This is part 1 of the story of a young man in his early twenties who has trouble getting laid. He is obsessed with women and has a serious self-image problem. The story has a long build up with a big sex scene at the end, so please, be patient. However, feel free to skip to the end if you want to get off.
Although I have written a bunch of short stories (and even given up on a few novels) this is the first I have had the courage to publish.
Some individuals having sex in the story are under 18, some as young as 16, so if any of this offends you, turn away now.
Sins of the Father – Part 1, Dirty Version
Ben bent double and grabbed his sweat-slicked knees, heaving deep breaths. He knew he should keep walking or jogging at a gentle pace after such vigorous exercise to keep the bl**d flowing, but his body just wouldn’t budge.
It wasn’t the first time he had sprinted up the hill. In fact, it was probably the fourth time this week he had gone full blast from the main street up to the cul-de-sac where he lived. But this kind of exertion at that incline was more than most sane people could bear, and he wasn’t getting used to it very quickly.
Ben was a lean and lanky young man. He had lived, worked, and gone to school in Raleigh, North Carolina, all of his miserable 22 years. School had been a terrible experience for him, work was a hassle, and he had a meager excuse for a f****y. Being socially awkward his entire life had made that Ben hated going out in public. He hated seeing people he knew he could never be friends with. He hated passing by women who he knew he would never stand a chance with. But most of all, he hated knowing that he, in all his being, was so much different and less desirable than those he saw around him.
If there was one thing Ben did love doing, however, it was running. It let him forget about everything. Forgetting was what helped him make it through his day to day life without having to think.
When Ben opened the front door he heard a high squeal. A greyish-white cat jumped at his ankle, scratched it, and darted away in a flash. His grandmother’s old cat was long gone before Ben figured that the old thing had been lying on the floor behind the front door when he had opened it fast and f***efully, pinching the cat’s tail between the door and the floor. Ben shrugged and made his way to the kitchen. He hated the fucking thing anyway – it was ugly, old, and it pissed just about anywhere it pleased.
He went straight to the kitchen and poured himself a tall glass of iced tea. The cool liquid felt great running down his throat. In this hot weather, he didn’t know what he would do without his trusty jug of ice tea. He poured himself another full glass, searched the pantry for a bag of chips, and made his way up to his room.
The kitchen and Ben’s room were the only clean rooms in the house. His aging grandmother was confined to the living room chair with her medical oxygen tanks. Decades of smoking along with plenty of other bad habits had rendered her incapable of doing anything even mildly productive. She had been old and immobile since Ben had known her, and as a result the house had always been a pigsty. Occasionally Ben would clean up some of the mess in the hallways, but only enough to safely make his way through the first floor. The rest of the house could easily be classified as a junkyard. It reeked of mothballs, rotting furniture, dead mice, and the excrement from all the other neighborhood cats that tended to visit the house.
Before he flopped down on his soft twin sized bed, he placed his bathroom towel on top of the sheets to absorb the sweat on his body. He didn’t actually mind having his bed all sweaty, but he realized that if he ever had a girlfriend, he would have to change some of his habits as to not gross her out. The good thing, he told himself, was that he was completely and utterly single, and so had absolutely no need to quit any of his less than civil habits. He laughed at that thought as he fired up his laptop. There are always two sides to everything, he thought. No girl means you can watch all the porn you want, cum anywhere you want, and go any number of days you please without showering. Life was good when you thought about it that way.
Porn hadn’t been satisfying Ben as much as it used to. In fact, it wasn’t doing anything for him these days. Nonetheless, he went to Google and typed in ‘Milf blowjob’. The search showed links that were almost all in purple lettering, which meant that he had already opened those links and seen those movies. He decided to try ‘blonde college girl fuck’, and opened the first link. Five minutes of watching had yielded no results, and after ten minutes of seeing the busty blond scream and writhe on the screen, Ben decided to give up. He tucked his limp member away, wondering why visual images weren’t stimulating him anymore. I hope it doesn’t mean I don’t like sex anymore. He had heard stories of men who watched too much porn and their resulting problems. A lot of the time these people preferred pornography to the real thing, and to think that the image of such a pleasurable thing as a gorgeous twenty year old woman moan in pleasure at being sodomized on a couch didn’t even cause a stir in his pants… Ben shuddered at the thought and pushed it out of his mind. Maybe junior just needs a rest. He clicked on the Facebook tab.
Four new notifications. He opened the notifications tab and nothing struck him as important. A request from some idiot for Ben to play Mafia Wars with him, a Farmville request from a nerdy girl with whom he had gone to elementary school. A girl he didn’t know personally had commented on ‘Daniel’s graduation party.’ The fourth comment was an invitation from Daniel, a k** whose b*****r he knew from high school and had been friends with. He didn’t know Daniel well at all. Daniel’s older b*****r, Zach, he did know. The two of them, among some other friends, had smoked tremendous amounts of weed in the forest surrounding the neighborhood back in high school. Ben’s mind conjured an image of them getting high in the secluded forest when they were in high school. How old had he been? f******n? Fifteen? He remembered that they had been his first group of friends in high school, and he had hung out with them for years.
His attention snapped back to the invite. He opened the invite itself and saw a picture of a bright blue swimming pool with sun umbrellas surrounding it. The k** must have downloaded the picture from the internet, Ben definitely didn’t remember Zach’s pool being that big and blue. The image was pretty enticing nonetheless. He scrolled down to find that eight of the 17 people invited had already said they were coming. Three said they might be coming, and the rest hadn’t replied yet.
Would it weird of a young adult who was supposed to be almost out of college went to a high school pool party? A pang of excitement shot through him. Well, they were practically out of high school, he reasoned. Damn, dude. He thought to himself. You’re one sick motherfucker, lusting after high-schoolers. Of course, he had heard of larger age gaps between two people dating. He looked at the bottom right of his laptop and realized he had less than an hour left before he had to go to work. He decided to send Zach a quick message about his b*****r’s party and closed the Facebook tab. Ben figured he might as well get to work a little bit earlier, It’s not as if he had anything else even mildly important on his schedule.
The money Ben made scooping ice cream for annoying c***dren wasn’t near enough for the kind of pain he was taking. His long shifts were incredibly tiring and mind numbingly boring. The good thing was that a lot of the time he could just sit around and do nothing, which happened to be one of his favorite things to do. He would sit and stare into space, lost in his own thoughts for what felt like hours at a time.
It was past nine-thirty, Ben decided to close up a little sooner. Surely the manager wouldn’t mind. In his entire eight hour shift only four customers had visited. Ben went to the back room and picked up his backpack. He closed the ice cream vats and locked them, then took off the ridiculous visor he had to wear as part of his work uniform. He was halfway around the counter when he heard the door chime ring. Ben sighed. Although he couldn’t see the new arrival because of the large fridge blocking his view, he knew it was another customer.
Ben scolded himself silently for not putting up the ‘closed’ sign earlier. Guess I’ll just have to leave ten minutes later. He pulled his visor back on and unlocked the freezer door. He stuck his hand in the sink and searched around for the dirty old ice cream scoop in the mucky dishwater. When he found it he turned around, at the same time expertly flicking the scoop so that the last few drops of water sprayed onto the floor and wall behind him. He lifted the glass door of the display case open and waited for the order to come. When none did he looked up frustratedly at the customer. He froze in place. She was gorgeous. The girl was quietly looking down at the selections of ice cream and biting her bottom lip. She didn’t seem to notice Ben, and took her time carefully reading the description of each flavor of ice cream behind the glass. She had a slight build, from what Ben could see. Her eyes were a deep brown, as was her hair. She was very well tanned and would have easily been mistaken as Hispanic. She was wearing a thin line of eyeliner, but not much else on the way of makeup.
The girl moved over to the right of the ice cream display and continued her focused exploration. Ben found himself moving along with her, ogling her the whole time. She had a tremendous amount of natural beauty, and although Ben wasn’t particularly fond of skinny girls, he definitely felt an attraction for her slim body. Of course it wasn’t unique for him to be entranced by a girl within seconds of laying eyes on her. He was the type of person would sit on a park bench fantasize about a woman he was watching. He had always felt self-conscious and ashamed of it, as if someone would peer into his sick mind at that very moment and call him out. But he had grown past that point. He didn’t care about trivial things such as shame anymore. He loved watching females and imagining them opening their legs for him, just as he was imagining the girl in front of him laying naked on her back, right there in the store. But the girl ordered strawberry cheesecake ice cream, “in a cone, please,” and didn’t look up from her phone until she left the store again. It was as if Ben never existed.
His grandmother was in her sofa chair as always when Ben walked in through the front door later that evening.
“Ben! Ben is that you?” Came the squawk from inside the TV room.
“Yeah, I’m here Grandma,” He replied, tossing his backpack aside.
“Ben, is that you?” She asked again.
“Yes Grandma!” Ben yelled f***efully. He forgot that the old lady was losing her hearing by the day, and every time he had to yell louder so that she could hear him.
“Bring me some ice cream,” her voice came again.
Ben rolled his eyes and shouted an affirmative.
He was rummaging through the deep end of the huge old box freezer for an unopened tab of vanilla ice cream when he heard her voice again.
“Jeremy, bring me some god-damn ice cream!”
Ben couldn’t help but chuckle when he heard his father’s name. Her Alzheimer’s was getting worse every day. He found the ice cream tab and brought it in to his old grandmother. The television was on a game show, the channel was a typical Southern channel with local news, stupid game shows, treacherous religious programs, and lots of awful country music. It was the only channel Grandma ever watched. She watched it with a focus so deep that she was completely oblivious to the world around her. Other than the occasional cackle, she never seemed to move a muscle. She wasn’t the best of company, and she definitely wouldn’t be mistaken for the most caring person in the world.
She didn’t look up as he placed the ice cream and a large carton of cheap cigarettes down on the small table next to her. She grabbed the pack of cigarettes, tore it open, popped one into her mouth, and glued her eyes back on the television.
Ben found it hard to believe that anyone could still smoke after they had already been on oxygen for a few years. But the old lady didn’t seem to mind one bit. She happily puffed on her cigarette, eyes transfixed on the screen, the tub of ice cream lying forgotten on the table. Ben left her be and made his way upstairs
“And don’t forget to feed Rumbler!” Came the yell from behind him.
This time Ben burst out in a fit of laughter. Rumbler – his grandmother’s utterly annoying parrot had, by the grace of God, died six years earlier. The damn thing kept Ben awake more nights than he could remember, listening to it squawk about democrats, homosexuals, and the lottery, all things it must have heard from his grandmother’s cheesy television.
Ben made his way up the stairs and flopped down on his bed again. He thought about his grandmother calling him Jeremy. It was strange. Ben never knew either of his parents, his grandmother was the only f****y he knew of or had contact with. When Ben was younger, Ben had wished that the story his Grandmother had told him wasn’t true. He would often fantasize about his parents having been a loving couple who had tragically died in a car crash. But Ben knew that wasn’t the case. Although Grandma’s account wasn’t likely to be very accurate, he had grown to accept the real scenario in which he had probably been conceived.
Ben realized he hadn’t showered in a number of days, and would probably get in trouble with his boss if he showed up to work smelling like a pile of shit and with hair greasy enough to cook bacon. He stood up and made his way down the second floor hall and turned into the small bathroom. The house would have been considered appropriate for a f****y of two or three to live in (Four would be pushing it) but with what must have been six decades worth of useless garbage stacked into shoulder-high piles, one person would struggle to find room to move freely. Ben turned the shower on, and while he waited for the water to heat up, he leaned on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror.
According to his grandmother, Jeremy, his father, had disappeared shortly after his girlfriend’s pregnancy. The girl Jeremy had been seeing was not even s*******n years old when he had left her pregnant and broke all those years ago. The young girl had tried to find him a few years after Ben’s birth so that he could help out with finances. Upon finding Jeremy’s supposed address, she had been upset to discover that he had left for Columbia to live with his sexy Latina girlfriend. She had just been his whore, and he had just been another cock for her to suck on. In the days when Grandma had still spoken, her vulgarity knew no bounds, and her brutally honest words were free of any sensitivity towards young Benny. Grandma said that the girl, then nineteen, had been diagnosed with HIV, “either from all the tar she shot” Grandma had said, “or all the men she serviced for a few nickels.” The girl probably knew she didn’t have much time left, so she decided to leave 4 year-old Ben with his parental grandmother. No-one knew what had become of her. As far as Ben knew, Grandma was the last person to have seen her.
The water was running hot. Ben pulled his clothes off and stepped into the shower. He turned the rusty old shower head down and stood toward the back end of the tiny shower while he fidgeted with the tap, trying to get the best temperature. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a spider scurry from the drain hole to a corner of the shower. Ben recognized it as a wolf spider, a common species around the East coast. He had done research on it when he realized that they were all over his house. He found that although it looked damn ugly, it’s bite would cause a headache, some swelling, and – at worst – a fever. He used the long wooden laying in the corner to squash the spider into the floor. It left a yellowish goo behind which Ben washed off with shower head, and the floor returned to its previous color of greyish brown grime.
Ben was frequently riddled with disturbing thoughts of his mother’s diseased corpse lying in a ditch somewhere in the country side. He couldn’t recall anything about his mother, he didn’t even know her name, but he did know that she had been a tramp who constantly got herself into trouble. Ben couldn’t even be sure that he was related to Grandma, which made him feel a little less guilty about disliking her. Jeremy had only been one of the many men who had taken Ben’s young mother behind a dumpster outside a street bar and fucked her. A dirty way to be conceived, if there ever was one.
The thought had always brought tears to his eyes, but as he had gotten older he tended to become enraged by the mental image of a grown man pressing a young girl against the wall as he roughly shoved his member deep inside her, the girl moaning with the intense pleasure. Ben had no idea where this image had come from, he had no idea why he got so worked up about it, but the fact of the matter was that it bothered him a lot.
After he rinsed the soap out of his eyes, he turned to let the stream of hot water catch his left shoulder and the side of his neck. He was facing the glass shower door and could see part of the bathroom mirror. His reflection matched his mood: gaunt, grim, and lacking life.
In the morning Ben rubbed his eyes and groggily made his way down to the kitchen to boil some hot water. The old stove usually took about 15 minutes to actually bring the kettle water to boil, so Ben went back up to his room and opened his laptop. As his mind cleared from the morning fog he became increasingly aware that today would be another ordinary day, filled with his usual depressingly mundane tasks. He opened two tabs on the internet, one for Facebook, and another for porn. He opened his notifications tab and noticed that there had been more commotion on the ‘Daniels Graduation Party’ page. It occurred to him that he had not responded to the invite yet, nor had he been contacted by Zach thus far. The party was this coming Friday, which was – he checked the computer calendar – tomorrow!
Shit. Ben pursed his lips uncertainly while he looked at the screen, weighing his options. He knew it would be damn weird if he showed up at a pool party among a bunch of k**s who he for the most part didn’t know. He played a few scenarios out in his head. In the first one he visualized himself sitting tentatively on a bench by the pool, hands nervously fumbling with his phone. People were ignoring him, completely oblivious to his presence. A familiar feeling entered the pit of Ben’s stomach, as if an ice cold rock had suddenly materialized in his abdomen. He realized that he was frantically chewing on the inside of his cheek, a nervous habit he had developed back in middle school. Ben was about slam the laptop shut when another picture entered his mind.
He was lying on a sun chair outside. The atmosphere was pleasantly warm and comfortable, and the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting a deep orange light over the world. He wasn’t the only one on the sun chair; a girl, about s*******n, with long, dark hair was lying to his side, one leg straddling his. His arm was around her slender body, his hand resting comfortably on her waist. He turned his head to face her. She looked at him with those beautiful brown eyes, and Ben could feel his heart starting to beat faster. The girl leaned over him, resting her chest on his. He felt her soft skin on his. She lifted her head towards him and closed her eyes. When her lips met Ben’s, a cool breeze sailed through the late afternoon sky, raising goose bumps over his whole body.
The piercing whine of the kettle snapped Ben out of his delirium. He moved the mouse arrow over to the options bar and, with a smile curling on his mouth, clicked Attending.
Noon, the last Friday of June, meant that there were only four hours left until the party started. Ben had overslept. He hurried down the stairs ten minutes later, making a loud thump as he landed on the floor.
“Mariana, is that you?” Came the voice from inside the house.
Ben froze in his tracks. Who the fuck is Mariana?
“No it’s me, grandma.”
No reply. He shrugged and grabbed his bag. Once outside, Ben went around the side of the shaggy house, hopped on his bicycle, and headed down the street.
The mall was Ben’s usual hang out spot, a place where he didn’t feel so utterly alone and depressed. Instead, he frequented the mall and had a habit of sitting in the food court and watching the passers-by, perving over the high school girls, and sulk at the sight of seemingly happy young couples.
The cool air-conditioned interior of the mall hit his face. It felt amazing after having biked four miles in this heat. He made his way past some smaller stores to the food court and ordered his usual meal – orange chicken with fried rice and veggies – from his usual vendor. He took his seat toward the back, facing the inside of the large food court.
He hadn’t eaten breakfast and his stomach grumbled when the sweet smell of food drifted from the polystyrene box. He immediately started shoveling spoonfuls of rice into his mouth, followed by some chicken and deep fried vegetables. His mood improved considerably as he ate, restoring a feeling of alertness and optimism. When he had wolfed down his entire lunch, he picked up his large drink and took a few long sips of cold ice tea. The anxiety he had felt earlier in the morning had drifted away and was replaced by a feeling of fullness. He sat back lazily and surveyed the distance. The mall was brimming with noise from conversations, laughter, the scr****g of chairs, and the sizzle of food being deep fried. He spotted a group of girls walking from the right. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen. They were all attractive, but one of the four was exceptionally pretty with dirty-blond hair hanging down her back. She was walking at the back of the group and had an air of “just don’t care” about her. Her eyelids were slightly lowered, as if she were either stoned, or utterly bored of the situation she was in, and there was nothing on this planet that could impress her. Ben assumed it was the latter. He felt a fluttering in his stomach as he gazed at her beautiful features as she and her posse slowly made their way in his direction. They stopped at a table in the center of the food court, twenty feet short of him. At the table they met a group of boys and greeted them with hugs. The five boys were maybe a year or two older than the girls, probably seniors. Probably football players. k**s who just didn’t give a shit in life, yet somehow still managed to get the girl. Ben smirked at the thought and took another sip of tea.
The group jumped into conversation right away, and although he was too far to make out what the conversation was about, Ben thought he caught the words “Beach” and “Week” jump up a few times. Holy shit, he thought, those fuckers went to beach week with those girls. Ben wondered if they had all fucked the pretty girl with the long hair. His heart started racing as he pictured it. She was on the bed on all fours, her long hair falling to one side as she took one of the guys’ penis in her mouth. Another boy stood behind her, his pants around his ankles, ramming into the girl’s tight pussy.
The thought disgusted him, and the rock hard erection he was suddenly sporting under the table pissed him off even more. How was it possible that a bunch of losers like them could get with girls that hot? see the group saying their goodbyes. They exchanged hugs once more, and the girls were on their way again, leaving the group of boys babbling and snickering quietly among themselves.
The girls went to the end of the food court, chatting happily, and disappeared around the corner. Ben sat completely still, staring at the empty polystyrene food box in front of him. He would have done anything to have her, anything, even if it was for just a moment of attention. His good mood at all but disappeared, leaving him feeling dull and empty. He was pissed at himself, not only because he wasn’t good enough for her, but also because he let his imagination run free and cause havoc on his feelings. Despite all the radiant energy of attraction he was beaming at her, the girl hadn’t even noticed his existence.
Ben milled around the mall for another hour, after that he stopped by the liquor store and stocked up on beer and whiskey. When he finally got home in the early afternoon he slumped down on his bed, letting out a long, audible groan. Occurrences like what had happened at the mall left him with a deep sense of sadness. He felt utterly pitiful knowing that that girl would pick a high school boy over him, any day. He was angry knowing although he was at least four years that boys’ senior, she would be creeped out by him – that was just who he was. What tugged at him most was that, despite trying so hard, despite doing his best to be a good person, and despite him putting every ounce of effort into changing himself into the man women wanted, he never seemed to be repaid for his efforts. No payment for his work in the least. He turned on his side, slid a tattered blanket over himself, and curled into a fetal position, pressing his face into the pillow. The worst part was that, no matter how hot and beautiful a day it was, Ben felt cold and dark on the inside.
He woke up some time later, jumping out of his skin when he realized it was almost six o’clock. The party was already well on its way. He hopped off his bed and ran to the closet, pulling on his swimming trunks and a fresh t-shirt. He stopped when he came across the 30-pack of beer on the floor. Did he really want to be around people now? He got sent into a deep and sudden depression just by sitting in the mall, how would he react if he sat all alone at a party, being completely ignored by the others? Time was ticking. It would still take at least another twenty minutes to bike to the house where the party was. Of course he could just plop down on his bed, open a 30-pack, and forget about the whole thing.
Ben was frozen in indecision, picking at his bottom lip. Getting d***k by himself was an attractive option. Then he remembered the vision he had had the day before. The beautiful unknown girl in his arm, the situation he had always dreamed about. A chance to turn things around. He finally settled on going to the party. Whether he ended the night wallowing in self-pity or having the time of his life, rocking some cunt, would remain to be seen.
He arrived at the party on his bike, chained it to a post a block down, and made his way to the front door. He had a large, suspicious looking backpack full of alcohol. There were high-schoolers on the front lawn, chatting away. Ben could hear noise coming from inside – the unmistakable rhythmic thumping of music. He stood outside the door and looked around uncertainly. He raised his hand to the doorbell, but thought better of it. He opened the door and let himself in.
The foyer of the large house was packed. He made his way through the loud crowd, out into the backyard by the pool. When he got to the back yard his jaw dropped. There must have been well over two hundred people around the pool and backyard. The music was blasting from two large black speakers at the far end of the pool. Ben immediately started feeling nervous. Hadn’t the invite said only like twenty people would be here? Fuck. He felt a trickle of cold sweat running down his neck. How was he going to handle this? He started fumbling nervously with his phone in his pocket. There were no visible places where he could sit and be hidden from the crowd. He was still debating where he could sit without being noticed when he felt a hard slap his back.
“Benny!” It was Zach. “Dude! I thought you wouldn’t come.”
Ben could smell beer on Zach’s breath.
“Yupp. I made it.” Ben tried to smile, but his face felt numb.
Zach’s eyes trailed off to the side, then shot back at Ben, as if noticing him for the first time. A new song started thumping through the speakers.
“Dude, there’s so much tail here!” He yelled into Ben’s ear. “Look at all that high school pussy!”
A girl walked past the two and gave them a look of disgust. She was carrying a red cup filled to the brim with beer. Zach and Ben stared at her heart shaped ass as she walked.
Zach let out a d***ken laugh and threw his arm around Ben’s neck. Ben f***ed out a nervous laugh of his own. The parents were obviously not home, and all depended on Zach to make sure no havoc was wreaked in his house. Ben doubted he’d be of much use if he was already this plastered only two hours into the party.
A group of two girls passed by again, Zach slid off Ben and followed them. He could hear Zach blabbering his name and age, the two girls giggled and turned their backs on him.
“Aww, come on!” He mewled . “Give Uncle Zach sum love!”
It made Ben feel slightly better knowing he wasn’t the only one being pushed away by the female population.
He looked around again, scanning the pool area for a hideout. A girl was sitting on a chair by herself, staring right at Ben. He immediately averted his eyes. He spotted a small bench behind a row of pool chairs. Ben hurried over and took a seat, placing the backpack next to him on the bench. With a shaking hand, he unzipped the bag and felt around for the beer. He took two out, opened the first, and drank half the can in a few quick gulps. He sat back and waited for the first buzz of the alcohol to hit him. Slowly, he started feeling calmer. This was what he needed, he thought. When the first can was finished he opened the second, and made quick work of it as well. He dropped the can to the side and reached over for his third when something caught his attention. A flash of blond hair and a familiar beautiful face.
His anxiety returned in an instant when he recognized the girl from the mall. He fumbled with a beer and put it to his lips, never taking his eyes off her. She had a body to match her face. Well proportioned, with smooth, light skin. Ben looked at her crotch. His mind flooded with images of what might be hidden under those thin black bikini bottoms. Was she cleanly shaven? Were her pussy lips soft and puffy? How would it feel running his lips up her vagina? Ben felt his pants stirring. The all too familiar feeling of shame coursed through him. He was perving over a girl five years younger than him, a girl who would surely be freaked out if she realized he was staring at her.
There were teenagers swimming in the pool, throwing a ball, flirting, dunking each other’s heads under water. There was no way Ben was going in that pool. What would he do? Lean on the edge with a stupid smile on his face? Speak of being creepy.
He decided to stay put and break out the whiskey, if nothing else, he could at least sit and enjoy the view of teen ass walking around for the remainder of the party. He sipped the whiskey from the bottle. The pool chairs in front of him were occupied by a group of girls about 18 years old. All of them were wearing sunglasses of ridiculous shapes and sizes. Their bikinis were tight and made their ass cracks delightfully visible. Ben got a jolt of excitement every time one of them turned their back to him or bent over to pick something up. One girl in particular had an exceptional body. Firm young tits, flat belly, and a curvaceous little butt. She was standing and drying her hair, deep in conversation with the other girls. Ben stared at her openly, and looked away casually whenever her head turned in his direction.
He got a good look at her breasts again and held his stare.
“Excuse me, do you have a problem.” The girl said suddenly.
Ben looked to his right to see who she was talking to. No-one was there.
“You know, I can see you looking at me, dude.”
Fuck. She was talking to him. He cursed himself silently. Of course she could see out the corner of her eyes, he didn’t notice it because her sunglasses preventing him from seeing where she was looking.
“Hey, I’m talking to you.” She turned to face him.
Ben slowly faced her direction. The other girls were also watching him, although he couldn’t read the looks on their faces, he was pretty confident they were also pissed at him. He saw that the pretty blond girl had noticed the situation as well.
“Uh… I… Um… I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to…” He stuttered.
His heart was beating at an unreal pace, he started to feel sick. He felt like he was a ten year old c***d, caught stealing in a shop, and now he was being confronted by the adults.
“That’s pretty gross of you.” Another girl chimed in. “Just sitting there, perving on us.”
He felt like he was going to be sick. He wanted to apologize again but no sound came out of his mouth.
“I’m really sorry.” It was barely a whisper, his voice had abandoned him.
But the girls hadn’t heard him. They had turned their heads back and continued their conversation, only in a lower, quieter tone than before.
Ben wasn’t spared another glance from the girls. As suddenly as he had been in the limelight of humiliation, it was all over. He realized he was shaking profusely, more sweat streaming down the side of his flushed face. Any minute now he would throw up
Quietly, he gathered his backpack and slithered away, keeping his eyes three feet in front of him the whole way. He found a new place to sit on the opposite side of the pool. He settled down, grabbed a beer, and anxiously scanned the area for anyone who might call him out again.
He noticed the girl he had seen watching him when he was talking to Zach, she was sitting in the same place she had been half an hour ago. When she realized that he had caught her staring, she looked away quickly.
He took her in carefully. She seemed somewhat younger than the rest. She was wearing a soft white shirt and tight little denim shorts. She had pretty eyes, and nice dark brown hair, Ben thought d***kenly, and although she would clearly have trouble keeping the pounds off later in life, she had a decent body.
She was almost as inactive as Ben was, occasionally exchanging a few words with one of the others, but mostly keeping to herself, taking frequent sips from a red cup. Every so often, she stole a glimpse at Ben, which amused him a lot. Chicky wants my dicky.
The backpack was becoming lighter as he finished off the beers one by one, tossing the empty cans to the side. After another hour he was almost halfway through the 30-pack when his bladder felt like it was going to burst. The last thing he wanted was to go back into crowded house, surrounded by complete strangers who would stare at him, or ignore him. Ben was considering pissing in his pants on the spot when he caught sight of the young girl again. She had changed seats, and was now sitting directly opposite him. The two were separated by no more than forty feet. Chicky is as needy as I am. Ben scanned the area. Many people had gone inside to continue drinking or dancing.
Although letting his bladder loose on the spot would have saved him a lot of effort, he decided to save himself any more embarrassment, he grabbed his whiskey and heaved himself off his ass. The good thing about inside, he told himself, was that Chicky over in the corner wouldn’t be devouring his soul through her eyes anymore.
The pounding of music got louder as he neared the back door. The calm that he had been blessed with from the booze quickly evaporated, and any liquid courage he might have regained after being scolded by those bitchy girls seeped away. Ben filled his lungs with air, took a swig of his health potion, and marched through the house.
He tried to look confident, but realized that he was so invisible to everyone, that if he had been completely naked with a large, pink bow tied around his cock, no-one would have blinked an eye. His existence was futile.
He neared a large, dark room on the left. The music was deafeningly loud at first, but as his ears accustomed to it, he dared to inch a little closer. Strobe lights raked the ceiling and walls, and peppered the heads of a hundred dancing teens with specks of light. Anxiety stabbed at Ben, but he inched closer, into alien territory. He could make out voices now, and a faint cheering started to materialize. Against his better judgment, he followed the source of cheering, going deeper into the darkness. The sound he was following died away, and soon he was completely surrounded, boxed in by strangers who were dancing, writhing, laughing. Ben’s anxiety was on the verge of peaking as the flickering lights blinded him, and he made to ram his way to safety, when he heard it again.
The high pitched cheers of girls were punctuated by an occasional ‘Whoop!’ A circle was formed around two figures, and as he came nearer Ben could make out the name ‘Alyssa’ being yelled. He looked over the tops of a few heads and saw a girl - that same blond girl from the mall, the same beautiful young woman who had watched as he was humiliated - locking lips with a boy.
The crowd was cheering because two of the most popular k**s in the local high school were making out, right there in front of Ben. He was frozen in place by shock. She looked so graceful as she arched her back, pulling him into her lips. Her hair had fallen to the side of her face as she moved her hips along with his.
“Yeah Alyssa!” a girl right next to Ben laughed.
Ben’s left ear rang and he stifled the urge to punch her in the face. He focused on the blond girl – Alyssa – and ran his memory, trying to think of whether he had seen the boy at the mall with her today.
The sounds around him were merging into white noise. He stared at them, his face expressionless. Time seemed to slow down. What felt like twenty minutes of staring could not have been more than a few seconds. Finally, Ben tore his gaze away, turned around, and pushed through the crowd.
He opened the bathroom door and slipped inside, turning the lock behind him. He stumbled to the toilet and knelt over it. Jealousy seared into his heart like molten lead, and he vomited into the bowl. After his stomach had calmed down, he settled against the wall, and let the tears roll down his cheeks.
Here he was, a twenty two year old at a high school party, d***k and crying because someone else had kissed the girl he wanted. He wasn’t fit to call himself a man. A surge of puke escaped his mouth again, and he leaned over the toilet just in time.
Ben felt four inches tall as he scurried out of the large house ten minutes later. He felt like everyone could see right through him. They all knew how pathetic he really was.
He rinsed his mouth with his drink, and the taste of vomit subsided. The fresh air outside was a welcoming feeling, and the relative quiet of the night helped clam his nerves.
He plopped down on the bench outside and let out a deep sigh. He rested his head back and closed his eyes. The night had been a complete fucking waste. He should have followed his instincts and stayed locked up in his room, safe from all the fuckers who roamed the world outside. Another audible sob escaped him. All that had been achieved was an affirmation on his views on the outside world. It was simply a nightmare for those like him. He had wept over a girl he didn’t even know, how could he possibly feel any good about himself? At that moment, he felt lower than snake shit on the ocean floor.
Ben sat in silence, eyes still closed, and drank his whiskey. A cool breeze blew by, and he smelled the fresh summer air. The half empty bottle spilled out of his limp hand as a haze descended over him. The summer night felt so beautiful. It was absolute heaven compared to the god-forsaken dance floor. He was vaguely aware of the puddle of whiskey forming around his right foot. Alyssa stood before him. The two looked at each other. Her mouth moved, but no sound came out. He was lifted off the ground and floated up towards the sky. He fell up into the deep night, as if gravity had decided to reverse itself.
Ben’s eyes snapped open as he regained his conscience. He panicked and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He was very relieved - and somewhat confused - to find that only ten minutes had passed since he had left the house.
At his feet his empty whiskey bottle lay on its side. Ben pulled a face as he shook booze off his sneaker sole. When he looked up across the pool, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
There was that same damn girl. The one who had eyed him the whole afternoon, and part of the early evening. She was leaning against a pillar of the house in what she must have thought was an attractive position, still with a cup in her hand, looking right at him.
Ben decided that enough was enough, that he would confront her. He stood up and slowly walked over to her. He nearly burst out laughing at her again. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he couldn’t just leave the stupid girl standing there.
He could see her eyes widen in anticipation as he approached her. She readjusted her position constantly until he stood right in front of her.
She was shorter than he had expected, and she looked utterly pathetic, looking up at him with so much hope in her eyes.
“Ya know, sweetie.” Ben mumbled. “I seen you watching me the whole time, and I’m telling ya-”
He stumbled backward, lost his footing, and landed flat on his ass. She jumped in surprise. Ben looked up at her and continued his speech.
“And I’m telling ya, you see those girls in there?” He nodded at the house. No response from her.
“Those are the kinds of girls I like.” His words were slurring. “Real women.”
The two were still for a moment. Then Ben said, “I’d fuck them, coz’, they’re hot… and you’re not.”
He broke into laughter at his own joke, rolling onto his side and resting his head on the pavement. He saw her make a move to help him up, but he waved her away. She waited a moment, then sat down next to him, legs crossed.
Long minutes of silence passed, Ben weaved in and out of sl**p. Visions of his mother came to him. Frequently they were replaced by thoughts of Alyssa, the other guy’s arm around her waist taunted Ben’s willpower.
When he came to, he realized that a hand was resting on his shoulder, and immediately shrugged it off. When he opened his eyes again he realized that the outside lights had been dimmed, and the girl was still sitting in front of him. The night air had brought a chilly wind down on them. It must be getting late. Ben looked at her painted little toes.
“How old are you?” He asked her quietly.
Her voice was soft, “Sixteen.”
His eyes roved over her legs and moved to her crotch. It was the first good look he had really taken at her body. She was definitely cute, but nothing more. Her legs were damn smooth, that was for sure. She had a very girlish quality about her, even for her age. Her denim shorts hugged her hips tightly and rode up high enough to cause a stirring in his pants.
He thought about the events of the night. It felt like it was days ago when he had thrown his temper tantrum over Alyssa. The girls who had called him out for staring at him seemed like a distant memory.
After a while, Ben sat up, and lifted himself to his feet. He swayed a bit but regained his footing. Wondering what time it was, he turned and walked towards the house.
He stopped for a moment and looked back at the girl sitting on the ground. Those big, brown, girlish eyes seemed to be waiting for him to say something. Might as well get something out of the night.
“Come.” He said to the girl. She jumped up and was hot on his heels.
The party was still raving inside the house, people were still dancing and messing around. To his delight, Ben spotted a liquor cabinet. He found it strange that it hadn’t been raided yet. He was very surprised to find it unlocked and stacked with booze.
He spotted an unopened bottle of whiskey. He grinned widely as he pulled it out, unscrewed the top, and took a bunch of long gulps.
“You know you shouldn’t do that.” A boy said off to Ben’s side.
“Shut the fuck up.”
He handed the bottle to the girl, who was still standing close to him.
She did, and coughed most of it up. When she looked at him, he indicated at the bottle impatiently, and she took another few f***ed sips.
Ben took the tipsy girl by the hand and dragged her up the stairs, nearly tripping more than once. There were people in the hallway, some sitting around with a beer, some making out. Ben plowed his way through the hall, attracting more than a few angry stares, but he couldn’t have cared less. When he came to the bathroom at the end of the hall, he roughly shouldered a k** out of the way, went into the bathroom pulling the girl with him, and locked the door. The door and walls were thick enough to dull the outside noise to a constant low hum, but not enough to block every sound going in or out.
He grabbed her and started kissing her deeply, wrapping his arms around her waist. She immediately responded by arching her lower back and pressing her hips to his. It had been years since Ben had actually touched a woman, and his rapidly expanding cock proved that. Within moments his penis was rock hard in his shorts, pressing into her belly. Her sixteen year old mouth tasted better than he expected. He pushed her away from him and started fumbling with the button on her tight little shorts.
“Wha… What are we gonna do?” She asked him.
“Don’t worry sweetie, I’ll make you feel real good,” He leaned into her, “I promise.”
He looked the young girl in the eye and put on his best smile. Her tone was more cautious and uncertain than he would have liked. The last fucking thing he needed right now was for her to bitch out and leave him hanging. But his sweet talk seemed to be working. She was shyly smiling and had her eyes averted to the side. Perfect, Ben thought.
Once he had wrestled her shorts and underwear off, he knelt in front of her for a moment to observe his hard won prize. Her legs were still closed and he could just see the beginning of her soft young pussy lips. The best part was the beautiful aroma that drifted from her sex. It had been way too long since he had had the pleasure of taking in the scent of a woman. He softly kissed her on the pubis, right above her vagina, took in a waft of heaven, then stood back up. He looked her in the eye, and gave her a tender kiss. He lifted her up to the sink and sat her down on the edge. His one hand held her cheek while the other moved down and touched the inside of her thigh. The girl shuddered as a shock went through her body. Ben kissed her again and at the same time lightly touched her pussy lips. Another wave went through her, and she snapped her legs shut around his hand. This is her first time, he thought, smiling to himself. This is going to be fucking awesome.
He stroked up and down her snatch as gently as possible, occasionally teasing the entrance with the tip of his middle finger. When he thought she was warmed up enough, he worked a finger inside, and a second followed. He allowed himself to savor the tight, wet love tunnel around his fingers, then he began sliding them in. She gasped and gripped him tight around the neck with both arms. He pulled his fingers out and lifted them to his own lips to enjoy her flavor for a few moments. He slid them back in and out a few more times, then brought his hand up to her mouth.
“Open.” He said.
She looked at him uncertainly, then back at his hand. She opened her mouth just a little and took the tip of one finger in. Ben slowly slid them into her mouth as he had with her pussy. When all the juices were off, he took his hand away and lifted her up off the counter again, this time placing her on her feet. He pushed her down to her knees and undid his shorts. She eagerly gripped the waist band and pulled down. Ben’s cocked jumped out and stood in its full glory. The girl’s eyes widened, and she looked up at Ben.
“Ever seen one like that?” Ben said.
She shook her head and swallowed hard.
“Put your hand on it.” He said, “That’s it. Good.”
Her soft little hand wrapped around his cock, she gently stroked it up and down. Ben took the back of her head and pulled it toward him. She opened her mouth just a little bit, and Ben pushed his dick in between her lips. It felt amazing.
“Ahhh. That’s it sweetie.”
He started moving her head back and forth on his dick, slipping in a little deeper every time. She closed her eyes and relished her first taste of cock.
After a few minutes Ben lifted her back up and handed her the bottle.
She took a few sips before gagging from the cheap alcohol and reached for the cup of water. He took her and pushed her to the toilet. He positioned her so that she was on her haunches, leaning back onto the toilet. He sat down in front of her, scooted in underneath her and held her hips with his hands. Her hot snatch was right above his pulsing dick when she asked, “Shouldn’t you wear a condom?”
Ben let out a laugh and pulled her onto him, lifting his hips off the ground at the same time. She let out a squeal when his tip penetrated her wetness. His dick only got so far until he had to lift her back up and settle her down on his cock again. Her eyes were closed and she had a grimace on her face. After the initial pain subsided she went down again, then again, until he was all the way inside her. He held her tight to him until she started quivering with need. He let her hips go and she started bouncing up and down on his cock. The silky smooth inside of her pussy gripped Ben tightly as they made love. Her juices were spilling onto his stomach and running down his sides. Teen pussy… he thought to himself, the only thing that can leak this much. They were both in heaven.
The thought seemed to come out of nowhere. Suddenly the image of his nightmares flashed before him. He clearly envisioned the all too familiar scenario of the grown man having sex with the young girl in the dark alley. Ben could clearly see his young mother’s face, eyes shut tight, biting her bottom lip. The man on top was a dark figure and he was slamming into her with a f***e, over and over, making her small body hit the wall with every thrust.
He pushed the girl off him and tried to shake the image from his mind. Ben closed his eyes and lay still for a moment, trying to regain his composure. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed the girl looking at him with that quizzical, almost hurt, look in her eyes. Ben ignored her. He stood up slowly and walked to the sink, she got up as well and followed him. He turned on the faucet and splashed some water onto his face, then leaned over the sink and looked at his reflection.
Was he becoming the man his father was? A useless, miserable d***k that slept with u******e girls? He thought about Alyssa. He thought about how she had not even acknowledge him, treating him like a pile of dirt. That all too familiar rage was building up inside him once again. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a huge gulp, pulling a sour face he swallowed the alcohol.
The girl was standing behind him, slightly to the left. She had been watching him intently all the while.
“Are you okay?” She asked softly, touching his arm.
Ben yanked his arm away. All these years of trying to be a better person had been a complete fucking waste. He had worried about being a more likable person, someone who could fit into the crowd, someone who was appreciated. He wanted a woman who he could love and take care of. Why did the girls always go for the douchebags? There was no place in the world for the fickle of heart, Ben decided. Everyone who has ever had the pleasure of success, of friendship, and of a beautiful woman, achieved their goals by fending for themselves, by lying, by pretending to be something they were not. Just like his own father. It was time he did the same. Being kind had only gotten him fucked and friend zoned thus far in his life. The nice guy always finishes last. Always.
Ben looked up at the reflection of the girl. She was still standing there, looking at his back. There was a slight frown on her face and tears were welling up in her eyes. He turned to her and gave her a deep, lustful kiss. This time there was no emotion in the kiss, just the venting of pure a****l instinct. Let’s give this girl something to cry about.
Ben spun her around and bent her over the counter. He moved up behind her and bent his knees slightly. He let his member rest between her satin soft ass cheeks and took a moment to savor the feeling. He spotted a bottle of lotion in the corner of the bathroom and reached over to grab it. After having applied a generous amount of cream to his penis, he tossed the bottle over his back. Ben repositioned himself and grabbed the girl by the shoulders. For the first time in what seemed like days, a small smile formed on his face. Like father, like son. He rammed his cock all the way up into her asshole.
The girl’s head jerked up as she let out a cry. Ben was sure everyone outside could hear them as he violated her ass, however, he couldn’t have cared less. Her anal canal was unbelievably tight, there was no way she didn’t feel any pain. He pulled out slowly, looked down at the beautiful view of his penis slipping out from in between her soft, white cheeks and slammed into her again, pulling her into him by her shoulders. She elicited another painful moan. Ben was in absolute ecstasy at the idea of having his penis buried to the hilt in a teen girl’s ass. He continued pumping in and out, lifting her off her feet a little every time he thrust into her. The girl’s moans started becoming more sensual, and he could see on her face that the pleasure of having his hard meat lodged up her ass was outsourcing the pain. He was closing in on an orgasm when he pulled out to catch his breath.
Ben took the bottle again and pressed it to the girl’s mouth, forcing more alcohol down her throat. She coughed and tried to pull away, but he held her jaw shut tight until whiskey started spilling out of her mouth. He grabbed her by the hair and f***ed her down to her knees in front of him, then stuck his dick in her face. She immediately took it in her mouth, bobbing her head up and down as she sucked his hard cock.
“That’s it baby,” Ben muttered. “Taste your own ass on my cock.”
She moaned and looked up at him. He still had a fistful of her hair tightly wound in his hand, and he pushed deeper into her small, wet mouth.
Her knees were splayed open, her hands reached around the back and spread her butt cheeks, and she slipped a finger into her bum hole. She made a high pitched “mhm, mhm” sound every time his dick slid to the back of her throat. A tingling started coursing through Ben’s penis and slowly spread throughout his body. It slowly built in intensity, like a rollercoaster nearing the peak. Then the orgasm hit him. Ben stiffened as jolt after jolt of pure, a****listic pleasure shot through him. Ropes of cum splashed into the girl’s mouth, filling her up and dripping from the corner of her lips. Still she kept sucking energetically, swallowing as much of his semen as she could. Ben eventually pushed her away when his orgasm had subsided.
“Holy shit,” he said. “Holy fucking shit.”
He looked down at the sixteen year old. She was still fingering herself and lapping up the last bits of cum that had dripped onto her body. Judging by her still vigorous pleasuring of her anus Ben figured he must have turned her into an anal whore within a matter of minutes.
He stumbled to the sink counter again, leaning on the edge with one elbow and holding onto the whiskey in his other hand. The combination of alcohol coursing through his veins and the post-orgasm feeling gave him a pleasant buzz. He thought about what he had just done. For the first time in his life he had interacted with a female without any emotion attached. He had fucked the teen without abandon and didn’t care one bit about it. Not caring. Was that the only reason he was always so miserable, because he cared? He laughed and took another swig from the bottle. Others who were happy in life didn’t seem to give a shit. He had seen it all throughout high school, and the idea had manifested itself so deeply in his subconscious mind. He was surprised that he had only realized it now. The less you care about others, the happier you are.
Ben glanced over at the girl. She was still on her the ground, stark naked, looking up at him through hazy eyes. He thought he saw a trickle of liquid running down the inside of her leg.
He walked over to her, gave her a slap on her flushed cheek, “Thanks bitch,” and turned away.
Ben made his way out of the bathroom, zipping up his shorts and putting his t-shirt back on as he left. It was four in the morning and there were k**s s**ttered around the hallway, they were mostly piss d***k and passed out. He looked back at the d***k girl in the bathroom. Her eyes were now closed. Her bladder must have let loose from all the booze, she was urinating on the floor. Still her teenage tits jiggled as she continued to masturbate like a bitch in heat. Ben felt a pang of pity for her. She was just another pathetic human being, just like him, taking up extra space in this hateful shit storm called life. It occurred to him that it was the one and only thing they would ever have in common: They were both nobodies.
Ben walked away, leaving the door open for the rest to see the girl, on her knees, fingering herself in a puddle of her own piss.