Howdy, Pervs! :)
I appreciate friend invites but I'm picky about "friending". If you have: a penis avatar, a blank profile, no contributions, favorite videos not shared, or just nothing in common with me, then I will pass on it!
Porn Stuff I Like:
Beautiful, enthusiastic, and well shot smut that is preferably
free of toys and cocks. I love to see 69's (with closeups either looking down on or behind the ladies), body licking, and rimjobs!
NO tattoos or implants are preferred, with a nicely trimmed bush (not bald, but not Chewbacca crotch either). Examples include Nikki Dial, Draghixa, Nadia Spinks, etc.
Outdoor and Public Stuff:
There's something really appealing about a pretty girl completely nude in the great outdoors. The beach, the snow, whatever. No shirt, no shoes, no problem!
Sexy girl feet:
I love seeing beautiful feet on a girl I find attractive. This means I need to see the rest of her too!
...So, I don't usually watch dedicated foot porn. I'm not interested in anonymous, ugly, tattooed, dirty, or (implied) smelly feet, extreme close-ups, splayed toes, foot fists, cumming on feet, footjobs, nail art, pantyhose, or sucking on high heels (any exceptions in posts or faves are super rare). Avatars of that stuff also turn me off.
Hot, respectful, and passionate. Swallows can be hot too (not bukkake). I like to see real chemistry between performers who have fun in their scenes. No misogynistic crap for me, thanks.
They don't make 'em like they used to. The production values and film quality may make the Zapruder film look like HD by comparison, but the pioneers of sex films were one of a kind and as sexy as in any era. We want bush! (OK, I can handle Chewbacca crotch in these films...)
Porn Women I Like:
Sharon Mitchell, Alicia Monet, Draghixa, Nikki Dial, Roxanne Blaze, Jennifer Stewart, Melanie Moore, Rebecca Lord, Alexandra Silk, Nadia Spinks/Pixie, Kylie Wylde, Sophie Moone, Sophie Paris, Stella Stevens, Mia Stone, Eve Angel, Jamie Hunger, Jana Cova, Eufrat, Ashley Fires, Avy Scott, Carli Banks, Celeste Star, Blue Angel, Melisa Mendiny, Malena Morgan, Anjelica/Krystal Boyd, Mia Malkova, Riley Reid, Kennedy Leigh, Tilly McReese (to name a few)...
Fake (but still hot):
Jessica Wylde, PJ Sparxx*, Madison Stone, Kelly O'Dell*, Deidre Holland*, JR Carrington*, Lauryl Canyon, Tara Monroe, Vera*, Sandy*, Kayla Paige, Ariel X*, Jenni Lee, Nicole Aniston*...
* Received implants later in career... :(
NON-Porn Women I Like**:
Ann-Margaret, Jane Seymour, Lynda Carter, Brooke Shields, Monica Bellucci, Elizabeth Hurley, Jennifer Connelly, Naomi Watts, Nicole Kidman*, Kelly Monaco, Faith Hill, Amber Heard, Kristen Bell, Alison Brie, Amy Adams, Lizzy Caplan, Kaley Cuoco*, Katy Perry, Kate Middleton, Alexandra Daddario...
* Implants... :(
** Generally in their prime, and before any major work was done...
Porn Cliches I Dislike:
- Constantly showing some ugly voyeur dude watching otherwise great lesbian action (and usually jerking off, overacting and making stupid faces).
- Directors or cameramen showing their ugly faces to the camera, talking too much, and pawing the girl being filmed with their disgusting, hairy sausage fingers.
- Zooming in on the dude's grimacing, sweaty face during the money shot. Blah!
- Beautiful all-natural models ruining their bodies with totally unneeded work. Usually involves implants, tattoos and/or botox.
- Awesome lesbian scenes that get wrecked when a dick suddenly shows up 3/4 of the way through.
- Older women being referred to as "teens" (and often involving a school uniform, pigtails, and a stuffed animal).
- Performers who can't be bothered to act interested, or hide their displeasure.
- Guys aiming their cumshot into the girl's eyeball or even hotter, up her nostril.
- Squirting that is obviously
- Fake overacted moaning, and also badly overlaid recorded moans.
- Porn music. It's cheesy, repetitive and distracting, and you'd never listen to it otherwise!
- Shoes (especially high heels) in bed. Who does that?
- Probably half
of all the "older" women in Young/Old lesbian porn being uglier than my avatar (sad, but true).
- Sex toys appearing in stupid places (e.g., a scene in a hospital storage room where dildos or vibrators just happen to be stashed under folded sheets).
- The annoying overuse of the acronym "MILF" (and its variants).
- Cameras clicking, whirring and flashing during
a sex scene (...take your stills AFTER the scene, you lazy hack directors!).
- Useless cameramen. We've all seen their work... they zoom in or out when they shouldn't, lose focus at the worst times, and allow body parts and shadows to creep in from off screen.
- Performers looking at the camera (particularly in scripted scenes).
Words you never thought you'd see together, I'll bet...
Ah, sweet naive Aunt May...