Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

My pride

We met at a bar, I’d been drinking a bit more than I should’ve, I was ready for some action, I hadn’t seen my lover in a week and was I was ready for a fight. Never got one. –all I got was a good beating. He was sober and he took me to his place. He wants me to obey, he wants me to call him master, and honestly; I want that too. In most of my fantasies and daydreams I long to please and obey. But in real life, as it turns out, I have a really hard time doing just that.
He commands me to call him master. I don’t. He commands me to undress. I don’t. I don’t even know why, cause I rea... Continue»
Posted by miatrondheim 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical.....23

Theatrical…..23
Friday morning had arrived and I was once again hyper, running around trying to control my sex drive at the thoughts of having him between my legs that night, I was trying to get ready as well making sure that everything was perfect, my attention to detail was meticulous making sure that when he stripped me he would discover all kinds of goodies and fences to cross to tease him, not too much but just enough to get him inside me, “as though he needed any encouragement” I mused,
I had already established that he was a very unselfish lover, his sole aim in life seemed to be to... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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The Audition 3

The Audition Part 3

Davey The Bear.

As both video and photo cams moved in for a close up I put my face close to Dennis' big boner. I picked it up and said "Watch
this everybody!"

We were now ready for my hot blow job scene which is exactly what I gave them.

All Dennis had to do was sit there and groan with pleasure.

********************************************************************************

Show time at last!

The camera was rolling and my screen test had begun.

I pulled up my skirt and drove my big lady stick deep into Dennis' hairy as... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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just a fantasey of mine

ok, this is the hotty half of fall guys couple, so this story is from my point of view. its just a fantasy so far.
darkness. the soft caress of silk on bare skin. the subtle sent of bergamont in the air. i lay tied to the bed, soft silk scarves pinning my arms and legs wide apart. another scarf covers my eyes, darkening the room to nothing even though i know candles burn. an intricately tied series of more silk scarves harness my body, tightly holding me like a lover. the knots are placed just so, and just tight enough that they tease and torment my erogenous zones, but offer no relief.... Continue»
Posted by fallguy74 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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the traffic jam wank

Hello everyone again. Diary time again. This goes back to when we were just married and is from one of her last diaries, its one of the few stories that I was in! M came off the pill 15 years ago and since then, apart from a couple of deliberate occasions, I can’t cum inside her so we find alternative ways of bringing each other off. We both enjoy playing so the tenderness of being close together telling sexy stories ticks so many boxes. A number of yeas ago we had gone north to see my parents and were driving back home to London down the motorway. We had set off early in the morning to get b... Continue»
Posted by roman64 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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SUNBURNED IN SAN DIEGO

Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:

"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?

Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Party House

Years ago there was a fun party house my friends and I use to hang out at. A mutual older friend owned the place. It was a drafty old farmhouse secluded in an urban area. Almost every night someone would buy a keg of beer and people would just seem to show up. It was a great time in my life I was young and carefree now I miss those days.

I first met Dave at the party house and at first glance I found him rather unappealing. He was just an average looking guy, with not a lot to offer. I barely acknowledged his presents at the parties most of the time. He is kind of a bulky built guy wi... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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First time... kind of. still!!

My previous and first story was left off with my gf and I getting it on behind a movie theater. So I'll still keep some stories of this same girl again. My Girlfriend (Lisa) at the time was still trying to hold on to her virginity because of her religious background but she still wanted to have anal sex..just this time not in the dead of winter like the first time...so after her and I had our first anal experience behind the movie theater, our school week was dedicated to teasing each other while at school. We would grab each other going to classes as a game. Example of it was id be walking to... Continue»
Posted by Placebo_Effect 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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RIGHT PLACE BUT WRONG TIME..

I met this girl at the store about two weeks ago. We talked on the phone for awhile before she invited me to her house which was about an hour away. The next morning she picked me up and we went there. The girl didnt waste no time getting down to business. We fucked in the bed on the floor and in the shower.NOW this happend every day but one day i noticed these shoes and wondard to myself whose were they but i diddnt say anything. The next time i went routine as usual,we made it the shower and as im pounding her ass from behind someone walked in the bathroom guess what it was her boyfriend. He... Continue»
Posted by MJG007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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shaving my arse




Guest


Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS



STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Posted by chairmanmoo 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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A favour for Misty 4

A favour for Misty 4
You remember I have just been called its late afternoon and I am in the company of her indoors and I don’t know what the silly cow has hatched with Misty, I am freshly showered , recently slept and a worried man as she who must be obeyed has as yet not spoken on the subject of the big fat lady over the road who is a devoted sub and a sex mad maiden who we have rescued from committing suicide!...with me so far or do you want time to re read parts 1,2 and 3? Ok here we go again then.
Realising I have committed the silly mistake [in my defence I had a hangover from the e... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 6 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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24

Ever hear that old rap song “It was a Good Day” by Ice Cube?

The song refers to that one inevitable day that every one has where everything goes “right”, you can’t make a mistake and you have the luck of the Irish.

Well, I recently had one of those days. It was probably one of the greatest days in my life.

For a little background on me (to put things in perspective) … I live and work in San Francisco. It’s a great city, but I have what is deemed bad karma. My friends tease me by calling me “Peter Parker” because I’m a little bit klutzy and always have some trouble with the ladies.
... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Get Your Man Into Eating Your Pussy


A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,

1. Initiate Sex:

Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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From Tony to Tonya part 2

Tony woke up on Saturday morning feeling excited without knowing exactly why. He tried to sit up, but his left arm was pinned down by Sarah's body. This was normal for a Saturday morning, since she tended to sl**p at Tony's house on Fridays.

The reason he was excited suddenly hit him. On Tuesday, Sarah had told him they were going shopping today. This had been right after a great fucking-session in which Tony had been dressed in Sarah's old school uniform and she'd fucked him with a strap-on dildo. It had been a very kinky evening.

Very carefully and gently, Tony extracted his arm from u... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 9 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Flaunting It At the Frat Party

Flaunting It At the Frat Party


The name is Tolden. James Tolden. There are three things you need to know about me.....
One:
I am tall. My towering height of 6’9” made me a natural for basketball, and my talent made me a star.
Two:
I am hung like a Bull Elephant. The same early growth spurts which gave me height, also added copious inches to my manhood, which was well-sized to begin with.
Three:
I am not above humiliating a lesser man. I’ve done it lots of times. This was the first.
I had been invited to my first Frat party my freshman year of ... Continue»
Posted by jkd1111 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Oil be damned!

(Based on fact but mostly fiction. Hope you enjoy.)

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body. As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. When that happens it usually means they are busy... Continue»
Posted by Bulletin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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i love myspace

ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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European Closeness

-------- European Closeness --------

I met an older but very attractive woman, Tascha, at a local shopping center. Her middle European accent, exotic looks, and damned good figure and legs caught my attention, and I did my very best big strong young soldier act on her, helping to reach an item on a top shelf for her. I pulled the old gag about being an ignorant bachelor, not knowing what to select for supper. Smiling, she joined me in shopping and helped me fill my cart, making suggestions for easy to fix, tasty, good meals. We found ourselves getting along very well, and she invited me... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Dark Nites

DarkNites I


The slap reverberated around the room. Jason gritted his teeth trying
desperately to keep hold of his temper. Daphne started towards the door but
Jason caught hold of her wrist, his eyes steely.

"You're not going anywhere until we've got this settled. Daphne
glanced coolly at his hand and then back to his face. Then she brought her
foot down on his. Hard.

Jason gave a furious growl and exploded into action. Grabbing her,
he swept her off her her feet and headed toward the bedroom. Daphne
gasped in anger.

"How dare you!", she bit out, starting to jerk and kick as... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 5 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Oh, to be young again

A man walks into a d**g store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men
use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks,
"Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pac... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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