Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 77
I woke up this morning all in disarray...my heart was beating ten to the dozen..my massive bosoms were heaving..my skin was all clammy!! I knew it was not true...
You see...I had this dream...an amazing dream that sent me into another world..I was walking along the forest..near our farm..just silly lonely aul me..and I felt I was being watched...the hairs on my arm and the nape of my neck stood on edge...I quickened my pace but ears all a-listening...As I got to the clearing..he was standing there...waiting..looking at me...no words spoken..just this cheeky grin on his rugged face...The day w... Continue»
Leandra screamed, as Kaliko pushed his whole cock down into her ass. His boney old hands, holding those cheeks apart for his cock. He watched as his pale cock pushed that green hole wide. Leandra threw her head back, his cock so deep and so good.
"Oh fucking god, don't stop. Feed my ass that cock".
He smiled and threw his weight into the next thrust. Shoving his cock down to the base. Leandra could feel his coarse pubic hair rubbing against her ass cheeks and hole. He held his cock in her ass grinding around inside. Making her feel all his cock.
"Dorothy why don't you sit in front of ... Continue»
Being a ghost sucks!
There I said it. As a Ghost I have limited control of the physical world. Aside from turning lights on and off I'm pretty much useless, that being said I have discovered quite a few tricks.
"Are you there Jack?" Regan asked from her room.
"No, I'm out in the Living Room." I said.
"I'm getting dressed so don't come in!" she said.
Regan came out wearing a rather fetching blue sun dress. "Have you been up all night?" she asked.
"Yeah...why?" I asked.
"I made up the couch for you, why didn't you..."
I didn't mention this in our ... Continue»
It was late afternoon as Beth stepped from her office into the cool evening air. Autumn was closing in, evidenced by the goose bumps rising on her bare arms and the involuntary shiver riding up her back.
"Night Beth," her colleague, Barry called, also on his way out. "Brrrrr, you'll need to wrap up warm tonight!"
That's what he thought. Jonny, Beth's newly found beau, had preoccupied her thoughts all day. The vision of his taught naked body, powerful arms and that unbelievable penis was all the warmth she needed tonight. That was the plan anyway and she could feel herself blushing at the... Continue»
All day I'm nervous and can hardly concentrate, cause I am not sure what to expect later that night.....
I get dressed in a pair of jeans and a fitted brown colored top that gives a nice view of my breasts. I swoop my hair up (for the adult look) and put on some comfortable shoes and grab a matching bag. Before I leave the room I survey myself in the mirror..."damn, i do look good", I thought.
I walk out to the living room to meet my darling. I can see him looking at me and I can almost hear him thinking, "damn"!!! I walk up to him and he touches my left cheek and tilts my head upward,... Continue»
As we explore our developing sex-life (not bad to be able to say that after nearly 12 years together) I asked K to tell me something she'd like that she'd never tried. The answer came back "a strap-on". Now I'm the "more than a mouthful's a waste" size and she's tight and beautiful - and so the idea of a hollow strap-on grew. Not too large. But something we could enjoy.
I had a look on the internet - but we decided to go through Soho and see what we could find. We tried Anne Summers, very little to choose, and Coco de Mere which was lovely but didn't have anything hollow. So we went down ... Continue»
one night i had a dream. it started with me and my friend. we was in my bedroom talking about girls we would like to fuck. but he didn't know i was gay. so just talk for a long time. but it was getting late so choose to go to bed. but i couldn't sl**p. so i reach in my boxers and play with my 5.5 dick thinking about my friend. i never seem him nude. but i been thinking about it. well i got scare when i heard a noise. i look up and saw my friend watching. he ask me what i was thinking about and i said you. he smile and said i'm not gay but i will let you suck me and then i will fuck you. i got ... Continue»
Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.
A Penis Study
In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with the... Continue»
The purple desert landscape gave way to distant hills with strange phallic bushes, some red some black some yellow,like spikeless cactus actually reminded me of double headed rubber dildos or is that a lezzy fantasy in the making, guess beside the hunger pains I was feeling lonely, as the marble tiles gave way to a gravel terrain, my mind went to my fuck me pumps, they are getting ruined, at this point I stopped retrieved the odd remote gizmo from my bag.
The symbols meant nothing to me so I went random pushing away a strange hologram appeared before me , brill a guide to the planet!
The hol... Continue»
The Italian Job 19
As I mentioned in 18 I was at this time booked to do a job in Croatia for a company on the Istra Peninsular, they were nice people and I am adding this to the Italy project because it fits in with my work in Italy, I flew from Bolognia to Trieste then they picked me up and drove me round to Umag where the factory was sited, they had an old machine that was controlled by a digital system and they wanted converted to a computer control with animated displays etc., I won’t bore you with too many details but the work had been planned to take place over a 4 week period, so the c... Continue»
6/13/2012 *name used pseudonyms, but based on true events*
One of my friends, Brad, was having a kickback. Nothing major Him 3 other friends me and our female friend in the group Veronica. SO as you can imagine from a bunch of game artists and programmers it was a pretty standard night. Video games, beer, music, a comic book argument about Before Watchmen which almmost came to blows and so on. 2 of the guys left early around 11 p.m. because they had work in the morning. Leaving Veronica, Brad, Tyrone, and myself. Tyrone had the most to drink that night and violated the alcoholics sacred hym... Continue»
I had an eye on my mother's body eversince I was 16 and the culprit is my own dad!
We own a small farm in my village. I am Anand and I am 18 now. My mom Bhavani is a housewife and I help dad in handling farm activities. My dad got me out of school two years ago to look after the farm business.
My mother was never a sexual object for me until two years ago, one day my dad took me to the cow shed. We have a nice bull and it was always a sort-after one by other farmers for impregnation of their cows. The bull was born to one
I had been working with D&O Inc. for three years. My office was on the sixteenth floor of the Federal Building downtown. Last week I almost missed the elevator when a beautiful woman held it for me. I recognized her from accounting her name was Tess; she had long dark brown hair, and big brown eyes. I thanked her as I got in the elevator but I wasn't sure she even knew who I was.
"Hello, my name is Tess," she said in a deep voice, eagerly extending her hand in friendship. Her perfume filled the elevator. The smell of her was so enticing it started to give me a boner. "Yes I know, I'v... Continue»
One Month later...
When news broke that the school's power couple broke up, you'd think someone had died. And when it was discovered that I was the one who broke Missy and Derek up I became more of a parah than I already was. Worst of all Missy lost all of her "dearest" friends too. "Who needs them when I have you." she would say. But as brave a face as she put on, I could tell she was hurting. Ben was also very cross with me, but for a very different reason. "I can't believe you're giving up the gift you've been given!" he would say. "You could be banging all types of chicks but no, you se... Continue»
This is the James Hard-on series continuing epic :P (Read earlier ones if you want to help follow story)
Jessica Chastity and James Hard-on sat in the car in pure silence. She started to get uncomfortable.
"So what happened in there? With Willy I mean?" said Jessica.
"Let's just say he was a great prick and I gave him something that took him down in size."
I winked at her. Gosh I LOVE puns!
"I don't think he will think of bothering you or other women anymore with his extreme piggishness."
"Oh. Thanks? I guess."
"Hmm. I have a feeling we aren't really having much chemistr... Continue»
Jack Straw, 35, single forever, sales-man for stockings, lacy lingery and condoms, travels more miles through the lonely country than any one of us - it is his job! He doesn't meet many women on his long and dusty way through the outback, but he certainly longs for the once-in-a-lifetime encounter with a lady that will fulfill all his secret dreams!
Here I am once again on this endless and winding road through the deserted country side. The six cylinder motor of my old station wagon is humming comfortably under the broad bonnet as I ride along with seventy miles an hour. I am traveling li... Continue»
Dorothy felt the sun cascading over her face, as she began to wake up. Slowly pulling her eyelids up, Dorothy saw Leandra sitting in front of her staring at her.
"We have to talk Dorothy".
Dorothy rubbed her eyes and sat up. "How long have I been asl**p".
"I would say we been asl**p for about seven hours. Its morning and we fell asl**p close to night. I first want to say thank you. Thanks for staying behind, I really do owe you."
Dorothy smiled,"I'm glad to do it, for a new friend".
Leandra packed up there things in her bag. "This journey I am on, you should know what Im going a... Continue»
Have you ever had a really bad day?
I mean a real shitfest!
Where things go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye?
First, I got fired.
Then I got dumped
And last but certainly not least, I died!
So to recap, Fired, Dumped, Dead...bummer!
You might be asking yourself..."Jack, how does a moderately healthy guy just this side of Thirty die" Well "self" maybe next time you'll unplug the toster before you try to pry out a Pillsbury Toaster Strudle with a butterknife...while high.
So yeah I got zapped with 50,000 volts and died alone in my underwear and a Spice World T-... Continue»
Walking down the street, thinking i gotta go forbidden planet to get some comics, when i walk past this shop i normally walk past to check for those "massage" adverts in the window. I see one, and call it and esquire about prices.
So i ring, and a Eastern European female voice answers and gives me the details, and the location, and immediately my plans change and start heading to this location as its nearby. Turns out this place is a pub which she directed me to, so i call again and she said someone will be outside to meet me, and take me in, this was very random and some guy directing me ... Continue»
Jodie Marie, 22, freshly engaged with a car mechanic, is a simple woman. She likes to cook, to cuddle, and she certainly likes to make love. And because she has a boyfriend and seems to be well maintained by him, her fantasies are sometimes reflecting the realm of the unknown, the appetite for something new - and include sometimes even a woman:
I'm loosing the damned game! I hit the rubber ball harder, but with every mistake I make her grin grows broader. She is a friend of my mother, about her age, but still fit and not bad looking, but she is a bl**dy lesbian, playing with all the young... Continue»