The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered photo frame, picture of just-married couple.
Attractive woman with short hair and unnaturally-sized tits lays in bed. Her name is Audrey. Zoom-in on face. It's completely devoid of any facial expression. Tears are coming from the center of her eyes, literally frozen on her vapid face.
The woman walks across the room. It is obvious that her over-sized tits makes it difficult for her to walk.
She looks out over the balcony outside her room, with what seems to be a slight smile on her face, in stark contrast to the music.

"When I got married, it was the happiest day of my life."
Flashback to wedding in a cathedral. The bride and groom stand before the priest, the groom's arm around the bride's waist. Oddly, the priest seems to be speaking in tongues, babbling incoherently. He's clearly possessed by the devil.
Oblivious to the crazed priest, the beautiful bride and groom exchange their vows. The groom pretends to slip a ring onto her finger. Even though John's too cheap to have gotten a ring, Audrey couldn't be happier. They kiss passionately.
The priest, who apparently exorcised his demon while the newly-weds were distracted, nods his encouragement. He seems to be enjoying watching them kiss a little too much.
Audrey and the groom end their embrace and stare at the priest in mild horror, shocked at his perversion.

"I thought it would last forever."
The picture of their wedding photo is placed on the dresser in their room. Time passes. Suddenly, the photo shatters.
"But it didn't."
The flashback over, Audrey is back in bed once more, vacant eyes staring at the ceiling. Her tears defy physics as the drip straight down her face, as if she was standing up.
"The years went by, but I never suspected anything.
Now she's thinking of an office building. It is very austere in its plainness. Looking out, you can see the sun as it slowly twitches by.
"Until one day..."
It's her husband's office. The camera pans to his face. John is either having an orgasm or a seizure. But as the camera zooms out, his condition becomes clear: an unfamiliar woman is giving him oral. Her head slowly bobs up and down on his manhood.
Audrey, making a surprise visit to him at work, walks in on the scene.

"Four weeks later, we were divorced."
Audrey is back in bed. She's positioned on her back as if she was being penetrated by an invisible man, missionary style.
"Still, the first months after the separation were devastating."
Another flashback, this one to her being humped awkwardly but a man. He is clearly inexperienced when it comes to sex.
"But I still had my needs, and entered into an affair with a colleague of John."
The camera pulls in for a sex scene. It becomes apparent that the man wasn't awkwardly humping Audrey. She was awkwardly riding on him. Their skin glistens as if they had bathed themselves in lubricant. His cock is large and thick, just what Audrey needs for her loose pussy, permanently stretched from that "accident" she had when she was 15.
Finished, they lay on the floor in satisfied exhaustion.
"After one very intense summer, he broke it off--he was afraid he wife would find out."
Out of bed again, Audrey paces in her room, swaying as her large breasts try to throw her off balance.

"So I was alone, but more horny than before."
Another change of scenery--sunshine, palm trees, Audrey is at the beach.
"But though I wasn't 20 anymore, I knew the effect I still had on men."
Men at the beach turn their heads to stare longingly at Audrey as she stumbles by like a transvestite hooker working the streets for the first time in heels and a stuffed bra. She's wearing a bikini top and a G-string that would make mothers cover their c***dren's eyes. She strolls past the men, apparently intent on walking into the wall of jagged rocks at the end of the beach.

"And this night, I wanted to get laid."
Audrey is back on the balcony again, looking out onto an improbable forest of palm trees.
The sun sets, and she is showering now. She lets the water stream down between her udder-like breasts. Her hand finds her needy pussy and she begins to finger herself in slow motion. The music is in full power ballad-mode at this point. Afterwards, Audrey spends a brief moment sitting on her bed, trying to remember if she got bagels on her last trip to the grocery store. She then gets dressed.
Things get a little surreal as she stands half-dressed, arms outstretched with a patient expression on her face, as if she's waiting for some unseen f***e to finish the simple task for her.
She is fully clothed in the simple black dress now, with no explanation for the previous paragraph. Grunting with effort, she shoves her feet into black high heels a size too small.
She stands up, looking around for anything she might need before she goes out. She pats her fat ass proudly, which spills out from under her very short skirt. To finish her outfit, she puts in a single gold hoop earring, a gold bracelet, and a necklace with a cross. After all, she may be preparing to fuck her brains out with a stranger tonight, but she wants any potential men to know she's a good Christian woman, wink wink.
Rather than put on any make-up, Audrey looks into a mirror, holding a screwdriver to her left eye for several seconds, as if daring herself to do it this time.

Audrey spends some time driving around a city straight out of a Grand Theft Auto game, badass-looking thugs walking the streets. Audrey gets out of her car for another brief walking scene.
Suddenly, a wild beard appears! She's in a club now, being eyed by a Canadian lumberjack and a man who used and entire tub of gel to style his hair.


[I'm going to stop this story here, for now. I've only covered the first five minutes and fifteen seconds of this 39 minute movie, if you can believe it. Comments welcome!]





48% (8/8)
 
Posted by Haseo89
2 years ago    Views: 478
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2 years ago
FTW88, this is a satirical screenplay based off a terrible CGI video. If you watch the video and read this "story" as an accompaniment, you might understand my mastery.
2 years ago
fuckin douchebag Haseo89 beats his dick to cartoon porn and wants to bitch about prolapsed assholes. lol sorry xhamster aint tha fuckin disney channel Haseo89. go fuck with some anime porn tube sites cuz obviously we dont have enough cartoons to keep ur interest.
2 years ago
this is a perfect example of a bottom of the barrel upload.
2 years ago
haha Haseo89 ur fuckin garbage and so is this video game porn shit ya watch. fuckin retarded story from start to fuckin finish. oh wait.. ya didnt finish. GARBAGE.
2 years ago
Can someone moderate this? It's been 24 hours, I have editing to do! Wait, I can't edit stories? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU