The following tells the story of how we entered into a cuckold relationship. It is written in a series of blogs and e-mails that I had Jim draft so that I could e-mail it to our more open-minded friends. Being open about our relationship was the hardest part for Jim.
Hope you enjoy and please feel free to ask any questions:
Jim requested I send you all the following email he has written after a pretty unusual change in our relationship. I told him to write the email and I would send it out to whomever he chose..... keep in mind the following email is not safe to read at work - and it's looooooooong!
Most of you can choose to keep the information to yourself or share with others as you see fit - for those that have a work relationship with Jim, I would ask the favor that you keep it confidential... you know who the office gossips are - please keep the email from them.
We would appreciate a response of some sort - whether it be "whatever works for you guys" or " omg, never remind me of this again" or even "you've inspired me" what*ever* - just so we know you received and did end up reading this - Jim put a lot of thought and heart into this message.
Take care all!
Thank you for last night/this morning. :-) You are amazing and beautiful and make me happier than I ever imagined I could be. I am a lucky man and love you with all my heart and have never felt closer to anyone. You know all my secrets and all my fantasies and things about me that I have never told another soul and it doesn't shock you nor do you judge me. I know on the surface we appear to be from two different backgrounds and almost polar opposites, but we are more alike than anyone realizes. I never used to believe that there was one perfect person out there for me, but it is true and I have found her. You know I am not religious but I do believe in fate and, looking back at how we met and all the hardships we made it through to be together today, and you have to believe that "we" were meant to be together.
Now, as you requested early this morning, or would that be commanded? lol Anyway, I posted the blog already and this is the e-mail you wanted sent to you explaining our new relationship, how it benefits us, and how it has brought us even closer. If it appears familiar, it is because I basically modified my blogs for this e-mail (taking out the juicier details!). I also understand that you will keep it and forward it to whomever you feel is appropriate to see, in my own words, how we arrived at this point and how natural it is to us and how much happier we both are now.
I told Mike a bit earlier this afternoon that I had been worried about our relationship and marriage due in large part to the lack of intimacy we have had and the stupid petty arguments over the day to day inconsequentials. Not that we were anywhere close to divorce or even in the same ballpark, zip code, city, or state, but something needed to be done to be pro-active before we drifted apart. This idea may not work for everyone, but it sure works for us!
Now to the blogs. This is the first one:
A little background information first: Both Lauren and I had a lot of sexual partners before we met one another. I cant speak for her, but I once counted up to 100 before losing track. I had asked Lauren to be monogamous, and we both were while we dated. We were on the verge of breaking up when she discovered she was pregnant. She was prepared and willing to let me walk out the door and raise the baby by herself but no way was that happening. We agreed to break up but both be involved in the baby's life and in the pregnancy and we did and we were.
We got a long pretty well during this period BUT, there were many occasions when Lauren treated me like shit and seemed to go out of her way to do so. I was dating this 21 year old from Sacramento that I had met online, and, unfortunately for Amber (I know a 21 year old named Amber, pretty sad on my part! I wonder if I could get a 21 year old now? lol). Anyway, with Lauren being a bitch to me, I took it out on Amber, and she was very sweet and didn't deserve the things I did, some of which were pretty mean and twisted. But that is a subject for another blog.
One of the many things Lauren and I would fight about was her driving fifty or so miles one way to go pick up a friend of hers ("V") and lug him around (he didn't have a car) to run errands when she was pregnant and working 12 hour shifts. Now, I am not stupid, and wondered at times if she wasn't fucking him but tried to put that out of my mind as not being any of my business since we weren't dating.
Fast forward, the baby is born and we effectively live together the first two months of her life as we get used to being parents. One morning as the three of us lay together in bed cooing at the baby and each other, as new parents do, Lauren looks at me and asks, Why aren't we married again? Four days later, we were.
With both of us working, f****y issues, and a new baby, things weren't always rosy but we were pretty happy and soon came a second pregnancy. At that point, sex with Lauren stopped. She claimed that it was hormonal and she lost any sex drive and all and I pushed her a few times but no sex.
Finally, our son was born, and she had time to heal up and get better and we fooled around some but not often. Keep in mind, we fucked like rabbits when dating and had both had very healthy sexual appetites our entire sexual lives.
One day Lauren calls me in tears and says we need to talk about something when I get home, and she hopes it doesnt hurt me or us. Turns out, she had been banging "V" the whole time she was pregnant the first time and had even made out with him a bit after we were first married (she swears nothing more happened). In addition, when pregnant the first time, I flew Lauren out to San Fran to see a girlfriend of hers from high school and she ended up fucking her friend's husband while out there and pregnant with our baby.
We talked a long time about a lot of things and she assured me she never cheated while we were married or were dating. While a bit sad, what could I say, I love Lauren and we have two k**s together and we weren't a couple when it happened. I mean it is fucked up and semi Jerry Springerish but it wasn't like I was being an angel when we were broken up either.
The only thing that did eat at me was that two different men had been inside Lauren, my wife, while she was pregnant with our daughter, and a lot of Lauren's friends knew. I had gotten her pregnant twice now and never been inside her once while pregnant. I mean, its a bit humiliating isnt it? My baby inside her and two other men took her and came inside her and she had denied me sex during both pregnancies now. In addition, and in another conversation, I found out she had had anal sex before and she had never let me inside there either. So here I am, married to a naughty reformed slut, who now had a low sex drive and, had totally emasculated me when pregnant with our first c***d.
Now it starts getting twisted on my part. Probably because I have a submissive, kinky streak, combined with lack of sex with Lauren, the idea of her being with these two guys started turning me on more and more and made me think about her being with other men. I figured there was no chance because Lauren's sex drive was so low. She went to doctors and tried medications and tests but nothing seemed to help. I should stop and let you know that she did have sex with me on numerous occasions, but, by and large, it was tame and very vanilla. I wanted the sex we had when dating that was loud and wild and uninhibited. To be honest, I felt like to an extent she was just doing it because I wanted sex, and she wasn't into it much at all. I could seem to get her going a bit by going down on her, which was ok by me because that always turned me on and she liked being a voyeur so she would watch me stroke so that was our sex life and basically where I saw it staying.
Monday April 17, we sat and talked openly and honestly about our sex lives in detail and in some aspects for the first time.. She felt guilty for treating me bad when were broken up and being with othr guys and said the guilt was why she couldn't stand the thought of us having sex while she was pregnant with Simon. She finally had to tell me the truth because it was eating her up inside, but she was afraid the truth would kill our relationship. I assured her that I loved her more than anything in this world, and she interrupted and said after the k**s, and she was right. As parents you do have to put the k**s ahead of yourself to a degree, but we had to find a way to get more "us" time. I then brought up the fact that the idea of her being with other men really turned me on as long as she was safe and protected and all that. She told me she had never been monogamous in a relationship before me before but had been for me, but she loved the idea as long as it didn't hurt our relationship. She was getting so aroused and had that old bad girl gleam back in her eyes. We then proceeded to do things to each other with out me ever penetrating her, at least with my genitals! This went on all night long. It was then decided that she would start looking for studs with the hopes of finding a regular boytoy on the side. I was also to help with the search.
April 19, our wedding anniversary, arrived and Lauren and I had found four local candidates for her to hook up with. Now I love Lauren dearly and with all my heart, but, that morning, it occurred to me that it was completely appropriate that we start our new life on our wedding anniversary. We would get the first notch in her bedpost, and get the whole awkward first time out of the way with the added humiliation for me of my sweet wife being with another man on our wedding anniversary and with me at home putting the k**s to sl**p.
Lauren was still asl**p when I left for work. Once there, I messaged her with my idea. She wrote back that she loved the idea but wasn't sure that we could find someone to meet that night. I posted a few bulletins looking for a playmate for Lauren and explained all the details. We ended up with two guys who were available that night.
I got home from work and changed while Lauren posted a bulletin basically asking that any guy that was interested to call her cell phone since we would be out. We then packed up the k**s and headed to Cheeseburger in Paradise for dinner (I know, not romantic but we had the k**s!). When she wasn't flirting with our cute waiter, Lauren was making a big point of telling me all of her girlfriends who now knew that I wasn't allowed inside her for now but she was allowed to play with any man she wanted and that is was all my idea! She even got a call from one friend (Denise) while at dinner. She told Denise she had big news but would have to call back when she could talk (without k**s being there. Lauren didn't care if the people at the next table knew about our new relationship!) On the way home from dinner, Lauren noted that it didn't look like any guys were going to call tonight.
We get home and Lauren gets on the computer. I had the k**s in the front room with me and we were talking to my Mom on the phone. I hear Lauren on her cell phone and figured it was Denise or a Slumber Party call.
Lauren comes in grinning big and says she is going upstairs to clean up and go out. I ask where and she said "shopping". I got off the phone and I went upstairs to see what the scoop was. Lauren was still grinning and told me that one of the candidates for the night (Bruce) literally had sent her an instant message asking if it were too late to meet as soon as she sat down at the computer. They chatted and he called her and they had decided to meet outside the adult toy store over by Fort Meade . Lauren told me that at a minimum she was going to make out with him and see where it went. She also told me that she had three condoms with her. I walked her to the door and we kissed and she left. I looked at the clock and it was 9:15 PM, on our fourth wedding anniversary.
I got the k**s to bed, cracked open a beer and messed around on the computer for a while. Turned on the tv and went up and down the dial twice but nothing was on. I couldn't concentrate. Just kept wondering what is happening now? I knew the toy store would be closed by now for sure, if it had even been open when she got there at 9:30. A big part of me was turned on and another part was telling me to grab the phone and call her cell and stop this before anything happens. Then I would think it probably already has happened and they could be on the second or third time by now. A million other thoughts crossed my mind but mostly I felt helpless, aroused, and terrified that our relationship was changing forever and no way to ever go back once it happens.
Just then, the phone rings and it is Lauren calling. I look at the clock and it is a little before 11:00. Roughly 90 minutes. Is that long enough to meet, make small talk, kiss, get a room, foreplay, fuck, clean up and get home? The phone rings a second time, and I am positive that she is calling to say she is on the way home and nothing happened. I am all set to tell her that is fine and maybe we rushed and should go slower and just explore this amongst ourselves with toys and dirty talk. Bring another lover in later if it seems right. The phone rings a third time and I pick up.
Lauren isnt on her way home. They have been up in Baltimore at a sex toy shop shopping. They are on the way to a Motel 6 near BWI airport and she wants me to make a reservation and pay for the room. I now realize, it hasn't happened but will in a few short minutes. I am already online so find the hotel website and verify the address. Lauren hangs up and I make the reservation online.
Five minutes later she calls back. I am thinking again, ok she changed her mind but nope. She wanted to verify whose name I used on the reservation. I used hers. She told me to go to bed and she would wake me when she got home.
My mind was racing. I logged off the computer and went into the couch. I turned on the tv but no way I could concentrate. Should I call her and stop it now? Would she pick up? If she did would she say go to bed and don't call again? While all these thoughts were racing through my brain, I noticed that I had a huge erection, or as big as my erection gets! To be brief and polite, I took care of the erection problem the best way I knew, and I don't mean a cold shower! The whole time, I was thinking of what was going on in that hotel room just a few miles away. I got cleaned up and then went to bed.
Two hours later, I wake up to Lauren over me and she whispers for me to come downstairs. The first thing I notice are the two "love bites" that Bruce left on her neck for me to see. Lauren gave me all the details and was smiling big the whole time and seemed like the old Lauren I first met and fell in love with. We then fooled around a bit but again without me penetrating her. She was really starting to enjoy denying me, and so was I.
In case you forgot, I am Lauren's cuckold, at MY request. This means that she can literally have sex with anyone, male or female, she wants as long as she is safe and I am aware of the basics and get all the details when she gets home. Although she did mention last night that she is anxious to look me in the eye as another man takes her right in front of me. I would be lying if I said that did not drive me insane!
I want to be clear that we love each other dearly and trust each other completely and are doing this to add spark to our relationship, which it has. If either of us ever want to stop, it stops. We have also discussed possibly having me join in with another woman, but at this point Lauren is only comfortable with the idea of me using my mouth and tongue only. I want to add one other thing. Lauren is aware that I really get worked up and aroused in humiliating situations and feeling helpless and she knows that I was feeling overwhelmed with making all the decisions at work and home and bills and all. This has allowed me to release total control over the sexual part of our life.
Both Lauren and I had a lot and I do mean a lot of partners before we met and while monogamy is awesome for the majority of people, it was stifling and killing our relationship. We did the whole marriage counseling thing and tried the "happy pills" that you can get from the local pharmacy and nothing worked.
Since this all started on April 19, we have been hugging and kissing and touching and yes even had sex, although I didn't last long since I hadn't been inside her forever. We haven't had a single stupid or silly argument and I have never felt more in love with her. I literally think about her all day long and call her up just to tell her I love her.
She agreed to the cuckolding because she does want to have sex with others. Notice I said SEX. It is not love making it is filling a strong physiological need to have a lot of sex. However, the sex is on her terms, when she wants and with whom she wants. She enjoys denying me orgasm and penetration of her but she still wants to have me inside her on her terms. It is fair to me because, she is not as much into the whole humiliation of me as I am but does it and posts embarrassing things about knowing it is a total mind fuck for me.
We are not the Cleavers but it works for us so please no comments about how this is wrong or we are sick or need to find God, etc. If you feel the need to get all judgmental and Jesus freaky on us, remember "Judge not lest ye be judged" or the "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." No Ten Commandment crap either. I respect your beliefs so please respect ours. End of rant!
There you have it. I did leave the juicier details out but we aren't shy and can share them if you want. ;-) I hope whoever is reading this understands that we are happier and more in love than we have ever been.
I love you baby!