Well hung:
Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart:
I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung:
I'm 6'3" and about 12 stone pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from C & A. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart:
I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung:
OK
Sweetheart:
We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung:
I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart:
I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung:
Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart:
I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung:
I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart:
I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung:
My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart:
That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung:
I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart:
Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe harder and harder.
Wellhung:
I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart:
I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung:
How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp
Sweetheart:
I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung:
I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart:
I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung:
I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart:
What?
Wellhung:
I'm so sorry; Really.
Sweetheart:
I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung:
I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop
Sweetheart:
OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung:
I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart:
I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung:
I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart:
What's the matter?
Wellhung:
I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart:
Are you OK?
Wellhung:
I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart:
Can I help?
Wellhung:
I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart:
In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung:
I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart:
Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung:
I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart:
I'm on the bed aching for you.
Wellhung:
I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart:
Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung:
I found it.
Sweetheart:
I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung:
Me too.
Sweetheart:
Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung:
Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart:
Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung:
OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart:
I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung:
I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart:
Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung:
I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart:
I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung:
I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart:
What's the matter now?
Wellhung:
I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart:
Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung:
OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart:
Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung:
I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart:
I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung:
I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart:
What?
Wellhung:
I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart:
I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung:
I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart:
No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung:
No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart:
I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung:
I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart:
Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung:
Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

There are some fetishes I don't quite understand...IF you're into them, I invite you the opportunity to enlighten me. Not saying that I'll have a light bulb moment and suddenly wanna try it. I'm totally curious (slightly disgusted in some cases)

1 - Ramming random household object into your openings.
Why?? Why would anyone enjoy this? Why be that guy in the ER that lost his potatoes inside himself? "I was makin' dinner and suddenly I had the urge to stuff a dirty potato in my ass. Now here I am and starving." This is not good people, I've seen some crazy shit here. I've also seen women\men with GIGANTIC toys?!? How does anyone find this attractive? Check her out, she just put a Volkswagen in her vag, I'm sure I can please her with my less than average cock. *blinks*

2 - Pregnancy lust
Now, let me first say I think pregnant women are absolutely beautiful. Husbands\boyfriends of pregnant women SHOULD find them sexy & hot. To have a pregnancy fetish of just random preggers women is strange. I can even maybe understand men enjoying lactation. I don't quite get the "OMG that big belly makes me go rock hard" That's an infant in there...does that not cross the mind when getting off? If so that's pretty sick. What happens though? After 9 months you have to develop a new fetish or move on to another chick?

3 - Gaping
This is just nasty and goes with #1. Your insides are IN your inside for a reason. I don't get the speculum thing either. This is like having an orgasm over a colonoscopy.

4 - Pissing\Shitting
I'm pretty sure a lot of detail onto why this is gross isn't really necessary. I've had the great fortune of not coming across the shitting on here yet. I HAVE seen 2 girls one cup though. I CAN say it was gross, but I did prepare myself for the absolute worst...and not much grosses me out. It was pretty bad though.

5 - Tit fucking
If you think women actually love this you're sadly mistaken. I mean I obviously can't speak for all women, but its really not good. It's one of those things that sounds really hot tits & dick just sound like a good thing, right? No. This doesn't disgust me, I just don't get it. It's also selfish :P

6 - Men that treat the vag like a lottery ticket
THIS is awful. I know not everyone enjoys nice & gentle and whatnot, however IF you think its okay for you beat the hell out of a clit then its okay for me to kick you in the nuts. k, thanks. Gentle is key here, its so much more enjoyable. There's also slapping?! Whaaat? Stop that now. lol

7 - Sounding
Why would anyone do this? I really need an explanation here. Sticking screw drivers and whatever you may find into your urethra kinda sorta goes along with #2. It's excruciating to watch, I can't even imagine how it must feel.



I'll probably add more...when I think of it, I'm just kinda curious about these...since they're on my 'list' of dislikes.

I'm amused by people that use very obvious fakes. What's the point here? If you're going to google "HOT GUY" or "BIG COCK" at least dive a few pages in. Don't use one of the first page. I assure you, most of the ladies have already done this, and we know you're a fake.

The majority of jobs ban places like this (and facebook), so what else do we have to do @ work other than change the safesearch to "off" on google and try to find some sorta porn that way?

I'm very aware that this is not going to stop the fakes, just a tiny two cent rant.