They Walk Among Us


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. Then she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?" . . .

They Walk Among Us!
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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on It saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution ...

They Walk Among Us!
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While looking at a house, my b*****r asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"

When my b*****r explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!
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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialled is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern Standard Time or Western Standard Time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Eastern" . . . . . .

They Walk Among Us!
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A mate and I were eating lunch in a restaurant when we overheard a woman at the next table talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive up the coast. She was saying she drove a convertible and a blonde girl sitting across from her said, "How did you get sunburned? Wasn't the car was moving?". . .

They Walk Among Us!
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My s****r has a lifesaving tool in her car that's designed to to break the window if the car goes into the water. She keeps it in the trunk....

They Walk Among Us!
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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!
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I was hanging out with a mate when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My mate said, "Wouldn't the Chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us!
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While in an Italian restaurant I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!
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They walk among us, and what's scary is that they reproduce - and, God help us, some of them even vote!



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Categories: Sex Humor
Posted by Tilly01
3 years ago    Views: 2,385
Comments (39)
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12 days ago
some pretty cool and lame stuff, thanks
Terry
16 days ago
Too true. Thanks for posting.
4 months ago
We am AnonyMoooooose!

We fear that many of "them" visit xHamster!
5 months ago
Must be an awful lot of them out there, now I understand how Obama got himself elected.
9 months ago
Hehe - great stuff - had quite a few chuckles. Well done girl - cheers
2 years ago
I am enjoying your page more all the time.
and I am a puter and internet guru since the 70s
I have some idea of what I am talking about
go girl You rock
2 years ago
And just think, they also get called for jurry duty and get to vote for president !!
2 years ago
Funny stuff... years ago, the wife and I were moving into the house we'd just bought. I was loading the truck. Along comes some random guy, and he asks, 'hey, you moving/' I said 'Nope!, just taking my stuff for a ride.'
IF, I had added, "Here's your sign...' I might have been on that comedy tour...
2 years ago
lmfao
2 years ago
Hahaha...next time you have to buy 10 cases of beer. Order a taxi to carry them home. Will be cheaper anyway i think.
2 years ago
@beachbootyman01
> I once had a guy get mad at when I tried explain to him that a
> 100 pounds of Gold and a 100 pounds of feather weigh the same.

Well, you won't believe me, but the guy was actually right. Sure they have same *mass*, but *weight* in atmosphere is different. Look up 'weight' and 'Archimedes principle' in Wikipedia for example.
2 years ago
Awesome! Always nice to start the day with a chuckle. Thanks!
2 years ago
These Tales Are Great,I wish I could Give Ten Stars**********.
2 years ago
I once had a guy get mad at when I tried explain to him that a 100 pounds of Gold and a 100 pounds of feather weigh the same.
2 years ago
I had to read the one about the Beer run a coupleof time to get.LOL.Too bad you didn't get three cases and got 30%.
2 years ago
I once Work at A Local Grocery Store Back in 1976 and The Manager Price the Green Beans At $.25 at Can.They barely sold.Later that week he reprice them to three for a Dollar and we couldn't keep them on the shelves.I guess everyone wants a bargain.whether it is or not.
2 years ago
I nearly fell to the ground laughing. Thank you!
2 years ago
These are the Same people that go in and vote without the slightest idea who the Canidates are.You hear them talking as they come out of the Polls saying "I Don't Know Who any of them are ,But I got a right So I voted"..
Thanks For Posting ,You Got my Day Started.
2 years ago
They vote, they reproduce, and then they have the nerve to get mad when you point out the obvious to them...ahh idiots w/o them, whatever will we do for comedy?
kzdiver
retired
2 years ago
Hilarious! Thank you for sharing.
3 years ago
Thank god for idiots. Without them, who else would we laugh at?
3 years ago
funny stuff and yes they walk among us, they look like us n act like us the only way 2 know who they are is 2 talk 2 them..you will realize a difference fairly quickly!
3 years ago
good stuuf
3 years ago
I like your stories. Have you ever viewed the Darwin Awards site?
3 years ago
And yet for some reason you women will date only these idiots
3 years ago
Oh so scary and way too true...
3 years ago
lol
3 years ago
sad thing is that they do vote
Reedss
retired
3 years ago
Lol
3 years ago
lol