Moods

This blog post is directed at you, I will not mention your name or user ID, but your thoughts and encouragement have reminded me that a dark gloomy mood must end or consume me. I chose not to have it consume me. This post is intended as a counterpoint to the two sad poems I wrote a week ago. I should remove them but I did receive several comments (public and private) that suggested that although sad the poems were beautiful. So I write this post to offset those, make sense? I hope so.

Some days the spark within us just seems to fade and a dark shadow hangs over us. I can’t explain my moods any better than anyone else; it is just part of the human mind. Perhaps moods are a way of cleansing our mind and starting fresh. I will expand on this at the end.

Recently I saw a shift in my mind, one that made me feel as if I did not have a friend in the world, that all love in my heart and mind was gone. So I wrote a couple poems, not great work, but they did illustrate my mood at the time I wrote them. And then I received a couple notes from friends and the mood seemed to change and my thoughts brightened.

On the day that I posted two very sad poems I simply could not shake the dour mood. I searched for the lyrics of a song I remembered, and that seemed to amplify my sadness instead of making me feel better. Here they are:

Lookin’ for Love by Waylon Jennings

I've spent a lifetime looking for you
Single bars and good time lovers, never true
Playing a fools game, hoping to win
Telling those sweet lies and losing again.

I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
Another heart, lookin' for love

When I was alone then, no love in sight
And I did everything I could to get me through the night
Don't know where it started or where it might end
I turn to a stranger, just like a friend

I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Hopin' to find a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
Another heart, lookin' for love

You came a'knocking at my heart's door..
You're everything I've been looking for..

No more looking for love in all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Now that I found a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
You, oh you, lookin' for love

In all the wrong places
Looking for love in too many faces
Searching your eyes, looking for traces
Of what.. I'm dreaming of...
Now that I found a friend and a lover
God bless the day I discover
You, oh you, lookin' for lov

But like the weather, moods shift and change and a new day brings a new way of looking at my life and how those around me affect my mood. It seems that sadness moves over us like a spring thunderstorm, it moves quickly over our minds like a dark cloud and the violent lightning and thunder hold us in their grip and blot out every other sense around us.

Yet sadness does not move away like a spring storm, it seems to linger and hold us in the darkness, more like those long grey days of winter that drag on. But then like the sun, happiness seems to find a small hole in the darkness and warms our spirit, and if we are observant we notice that brightness and follow it, leaving the darkness behind.

I have long thought that sad days make happy days possible. For you see if we never know sadness how will we be able to recognize happiness? As I said above, sadness can, if we control it, cleanse our minds. We see a new low or perhaps return to that previous low spot and realize that it does us no good. So happiness is a result of knowing the opposite and I prefer happiness.

As I drove to work on Sunday I heard a song that has been one of my favorites for many years, it made me think of you, not that I needed much prompting to think of you, and I share the lyrics here as I close. I’d sing it for you but then you’d know why I write stories and blogs as my singing is horrible (worse than my poetry, grin). The melody of this song is so beautiful that if you are not familiar with the song you should search for it on YouTube, it is there in several forms. (Yes I am the romantic type, not the best fit for a porn site)

Happiness has returned and this song, thinking of you, your kind thoughts, and our friendship amplify my happiness. Thank you for being my friend…………

True Love Ways by Buddy Holly and

Just you know why
Why you and I
Will by and by
Know true love ways

Sometimes we'll sigh
Sometimes we'll cry
And we'll know why
Just you and I
Know true love ways

Throughout the days
Our true love ways
Will bring us joys to share
With those who really care

Sometimes we'll sigh
Sometimes we'll cry
And we'll know why
Just you and I
Know true love ways

How do you mend a broken heart?
Perhaps never think of how the love did start
But it seems impossible when all around me lie
Memories of the one that walked by

I try to busy myself with projects here and there
To cover the emptiness that seems too much to bear
Even the scent of fresh cut pine
Reminds me of what once was mine

Love used to be all I thought I would need
To fill nights and days with her thoughts to read
But the coolness crept into the exchange
And now memories are all that remain

How do you mend a broken heart?
With time, and work, and toil to start
But most of all I must vow
To hold my heart much closer now

Dark and gray are the skies above
Cold and lonely the harsh wind blows
Ice clings to the barren branch by my window
The snow swirls and drifts in the icy wind

The once warm hearth lies cold and covered in ash
The warm glow from the night before lost
My heart feels as cold as the gray February dawn
How quickly life changes in matters of the heart

Warm and close friendship lost
Is worse than no friendship at all
Each attempt to find what was lost
Fails as before leaving only emptiness

But on the eastern horizon pale and faint
Raises the morning sun nearly obscured by the veil
Perhaps as daylight arrives faint and weak
My heart will warm once more with hope anew

Spring is near cold gray days will pass
With each new spring life begins again
I take one day at a time, one foot in front of the other
Passing through life in search for what I have lost

I recently ran across a profile that posed this challenge, I accepted, now it is my turn to offer it on mine. Here is the challenge as posted by another person.

So here's the deal...You get to ask me *Up to 5 Questions!!*, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, or just random, and I promise to answer it 100% truthfully (that's the "truth" part) ....now I dare you to re post this and see what people ask you......

I will answer only if you send me a private message with the questions.

Marking Favorites

I know, this seems like a dumb blog post but I ran into a situation this morning that just doesn't make sense. I thought others might find it interesting and bizarre as well. One of the things I enjoy about this site is the wide variety of pictures and videos posted by true amateurs. That means, real people and not porn stars.

Out of respect for those posting their content I always read their profile from start to finish before looking at any of their pictures. I find what is written by others to be interesting and in some cases very enlightening. Many put a lot of thought into their profiles and should be applauded for very well written content. Then there are those that simply have no clue what to write, and that is okay too, we all don’t have the gift of gab.

Now the situation this morning, the woman posting here on XH made a statement that she would not allow anyone to mark her pictures as favorites or do tributes or she would report them to XH for privacy violations! Now I paraphrased her profile statement because I believe in the copyright laws of the United States and using a direct quote from her profile without crediting her would be a violation of the US copyright laws. The same would hold true if I saved her pictures to my computer and later posted them to another forum, that is stealing and just plain wrong.

But how in the world is marking them as favorites a violation of her privacy? Here is the comment I left on one of her pictures, if I get flamed on her profile or other locations I thought at least the full story would be posted on my profile where I maintain my full copyright privileges.

My comment:

So let me understand. You post pictures to a public porn site, show your face and body with no hesitation but if I mark them to my favorites I am violating your privacy. Hmmm, that seems very strange. Now I understand your desire not to have your pictures stolen, that is theft if someone saves them off and posts to other forums and I would support your effort to prevent that. I can also understand that you do not want them used for other purposes, tributes for example. I don't get that either. But if I mark them as favorites on this site where you freely posted them, well I just don't get it! But I will respect your wishes and NOT mark them to my favorites. And along those lines I will NOT tell you what I think of your pictures least you become offended and report me to XH. Have fun on here and I hope you are not marking any pics or vids to your favorites as what is fair for you is fair for others.

End of comment----------

By the way, she did have a ton of video favorites, I guess she was not violating others rights even though most of those she marked were amateur privately produced vids. Go figure!!

Oh, and you will note that I did not mention the user ID, link to her profile, or any other personal information so if you as the user find this blog, I have not violated your privacy.

I would like to use this blog space to cover the frequently asked questions and thoughts I have as I poke around xHamster. I suppose some would put it in their profile, but mine is too long all ready (my profile, that was not in reference to my “package”). This blog is not intended to prevent conversation, quite the contrary. I suspect that most women run to the guys profile to find out what he is about before responding to a comment or PM, hopefully if this is your practice you will look at this and determine if I am for real.

FAQ’s and Random Thoughts

Q: Who writes your comments?

A: I do, every letter, syllable, word, phrase, sentence, and paragraph, I NEVER use comments written by others, regardless of how good they read. I have seen my comments used by others, the most interesting was a guy that stated on his profile that his language was Spanish (Mexico as his country) and his profile text was not English (I don’t read or speak Spanish). He copied one of my comments and posted it to a women’s picture, and the text did fit the picture, but clearly not written by him.

Q: How do you come up with what you write in a comment?

A: Everything is written on the fly, that is, I never take a lot of time before composing a comment, I read your profile, look at your pics, read the other comments to make sure I am not repeating a comment, and then begin writing. Every word is written based on your profile and picture (or video) and how I feel about it. I also try to let you know through my comment that I have read your profile without saying it directly.

Q: Do you have published stories outside of xHamster?

A: No, I post here exclusively. I have written far more than is published but most was written for a chat partner and I never share those very personal fantasies or stories.

Q: How did you pick me to write a comment on?

A: Well to begin, you are, or say you are a woman. I really can’t abide men posing as women so I try to pick a real woman, which means if the pictures look a little too perfect I suspect they came from other sources. But I have been fooled, and try to handle it in stride. The second reason I picked you is that you looked interesting. I don’t just mean erotically and sexually interesting, well perhaps that at times as well. But there was something of interest on your profile, whether it was a picture, video, story, or just the profile text. I have no particular bias on body size, type, nor do I have a color barrier, we are all human and the last I checked you had body parts that mated with my body parts and a fantasy about that has no barriers, right?

Q: Your profile says you are married, what the heck are you doing on here then?

A: Good question and if you pose that to me in PM I will give you the straight up honest answer, but it too personal to post in a blog, I hope you understand. I will tell you that as my profile states, I have NO desire to meet, talk on the phone, and have never done the cam thing, it just isn’t my style.

To be continued

I have been a member of this site long enough to have seen a wide variety of pictures and videos. Pictures remain my primary interest as the detail available in a picture far exceeds most amateur videos. And let me digress from my primary subject to mention amateur VS commercial pics and vids. If you do this for a living you are a professional or commercial producer, case closed!

I am so frustrated at times when I find an interesting video or picture gallery title marked as amateur only to find that the work is obviously produced by as a commercial venture. I refuse to watch commercial vids as they simply are not anything close to real life. The actors (using that term loosely) over act their emotions and physical sensations, the women make faces that at times appear as if they are eating lemons. Enough of this, the topic here is self pictures.

I have long ago developed this erotic desire for self pictures by women. I am not completely sure why, but self pics in a mirror in the bathroom is so erotic to me. Why? I have a few thoughts, let’s see if you agree or have other ideas.

The first reason is perhaps because it seems so naughty, yeah, immature term, but naughty seems to fit. A more adult term would be forbidden. When we hide in a bathroom or bedroom, naked and horny, and take a picture it is not something we talk about at the next holiday gathering. I doubt that any tell their real life in the flesh friends that they are taking naked pictures. Yet we are so excited to share them with the rest of the world and hope against all hope that comments will be posted about them.

Another reason these style pictures are so erotic is that I think it is so personal. Regardless if you take the picture and post if for a specific individual or post it for the masses, you are taking something that the world considers private and make it public. You choose what to show and how to show it, it is about your body and your personal erotic thoughts.

And the third reason I consider these so erotic is the amount of work and effort it takes to produce the picture, regardless how good or bad it is for quality and content. How in the world can we pose perfectly when holding a camera and avoid flash burn in the mirror, keep our face out of it, you name all the problems and it gets very personal because we want all our body parts to show and work so hard to do it.

I think professional pics are easy, I know the professionals would be quick to argue that it is all hard work and I am sure it is. I am sure the guy has trouble maintaining his erection while he is humping some foxy look woman but for the most part the subject only needs to pose and forget the camera is there. Then the Photoshop techs go to work and make it all perfect. But bathroom (or bedroom mirror) pics require thought and skill capturing the image just the way the person wanted to look.

What do you think? Am I on track or all wet? (No that was not sexual wet, give me a break)

As I write this, January 2012, I have this thought that many will find this report totally unbelievable. Why? Because in a moment in time, over 40 years ago, young couples did not fall into bed the moment they met. And the very first sex act was not always oral or intercourse. As I think back to those days there was a bit of innocence between us yet there was passion wanting to burst forth but afraid of it and what would happen if we took that step.

So I relate this exactly as it happened. To some it will be sensual, perhaps cute, or sweet, you add the adjective you consider most appropriate. Others will accuse me of being naive or making it up for effect. But this is exactly the way it happened and it is burned in my memory as if it happened yesterday. I do welcome your comments, flames included if you are so inclined.

It was our first time, I was 18, she was 20. We had dated for almost a year. Yes, back in 1967 some of us did wait a long time. We were riding in my parent’s car on a return trip from visiting relatives. She was next to me, so close that I could smell the scent of her perfume; it was intoxicating, so subtle that I had to be very close to catch the scent. I touched her bare arm, just above the elbow and I felt her tremble, I thought it was a chill from the cool air coming in the open car window (no AC in the 1959 Ford station wagon).

Her elbow, which had been on my thigh, now moved to my crotch. I was erect, and had been for miles as we drove along the state highway in the late fall. She felt it, I know she did, and she pressed down hard against the tip. I thought I was going to cum from that hard press against my arousal. We rode on forever with her pressing down on my erection and I pressed up against that elbow, enjoying the pressure and wanting more.

Later when home we got into my car to take her home, a couple blocks from my home. We drove through a small state park at the edge of town; yes we took the long way home. I stopped at a pretty overlook, the trees were beautiful in the setting sun, the air was cool, but it was HOT in that car. Her perfume (I later learned refreshed before getting in my car) filled my head, she was setting next to me, so close, she was warm on my arm, the air coming in the window that was down an inch or two was cool and that made me enjoy her warmth even more. Her breast brushed my arm, I wanted to touch her there but had not worked up the courage yet.

We had kissed before this, I turned and kissed her lightly, she returned it and then our passion broke. I moved my hand to her breast, so soft in her bra that must have been thin and her fuzzy sweater added to the sensuous feeling. I had never touched a breast, I was in heaven. I had no idea what to do except explore that breast. Her nipple stiffened from my touch, I was amazed and lingered as I felt that nub that was then and is today a point of extreme passion for me.

Then there was a hand on my cock still held inside my pants. She had no idea what to do, but rubbed up and down the length and always back on the tip, she seemed to know that was the point of pleasure, perhaps it was my reaction by pressing up into her hand as she would stop on the tip. She would rub fast, then slow down, I was insane with the need to cum.

And then my hand was between her legs, she was wearing stockings and a panty girdle (all women wore them in 1967) and I felt the fabric glide under my fingers. The satin panels smooth and sensual, the mesh stretch fabric rougher but yet sensual. I felt the garter holding her stockings, it was a bump that made me think of her nipple, but I wouldn’t go back to her breast, my hand was near the place I knew she’d get the most pleasure.

I had no idea what I was doing, I slid my hand up under her skirt further, her nylon slip caressing the back of my hand and then she parted her legs. She was trembling, hesitant, yet I knew she wanted my touch and I wanted it. My fingers found an opening in the crotch of that girdle (later found out it was a design feature of the garment) and her panties were soaking wet. My fingers glided along the tight panties, I felt nothing distinctive as far as her contours but I marveled at the wetness, and the scent grew in the car until it overpowered her perfume, I was intoxicated at that scent.

Her hand rubbed up and down my erection, two layers of cloth between her hand and my cock, I didn't care, it was fantastic. I rubbed between her legs, and then she clenched her thighs and shuddered and buried her face between my shoulder and neck and breathed heavily. I worried that I had hurt her, then I knew, she had cum, the panties were soaking wet, I had made a woman cum!

And then it happened, that cramp deep inside me. I knew I was at the edge, her hand was rubbing all over the tip of my cock, and I pressed hard against the palm of her hand and filled my pants with hot wet cum. I was out of control and groaned aloud, she clutched the tip of my cock wadded in my pants as my cock jerked and throbbed, spurting out my pent up cum and passion. We shared our first cum together.

We did not do any more sexually, the rest of this evening is too personal to discuss here.

The morning dawned with a band of pink and gray clouds on the eastern horizon. I opened my eyes seeing the display of colors and imagined it was a beautiful silk scarf covering your body. The curves in the clouds made me think of the curves of your body and my mind went to the single picture on your profile. In it you are wearing a blue satin slip, topped with lace. The clouds, whispy at the top made me imagine it was that lace. The only thing missing in that cloud were those bumps in your picture that I clearly knew were your erect nipples.

I shifted in my bed, my morning erection throbbed and my hand went automatically to the tip, it topped the stiff shaft, yet was spongy and yielded to my touch. "Would you touch me this way if you were here with me?" I wondered to myself. My hand slid inside my underwear feeling the flesh covering the rock hard shaft was soft and smooth as I made the first full stroke from tip to the base. I cupped my balls, smooth and hairless, rolling them around wondering what it would feel like with your soft hands holding me like this.

Then I slid my hand up and down the shaft, feeling the rim of the tip of my cock as I covered the tip fully, my pre-cum wet the tip and it was warm and slick. I wondered if you'd enjoy that feeling with your thumb sliding over the clear droplet. I slid my hand down my shaft again, looking out the window at the pink clouds now turning crimson red. It was like you were changing your lingerie to match my arousal. I wondered what your nipples were like without the blue satin slip. Were the always prominent, or did they only harden with arousal? Are your areoles dark, large, or pretty pink? My hand slid up and down, I imagined it was yours, warm, soft, and coaxing me to cum.

I closed my eyes and thought of the kind things you have said to me, and then was lost in thoughts of you and my pleasure. Then I reached that point of no return, that cramp deep inside that told me that my prostate was ready and my strokes quickened. On one hand I wanted this to last longer, yet the pleasure I was feeling brought me to this point quickly. I opened my eyes, the clouds were breaking up, but your image was in my mind and I pulled my hard cock out of my underwear to quickly storke just the tip. As the first shot of cum exploded out of my cock and all over my hand I thought of your breasts, that tatoo that peeks out over the top of the slip and yearned for the second spasm. I smeared the cum all over the tip of my cock, which was swelling again for the second spasm that would produce more white slick cum. And within seconds my balls produced another load and then another.

I relaxed as the fourth and final contraction produced a dribble of cum, and I opened my eyes to see the clouds were gone, replaced by a rich blue sky, which matched the slip in the picture. The cum, now wet and cold covered my hand and belly, would you clean it up with your tongue, I squeezed the tip of my cock for a final small spasm from my now semi-erect cock. I felt warm and close to you even though you are not here or on-line. Thank you for the inspiration this morning.

This is part two of the ultimate hand job. In the first chapter I described the meeting between us for the first time. You aroused me so quickly and made me cum before I had a chance to pleasure you. So now it is time to continue.

Like all my stories, this is a fantasy and none of this happened in real life. It is, on the other hand, written with one person in mind, I think you will recognize this and know how wonderful a fantasy can be even if you are not identified by name.

Our first meeting, in my opinion, would not end with you giving me a deep sensual hand job. I never take mor Continue»

The ultimate HJ

This story is pure fantasy and although it describes our meeting we both know that our sexual encounters will always be through this site. But please allow me this fantasy, this one is for you, my Cutie Pie!

I looked down between my legs, and you were there, smiling sweetly. Your arms were hanging across my bare legs and my erection was throbbing with the anticipation of your first touch.

I have dreamed of this moment, the moment when you ceased to be a picture or video on this site and have wanted desperately for you to be a flesh and bl**d woman. Now that we are t Continue»

The inspiration for this story came directly from a series of pictures posted by the xHamster user Crazgrrl who posted a series of pictures from a night in the hot tub with her male partner. My mind instantly built a story around the pictures and she was kind enough to grant permission to use them as the basis of this story. This is my first illustrated story and all pictures are used with her permission but remain her property and can be seen on her profile.

This story is pure fantasy, nothing that is written here is based on anything more than my mind ability to create a st Continue»

After too much time away from writing I have returned to www.xhamster.com with a new story that is written with one particular friend in mind. She has asked several times if I was going to write another story and it is that encouragement that brought this story to my mind. She is not identified in this story but I am sure she will know it is written for and about my continuing fantasy about her and her erotic presence here on xhamster. Thank you for your encouragement, perhaps the next story will not be so far down the road.

Fantasy or reality?

Have you ever had one of those mo Continue»

This story and its characters is a total fabrication that is based only on a few thoughts shared with a friend of mine on www.xhamster.com. Any similarity between actual people, places, or events is purely a coincidence. Having said this, wouldn’t it be a wonderful experience for both characters in this story.

All Business

The first time I saw her she was in the hotel gift shop poking about the touristy items intended to take home to the f****y and friends. She was a picture of poise, dressed in a nice business suit (skirt not a pant suit) with heels that were high enough to add Continue»

You walk into the bedroom, you have on a slip, yes a slip! It is pink and has a wide lace border around the bottom and just long enough to cover your panties. The slip is just thin enough that I can see the outline of your panties under them and I can see your bra straps on top. The slip is so soft against your skin, it clings a bit and accentuates your curves.

I am setting on the edge of the bed, I have on my sloppy old t-shirt and under that, just what I was born with. You can see that your lingerie has my attention not just by the look in my eyes. You walk slowly past me, the slip swis Continue»

This story, like most of what I publish, is a total fantasy, not a word, person, or location is based on anything more than an erotic thought in my head. I have had a couple conversations with someone that provided some inspiration, I will leave it up to her to find the part(s) that are all hers. Hope you enjoy, love to hear comments.

Short and Sweet[/]

I met Charlotte, really more by accident than design. I was single and she was too, so that was a plus in the sense that neither of us had to make up stories or excuses why we had a sudden, intense, and passionate meeting. If press Continue»

This story is 100% fantasy, none of the names or places is real and none of the events have occurred in real life to my knowledge. Any similarity between this story and any actual event(s) or person(s) is purely coincidental.

Often in life little bits of a conversation or a phrase used by another leads my mind to run wild in an erotic fantasy. And so it is with this story. It is based entirely on one phrase written to me via a text message by member of www.xhamster.com. To protect this person’s identity I will not divulge the actual statement used, but it is in this story. If y Continue»

This story is dedicated to a new friend of min on www.xhamster. Without her I would not have come up with the plot for this story so I want to thank her for making this suggestion. I took a few liberties as the story progresses so hope she approves.

Like all my stories on this site, this is 100% fabrication, it is make believe, none of the things described actually happened. None of the names represent real people or places. If you like the story I’d be pleased to hear so. If you hate the story let me know what you dislike and I will try to improve my next story.

Here goes&hel Continue»

An Early 21st Century Love Affair

This story was written and dedicated to my firt www.xhamster.com friend, hope you enjoy it.

The sound of rain hitting the window was the first thought in my mind as I woke in the dim predawn light. I had slept so soundly that it seemed that I had not moved a muscle, yet I felt as if I had run a race and needed to stretch to get my joints limbered up. As my mind began to clear from the deep sl**p the reality of the changes in my life began to come back to me.

I opened my eyes slowly as I listened to the rain hitting the window and I focused my eyes o Continue»

Fixed Up – The Complete Story

(MF, Cons)

It was nearly noon, “time to think about lunch,” I thought to myself as I looked up from my computer screen for the first time in an hour. As my focus went from close-up to distance I was shocked to see Stacey part her legs, and this time she was NOT wearing panties. Her silky smooth pussy, fully shaved, seemed to glisten in the half-light under her short skirt and between her parted legs. I gulped and thought, “I need to look away, it would not be good to get caught shooting this beaver!”

But my gaze was fixed Continue»