Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

Sexy story to Armoprince66@yahoo mountain dew

Now for your listening pleasure i made up a song for you all...a NEW SONG FOR U SING ALONG NOW EVERYBODY....IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ...IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ....IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT THEN YOUR FACE WILL SURELY SHOW IT...IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS..CLAP CLAP THANK YOU, THANK YOU... HAHAHA... LOL... FUNNY SH-T FOR SURE... CAN YOU SEE THAT BEING PLAYED WITH THE HOKIE POKIE AT THE SKATING RING HAHAHAHA HOW WAS THAT BOYS AND GIRLS HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!! Full service provider no greek IN THE GRECIAN LANGUAGE OF REDBOOK THAT M... Continue»
Posted by notreasonusa 1 year ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 588  |  
50%

White couple sharing a black cock

.

At this particular time in my life, I was 42 years old
and thinking of the possibility of actually
experiencing a young black man, and I had one in mind. He
recently started to work at the same place I was
employed. He needed money to start his college education
and had accepted a position in the stock room. We
seemed to hit it off from the start. He was a nice
looking young black guy with light brown skin.

I could see that he admired my 5 ft 2 inch, 120 lb
body, as his eyes would wander up and down my body. I
really liked to be admired by any man but to be admired
... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  Views: 588  |  
100%
  |  2

What Cums Around

"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
************************************************************************
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.

It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 586  |  
40%

Valentines Day Virus

Dwayne gave a strangled moan of pain as he burst through the front door of his house, one hand clutched to his crotch and an expression of absolute agony painted over his face. With shaky steps he hurried up the single flight of stairs and rushed into his bedroom. He almost fell onto his bed and hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down to his knees. His boxers soon followed and he looked desperately at his genitals, the source of his pain.

His cock was fully erect and an angry red color. But what was most alarming was his testicles. Dwayne's balls looked huge and swollen, approxim... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 585  |  
95%
  |  3

The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 585  |  
51%
  |  5

KILTS!

Hi everyone!
This is Ian, and I have an interesting experience to share:
I was inside the Rio Casino in Vegas two days ago at around 1 am, wearing one of my numerous kilts as usual. Now.....
A group of 6 or 7 drop-dead gorgeous Asian girls were walking toward me, noticed my kilt, started exclaiming (something or other), and when they got to me, started taking turns lifting my kilt! Well, I let them do this for a few minutes, then it hit me: There's cameras in these casinos! So regrettably, I shooed them away. Well, a couple guys were watching the whole scene, and afterward, they came up to ... Continue»
Posted by columbia_river_couple 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 584  |  
20%
  |  2

How I control my Master...!

He always calls right about now. Nighttime's darkest moment, when only the desperate are awake. Naked under the covers my body aches from use but hums with anticipation. Twenty-one years old, it’s never felt so alive.
Like I knew it would, the phone rings, it’s him. He’s looking for a fix, a little naughtiness before sl**p. A thousand miles away, he breathes into my ear, the opening moments of a familiar ritual with a different twist every time.
We met over the summer. Right after I broken up with my college boyfriend. I was inexperienced; he was not. Battered but handsome, he took my fres... Continue»
Posted by pujaraje 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 583  |  
100%
  |  5

Ghostfinger-----totally non-porn, but funny as hel

This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.

It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
Posted by joewaterford 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 581  |  
100%
  |  5

The Stranger - Short Story

Suzie Yong, 25, an erotic dancer in a night club, had encounters with men more than enough. She maybe experienced a lot of rude and humiliating behaviour, so she pulls herself back into her snail house for her fantasies: She wants to stay in control, and she doesn't want to be screwed - her Asian peach flower is is not for grabs and not for sale:

I'm always horny and I never wear a slip. I enjoy the unrestricted freedom of movement and the fresh air fanning my peach. Especially on Saturday nights I dress very lightly to entice my prey. I stand at the back window of the crowded bus from th... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 581  |  
100%
  |  2

The icing on the cake

I made a sponge cake the other day. Unfortunately we ran out of icing sugar so it was a bit plain. We sat down to eat it when I said to my boyfriend "It's a bit dry without icing"

"I could help with that if you like" he replied with a cheeky wink.

"Go on then" I said. He looked a bit shocked. I was serious.

"You really want me to? It might taste a bit funny" He said with a smile on his face.

"Come here and unload over my slice. I want you to ice it for me. Do it." A stern look on my face.

Immediately he got up and came over unzipping his jeans and pulled out his cock. I wat... Continue»
Posted by Skats 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 580  |  
100%
  |  4

Slutty Sarah, the sex-tape and 2 Sanish guys

So, Chris, Sarah’s new boyfriend, did you ask her about that sex-tape that I made with her. No? Or just wouldn’t she discuss it with you. I know that you hate all these stories about her, but it’s only fair to let the world know what a slutty exhibitionist, isn’t it. I’ve sent you links to all the stories of her on here and I’ve heard you are pretty angry about that. Well, too bad.

So, Sarah, on our last holiday, had talked about making a sex-tape. She didn’t mention anything about it for months, not until our next holiday. She was always more sexy and responsive to things when she was rel... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 580  |  
100%
  |  1

In the Alps

As we step through the door, all heads turn towards us. Entering the restaurant, we are able to see down the Austrian Alps peak to a large lake. The view from the cable car ride was spectacular but the one from the summit is unrivaled as it is a panoramic view of the region. The headwaiter greets us and with a smile asks if we have a reservation. I reply with my last name. He locates it on his guest list and leads us to our table.

My tailored silk suit is dark gray with trousers breaking atop well-shined black leather shoes. A silk Jerry Garcia tie compliments the colors of the suit. I a... Continue»
Posted by tigerx1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 578  |  
75%

Flaunting It At the Frat Party

Flaunting It At the Frat Party


The name is Tolden. James Tolden. There are three things you need to know about me.....
One:
I am tall. My towering height of 6’9” made me a natural for basketball, and my talent made me a star.
Two:
I am hung like a Bull Elephant. The same early growth spurts which gave me height, also added copious inches to my manhood, which was well-sized to begin with.
Three:
I am not above humiliating a lesser man. I’ve done it lots of times. This was the first.
I had been invited to my first Frat party my freshman year of ... Continue»
Posted by jkd1111 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 580  |  
64%
  |  1

My pride

We met at a bar, I’d been drinking a bit more than I should’ve, I was ready for some action, I hadn’t seen my lover in a week and was I was ready for a fight. Never got one. –all I got was a good beating. He was sober and he took me to his place. He wants me to obey, he wants me to call him master, and honestly; I want that too. In most of my fantasies and daydreams I long to please and obey. But in real life, as it turns out, I have a really hard time doing just that.
He commands me to call him master. I don’t. He commands me to undress. I don’t. I don’t even know why, cause I rea... Continue»
Posted by miatrondheim 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 576  |  
70%

What Kerri wants she gets

Well to start I'm Tony my wife and I have a good thing going see she loves to find women around 28-45 that are married have k**s and never had sex with another women and not only bed them but do it in a way that she has perfected over the years in which she controls them. Kerri is one of her ladys about three years back Kerri went to a dress store and while trying on a dress my wife Kat steped into the dressingroom and after some talking, rubing, and a little f***eing had Kerri two fingers deep and panting hard Kat bought her the dress took her to her own home and licked, sucked fingered, an... Continue»
Posted by shotguner 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 576  |  
75%
  |  1

Theatrical.....23

Theatrical…..23
Friday morning had arrived and I was once again hyper, running around trying to control my sex drive at the thoughts of having him between my legs that night, I was trying to get ready as well making sure that everything was perfect, my attention to detail was meticulous making sure that when he stripped me he would discover all kinds of goodies and fences to cross to tease him, not too much but just enough to get him inside me, “as though he needed any encouragement” I mused,
I had already established that he was a very unselfish lover, his sole aim in life seemed to be to... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 576  |  
100%

just a fantasey of mine

ok, this is the hotty half of fall guys couple, so this story is from my point of view. its just a fantasy so far.
darkness. the soft caress of silk on bare skin. the subtle sent of bergamont in the air. i lay tied to the bed, soft silk scarves pinning my arms and legs wide apart. another scarf covers my eyes, darkening the room to nothing even though i know candles burn. an intricately tied series of more silk scarves harness my body, tightly holding me like a lover. the knots are placed just so, and just tight enough that they tease and torment my erogenous zones, but offer no relief.... Continue»
Posted by fallguy74 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 575  |  
87%
  |  1

جلنار جردلي Jilnar Jardaly and the Pirates

A warm, gentle breeze blew across Jilnar Jardaly's sexy bikini-clad body, caressing her completely hairless skin, which was as smooth as silk and as gold as honey. She loved nothing more than chartering a private yacht on the beautiful Pacific Ocean, nor did two of her closest girlfriends who had come to enjoy the Caribbean getaway with her. It was just the three girls together, along with the yacht's owner and captain, a local girl named Elly, who was every bit as hot and gorgeous as Jilnar and her two beautiful fellow television media celebrity girlfriends, Basinah and Fahada.

They were a... Continue»
Posted by JilnarJardalyLustCum 13 days ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 576  |  
100%

Party House

Years ago there was a fun party house my friends and I use to hang out at. A mutual older friend owned the place. It was a drafty old farmhouse secluded in an urban area. Almost every night someone would buy a keg of beer and people would just seem to show up. It was a great time in my life I was young and carefree now I miss those days.

I first met Dave at the party house and at first glance I found him rather unappealing. He was just an average looking guy, with not a lot to offer. I barely acknowledged his presents at the parties most of the time. He is kind of a bulky built guy wi... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 574  |  
100%
  |  1

the traffic jam wank

Hello everyone again. Diary time again. This goes back to when we were just married and is from one of her last diaries, its one of the few stories that I was in! M came off the pill 15 years ago and since then, apart from a couple of deliberate occasions, I can’t cum inside her so we find alternative ways of bringing each other off. We both enjoy playing so the tenderness of being close together telling sexy stories ticks so many boxes. A number of yeas ago we had gone north to see my parents and were driving back home to London down the motorway. We had set off early in the morning to get b... Continue»
Posted by roman64 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 574  |  
100%
  |  6