You're looking through the websites,and you and your spouse are going over countless profiles, from countless swingers,from not only your state,but every state,and all over the world;single males,couples,and what youre gonna notice,is how FEW and FAR and in between,are the single females,who are looking to have sex with another COUPLE.This is all but non-existent,and we will be going over this in the "Holy Grail" chapter of this series.MOST of what you are going to see,are couples, singles males and a few women.You will notice that all of these couples are as varied and as different as they ca... Continue»
You're looking through the websites,and you and your spouse are going over countless profiles, from countless swingers,from not only your state,but every state,and all over the world;single males,couples,and what youre gonna notice,is how FEW and FAR and in between,are the single females,who are looking to have sex with another COUPLE.This is all but non-existent,and we will be going over this in the "Holy Grail" chapter of this series.MOST of what you are going to see,are couples, singles males and a few women.You will notice that all of these couples are as varied and as different as they can be.Some do this...but they wont do that.Some are into this,and some are not into that.Keep in mind that,you TOO,are just another couple,now,no different,no less,no more,than the rest of them,its all up to what decisions are made,as to what you all will,or will not accept about each other,as the "other" couple.There is ONE COMMON THREAD that all couples and swingers demand,or SHOULD demand,and thats they,we,ALL demand,and expect others to be "Clean,and Disease Free." Thats the most important thing here,have GREAT HYGEINE,and do NOT have a sexually transmittable disease.Its actually rare that STD's are passed around in the "lifestyle" because if nothing else,swingers are ULTRA careful about this one.And the statistics prove my point.For the most part,swingers follow this code strictly,and though there are incidents where STD's do and can occur,for the most part,and by the numbers of people involved with all this swapping around,the chances of you contracting an STD are much,much lower than you would think,or by the odds,should be higher,but they're not.So...You've noticed the "Ad," or the "profile' the couples put out.You've notice that some are very vague,with very little detail----AVOID these swingers.If they will not, or cannot put much detail about themselves,something to kind of go on,something is wrong,here.Its not YOUR responsibility to bring them out of their sexual shell of inhibitions and fears.Avoid the vague,undetailed ads.They might be picture collectors,trollers for some reason or anther,like picture collectors,info gathers for many reasons,like a local church was said to be "spying" to see if they could find its members on the sights after rumors of couples being involved.DO NOT EVER UNDERESTIMATE what lengths people will go to to hurt you....Then on the opposite side of this,you have the couples who post a small novellette about how wonderful they are,how rich they are,how educated they are,how in shape they are,how "classy" they are,and they usually have a long list of "commandments" about what they will, and wont do,and what you will, and wont do,also,what youre not going to be,and who will,or the types who will NOT be swinging with them....Now,this is all well and good.This is no problem,actually.Its their lifestyle approach,its their way of "being careful," its their way of fishing for what they want...No problem.But this will be up to you and your spouse,as to whether or not you'll accept them,or they accept you.Good luck on these folks,these are mainly youre Ken and Barbie types mentioned in the the 3rd installment of this series....But MOST of the ads and profiles give adequate descriptions about what couples want, and dont want.They are almost always a couple,where the male is straight and the female is bisexual.This is the vast majority of them. Of course you do have a couple where both are bisexual,the male and the female or the males is bi and the female is straight,but these are more an exception,and the rule being that most couples are looking for the SAME thing they are, "straight male and bi female."You will also see couples who want "NO single males" or "SHE will contact you(single male) if she is interested," and this is what this MEANS,but as mentioned earlier,this doesnt stop too many males from trying.Ive had to step in a too many times and tell a single male,that he needs to learn to read a damn profile,we MEAN what we say.You will se couples who want to swing within their race.This is fine too.If you dont like this,just move on.This is not the place to launch a "civil rights march," just move past it.They have their reasons,you have yours,and swinging is not the place to decide and determine socio/political injustices or opinions as far as this goes.A LOT of couples have a male who like to see his wife have sex with black males,you will see a lot of this.And thats OK.My wife and I do not swing outside our race,simply because this lifestyle is enough for us, on one plate,swinging,and we dont want to add other issues to it,like race and the issues that will, and do eventually come up.My wife says she simply is not into it,never had the fantasy about it,and she will not participate in interacial sex.Now thats just us.Some couples dont want fat folks,because they take great pain to be in shape,some folks dont care if youre fat,because they take great pains to NOT be in shape.If someone doesnt want a fat person,just move on,dont ry to swing with them,especially if they SAY they dont want a "fattie."And no one has to do anything in this they dont want to do.Move on.It will not change the other coule,us,or your point of veiw.You will see all kinds of couples,like the BD/SM crowd,the "same room,but no swap," couple.Couples where both are straight,and they just want a little extra in their marriage. Each couple,including yourselves,might and will most likely develope "deal breakers." You can meet another couples and they might have a lot in common with you,but for example,a "deal breaker" for us,is the "same room,no swapping," or where the other couple allows no kissing.They feel that kissing is something they do thats intimate,and thats fine,thats O.K.....This is what they want.But my wife and I feel that kissing is a part of it,and we are secure enough with ourselves to include it in our sex play.But if my wife is not allowed to kiss the man in the other couple whiles he's pounding her pussy,and Im not allowed to do the same with his wife,the deals off,doesnt matter how hot she is,doesnt matter how big his dick is, and my wife wants it,the deal is off.My wife once asked me before our very first 3 way with another man,if there was anything she shouldnt do,to which I said to her...."Give the man some pussy..." To which she grinned,she did,and the lucky son of a bitch got one of the best blowjobs he will ever get and one of the hottest pieces of pussy he will ever get.If there is a couple you meet,and they "hold back," or "meter down" the passion,there is some jealousy issues and some insecurities in this couple and we dont want to fan the flames.Its not our responsibility,or yours to "help" another couple with their sexual aspects of their own marriage.There are counselors that get the big dollars for this,let them handle it,my wife and I are not "qualified," and inspite of what youre reading here,are not experts on this subject,Im just getting this out there from the voice of experience and reason and rationality...But thats just us.Which brings us to this point----By now,in this game,BOTH of you had better damn sure be long past your "jealousies" if you have them.In fact,Jealousy SHOULD'VE been in the very first "Truth About Swinging." It should go without saying,that there is NO PLACE,no room,and no tolerance for jealousy in the swinger lifestyle.But you would be amazed as to how some folks reach the point we are at and theres still jealousy.You would think its the women in the swinger lifestyle that more jealous than the men,and there is jealousy....But NOT like it is for the men.More men get jealous in these situations than the women do.Once women are comfortable,safe,a dn have no fear of being humiliated or hurt in any way,women will go on and have a great time with their sexuality and the sexual situations they are in.But men...Men are very fragile,and Ive often wondered just how in the hell the woman is the "weaker" sex.Remember,in the last installments I mentioned,that men,for the most part,still regard women as sexual objects,all for HIM,even though there's been a "sexual revolution" and the notion that "males in swinging are more understanding to female sexuality," its just not altogether true.MOST men,but not all,get jealous when he sees his wife moaning and writhing in an orgasm he is not giving her.They get insecure thinking, that she wants to have this other man,or woman,to bring her to orgasm all the time,and he just doesnt "cut it" anymore,after that.Im sure that this has occured,but its exceedingly rare.I'll bet that after the swinger party,there's been many men driving home with their wife,looking over at her, and wondering, if she's reliving the sexual passions over and over,the other mans slightly bigger cock,the woman who brought her to an orgasm and she made sounds and faces he'd never seen her do before,when most likely,she's not thinking about it all,she's moved on to the bills,the groceries,the PTA meeting...LOL!!!Jealousy needs to be out of the picture,long before you meet anyone for a sexual session.Learn to enjoy your spouses new found pleasures,find out what,why and how it turns them on.I love watching my wife with another man,or with two other guys.I can SEE THE WHOLE thing.I can watch her as a "whole person" enjoying her sexuality.When Im screwing her I can barely think,see, or care if the world was ending,but when I see her with another man,I can see her as a "whole being." Plus I DO love the way she performs it for me,she looks over at me,and her eyes are heavy with pleasure,and she smiles a wicked smile.I love watching her with another woman.They both seem to be a triumph of their beauty and passion.Two women kiss each other in a way,that has GOT to be something a man will never know,and I hope thats how it feels for them.I gave up Jealousy long long ago,and Im a better man for it.Now---it all seems well and good,there seems to be alot to choose from,but here's the more "dark side" to all of this....First,MOST COUPLES are not going to meet you.Theyre not.They never had really much damned intentioned to do so...Especially if youre already "camming," or "chatting," More often than not they have decided that they have seen some "deal breakers" of their own,and what started out as a promising little romp,has fizzled.Most couples "SWING ON THE COMPUTER" these days.They figure,they'll get around to it,after all,they got YOU and your spouse on the line,so,when they get done with others,maybe they can get up with you.Most couples have an established coule or two they swing with reguallry,and thats fine,as well,but,youre most likely "waiting your turn." Or again,whatever "deal breaker" surfaced over the time you met and during the time you get to know each other after countless hours chatting....which is actually ~~~TYPING~~~.And Ive already warned you of "camming," these are the couples who are too lazy to even fuck,and the only thing about camming,is maybe for the "long distance" swingers and thats OK,thats fine too,but for the most part,"camming" equates to the husband of the other couple,jacking off to your wife,in YOUR couple,because his wife is "at work," but "he has permission" and so on and so forth.Youre not going to see his wife,9 times out of 10,in this situation.A lot of times the couples you are GOING to meet,change their mind.In the old days,we were set to swing with this couple.It never happened.We later found out that the husband in the other couple,just couldnt keep his mouth shut about how "hot" my wife is...to HIS wife.We actually met her after they had long since divorced.She told us how he wouldnt shut up about it,and she just got tired of hearing about it,and she backed off from the deal.Later,my wife and this woman spent some, uh..."girl time" with each other...I didnt get to participate,but thats how it goes,sometimes...Keep in mind,that the ONE THING that runs through this...Is that it TOO LATE when the time comes,and you cant spring any last minute changes on others.Plus,Ive warned of the couple who want to have the "vicarious threesome" THROUGH another couple...." So good luck with this knowledge,in this installment....Now,soon their will be the 5th installment of this series,and the 'Holy Grail' of swinging,the threesome with another female.We will go over what types of females MIGHT be looking for another couple for sex,and why MOST women do NOT have to have another couple for sex.And why we call it the "holy grail..."