Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

Lovers

The moment her soft, trimmed blonde mound came into view, I ran my mouth over it, and she whimpered loudly. I was surprised at how wet she already was – her slit glistened openly, her hips lifting slightly even at that gentle touch. I couldn't help looking up at her with my mouth poised over her. She was watching me. There was open desire in her eyes now, and her nipples were visibly hard.

Then my mind re-focused on that detail, as my eyes wandered downward, drinking in the sight of Diane's beautiful naked body for the first time. Creamy shoulders, high, firm, smooth breasts with tight, dar... Continue»
Posted by Irish-Sally 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 494  |  
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The Devil And The Golfer

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to
sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth
of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be
meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him
in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK."
And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an
eagle on this hole."
The same stranger ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 493  |  
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Love in a Elevator

I had been working with D&O Inc. for three years. My office was on the sixteenth floor of the Federal Building downtown. Last week I almost missed the elevator when a beautiful woman held it for me. I recognized her from accounting her name was Tess; she had long dark brown hair, and big brown eyes. I thanked her as I got in the elevator but I wasn't sure she even knew who I was.

"Hello, my name is Tess," she said in a deep voice, eagerly extending her hand in friendship. Her perfume filled the elevator. The smell of her was so enticing it started to give me a boner. "Yes I know, I'v... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 497  |  
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DrPervy's Pussy Eating 101

Now this is 4 the niggas that eat pussy (or at least try to lol).......let me start off by sayin there is a rite & wrong way to eat pussy.....if a girl ever say it hurt while you eatin her out you doin sumthin wrong (how you can make it hurt idk....but sum females have told me that sum niggas made they pussy hurt while they was eatin it lol).....now you cant juss move your tongue up &down & actually think you doing sumthin cuz you not especially if you not in the rite spots....take it from a pro ((ME)).....movin your tongue up & down is borin.....you gotta go from side to side & vibrate yo ton... Continue»
Posted by DrPervy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 493  |  
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Part 2

Anyway where was I ah yes I was on all fours on the bed a finger inside my wet pussy then another slid in, then as he circled and made my arse ole wet with my juices he slipped one in my arse obviously a nice feeling I could feel my body rocking with his movements then it happened I suddenly stopped moving I was supposedly a little embarrassed not realising what just happened until he said god u just squirted everywhere first time for everything I suppose he got so turned on by this he turned me round and repeated what he had done and I just gushed all over his face he loved it however I wasn'... Continue»
Posted by Hollysuckscox 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 493  |  
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Cuckold Excitment

My wife has cuckolded me our entire marrage. I enjoy when she allows me to watch but to be honest I enjoy hearing her tell me about one of her encounters even more. This story is one she and I had a few days ago. We where invited to the company she works for Christmas party. It was semiformal , I wore a tie and jacket and she wore a little black dress. She has great legs and she really loves to show them off every chance she gets. The dress had short sleaves and was low cut in the front , just low enough that with her pushup bra she had two beautiful round 34 B tits on display. But what real... Continue»
Posted by woreout 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  Views: 493  |  
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Smoking TV tart. Part 2.

The knock on the hotel door meant he'd arrived, and as I slipped on my cool plastic mac, being careful not to dislodge my long talons, it helped to conceal the stiffening bulge under my tight plastic skirt. I opened the door, to a tall dark stranger, enveloped in a long shiny, double-breasted rubber mac. He grabbed my arm, gently linking, and, without speaking, I tottered along carefully, in my new boots, past reception, and into his big black BMW. My heart was thumping, and the pulse throbbed even tighter down below. We set off, and he simply said, "Smoke. You fucking slut." It was hard, with... Continue»
Posted by HonorAnneDObey2 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 493  |  
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Space Alien Girlfriend Goes Home



I met Angelica at my favorite Sports Bar. She was beautiful and I was dumb struck by this petite Scandinavian blond with an absolutely perfect body. Well, after a few days I got to know Angelica, our first evening ended with me getting a blow job at her place. But this is only the beginning of a new lifestyle that would change my life. You see Angelica is a space alien from the planet Gliesie, the closest habitable planet to earth. She told me that both Earth and Gliesie were biology experiments by a race of super beings. Gliesie, the more peaceful planet thrived and mastered the science o... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 492  |  
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The Italian Job 5

She stirred and pressed the bell beside her bed, the maid came in carrying a bottle of water and a bottle of wine with glasses, she set them down on the coffee table and left snatching a brief glance in my direction, I moved to the bed and poured some water for both of us then handed Roseanna a glass she was quieter now and more settled, I put the sheet over her, leaned down and kissed her, she opened her eyes, they were glazed, she turned her face up to me and I kissed her on the mouth as her tongue came out seeking mine, my cock lurched and we were up and running again.

OK!!!!!, OK I’ll t... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 491  |  
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Fucked Landlord's Daughter-In-Law On Diwali

My landlord is a retired colonel and has after his retirement he has built a huge home that anyone would rather call an apartment. More because of his two sons out of whom none was living in India. The younger was already working there but the elder had recently moved abroad. So as his wife could not get Visa and also the winters were approaching so her movement was postponed until a good time might come.

Meanwhile she used to teach music and dance to young girls while living in Pune and she was herself a very bright lady. She was young and aged only 26 or 27 years. She was beautiful too... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 492  |  
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Mortal Kombat

All my Stories are absolutely true

2011, June 17
About 10:10pm


In the early nineties the first Mortal Kombat released and became one of the most popular games through its extreme v******e and splatter-effects. It was published the almost the same time as Street Fighter 2 and therefore was a big rivalry between those two games. Back then you either were a Street Fighter or a Mortal Kombat Fan. Well, that time I only was two years old and far away from the audience of those games so I initially began to play for real in the year 2008 with “MK vs. DC Universe”. After I decided for myself... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 490  |  
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Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy

Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy
Written by irish4skin
Starring
Mandy Muffin as herself
Josephine James as herself T-Girl Candy Surprise as herself
MILF Delilah as Linda Herrin T-Girl Carla Novaes as herself
Corina Curves as Dr. Carolyn Dick T-Girl Elisangel as herself
Donita Dunes as herself Sasha Grey as herself
T-Girl Adriana Rodriguez as Salina T-Girl Mariana Cordoba as Sama... Continue»
Posted by icemanrisen 3 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 490  |  
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Nur Geil

Im Hausflur begegnete mir mal meine Nachbarin, sie ist schon etwas reifer, deshalb aber keineswegs unattraktiv, sie strahlt einfach dieses Frauliche aus, kein Mädchen mehr. Wie ich anhand ihrer Einkaustüten sah, war sie auf dem Weg zum Supermarkt, da mein Auto derzeit etwas fahruntüchtig ist, fragte ich frecher Weise, mit einem sympathischen Lächeln, ob sie mich mitnehmen würde. Sie freute sich, da das Einkaufen an sich, ja eher langweiliger Natur ist, halt ein notgedrungenes Unterfangen. Ich brauchte nicht viel, so waren wir mehr mit ihren Sachen beschäftigt, als mit meinen. Wir alb... Continue»
Posted by Fordig 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 489  |  
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A Vivid Unreal Dream

The other night I had such a vivid dream, but it was so surreal. I have to tell you about it.
I was at an afternoon party at my s****r's house. The whole f****y was there. It was like a f****y reunion. My other b*****rs and s****rs, and almost all of their c***dren and grandc***dren were there also.
I must tell you that I am in my mid-forties, married, without any c***dren of my own. I am the youngest of my siblings by several years. Many of my nieces and nephews are my age or just a few years younger than me. As we were sitting and moving around, I was teasing and playing with my grand... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 488  |  
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In Military Service

Chapter One: The Surprise

Daniel was an 18 year old soldier fresh from boot camp. He had been trained for military service with the Atlantic Alliance Army - a major world organization with open military world operations. He was about to be sent out to his first assignment aboard a small ship called the Virginia, stationed off the coast of China in the North Pacific. The A3 consisted of personnel from all over Europe, North America, and English influenced international locations such as Japan. He was going to meet up with his squad, and begin his career as a "mercenary peace keeper", perform... Continue»
Posted by Ferguson2010 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 486  |  
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Cure for a bruised ego

"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.

"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.

"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."

We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."

"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"

"Just go!"

We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 486  |  
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Honors Anatomy Class

This story is a fantasy. All those described are of the age of consent. The story includes nudity (naked male, clothed female), adolescents engaged in sexually provocative activities with adult supervision, detailed description of the male anatomy including the reproductive organs and male ejaculation. If you are offended by any of these elements or concepts, please do not read this story.

Honors Anatomy Class

As Timmy dressed in the locker room his mind was focused on the note he had been sent by the Science teacher, Miss Springer, that morning. Right after gym, he was to rep... Continue»
Posted by trowe 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 488  |  
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Beautiful Nightmare (Palace of the Damned)

I had only been waking a little way now the terrain was slabbed with burning torches, I was so close to the palace of Emperor Longdong, in fact I could see up ahead to shadowy figures coming towards me, more Penis Warriors well I had nothing to fear might as well check out the cocks.
"Hello Gents" As well as being naked except for me bag and shoes, reckoned that would get their attention, it did they stood either side of me and spoke in their growly tongue "You are the one everyone has been looking for" the one on the left spoke.
"Am I Big boy, well now you found me, reaching my hand inside ... Continue»
Posted by DiamondLife 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 488  |  
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Tube Rendezvous

I check my watch: 10.31 perfect, I step onto the 3rd carriage of the tube at Oxford Circus, Central Line heading west. I check my mobile again, the text reads "10.31 Central line, 3rd carriage, OC, no undies ;) Bunty x"

I make my way to the corner of the packed tube, looking for the blonde haired woman, but no sign. At the next stop a sudden rush of people exiting and a new hoard entering. Suddenly I notice a shot of blonde hair moving towards me. The woman is close and has her back to me, she is dressed in a black jumper, black skirt, black stockings and a red jacket. I have a Gant shirt, ... Continue»
Posted by tallguy222 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 485  |  
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Fun Fantasy Game *Enjoy* Be Creative

If you could be the hottest shemale that ever walked the earth for one day what would you do ? Im talking

*5'7
*Beautiful Face, somewhat of Megan Fox or Lacey Chabert
*Pretty green eyes
*Nice lips
*Nice smile & white baby teeth
*140 lbs
*Very feminine voice
*Small girly hands & feet
*Long Hair (Brunette)
*About one shade darker than Pale skin
*Nice tight butt
*Boobs with no visible surgery scars
*And a small penis, just small enough for you to wear bikinis on the beach

Of course I want to hear your story's so i will make mine short,(Get all their email addresses)I would b... Continue»
Posted by guess1tw3ll 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 483  |  
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