Me and My Cock(True).
Ive had loads of wanks in my life,infact,if wanks were pound notes,I'd be a fucking millionaire by now.
some were horny as fuck,others were over in a flash and some were just plain funny.
Like the time I went to the garden shed with the latest copy of play boy magazine.
I was going at it like hammer and tongs when I rested my arm on a shelf to try and get a better position for the vinegar strokes when crash...
the brackets gave way down came the shelf,followed by tins of paint and all sorts of other crap I lost my balance,fell to the floor and landed in a puddle of red paint.You think that was bad?
when i stood up i had paint everywhere and I mean everywhere.
Clothes,hair and you guessed it,all over my John Thomas.
Oh but that still ain't the worst of it.
It was gloss paint and my wife at the time was busy putting the finishing touches to her own war paint so that we could go out for the night.
Funny now but at the time...
I made some cock n bull story up about needing a piss and the shelf gave way or some such.
I dont know if she really believed me but she did help to clean me up and every cloud has a silver lining.
By the time I was presentable it was too late to go out and we were both so turned on we stayed in and fucked all night.
One of the earliest wanks that springs to mind was when I got caught by my mother.
I guess loads of guy's and Mothers come to that have been faced with that one but i felt like the only lad that it had ever happened to at the time and it took me a good couple of days to venture back down there with my hand,but once i got over that,there was no holding me back.
A memorable occasion came when i was working night shift in a factory and i had been reading some steamy foreign porn,very hard core.
Anal as I remember,my favourite subject and still is as a matter of fact.
Well it Was about three in the morning and apart from the sound of the machinery,all was still.
I decided to nip up to the toilet and toss one off.
So mag in hand I set off up the stairs pulling my fly down as i went so as to get a good head start.
I turned the corner into the toilet and collided right into one of my work colleagues.
"Shit" said and my hands flew up instinctively.The magazine fell to the floor and landed wide open.
My mate jumped back in shock at the collision,then he glanced down at the mag,then up at my open fly with my John Thomas on full show again.
That is one of those moments in life no guy ever wants to be faced with,believe me.
Your head works over time looking for some sort of excuse,a way out of this impossible situation.
There is no way out.And my mind quickly accepted this I looked at him smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
"What can I say",I said then reached down and picked up the magazine,squeezed past him,and carried on to the cubicle at the end of the stalls and shut the door.
Funny thing is I still managed a wank...How about that!
One of the most erotic wanks I ever had was with my long term partner now.
It was only about the third time we ever slept together and i was not sure how she would react if i suggested I have a wank.
I need not have worried.
I finaly plucked up the courage to broach the subject with her and when i did she said of course you can wank,fuck I do.
Now you may think me naive or something,but i honestly thought women only wanked in porn movies.
All ther girls i had had in the past would say definately not,uh uh,no way.
"I dont do that".
So as far as I was concerned,wanking was a male dominated activity.
Well my girlfriend sure sorted me out on that score.
She lay beside me as I started to go for it and caressed my balls with one hand as she rubbed slowly and sensually at her clitoris with the other.
I couldn't take my eyes off her.It was fucking amazing.
She then took my hand and put it down on her clit and showed me how to do it properly.
It was magical.
She in turn took my cock in her hand and began to wank me slowly and methodically,with practised ease.
Man we lay there for what must have been an hour,just wanking.
She would take us both to the point of climax then briefly stop,stroke,caress and start again.
Oh this girl could wank with the best of them,and I thought i was good.
Anyway when we finally did come it was together and in such frenzy of excitement that I had never experienced before.
We wank a lot together needless to say,and every time is just as good as the first.
One day wankers will rule this world,and what a better world it will be for it.