't say anything, and we were both silent for a moment. I don't know why, but I just blurted it out.
"How long have you been having sex with Michelle and her mother?"
"Don't lie to me. I saw you."
She didn't say anything, and I could hear her start to cry.
"Is that what you've been so angry about?"
"Yes. How long have you been lying to me?"
Her head fell on my shoulder, and I could feel her tears on my skin. I moved my arm and lifted up her head.
"Tell me how long!"
"I...I don't know. It only happened like three times. I'm sorry!"
"Did you do it tonight?"
She didn't answer.
"How did it happen, and I want the truth."
"The night after my birthday – when I slept over – she told me it was my present, and she started to kiss me. I didn't want to do it I swear, but she did and I couldn't stop her. It started to feel good and...I don't know. I'm so sorry mom..."
"...And then what?"
"...And then we just did it I guess."
"I don't know...all of a sudden she was just there. She kept telling me it was okay. I'm sorry mom really. It was never right. I didn't want to do it anymore, but I never felt like that before. I'll never do it again I promise. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I left because I don't want to do that anymore. I'm sorry..."
She was crying hard. I pulled her head back to my shoulder without saying a word. I began to tell her it was okay.
"Am I in trouble?"
"Why didn't you tell me about this when it happened?"
"I couldn't. I didn't know how."
"Did you like it?"
"The sex. Did you like it?"
She didn't answer.
"That's why you couldn't tell me. You knew it was wrong, but you liked it anyway."
She cried even harder.
I didn't say a word. I rolled myself toward her and lifted her face, kissing her quickly on the lips.
"It's okay, I'm not mad anymore. I was at first. I was angry that you lied, or that you didn't tell me about it, but I understand why you couldn't, and now I know that you wanted to and I'm happy about that."
"I really did want to tell you, I swear...I just..."
"I know. It's okay."
I sat up slightly, holding the blanket over my breasts.
"It's late, why don't we both get some sl**p."
My daughter hugged me, and slowly headed off to her room. I felt much better now that I had my daughter back. I stood up, holding the blanket around me and went to my room. I hadn't bothered to put anything on, and slipped under my covers.
I was lying awake for a few minutes, thinking about my relationship with my daughter and our new found openness. Soon after, I began to think about my renewed sexuality. My hand mindlessly wandered between my legs, and my thoughts turned once again to what I had seen through the window that night. I pictured my daughter, completely naked with Carolyn's head between her legs. I imagined what it must have felt like. How wonderful a soft warm tongue would feel on my pussy...It's been so long! Before long, I began to imagine that it was me between my daughter's legs, and her between mine. I couldn't believe what I was thinking. Just days ago the thought would have never even crossed my mind, and if it had, it would have repulsed me to no end, but now, I couldn't fight it. I craved it. The thought fueled my excitement, and I was quickly headed to a powerful orgasm. Suddenly my daughter was standing in my doorway, knocking on my door frame.
"Mom, you asl**p yet?"
Fortunately, I was under the covers, and she wouldn't have known what I was up to. Still, I couldn't help feeling like I was a young girl discovering my sexuality, and my mother walking in on me.
"Almost, but not yet."
She walked over to the bed, and I quickly pulled my hands out from under the covers.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine. It's just warm in here. What's the matter sweetheart?"
She quickly pulled the covers back and slipped in next to me. Something that wasn't uncommon when she was little, but she hadn't slept in my bed for years.
"Can I sl**p with you tonight?"
I wanted to object, but it was too late. She quickly moved next to me, and realized I was still naked. She jumped back and I could tell she was embarrassed, and now, so was I.
I immediately felt a wave of guilt wash over me.
"I tried to tell you."
"I'm sorry...I didn't realize."
It was such an awkward moment, that I think all we could do was laugh.
"When did you start being naked all the time?"
"I'm not naked all the time! I guess I just didn't feel like wearing anything to bed. I'm sorry if it bothers you..."
"No...not really, It's just a little weird since I never saw you do that before, but I understand. I do that too sometimes."
"Yes, well, there are a lot of weird things going on lately."
She got a little embarrassed and quickly looked away.
"I'm sorry...I guess I'll just go back to my room."
I felt bad and grabbed her arm. "No, it's okay. It would be nice if you stayed. I'll go put something on."
"No, I don't want you to do that because of me. I mean, it's no big deal, really."
"Uh-huh. I'll just stay over here."
I was still very horny, and in great need to finish what I had started. My guilt had faded as quick as it came on, and now I was aroused at the thought of my daughter in bed with me this way. My mind began spinning as I contemplated what could happen. Certainly, she wouldn't be offended at the thought. She wasn't with Michelle and Carolyn. Maybe she even wanted this as much as I did. The events of the last few days flew through my mind in a split second as I wondered how I got into this situation, and before I knew what I was saying, I just said it.
"You know, you could get undressed as well, and then it won't be so awkward."
I knew it sounded strange, maybe even eager. I held my breath, waiting for her reaction. I decided that if she agreed with no protest, I would let her continue from then on, to be sure that it's what she really wanted. I could still turn this around if it wasn't. My skin tingled and burned at the same time, and I started to get a little light headed. My pussy was hot, and I could feel the juices flowing inside me. I smiled and tried to act as casual as possible.
"If it'll make you feel more comfortable, sure...why not?"
I tried to sound relaxed, but my cracking voice gave me away. She smiled hesitantly, then shrugged her shoulders. I could somehow tell that she was just as excited by my invitation, but was also trying to look un-phased. She lifted her night shirt over her head, and dropped it on the floor. Her breasts were firm and young, and her nipples stood out harder than I ever thought possible. I've been a little envious of her perky little b-cups since she developed them, but now I wanted them in a whole different way. She leaned back and lifted her hips slightly as she reached below the covers and slipped off her panties, quickly dropping them on top of her shirt. She took a deep breath and looked over at me.
She smiled awkwardly and nodded, and we both settled back under the covers, lying on our backs, staring absent mindedly at the ceiling. My finger had resumed lazily between my legs, gently circling my swollen sex. We lay quietly for a few moments, trying hard to ignore the tension between us.
She rolled to face me, sliding closer into me. Her skin barely tickling mine and sending chills throughout my body.
"You're not mad at me are you?"
"No, I'm not mad."
"Then what are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you upset? What are you thinking?"
"Upset? Surprisingly...no. I don't know what to think. I guess as long as your happy and safe, that's all I really care about. I have to trust that whatever you do, you'll use good judgment. I think I did a pretty good job raising you, so now I just have to trust that whatever decisions you make are the best ones for you, and that you know what's best for you. You're a smart girl, so I'm not worried."
"But you were mad at first..."
"I'll admit, at first I was mad, and I was definitely shocked, but that was really more my problem than yours."
"You're not even upset that I'm a lesbian?"
"Well, yeah...I guess."
"I think that maybe you should give that some thought. Just because you had lesbian sex doesn't mean you're a lesbian. You've got a long life ahead of you, and a lot of things to figure out along the way. Don't be so quick to try and put a label on everything you do. There's a lot of things that define who you are, but not everything you do defines who you are. You may be a lesbian, and if that's the case, then I'm behind you. I love you no matter what."
"I love you too."
She leaned in and threw her arms around me. I was surprised at her sudden show of affection, but accepted it happily. Her warm body and smooth skin felt incredible pressed against mine. I never experienced anything like it before. It reminded me of what it was like to be intimate with someone, but this was unlike any man I was ever with. It was loving and soft, and I wanted more!
Neither one of us was letting go, and so we lay quietly, enjoying our embrace. Her head was lying on my chest and our bodies were tightly pressed together. Our breasts were squeezed together, but our legs were apart from one another's, and I craved for the connection to be complete. I reached down and placed it firmly on her ass, pulling her towards me. She responded immediately and moved herself, rolling on top of me.
Our bodies were lined up, and I was instantly covered by the warmth of her body. I could feel the heat of our sex mixing as our hot pussies meshed together, and my daughter let out a long whispery moan.
Her body continued to slowly move on top of mine, as if she was still adjusting herself to me, but I knew it was more. She slowly moved her leg up and down while gently pushing her hips into me. Her wriggling young body on top of mine was driving me crazy, and I let out a soft moan to let her know. My hand was still firmly gripping her ass, pulling her hips into me even harder, until our movements were now intentional. Without another word, we were humping. I couldn't believe it was happening, and how great it felt. Finally after a few moments of awkwardly grinding, my daughter went for broke.
"Oh mom, this feels so good! I love you so much." She whispered.
"Yes baby...this feels so good. I want you so bad. I love you too."
Suddenly, she stopped, raising her hips up and putting all her weight on her arms. She spread my legs open as far as they could go, positioning herself directly between them. She reached down, spread my pussy open with her fingers, and gently lowered herself back on to me. The feeling was unlike anything I'd ever felt, as if she was almost inside me. I could actually feel every inch of her young pussy with my own. Our hard clits, like two hard peas in silk pressed together, driving us both wild. We continued to fuck our slick pussies together until we were both on the verge of orgasm. I never thought it possible for two women to actually fuck, but as my daughter continued to mash her young pussy into mine, there was no denying that she was fucking better than I had ever been fucked by any man.
"Oh baby yes! Fuck me! Fuck my pussy! It feels so good!"
"Oh mom! Fuck yeah! It feels so good! I'm gonna cum!"
It shocked me to hear her use those words, but it also put me over the edge.
"Yes baby, cum for mommy! Fuck my pussy! Cum with me! I'm cumming!"
"Yes mom! I'm cumming!"
I felt her pussy twitch as her body wriggled with orgasm. I gripped her ass with both hands as my own orgasm hit me like a hurricane, ravishing it's way through my whole body. I felt both our pussies cumming as our muscles began to spasm and our juices flowed and mixed. It was the most erotic, most loving feeling I felt in my life. Wave after wave of orgasm hit us both, until we finally both collapsed.
My daughter pressed her lips to mine, and we kissed passionately and tenderly as out last traces of orgasm shook through us.
It took some time for us both to come back to earth. I gently stroked my daughter's hair, looking into her beautiful eyes as we enjoyed our post orgasmic bliss. Our slick pussies were still twitching from orgasm. Our mixed juices were running down my ass and pooling underneath me, causing chills to run up my spine.
"Oh mom, that was incredible. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened..."
"Shh...don't be sorry. It was incredible for me too. I never felt anything like it. You made me so happy, & I love you very much."
"I love you too."
I chuckled. "Was I as good as Michelle and Carolyn?"
"Oh mom, there was no comparison. I never knew anything could be like that."
"I have to admit that ever since I saw the three of you together, I've kind of been fantasizing about you. You helped me rediscover my sexual desires, and now you've shown me how incredible this can be. I could have never imagined anything being this good, even in my wildest fantasies."
"Really? You thought about me too?"
"What do you mean? You thought about me?"
She nodded shyly. "After the first time with Michelle and her mom, she told me all about their first time. That night, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and what it would be like. It was the first time I ever masturbated. After that, I only did it with Michelle so I could think about you."