As a fan of facials...
February 24, 2012, 9:51 pm
I was watching "More Messy Facials" a good facial compilation and noticed a few things I dislike about porn facials. I wasn't going to thread crap...
But.
I've watched porn for decades. As a fan of facials the top things I cannot stand are:
Scenes where the dude has a premium target (pretty face, someone genuinely wanting a facial, or the porn whore that has that "get it over with" look on her face as she fakes interest in getting genetic crud shot at her) - and dude misses or has a non-existent load.
-and-
Scenes where the dude has a decent load but a) the chick is at an impossible angle that would require a couple theorems or a guidance system to properly hit the target, b) the chick is so meth'ed out she's bouncing all over the place like a tazmanian devil with a vibrating butt plug shoved up it's ass, c) dude squirts on the least pornographically arousing of places, d) chick bends her head back so far it looks like she is about to dispense a Pez - and dude cannot shoot far enough to coat her.
If you lived through 90's porn this was usually made even more frustrating by both happening in the same scene. A dude with a lame load and a dude with a massive load who gets to decorate a back or a stomach. The guy shooting on the back was usually Peter North and the guy doing the facial managed a drip or two on the chicks face. And usually missed.
Thankfully the Internet has mostly eliminated the frustration many of us perverts have felt through the years. If the clip sucks, meh - who cares just get the next one. In the days before the WWW perverts had to trust box covers and rent tapes. Yuck... You would be waiting for what you were interested in (or FF'ing) and be disappointed most of the time.
Again, thank goodness for xHamster and the like. Many goo gushered faces to come.
But.
I've watched porn for decades. As a fan of facials the top things I cannot stand are:
Scenes where the dude has a premium target (pretty face, someone genuinely wanting a facial, or the porn whore that has that "get it over with" look on her face as she fakes interest in getting genetic crud shot at her) - and dude misses or has a non-existent load.
-and-
Scenes where the dude has a decent load but a) the chick is at an impossible angle that would require a couple theorems or a guidance system to properly hit the target, b) the chick is so meth'ed out she's bouncing all over the place like a tazmanian devil with a vibrating butt plug shoved up it's ass, c) dude squirts on the least pornographically arousing of places, d) chick bends her head back so far it looks like she is about to dispense a Pez - and dude cannot shoot far enough to coat her.
If you lived through 90's porn this was usually made even more frustrating by both happening in the same scene. A dude with a lame load and a dude with a massive load who gets to decorate a back or a stomach. The guy shooting on the back was usually Peter North and the guy doing the facial managed a drip or two on the chicks face. And usually missed.
Thankfully the Internet has mostly eliminated the frustration many of us perverts have felt through the years. If the clip sucks, meh - who cares just get the next one. In the days before the WWW perverts had to trust box covers and rent tapes. Yuck... You would be waiting for what you were interested in (or FF'ing) and be disappointed most of the time.
Again, thank goodness for xHamster and the like. Many goo gushered faces to come.
