I was blue and lonely,
I couldn’t sl**p a wink
And I could only get unconscious
If I’d had to much to drink

There was somehow, something wrong somewhere,
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation
Were growing in my head

I needed inspiration,
A brand new start in life,
Somewhere to place affection,
But I didn’t want a wife

And then by lucky chance I saw
In a special magazine
An ad that was unusual,
The like I’d never seen,

’experience something different
With our new imported toy,
She’s loving, warm, inflatible
And a guarantee of joy

She came all wrapped in cardboard,
All pink and shrivelled down
A breath of air was all she needed
To make her lose that frown
I took her to the bedroom
And pumped her with some life,
And later in a moment
That girl became my wife

And so I sit her in the corner
And sometimes stroke her hair
And when I’m feeling naughty
I blow her up with air

She’s cuddly and she’s bouncy,
She’s like a rubber ball,
I bounce her in the kitchen
And I bounce her in the hall

And now my life is different
Since sally came my way
I wake up in the morning
And have her on a tray

She’s everything they say she was
And I wear a permanent grin,
And I only have to worry
In case my girl wears thin

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