Don't Drink Alcohol
The art of making love is supposedly one of the most beautiful and enjoyable acts someone can perform. It gives incredible pleasure and is a wonderful feeling of closeness between two people. We've all seen the movies that set the standard for how we should behave. You all know the scene: the man gently eases his partner down while looking at her fondly. He then confidently and calmly guides her through the processes. He is a confident lover, someone whom she can really lose herself to. It's almost picture perfect, with the small beads of sweat, mood lighting and music. Yes, you would almost be fooled into thinking that's how sex is every time.
The reality, of course, is far different. Rather, it is often a sweaty race to the finish in a pitch-black room while the only music being produced is coming from random, awkward bodily noises perforated with the odd grunt here and there. Unfortunately if you don't have experience to rely on you can easily be fooled into thinking that you have to live up to this movie, dream-like image. Coupled with a perception that there is more pressure on men to perform like amateur p*rn stars, it can make the entire concept of sex hardly seem worth it. Even if you do manage to get all of the positions and mood correctly configured, chances are that the amount of stress you've put yourself under will kill your ability to rise to the occasion and perform. The good news is that there are a few simple tricks you can use to help yourself relax during sex. Enjoy.
The more you think about something the more you enable yourself to worry, fret and stress about it. Don't over-plan anything; allow things to happen naturally. Following a great dinner with specifically purchased mood music and rose petals on the bed may seem like a good idea at the time, in reality you're putting far too much pressure onto a situation. Don't stress yourself over what may or may not happen. The more thought you give to the situation, the more likely you are to struggle to relax. Instead just enjoy the night and allow it to unfold itself.
Be Open About Your Experience
The idea that women only want a strong confident man who will lead them in the bedroom isn't always true. In fact, many of them like the idea of guiding a man through his first experiences in the bedroom. So many inexperienced young men make the mistake of feeling that they have to exaggerate their experiences in order to impress a woman into sl**ping with her. In reality they would probably find it much easier to get with someone if they came clean about their experiences and were to let the girl have her wicked way with him.
We have an amazing ability to associate one situation with another, and music is a useful tool in creating positive associations that we want to reproduce. You may already have certain songs which put you into a positive state of mind. This is the kind of music you listen to in order to prep yourself for a good night on the town, fun driving music, or even a set of songs you play when you work out in the gym. Whatever the occasion, playing this kind of music before entering a stressful situation can help you achieve a generally more positive sense of being and make it easier to undertake stressful situations in a more confident manner.
Concentrate On The Girl
Sometimes the pressure just gets too much. For whatever reason you feel yourself finding it harder and harder to enjoy the task at hand and you find your “mini me” just isn't willing to join in the fun. Whatever you do don't panic. This is a very common situation and one that has a simple remedy. Thankfully with the modern interest in giving pleasure to a woman you can forget jumping straight to it and instead concentrate on giving her pleasure first. This does two things. Firstly, it helps you concentrate on something other than your performance and gives your little soldier time to think about joining in. Secondly, it helps your girl think of you as someone who's kind, caring and great in bed which helps remove any yobbish image you may currently possess.
Don't Drink Alcohol
Alcohol is one of those quick fix solutions that people turn to for an extra boost of Dutch courage. The problem is, the nature of the drink often means that it can be a contributing cause to issues, which can give you a failure to perform adequately in bed. Although a minor amount of alcohol may be a blessing it soon becomes necessary to drink more and more to achieve the same confident effect and eventually it becomes more of a hindrance than a blessing. Get used to getting down without the drink and you'll appreciate it more in the long run.
Don't Worry About Mistakes
People that are experienced in the bedroom are well aware how much of a messy affair intercourse can actually be. Wet spots, smells and painful positions are all key elements of what we call lovemaking. If something goes wrong, don't stress or worry about what your partner thinks. Instead smile and laugh over it with her. It's amazing how easily a smile puts someone else at ease. If you find that the person you're with is giving any kind of bad reactions it's probably out of fear themselves. Once they see you're ok with it, they should lighten up incredibly and both of you will find it easier to stay relaxed during sex.
The bedroom is the one place that men feel they should truly rein domain over yet unfortunately, as with any portion of your castle, without the experience to control it completely it can soon become more of a liability than an asset. With a little bit of practice you should easily find yourself a bedroom master in no time, allowing you to stay relaxed during sex. The important thing to remember is to be careful not to allow any early minor mishaps to develop into long-term fears. Mistakes happen all the time and unfortunately not every woman you meet will be the most understanding.
For the most part, however, you should find that any problem encountered in the bedroom can be overcome with a smile. Most partners are not only sympathetic to your inexperience but also attracted by it as they get to play the role of teacher. Keeping your cool is the most important thing and hopefully with the tips listed above you should easily be able to handle any issue. With a little luck it'll be alright on the night.
Europe's leading expert on attraction, Adam Lyons is internationally regarded as one of the top 3 specialists on seduction. He teaches seminars across the globe and regularly writes articles for leading men's magazines and national newspapers. Lyons specialises in teaching attraction, social dynamics, and how one can improve their dating life.
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