Paysites in panic - xHamster launched FREE adult dating!
Save this post in 'My Favorites'BaybehLove's Blog » Real-Life Cyber Sex
Well hung:
Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart:
I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung:
I'm 6'3" and about 12 stone pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from C & A. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart:
I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung:
OK
Sweetheart:
We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung:
I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart:
I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung:
Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart:
I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung:
I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart:
I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung:
My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart:
That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung:
I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart:
Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe harder and harder.
Wellhung:
I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart:
I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung:
How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp
Sweetheart:
I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung:
I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart:
I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung:
I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart:
What?
Wellhung:
I'm so sorry; Really.
Sweetheart:
I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung:
I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop
Sweetheart:
OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung:
I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart:
I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung:
I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart:
What's the matter?
Wellhung:
I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart:
Are you OK?
Wellhung:
I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart:
Can I help?
Wellhung:
I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart:
In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung:
I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart:
Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung:
I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart:
I'm on the bed aching for you.
Wellhung:
I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart:
Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung:
I found it.
Sweetheart:
I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung:
Me too.
Sweetheart:
Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung:
Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart:
Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung:
OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart:
I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung:
I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart:
Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung:
I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart:
I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung:
I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart:
What's the matter now?
Wellhung:
I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart:
Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung:
OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart:
Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung:
I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart:
I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung:
I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart:
What?
Wellhung:
I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart:
I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung:
I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart:
No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung:
No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart:
I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung:
I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart:
Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung:
Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!




Comments
Kama Sutra Guru
comments: 581
January 14, 2012, 8:45 pm 
hahahahahaha that's awesome.

Pornstar
comments: 1275
November 28, 2011, 7:26 am 
haha, this is great.

Porn Lover
comments: 63
October 6, 2011, 7:35 am 
Is this real? Hilarious. He described your breasts as "neat." And the odd peeing routine and being limp... wow. If you made this up, you should write a screenplay for a comedy. If genuine... I can only feel sorry for "wellhung." Very funny either way. Bravo!

Kama Sutra Guru
comments: 848
September 9, 2011, 7:29 pm 
I laughed so hard tears rolled down my cheeks!!! Thanks for the bright spot in my day here!

Porn Expert
comments: 246
August 6, 2011, 2:49 am 
ROFL that's awesome!

Pornstar
comments: 1214
August 4, 2011, 8:56 pm 
So funny, and so very true!

Porn Expert
comments: 307
August 2, 2011, 5:49 am 
deep down inside everybody knows that ol sex sucks; it's like a badly acted or scripted interactive sex story. a webcam does improves it a lot; but in the bitter end you know that you're only wanking to something slightly less fantastic; ie, still not keeping it real. it's almost like a fetish all onto itself. funny posting though; i lol'd at how to fail even more at cybersex!

Porn Expert
comments: 476
July 27, 2011, 7:24 pm 
buahahahahahahaha You are incredible! ;];];]

KainTheDa...
retired
July 27, 2011, 12:59 pm 
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
holy shit!!! this is awesome

now that's how cyber sex should be!!!

Newbie
comments: 1
July 25, 2011, 2:52 pm 
this is hilarious, had me in tears from laughing so hard

Celebrity
comments: 4536
July 12, 2011, 7:25 pm 
Honestly the funniest thing I read/seen this month, maybe year. Had me hooked from "...it smells funny".

Celebrity
comments: 2227
July 11, 2011, 10:42 pm 
I'm just wondering..who's that laundry humper guy?!
And whaaat is he doing?
Hide your clothes Mina!
All of them! =OP

Kama Sutra Guru
comments: 935
June 29, 2011, 9:46 am 
brilliant!

Pornstar
online
comments: 1113
June 27, 2011, 9:47 pm 
Priceless... lol

freebird63
retired
June 26, 2011, 11:49 pm 
lmao

storywriter
retired
June 26, 2011, 4:31 pm 
omg I LMAO'd all over the place!!! She stayed there longer than i would have.. he had me at the bra clasp id have thought he was 12 or something bahahahahahahahaha def fav lol

Pornstar
comments: 1783
June 25, 2011, 3:21 pm 
I love stuff like that, reminds me of the classic one with the wizard hat. ^^

Celebrity
online
comments: 3614
June 25, 2011, 1:05 am 
Great piece, thank you for sharing it

Lalabear
retired
June 24, 2011, 10:16 pm 
Hysterical!

Celebrity
comments: 2043
June 24, 2011, 10:10 pm 
Hahaha! This is hilarious! Where did you find this? I might have to add this to my favorites just for the fun of it! :)

1
Please, login or register to post comments.