TMandrake's Blog
The Shocking Truth About Private Messages

Anywhere you go on the Internet, there's a mysterious place where two people and ONLY two people can have a conversation privately. This forbidden zone where many a friendship have blossomed into relationships, where relationships break friendships, and where ships sometime pass in the night are called...

PRIVATE MESSAGES = cue flash of lightning/clap of thunder/ominous music =

Many of these messages have never been before seen by human eyes - most prefer they stay hidden out of fear of reprisal, discovery, and humiliation. However, the truth must be told - it can no longer be withheld.

The following is an ACTUAL private message that I received. I reprint it only to show the entire world that I too have been guilty of replying to these messages and to expose the damaging, hard-hitting, scandalous oral bi-play that occurs during these messages.

DISCLAIMER: By reading the following, you hereby waive all claims of litigation, any and all damages to your computer screens, your psyches, your cute, furry pets, your fat cousin Norris who only visits at Christmas, your religious organization you belong to, or any other damage we haven't listed.

You've been warned... here it is:

USERNAME WITHHELD: hey baby want to talk

Me: About?

USERNAME WITHHELD: we can talk about any thing

Me: Okay - you start.

USERNAME WITHHELD: why me i'm a shy person plz go first

Me: Why did you decide to send me a PM?


Me: A private message - where we are talking now.

USERNAME WITHHELD: do u want to talk to me yes or no

Me: I am talking to you - we just haven't found something to talk about yet.

USERNAME WITHHELD: wat u want to talk talk tell me plz

Me: Of all the people you could have chosen, why did you send me a message that read "Hey baby want to talk?"

USERNAME WITHHELD: i do alot of boys like that but sim like u don't want to talk to me

Me: What were you hoping we would talk about?

USERNAME WITHHELD: i don't know asshole

Me: Thanks - you just gave me a great inspiration for a blog post.

USERNAME WITHHELD: okay wat the fuck ever baby

Friends, I implore you to spread this message far and wide. Let it be read in every hall, clip joint, computer cafe, and poker palace. May the words spoken here and now spread to show the damaging effects these private messages do.

Lesson to be learned: please, in the name of the porn gods Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley, when you send a private message to someone...


Posted by TMandrake 3 years ago
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1 month ago
#StandingFuckingOvation! Between jerks like this and the messages trying to get you to cam with them for a fee - this shit is annoying.
2 months ago
I love it!! Thanks :) In fact I have to share it. And in the future when some dumb ass does this, I'll point them to this blog...
1 year ago
1 year ago
Reading this, reminds on a very hot chat on a flirt page. It started out kind of how are you, what are you doing, what are you interested in. It was a nice chat, but I had to leave for doing something in the afternoon. Well getting back, having dinner... I was curious if she would be back online that night. She was and I had the best chat sex ever, ever... to much to write here the hole story ;)
1 year ago
By stroke of fate, a month later I am back here again, ready to affirm the honesty of this blog because it happens to me so often. Just wasted time with a welder who claimed to have a high school education but at age 45 wrote like a 2nd grader and honestly did not know any better, or that misuse of words in the English language make understanding by anyone else difficult. Twenty minutes later we stopped chat because we never found anything interesting to chat about. This should be the exception and not the rule, but sadly it's frequent.
2 years ago
So one must assume that many times when someone asks "Hey, Baby, want to talk?" that the real intent is "Hey, Baby, want to entertain me while I sit here jerking off and maybe peck back a few stupid words?"
You have to laugh and cut the village idiot off and cut your losses. It's just part of life, and worse online where freaks are drawn in herds.
2 years ago
This PM has happened to me many times. "Hey Baby, want to chat?" and then stumbling constantly. When I saw "Tell me about yourself" I get "Ask me a question" or "I'll tell you anything" and then I get nothing even if I ask. Whatever I ask the guy has never done and has nothing of interest to tell me. It's like talking to a duck and expecting intelligent conversation. All I get is "quack, quack!"
3 years ago
good 4 you,dont take no shit from no one
3 years ago
xa0ax0a0xa0x0a0xa0xa!!!! Owned!!
3 years ago
was that guy gay or just stupid
3 years ago
lol. I love this post. There should be more. It just goes to show that there are so many spammers and time wasters out there.
You should have reported the person for abuse, but then they only start up another profile and do it all over again! Great post! xx
3 years ago
What an interesting specimen... People can actually be that dumb? LOL
3 years ago
Haha That is priceless! Please tell me his username, I want to have a similer experience as you. This would keep me entertained for ages!!
3 years ago
you were very patient.....

What a pratt !
3 years ago
LOL - this cracks me up. You gave him so many chances and he ends up resorting to slander :P.
3 years ago
LoL so very true...and the ones that start out..
"Hey you want to cam" when it say's on my profile
that I don't do it.
Have had many a one's that make me spill my coffee also!!
3 years ago
ahhhh... the 'Classic' messages that one can never forget! for Your amusement, my favorite one to date:...

Message Received: 2:43 February 26, 200
From: [nick withheld], from Europe writes

Ohh You'll love this:

"i love hairy" sends an important msg, which is also on his profile [on another site] and i quote: "I love the chicken is very hairy"

this one, caused me to spill my coffee lmao!!

gawd love'em, he wants to befriend me. i've never had a friend into hairy chickens before. i admire his forth cumming of this tid bit up front, but can help but wonder... if he understands it would be a 'friends with limits' type of thing.
3 years ago
Succinct & very apt.
3 years ago
no shit!
3 years ago
well said! BRAVO!!
3 years ago
lol wtf
3 years ago
Well said! You were very patient with him/her! That individual was clearly into receiving only. Before I pm you or anyone, I will have a plan. Thanks for sharing.
3 years ago