Understanding the G-SPOT and Female Sexuality ...

Understanding the
G-SPOT
and Female Sexuality
A 10-Step Guide
for Unleashing the Ultimate in Female Ecstasy
by Donald L. Hicks
Understanding the G-Spot and Female Sexuality:
A 10-Step Guide for Unleashing the Ultimate in Female Ecstasy
Copyright © 2001, Donald L. Hicks
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written
permission from the author.
Cover Photo: SuperStock Inc.
Universal Publishers / uPUBLISH.com
USA / 2001
www.upublish.com/books/hicks.htm
ISBN: 1-58112-657-3 paperback
ISBN: 1-58112-655-7 ebook
Material in this book is for educational purposes only. This
book is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the
publisher is engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment,
medical, or any other professional service.
The G-Spot techniques described in this guide are designed to
help individuals and couples heighten their sexual pleasure and
emotional well-being. Absolutely no part of the program should
cause pain or unusual symptoms. Should such arise during or
after G-Spot stimulation, the affected party is advised to seek
medical evaluation to identify possible causes. No part of this
book should be used as means of self-treatment or as a viable
substitute to or for medical evaluation by a physician. Any use
of the techniques used in this book are at your own risk.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1– Learning the Basics 7
Does the G-Spot Exist? 7
What’s the big deal about G-Spot orgasms, anyway? 9
The Dire truth about conventional orgasms 11
The 92% Factor 14
Why Does the G-Spot Exist? 16
A Side Order to Go, Please 17
Blended Orgasms - A Recipe for Higher Ecstasy 20
To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm? 22
Intimacy: 101 24
The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation 25
Some Healthy Considerations 32
A Brief History of the G-Spot 34
Chapter 2– The Technique 37
Let’s get started! 37
Step 1: Priming 39
Step 2: Foreplay 40
Step 3: More Foreplay 41
Step 4: Teasing 43
Step 5: The “Go Ahead” Sign 45
Step 6: Hovering 46
Step 7: Locating her G-Spot 49
Step 8: Stimulating the G-Spot 52
Step 9: The “Big-O” Draws Near 55
Step 10: You’re There! 57
Chapter 3– Afterwards 59
The Little Death 59
Sharing the Experience 60
Chapter 4– Self-Application 62
Chapter 5– Exploring Other Possibilities 64
Chapter 6– Problem Shooting 67
Pain or Discomfort 67
Inability to Reach Orgasm 68
The Urge to Urinate 69
Orgasm Anxiety 70
He Said / She Said 71
The Emotional Aspect 73
Chapter 7– Tips From Experienced Users 75
Chapter 8– An Informative Interview
with a Renowned Sex Researcher 80
Chapter 9– Case Studies & Worksheets 88
Female Responses 88
Male Responses 97
Chapter 10– The Ending Climax 104
Voluntary Questionnaire 105
Part 1 106
Part 2 108
Resources for Further Research 112
Reading Materials 112
Web Sites 113
Key Words Glossary 114
About the Author 118
Materials Used in Preparing This Guide 119
Bibliography 119
Endnotes 120
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Arleta, the one person who encouraged
me to write. The wife who never complained about the trough I
wore in the floor while pacing restlessly back and forth, searching
for that elusive word or angle. The woman who never laughed at
the bald spots worn above either ear from scratching my head in
thought. The one person who had unwavering confidence in my
abilities, even when I lacked faith in myself.
Without her patience and understanding, this book would
not exist.
Learning the Basics
Does the G-Spot Exist?
You may be wondering if the G-Spot is real.... Does it exist,
or is all the “G-Spot hype” just a selling tool for magazine articles
or adult novelties? And if the G-Spot does exist, why is it there?
Why is it so easily overlooked? What physical purpose does it
have? Does the penis touch it during intercourse?
And most importantly, if the G-Spot does exist, how does one
find it and coax it from hiding?
This book will answer all of these questions.
You may also wonder about female ejaculations — “squirting”
as the phenomena is often called. Is “squirting” merely more
sales hype, or are female ejaculations real? And if female ejaculation
does occur, why haven’t you seen it? Why does it occur?
What physical purpose is there for female ejaculations?
If you’re wondering about any of these questions, let me take
a moment to congratulate you for taking the time to enrich your
knowledge and understanding of female sexuality. As you will
learn from these pages, the phenomena of the G-Spot and female
ejaculations are not new to society. Documented mentions of
these enigmas can be traced back through history to as early as
Aristotle. And without doubt, millions of people have reached
their graves without ever experiencing the joys and pleasures
offered by the G-Spot.
The goal of this book is simple. We want you to learn, firsthand,
that both G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation do exist
and can be evoked to bring about the ultimate in female ecstasy
and sexual enjoyment. More importantly, you’ll learn why these
two phenomena exist, how they’ve been overlooked countless
7
times in the past, and the important roles they play in the processes
of human reproduction and c***dbirth.
Through these pages, you’ll learn a proven and tested “10-Step
technique” that shows you how to find the G-Spot, how to stimulate
it, and how to drive your lover crazy with ecstasy. You’ll deepen
your understanding of the female anatomy while learning new
methods of rekindling the romance and sexual excitement in your
current relationship.
The G-Spot does exist. Through this book, you can prove it to
yourself, and your lover.
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What’s the big deal about G-Spot
orgasms, anyway?
“My lover and I have great sex...why do we need to worry about
the G-Spot?”
If you’ve never seen or experienced a true G-Spot orgasm,
imagine for a moment, an orgasm that causes the whole vagina to
spasm violently, often contracting so tightly that it literally tries
to “f***e out” your finger or any object in the vagina. And imagine
that while these intense contractions are throbbing and pulsing
throughout the vagina, the vagina becomes very wet, often literally
ejaculating a stream or spurt of fluid with each contraction.
Imagine an orgasm that causes such intense ecstasy that even the
quietest and most controlled woman will yelp and buck and
thrash; one that makes normal “screamers” go dead silent—the
scream caught in her throat—a scream that if freed may wake all
the neighbors within a five block radius.
And imagine the satisfaction of never having to wonder: “Did
she just orgasm? Did she fake it, or was it real?”. But instead
knowing the instant her orgasm begins by clear physical signs
that occur involuntarily and accompany the orgasm.
This is the glory of a G-Spot orgasm.
But we don’t want you to take our word for it. We want you to
see for yourself.
Here’s what a few others had to say:
“I didn’t think orgasms like that were real. . . I thought they
only existed in romance novels. . .” — B. R.
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“It was absolutely the deepest, most wonderful climax I’ve
ever felt! It was like warmth started in my very center and flowed
outward all over my body. I loved it!” — L. K.
“I thought I had wet the bed! And then (name withheld)
explained what had happened and I could hardly believe it finally
happened to me. . . If I have to wash the sheets every day for the
rest of my life, it’s worth it.”— T.J.
“I wanted it to last forever and couldn’t stand another second.
. . both at the same time. It was the greatest!” — M.J.J.
“After that, I’ll never let (name withheld) get away from me!
Our love life has never been better. . .” — K. A.
“She used to just lie there and moan through the whole thing.
It was frustrating because I never knew when she was orgasming
or if she even orgasmed. Thanks to your technique, there’s no
more guessing...” — T.P.
10
The Dire Truth
about Conventional Orgasms
While most men can go from “slightly-interested” to “fullejaculation”
and orgasm in an average of 3 to 4 minutes, orgasms
for women are often more elusive. On average, a women requires
15 minutes (or longer) of combined foreplay and stimulation
before orgasm is achieved. The reward: a clitoral or vaginal
orgasm lasting an average duration of 8 to 19 seconds.
In the early 1970’s, a detailed nationwide study showed that
nearly 12% of women never experienced any type of orgasm! The
same study showed that 16% could have an orgasm during intercourse
(with the addition of clitoral stimulation) and 19%
achieved a rare orgasm through intercourse alone. Only 26% had
an orgasm on a regular basis (30% when including those who
claimed to have vague “good feelings” in the vagina).
Couple this with the brief 8 to 19 second duration of an average
orgasm and you have a very dire picture.
Another segment of the study showed controversy over
“clitoral” orgasms vs.”vaginal” orgasms. The consensus showed
that clitoral orgasms (empty vagina) were largely considered
“higher intensity” than orgasms with vaginal penetration—but
there was a catch-22 factor. During clitoral stimulation and
orgasm, most women felt a strong desire to have an object in the
vagina. The problem with this “vaginal craving” was an immediate
decrease in pleasure if vaginal penetration was made.
Additional parts of the study concluded orgasm intensities
could range from questionable (“was that an orgasm I felt?”) to
pure ecstasy—but the high-intensity orgasms occurred much less
frequently. The study also showed that most women have intercourse
for the purpose of sharing emotional intimacy, while another
group’s primary motivation was to obtain the ever-illusive
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orgasm. One study showed that about 1/3 of the women studied
enjoyed anal penetration while another 1/3 didn’t like anal penetration.
Another study showed that 21% of women desired daily
sex, while 18% —nearly the same amount—were satisfied with
sex 3 times per week. Other studies probed masturbation with fingers
versus objects, sex with the legs together versus spread, and
the preference of different positions during sex.
The relevance of this information is to elucidate the obvious:
we are all different and have different tastes and desires in a partner
and how we interact with that partner. We have different
needs, likes and dislikes. Secondly, it brings to light the sad reality
that many women never orgasm, and those who do aren’t always
satisfied afterwards.
But now there is hope.
Duration in the length of orgasm is one area where the G-Spot
leaps ahead.
Unlike the normal vaginal or clitoral orgasm, the G-Spot
orgasm lasts not a mere 8 to 19 seconds, but often lasts 45 seconds
— with common reports of 2 minute orgasms and rare
reports of orgasms lasting between 20 and 40 minutes! One man
reported:
“She kept orgasming as long as I was rubbing the spot. It
never quit or slowed down. We have a clock radio on our night
table and it went on for at least 45 minutes. I know that sounds
like an exaggeration, but it’s not. I was beginning to think it
might harm her in some way if I kept going. And I was ready to
explode any minute. Watching her thrash around in ecstasy and
feeling how warm and wet her [vagina] was against my fingers
was driving me crazy. Her [vagina] kept contracting and squeezing
and she felt as tight as a schoolgirl again. It was driving me
crazy. I love this G-Spot thing.”
A few women have reported needing to stop their partners
from continuing stimulation because the pleasure was “excruciating”
or “nearly unbearable.” One woman stated:
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“The anxiety was overwhelming. At first I thought it would
never come and when it did, the ecstasy was almost unbearable.
It felt so wonderful I couldn’t stand it. I thought I might go crazy
from the pleasure. I wanted to keep going, but had to stop, both
at the same time. And when it was over, I was exhausted and
totally satiated. Total bliss doesn’t define what I felt. It’s not even
close.”
Beyond driving your lover crazy with long-lasting ecstasy, an
additional benefit of G-Spot stimulation may be a reduction in
risk for cancer and diseases in the female prostate (also known as
Skene’s paraurethral glands and ducts). While the occurrence of
female prostate cancer is low and seldom fatal, any reduction of
risk is still beneficial. According to many alternative health
experts and Oriental practices, massaging the prostate can drain
toxins and stress. In the book, The Prostate Miracle, New Natural
Therapies That Can Save Your Lifei, the authors discuss similar
means for cleansing the male prostate gland and releasing toxins.
Although the female prostate is smaller than the male counterpart,
the two develop from the same embryonic tissue. Because of
their similarity, one might hypothesize that stimulation of the
female prostate and the corollary release of fluids and cleansing
could offer the same benefits as male prostate stimulation. This
topic of women’s health deserves future research.
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The 92% Factor
Using the technique provided in this book, an astounding 92%
of our respondents reported success within the first 3 applications
of the technique! This percentage includes women who previously
considered themselves either non-orgasmic or reported low occurrences
of orgasm.
In one survey we conducted, women were instructed to grade
“Vaginal”, “Clitoral”, and “G-Spot” orgasms on a scale of 1 to 10
(with 10 being the “most pleasurable” and 1 being “least
pleasurable”). Of the respondents who achieved successful G-Spot
orgasms, the average rating was a “10” (One woman claimed it
was “off the chart”)! The average rated clitoral orgasms was an
“8” and vaginal orgasms ranked third in pleasure intensity with
a “6”.
When asked to describe their G-Spot orgasm experience, we
commonly received the same four statements within most
descriptions:
1. “It was deeper than anything I’d felt before.”
2. “It felt very different from previous orgasms.”
3. “It was more fulfilling/satisfying than previous orgasms.”
4. “It felt ‘better’, ‘more pleasurable’, or ‘more intense’ than
other orgasms I’ve had.”
In addition, many women equated the G-Spot orgasm to a
“whole body” event, whereas other orgasms were “pelvic”. We
received many comments about feeling a “heat” that started deep
within “their core” and spread throughout their body. Coinciding
with this statement, many of the sexual partners (who administered
the technique) made comments such as: “she broke out in a
sweat afterwards” or “she was drenched and exhausted” or “she
threw off the covers”.
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Many women also reported their first (noticed) “female ejaculation”
occurred with the G-Spot orgasm. One re-occurring
comment we received was: “I thought I’d wet the bed. . .”. We
have heard this comment over and over.
While G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculations are separate
entities, the two sometimes occur simultaneously. We’ll discuss
female ejaculation in greater detail, later.
Like finding a half-bloomed rose, you now have a glimpse of
the G-Spot’s glory. Soon the petals will unfold.
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Why Does the G-Spot Exist?
Beyond the intense sexual pleasure the G-Spot is able to produce,
new studies are investigating the G-Spot’s value in blocking pain
during c***dbirth. In an article titled Beyond the G-Spot: Recent
Research on Female Sexualityii which appeared in the January 1999
Issue of Psychiatric Annals, authors Whipple and Komisaruk
state: “. . . a series of studies has demonstrated that self-stimulation
of the anterior wall of the vagina in women produces a significant
elevation in pain thresholds. . .” and “we believe c***dbirth would
be more painful without this natural pain-blocking effect...”.
This research (which has been replicated by other researchers)
shows the G-Spot’s value during c***dbirth. Because of this, we
feel that the physical purpose of the G-Spot is:
1. To ease pain during c***dbirth (as shown by Whipple and
Komisaruk).
2. To either enhance or provide sexual pleasure.
By stating “enhance” sexual pleasure, we are referring to
“non-direct” G-Spot stimulation. For example, when the penis
swells during normal intercourse, the increased girth of the penis
may partially stimulate the G-Spot and “boost” a woman’s sexual
enjoyment to the point she orgasms with her partner. If your lover
has ever said anything like: “You started swelling and hitting
something up in there that felt great...” you may now understand
what was happening. Likely, the partial stimulation of the G-Spot
enhanced her sexual pleasure.
By stating “provide” sexual pleasure, we are referring to direct
stimulation of the G-Spot. Which, as you will hopefully soon
learn, can provide a stand-alone unparalleled source of orgasm.
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A Side Order to Go, Please
By following the technique outlined in this book, one can
obtain indirect rewards along the way. The Ten-Step system is
designed to teach G-Spot understanding and prowess, yet it also
incorporates the building blocks for enriching and strengthening
relationships.” Heightened intimacy” is a good example. We all
need a partner with whom we can share our hopes and dreams,
our fears and desires, our failures and our triumphs. We need
someone to laugh with and someone to help us forget the pressures
society heaps on our shoulders. Sharing intimacy and having friends
to confide in can be an important element of good emotional health.
“Spontaneous praise” is another suitable example. When we’re
dating that special someone, praise is a wonderful tool. It’s a
great way to evoke a smile, a word of thanks, or perhaps even a
kiss. We use praise to hint our feelings toward that person by saying
“I love this about you” or “I love that about you”. And because of
the smile it often evokes, we freely point out our mate’s beauties,
skills, or whatever qualities we admire in them. They smile, love
us for our admiration, and often return a like sentiment.
As the relationship progresses, however, we tend to withdraw
from praising our partner and she or he withdraw from praising
us. Offering praise becomes similar to giving part of ourselves
away: a silent forfeiture of power. It fosters feelings of inadequacy
because giving praise somehow makes us feel like “less” and the
other person like “more”. Beyond that, the lack of received praise
begins to gnaw at our own self-worth. We start second-guessing
whether our partner still admires the traits she or he once freely
applauded. We vow not to venture out on a shaky limb and praise
him or her if they no longer praise us. The same praise we once
used as a helpful tool has now become a weapon, and we set ourselves
up to have a “praise stand-off” with our mate, like two
petulant c***dren pretending to be gunslingers.
17
With the stealth of a snake, a rift has split the ground between
us and our partner, widening with the passage of time, until we
are separated by an immense void.
But this need not be the case. As we know, the world can be a
harsh place. It continually beats us down. At times, the simplest
word of encouragement from our mate can bolster and fortify us,
giving us the strength to lift our chin and carry on. By recognizing
the fact that we need praise, it’s easy to understand that our mate
needs praise too, in all the same ways. And whom do we want as
the source of that praise: ourselves, or a stranger? What does it
really cost us to give praise? What might it cost if we don’t?
Like most things worthy of pursuit, the rewards you (and your
partner) receive along the way to the G-Spot—pleasure, tenderness,
open communication, increased sexual awareness and sexual
expression—will reflect the effort you extend.
One successful user of the technique had this to say:
“. . . Thanks so much for introducing me to the G-Spot and
sharing your wealth of sexual know-how. You have no idea how
beneficial your time and insightful comments have been in restoring
my marriage. Before reading your book, my wife and I were on
the brink of separating. Lovemaking had become an unimaginative
weekly ritual for us. The fires of romance that once blazed brightly
had dwindled to a pile of cool ashes. We spoke to each other only
out of necessity and both felt we had grown apart. Now, that has
changed. The knowledge you imparted has changed that. By following
your suggested steps, the doors of communication re-opened.
My wife and I discovered that we still have many common goals;
they were just buried underneath the headaches of everyday life.
We were both bored in the bedroom and had little desire to cuddle
or do anything that might lead to sex. Now, we’re like teenage
lovers again. Our relationship is renewed. We take walks together,
talk openly, and have adventurous sex daily (twice if we can manage).
It all started that first night I tried your technique. The seed for
new growth was planted. I (we) can’t thank you enough. ”—G. P.
If your relationship has grown stale and lacks romantic luster,
congratulate yourself for purchasing this book. You’ve taken a
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positive step toward rekindling the fires of romance. And while
buying a book may seem insignificant, remember that knowledge
is a powerful tool. Sometimes the smallest spark can set off the
largest blaze.
The matches are now in your hand.
19
Blended Orgasms
A Recipe for Higher Ecstasy
“What are blended orgasms?”
Suppose for a moment that your mate mentally rates a clitoral
orgasm as a “7” and a G-Spot orgasm as a “10”. What would
happen if she felt both of these orgasms at the same time? The
answer is simple: she would experience an (off-the chart) blended
orgasm.
In the early 1970’s, Irving Singer touched upon the concept of
“blended” orgasmsiii. Thereafter, while studying the continuum
of orgasmic response and the corresponding nerve pathways,
Whipple and Perry validated, defined, and clarified the reality of
“Blended Orgasms”iv .
In layman’s terms, blended orgasms are two or more orgasms
occurring simultaneously (or in very close rotation). Blended
orgasms originate from multiple sources of simulation. For example,
if you perform cunnilingus as you stimulate your partner’s G-Spot,
she may experience a blended “clitoral/G-Spot” orgasm.
While the two obvious sources for blended orgasms are either
(1) “stimulation of the clitoris and G-Spot” or (2) “stimulation of
the clitoris and vagina”, we need not limit our thinking to only
these two combinations. An orgasm can originate from a variety
of sources. For some women, having the breasts massaged or
nuzzled is very pleasurable and can bring about orgasm. For others,
petting and necking (with or without breast stimulation) can
induce an orgasm. Others reported an orgasm during dreams,
while horseback riding, and even while dancingv. And for others,
mental imagery alonevi vii (without any physical stimulation) can
cultivate orgasm.
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Opposite of this, as we discussed in the earlier segment, 12%
of women reported never experiencing any type of orgasm.
Others reported being able to orgasm through only one type of
stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation. Logic would therefore
indicate that not all women are likely to experience blended
orgasms—unless they find new sources or methods of becoming
orgasmic.
We hope the technique you learn from this book will be such a
source; a freshly bloomed rose, filled with sweet nectar.
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To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm?
That is the question many people ask themselves
during intercourse.
Because you purchased this book, it’s highly probable you
would enjoy seeing your mate experience a “blended orgasm”.
And it warrants mentioning here, your display of unselfishness
and caring is commendable. However, while the thought of seeing
our mate experience a blended G-Spot/clitoral orgasm may be
appealing, we must learn to “walk” before we can “run”.
As we learn to “walk”, the first mental step is learning and
accepting that people choose to orgasm. Deciding to orgasm is a
personal choice. No one can “give” or “will” another person an
orgasm—no more than you could “will” a stranger to remove
their clothing.
We each make individual choices concerning “if” or “when”
we will achieve orgasm—often without conscious deliberation of
the subject. For those who are highly orgasmic, the sheer act of
removing clothing (or allowing it to be removed) may mark the
decision. For others, the decision may not be concluded until
stimulation or coitus is underway and “the waters are tested”,
often mere seconds before orgasm. Others release their reservations
in layers. Like an autumn tree shedding its leaves, they
slowly drop inhibitions, as they grow resoundingly secure and
comfortable with the relationship. And yet others refuse ever to
relinquish control, usually from fear of self-humiliation, or to
avoid appearing too “wanton” or “loose”.
Along the way to making the decision, there are several determining
factors ensconced within the decision-making process. In
order to “let go” and orgasm, most people need to feel secure
with their partner. We need to feel good about ourselves, safe at
the location, and comfortable with what’s happening to our bodies.
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These factors are more prevalent if we’re with a new partner
or trying a new experience. While “new” can be exciting, the
excitement is fueled by the suspense of not knowing what to
expect. And because we don’t know what to expect, we reserve
judgment until late into the process.
All of this is important to consider as you administer the GSpot
technique. As you may recall, one of the four most common
descriptions we receive about the G-Spot experience is: “It felt
very different from previous orgasms”. Because of this, at some
unknown point while you’re applying the G-Spot technique, your
partner will realize something new and very exciting is happening
to her. She will then have to decide whether “to orgasm, or not to
orgasm”.
Deciding whether or not to reveal the G-Spot technique is up
to you. If you tell your mate beforehand of your plans to administer
the G-Spot technique, you may set up to be a victim of
“orgasm anxiety” (discussed later). On the other hand, if she
senses something new and unknown is happening to her (while
you’re applying the G-Spot technique) she may “hold back” and
delay or inhibit the orgasm due to the uncertainty of what she’s
feeling.
It’s a catch-22 situation and you should remember this as you go.
We recommend that you don’t initially mention your plan to
administer the technique. Instead, be aware that at some point
during your administration, she will sense this “new and exciting”
wave of pleasure building within her. Watch for the signs of her
uncertainty. When you see these signs, begin reassuring her that
you know what’s occurring and understand it. (“I know what’s
happening to you. It’s okay. I’m here. Just enjoy what you feel”).
The same thinking holds true with blended orgasms. While we
encourage the pursuit of blended orgasms, don’t overwhelm her
by trying to make the first G-Spot orgasm a “blended G-Spot/
clitoral orgasm”. Take it one step at a time. After she grows
familiar with G-Spot experiences, gaining both confidence and
understanding, she’ll be better suited (if not eager) to explore the
bold world of blended orgasms.
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Intimacy 101
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “intimate” as:
“Marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity;
marked by a warm friendship; suggesting informal warmth and
privacy; of very private and personal nature.”
As illustrated through the above definition, people share intimacy
with, not only their lovers or sexual partners, but also with
close friends, f****y members, and even pets.
Since the subject matter of this book deals with inner-couple
relationships, most references to “intimate” or “intimacy” refer to
the bonding, topics of private and personal nature, or the aspects
of carnal knowledge that occur within a relationship.
This point is being clarified because it’s important to acknowledge
that intimacy need not be linked to sex. Intimacy is the sharing
of one’s innermost feelings and thoughts with someone we
trust. Not only does it erect temporary buffers to the outside
world, it also provides a brief respite from stress. It staves off
loneliness and promotes our self-worth. Conversations are “mindto-
mind”; intimacy is “heart-to-heart”.
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The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation
Beyond intimacy, one other clarification needs to be made
before we start covering the technique. Modern society tends to
propel the myth that G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation are
the same occurrence. And while the two often do occur together,
it’s important to realize they are separate wonders—not one entity.
For simplification, we’ll explore this topic through a
“question/answer” format:
If G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation aren’t the same,
what exactly is “Female Ejaculation”?
Female ejaculation occurs when a women “ejaculates” fluid
(usually different than urine) from her urethra during sexual
arousal or orgasm.
Where does this fluid come from?
Surrounding the urethra and running to the neck of the bladder
lies a network of glands, ducts, and nerves called the “Skene’s
Paraurethral Glands”. As we mentioned earlier, these glands are
the female counterparts to the male prostrate. The Skene’s Glands
are the source of female ejaculate.
If it’s not urine, what is this fluid?
The fluid is typically described as “clear” or “milky”, having
little or no odor, and a sweet taste. However, as with male secretion,
the taste may change due to dietary intake or possibly as
part of the menstruation cycleviii.
The primary chemical makeup of the fluid is glucose, fructose,
prostate specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase
(PAP)ix x xi xii. The fluid may also contain traces of urinexiii.
25
Interestingly enough, fructose is one of the components present
in male ejaculation. Its primary job is to mobilize the spermatozoa.
While it was once believed that male fructose was the sole propellant
of spermatozoa, the presence of fructose in female ejaculate
would evidence the contrary. Instead of passively waiting for
spermatozoa to “swim” to the egg, the female plays an equally
active role in the reproduction process by infusing her own fructose
and ushering the spermatozoa’s movement, thus increasing the
probability for successful fertilization.
Because of this, we feel the physical purpose of female ejaculation
is to aid in the mobilization of spermatozoa. And while it
may not be scientifically proven, it stands to reason that stimulation
of the G-Spot and the female prostate may be a beneficial
pursuit for couples facing problems with conception.
As another interesting note, early forensic medicine checked
**** victims (and/or spots on their clothing) for the presence of
acid phosphatase, to prove **** had occurred. Research on female
ejaculate has since proven this test has no forensic value since
female ejaculation contains acid phosphatase.
What causes female ejaculation?
Since the G-Spot encompasses the Skene’s glands and the
glands are caressed during G-Spot stimulation, fluid is often
released into the urethra as a result of G-Spot stimulation.
However, G-Spot stimulation is not the sole source of ejaculation.
Some women ejaculate with stimulation of the clitorisxiv xv.
Do all women ejaculate?
The evidence is inconclusive on whether all women have the
ability to ejaculate. If the presence of fructose is designed to play
an important role in reproduction, one might hypothesize that all
women should have the ability to ejaculate, barring those with
physical anomalies, removed Skene’s Glands, disease, or hereditary
disorders. However, in some studies researchers did not notice
expulsion of fluid during stimulation.
26
In the Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The Ultimate in Female
Ecstasy, author Leonardi states: “...a combination of physical
technique and psychological security were absolutely necessary
in order for a woman to have ejaculatory orgasms.” Many of the
accounts in Mr. Leonardi’s book indicate the need for a strong
emotional bond to be established prior to successful female ejaculationsxvi.
If this is true, it could explain why some laboratory
studies fail, whereas others (conducted in a more natural atmosphere)
can often succeed, especially those done by researchers
who willingly provide “in home” examination or testing.
(As demonstrated in the 10-step technique, we feel emotional
bonding is a key ingredient to success).
It has also been hypothesized that, because many woman are
reclined during intercourse or stimulation, the fluid is retrogradeejaculated
into the bladder and is later released during urination.
In The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, the
authors state: “Some women may experience retrograde
ejaculation if the fluid shoots into the bladder rather than out the
urethra. xvii ”. This condition might be characterized by a
woman feeling a need to urinate after orgasm, but, when doing
so, only releasing a small amount of clear or milky fluid.
Along these lines, Cabello, author of Female Ejaculation,
Myth or Realityxviii, tested the hypothesis that all women may
ejaculate, but some may retrograde ejaculate and therefore might
be unaware of the ejaculation, since the fluid becomes mixed
with urine in the bladder and is later released during urination.
Of 212 completed and usable surveys we received in doing
research for this guide, 48% of women responding reported either
they did not ejaculate or were unsure if they had ejaculated. On
the opposite side of the gamut, 5% reported ejaculating before
orgasm and 47% reported ejaculating during G-Spot orgasm. Of
these 110 women who reported ejaculating, 101 reported the incident
was their first known ejaculation. Eight others stated they had
ejaculated in the past, while one woman informed us she commonly
ejaculates with stimulation of the breasts, clitoris, and vagina.
27
A 37-year-old (single) woman reported:
“The first time I slept with (name withheld), I thought I’d wet
the bed. It was very embarrassing for me because I really loved
him and wanted sex to be good for us. And it was good in ways
I’d never dreamed of. I’ve been having orgasms regularly since I
was 16 (years old) but nothing like this had ever happened. I’ve
slept with 7 different men and always considered my sex life as
‘good’ until this orgasm. Now I know what I was missing all
those years. This orgasm was very different and so much deeper
and better than the ones I’ve had before. (Name withheld) is a
definite keeper. . .”
Another woman reported:
“I didn’t know I could ejaculate. I’d heard of other women
ejaculating but had no idea that I could do it until my friend
applied your technique. It was quite an experience. . .”
Does the ejaculation always occur along with orgasm?
No.
In a study conducted by M. Zaviacic (et al.) in 1998xix, a
group of 10 women were studied who ejaculate through G-Spot
stimulation. Of the 10 women, they found that 2 participants ejaculated
within the first 1.5 minutes of stimulation, prior to orgasm.
Five other participants ejaculated after 4 to 8 minutes of G-Spot
stimulation (again prior to orgasm). And the three remaining participants
ejaculated with orgasm, after 10 to 15 minutes of G-Spot
stimulation.
How much fluid is ejaculated?
This is a controversial topic.
Most scientific studies gauge the average female ejaculation as
ranging between “a few drops to one-teaspoonful”— comparable
to the average volume of semen ejaculated by males. An example
of such appears in The G Spot and Other Discoveries About
Human Sexuality (recommended reading). The authors state: “In
28
the cases of female ejaculation observed by Whipple, Perry, and
their colleagues, only a few drops to about a quarter of a teaspoon
were usually expelledxx.”
On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have received reports
of women “drenching the bed” or producing “copious amounts”
of fluid. One man had this to say:
“She left a wet circle about a foot in diameter. We were both
amazed at how large the spot was. The sheets were saturated.
There was no foul odor. No noticeable odor in fact. But the bed
was too drenched to allow comfortable sl**p.”
Another man said:
“Sometimes it just trickles out of her and sometimes it gushes
and leaves a big wet spot. It’s great if she’s on top because having
that warm liquid flow down over my testicles makes me [ejaculate]
almost instantly. We don’t mind changing the sheets afterwards.
It’s worth it.”
Another stated:
“This milky liquid squirted out of her and splattered between
her knees. It left a two-foot long wet streak on the sheets.”
And:
“She normally ejaculates between one-half cup to one cup.
But the first time [she ejaculated] it was more, maybe a cup-anda-
half.”
And:
“About a week after we started using your technique, we
bought a plastic mattress liner for our bed. You might want to
recommend this to other people, along with buying a couple of
extra sets of sheets. Otherwise, the center of the bed gets too wet
after a couple nights of fun.”
And:
“She literally drenched the bed. When it comes to volume,
women put men to shame.”
29
A woman stated:
“I don’t mind washing the wet bedclothes every day. This
orgasm is worth it.”
In Tom Leonardi’s Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The
Ultimate in Female Ecstasy, several of the interview subjects
indicated “large amounts of the fluid”. On page 114, one such
subject stated: “And the insides of her thighs were dripping wet. . .”
Another said: “She came and she squirted. It hit me in the arm.
It hit my arm and I’m not sure where the rest of it went. . . . from
my forearm all the way up near my elbow.”
In describing the event, Leonardi states on page 57: “At the
very least, her hot liquid will quickly seep out of her, running
down her buttocks and off her body. But most likely, the liquid
will physically fly from her vagina—2, 4, 8, even 12 or more inches
from her.”
The “larger volume” conjecture might also be supported by a
custom called kachapati, which was practiced by the Batoro tribe
of Uganda, Africa. According to a personal communication from
anthropologist Phil Kilbratenxxi, the kachapati was a rite of passage
for young women emerging from puberty into womanhood.
Before these young women were eligible for marriage, the older
women of the village taught them how to ejaculate. The term
kachapati literally means to “spray the walls”. One might conclude,
in order to “spray the walls”, a significant amount of fluid would
need to be expelled.
So how is it that skilled researchers report only a “teaspoonful”
or less while many people claim it’s more?
Considering that most female ejaculations occur in dimly lit or
near-dark conditions—and are coupled with the excitement of
lovemaking (and perhaps the novelty of a first-time event)—we
feel that some estimates of the fluid amount are exaggerated or
over-estimated. In example, if you take a teaspoon of water and
dump it onto a flat non-absorbent surface, the water will form a
circle approximately 3.5 inches in diameter. If you repeat the
30
same experiment, but cover the hard surface with an absorbent
piece of material, (such as a cotton bed sheet), the teaspoon of
water will soak outward and form a circle 8 inches in diameter.
Since many mattresses are treated with stain-resistant protections
such as ScotchGuard™ and are covered with heavy upholstery that
resists permeation, the bed linens often absorb (and diffuse) the
bulk of the liquid. Also, because air can travel through the weave
of many bed linens, the heat quickly dissipates and causes the
area to feel cool and saturated.
Some researchers feel that Urinary Stress Incontinence (USI)
may also play a role, as urine is sometimes released “as” or
“along with” ejaculate, thus increasing the volume. However,
other researchers argue against this, claiming that—because it is
physiologically impossible for a man to urinate at the moment of
orgasm—the same likely holds true for women. (This latter argument
does not account for women ejaculating urine prior to
orgasm).
What’s it all mean?
While the jury is still out on certain aspects of female ejaculation,
advancing research has played a valuable role in the advancement
and betterment of women’s health. In the past, many women who
described “ejaculations” to their physicians were misdiagnosed
with USI and were often directed to undergo “corrective surgery”
for the “problem”. Beyond the embarrassment brought on by their
“shameful condition”, some women faced the wrath of a spouse
who believed his wife urinated on him during intercourse! As
one can see, the plight of these women was unpleasant.
Fortunately, due to groundbreaking research by Addiego,
Holoman, Komisaruk, Molcan, Perry, Whipple, Zaviacic,
Zaviaciova, and other great researchers, acceptance of female
ejaculation is coming about.
31
Some Healthy Considerations
Most medical doctors agree that the the****utic values of intercourse
far outweigh the risks, provided “safer sex” practices are
followed. During intercourse, muscles can receive exercise. Stress,
stored in the muscle tissue, is released from the body. In addition,
the physical stimulation and the movement during both foreplay
and intercourse f***e the heart to beat faster and breathing to
increase. This causes oxygen-enriched bl**d to be spread throughout
the body, replenishing cells and feeding muscles.
We’ve all likely heard the office water-fountain jokes that “soand-
so must have gotten lucky last night” because he or she
seems to glow and is unusually cheerful. These statements may
have medical validity since, like all forms of exercise, the release
of stress can brighten our disposition and help make the world
less gloomy and foreboding.
When engaging in intercourse, readers are urged to practice
“safer sex”. If you’re not familiar with “safer sex” practices, there
are a host of informative books available, such as: Safe
Encounters: How Women Can Say Yes to Pleasure and No to
Unsafe Sex (B. Whipple and G. Ogden, McGraw Hill, 1989) or
Safe Sex in a Dangerous World (A.Ulene, Vintage Books, 1987).
Your f****y physician is also a good learning source. Many
physicians have educational pamphlets available or can provide
information on sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and their
avoidance.
Contrary to popular belief, the risk of heart attack occurring
during sexual activity is very low. In a study performed with
patients who have suffered heart problemsxxii, only .09% cited
sexual activity as the triggering factor. Sexual orgasm has been
compared to “about the same energy required for climbing two
flights of stairs. . . or walking on a treadmill at 3 to 4 miles per
hour”xxiii. Compared to many other activities, the risk is low.
32
If you have a history of heart-related illnesses or other medical
condition (such as bl**d pressure or bl**d sugar irregularities),
you should check with your physician to learn safe guidelines.
Also, know your partner’s health. It’s a wise practice to discuss
his/her health status—any sexual diseases and any other health
concerns—before engaging in intercourse.
33
A Brief History of the G-Spot
There’s an adage that states: “To know where you’re going,
it’s helpful to know where you’ve been.” This statement holds
true with the G-Spot. By cultivating a deeper knowledge and
understanding of the G-Spot’s history, you increase your odds for
success using our ten-step technique.
We owe a great debt to the visionaries of our world. Not only
to those who live today, but to those who have come and gone.
Throughout time, gallant individuals have seen beyond common
perceptions and silently shouldered the duty of discovering truth.
In many cases, after enduring countless hours of research to validate
their cause, these selfless individuals stepped forth buoyantly to
declare their findings—only to have their hopes bludgeoned by
ridiculing peers.
Christopher Columbus might serve as a fitting example. At
age 14, he became a sailor. For many years, he studied known
maps of the world; likely doubting the world was “flat” as was
commonly believed. Later, as his theories of a “round world”
manifested themselves, he conferred with European scholars
(who also believed the world was round). Gaining conviction, he
set forth to prove his theory. Yet when he announced plans to sail
to the East Indies by crossing the Atlantic toward the west, he
was persecuted by “flat thinking” peers.
As we all know, Columbus sailed and prevailed. His ship did
not fall off the edge of a flat Earth and into oblivion. And
although he never reached his original destination, he discovered
something greater in the process—a bold new uncharted world.
Like most great discoveries, the G-Spot and the reality of
female ejaculation both follow a similar history. Throughout history,
brave and dutiful visionaries have arisen time-after-time to confirm
the existence of this uncharted sexual continent, often bearing the
ridicule of skeptical peers in the process. Aristotle may be one of
34
the earliest recorded examples by observing that women expel
fluid during orgasm. In the s*******nth century, a Dutch
anatomist Regnier de Graaf described a “female ‘prostatae’ or
corpus glandulosum” which expulsed fluid, enhanced libido, and
caused pleasure. In his findings, he stated: “The function of the
‘prostatae’ is to generate pituitoserous juice which makes women
more libidinous. . .” and “the discharge from the female
‘prostatae’ causes as much pleasure as does that from the male
‘prostatae’.xxiv ”
Long after Regnier de Graaf’s work, Alexander Skene, M. D.,
George Caldwell, M. D. , John W. Huffman, M. D., Samuel
Berkow, M. D., and several others individually studied these
glands and/or female ejaculations and released their own findings.
At the end of World War II, a German gynecologist and obstetrician
named Ernst Gräfenberg collaborated with an American
gynecologist and obstetrician by the name of Robert L.
Dickinson, M. D. In 1950, Gräfenburg wrote about “...an erotic
zone could always be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the
vagina along the course of the urethra...xxv”. According to the
findings, this erogenous zone swelled when stimulated and
“swells out greatly at the end of orgasm.”
In the 1970’s, while treating women suffering from Urinary
Stress Incontinence (USI), John D. Perry, Ph.D, and Beverly
Whipple, R. N., Ph.D, made an important discovery that led them
to the G-Spot. Typically, women suffering from USI have weak
or atrophied pelvic muscles. The strength of these muscles can be
measured through biofeedback and can be strengthened by teaching
women Kegel exercises (a technique for strengthening the
Pubococcygeus or “PC” muscle). However, Perry and Whipple
discovered that some of the women who supposedly suffered
from USI had very strong pelvic muscles. Furthermore, these
same women with strong pelvic muscles often stated the only
time they (accidentally) lost fluid through their urethra was
during intercourse.
Much like Columbus’s epic journey, setting forth for the
Indies and discovering America instead, Dr. Perry and Dr.
35
Whipple discovered their own land of milk and honey, which they
aptly named “The Gräfenburg Spot” in honor of Dr. Ernst
Gräfenburg’s early research.
At the 1980 national meeting of the American Association of
Sex Educators, Counselors and Ther****ts, and the 1980 international
meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex,
Perry and Whipple presented their findings about the G-Spot and
Female Ejaculation. Later, in 1982, along with Alice Kahn Ladas,
they published a book explaining The Gräfenburg Spot, Female
Ejaculation, the Importance of Healthy Pelvic Muscles, and New
Understandings of the Human Orgasm. This popular long-standing
book is titled The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human
Sexuality and is still in print as of this writing.
Since the release of The G Spot and Other Discoveries About
Human Sexuality, more has been learned about the G-Spot and
female ejaculations. As each new doorway to knowledge is
unlocked and opened, we find yet more another doorway awaiting.
The more we learn, the more mysteries await us. History unfolds
while no one is watching.
36
The Technique
Let’s get started!
Okay. Now that you know a little about the G-Spot, you’re
probably wondering how you can test the G-Spot technique
first-hand.
Let me commend you if you’ve read through this far and
haven’t skipped ahead. One of the most frequent complaints
women voice about poor lovers is having a partner with “vaginal
objective”. This “vaginal marksman” wants to kiss once or twice,
perhaps then fondle the breasts, then skip any other delays and
move right toward the clitoris or vagina. If you’ve taken the time
to read this far, you’re likely not a “Vaginal Marksman”. (They
are now reading “step 10” and will have to back up, re-read, and
likely will never get this straight. A year from now they’ll be the
ones responsible for rumors that the G-Spot doesn’t exist). You,
on the other hand, will find the truth since you have displayed the
two most important attributes to actually being successful in helping
your lover achieve a G-Spot orgasm. These are: patience and
self-control.
Stop for a moment and look at the big picture in logical terms:
if the G-Spot orgasm were something easy to achieve and could
be stumbled upon, nearly every woman on the planet would know
what it is and how to do it. Right? Most would have found this
spot (as they do their clitoris, during exploratory masturbation), and
would be enjoying its pleasures. But as we know, nothing could
be further from the truth. Even in this day and age, the G-Spot is still
arcane, obscure, misunderstood, and a topic of curiosity.
As evidence of this, we will look at an internet educational
service called KISISS (Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information
Service for Students). KISISS allows Indiana University students
to ask questions about sex in an anonymous fashion. After each
37
question is answered, both the question and answer are posted for
other site users to read. Interestingly enough, at the time of this
writing, the #1 most frequently read question is: “What is the GSpot
and Where Can I Find it?xxvi” . The sheer fact that college
university students (and visitors) read this question more than any
other question lends us insight. Clearly, it shows that the G-Spot
is still a mystery.
Like dark ships passing on a night sea, most people repeatedly
overlook the G-Spot. As many women pass through life, they
mature, explore their own bodies, masturbate, have intercourse,
bear c***dren, and often never find their own G-Spot. All the
same time, the partners who shared in the lovemaking have also
overlooked this special spot.
Beyond this, up until two decades ago, many of the very doctors
who examine women daily (gynecologists and obstetricians)
were unsure of the G-Spot’s existence.
In the defense of these physicians, we should consider that (1)
the G-Spot cannot be seen without dissection of the anterior vagina
wall and (2) it is virtually unnoticeable until stimulated. Since
gynecologists and obstetricians are not in the practice of stimulating
their patients, it stands to reason they would fail to notice the spot.
With all this in mind, if you truly want to find the elusive G-Spot
and help your partner feel the absolute best orgasm she’s ever
felt—a spasming, screaming-and-thrashing-in-ecstasy G-Spot
orgasm—you’ll need to have patience and self-control.
Follow the 10 Steps implicitly. After you learn and become
familiar with the G-Spot orgasm, you’ll be able to use the technique
very quickly and effectively to help your lover produce results
much of the time. But like any worthwhile endeavor, the technique
takes practice. The more you do it, the quicker you’ll learn to
identify certain “signs” given by the female body that allow you
to move on to the next step of the process.
The same is true of your partner. If you have a steady sex partner,
after she loses her G-Spot virginity she will also learn to read
her body signs and will be able to hit the G-Spot climax sooner,
and in a wide variety of positions.
38
Step 1
Priming
Although it’s possible to help a woman achieve a G-Spot
orgasm on the first sexual encounter, the surest bet is with steady
partners who are familiar and comfortable together. This is
because of emotional qualities. In order to fully let go, many
women need to feel safe, loved, and secure with their partners’
sexual prowess and understanding.
Recommendation number one: As was said earlier, it’s wise
not to mention the G-Spot orgasm to your partner. If you tell her
you want to “try something new” you’ll be fostering expectations
in her that may be counter-productive when you actually get
down to lovemaking. She’ll feel the need to “perform” without
understanding the details. Therefore, she will be apprehensive and
edgy—when it’s helpful to be exactly the opposite: relaxed and
comfortable.
Instead of telling your lover about your covert plan, set up the
opportunity to “show” her. Sit down with your lover and tell her
that you’d love to take her out for dinner or a movie, then return
home and spend the evening making slow passionate love. Be
sure to mention the second part of this plan so your lover doesn’t
get the wrong impression—that the two of you are going to spend
the evening out together. This will do two things for you. One,
your lover will appreciate your candor and the romance of the
gesture; two, it will prime her for lovemaking. If your relationship
is fair or better, she’ll probably be thinking about the lovemaking
long before you order supper or choose a movie.
Beyond this preparation, be sure to groom yourself prior to
your date. Because much of this technique involves stimulation of
the vagina, be sure your fingernails are short, clean, and smooth
to avoid damaging the soft tissues of her body. Wear your favorite
cologne. Look and feel your best.
39
Step 2
Foreplay
After you wine and dine her, talk about old times and those to
come, perhaps give her flowers, brush the spinach out of your
teeth from dinner, maybe slow dance in the living room and eventually
work your way to the bedroom, be sure to remind her of
how beautiful she is and how much you enjoy being with her.
Boost the intimacy. Talk to her. Remember that for many women,
foreplay is mainly emotional. Spend lots of time on the emotional
bonding. Strengthen your relationship and bond with her.
40
Step 3
More Foreplay
Most likely, with a few more kisses, some light petting, and
additional compliments, the two of you will be stripping each
other as if your clothes are on fire—falling into the bed together
as if it were the only pool of water in the world. And this is when
you need to gently take control. If this is your steady partner and
you’ve primed her the week before your “date”, she’ll likely be
wet and ready to fall into your standard lovemaking. Seize control
by telling her you want to “take it slow” this time. Remind her
that you want to make slow love to her—that you want to spend
some time pleasing and savoring her and making her feel loved.
She’ll love you for that. Ask her to lie back and make herself
comfortable. Remind her that you love her and remind her how
beautiful you think she is. If she has beautiful breasts, tell her so.
If it’s her eyes, her long legs, or her full sensual lips that you like,
tell her so. Praise is a key element within any relationship. It
costs nothing to give but can be priceless when received. It helps
us maintain a healthy image and self-worth while making us feel
respected, desirable, and loved. If you love your partner, praise
her. Tell her what you love about her; not just her physical beauties,
but her emotional qualities, skills, or whatever it is you truly admire.
By doing this, you’re promoting a deep sense of intimacy and
comfort while keeping her aroused. Kiss her. Nibble on her lips.
Kiss her throat, the lobe of her ears, her eyelids—all of which are
very erotic and arousing spots for the majority of women.
In the case of most women, by the time you’ve spent a few
minutes kissing all about her face, nibbling the lips, kissing the
eyelids, perhaps blowing in her ear, and dragging your lips over
her neck and down to her shoulders, you’ll probably notice her
beginning to inch upward or pressing your face toward her
breasts. . . arching her back. If she’s forward, she may seek you
41
out with her hand or guide your hand to her breast. She may even
tell you she wants you—but don’t sell off the million-dollar
orgasm that cheaply. A critical element here is keeping all your
attention, physical and emotional, focused at breast level or above.
42
Step 4
Teasing
So here you are, in bed together, probably naked by this point,
very aroused and ready. You’ve (both) been thinking about this
moment ever since you first mentioned the evening out. This is
the part where both patience and self-control are beginning to
come into play—don’t sell yourself short and give in!
Lavish her with kisses. If she enjoys having her neck kissed,
by all means oblige. If she enjoys breast stimulation, nuzzle and
fondle and tease her breasts. At this point you can “bend” the rule
of focusing all attention at the breast level (and above) by rubbing
her stomach. This is an important step in the arousal process. The
purpose of this step is to increase bl**d flow in the pelvic area.
Work your hand back and forth across her stomach and down her
abdomen very slowly. You don’t want her to think you’re targeting
the vulva, so move slowly and randomly until you’ve reached the
area just above the pubic hairline. Absolutely DON’T drop your
hand any lower—even if she tries to move it there—even if she
tells you she wants you and starts pulling you toward her.
The reason you don’t want to touch any lower than the
abdomen (yet) is because it breaks the bond you’re working to
build. Some women have experienced the “vagina marksman”
and may be emotionally turned off when interest is transferred to
the vagina (if done too soon). When this occurs, it often signifies
the “end” of the bonding process and the “beginning” of sex. It
can flick as quickly as a light switch. The mist of enchantment lifts.
Continue to nuzzle her breasts, kiss her, nibble at her neck, or
whatever shows your love. Your goal is to continue increasing the
emotional bond between you, and she will u*********sly give
you signs as the strength of the bond deepens. Remember—
you’re about to provide the stimulus for an orgasm that is unlike
anything she’s ever felt. In order to reach it, she’ll be slowly
transferring her trust to you. She’ll need to feel cherished, safe,
and adored in order to do so without holding back.
43
As you nuzzle at her breasts, kiss her neck, nibble her ears, or
whatever it is that turns her on, you are watching for two “go
ahead” signs before moving to step five. The first is the most
important. You must continue stimulation until she is virtually
smashing your head into her chest, breathing heavily, tugging at
you as if she’s trying to pull you inside her. Once you become
aware of this, start watching (or sensing) for the second sign:
movements in her hips. The hips never lie. . . and you want her
thrusting them upward. If she’s not thrusting, arching, or twisting
her hips, she’s not ready. So continue nuzzling and sucking at her
breasts or otherwise stimulating her until her hips move. If need
be, move your hand a little lower on her abdomen to brush the
upper edge of the pubic hair as you rub. Before long, both of
these signs will come.
44
Step 5
The “Go Ahead” Sign
Once you have the two “go ahead” signs of arching hips and
tugging, absolutely don’t break contact with her breasts, chest or
face. Keep your head and face at chest level or above. This gives
the unspoken message that “you’re still with her”—not merely
moving on to focus on her vagina and get your next lay.
With the hand you’ve been using to massage her abdomen,
slowly trace down to rub her upper and inner thighs—again,
without touching the vagina and setting off the “vagina marksman”
alarm. If you’d like, reach around and squeeze the lower
half of either buttock in a teasing way. Massage the muscles gently;
working the flesh actually tugs at the edge of the vulva, helping
to open the labia and helping her become more ready and wanton.
This massage also increases bl**d flow in the pelvis, arousing
and heightening sensitivity.
Trace your fingers up and down her thighs, provocatively
circling her “magic triangle”. Brushing the edges will ensure her
hips continue to thrust.
Above all, remember to focus on her and hold the emotional
bond you’ve established.
45
Step 6
Hovering
By now she should be thrusting her hips wantonly and moving
in a way to actually encourage you to touch her vagina. If she’s
bold, she may try to massage herself or try to guide your hand (or
other part) to the area. However, don’t let her. If necessary remind
her lovingly that you want to spend more time just touching and
savoring her. If she wants to massage herself, encourage her to
massage her breasts. Moreover, encourage her simply to just lie
back and enjoy.
Your next step will be to move your hand above her womanhood
and hover it there, just brushing the tips of the pubic hair. If she’s
really aroused, this will drive her absolutely crazy. She’ll sense
your hand and the heat of your hand and should impulsively arch
her hips toward your hand. Expect this reaction and raise your
hand to avoid contact.
While hovering, you may even tug at the hair lightly. You need
not tease her in this way for more than 2 or 3 minutes, but be sure
to allow your hand to hover above her womanhood long enough
for her to show some type of acknowledgment—even if that’s
only a moan.
Many women harbor inhibitions about being verbal or displaying
their sexual needs or desire. The underlying significance of the
“hovering” is two-fold. Not only does it increase your lover’s
arousal, but it also encourages her to react and helps to break
through any inhibitions she may be struggling with. It should be
abundantly clear that you are deliberately (almost mercilessly)
teasing her, searching for a reaction, and this gives her a justifiable
reason to react without compromising her ego or sacrificing dignity.
You’ve compelled, almost f***ed, her to react. And for many
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women, once they have reacted the first time and break the barrier,
it’s easier and acceptable to react again.
After you’ve hovered and received a reaction, allow your fingers
to trace up and down the flesh on either side of her vagina.
By saying “flesh”, we do not mean the labia but rather the
mounds on either side of the vulva. Touch it very lightly. This is
an extension of the tease and should further fuel the fires of arousal.
Continue this for a while and slowly change the feather-light
touches into a soft massage. Few people realize there are muscles
on either side of the vaginal opening, so take a little time and
gently massage these muscles, relaxing them.
After you’ve massaged these muscles for a moment, trace her
vagina with your fingers, using a finger on either side of her vagina
to lightly pull back and spread open the labia. The labia are a
very sensitive and erogenous area, yet many women report they
are overlooked during lovemaking. So spend a little time here,
flattening the genital lips and tracing them with your fingertips.
Gently tug at them and spread them open. This sense of the vagina
being “open” will often trigger a high “vaginal craving”, and
she’ll want that void filled.
If you’d like, you may even stroke the clitoris lightly—but
don’t linger there as the clitoris can be very disruptive to firsttime
G-Spot orgasms. If you’ve thought of the clitoris as the primary
stimulus point for a woman, you’ll want to re-train your
thinking. From this point on, think of the G-Spot as the main
stimulation and the clitoris as either a “booster” or a secondary
stimulus. Remember that the women polled report that G-Spot
orgasms are significantly more intense than clitoral orgasms, both
in duration and fulfillment.
As we discussed earlier, “blended orgasms” are an exception
to this rule and will certainly warrant future exploration. But for
tonight, this special first night, we’ll avoid the clitoris unless she
really needs an extra boost.
In some ways, the G-Spot and the clitoris are like
internal/external counterparts. G-Spot virgins, who have spent a
lifetime thinking of their clitoris as their primary stimulation,
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may get so involved trying to give themselves a clitoral orgasm
that they lose track of the G-Spot stimulation you’re trying to
build. While it has not been scientifically proven, our belief is
that “single-task” persons can only focus on one form of internal
stimulation. . .just as they can only focus on one form of external
stimulus at a time. Logical thinking would lead to the conclusion
that “multi-taskers” are more likely to succeed at blended
orgasms.
Whether or not this is the case, we advise you try to keep your
lover away from her own clitoris for this night. Touch it enough
to tease, and then move on.
Bear in mind through this whole process, never break contact
with her breasts or above. . . returning frequently to kiss her lips
and ward off her advances if she tries to pull you onto her.
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Step 7
Locating her G-Spot
By now there should be no doubt she’s ready. She should be
moaning (at least quietly), thrashing her hips, arching her back,
and urging you on. And as you finally dip your finger into that
moist warm wetness, your patience and self-control will be tested
to their maximum endurance. But don’t give up. . . you’re
almost there!
Slide your finger into her very slowly—dipping in very shallow
at first to allow your finger to become moist—pulling out and
dipping in again. As you do this, dip a little deeper each time,
keeping light pressure on the front wall of the vagina—all the
while be careful not to scratch those sensitive folds of velvet with
a fingernail.
When touching a woman, many lovers make the error of
plunging a finger as deeply into the vagina as possible and wiggling
the member around, not realizing that aside from the hidden
G-Spot, most of the sensitive nerves lie within the first two inches
of the vagina’s throat. Hence, the adage: It’s not what you’ve got
but how you use it. So don’t make the error of plunging. Your
goal here is to tantalize the outer nerve endings while allowing
your finger to become sufficiently lubricated to visit hidden depths.
If your partner is not well lubricated, you may want to use a
suitable lubricant. Her being “dry” does not mean she is not aroused.
Diet, hormonal levels, medications, and menstrual cycle can all
affect vaginal lubrication. Wetness is not a valid gauge of arousal.
Finally, slide your index finger into her, skimming the upper
wall. This is the critical process of locating the G-Spot, so while
you’re still kissing her, teasing her nipples or sucking her breasts,
concentrate for a moment on what your finger encounters.
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Study the following diagram. This may help you better understand
the location of the G-Spot when the time comes.
With most women, about one-and-one-half inches inside,
you’ll feel a slightly textured area of skin (it feels somewhat the
same as the roof of your mouth). Just beyond this textured area is
the G-Spot, hidden in what feels like a “valley”. If you go too far
and pass the G-Spot, you’ll feel a smooth “plateau” that is flat for
an inch or two, then curves inward toward the cervix opening
(which is also a very erotic spot if caressed lightly—although it is
hard to reach).
If you go too far and reach this plateau, back up to the bottom
of the “valley” and rub the down-slope between the valley and the
edge of the textured area.
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In most cases, the G-Spot feels like a small bean or a very
small nipple. At other times it can’t be sensed at all. Just like
breasts or nipples, some women have small G-Spots and others
have larger ones. (The former is especially true of postmenopausal
women).
Once you’ve found the G-Spot (or are in the vicinity where it
should be, if it can’t be felt), begin rubbing very lightly in a circular
manner, at the rate of about one revolution per second. The
pressure you apply should begin with about the same degree of
pressure you would use to write your name on a steam-fogged
mirror. You can use one finger, or two, whichever feels most comfortable
to you and best matches the size of your partner.
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Step 8
Stimulating the G-Spot
Okay, you’re finally there, rubbing the G-Spot. . .so why isn’t
anything happening?
When you first touch the G-Spot, don’t be surprised if you
don’t get an immediate reaction, just continue rubbing between
the bottom of the valley and the back edge of the “textured” area.
In most cases, women will make comments such as “that feels
good” or “stay right there” or “that feels so different”. But if you
don’t get any response at all, don’t panic. Think of the G-Spot as
being similar to the nipple. When you first touch a nipple it is
soft and only relatively sensitive. But as bl**d flows to the area
and the nipple grows erect and aroused, the sensitivity increases
in a dramatic flourish. The G-Spot is much the same. As you
begin to caress it in a slow, circular manner, you will soon feel
the area swell. It may become more porous and have an almost
grainy feel. And it will most definitely become very sensitive.
If the G-Spot is massaged without prior arousal, many women
find it uncomfortable. This is one of the key reasons that some
people fail to find the G-Spot. Half-hearted pioneers often search
for a spot that gives a woman great pleasure. Yet if these seekers
blindly happen upon the G-Spot (without proper arousal) the
woman may report minor discomfort or an “uncomfortable feeling”,
steering them away. This is an important point to remember
in the future. If you try to move through the G-Spot technique
faster in the future and skip over steps, the G-Spot may not be
properly aroused when you reach it. Always follow the steps and
watch for the “go ahead” signs from your partner as you move
from one step to the next.
Rhythm is the absolute key here. As long as you maintain a
steady rhythm, slow-building “waves” of ecstasy begin to wash
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in. Each wave that comes will be a little higher in intensity than
the previous, and they will begin to cascade and surge faster and
faster, until a point is reached that, just as one wave is beginning
to fade, the next is already swelling.
If a women tries to stimulate her own G-Spot, her proclivity is
often to stroke the area faster and firmer (and faster yet) as the
waves grow more intense, trying to “f***e” a wave to crest and
break over into the undying ecstasy she senses just beyond. The
problem is, she can over-stimulate the G-Spot and inhibit the
orgasm. This is critical knowledge to consider when you hear
your lover’s pleas to move faster or firmer. Be cautious about giving
in. Maintain a slow even rhythm at first.
On the other hand, if you’ve been stimulating her G-Spot for
ten minutes (or longer) at the one-revolution-per-second technique
and she can’t “crest over”, it may be time to try a different
touch. Remember that all women are different. Some women do
need a slightly firmer touch. For others, a side-to-side or up-anddown
finger movement is more effective than a circular one.
Some women prefer stimulation with one finger while others prefer
two or more. For yet others, slight variations in the speed are
more effective. . . or a combination of any of these factors. This is
where practice, judgment, and experimentation will come into
play. We first recommend using the circular, light, one-revolutionper-
second method. Our research has shown that it is the most
effective. When many lovers were urged to move faster or firmer
and the demand was obliged, the orgasm often faded instead of
growing. When the original slow and light touch was resumed,
success soon followed.
The good news is, there appears to be a “point of no return”
with G-Spot orgasms. After her first experience, your lover will
likely (ardently) convey this to you. Once she reaches the point
where “waves” of pleasure are building and cascading rapidly, the
orgasm becomes nearly inevitable.
We asked one woman if she could stop a clitoral or vaginal
orgasm from occurring. She replied: “Why, yes. Certainly.” In discussing
her G-Spot experience, the same woman stated: “I
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reached a point where I couldn’t stop it from coming, even if I
wanted to!”
When you finally get to witness the extreme ecstasy of your
lover thrashing and screaming in the throes of pure ecstasy, it’s
very difficult not to become excited yourself and begin rubbing at
the G-Spot with great enthusiasm. When some lovers see their
partner in such ecstasy—especially if she has her first (visible)
ejaculation—they often experience orgasm themselves. However,
if you can maintain control and keep up the G-Spot stimulation,
her orgasm may continue perpetually. This is how some couples
state they can maintain an orgasm for up to 20 or more minutes!
One couple even reported an orgasm that lasted 40 minutes and
only stopped because neither partner could stand any more.
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Step 9
The “Big-O” Draws Near
Even if your partner hasn’t mentioned it yet, at this point she
is likely aware that something quite different from a vaginal/clitoral
orgasm is beginning to grow inside her. She may even feel some
apprehension because of not knowing what’s happening. So as
you continue to stroke the G-Spot, be sure to reassure her that
you are there, with her, in support of her, and remind her that you
love her. Tell her of how beautiful she is and how much you
enjoy taking this time to bring her pleasure. Not only will this
make her feel emotionally safe and secure and help her climax
sooner, it will also help her relax and lessen any guilt she may
feel because of all the unselfish time you’re spending. If she complains
about feeling guilty, tell her you’ll gladly let her return the
favor another time, but tonight belongs to her.
In most cases, aside from the initial, slight swelling of the G-Spot,
you won’t notice any changes inside the vagina. When dealing
with women who are new to the G-Spot orgasm, you’ll often find
the muscles in your forearm begin to burn before you feel the
first vaginal contraction squeezing against your finger. Most of
our survey respondents state “20 minutes” of G-Spot stimulation
was required the first time. So again, it’s time to utilize that
patience and self-control. You haven’t come this far to stop now.
And if you do stop now, you’ll likely disappoint your lover (who
is aware of this massive ecstasy burgeoning inside her).
As the G-Spot orgasm grows near—The Big-O—the first
thing you’ll notice is a constricting of the vagina that begins with
one of her “waves”. With the next wave the vagina will constrict
again, fade, then quickly return with the next wave, building and
building to a point where the vagina is so perpetually constricted
the muscles often spasm and quiver. Sometimes, the constricting
is so tight it will eject your finger! About the same time you
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notice the first constriction, you’ll also likely notice a greater
sense of wetness. In fact, some women become very wet, to the
point the suction of the finger causes slurping noises and a clear
fluid actually begins to weep from the vagina. As we discussed
earlier, this is the wonder of female ejaculation.
If this occurs, you may notice the consistency of this fluid
differs from the normal milky lubricant produced by the vagina.
Your finger may loose it’s slickness, and since the area is so
sensitive, you may want to pause and quickly apply an approved
sexual lubricant. Have some lubricant available before things get
started. As a general rule, the slicker your finger stays, the better.
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Step 10
You’re There!
You’re there! As the wetness increases, the vagina will begin
to convulse violently. As we mentioned, some women constrict so
hard it f***es the finger out of the vagina! By this time your
lover will undoubtedly be thrashing wildly and screaming “Don’t
Stop! Don’t Stop! Oh, God don’t Stop!” or “Faster! Faster!
Faster!” But regardless of how frantic your lover becomes,
regardless of how excited you get by watching her ecstasy, try to
control your motions.
As she finally crests over the top, most women will scream. It
differs from the normal orgasm scream, being more of a guttural
“expelling” sound rather than the gasping breaths of standard
orgasms. If you can picture the grunting scream of a woman giving
birth, her head hunched forward, clenching her knees, you’re on
the right track. . . and at the same moment she cries out, if she
hasn’t already done so she may ejaculate. This is especially true
of G-Spot virgins. While it defies the findings of scientific
research, many of our respondents mention the first G-Spot
orgasm as the “wettest”—almost as if the fluid has been locked
up for years and you’re opening the dam, setting it free.
Our theory is that many of these couples simply don’t “work”
as hard on subsequent sessions as they did during the first G-Spot
experience. Emotional bonding or the duration of stimulation may
also play roles in determining the volume of fluid produced and
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the intensity of the orgasm. While these subjects are worthy of
future exploration, they need not detain us here.
At this point, simply keep your finger moving until your lover
asks you to stop or the orgasm fades. Typically, she will ride that
wave for one or two full minutes, and the orgasm will lessen.
When you see this event, you will be completely rewarded for
all your “work”. Just watching her writhe and knowing the intense
pleasure you are helping to provide is a great reward in itself.
Most men will want to join her as they sense this wave fading.
The change from a finger to a swollen penis may delight her. . .
and by this point, having watched her thrash and scream, feeling
the warm wetness on your finger and hand, your self-control will
likely be gone. So as long as she’s willing, jump in and enjoy the
orgasm with her. Feeling a wet, contracting vagina sucking at the
penis can be an experience neither of you forget!
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Afterwards
The Little Death
Directly after the orgasm, a few women pass through a phase
called “the little death”. This phase is a 5 to 10 second period in
which the woman may appear to faint and/or seems to stop
breathing. If this occurs, don’t panic. Women who have passed
through “the little death” frequently state they were so overwhelmed
with pleasure they “floated in delirium” for a brief period.
Other women may have a tendency to “pant” briefly before or
during the orgasm, resulting in either hyperventilation or
hypoventilation. In either case, a combination of the tremendous
release of stress, sudden slowing of the heart, and a re-direction
of oxygen-rich (or suddenly depleted) bl**d cells can bring about
“the little death”.
After 5 or 10 seconds, your lover should dreamily open her
eyes. When you ask if she’s okay—and you should—she’ll likely
tell you everything is fine, that she was simply enjoying the
moment.
If your partner does actually faint and remains unresponsive
for more than 15 or 20 seconds, you may have a medical emergency
on your hands and should contact medical assistance immediately.
Again, as a responsible party, it is your duty to know your partner’s
health status before engaging in sexual activity.
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Sharing the Experience
In one survey, we asked women to express how they felt after
their G-Spot experience. Women responding to this survey were
instructed to indicate such by either “writing in” a comment or by
choosing among (one or more) multiple-choice selections.
Of these respondents, an overwhelming 97% indicated feeling
“Joyous/Elated” after their first G-Spot experience. Other leading
answers were: “Lovey/Romantic”(89%), “Thankful” (84%), and
“Satiated/Fulfilled” (82%).
While the vast majority of responses and comments were very
favorable, an average of 47% also indicated feeling “embarrassment”
and/or “curiosity” intermixed with other feelings. A few
(3%), cited their feelings of embarrassment stemmed from
becoming too “verbal” or “expressive” during the sexual episode.
Yet a much larger group stated the embarrassment arose from fear
they had “wet the bed” or “lost bladder control” during orgasm.
In some of these cases, women stated they had no idea
females could ejaculate and therefore concluded they had “wet
the bed”. In other cases, women indicated awareness that “other”
women could ejaculate, but previously considered themselves
“non-ejaculators”.
One tell-tale comment we frequently received was:
“I knew other women could ejaculate, but I didn’t know I could.”
As conscientious partners, it’s important to be aware of this
information. If your lover ejaculates during G-Spot stimulation,
she may fear she has “wet the bed” and may hide or avoid
discussing her “problem” due to personal embarrassment.
Undoubtedly, she will feel bad about herself and equally bad
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about what’s happened, even if the experience brought her great
pleasure.
To thwart any hidden tensions from festering and rearing their
heads in the future, be sure to talk openly with your partner about
your first mutual G-Spot adventure. Discuss the phenomenon of
female ejaculation. Learn how she feels about it: what she knows,
or doesn’t know. Reassure her that female ejaculations are physiologically
normal. Reaffirm that they are natural and shouldn’t be
a source of embarrassment. Be open and honest. If you enjoyed
it, tell her so. If it excited you, tell her so. If you’re ready to go
again, tell her so. Promote sexual expression. Explore. Try new
positions. Be creative. Make it fun and loving.
Above all, make it good for both of you.
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Self-Application
In today’s market, there are many available sex-toys designed
to stimulate the G-Spot. Among these toys are vibrating eggs
(that can be inserted into the vagina), weighted balls that are
inserted and worn inside the vagina (during common or sexual
activities), and curved vibrators specifically designed to reach the
G-Spot.
However, women do not need toys to enjoy what the G-Spot
can offer. Self-stimulation is possible after finding a position that
comfortably allows access.
While a few women can manage to self-stimulate in a reclined
or supine position, most will find a squatted or sitting (with knees
apart) position more accommodating.
Why? The answer is simple. Though it may be more comfortable
“lying down”, reaching the G-Spot (while in this position)
requires a very flexible wrist, long fingers, and a short vagina.
There is also a second benefit to the “squatted” or “sitting”
position. Upon first-time stimulation of the G-Spot, some women
feel a sudden sensation of needing to urinate (discussed later in
the “Problem Shooting” section). This can occur even if the
woman has recently emptied her bladder.
To assuage the worry of accidental urination, we recommend
self-stimulating while either squatted in the bathtub or seated on
the toilet. These positions allow G-Spot access without the fear of
“accidents”. In addition, lubrication can be freely used, again
without the worry of creating a “mess”.
When self-stimulating, take as much time as needed to heighten
arousal levels. Whether it’s reading a sexy story, fantasizing,
playing with sex toys, or simply massaging the breasts and body,
do whatever raises your arousal and makes you feel that “ache”
or “emptiness” within your vagina.
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Once the vaginal craving begins to mount, you may begin
exploring for the magic spot described in the earlier steps. At first
touch the G-Spot may produce only mild pleasure. This is normal.
However, as you continue to massage the area it will begin
to swell and become more prominent.
Some women report that pushing down on the pelvis, just
above the pelvic bone, helps in locating the G-Spot. When you
believe you’ve located your special spot, move slowly. Whether
you’re using one finger or two, we recommend moving your fingers
in a slow, lazy circle, as if you were tracing the rim of a
nickel. Experiment. Try a light pressure at first, then a firmer
touch. Tease yourself as you go. Make it deliciously slow and torturous.
And above all, don’t overlook the pleasure you feel along
the way by rushing to the destination. Make the journey along the
G-Spot pathway erotic and pleasing.
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Exploring Other Possibilities
Before we expound on this topic, take a moment and congratulate
yourself again. Stemming from the newly acquired knowledge
you’ve gained from your investment in this book, you’ll find
yourself constantly aware of the G-Spot during all phases of foreplay
and lovemaking. And because of this awareness, you and
your partner will quickly learn to adjust and angle yourselves to
promote G-Spot stimulation and derive greater pleasure during
normal intercourse—something you would have never imagined
prior to reading this book.
“How can a man derive more pleasure due to the G-Spot?”
one might ask.
If you’re male and you’ve seen a G-Spot orgasm, the answer
to this question is blatantly obvious. For most males, the thought
of having the penis inside a wet, spasming, tightly contracting
vagina during G-Spot orgasm has unlimited appeal. And as you
and your partner grow more familiar with the G-Spot, you may
soon be able to cultivate G-Spot orgasms using the penis.
As an added benefit, as your partner grows more familiar and
comfortable with G-Spot orgasms, she’ll be able to attain them
with greater speed, more reliability, and in a variety of coital
positions, thus including the G-Spot in other realms of lovemaking,
forging ahead toward blended orgasms.
“So where should we start?” you might ask.
As we mentioned in a previous section, there are a variety of
sex toys available for stimulating the G-Spot. Most of these can
be used by couples, as well as by oneself. Beyond the joys these
toys offer, couples can also experiment with G-Spot-friendly
coital positions.
“What are G-Spot-friendly coital positions?”
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These are sexual positions that promote contact between the
G-Spot and the penis. While there are a variety of G-Spot-friendly
positions, the favored position is commonly referred to as
“woman on top” position. In this position, the male lies on his
back with legs slightly parted and extended flat. The female then
straddles him, facing forward. This position is favorable because
it is “face-to-face” and allows expression, kissing, nuzzling, and
stimulation of the breasts during intercourse. It also allows the
woman to angle her hips so the penis contacts her G-Spot. By
leaning forward or backward, the woman can adjust the pressure
of the penis against the G-Spot.
A second G-Spot-friendly position is a variation of the “missionary
position”. By placing a thick pillow (or two pillows)
beneath the buttocks of the female (so she’s lying with head
down-hill), the penis will contact the G-Spot during entry.
G-Spot/penis contact also occurs (in the missionary position)
when the male kneels of sits on folded knees, with his body
upright of nearly upright. Or if the female places her calves or
ankles on the male’s shoulders as he enters her.
Another position is “doggy-style”. If the male stands and the
female bends at the waist at a partial angle (such as leaning forward
with the hands braced against a wall) the underside of the
penis will contact the G-Spot. For couples who are near the same
height and enjoy sex in the shower, this is a very friendly position.
However, the angle depends greatly on the male’s penis.
While some penises stand straight out during erection (at a 90
degree angle to the body), others tend to stand more upright with
the penis head near the abdomen. In the case of the latter, the
woman must stand nearly erect (or the man must lean forward)
for G-Spot contact to be made.
Beyond these, there are numerous other positions that are GSpot
friendly. One couple reported their favorite position is with
the woman sitting atop the washing machine, while the man
stands facing her. They stated that during the spin cycle, the
machine caused her G-Spot and vagina to vibrate against his
penis, bringing both of them great pleasure and multiple climaxes.
They also stated that if she faced the washer and leaned forward,
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the machine would vibrate against her clitoris while he entered
her from behind.
Another couple stated they enjoy using a thin G-Spot vibrator
with ample lubrication. As the woman neared climax, she would
withdraw the vibrator and move it to her clitoris as her spouse
entered her, allowing them to climax together.
Endless possibilities abound as you and your partner explore.
And as you sample each pleasure, remember to also savor what
you feel along the way. Take time and make it fun. Enjoy what
the G-Spot can offer both of you.
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Problem Shooting
Pain or Discomfort
If at any point your lover expresses pain while stimulating her
vagina or G-Spot, stop the stimulation and schedule an appointment
with her gynecologist. Although the G-Spot can cause very
slight discomfort if massaged when not aroused, it should not
cause true pain.
If she expresses feeling minor discomfort, try applying an
approved sexual lubricant to prevent irritating the G-Spot’s surface.
Be sure you’re not rubbing the surface to vigorously. Also,
be sure your fingernails are smooth and cut short.
If she still feels pain or discomfort, she may suffer from a
medical condition such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory
disease, or a host of other potential causes. So a check-up with
the gynecologist is in order.
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Inability to Reach Orgasm
In rare cases, women simply can’t attain the G-Spot orgasm.
They’ll reach a point were they are close, where the “waves” are
building and fading and building and fading, but they simply
can’t crest over. This may be a physical problem but is most likely
psychological. If this happens with your lover, the first step is to
reassure her that you’re there. Make emotional bonding your
number one priority.
Second, if you haven’t done so already, pause long enough to
lubricate your hand and her vagina. Having ample lubrication can
make an incredible difference.
Third, if you’re absolutely sure she can’t achieve the G-Spot
orgasm, even with extra lubrication, break the “hand-abovebreast”
rule and try massaging the clitoris while you stroke her
G-Spot. Be patient and understanding. And if your attempt for a
G-Spot orgasm fails, you may wish to help her achieve a traditional
clitoral or vaginal orgasm. Retry the G-Spot orgasm on another
occasion. Afterwards, read the section titled “Emotional Aspects”
and then re-read the 10 steps to make sure you’re following the
instructions to the letter. You may even want to discuss G-Spot
orgasms with your lover. Some women simply won’t allow themselves
to “lose control” without understanding what’s happening
to their bodies.
Above all else, remember that orgasms are emotionally driven
for most women. Talking, kissing, holding, reassuring, and building
trust are each as important (sometimes more) than the physical
stimulus.
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The Urge to Urinate
Upon initial stimulation of the G-Spot, some women feel a
strong and urgent need to urinate. This can be either a legitimate
need or a “ghost sensation”, depending on whether her bladder is
full, partially full, or empty.
In the case of a full or partially full bladder, the pressure being
applied near the urethra and bladder neck can bring about a real
need to urinate. However, if the bladder was emptied recently, the
sensation may originate from G-Spot stimulation.
Many women report feeling the “ghost sensation” upon the
first few incidences of G-Spot stimulation. If ignored, the sensation
usually abates and is replaced with erotic sensations. As a
general rule, with repeated exposure and remembering to empty
the bladder before intercourse, most women learn to get beyond
this unpleasant sensation.
If your lover can’t escape feeling “ghost sensations” after several
attempts of G-Spot stimulation, a visit to her physician or
gynecologist may be in order.
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Orgasm Anxiety
Some couples set themselves up for failure through a condition
we’ve dubbed “Orgasm Anxiety” (OA). This condition occurs
when a person tries to “f***e” or “rush” an orgasm and inadvertently
inhibits the orgasm from occurring. OA frequently occurs
in people displaying certain behavior patterns: “Goal Seekers”
and “Performance Givers” are the two most common.
Our definition of a “Goal Seeker” is a person who focuses
strictly on achieving orgasm, placing little emphasis on the pleasure
to be experienced along the way. “Goal Seekers” often express
feelings of sexual frustration if they don’t climax during each
sexual encounter. Feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or selfishness
may arise if they need additional stimulation after the partner has
already climaxed—and any of these feelings can inhibit orgasm,
thus perpetuating the problem. Goal Seekers who race their partner
to orgasm and either “rush” or “try to f***e” the orgasm, suffer
from OA.
Opposite to “Goal Seekers” are the “Performance Givers”.
PGs are known for “faking orgasms”. While some people do not
feel the need to climax for their own satisfaction, they may feel
the need to orgasm to please their partner. It may be their partner
feels inadequate if the “Performance Giver” doesn’t climax;
therefore, a “Performance Giver” can develop OA even though
they don’t require orgasm for their own benefit.
OA is a good subject to discuss candidly with your partner.
Don’t let “Goal Seeking” or “Performance Giving” steal your
sexual enjoyment. Talk to your partner about each of you enjoying
more pleasure along the path of lovemaking. Since it’s very
unlikely that you’ll both achieve orgasm at the exact same
moment, every time you make love, discuss your feelings of
needing or giving stimulation after the other has climaxed.
Discuss the importance you each place on climax. You may be
surprised by what you learn.
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He Said / She Said
One common problem between couples is a misinterpretation
of “Foreplay”. This misinterpretation comes about because men
often think in physical terms while women often think in emotional
terms. For many men, “foreplay” marks the physical acts
which preface intercourse: kissing, touching, massage, fondling
the breasts, vaginal or clitoral stimulation, cunnilingus, etc. . .
These acts physically “ready” a woman for the “main event”:
intercourse and orgasm.
For many women, “foreplay” is primarily emotional with the
physical stimuli being secondary. Women often view foreplay in
wide and encompassing terms. Foreplay may range from spending
an evening together, to talking, to sharing hopes and desires, slow
dancing, or simply holding hands while walking through the mall
or watching TV. At some undetermined point, foreplay becomes
“Lovemaking”.
Consider this example:
Wife: “I’m almost afraid to kiss him. It’s like one kiss leads us
right to the bedroom. . .”
Husband: “She always complains that I jump right into it, but
I don’t. . . I kiss her, play with her breasts, massage her womanhood,
and give her plenty of foreplay before we ever start. . .”
This example clearly demonstrates the different perceptions.
The “wife” feels there is no foreplay or intimacy because there
was no emotional bonding prior to the physical. To her, the husband
“jumps right into sex” because he starts at the point she perceives
as the threshold of “lovemaking”.
On the other hand, the husband is frustrated because he understands
his wife’s need for “foreplay” and feels he has tried to fulfill
the need through physical stimulus (his concept of foreplay).
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If any of this strikes home, be happy about it. Recognizing
and accepting the problem is 95% of the way to resolve. What’s
important to realize is we can’t glorify one of these needs while
condemning the other. Neither can be deemed right or wrong.
They are simply differences.
If you sense there may be confusion about foreplay in your
relationship, have a candid chat with your partner about her
needs. Be sure to share your needs with her, too. You may be
surprised to learn how easily you can accommodate each other’s
needs while incidentally enriching and deepening your relationship.
Even if you don’t feel there’s a problem in your relationship, it
may help you to “shoot down” any troubles before they arise.
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The Emotional Aspect
In the world of accounting, there’s an adage that goes: “If you
torture the numbers long enough, they’ll tell you whatever you
want to hear”. “Truth” is much the same way. It can be distorted,
twisted, omitted, hidden, or fashioned to whatever suits us best. If
we manipulate the truth long enough, we’ll eventually convince
ourselves to believe whatever variation we’ve manufactured for
the sake of our own emotional comfort. We can convert the real
truth into a “falsehood”. In straightforward terms, we often lie to
ourselves and don’t mind doing so if it shields us from the emotional
pinpricks of life.
As we all know, the problem with self-deception is that the
real truth has a nasty habit of haunting us. The truth doesn’t care
what we think of it. Unlike us, it has no ego to bruise. It is simply
“the truth”, like it or not.
Of women we’ve polled, the leading cause cited for the inability
to obtain orgasm (of any type) was a lack of “emotional intimacy”
being established. In another study, when women were
asked: “What is it about sex that gives you the most pleasure?”,
the leading answer was “emotional intimacy; sharing feelings
with a loved one”. (This is especially true of Performance Givers;
their motive for intercourse is emotional bonding.) Second and
third rankings went to “touching and sensuality” and “orgasm”.
With such answers as “pleasing him”, “cunnilingus”, “clitoral
massage”, “fellatio”, and “the excitement” ranking far near the
bottom of the scale.
These two studies revealed two very simple truths: (1) that the
lack of needed emotional intimacy can prevent many women
from climaxing, and (2) that emotional intimacy is the engine
driving most women’s desire for intercourse.
If your lover was unable to reach a G-Spot orgasm, the most
likely reason is she didn’t reach a level of deep comfort. This is
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one of those nasty truths that most of us don’t want to face, since
it pains our ego. On the other hand, it’s better to bear the pain and
own up to the “possibility” and tackle it head-on, rather than lie
to ourselves. . . only to have the ugly truth rear it’s head again.
Whether your relationship is new or old, there is hope. The
efforts you have put forth will not go unrewarded. If your relationship
is new, it may be that she hasn’t yet established a comfortable
level of bonding with you. Perhaps she has reservations
left over from a previous relationship. Be patient. Earn her trust.
The positive factor is, you’ve lavished a wonderful evening on her
that will certainly leave a favorable and romantic impression.
She’ll undoubtedly greet you with a wide smile the next time
you meet.
If your relationship is more established, you may have overwhelmed
your partner with an uncharacteristic amount of tenderness
and bonding. She may have been expecting you to “drop a
bomb” at any moment and simply couldn’t completely relax. This
is especially true if sex has recently been a ritual.
So what are you waiting for?
Talk to your partner. If you enjoyed the evening tell her so
and ask how she enjoyed it. If you both agree that you mutually
enjoyed it, this is the perfect opportunity to plan for the next
time. Chances are, next time she’ll be more relaxed and
you’ll succeed.
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Tips From Experienced Users
While the 10-Step Technique has proven effective for most
people, it’s important to recall that we are each individuals. We
each have different likes and dislikes. We each have distinct
perceptions of life, personal experiences, our own spiritual views,
and subtle idiosyncrasies that make us unique. Like snowflakes
falling from a winter sky, we are the same when viewed collectively,
yet individual when examined more closely. We are “who
we are”, and no one is exactly the same as any of us.
Because of this, we encourage you to adapt the 10-Step
Technique to best serve the needs of you and your partner. Carve
your own niche. Be creative and adventurous. Make it upbeat and
fun. Be romantic and spontaneous. But above all, be the person
your partner fell in love with. Be the unique person you are.
Below are comments and tips shared by users of the 10-Step
Technique. In some cases, these individuals blazed their own
pathways to G-Spot adventure. Adapt what you can and enhance
your own G-Spot experience:
“My wife and I both work corporate jobs. After working 10
hours a day, fighting traffic during frantic commutes to and from
work, then getting through supper, housework, yard work, and
putting up with the day-to-day headaches of life, my wife and I
are exhausted by late evening. By 8:00 PM, we’re both ready to
sit back, relax, and unwind, then go to bed so we can do the
whole thing over again the next day. Often, we’re too tired to
even make love.
Because of this, on our ‘date night’ I surprised my wife with a
special treat. On Friday morning, I sent her flowers at work with
a note to expect a ‘very special and romantic’ evening at home. I
took the afternoon off, cleaned the house, made some preparations,
and had a candlelight dinner waiting when she walked in
from work. After the dinner, I prepared a hot bath and loaded the
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bathroom with scented candles. While she soaked and relaxed in
the tub, I cleaned the kitchen, put on soft music in the bedroom,
lit more candles there, and sprinkled the bed with rose petals.
When she finished her bath, I led her to the bedroom and gave
her a full-body massage with her favorite aromatherapy oils. I
started with her back, then the backs of her legs, then her feet. I
spent an hour or more just massaging and teasing her. It was a
great turn-on for both of us. By the time I finished the massage,
she was relaxed and in a casual state. The atmosphere was
romantic, and we were both aroused and in a sexually comfortable
state. It was the perfect lead-in to the latter steps of your
technique. From there, everything happened naturally.” - J.P.
“My girlfriend and I use the flavored body lotions you can buy
through adult catalogs. We like the types that feel hot when you
lick or blow them. She loves it when I tie her down, blind-fold
her, and then spread the lotion on her breasts and all over her
vagina. It drives her crazy when I suck her breasts and rub the
lotion on her clitoris and G-Spot. Sometimes I even alternate
between the lotion and an ice cube to really make her scream.” -
W.R.
“The key to success is the presence of romance. It’s much easier
to orgasm when you’re feeling loved and connected with your
partner.” - A. P.
“Sometimes the muscles in my forearm cramp-up while I’m
rubbing her G-Spot. I’ve found that keeping a G-Spot vibrator
next to the bed is a good idea in case my hand cramps. The secret
is to buy a thin one. Some of the vibrators available are so big
that when she starts contracting they become uncomfortable.” - K. R.
“The great thing about the G-Spot is you can do it nearly anywhere.
On our first ‘date night’, I was really eager and started
fingering my wife and massaging her G-Spot during the movie.
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She was moaning quietly and orgasmed within five minutes. It
was exciting for both of us because we were doing it in public.” -
Anonymous
“My wife and I like to lie on our sides in a 69 position. I can
perform cunnilingus and massage her G-Spot while she gives me
head or massages me with lotion. It drives us both crazy.” - R. G.
“Before we learned your technique, I had seriously considered
having my breasts augmented because my husband tended to
ignore them. I think that reading your book helped him grasp the
importance of kissing and fondling my breasts. Whether a
woman’s breasts are small or large, it’s usually very pleasurable
having them nuzzled and played with. I know several women who
feel this way. Stimulating the breasts is an important part of lovemaking
for me. Thanks for emphasizing this in your book.” - C. S.
“It’s critical that foreplay start long before you reach the bedroom.”
- Anonymous
“At first, my wife had a lot of trouble with the false sensation
of needing to urinate when she neared orgasm. We got beyond
this by doing it in the shower.” - C. H.
“If you want a thrill, have her lie on her back. Lie on your
side facing her. Have her throw her nearest leg over top your legs
so you can rub her G-Spot and slide your [penis] inside her at
the same time. That way, your finger is massaging her G-Spot
and your [penis]! When she starts contracting, it will drive you
both crazy.” - D. J.
“Keep a fresh towel and lots of lubrication in the bedroom.” - D. T.
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“The clitoris can really distract a women. Stay away from it
the first few times you use the technique. You’ll have time for it
later.” - R.B.
“For a real treat, try having her lie on her back on a table or
counter. Have her bottom positioned near the edge. If you squat
in front of her, you can hold her labia open and watch as she
orgasms and ejaculates. It’s amazing to see the juice flow down
your hand as her vagina contracts and sucks on your finger.” - T. W.
“I had a lot of misconceptions before I read this book. I
thought I could always hit a women’s G-Spot with my penis.
Although it stings the ego, it’s better to realize you were wrong
than continue being wrong.” - L. J. T.
“My wife uses a vibrator on her clitoris while I massage her
G-Spot and suck her breasts. Her orgasm is strong enough she
sometimes faints afterwards. She loves it.” - T. P.
“I love seeing my wife in a teddy, a garter, thigh highs, and
high heels. I’m a leg and breast man and that ensemble is a real
turn-on for me. However, before I learned your technique, I had
to beg my wife to dress up for me in her ‘play clothes’. Now she
meets me at the door in her ‘play clothes’ every day after work.
Thank you.” - D. L.
“The first time she came, it looked like she was about to give
birth. She hunched forward and all this fluid shot out of her and
splattered on my arm. I didn’t believe in the G-Spot until that
moment. Believe me, it’s real.” - T. J. S.
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“If you don’t succeed the first try, don’t give up. It’s worth it
when it finally happens. And it will eventually happen when she’s
ready.” - F. S.
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An Informative Interview
with a
Renowned Sex Researcher
A note from the author regarding this interview:
According to The Merriam-Webster Dictionary (Pocket
Books), the word “philanthropy” is defined as:
“an effort to promote human welfare; a charitable act or gift;
(or) goodwill to fellowmen...”.
When delving deeper into philanthropy’s meaning, a synonym
encountered is “altruism”, which is defined as:
“an unselfish act performed for the welfare of others”.
While “philanthropy” and “altruism” are very similar in meaning,
a subtle difference does exist in their meanings and usage.
“Philanthropy” places emphasis on the “act” of helping others. In
other words, when we donate our time or money to a charitable
organization, we are performing acts of “philanthropy”. Being a
philanthropist can make us feel better about ourselves and may
provide either public recognition or a nice break on our yearly taxes,
possibly both.
Like philanthropy, “altruism” also entails a donation of our
time or money in a manner that benefits a group, community, or
humankind in general. However, altruism takes the concept of
philanthropy to a higher level because it is performed without any
desire for self-recognition. Altruism is very unselfish. Anonymous
donations are altruistic acts, and in our present day “me-me”
world, such acts are rare, commendable, and
morally refreshing.
I have touched upon “philanthropy” and “altruism” because
the interview subject for this section displays both of these
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admirable traits and characteristics. While wishing to remain
“anonymous”, he or she unselfishly donated their own time and
effort...purely for the sake of insuring that you, the reader,
received accurate information. And because of my profound
respect for “Anonymous”, even though I wish to share recognition,
I have sworn to protect his or her identity. I can only say that
“Anonymous” is a world-renowned leader in the fields of sexology
and sexual research. And that disclosing his or her identity would
add instant creditability to this book. He or she is widely considered
an expert in this field, if not “the” expert of the field, and I would
urge readers to regard his or her interview answers as reliable and
well informed.
The Interview:
AUTHOR: I’d like to begin the interview by thanking you on
behalf of myself and readers for sharing your time and your
wealth of knowledge. Your unselfish generosity is commendable.
ANONYMOUS: You’re welcome.
AUTHOR: The first question I wish to pose is a preface to the
overall G-Spot experience: what elements do you feel are important
for a woman to achieve a G-Spot orgasm?
ANONYMOUS: A woman has to be comfortable with her body,
comfortable and willing to communicate with her partner, and has
to be willing to experiment with different positions of sexual
intercourse. Acceptance of self is very important. A woman also
has to be aware that she is responsible for her own orgasm, and
no one can give her an orgasm.
AUTHOR: If we can, let’s break that down a little more by
examining an “orgasm”. Exactly what is an orgasm?
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ANONYMOUS: It’s important to distinguish that in men,
orgasm and ejaculation are two different phenomenon and are
controlled by two separate nerve pathways. We are just beginning
to learn more about the neurophysiology of sexual response and
sexual behavior in women. As individuals, we say we know what
an orgasm is, but I’m not sure we know what it is. In layman’s
terms, there’s a stimulation of nerve pathways, a buildup of tension,
and then a release of muscle tension. And you do not have
to have physical stimulation for orgasm to occur. This can also
occur with mental stimulation.
AUTHOR: With that in mind, how do G-Spot orgasms differ
from clitoral or vaginal orgasms?
ANONYMOUS: There are physiological differences in that with
stimulation of the G-Spot, the uterus pushes down into the vagina,
the introitis of the vagina opens and there is a bearing down
sensation. With stimulation of the clitoris, the uterus pulls up, the
end of the vagina balloons out, and there are contractions in the
outer third of the vagina. Women report that an orgasm from GSpot
stimulation feels deeper inside, whereas an orgasm from clitoral
stimulation is more localized in the genital area.
AUTHOR: Do you feel that female ejaculations and the G-Spot
coincide?
ANONYMOUS: Not necessarily. In some women they are correlated,
in others they are not. In one of the early research articles
published on this, research showed a test subject had ejaculation
from clitoral stimulation and from G-Spot stimulation.
AUTHOR: Do all women ejaculate?
ANONYMOUS: Most women do have some expulsion of fluid
from the ducts and glands into the urethra. And this can occur
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during clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation or G-Spot
stimulation. The fluid goes either into the bladder or out of the
urethra as ejaculation. This has been documented by Dr.
Francesco Cabello of Malaga, Spain.
AUTHOR: What is known of the fluid women expel during an
ejaculation — where is it stored, what is it’s chemical makeup or
nearness?
ANONYMOUS: It comes from the female prostate gland, which
surrounds the urethra and has ducts into the urethra. It is made up
of glucose, fructose, PSA, and PAP.
AUTHOR: What health benefits or risks surround G-Spot
orgasms?
ANONYMOUS: The obvious benefit is it feels good. Risks
could be that someone trying to find it could cause trauma to tissue
with long finger nails or improper stimulation or not getting feedback
from the woman. Also, stimulation of this area produces a
strong natural pain blocking effect.
AUTHOR: About how far inside the vagina is the G-Spot?
ANONYMOUS: The G-Spot is found about half-way between
the back of the pubic bone (which is on the roof of the vagina)
and the cervix, and it’s along the course of the urethra. You have
to push into the upper vaginal wall to feel this area as it swells.
Use a “come here” motion with your fingers to stimulate the area.
It’s really hard for women to feel it on themselves unless they
have a short vagina and long fingers, because you have to bend
down, push up, and push in... although there are instructions on
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how to find it on yourself. It is difficult to say how far inside the
vagina you have to feel because the G Spot is felt through the
upper vaginal wall, not on it, and each woman is different.
AUTHOR: What would you tell people about finding the G-Spot?
ANONYMOUS: I don’t want to see people set up on finding the
G-Spot, or male multiple orgasms, or female ejaculation, or
imagery orgasm as a goal they have to achieve. We’re all unique
individuals. We all have different tastes in terms of the clothing
we choose to wear, the foods we choose to eat, the people we
choose to be with. I think it’s only natural that we have different
tastes in what we like sexually. And some women may not find
this area sensitive or erotic. Or it may be that someone is not
pressing hard enough on the area, because you have to use quite a
bit of pressure pushing up through the vaginal wall to feel the
area swell. Or they may have long fingernails or rough skin that
causes the women to feel uncomfortable.
What’s important is we need to be open and aware and help
people find whatever is pleasurable for them, whether that be G-Spot
stimulation, clitoral stimulation, or stimulation of other erotic
areas. And more importantly, we should enjoy the overall experience
and what’s felt along the way, not just focusing on achieving
an orgasm.
What we need to do is enjoy the experience, not just strive for
an orgasm.
AUTHOR: What would help women to learn more
about themselves?
ANONYMOUS: Men are given permission to touch their penis
when they urinate. But for women it’s more difficult. Many
women get the message as a young c***d: “don’t touch down
there”. And it’s very difficult for these women to learn about their
own bodies because they have been given negative messages
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about touching their genitals. And you can’t learn about yourself
without exploring and touching your genitals and without touching
other parts of your body. So women need to learn to be comfortable
touching their body for pleasure.
AUTHOR: What will happen if all women become orgasmic?
ANONYMOUS: There’s so much more to sensuality and sexuality
than orgasm. And women are often orgasmic now. But that’s
not the end-all. That is not it. It’s the relationship, the communication,
the caring, and the intimacy that are so important. And
don’t be threatened by a woman’s sexuality and sensuality, she’s
going to enjoy it and you enjoy her enjoying it.
AUTHOR: What can people do to increase their sexual response?
ANONYMOUS: I think it’s important for women to be aware
that they can take control and do some things that will help themselves...
not only in terms of mapping their bodies and being
aware of what provides them with pleasure. They can use the
Kegel exercises. The Kegel exercises are those that are sometimes
taught around the time of c***dbirth, before or after, to increase
the strength of the PC muscle. By increasing the strength of this
muscle, we find that there is a positive correlation with how
strong that muscle is and a women’s orgasmic response. That is,
women who have very weak muscles usually don’t have orgasms,
where women who have particularly strong muscles often have
multiple orgasms. This was documented by Graber and Klein-
Graber in the 1970’s.
To identify the muscle to use with the Kegel exercises,
become aware of the muscle you use to cut off the flow of urine.
You may want to test the strength of your Pubococcygeus or PC
muscle before you start the exercise program. Put two fingers into
the vagina, yours or your partners, open them up like scissors, and
then try to close them with your muscles. Don’t be surprised if
you can not do that.
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Start off the exercises slowly, contracting and relaxing the
muscles you use to cut off the flow of urination, slowly building
up the repetitions to 100 times per day. Then in a month, repeat
the test by inserting two fingers into the vagina and trying to
squeeze the fingers together to see if the muscle is getting
stronger. This is a good way for women to take control of their
health and their sexual response.
Not only is it good for women to do, they are also good for
men. Men can do the same exercise to increase sexual pleasure
and orgasm. Men have reported that their erections are stronger
after strengthening the PC muscle. By increasing the strength of
this muscle and then squeezing the muscle at the moment of ejaculatory
inevitability, some men can learn to have multiple
orgasms through preventing ejaculation. Here again, it’s important
to realize that ejaculation and orgasm are two separate phenomenons
and need not occur simultaneously.
AUTHOR: If a woman does Kegel exercises, will her vagina
be tighter?
ANONYMOUS: It may become tighter. As the strength of the
PC muscle increases she may feel tighter during vaginal intercourse.
And also, a very good way of doing the exercise is with a
penis inside the vagina. You’re then doing the exercises against a
resistance device, which is always more effective. And also, the
male will have pleasure and enjoyment from the stimulation of
the penis by the PC muscle.
AUTHOR: How can a man test the strength of their PC muscle?
ANONYMOUS: There’s a very fun way for men to test the
strength of their PC muscles. First of all, you want to do this in
private. When you start out, before you do the exercise, put a
tissue over an erect penis and lift it up. And most men will smile
and say “I can do that”, but that’s a pretty weak muscle. So after
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they do the exercise for a month or so [the same as the women do
by contracting then relaxing the muscle that stops the flow of
urination], they can try the test again. Then, they may try doing
the test with a wash cloth, and then a hand towel, and eventually
a wet hand towel. But don’t do the exercise with something over
the penis. This is just to test the strength of the muscle. The exercise
is for fun and sexual enjoyment.
AUTHOR: What affect does aging have on sexual response?
ANONYMOUS: There are some physiological changes during
the aging process. Men and women may take a little longer as
they get older to become sexually aroused. It may take longer for
men to have an erection and may take longer for ejaculation. For
women, it may take longer to have vaginal lubrication. Also,
women may not have as many contractions as they once did, and
the contractions may not be as strong. But instead of comparing
the process to how it was, it is important to enjoy sensual and
sexual as it is. Here again, the Kegel exercises can help in keeping
sexuality more vital.
AUTHOR: In closing, I’d like to thank you once again for sharing
your knowledge with readers. It is appreciated and I’m sure readers
can benefit through the information you’ve provided.
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Case Studies & Worksheets
Female Responses
Subject: A
Female, age: 49
Marital Status: Married/Divorced/Re-married
Subject: B
Female, age: 32
Marital Status: Married
Subject: C
Female, age: 25
Marital Status: Single, engaged
Prior to you (or your mate) having read this book, had you
experienced a G-Spot orgasm?
A: No.
B: No.
C: I’d never felt anything like it. . .
Before your first G-Spot experience, did you climax on a regular
basis through intercourse?
A: Yes and no. During my first marriage, I never climaxed and
hated having sex. My ex-husband was rough, selfish, and
impatient. Sex with him was painful and never a source of
pleasure for me. It was the sore point of our marriage. He
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called me “frigid” and he didn’t understand why I never
enjoyed sex. He acted as if something was wrong with me,
and after hearing it over and over, I began to believe him. I
tried talking to my mother and grandmother about the problem,
but found no support. They presented sex as the duty of a
“good wife” in fulfilling her husband’s needs and as a means
of procreating.
The first time I made love with my present husband, it was a
totally new experience. He’s patient and gentle, and I climaxed
several times the first night we made love. It was a true
awakening and gave me a sense of renewed self-confidence. It
made me realize that I wasn’t “frigid”—there wasn’t anything
wrong with me—and I wasn’t solely responsible for the first
failed marriage. Now, I nearly always climax. When I feel my
husband beginning to swell inside me, it throws me right over
the edge. And on the rare occasions when he climaxes before I
do, he helps me achieve by either continuing to move, oral
stimulation, or with sexual props. We never have a problem
because we talk openly and I don’t end up feeling “rushed”.
B: No. I can sometimes climax when my husband orally stimulates
my clitoris or uses a vibrator, but can’t [climax] with just
his penis. I need lots of cuddling and loving beforehand to get
me in a sensual mood.
C: Not every time. It depended on the guy. . . how I felt about
him and my mood when it happened.
How much did you enjoy sex before your first G-Spot orgasm?
A: With my second husband, I’ve always enjoyed making love.
B: That’s a hard question to answer. . . Our sex life was good, but
nothing like it is now. I guess I felt that something was missing.
. . like there should be deeper pleasure and intensity—do
you understand what I mean?
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(“Yes. . .”)
“I’d find myself reading romance novels and dreaming of
someday feeling the kind of pleasure those women feel. But I
wasn’t sure if that was real or merely the yearnings of fiction.
C: Sometimes I enjoyed it; other times, if I really liked a certain
guy, it was an easy way to deepen the relationship.
Can you describe the first time you experienced a G-Spot
orgasm?
A: Yes. I’ll never forget it. But where should I begin? Okay. Let’s
see. . . I’d have to say my husband blind-sided me with it. He
never gave me a single clue that he’d read the book or what he
was planning. He just asked me out on a “date”—and considering
that we’re married, I felt that his “asking me out” was
flattering. It was a very romantic gesture and I was looking
forward to making it up to him, come date night.
When our “date” finally rolled around, he surprised me by
coming home from work with a dozen roses. We went out to
dinner (which I loved because I didn’t have to cook or do
clean-up afterwards). Then after dinner, we went for a moonlight
stroll, then came home and cuddled on the sofa while
watching a movie.
I guess I was aroused because I had been looking forward to
“making it up to him” all week. And he was aroused too,
probably by his secret agenda. We ended up necking through
most of the movie—just like we were teenagers—until we got
home and I was so ready I stripped off my clothes and most of
his. I wanted him then and there. . .
Instead, he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, laid
me on the bed, finished undressing, and began kissing me all
over again.
In retrospect, having read the book now, I can see how he was
following the steps. But he was also concentrating his attention
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on me, and I could feel it. His attention was focused much
deeper than our regular love-making. We had a connection
going. It was almost spiritual. And even though I was ready for
him at any moment, I didn’t feel rushed, and loved what he
was doing to me.
He nuzzled and sucked my breasts until I felt like my whole
body was yearning for him. And by the time he finally touched
me, I thought I would explode. It was like tuning guitar strings,
tweaking them tighter and tighter until you just know that the
next turn of the knob they’re going to go. I can remember
pushing and thrusting against his hand, begging him to massage
me, yet loving the way he was teasing me.
When he finally entered me with his finger and began massaging
my G-Spot, the tension drained from me and I felt like I
was floating in the clouds. It was relaxing to have that hungry
void filled, while I was still highly aroused. I’m not really sure
how to describe it. . . It’s like hot and cold. He was sucking
and teasing my breasts, which made me yearn. But his finger
was fulfilling the void with every new yearning. It was heaven.
A few minutes into it, I could tell something totally new was
happening inside me. I don’t know how to describe it, but I
could feel an orgasm building and knew it would be much
deeper and much more intense than anything I’d ever felt
before. There was a great sense of building. I can’t put it into
words. It was scary. I wanted it to happen yet I knew I’d have
to let myself go completely to reach it. And that was hard to
do. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of my husband,
thrashing around or screaming. At the same time, I was
afraid he’d stop what he was doing and I’d be terribly disappointed.
He must have felt me tense up or something at that very
moment—maybe it was the connection we had. . . I don’t
know—but he said exactly what I needed to hear. He told me:
“Don’t worry. I’m here. I know what’s happening to you. I love
you. Just relax and let it happen.”
And I did. I could feel it building inside of me, like waves,
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each a little higher than the last. He continued telling me how
much he loved me and reassuring me. I’m not sure how he was
able to talk because I never felt his mouth leave my breasts,
but he did it somehow.
A couple of times I peaked out really high and was close to
cresting over. I wanted it to happen so badly, yet was afraid it
wouldn’t, and part of me was a little wary of it. But after the
third or fourth peak,—just when I started to think I wasn’t
going to make it—I felt this warmth start inside of me, spreading
outward from my core. I could feel it building and building
and building and I realized then, even if I wanted to stop it, I
couldn’t.
When it finally came I screamed and was squinting my eyes
closed so hard that I could see red. I could feel myself contracting
hard against his finger, trying to suck it in, getting
warmer and tighter and warmer and tighter. . . It was by far the
best thing I’d ever felt—better than I imagined. I don’t really
have words to describe it. It just felt so good and kept going
and going much longer than any orgasm I’d ever had. It was so
warm and so deep. . . I wanted it to last forever.
After what seemed like an eternity (which my husband later
told me was two-and-a-half minutes), it began to fade. I
became vaguely aware that the bed and the inside of my thighs
were very wet. For a minute, I wondered if I had lost control
and peed the bed during the climax. . . but I forgot about that
as my husband quickly removed his finger and inserted himself
inside of me. He was obviously highly aroused, was rock hard,
and began swelling almost instantly. His penis felt about three
times its normal size and he was marveling about how tight I
was. He came right away and his swelling threw me right over
the edge again and we climaxed together.
After we laid together panting for a few minutes and floated
back down to earth, I realized that the bed actually was wet.
Very wet. It was absolutely drenched. I felt certain I had lost
control of myself and was very embarrassed. That first time
was the wettest I’ve ever been. But he assured me I hadn’t
peed, that a stream of clear fluid had shot out of me and was
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gushing past his hand and splattering between my knees.
I would say I was skeptical, but skeptical may not be a precise
description of what I felt. I think “wonderment” is a more
appropriate term. I was astonished, stunned, and curious at the
same time. I had to examine some of the fluid on my thighs
just to reassure myself. It didn’t smell like urine and was clear,
with just a hint of milkiness. And it was slick—not as slick as
my normal lubricant, but not nearly as sticky as urine.
Afterwards, he explained how he had come across the book
and how it had piqued his curiosity. He showed me the book
and we read parts of it and talked about how women have the
ability to ejaculate (as I had).
I’ve got to admit, I loved him more right then than I ever
remember loving anything. What he did for me—for us—was
so selfless. And since then, our relationship has never been
stronger.
B: Not in a single word. It was the best thing I’ve ever felt.
(“Better than other orgasms you’d had?”)
Oh, yes. . . by a long shot. In the past, when my husband made
love to me, I’d get really keyed up about the time he was ready
to go to sl**p. The problem was, as soon as he came the “show
was over”. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here—I love
my husband dearly and enjoy making love with him—but it
was frustrating to watch him have such a fulfilling orgasm and
then fade off to sl**p while I was left tossing and turning and
wanting more.
On some nights I’d feel satisfied. Other times, one or two
orgasms just weren’t enough for me. The problem wasn’t the
quantity of orgasms, it was the quality. The depth. The orgasms
I had with my husband (and other men before my marriage)
just weren’t deep enough. They left me sensing there should be
more, which ties in with what I mentioned earlier about the
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romance novels and wanting to feel the deep satisfaction those
fictional women feel.
After that first G-Spot orgasm, I knew I’d found what I was
missing. I felt completely satisfied afterwards. I was drained—
(laugh)—literally.
C: Intense pleasure. That’s the only way I know how to describe
it. It was very different from anything I’d felt. As strange as it
sounds, I’m glad it hadn’t happened earlier in my life because
I wouldn’t have anything to compare it to.
After your first G-Spot experience, has it been easier or harder
for you to achieve G-Spot orgasms? And how do they compare
to the first experience?
A: The second time my husband tried the technique it took longer
for me to climax. I had a really hard time reaching it and
ended up “giving up” before it finally happened. I think my
husband had relaxed a little and wasn’t following all of the
steps to the letter. . . and in some ways, that was a reversion
back to our previous lovemaking. Not that it was bad before. .
. I just wanted to feel his focus and the emotional bond we had
the first time.
Part of the problem was my own, too. I wanted to feel the climax
so badly that I tried to rush it. But I’ve since learned that
this isn’t something you can make happen. Every time I tried
to f***e it to happen, it faded away just when I was ready to
crest over. It reminded me of a wanderer in the desert chasing
a mirage. You know? The faster you run after it, the farther
away it gets.
After getting really-really close five or six times, I gave up. I
began to cry because I was afraid that the first time had been a
fluke and I’d never get to feel another climax like that first one
again. Plus, my husband had been caressing the spot for about
45 minutes and I was feeling guilty and selfish. I knew he
wanted to climax, too, and I figured his hand was getting tired
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and was probably hurting. It was frustrating and made me see
the wisdom behind your advising people [in the book] not to
tell the woman about it beforehand. Once you know how good
it’s going to be, the apprehension is almost painful and can be
inhibiting.”
(“Did you eventually reach the climax?”)
Yes. I told my husband that I couldn’t make it and asked him
to stop. By then, I’d given up completely. I was very disappointed.
He stopped caressing my G-Spot and started caressing
my breasts and abdomen while we talked. He told me that I
was probably trying too hard and I just needed to try to relax
and let it happen naturally. I remember telling him that I couldn’t
relax because I wanted it to happen too badly, but was
afraid it would never happen again. I also told him I was feeling
guilty for how long it was taking, and he told me not to
feel guilty, that he enjoyed seeing me feel good. He told me
that he loved me and asked me if massaging the G-Spot felt
good even when I didn’t completely make it. I told him yes,
and I loved him, too. He asked if I would let him try again and
would just relax and enjoy what I was feeling at the moment
instead of focusing on the climax. By then, I was beginning to
feel a vaginal yearning again and didn’t need much convincing.
He teased me a little more and then began caressing my
G-Spot again. As soon as he touched it, I could feel another
wave start building, but instead of trying to make it come, I
tried to focus on what I was feeling. Within 30 seconds, I climaxed.
Since then, I’ve learned not to try to f***e it to happen. And
the more we do it, the easier it is for me. We’ve done it standing
in the shower, on the washing machine during the spin
cycle, the couch; anyplace works fine.
B: I had a few slow times at first. I had to be lying down and had
to make myself relax. But after the first few times it got faster
and easier. And now I can ejaculate right away and can do it in
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other positions. Once we did it while standing in the shower.
And sometimes now I have a G-Spot orgasm when I take the
top during regular lovemaking. It’s never been as good as the
first time it happened, but it’s come close and it’s still more
fulfilling than other orgasms. You won’t hear me complaining.
C: It keeps getting better and better.
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Male Responses
Subject: A
Male, age: 38
Marital Status: Married
Subject: B
Male, age: 34
Marital Status: Married
Subject: C
Male, age: 27
Marital Status: Single, engaged
Did you succeed on your first attempt to give a G-Spot orgasm?
A: Yes.
B: No.
C: Yes.
Approximately how long did it take from the beginning of the
actual G-Spot stimulation until the orgasm began?
A: The first time took about 45 minutes. About 30 minutes into it,
my forearm started burning and lightly cramping. It wasn’t
overly painful, but it was enough to cause doubts about the
system and my wife’s “supposed” ability to have a G-Spot
orgasm. However, I could tell something was happening with
my wife by the way she was moaning and moving and telling
me not to stop. I figured if nothing else, it was a great workout
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for the muscles in my forearm and a thorough test for the system
if I could keep it up a few more minutes. By the 40-
minute mark, my arm felt like it was on fire and I was having
trouble keeping my finger movement steady. This worked out
for the best because, by then, my wife had started urging me
to go faster. I could see the desperation in her eyes and I wanted
to go faster—and would have if I could—but my forearm
muscles wouldn’t allow it. It was the agonizingly slow pace
that pushed her right over the edge. Had I moved faster or
harder, I would have delayed her climax without realizing it.
The second time took a while, too. But since then we’ve gotten
faster and faster at bringing the climax about. Now, we can
often do it within 5 minutes. We can use other positions and I
can often insert myself just before it happens so we climax
together.
B: 20 minutes.
C: 25-30 minutes.
Have you always succeeded?
A: About 99 percent of the time.
B: Ah. . . no. I’m embarrassed to mention this, but when I first
got the book I didn’t read it. I scanned through it, looked at the
diagram, and tried stimulating my wife’s G-Spot the next time
we had sex. When I asked her how it was feeling she said it
was “different” and “unusual” and “it felt good” but nothing
seemed to be happening. She kept guiding my hand back to
her clitoris, so I stopped and figured the whole thing was a hoax.
A few days later I got to work early and my boss called on the
cell-phone and said he’d be running about half-an-hour late. It
was about 20 degrees outside and since I didn’t have a key to
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get inside, it meant I’d have to wait in the car until he got
there. I have to wonder if there wasn’t some divine intervention
going on because I’d hidden the book under the car seat
and had nothing better to do than read it. The funny thing is, I
finished the last page just as my boss turned into the parking lot.
As I read the book, I realized the mistakes I’d made and figured
it was worth another try, this time following the steps
instead of trying to muddle my way through it.
It went like clockwork. Since then, my wife has G-Spot
orgasms every time I use the technique and our relationship
has never been stronger.
C: Most of the time. I think it depends on the girl.
What was the most extraordinary or remarkable thing you
learned from this book?
A: I didn’t know my wife had the ability to ejaculate before I
read the book. I thought only a few women could “squirt” (as
they call it) and guessed these women had some type of physical
anomaly which allowed the squirting. It made them perfect
candidates for porn movies.
Now I’ve learned the opposite is true of what I believed. From
the book, I’ve learned that most women have this inherent
capacity. And it’s amazing that so many people are still
unaware of it. Totally unbelievable.
B: Before I read the book, I thought the whole G-Spot thing was
a hoax. I thought that my wife did ejaculate when she
achieved orgasm and it was a small amount that mixed right in
with her natural lubrication. I’m glad I was wrong! The first
time she had a G-Spot orgasm she drenched the bed. We were
in bed with the lights off, so I couldn’t see the fluid coming
out of her. But I could feel my hand and the bed getting
99
soaked. And later, when we turned on the lights to change the
sheets, there was about a foot-wide wet circle where she was
lying. I was shocked that all the G-Spot stuff was true.
C: The whole thing, the strength of the orgasm and the ejaculation.
The first time I did it, I was with an ex-girlfriend I’d been
dating off-and-on for about 4 months. We’d had sex a few
times and it was good, but not great. She was always quiet
during sex and would just lie there motionless and moan a little
bit. And then afterwards, she would act like I owed her
some big favor. But that first night [using the G-Spot technique]
was wild and different! At first she just started moaning
like usual. But her moans kept getting louder and louder
and she started saying “Oh, God, don’t stop! Oh, God, don’t
stop!” over and over. Then she started bucking and gasping
and kept getting louder and louder until she was screaming it.
I was loving it! I half-expected the cops to show up at any
minute because the walls in my apartment are paper-thin. But
she didn’t seem to care, she kept screaming. She looked like
she was in labor and was giving birth. Then she went dead
silent and was really straining and all this fluid started kind of
bubbling and flowing out of her. It was awesome. She followed
me around like a whipped puppy for a week afterwards
and wanted to do it all day and night.
What do you enjoy most about G-Spot orgasms?
A: Wow. That’s a tough question. There’s more than one answer.
For one thing, I like seeing the pleasure my wife is experiencing
and knowing that I provided that pleasure for her. It’s very
satisfying and it lends a certain sense of both love and power.
But it runs deeper than just that. Before I learned this technique,
when my wife would climax I never had distinct physical
signs to go by. She could have easily faked it and I’d have
no way of knowing differently. I simply had to take her word
for it. There were no distinct guideposts. When she neared a
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climax, her breathing would increase. I might feel a very slight
tightening in her vagina and her moaning would grow louder,
but that was it. There was never a clear beginning or end.
Now all the doubt is gone. I have undeniable physical signs to
go by. As she starts the climax, her vagina begins constricting
and squeezing against my finger so tightly that it threatens to
f***e my finger out! She’s so tight and wet and warm that it
drives me crazy. And then the fluid comes and her moans turn
to screams. There’s simply no more doubt about when the climax
begins and when it ends.
B: This technique has truly revitalized my marriage. My wife and
I are closer and more open now than we’ve ever been before.
Our sex life is great and our relationship is stronger than ever.
Our relationship changed drastically the first time she had the
G-Spot orgasm. I think it comes down to trust. When it was
happening, I realized that it was so extremely intense for her
that she was putting all of her trust in me, completely. She had
to let go fully and shed all inhibitions in order to reach it. By
doing that, she was handing me the reigns of control. She was
giving me all the power and trusting that I wouldn’t abuse it or
make fun of her afterwards or let harm come to her while it
was happening. And that even though she wasn’t sure what
was physically happening to her, she trusted me to guide her
through it.
When I realized just how much trust she was showing, it
touched me deeply. All the barriers that life had silently erected
between us crumbled. There was a new connection between
us. As new age as it sounds, there was a oneness. There was
complete trust. And now that we’ve developed this trust, we’re
free to play and try new things without fear of recrimination.
We don’t have all the inhibitions and reservations we had
before. We’ve taken our relationship to a higher plane.
C: A lot of things. Seeing women squirt and writhe and go crazy
101
with the pleasure. Feeling them get so wet and tight as they
convulse against your finger. It really boosts a man’s self-confidence.
You don’t have to wonder if you’re better in bed than
the last guy she was with, you know? Unless he knows this
technique, you know you’re better. And you can usually tell
right away, afterwards.
Did your lover know she could ejaculate?
A: No. She was stunned afterwards.
B: Are you k**ding? She couldn’t believe it. I had to show her the
book to convince her that she hadn’t lost control and wet the
bed.
C: Mostly no.
How much fluid does your lover normally produce when she
ejaculates?
A: If you want an average, I’d guess she produces somewhere
between a tablespoon full and half a cup. Although the first
time, it seemed like at least a cupful, maybe more.
To be honest I haven’t found any rhyme or reason to the
amount she ejaculates. Sometimes the fluid gushes out of her
and other times it’s little more than a trickle and hardly noticeable.
It doesn’t seem to coincide with the intensity of her
orgasm, either.
You know, I guess the same is true with men if you think about
it. I mean, the amount varies and the projection varies.
Sometimes we can shoot for two or three feet while other
times the sperm just spurts out of us.
102
B: The first time I did it to her, it was a lot. We didn’t measure it,
but she drenched the bed so much that we had to change the
sheets. Since then, the amount has varied. Some nights she
really drenches the bed and some nights it just kind of oozes
out of her.
C: Women put men to shame. They say that men usually make
about a teaspoonful of sperm. But most of the women I’ve
tried this technique on drench the bed. I’d say it’s usually a
cupful.
What other comments can you share with us?
A: I’m still in awe of the G-Spot. It amazes me that I’ve been
sexually active for 21 years now—since I was 17—yet I never
found the G-Spot. Considering that I had several girlfriends
before I got married, plus 15 years of marriage and having sex
2 or 3 times a week, it just boggles my mind that I—we—
never came across it! And now that I know it exists, it’s
almost embarrassing to think that it’s been there all along. It’s
incredible because I can see how I could have passed through
my whole life without ever knowing about it, had you not
shared your information in this book.
B: Your technique has changed my life and my marriage for the
better. Thank you. You don’t know what a difference you’ve
made in mine and my wife’s lives.
C: I wish you would stop selling this book so other guys wouldn’t
find out about it.
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The Ending Climax
Pat yourself on the back. Whether or not your first attempt at
the G-Spot orgasm is successful, you’ve done two great things.
You’ve spent a little time and money to unselfishly help your
partner feel the ultimate in female pleasure, a noble act indeed.
And you’ve made an investment in yourself, gaining knowledge
that you can carry throughout life, knowledge that can be used
time-and-time again to deliver the ultimate in female orgasms.
104
Voluntary Questionnaire:
Part 1
A Study of the G-Spot
To aid us and your partner in making strides in G-Spot orgasms,
we encourage all readers to complete the following survey or mail
any personal comments or questions. Mail should be directed to:
Donald L. Hicks
P. O. Box 734
Powhatan, Virginia, 23139
105
Part 1
(To Be Filled Out By the Person
Who “Applied” the G-Spot Stimulation)
Your age: ___ Your sex: ___
Race: -White -Asian -Native American
-Black -Hispanic -Other__________
1. Did you read the entire book?
-Yes
-No If you answered “No”, which part did you not read,
and why?___________________________________________
___________________________________________________
2. What was the most extraordinary or remarkable thing you
learned from this book?________________________________
___________________________________________________
3. Before reading the book, were you aware of the
G-Spot’s location? -Yes -No
4. Were you aware that females can ejaculate? -Yes -No
5. Did you find the book easy to follow? -Yes -No
6. Can you suggest any way to improve this book? -Yes -No If
so, how?__________________________________________
7. Was your first attempt at applying the G-Spot orgasm successful?
-Yes -No
If not, how many attempts were made before you succeeded? ____
Did you eventually succeed? -Yes -No
106
8. If you succeeded (on any attempt), did your lover ejaculate? -
Yes -No
9. If your lover ejaculated, how much fluid did she produce? -A
Trickle -About a teaspoonful -A Tablespoonful -A cup -She
drenched the bed sheets
9. Approximately how long did it take from the beginning of
actual G-Spot stimulation until the orgasm began?
____ Hours ____ Minutes.
10. Approximately how long did the orgasm last? ___ Minutes
11. Was your lover surprised by the intensity of the orgasm?
-Yes -No
12. Was your lover surprised to learn she could ejaculate?
-Yes -No
13. Which of the following choices best matches your lover’s
reaction after the orgasm? (Choose up to three).
—Joyous/Elated —Thankful
— “Lovy”/Romantic —Frustrated
—Embarrassed —Shy
—Ready for more —Satiated/Fulfilled
—Surprised —Angry
—Curious —Other:__________________
What other comments can you share with us?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
107
Part 2
(This section is to be completed by the female who
received the G-Spot stimulation)
Your age: _____
Race: -White -Asian -Native American
-Black -Hispanic -Other__________
1. Do you typically orgasm during foreplay and/or intercourse? -
Yes -No
2. If you typically orgasm, how many times do you normally
orgasm (on average) during intercourse (foreplay included)?
- 0 to 1 - 2 to 3 - 4 to 5 - 5 or more
3. How long is your average orgasm?
- Average (8 to 19 seconds) ___ Seconds -Unknown
4. What do you feel is the most predominant source of
your orgasms? -Clitoral Stimulation
-Originating from the vagina
-Other:__________________
5. Did you experience a “G-Spot” orgasm when your partner
applied this technique? -Yes -No
108
6. If yes, how did you feel afterwards?
—Joyous/Elated —Thankful
— “Lovy”/Romantic —Frustrated
—Embarrassed —Shy
—Ready for more —Satiated/Fulfilled
—Surprised —Angry
—Curious —Other:__________________
7. Did you ejaculate? -Yes -No
8. Prior to the ejaculation, did you know females have the ability
to ejaculate? -Yes -No
9. How did this orgasm compare to previous orgasms you’ve had?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
10. Was there anything you did not like about the G-Spot orgasm
or the technique your lover used?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
11. What other comments can you share?
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
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12. On a scale of “1 to 10” with “1” being least pleasurable and
“10” being most pleasurable, how would rate orgasms you’ve
experienced from the following.
(use “0” if never experienced)
A: Clitoral Stimulation ___
B: Vaginal Stimulation ___
C: G-Spot Stimulation ___
All comments gathered through this survey become the property
of Hooked on Books. Hooked on Books shall not use any names
or other information that disclose the identities of the individuals
in the survey.
110
Optional Disclosure
Name: ______________________
Email Address: ______________________
Address: ______________________
City: ______________________
State: ______________________
Zip: ______________________
Country: ______________________
111
Resources for Further Research
Reading Materials
Highly Recommended Reading:
The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality
by Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry (1982)
Dell Publishing
A Div. Of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group. , Inc.
Other Recommended Reading:
The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study on Female Sexuality
by Shere Hite (1976)
Dell Publishing Co. , Inc.
The G-Spot in Words and Pictures (1988)
by Feliz G. Berger
Orion-Verlag
Secrets to Sensual Lovemaking: The Ultimate in Female Ecstasy
by Tom Leonardi (1998)
Signet
Published by the Penguin Group
112
Web Sites
1. Sexual Health.com - http://www.sexhealth.com
This site is a great information resource. It allows visitors to
ask questions, browse topics, videos, and products. It also has a
board of sexual “experts”.
2. Women.com - http://www.women.com
Women.com has a host of channels (including a sex channel
and a health channel) and both articles and information available
regarding women’s health, interests, and sexuality. There is a
great deal of focus on Orgasm and “The Moan Zone”, “Great
Vibes”, etc... It also has links to Redbook, Cosmopolitan, and
eHarlquin (for more of the same).
3. The Kinsey Institute - http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey
The Kinsey Institute has a host of research publications available,
along with upcoming events and sexology links.
4. The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and
Ther****ts (AASECT) - http://www.aasect.org/about.cfm
A non-profit professional organization of sexuality educators,
sex counselors and sex ther****ts, AASECT members include
physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, allied health
professionals, clergy members, lawyers, sociologists, marriage
and f****y counselors and ther****ts, f****y planning specialists
and researchers, as well as students in relevant professional
disciplines. These individuals share an interest in promoting
understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior.
5. Lover’s Lane® - http://www.loverslane.com
Lover’s Lane is a tasteful adult resource, geared toward couples.
They offer adult books, apparel, and sex toys.
113
Key Words Glossary
A
analgesic An agent for producing insensibility to pain.
anterior Located in the front; the front wall.
B
blended orgasm Multiple orgasms occurring simultaneously.
bonding The act of growing emotionally united.
C
climax The highest point; orgasm.
clitoris A small, highly sensitive organ at the anterior or
ventral part of the vulva, homologous to the penis.
D, E, F
elucidate To make clear by explanation; to bring to light.
female ejaculation The expulsion of liquid from the urethra.
female prostate Also known as the Skene Glands or paraurethral
glands; A network of glands and ducts surrounding
the urethra and bladder neck.
G
G-Spot The Gräfenburg Spot. A highly sensitive area located
on the anterior wall of the vagina. This spot was named
by Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. John Perry, after
Dr. Ernst Gräfenburg.
114
G-Spot virgin A woman who has never experienced
a G-Spot orgasm.
ghost sensation A false sensation; in the context of this book, a
false feeling of the need to urinate.
Goal Seeker Individuals who focus on achieving orgasm each
sexual experience and are discontent if orgasm does
not occur.
gynecologists Doctors specializing in diseases and hygiene of women.
H
hovering Floating; to be in an uncertain state. In the context of
this book, to hold the hand above sensitive areas of the
partner’s body to create sexual anxiety.
hypothesize An assumption made in order to test it’s validity.
I
immunohistochemical Of or relating to the application of histochemical
and immunologic methods to
chemical analysis of living cells and tissues.
innervate To supply with nerves; to arouse or stimulate (a nerve
or an organ) to activity.
introitis The first part of a mass; often the opening.
J, K
kachapati A rite of passage reportedly practiced by the Batoro
tribe of Africa, through which adolescent girls were
taught to “spray the walls” and thus graduate into a
state of nubility.
Kegel exercises Exercises designed to strengthen the pubococcygeus
muscles.
115
L
labia Folds of fatty or vascular flesh bounding the vulva; the lips;
often broken down into the Labia Majora (outer folds) and
Labia Minora (inner folds).
M
magic triangle The area of the genitals covered in pubic hair.
monolithic A social structure exhibiting solid uniformity.
N, O
obstetricians Physicians who specialize in pregnancy
and c***dbirth.
orgasm A climax during sexual excitement.
Orgasm Anxiety A condition characterized by chronic fear
of not attaining orgasm during intercourse.
P
paraurethral Adjacent to the urethra.
Performance Givers Persons feeling the need to orgasm for the
benefit of their sexual partner.
physiological The science dealing with functions of living matter
or beings; the functional processes in an organism
or any of its parts.
pubococcygeus muscle A muscle group that acts to help support
the pelvic viscera, to draw the lower end
of the rectum toward the pubis, and to
constrict the rectum and female vagina.
116
Q, R
retrograde ejaculation In the context of this work, the occurrence
of fluids ejaculating backward into
the bladder instead of being outwardly
expelled from the urethra.
S, T
safer sex Practices minimizing contact with bodily fluids
or reducing the risk of contracting sexually
transmitted disease.
sexual response Response to sexual stimulus.
Skene’s glands A small mass of glands and ducts surrounding
the urethra; often considered as the female
prostate glands or paraurethral glands..
stimulation To arouse, excite, or make more active.
U
urethra The canal that carries urine (to egress) from the bladder;
also serving as a passageway for the ejection of male and
female ejaculate.
USI Urinary Stress Incontinence. The loss of control or restraint
of the bladder.
uterus The womb; An organ of the female for containing and
developing fetuses.
V - Z
vaginal marksman A sexual partner who’s goal is to initiate
vaginal stimulation upon the first permissible
opportunity, often in haste.
vulva The external genital parts of the female.
117
About the Author
Donald L. Hicks
Donald Hicks is the author of three novels, numerous newspaper
and magazine articles, and award-winning poetry. He attended
Southern State Community College and is a devoted researcher of
human sexuality and intra-couple relationships.
Together with their dog and cat, Donald and his wife of 20
years live on a rolling farm in rural Virginia. They are both currently
working on new novels.
118
Materials Used in Preparing This Guide
Bibliography
The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality
by Alice Kahn Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry (1982)
Dell Publishing
A Div. Of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group. , Inc.
The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study on Female Sexuality
by Shere Hite (1976)
Dell Publishing Co. , Inc.
The G-Spot in Words and Pictures (1988)
by Feliz G. Berger
Orion-Verlag
Secrets to Sensual Lovemaking: The Ultimate in Female Ecstasy
by Tom Leonardi (1998)
Signet
Published by the Penguin Group
119
Endnotes
i Stoff, J. A., M.D., and Clouatre, D., Ph.D.: The Prostate Miracle, New
Natural Therapies That Can Save Your Life; Kensington Pub. Corp.;
2000
ii Whipple, B., Ph.D., RN, FAAN, and Komisaurak, B. R., Ph.D.:
Beyond the G Spot: Recent Research on Female Sexuality; Psychiatric
Annals 29:1, pgs 35-57; January, 1999
iii Singer, I,: The Goals of Human Sexuality; Norton, New York, 1973
— and/or — Singer, J., and Singer, I.: Types of Female Orgasm; The
Journal of Sex Research, 8; 1972
iv Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and Other
Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pgs 140-154; 1982
v Hite, S.,: The Hite Report; Dell Publishing, pg. 618; 1976
vi Ogden G.: Perceptions of Touch in Easily Orgasmic Women During
Peak Sexual Experiences; San Francisco, Institute for Advanced Study
of Human Sexuality; 1981. Doctoral Dissertation.
vii Whipple, B., Ogden, G., and Komisaruk, B. R.: Physiological
Correlates of Imagery Induced Orgasm in Women; Arch. Sexual
Behavior, 21(2):121-133; 1992
viii Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and Other
Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pgs 70-71; 1982
ix Addiego, F., Belzer, E. G., Comolli, J., et al.; Female Ejaculation: A
Case Study; The Journal of Sex Research, 17:31-21; 1981
x Zaviacic, M., Dolezalova, S., Holoman, I. K., et al: Concentrations of
fructose in female ejaculate and urine: A Comparative Biochemical
Study; The Journal of Sex Research, 24: 319-325; 1988
xi Belzer, E. G., Whipple, B., Moger, W.: On Female Ejaculation; The
Journal of Sex Research, 20: 403-406; 1984
xii Sensabaugh, G. R., Kahane, D.: Biochemical Studies on “Female
Ejaculates”. Presented at the meeting of the California Association of
Criminologists, Newport Beach, CA; May, 1982
xiii Zaviacic, M., Whipple, B.: Update on the Female Prostate and the
Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation; The Journal of Sex Research: Vol
120
30, No 2, pgs 148-121; 1993
xiv Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and Other
Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing; 1982
xv Addiego, F., Belzer, E. G., Comolli, J., et al.: Female Ejaculation: A
Case Study; The Journal of Sex Research, 17: 13-21; 1981
xvi Leonardi, T.: Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The Ultimate in
Female Ecstasy; Signet, pgs 101-103; 1998
xvii Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and Other
Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pg 81; 1982
xviii Cabello Santamaria, F.: Female Ejaculation, Myth or Reality; in J.
J. Borras-Valls & M. Perez-Conchillo (Eds). Sexuality and Human
Rights: Proceedings of the XIII World Congress of Sexology, Valencia,
NAU llibres., pgs 325-333; 1998
xix Zaviacic, M., Zaviacicova, A., Holoman, I. K., and Molcan, J.:
Female urethral expulsions evoked by local digital stimulation of the G
Spot: Differences in the response patterns; The Journal of Sex Research
24: 311-318; 1988
xx Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and Other
Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing, pg 69; 1982
xxi As stated per Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J.: The G Spot and
Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality; Dell Publishing (1982), pg
75, shown as reference #4 involving a personal communication by Phil
Kilbraten, anthropologist; Bryn Mawr College, April 26, 1980
xxii Muller, J., et al; The Myocardial Onset Study; The Journal of the
American Medical Association; May, 1996
xxiii Whipple, B.: Sexual counseling of couples after a mastectomy or
myocardial infraction; Nurs Forum, 23: 85-91; 1987/88
xxiv de Graaf, R.: New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of
Women; Journal of Reproduction and Fertility, H.B. Jocelyn and B. P.
Setchell, (eds), Oxford, England, pgs 103-107; 1672
xxv Gräfenburg, E., and Dickinson, R.: Conception Control by Plastic
Cervix Cap,:pgs 337-338, 1950
xxvi URL = http://www.indiana.edu/~kisiss/topten.html; The Kinsey
Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, Inc.: 1998-
2000
121
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