Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

Poetry of the Genitals

Her

I cannot help it I love your dick,
Upon its head I like to lick.
I love the hardness of your shaft,
It’s no game but a well skilled craft.
I love to linger around its head,
And make you cum all over the bed.
And oh we can’t forget the balls,
Cause their my favorite part of all.
I’ll finish the task by jacking you off,
And swallow real well so you don’t make me cough.

I LOVE THE COCK!

Him

I love to eat your creamy pie,
About this fact I could not lie.
To take my time and eat you well,
To taste your love and feel you swell.
It is the greatest thought of all,
... Continue»
Posted by Testdriver 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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A Book to Remember

A Book to Remember
by Just4kinks


J4K’s heart raced as the elegant young man entered the library. She blushed as his penetrating eyes met hers, she remembered last night’s hot steamy sex and she was pleasantly surprised he came back for more. It has been such a long time since her life has been filled with passion. Heck, it was six months since her husband touched her and at 40, she was at the peak of her sexuality. She was ready to put on her sexy boots and rock and roll, not spend hours on end watching senseless television shows on the couch.

She tried her best to k... Continue»
Posted by just4kinks 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The State Cop

Last year, around Christmas time, I was back on the East
Coast for Christmas break. I had borrowed my b*****r's new
Corvette, (b*****r is a newly licensed physician) and headed out
to a Christmas party in the Highlands. This was the first time I
had been separated from my SO in a year, so I guess I was feeling
a little unattached.
I got to the party and it was wonderful. I had a couple of
champagnes and danced away most of the night. At 1 am my ex-
boyfriend from high school came in with his newly acquired
fiance. I hadn't seen Danny in 3 years, and I was a little taken
aba... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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When I became a sex maniac a few years ago

When I became a sex maniac a few years ago, I immediately worried that the Caveman might not be able to handle me - satisfy me. I didn't see that it would take time for us to really learn how to have sex together (duh!). But over these weeks of having a lot of love making and writing stories about it, we've really come along way (couldn't resist the pun).


Every time we have sex it's a little different, a little saucier, a little sexier: sometimes because it's naughtier, sometimes because it's gentler, and always because it's starting to feel completely unscripted. By writing these sex sto... Continue»
Posted by alexandra17xx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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How To Have Sex With a Friend

Seriously, who hasn’t met a friend who’s sexy and all that?

And how many of us haven’t wondered how to have sex with a friend?

It feels so good to be bad. It feels even better to cross that boundary and play dirty, doesn’t it?

Life in the fast lane couldn’t get any faster in these days of fast love and raging hormones. It’s hard to get over the blues of being single especially when everyone around is either madly in love, or physically in love.

If lovers can do it, why not friends? After all, friends do share everything lovers share, other than physical intimacy.

Sex with a frie... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sarah and Daniela


This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.


Toggenburg Thirty.

“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Dating tips for guys

1. Wear the right kind of after-shave lotion or perfume. But remember, not too much, not too less!

2. Though you would like her to think of you as a toughie so she feels protected in your presence. This particular attitude puts off a lot of girls. Most of the times guys are so consumed with acting macho that makes girls think you are not sensitive enough! So, take it easy!

3. Most of the men don't think they have to pay attention to the way they dress. Well...you may not want to apply make-up though some guys do but that doesn't mean you land up on your date just like that! Remember to s... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 16

Dear Dirty Diary,

Thanksgiving weekend all the Huntingdon stores started pushing their winter fashions, so Louise and I went shopping. Even with all the closet space in our new apartment, I had to do some fall-cleaning to make room. I dumped out my pantyhose and tights drawer on the bed beside my relaxing husband.

Each pair I got rid of, Doug would pick up, carefully examine, then like an old fart would ask, “What’s wrong with these?”

I’d point out the runs in the expensive ones and the starchy feet and sags of the cheap ones. I hesitated for too long before tossing out one ... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Valentines Day Virus

Dwayne gave a strangled moan of pain as he burst through the front door of his house, one hand clutched to his crotch and an expression of absolute agony painted over his face. With shaky steps he hurried up the single flight of stairs and rushed into his bedroom. He almost fell onto his bed and hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down to his knees. His boxers soon followed and he looked desperately at his genitals, the source of his pain.

His cock was fully erect and an angry red color. But what was most alarming was his testicles. Dwayne's balls looked huge and swollen, approxim... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Italian Job 16

The Italian Job 16
Italian weddings are very special things with lots of singing and dancing and eating and drinking, I know English weddings are meant to be the same but they do not seem to have the flair of the Mediterranean countries and especially a village wedding where everyone knows everyone including all their relatives both dead and alive, so when Sonia’s daughter decided to get married to one of the village lads the village started to make preparations in a big way, the bunting came out as well as the balloons and the flags and of course the preparations for a street party, mention ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Perils of Dating Supergirl, Part 2

Hi there!

My Name is Robert Shephard, but most people call me Bobby. I was living an average life, I had a good job teaching High School Chemistry, and was dating an absolute knock out named Linda. Then everything changed when I (through a complete fluke) discovered she was in reality Supergirl.


Messed up huh?

A Day after I discovered the truth I found myself Orbiting the Earth in a Massive Space Station called "Watchtower".

"This is the Coolest.....thing....ever!" I said pressing my face against the glass.

"It is beautiful isn't it." Kara said. "Sometimes I forget just how... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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SURPRISED VISITORS, THE HOT TUB, AND OUR SNOWY MO

I had rented a rustic cabin, up on snowy Mount Rainier, for this past weekend. Tatiana and I wanted to get away from neighbors, friends and f****y. And spend some quality time alone together, in a remote and intimate environment.

Saturday morning, while we were making love, we decided it would be fun and exciting, to continue our amorous efforts in the hot tub out side the cabin. Tatiana didn't need much convincing, she ran naked, out the door, across the deck, and jumped into the hot tub. I was right behind her. Tatiana is eleven years younger than me. Anyway, that's my excuse why she ... Continue»
Posted by RutgerIvanus 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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An English girl .......

was travelling in france when I booked into a hostel . The reception desk was right across from the lounge and I immediately noticed two girls checking me out . One was a very young American girl in her twenties the other an English woman in her thirties . Anyway , we got talking and that night they were planning to go out and celebrate the birthday of the English girl and they invited me . We went out with other guests from the hostel and had a good time . The English girl was not only pretty , but friendly and kind and I began to notice a cerain attitude she directed towards me . We smoked... Continue»
Posted by adam2010 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A story for the holidays

Christmas is a time of joy and happiness, OR boredom and loneliness.

Let me back up a bit, Christmas time, three years ago, sometime during the night, my cock was running in and out of Anna's pussy. It was all wet down there, well lubricated and it was fun. I was kissing her shoulder, fiddling her titties and ramming her pussy with my cock. Back, forth, back, forth, ... Anna turns over, she kisses me on the lips and starts sucking them. I am fingering her around her butt hole and spreading her butt cheeks while pushing her lower body to rub her pussy on my body. We didn't do it anally excep... Continue»
Posted by happytaquito 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A Night To Remember

Teresa and I had only been together for a few weeks, just long enough for us to be confident in our feelings for one another. Even in public, I could barely keep my hands off her, and Teresa delighted in teasing me when I was least able to take advantage of her slim and inviting figure. This became a game between us, and she took every opportunity to drive me crazy with subtle touches and playful innuendos.It was a Saturday night and we were enjoying a nice dinner at one of those brew house restaurants that offered good drinks and loud music along with the meal. While we sat and enjoyed each o... Continue»
Posted by malckbro 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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One Night in April: Part 2

It had always been a fantasy of mine to have sex in the shower. To have a hot chick caress my naked body while hot soapy water cascaded over us. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my Best Friends s****r would be that woman. It didn't even occur to me that she'd be staring up at me with her emerald eyes as she absolutely devoured my hard cock.

"Stop that tickles!" April giggled as I gently ran my fingers through her hair.

"I'm not doing anything." I said.
"It's your cock, it's poking my butt cheek."

I looked down at my lap and sure enough my erect dick was poking April's cheek... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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chinese ball torture chapter two

I knew it was danny’s last night in town. I wanted to make it special. It was his idea to go see a play at a fancy theater. My dad was a douchebag about some issues. Trust me I still got away with murder. He was old fashioned about making me wait until I was sixteen to have my first real date. I hated him for that shit. I was not your average k**. I had a huge secret. Right after I turned f******n my dad got me a job at the restaurant where he worked. It was all kinds of i*****l and corrupt. People thought I was a slacker in my advanced classes. Nearly every weeknight I worked from... Continue»
Posted by linmarris 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Consummation With A Massage Included

So, after the first time with Riya, we were both hot and horny for each other and we used to just have sex whenever we get a chance. So finally choice of college and we both chose the same college and course and mainly out of our hometown so we could be free and enjoy life. The college was in Chennai, and was very cool to be out of home and roaming around the new city took up most of the time, but we also spent time with each other.

She took an apartment for her to stay and we used it mainly to be intimate and just hangout. Since the metro and buses used to be so crowded in evenings, we
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Hot Sex

We had spicy egg fried rice for dinner last night, chef sat in the living room chopping the veg and chillies ready for the rice that was sat steaming on the hob. Fast forward ten minutes to me being accosted on the stairs on route for a quick pre dinner bath. Sex on the stairs is always a good thing, there's something wonderfully naughty about having sex in a none sex designated zone .He ripped my jeans off, slammed me down on my back and slid his cock straight up inside me. If we had left it there we would have been fine. However sexy genius here decided it would be fun to taste herself ... Continue»
Posted by duggie666 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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New U Salon

New U SalonThe Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive
Titles · Authors · Categories · Readers' Picks · FAQ · What's New · Message
Board · Make a Donation
Author: Zon19
Story: New U SalonNew U Salon
By Zon19
(mc, md, gr)
The following is a storyline that was started on the BE Archive's Adventure,
"Unending BE." Feel free to visit the archive or its extendable addventure at
http://www.bearchive.com. This particular story was written by myself and L.E.
through the extendable addventure. I have compiled and elaborated on the initial
plot and present it to you, the reader, as a stand-alo... Continue»
Posted by SharonwithTitsout 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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