It Is-written Episode 01
Jake sat under an oak tree on the mall, his windbreaker a telltale sign that Southern Januaries were a treat for him. A clear sky let the afternoon sun light his copy of "Euclid's Geometry". So engrossed was Jake in his tome, that he didn't notice Kim until she tapped him on his back. Jake nearly ejaculated from the surprise.
"That's the book you picked for our midterm assignment?" the vixen asked with a condescending smile.
Jake blushed at the criticism, although he did not know why. "Yes," he replied.
"I am writing about an anthology of works from Ionian philosophers. That book lends itself more to scholarly analysis. By studying a variety of authors, I can determine their influence on Classical Greek society with more certainty. You really should learn more about how research is done in the Social Sciences. Anyone who took Anthropology 101 would recognize your mistake."
"I didn't take Anthropology 101," Jake said in his defense, although he did not know why.
"Yeah. That doesn't surprise me. I know your type," Kim bragged.
"I don't know you," Jake retorted.
Kim thrust her hand forward for a handshake. "My name's Kim," she announced. "We are in the same Classics seminar. You sit way in the back ... in a corner ... huddled next to the wall farthest from the windows, hiding from the sun. What are you, a vampire?"
"No." Jake affirmed. He was hesitant to take Kim's hand, but he decided to anyway for the sake of civility.
"Well, you look Goth to me. Your clothes are so drab. What are you depressed about?"
"I'm not depressed," Jake informed her.
"Men!" Kim complained. "You have so little emotional intelligence that you don't even know your own emotions. It's because the patriarchal system brainwashed you to be that way. My Women's Studies professor explained that to me."
"What class does he teach?" Jake inquired.
Kim emphasized the subject of her response, "She teaches Women's Studies 101, you sexist pig. Not everyone is a man, you know. Jesus Christ! Who ever heard of a male Women's Studies professor? Didn't your mother teach you how to talk to a lady?"
At this point, a spark of anger burned in Jake's chest, and rightfully so. He tried to handle the unfamiliar emotion as best he could. "I would rather if you did not mention my relatives."
"Your grammar sucks too if you can't keep the singular and plural forms straight," Kim chuckled.
"You should leave now," Jake informed the woman.
She looked at him a bit confused and switched strategies. "Sorry to bring your mom into this. I was only joking. Can I buy you a drink as a peace offering."
"No," Jake declined the beverage.
Unpleasantly surprised that she might spend the night alone, Kim tried to sweeten the deal. "Look, I meant no offense. Forget what I said. Let's pick up a bottle and bring it to my dorm room. My roommates will be at a party all night. We'll have plenty of privacy."
"That won't be necessary. I hold you guiltless for your words," Jake assured her.
"Then why don't you want to fuck me?"
"Because I would rather read geometry," Jake explained.
"Fuck you!" Kim shouted with exasperation. "You wasted my time pretending to like me when you had no intention of getting me in bed!? That was entirely pointless."
"Not entirely," Jake concluded. "At least I know you now."