Samantha's Blog
Why Is Bondage Fun

Lots of reasons. For many people, the knowledge that they are helpless,
that someone else can do things with their body and they can't prevent
them, is a powerful turn-on. "I'm going to make you come and there's
nothing you can do about it." It's a very strong statement of trust to let
someone bind you helplessly, or even non-helplessly. How erotic, to feel
yourself spread open, wanton and wet, and to see your lover kneeling
between your legs, ready to use you for their pleasure--or to pleasure you
unendurably....

For others, the simple sensation of bondage feels good. Tight constriction
can create very intense stimulation, and lots of tight bondage can be a
sensory trip, just as a whipping scene can be. Bondage can feel comforting,
pleasantly confining; you don't need to worry about anything, since what
can you do? You're all tied up, and all that's left is to enjoy.

For yet others, it's a charge to struggle, to let your body lose control.
It can really intensify an orgasm when you come with every muscle straining
against your bonds, trying to get your hands free to smash your lover's
face into your crotch, your body shaking. If you weren't tied down you'd
hurt yourself!

For me, it's all three of these reasons :-)

An especially intense form of bondage is verbal bondage: putting your
bottom in some position (spread-eagled, kneeling, whatever) and commanding
them not to move... and then tormenting them! One kinky variation on this
is as follows: have your bottom hold their hands out in front of them,
fingers splayed, each fingertip touching the opposite fingertip. Put a
penny between each pair of fingertips so they're holding five pennies. Now
order them not to let a single one drop, on pain of some punishment or
other, and then go to work! This works best on a hard floor so you can hear
the coin drop.

There are a bunch of common-sense things to know about if you want to get
into bondage. Most of these are pretty obvious, but they're stated here
because that's what a FAQ's for! The basic idea, though, is to experiment.
The first few times you won't really know what you're doing, and that's
fine! Take your time trying different positions, different kinds of rope,
whatever. And if you've got a new idea that you want to try out before your
big date... well, why not try it on yourself? If you can get into a
position comfortably, you can probably make your bottom comfortable in that
position!

Make sure your bottom's extremities don't start getting cold or turning
blue; those are both sure signs that bl**d isn't flowing the way it ought
to, and that isn't what you want to have happen. If your bottom's hands are
bound inside mittens or some other place that's not accessible to you, ask
them to wiggle their fingers or toes or whatever and see if they're losing
any feeling. It can be tricky to tie someone up without making it too
tight; in general, a good rule is to tie loosely with lots of turns of
rope. You can tighten such a tie with just another turn around all the
rest, and it can be a real drag to have a bottom's foot fall asl**p in the
middle of a scene; this kind of thing can feel very annoying and
distracting, and can make it hard for your bottom to concentrate on what
you are making them feel.

Silk scarves, bandannas, etc. also have this problem with tightening under
tension; sometimes they get so tight they have to be cut off. If you're a
novice, you may want to avoid these hassles by purchasing a pair of basic
ankle and wrist cuffs (in leather, velcro, or whatever) at an adult toy
store; and if you get embarrassed, remember the old standby excuse: "It's a
gag wedding gift!"

Handcuffs are sexy, but they can also be a pain. Shoddy cuffs (the kind you
buy at the sporting goods store) are liable to break while being worn--then
you have to file them off. If you want to play with handcuffs, get a good
quality pair; the usual brand is Peerless, and they'll cost about $30, with
a double lock so you can snap them on and then lock them so they won't get
tighter under pressure (as cheap cuffs will). Handcuffs are also bare
metal, and aren't good to struggle against, as they can easily pinch
nerves... padded, buckling bondage cuffs are better for those sorts of
games.

Do not leave a bound person alone. Though it is a hot fantasy to tie
someone up in some precarious position (possibly with vibrators or other
devices buzzing away) and leave them to stew, in reality you must consider:
what if the house is burgled? catches on fire? earthquake? any sort of
emergency? Fun is fun, but a helpless person is just that: helpless. A
willing partner is too precious to take risks with.

Be very careful about tying anything around the neck; anything that puts
any pressure AT ALL on the front of the neck can lead to u*********sness
quickly, as the carotid arteries go right to the brain. Likewise be careful
with gags or things tied in the mouth; as well as restricting breathing,
they can trigger a gag reflex, which could be really nasty if the bottom
can't get the gag out. See another question on safewords for use while
gagged.

Also, be aware that if someone is standing for any length of time in any
sort of tight bondage, it can lead to less circulation to their head; if
you suddenly do something intense to that person, it may trigger a headrush
which could easily result in a faint. Always use hooks which can be
released instantly even with the bottom's full weight on them (these are
sometimes called "panic snaps" and can be found in good hardware stores),
and keep a pair of bandage scissors handy in case ropes or straps need to
be cut loose.

Be careful what you tie your bottom to; if an exposed water pipe is handy,
be aware it may heat up. Likewise with candles; be careful when you're
waving flame around someone who's bound, as they can't flinch the way
unbound people can.

If you don't have anything handy to tie someone to, you can always tie
their wrists behind their back and then to their waist. Or if your bed
doesn't have any posts, you can wrap ropes around the legs of the bed and
spread-eagle your bottom that way. In general, there are a million ways to
tie someone up, and a little practice--on your bottom or on yourself!--will
let you improvise in almost any situation.

Below I list a few sorts of common bondage devices mentioned here in
stories and postings. If you read a term here which you don't understand,
write me and I'll add a description.

Mummification or Cocooning: About the most complete form of bondage is to
wrap someone up so they are completely immobile. The most popular way to
mummify someone is with plastic wrap. A common technique is to wrap each
limb separately, then wrap the arms to the sides, and then wrap the legs
together--and then help the bottom lie down on an adjacent soft
surface. You can then cut holes (carefully!) to access any especially
sensitive areas, or wrap duct tape over it all for extra security, or add
gags, blindfolds, etc. One way the body releases heat is by sweating, and
while mummified you can't sweat too much, so make sure your bottom doesn't
overheat--and have a blanket ready to cover them with when you cut them out
of their cocoon, using the bandage scissors (obtainable from medical supply
stores--one flat blade makes cutting easier) which you of course have ready
to hand. And as always, monitor your bottom very carefully; they are
helpless, and your neglect or inattention could spell disaster.

Hoods: Many leather stores and artisans make bondage hoods. These are
typically constricted of leather or rubber. Some have simple zippers, and
you zip them up to secure them. Others have laces on the back and/ or the
sides, to enable the hood to be laced more tightly, for greater bondage
effect. Some hoods have eye holes, some don't. Some hoods have mouth holes,
some don't. Some deluxe hoods have built-in earmuffs or even space for
earphones, for sensory deprivation. Almost all hoods have nose holes, for
obvious reasons. Hoods can restrict a bottom's breathing quite seriously,
and tops must remain continually aware of their bottom's condition while
their bottom is wearing a hood--especially if the hood is combined with any
form of gag. Do not leave a hooded bottom alone; breathing difficulty can
come on quickly. Some people believe that any hood without a zipper or
other extra-quick-release mechanism is too dangerous to use on a bottom. In
any case, you should have some bandage scissors at the ready if the hood
needs to be removed in a big hurry.

Bodybags: If you like being bound, the ultimate extreme is bondage which
encompasses your entire body, leaving you with no motion whatever. Bondage
bodybags (or "sl**psacks") resemble a well-tailored, snug sl**ping bag,
often made out of leather or spandex. Spandex bodybags are the least
expensive, and if made from heavy enough spandex can be very restrictive
indeed. Often bodybags have an opening at the upper end, through which you
slide your feet, pulling the bag up to your neck. Many have other openings
for genitals or nipples, so your botttom can be pleasured or tortured while
immobile. Leather bodybags can be arbitrarily complex (and expensive); some
have built-in internal arm sleeves to further minimize motion, or
suspension straps so the bag, bottom and all, can be lifted into the
air. Some have laces around the outside so the bag can be cinched to a
downright painful tightness. If you REALLY have money to burn, you can even
get inflatable rubber bodybags--get in it and pump it up, and float away!
Caveats about breathing and quick-release apply here as well.

Hobble skirts: Fetish clothing is often designed not just to look good and
feel good, but to act almost as bondage in its own right. Hobble skirts are
a perfect example: they are simply skirts which fit very snugly from waist
down to ankles. Often the wearer can take steps of only a few inches while
wearing the skirt (thus the term "hobble skirt"). When combined with a pair
of high heels, these skirts can be almost totally immobilizing, even
without any other bondage. Leather or rubber are (again) the typical
materials, though some dedicated tailors make their own from velvet or
satin or other sensuous materials.

Armbinders: Restraints, typically leather, that bind both arms behind the
back. Some resemble large gloves that pull up over both arms and buckle
around the shoulders. Others are straps that go down the middle of the back
and have attached wrist cuffs. In general, there are lots of kinds of
bondage gear, and you can even invent your own....
Posted by Samantha 4 years ago
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3 years ago
Thanks for sharing very good ideas!
KrissyMor...
retired
4 years ago
Great post! I love 'hobble skirts' and heels. I also love forms of 'oral bondage' such as open mouth gags. I find it totally exciting to be vulnerable to giving head on demand. -kris