Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

Self Service

(With a little help, he sucks his own cock)

After reading some erotic stories from men who enjoy eating their own cum, I was very aroused, though I've never been much into that. I never even like kissing my wife after she gave me head. For some reason I just couldn't shake these thoughts.

One day after reading some very hot stories, I needed to jerk off. In one of the stories a man sucked his woman's pussy after she had just been fucked by 2 other guys. This got me wondering again if maybe I was missing something, so I decided to try tasting my own jiz.

However, after I came, this des... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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SURPRISED VISITORS, THE HOT TUB, AND OUR SNOWY MO

I had rented a rustic cabin, up on snowy Mount Rainier, for this past weekend. Tatiana and I wanted to get away from neighbors, friends and f****y. And spend some quality time alone together, in a remote and intimate environment.

Saturday morning, while we were making love, we decided it would be fun and exciting, to continue our amorous efforts in the hot tub out side the cabin. Tatiana didn't need much convincing, she ran naked, out the door, across the deck, and jumped into the hot tub. I was right behind her. Tatiana is eleven years younger than me. Anyway, that's my excuse why she ... Continue»
Posted by RutgerIvanus 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Peter's Pointer

It was nearly midnight and Molly was bored out of her mind. Her friend Peter was here and he insisted that she took the bed. It was extremely hot out but that didn't seem to bother Peter. They chatted about school and parents for awhile until Peter changed the conversation to relation ships...
"So who's the lucky guy that gets to spend lunch with you?" asked Peter mockingly.
"Peter shut up.. you know I don't have a boyfriend.. and what about you and Sarah?" Tutted Molly with a hint of jealousy. Peter laughed and said something about breaking up with her a couple days ago but something else ... Continue»
Posted by sluef 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Friends: Achieving Phase Three

FRIENDS: Deleted Scenes - Achieving Phase Three

Since Ross and Joey were unavailable, the girls had taken Chandler to a strip club to help him get over breaking up with Kathy. "Getting to Phase Three" is what the guys called it. Unfortunately, things didn't go well, and Chandler was still despondent as they returned to his apartment. Kneeling around him as he sat in this favorite chair, they tried to get him to talk about his feelings, but that didn't work either.

"Okay, look, I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave," Chandler said firmly.

Monica objected, "Come on! Chandler!"

"Look... Continue»
Posted by dudeman_85 10 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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To Be Kneaded Like This Was GREAT!!

I am a 61 year old man living in Florida who has always been healthy and rarely ever sees a doctor. However, about 6 months ago I had an auto accident that caused an injury to my neck. After my surgery, part of my recovery included physical therapy and massage therapy. I found a good physical ther****t and worked out diligently 3 times per week. After a week of working out and feeling a bit tight I remembered the massage script and checked the phone book and one ad caught my eye. There was a ther****t not even 5 miles from my home so I called and made my first massage appointment. However, the... Continue»
Posted by Margar 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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ProfNigma Stories #5: If Wishes Were Hornets #9

iCarly/Victorious: If Wishes Were Hornets #9 – Freddie

"I wish Jade and Sam could be combined into one person so I wouldn't have to choose."

Freddie Benson was having a really good morning to say the least. He couldn't believe that his wish came true, but the woman whose head was now bobbing between his legs truly was everything he had hoped for. He had been woken up by, who he thought was Jade, but as he looked down, he saw light brown hair and quickly realized it was someone else. Once the covers were pulled back, he could see her completely, as she smiled up at h... Continue»
Posted by FrankSinner 4 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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Sarah and Daniela


This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.


Toggenburg Thirty.

“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Haze Balls! I fucked my pledge's girlfriend

That party was sick b*o. Glad you came out. Sucks you had to keep the fire going last night, but its pledge ship you’ll get used to it. Anyways while everyone was hanging out by the fire I asked your girlfriend Erin to give me a ride to the store so I could get a pack of cigarettes. She was looking so fucking sexy. Those slutty heels and that short black dress. Dude you’re lucky. Anyways I asked her how ya’ll were doing when she took me to the store.
She complained about how you were always doing stuff at the fraternity house for pledge ship. She says she never gets to spend any tim... Continue»
Posted by MonsterFish 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The first day to school, part 1.

The first day to school, where I really do not feel like after that wonderful weeks on vacation in Rome.
I really reluctantly went to school and then I had to also introduce my self to all the new people. Phew!
I pulled me nothing and looked around to find. Place a free Back I saw an empty seat and I walked past the other students back to the table at the back of the room, where I then took place.
I looked a bit around me and saw people chatting with each other, it was mainly girls I saw sitting.
Completely in the other corner of the room I saw a girl like me who, it seemed, no one kne... Continue»
Posted by soesar 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Heavenly Mother



It was a dark and stormy night. Rain was coming down in sheets and wind was sweeping it around furiously. Doors and windows were trembling against the onslaught of both air and water; as was Nitin because of the resulting cold.

It was a dreadful night. The blanket over him was not thick enough to keep the cold from seeping in and the small electric heater next to his bed was too weak to keep anything warm. There was a certain comfort in the red glow coming from
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Bathroom Break

~Bathroom Break~

Karl walks into the bathroom in his school with his head hung down at the white tiles on the floor. He raises his head and turns toward the urinals. Karl gives off a small sigh as he takes out his semi - hard dick.

"What I wouldn't do for some dick right now." Karl said to himself while flushing his self out. Karl was admiring his soft light caramel skin in the mirror, when he then heard a soft moan coming out of the light gray stall. He chuckled to himself thinking it was just his imagination, since... Continue»
Posted by femboii 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Bernadette

Years ago I loved chat on Yahoo Messenger. I had a group of friends I would chat with from time to time...it was always filthy. One of my favorites was Bernadette. She and her husband Mario had been married for fifteen years.

She lived one state away from me and we would chat about her fantasy. Me fucking her while her husband watched. Eventually we moved onto phone sex. She always got super excited hearing my voice as I told her what I wanted to do with her. She almost never spoke during those phone calls. Her moans and screams were enough though. Eventually I hard a low voice tell... Continue»
Posted by peterpierre47 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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fuckin in d classroom

It was first time of ever fingerin a gal usually I dreamt about it and masturbated to it... Anyway let me not bore u... I was in class getting some assignments done den she came to class men were those boobs huge aniway we were talking nd den I bought up d topic of sex asking her if she has done it before I den ask do it wit me she said ok. She den sat on my laps nd startd grinding me god was dat good I den dragged ha skirt down nd started fingering ha she nw started talkin dirty tellin me 2 swirl ha cunt it den got me horny nd made me grow bigger she den took me in her mouth suckin me til I c... Continue»
Posted by hornynigerian 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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White couple sharing a black cock

.

At this particular time in my life, I was 42 years old
and thinking of the possibility of actually
experiencing a young black man, and I had one in mind. He
recently started to work at the same place I was
employed. He needed money to start his college education
and had accepted a position in the stock room. We
seemed to hit it off from the start. He was a nice
looking young black guy with light brown skin.

I could see that he admired my 5 ft 2 inch, 120 lb
body, as his eyes would wander up and down my body. I
really liked to be admired by any man but to be admired
... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  
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Sexy story to Armoprince66@yahoo mountain dew

Now for your listening pleasure i made up a song for you all...a NEW SONG FOR U SING ALONG NOW EVERYBODY....IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ...IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ....IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT THEN YOUR FACE WILL SURELY SHOW IT...IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS..CLAP CLAP THANK YOU, THANK YOU... HAHAHA... LOL... FUNNY SH-T FOR SURE... CAN YOU SEE THAT BEING PLAYED WITH THE HOKIE POKIE AT THE SKATING RING HAHAHAHA HOW WAS THAT BOYS AND GIRLS HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!! Full service provider no greek IN THE GRECIAN LANGUAGE OF REDBOOK THAT M... Continue»
Posted by notreasonusa 1 year ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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What Cums Around

"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
************************************************************************
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.

It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Valentines Day Virus

Dwayne gave a strangled moan of pain as he burst through the front door of his house, one hand clutched to his crotch and an expression of absolute agony painted over his face. With shaky steps he hurried up the single flight of stairs and rushed into his bedroom. He almost fell onto his bed and hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down to his knees. His boxers soon followed and he looked desperately at his genitals, the source of his pain.

His cock was fully erect and an angry red color. But what was most alarming was his testicles. Dwayne's balls looked huge and swollen, approxim... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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KILTS!

Hi everyone!
This is Ian, and I have an interesting experience to share:
I was inside the Rio Casino in Vegas two days ago at around 1 am, wearing one of my numerous kilts as usual. Now.....
A group of 6 or 7 drop-dead gorgeous Asian girls were walking toward me, noticed my kilt, started exclaiming (something or other), and when they got to me, started taking turns lifting my kilt! Well, I let them do this for a few minutes, then it hit me: There's cameras in these casinos! So regrettably, I shooed them away. Well, a couple guys were watching the whole scene, and afterward, they came up to ... Continue»
Posted by columbia_river_couple 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Sarah and Nicole go Shopping (part one)


This and the following part two are extracts from my novel "Sarah's Garden." They aren't really explicit erotica but rather an amusing account of two newly out lesbian girls let loose by their girlfriends for a day's shopping in town and a spot of girl watching with some rather startling results. Just a bit of fun really for your amusement.

**********************

“Well all I can say is that it’s going to be an interesting encounter with your mum tomorrow Nicky!” declared Sarah feelingly as she steered her BMW along the west bound autobahn a little outside Zur... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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