I am a man who likes to kiss slowly, forgive quickly, laugh easily, love tenderly and embrace all that life has to offer. I love the outdoors, nature, the sea and mountains. I have an inner peace and relish life.
Why should people get to know me? Imagine the angst if you can't answer that!
Good thing the knives are all blunt..........
Please put your email addy address OR mobi number in your message heading
LOOK INTO MY PHOTO'S FOR A CLUE TO MEETING LIKKLE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soooo, bullet points then:
- I'm gorgeous
- I'm quite intelligent (had to check that spelling, though)
- I'm funny
- I do stuff
- I like travelling
- I'm not stingy with time or emotions
- I can stop at 7 points
Good sex...Wild sex... bizarre sex...with me you can get it all !!! And then ... as soon as you are hooked... in love... I RUN LIKE HELL !!
Hey... what's your problem..? At least I'm honest..:)
If this is what you want.... pls P* off and go to the profiles that reads... "I'm honest, fun, and just need a good friend and fuck buddy"
If you want to laugh... be respected...Enjoy good times.... travel a bit... and simply have a good friend...then contact ME !!
1. I'm AM looking for sex.
2. I'm not here because I'm destitute.
3. I'm not here because I'm desperate.
4. I'm not here to find a wife.
5. I'm totally an independent.
6. I don't need you to help me deal with my baggage, that I have done years ago...and my baggage will never become yours.
7.I don't think I'm better than others ... just different.
8.I worked hard for my money, I don't need welfare cases ... but if I love you ... I will spoil youu rotten.
9.Just because I'm 44.. don't think I'm an "old man in my "mid-life crisis" ... I am a well groomed "sexy senior citizen."
10. Just because I can't spell ... don't think I'm dumb.
11. If you are only 18 ... don't think I'm to old for you.. Ill show you what real lust ... aa love is. Ha Ha
12. Just because I prefer 5* hotels ... don't think I can not camp in the bush under the stars.
13. Don't think because I'm wearing a pink shirt and pink undies ... I'm gay .. I'm just comfortable with myself being sensitive and I'm in touch with my feminine side.
14.Because of all this ... don't think I'm full of s*t ... I'm actually peaceful .. and laid back.
As to my character, my friends describe me having the perfect halo, as it's held tightly in place by a cute pair of horns!
BBW lover. the bigger the better,
WARNING INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:
READS AS FOLLOWS: relief tablets- effective relief from occasional sadness,excess boredom,heartache and trapped emotions.
DO NOT TAKE IF:your allergic to fun,adventure,commitment or being unfaithful..
CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR IF: you suffer from weak ribs as constant laughter is a side effect of this product..
DOSAGE:as much as you think you can handle!
ACTIVE INGREDIENTS: confidence,energy,ambition,mischievous and outgoing
WARNING! prolonged use of this product will result in future happiness and fulfilment....
WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER?
Funky, hunky, cheeky monkey, little bit punky, little bit chunky, arty farty, loves to party, little bit smarty, little bit tarty. Funny bunny, crap with money, real sweet honey, lazy, crazy, memory hazy, oopsa daisy - that's enough about me! xx
WHAT I LOOK FOR IN A LADY:
BBW, yes please girls.
GROOMING: natural or shaped
ORAL SKILLS: ready to blow you away.
ACCOMMODATION: your place or mine
COCKOLDING: I have no problem with that
FAV UNDIES: Teddy
I have a sarcastic sense of humour.
Carry On films make me laugh.
My ideal woman is Mrs Kipling.
Hobbies include photography and eating cake.
I swear like a Sailor.
I don't like shaved bollocks, they look like a turkey that's swallowed a couple of ping pong balls.
I have a child, I smoke and I'm not an easy lay.
I'm often asked what I'm looking for - at the minute it's a packet of ginger nut biscuits I hid, so no other fucker could eat them.
I've run out of peanut butter.
I'm very strange, but my parents love me.
I seem to upset people easily, but my Social Worker says it's not a problem.
I eat pickled onions straight from the jar.
I like Marmite.
Apart from my scintillating personality, wit and incredible sultry looks, my best features are my hairy toes and my nostrils.
I'm a complete and utter nightmare. I'm hard work and I'm definitely the one your mother told you to keep away from.
I love geeks.