That was this summer. I had very long relationship and last year i got ridden of it. So I sex occasionally wit various girls till then. One night this September I was very very tired of everything. Job went finally better and some private investing also, but I had being working for 14 hours a day at time. It was About 1 am in the morning and was just went of from long shower and about to lay down on my bad.The voice from the other side of cell phone was very pleasant, some kind of baby talking voice. Voice said" Annnn' what what do want from me now?...LOL.. i said "who is this?&... Continue»
[Written in 2007]
not a deadline nor an entry
a state of being,
an act unjustified by any other emotion?
(getting down on one's knees,
begging for the collar)
how little is not enough,
how big is too much?
shaking and shivering
yet aiming to keep calm composure
(Do you wish to be pleased today? -tomorrow, everyday?-
How do you desire to be pleased? Every part of my body is for you)
Is it natural
Or developed from c***dhood memories?
Does one embrace it
Or keep it tucked away?
(Bind me, gag me, choke me as you desire,
whip me, slap me, put hot wax on me
crap, isn't this about you, not me!)
emotions building up,
begging to be released.
(I'll do anything for you
I'll let you have your way with me!)
Wrapped up inside the
Tiniest Pandora's box
"Open me" on the ribbon
"Too much to handle" inside the card.
(treat me like the bitch cock whore slut that I am...
f***e me to gag on you repeatedly till I pass out..
No! This is all about your desires, not mine, right?)
(Please, please notice me, take care of me,
I'm too easily manipulated through physical means)
Afraid to open the mouth
To speak darkest desires
Is it fear of rejection?
Or fear of acceptance?
(Drooling, slurping, gurgling, moaning, screaming,
squirming, shaking, shuddering, twitching)
Sub -or slave- frenzy
"So called experts" call it.
As if they have experienced it ever.
"Take a deep breath, do some research,
go to a few play parties and meet some members in the community."
(Screw the world! I deviated from normalcy only to be scolded
once again? The only constant I know is this desire to serve!)
Resorting to the shadows of vanilla,
Waiting patiently for one who understands
But not too careful to smother.
(Where is the balance? Desiring to serve constantly and yet still have a life? I can't abandon all of my problems forever...)
A deep breath
A long sigh
Is there any reconciliation for this
strong compelling f***e that
threatens to invade every ounce of my
body, and control from the inside out?
(Keep it all inside, don't let anyone ever know,
they'll use it to your disadvantage)
Close the eyes
Wish it all away
(Are these the inner feelings of a 'twue' submissive?)