You're looking through the websites,and you and your spouse are going over countless profiles, from countless swingers,from not only your state,but every state,and all over the world;single males,couples,and what youre gonna notice,is how FEW and FAR and in between,are the single females,who are looking to have sex with another COUPLE.This is all but non-existent,and we will be going over this in the "Holy Grail" chapter of this series.MOST of what you are going to see,are couples, singles males and a few women.You will notice that all of these couples are as varied and as different as they ca... Continue»
So...you want to try swinging? You fantasize about what it will be like.You want to see your wife with another man?Would you both like to swing with another couple? Or do you want the "Holy Grail" of swinging, the hot 3 way with your wife and her hot friend from the office??? First question,One)Have you gotten your wife to AGREE to do this,and is she willing to do it,and does she want to "swing???" 98% of the time, its the MAN who brings up swinging, NOT the woman in the relationship.Now----If you've gotten your wife onboard with swinging,and you havebnt had to beg or "talk her into it" ( that ought ot raise red flag right there) and she to AGREES to have extramarital sex with others, the battle is halfway WON!!!Right??? Wellll.....Not quite. But here's the FACT about that,MOST married,or women in a relationship,most women DO NOT want to "swing," the fact is, that VERY FEW women really want to share their sexual partners,VERY FEW do,and MOST of them are only doing it because she wants to please you,not someone else,or another couple.Very FEW women,especially AMERICAN women are secure enough with themsleves and their own sexuality, to be able to do this,inspite of it seemingly the other way around.IF she's doing it out fear of losing you,or not doing what you want,then she's simply going along with it,and that leads to disaster in the long run,ALWAYS!....Trust me,MOST women do NOT want to share her partner.So, if youre sure that your wife is NOT only doing this to "go along" just to "please you," then you gotta ask yourself the next question....Two)Do you realize that swinging is NOT about YOUR sexual fantasies ONLY?That your wife has fantaises too,and that its also about HER sexual pleasure? Are you ready and willing to allow her the same things you want for yourself??? Do you realize that other people,women,men,other couples,are NOT sex objects to fulfill YOUR desires alone, and that you will NEED to be able to fufill OTHERS who get involved with you of THEIR desires? Are you MATURE to see other people as an equal part in the equation---Or are you USING them? Are you USING your wife, or spouse to sate YOUR desires? If BOTH of you are on board for swinging,do BOTH of you realize that as a couple,the OTHER couple/woman or man you invite into your sex lives, are the SAME as you are? Both of them just went though what Ive already described,they too,must have had to face the same two questions,and do you realize that adding people to your list of lifetime sex partners is NOT a choice to be taken as lightly as it is,MOST of the time? If you dont veiw others as merely "sex object" for YOUR sexual desires and fantasies,and understand that other people have feelings like you do,and that they have JOBS and friends and f****y and that you MUST be discreet,which means: Keep your MOUTH SHUT!, about what youre doing, because this thing can, and DOES cause one helluva a lot problems if there's a "falling out," or someone gets upset,and runs and tells everyone everything....and Oh,by the way,they arent going to tell everyone that they were involved,they are going to leave themselves OUT of it!So,the third question,is more crucial than you realize,and here it goes....Three) Are you being INVITED by another couple,or other couples, to swing with them??? Are you and/or your wife, being apporached for these things by spouse or another couple? Has another couple SUGGESTED or hinted around that they might be interested in swinging with you and your wife/husband? If not,then most likely you are either not attractive,or "TOO attractive"...Thats right,you can be "too good looking" in swinging.If you are being asked,then someone has a LOT of COURAGE to ask you,so DONT be asshole, and freak out,just say "No thanks" and DO NOT run and tell your friends and co-workers and f****y that the "nice couple" down the street wants to "swing" with you.This goes back to question 2,because if you gossip about it,youre not mature enough to be a swinger.Period.People have jobs,friends and families,just as you do, and with the exception of a VERY FEW swingers,they DO NOT want to hear about it, 6 months later at the grocery store!Are you mature enough to handle the fact that another couple is interested in inviting you into their sex lives? Can you keep your mouth shut,even if there's a falling out?If you are,then lets go to question 4....Four) Are you SURE of what you want sexually? Is your wife SURE she is bi-sexual? Other women,whether they are single, and you get the ultra-rare holy grail of swinging,the Female-Male-Female,or in a couple,are nOT "Guinea Pigs" for your wife to "experiment on," and with her sexuality.She shoulda figured this out when she was younger.Most women in swinging HATE the "bi curious" that doesnt know what she wants.Most of them do NOT want to help you through what you should know about yourself,ESPECIALLY if youre out there as a swinger,you better make your damn mind up about this one!And,as the man in the relationship, are you SURE of what you want and who you are, sexually?Are you 100% straight? Are you Bi? Just like the woman,if youre going to be swinger,you better know what the hell you want.Most men see their wives with another man,or woman,and they simply cannot deal with it.The fanstasy and the reality are often times two different things.Sometimes the fantasy is far better than its reality.On to the 5th question Five) How attractive or not are you?There are two types of swingers,there's "Ken and Barbie," and there's "Gladys and Harold." Ken and Barbie are "in shape,classy and well educated," while "Gladys and Harold" are...well,fat slobs.But here the problem....Gladys and Harold seem to think that Ken and Barbie wants to,and will swing with them.Gladys and Harold simply cannot figure out why they wont.Gladys and Harold is searching out of their LEAGUE and believe me SWINGING has it social "levels,"its CLIQUES,its "in crowds," its little groups,worse than you EVER saw in High School or College.And for the most part,I agree,because this is a very intimate "sport" youre playing, and you want roughly the same kind of folks you are.Rarely do swingers swing outside their "income group." After 20 years in the lifestyle,everyone looks the same naked,to my wife and I,and for the most part,when youre naked,we cant tell if youre an accountant, or a garbage collector. Now,lets talk about Ken and Barbie....Barbie is pretty,and as soon as the other wife see that her husband "likes' Barbie,9 times out of 10, thats the "deal breaker.Barbie is too pretty, and the other woman gets really insecure,really fast...Same for Ken,a woman in another couple wants to fuck Ken,but her husband is jealous of his looks, or his dick is bigger, and 9 times out of 10,the deal is off----Here's the problem---at this point,its too late to lose your mind over it.You really need to think this shit through.Its NOT the "other couples" fault.So,lets review here real quick...You want to swing,your wife is on board,you didnt have to "talk her into it," and she wants to actively participate, as an equal, with you,both of you understand that its not about your fantasies that,others will,of course be involved,and both of you are going to be responsible and accountable to your actions with others and your mature enough to handle whats getting ready to happen.You both KNOW who you are,especially sexually,and you BOTH know what you can, and cant have.You understand that you need to be discreet,so your ready to get out there ans swing like hell,right??? Welllll....wait a sec,there's a few more points to go over here.20 years ago,swinging was alittle different than it is now.It wasnt as "accepted" not that it really is accepted now,its not "mainstream" but its far more out in the open than it once was.But there still a long way to go,and thats why you still have to be "discreet." Most swingers want to "swing ONLINE." They want to "cam." They want "check you out" first...It all sounds pretty good,but here's what this tranlates into....Your wife will be providing JACK OFF material for the male of the other couple,if you cam.Thats right,all the sudden this "couple" is without a wife,and he wants to "cam" ----with yours.Doesnt matter if youre there are not,he's getting to use your wife as his masterbatory object.Now....9 times out of 10,and you DO meet a couple and all 4 of you,are nekk** and about to get down,BOTH of them are trying to have the "holy grail" of swinging,the threesome with another woman,vicariously THROUGH the other couple.Thats right,no one really wants the man in the couple,its the WOMAN that most swingers are after,because the threesome with another woman is VERY hard to get,all but impossible,and in 20 years,my wife and I have only had ONE really good one and the other,the woman wasnt sure what the hell she wanted.So MOST Swinging couples USE other couples for a "vicarious" threeway,with the other males present,but,one gets ignored in the equation.Chances are,the man in the couple has given HER a threeway with another man,and she is not only just "going along" now she's DESPERATE to live up to her end of the deal,and its HARD to do,especially the older we all get.It was easier when we were younger and life was more and less a "frat party," and people were more up to experimenting,but swinging as MARRIED couples is a little bit different.So,a COUPLE is only using your wife as a kind of "threesome" with you there,or if your lucky,the other guy in the other couple kinda shrinks away form the deal,and we all KNOW how hard it is to get another woman for a threeway,but heres the one that you CAN do...in the next 30 minutes...My wife can get a man for a threeway, in about 30 minutes.Men are SIMPLE.Im straight,but the chance to fuck my hot little wife is still too much to let slide.She can get a guy in no time...But a lady for a threeway? Its tough to do.Most of the women she knows,she works with and getting co workers in on this is one thing we both will tell you---DO NOT DO IT.Leave your co-workers out,go to another town,but DO NOT get co-workers involved in your sex life.People WILL talk.So,most couples are in it for a vicarious threeway,the threeway with a single woamn is all but non-existant,especially after you get into your 30's,but men will always fuck just about anyone,anytime,anyplace.On to the next point---The AMERICAN woman.Most American women do not know much more about sex than the average male.Most of them dont know,or are not comfortable with their sexuality and desires.Most of them arent even sure what to make for supper tonihgt,much less who they want to fuck.The prevailing myth is,that women cannot differentiate love for sex...This is BULLSHIT.Women KNOW exactly, what the difference between love and sex is, and they use this both ways to their advantage."Love" is the sex she gives to her husband,as a "reward" for getting her way,and maybe she mIGHT give him a blow job on his birthday,IF he pleases her,or just enough sex to keep her place as the "lady of the house." But---"Sex" is what this same woman will do, with the guy who comes to paint the house while hubby is at work.She will fuck him in ways that she would never do for her husband,because she doesnt want him to think she's a slut,or KNOW she's a slut,but she doesnt care what the guy who paints the house thinks or feels,so she'll fuck him a way that will make Jenna Jameson take notes.American women mainly,only have sex to get something from,or DO something to,someone else.American women use sex as their primary battery of weaponry,they do not use it for pleasure,or for simply what it is,they have to get SOMETHING in "return." An American woman will go to a bar,and cannot admit to herslef that she is simply "horny," and would like to simply "get off," she goes to a bar to TEASE, and if she lands a guy who has money and means of security,she'll fuck him,faster than she will the best looking guy in the place.Beer makes a man blind,Money makes a woman blind as a bat.You can look like George Burns,but if youre loaded, you are LAID in America.The ugliest woman in the world can get a man for the evening,but Brad Pitt,or Tom Cruise will have a "dry spell" for a few days even weeks.Its been said that a man is "only as faithful as his options." Whereas a woman is being "worked" if she simply had a heartbeat,is breathing and has a vagina,no matter how ugly she is.Most American women---are like this---MOST but not all.Very few of them enjoy being a woman,very few of them know themselves.Most of them are in it for reasons other than why youre in it.See how narrow the playing field is??? Now,try to go out and get to swinging and GOOD LUCK!!!