Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

Me, the Porn Star and my 1st DP - Part 3

Learning to fuck like a porn star

For those who have read parts 1 & 2 of this little ‘saga, you’ll know that at a photo session in 1985 I met an ex-porn actress called Nikki. We hit it off and ended up going out for 2-3 months. Like most 24 yr old guys at the time, I thought I had hit the ‘jackpot’ in meeting a porn actress – GUARANTEED great sex and, if I was REALLY lucky, a route in to the world of MAKING PORN! Well, not all was what I thought it would be....

Nikki had already shown me her scene from one of the films she had been in. She played a receptionist at a health farm who gets ... Continue»
Posted by jasper61 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 445  |  
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Open door


By: Andrew Bonzua (a. k. a Andrew M. Bosnjak)


The door was open, and she had seen him drive off. Surely he would
have a copy of his own books in his home! Why, she could slip in and
take a look, and leave again, and he would never know.

She did not know why this idea slipped into her head. She would never
have thought of such a thing, usually. But it was true: here was an
opportunity to read the very works she had been so frustrated in trying
to find. A silly thing, to be unable to buy or borrow books, the
author of which lived in one's own town.

And it wasn't as if they wer... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 445  |  
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Sarah Sneaks In

Yep, I’m making another one of these! Next one is already planned, but I’m not sure if the next piece I’ll upload is that one, or another one I’ve had on my mind for a while. Hint hint: I’m not sure how well video game rule 34 will be appreciated here. :P
Same as usual! Hit CTRL+F or scroll down to “SEX STARTS HERE” if that’s what you’re here for!
NOTE- PLEASE love a comment! Good, bad, ugly, any are good! I need reviews if I want to improve!
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The sky was pitch black and the moon was high in the sky. I sat al... Continue»
Posted by soniclemon 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 444  |  
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Sci-Fi - The SFL Dairy Laboratory - cows

The author claims copyright on this document. It may be posted in other groups or copied for inclusion in archives, etc., but may not be used for commercial purposes in any way! If you do repost this or copy it off somewhere, please keep this notice of copyright attached.





NASA contributes 40% of the Budget at the Sexperimental Farm Laboratory.


This is a Documentary of 1998 when the Fallopians


threatened our Civlisation.


The account of SFL Dairy, June 1st - 24th 1998. Iowa




After meeting their maids in the house, k**man then

took the two w... Continue»
Posted by millymooe 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 444  |  
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The Love of Spikes

I did't always wear high heeled stiletto shoes, but once I started wearing them, I craved more and more extreme heels, I think I must have an addictive personality,
I found a market stall in Devizes, that had a selection of what could only be called lap dancers shoes.
I know the risks, breaking my ankle, a bad back! Yes doctor but with my boobs a back ache is common place, I once gave a friend of mine a challenge, to wear one of my bras with two melons inside it for a day, so the skinny minny could experience what its like to walk around all day, with the extra weight.
I have found the stil... Continue»
Posted by DiamondLife 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 443  |  
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Strange things you think of

With the heat of this summer I have been finding it difficult to sl**p and strange things come into my mind like
Why did Daphne always disappear with Freddy in Scobby Doo, they were useless though Daphne certainly had a wiggle that even now I think is pretty hot.
Velma - how dirty would she be, I have been with nerdy girls and well they are very naughty to say the least.
Shaggy ... I am still in shock during an episode with Scrappy Doo he was riding a Llama trying to escape a Vampire. Did the cartoon company ever figure out that Llamas were never really ridden. Well logic and cartoons are r... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 443  |  
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Nostalgia: Details about my sexual partners

I haven't been with many women, I am not even old enough to drink yet so I still got time! I have been with a few different girls & have had a few nice experiences with each of them, sorry no visuals for any of them. Only my most recent ex:
http://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/227247-1.html
So here's a little info on the girls I was with & some of the experiences I've had so far.

Name - Age
Race
Hair Color - Type
Eye Color
Age I was when I was with them
What I did with them
Best experience





Amanda - 18
White
Black - Straight Long (To hips)
Light Blue
18
HJ, BJ, Sex, Ana... Continue»
Posted by overdoser 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 442  |  
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chav lads, my arse, pussy get fucked

I got all tarted up for some sex as my twat was wet and begging for cock. I wore fishnet tights, short red skirt, red knickers, big red heels and a red tight crop top with no bra on. I had my big hoop earrings in and wore red lipgloss and lots of make-up in general. I went around to the back of the spar and met up with Jason, Nicky and Jake.

Jake who lives near me from the Chav sex trade story was there. He’d fucked me a few times when his mum and dad weren’t in at his house after the Chav sex trade story but he was at back of spar this night. Jake is very sexy and can cum 3 times easy whe... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 442  |  
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morning wood

Not my story, but just wanted to share it ..

I don't really have a raunchy story to tell but I do, however, feel that I am one of the luckiest men alive.


I met and fell in love with Krista about 3 years ago and we recently got married. She is the most beautiful, caring person I have ever met. I am so proud to be her husband and best friend.


Krista makes me horny without even saying or doing anything. I get hard watching her do laundry in her t-shirt and sweats. I get hard when she paces back and forth in the kitchen while she talks on the phone. I go insane when she gets dressed u... Continue»
Posted by bigdigga 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 442  |  
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Alternate Therapy

My name is Natalie Smart. I am currently studying for my Phd in Classical Literature at a large university in Eastern England. I find my studies absorbing and I guess most will call me bookish if not actually a prude. It's not that I don't get on with people, I can be very sociable whenever I want to, it's just that I quickly tire of them, finding most of them shallow and in the case of the men, interested in one thing and one thing only. Unfortunately I am frequently pestered as I am judged to be quite pretty. My breasts are larger than average, I have a heart shaped face with flashing brown ... Continue»
Posted by maverick3489 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 442  |  
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Freewill 504: Part 8 Campus Slut

Freewill 504: Part 8 Campus Slut (By Chris A)

Disclaimer: If you are u******e and/or easily offended by stories of an adult nature, then you should probably go away. This story and characters are purely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincedental. Any one who believes they should try and recreate these situations and events in a real life situation needs to get serious help. With that said: enjoy!

It was a warm spring evening as I walked across the center of the campus toward my final evening class. I don't know what possessed me to take a 7:30 class t... Continue»
Posted by tzrlvr 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 443  |  
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basketball tournament pt. 1

ok so my team makes it to a basketball tournament in humbotlt california, i think i was about 16 or 17 then. i never heard of that city before, but everyone was telling me its very boring, and old fashioned up there. there is nothing to do but smoke weed. i wasn't looking forward to it but i still wanted to win the whole tournament at all costs. when my team arrives to the the city, it was just how everyone said. the small town was so much in the woods there was only 1 hotel. since it was a 25 team tournament it was filled. so a lot of teams stayed with families that had the biggest house... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 441  |  
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Petite Blonde and a Coconut Bikini

True Story

She actually had Furby toys. Dead serious. But she was horny, petite, blonde, and a screamer. I met her through a friend that I performed with in community stage productions. She did some tailoring or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention. We were out on the town, she was loud, flirtatious and pretty open about how she wanted to have my cock that night.



It was my friend, and the two girls out on the town, being irresponsible. Drinks, yelling stupid stuff walking down the stre... Continue»
Posted by pjny21 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 441  |  
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The old buck. The real story.

My dad is one of the richest men in Russia, so called tycoon.
We live in a big mansion near a small Ural town.
Dad has joint business with Dmitry Vasilyevich, 62 years old bald fat man with a big belly and large height.
He has a wife and three c***dren.
His youngest daughter Olesya is of my age. She hates me because of some trifles.
Dmitry Vasilyevich often visits our house because of the business.
I am not afraid to be immodest, but I should say that I am a very attractive sexy blonde girl with large blue eyes, thin waist and pretty big breasts. My legs are long and beautiful too, and o... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 1 month ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 443  |  
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Two for the Balcony

You and I are at a movie theater. We have the back row all
to ourselves. No more than a minute after the lights have dimmed,
you begin slipping your hand beneath the box of popcorn on my lap
to give me an unexpected massage. I flinch in surprise at first
and slap your hand away out of propriety. But after you make
another advance beneath the popcorn, I find myself with a rather
powerful involuntary hard-on. My whispered warnings for you to
behave go unheeded. By the time the previews have ended and the
feature has begun, you've managed to unzip my trousers and have
worked your fi... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 439  |  
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8 Ways to Feel Closer After Sex

Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, it’s sl**p, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. “Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.

1. If you’re hungry, forgo ordering a pizza and instead... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 439  |  
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piss

i woke up in the night and had to have a piss so held it in as long as i could and could feel my ball getting bigger and buy dick was pumping and pumping and just let go the piss fill my pants and soke my bed and it ran down my leg and it was a good feeling and i cum at the same time and left my room and as i left my room my mum went in and she could see all the piss and cum and said come with me so i did and my mum put me in her bed and lick my ball to get the cum off and piss and she sat on my face and said i have to clean that up and she piss on my face and piss on my dick so i pull of my a... Continue»
Posted by jimbob12345 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 438  |  
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After Work Surprise

part 3 continuation of "Lunch Break"

I arrive home before you
no surprise...you went in to work an hour later today
I stop by the fridge and grab a beer
going to the bedroom I strip out of my work clothes...down to my boxers
tonight we're going out clubbing
"Let's see...what to wear...what to wear..."
looking in the closet I select a pair of jeans that I know you like
they're somewhat tight...but you like the way they show off my ass
now for a shirt...hmmmm...we'll go with the light blue button down you gave me last Christmas
it's your favorite...you say that it accentuates my bl... Continue»
Posted by CMStivy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 437  |  
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A Very Painful Visit To Mistress V

Friday 5th September 2003 - I'm off on a long weekend. I'm sat on a train and my eventual destination is East Croydon though I will have to change at Haslemere.
I have arranged to meet and have a drink with a certain Mistress V with regards to my suitability to become her sub – it's only a preliminary meeting and I haven't brought along my favourite plastic beach shoe or garden cane.
For some reason I recall a paragraph I once read many years ago in a book about sexual perversion something along the lines that: The whip cracking, leather clad, fierce, obedience seek... Continue»
Posted by Ima_Kant 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 436  |  
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Dirty Jokes

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!

Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
A: Because he overdosed on viagra!

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!

Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower is coming.
... Continue»
Posted by xhamster69bbc 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 436  |  
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