Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

Mule Balls






An American couple on vacation with some friends in Mexico were
shopping at the market to bring back a few souvenirs to their f****y
and friends. Time passed, and the couple realized that neither of them
was wearing a watch. They noticed this little Mexican man taking a
siesta next to this mule, which had the largest set of mule nuts they
had ever seen.
Trying not to stare at the huge mule nuts, they asked the little
Mexican man, "Excuse us, but could you tell us what time it is?"
The little Mexican man reached his hand under the enormous set of mule
nuts and, li... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I finally bought a pack of Magnums

I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening Part 5

Trevor woke the next morning feeling invigorated. The previous days escapades had put a spring in his step, several in fact. As he descended the stairs to the kitchen below he couldn't help but whistle a jaunty tune.

Good morning f****y! He said bursting into the kitchen.

Well someone seems happy this morning! Ellen said, before taking a swig of coffee.

You are correct Mother dear, I have never felt better in all my days! Trevor said with a grin

so what are you gonna do today b*o? Jack asked.

Why don't you come to work with me son, they've all been asking about you? Carl said.
... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Chris Grffin pt 1

Chapter 1

This story is just something I made up when I was bored. It's not supposed to be good or bad,just an idea that popped into my head. Also, it's not canon to my other f****y Guy fanfiction,The Unknown Griffin, so don't expect to see Cindy, Britney or Jessica here. Enjoy this...thing.

Hello. You mayhave heardabout me. My name is Chris Griffin, and not much is known about me. I'm mainly considered a "space occupier", among other things, but that's only because everyone's too busypaying attention to either Brian, Stewie or Peter. There's a lot more to me than what is seen on the sur... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Goddess Of Fertility

The Goddess of Fertility

I used to work with a guy called Melvin. He was a lovely, happily married man with one
problem in his life. His beloved wife and he were finding it difficult to conceive.

I was I think 25, he'd have been about 40.

They began a programme of IVF at a private BUPA hospital not far from our workplace.

Each of them had to go on there from time to time, for the removal of her eggs, and
of course, for him to provide his "sample" for the procedure.

He used to tell me this in a very matter of fact, jocular fashion. He had to pop out
or take an early lunch a... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The back story of Kim from the bar.

Well, Here's a new one for you.



I met Kim right during the middle of my run as a bartender. I was in full stride by that time, fucking everything I could anytime I could.

To be honest I don't really remember much about Kim herself, other then that she was a College student, and lived on campus. She showed up at the bar one night with some friends and I managed to convince her to call me. She actually did! Anyway, As I was in my prime, I was already fucking 3 or 4 other girls at the time. The Waitress April was about a month in, Laura the Milf was on call about anytime I wanted, an... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 11 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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MY HOSTEL LIFE

Since I don’t have any boyfriend in my life even till this age, this has made me and my dreams quite wild. Adding to my wildness I have never had any sex experience as well before, I’m all new, so my story gonna be FANTASY only. I hope you people like, I have so many wild fantasies which I want to share with you people through ISS but only if I’ll get good response on my first story. I just want sex, a good sex, doesn’t matter whether I get it by Men or Women. So this was my Intro, I know a bit long but since it is my first time, it was required.

Now, wasting no more time, I come to the sto... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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No Screwing

A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground... Continue»
Posted by Deecee29 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Mandy's Milk

ADULT. Not for selling.

By Jay Jay


1: Accidental Introduction

Mandy could not believe she was falling victim to her own devices. Had she never pushed her father into the 21st century, she would not be in the predicament she is today. Mandy was born and raised on the f****y farm. She had left to go to college and had returned after gaining dual degrees in Computer Technology and Financial Accounting. But in the five years since she had left the fourth generation dairy farm; it had become apparent that the farm was in severe jeopardy. As she worked on her acc... Continue»
Posted by Enteme 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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me and my wife

I love my wife and I love her big tits and fat ass and I like to play her big tits and cumming them.But I like to see pics and videos with big tits and big fat asses. I think to myself that every man likes.Sometimes I jack off to pics and videos.My wife does not know about it.I take pictures my wife while sl**ping.She has got very big tits.Someday in the morning I am going to take picture her big tits and I was griping by my hand her big tit and another I was going to take picture suddenli she was wake up and she was be very angri for me.I would like to give my wife's big tits to my profi... Continue»
Posted by jimi12 6 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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5 Tips to Keep Your Girl Happy

When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.

These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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one hot wet night

Driving down a long dusty country road with the tunes blaring, we spend a quiet afternoon. The music is lightening our spirits and I reach over a stroke the inside of your leg. Rubbing it in small circles, up the inside of your thigh and then back down to your knee. I lean over and tell you I love you and am enjoying this time together.

Along the way we find a small secluded grove of ancient oaks, beckoning us to pull up and stop... to commune with nature. You can't fight the f***e that beckons you and pull into the cool green canopy. We get out of the truck and I walk over and take your h... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The walk in park. The real story.

This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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UNCOMFORTABLE ...

My Wife and I felt very uncomfortable with a situation to be happened a few years ago ...

There was a business meeting with a supporting programm for golfers. So, we decided to go together there ...

We worked hard at day an had a funny evening in the wine yards benath RHINE, Germany ...

And, as always, we belonged to the last at the bar ...

You have to know, that SHE can squirt as hell, when she is in the right mood ...

This night she was in the right mood, and so were I ...

Next day we had business as usual and in the afternoon some golfing ...

The next and last morning, ... Continue»
Posted by vulkanasche 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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GUY'S PRIZE-WINNING "HANK BURGERS"

GUY’S PRIZE-WINNING “HANK BURGERS”


It wasn’t more than a few days after I met him than I learned that Hank liked to cook. So we sat around in his Arkansas trailer in the hills above Hot Springs, sucking each others’ dicks and watching Food Network.

On a Saturday morning, I was fucking Hank’s ass over the sofa in his trailer, and what comes on over his satellite TV but fucking Rachel Ray! Man, does she have cock-sucking lips- all glossed up and everything. For a minute, Hank and I stopped banging just to look at her. We laughed at each other, both of us experienced enough to recognize a... Continue»
Posted by cigardad4dad 4 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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truth or dare

I am not sure who suggested truth or dare but we all seemed up for it.

There were 6 of us all together you me and two other couples.
It started pretty tame, truths about hoe many people we had slept with, telling fantasies ect .....
I think everyone was getting a bit horny from listening to all this talk if sex and with quite a few drinks down our necks we were all up for some dare's!
One of the girls seemed a bit apprehensive when you asked her to show how she gives head on a banana so we came to an agreement that we would have teams. Boys against girls.
We all did the dare, i showed ... Continue»
Posted by nicecock23 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Doing it Yoga Style

Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.

He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.

Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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