Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

Private Party

A couple sneak upstairs during a party.

“Hi James,” you say cheerily when you find me sitting alone on the middle landing of the stairs.

“Hi Megan,” I answer from where I sit leaning against the wall. “Get too noisy for you in there as well?”

“Yeah,” you reply, glancing back downstairs to where the noise of the party echoes from. “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

I start to move aside, to make room for you to sit beside me, but you say “It’s okay, I’ll just sit in here,” and lower yourself to sit between my legs with your back leaning against my chest.

I put my arms around ... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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Slutty Sarah, the sex-tape and 2 Sanish guys

So, Chris, Sarah’s new boyfriend, did you ask her about that sex-tape that I made with her. No? Or just wouldn’t she discuss it with you. I know that you hate all these stories about her, but it’s only fair to let the world know what a slutty exhibitionist, isn’t it. I’ve sent you links to all the stories of her on here and I’ve heard you are pretty angry about that. Well, too bad.

So, Sarah, on our last holiday, had talked about making a sex-tape. She didn’t mention anything about it for months, not until our next holiday. She was always more sexy and responsive to things when she was rel... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 541  |  
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STILL FUCKED OVER ONCE AGAIN AND THEN SOME

You know you have faith in someone to only find out how really sick they are.....who in their right mind would find pregnant women appealing? Especially when you have a slim good looking thing at home? Who in their right mind would go to a motel for what i call a pornathon? Damm your hand really needs to be sore maybe that is why u have more muscles on the right than the left. And interested in chicks with dicks? Just wrong......I love sex and think it is the most erotic thing.....not with this dirbag though...hummm nice anything man but this one..........gosh he would be tired lol.......... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 539  |  
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Dark Nites

DarkNites I


The slap reverberated around the room. Jason gritted his teeth trying
desperately to keep hold of his temper. Daphne started towards the door but
Jason caught hold of her wrist, his eyes steely.

"You're not going anywhere until we've got this settled. Daphne
glanced coolly at his hand and then back to his face. Then she brought her
foot down on his. Hard.

Jason gave a furious growl and exploded into action. Grabbing her,
he swept her off her her feet and headed toward the bedroom. Daphne
gasped in anger.

"How dare you!", she bit out, starting to jerk and kick as... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 1 month ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 539  |  
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OAP Oral sex

Two old age pensioners are enjoying oral sex together... but after a few minutes, the old guy says, "I can't stay down here much longer, it stinks!"

The old lady says, " I'm sorry, it's my arthritis playing up again."

The old guy replies, " You've got arthritis in your cunt?"

"No" says the old lady, "the arthritis is in my arm, it means I can't wipe my arse!"... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 538  |  
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highschool party hookup

she took me by the hand and lead me upstairs, her hips swinging so sensually. every flirty step she takes swings her miniskirt bouncing and swaying back and forth just enough for me to peak under and see the curvy bottom of her ass just where it meets the top of her thigh. it was mesmerizing. watching her ass bounce just inches from my face, that lacy thong rubbing between her legs as she steps up left then right then left then right again. her skin felt so soft as i ran my fingers up and down her legs while we were dancing earlier. i wanted to feel her again. i reached up with my free ha... Continue»
Posted by cuschnei616 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 538  |  
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The first time I saw you

I remember that day.
I was working for the college, finishing out the last years of my degree and picking up work at the gym. It was boring as all hell, checking the sign in sheet, orienting the new students, cleaning up after the students. It was a special type of hell, but hell, it payed. Not near enough, but it payed.

It was another boring afternoon, and i noticed you coming in for your workout. You had never been in before, but that isn't why i noticed you. you were attractive, but for a second i couldn't tell if you were a boy or a girl. Short, boy cut hair, originally brown, but col... Continue»
Posted by creasedmomo 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 538  |  
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SAO

This is chapter 16.5 from SAO


Asuna plopped down naked on the sofa and glared defiantly at me.
"...Kirito, hurry up and take your clothes off," she said in an authoritative tone.
"What...w-we're continuing?"
"It would be stupid if we stopped here!!"
I hurriedly complied. Opening the window indicated by Asuna, I toggled off the option buried deep within the menu.
Because of the hurried start, there was no romantic mood to speak of. Sitting on the bed which was slightly too small for the two of us, we slowly did as much as the system would allow.
The dim blue moonlight filtered throug... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 538  |  
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Rise & Shine, sl**pyhead!

(She wakes up from erotic dream to find it's reality)

I was sl**ping, and I had a dream. A nice, silly dream about Joey and me. We were walking over a meadow, eating wild raspberries off a bush, and talking about going abroad for our next vacation. The day was warm and sunny, and we were far away from sneaking eyes. We laid down in the grass and started to kiss. I put my arms around Joey and he rolled on top of me. He caressed me and nibbled on my earlobes. I made a happy sound.

My clothes must have melted away, because suddenly I was naked, and Joey parted my legs and entered me. I open... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 537  |  
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SPITFIRE

Shannon Blake couldn't help it. She simply had to talk herself
into trouble. This had been a problem for her growing up at home,
at school and later on, wherever she worked. She seemed to
crave confrontation and constantly found herself arguing with
others over the smallest of issues.

Of course, this was before she met Erik Powell.

The two had been dating less than a month when Shannon managed
to instigate a loud argument in the middle of a film they
were watching. Aggravated by Shannon's behavior and embarrassed
at being part of a public spectacle, Erik took his date by... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 536  |  
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The Patient

Dana fidgeted nervously on the couch while Dr. Wallace studied the patient history form that she had filled out an hour earlier. "I see that you've been married for about three years now, is that right?" the doctor asked casually. "Uh, yes," she replied. "It was three years last month. And everything was pretty much all right between you and your husband until you had the baby?" "Yes, we had a wonderful marriage," she answered softly. "But now............." "What do you think went wrong?" the doctor asked. "Is there anything specific or just a general malaise in you relationship?" "... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 536  |  
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Preplanned (Rap)ing Drama

It was an unwanted occurrence for me, about which I have never even imagined. The incident occurred most recently and I was totally unready for facing such type of situation. Though the whole situation was pre-planned and just a drama, nothing else. The heroin of this drama was my house owner’s middle aged wife Sulekha Bhabi. I have rented this apartment in March 2010, my flat is at the ground floor. From the very beginning when I first met Sulekha Bhabi, I attracted to her liquid eyed lusty sight. When she stares at my eyes, I seemed she can see the bottom of my mind. I also think that she is... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 536  |  
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Fucking Supergirl Dream lol

Ever wake up to finding yourself masturbating and fantasizing about some type of sex. lol well for me it happened during the night. i found myself lying in bed rubbing and stroking my rock hard cock and dreaming about Supergirl from DC comics or at least this woman was wearing an outfit like supergirl all i know is i pulled of her blue top with the superman logo on it revealing her big tits as she sucked my cock in my fantasy. and then pulled off her skirt and gave her a hell of a good fuck doggystyle. clearly it must just been roleplaying cause if it was really supergirl shed probably had rip... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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Funny wank story

You think it will never happen and then...

I was spending a few hours jacking off the other day while I was watching my favorite site, Xhamster. I was looking at pictures and found a new hottie I liked named Melissa. She only has a couple of pictures on the site but I was stroking pretty hard to them.
When you stroke for a long time you build up a pretty good cumblast waiting to happen. I was heavily stroking, thinking of Melissa's cute ass and how good it would feel to fuck her doggy-style when I shot a short quick blast.
It rose up into the air. Normally I shoot a little to the left... Continue»
Posted by cockstrokin1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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24

Ever hear that old rap song “It was a Good Day” by Ice Cube?

The song refers to that one inevitable day that every one has where everything goes “right”, you can’t make a mistake and you have the luck of the Irish.

Well, I recently had one of those days. It was probably one of the greatest days in my life.

For a little background on me (to put things in perspective) … I live and work in San Francisco. It’s a great city, but I have what is deemed bad karma. My friends tease me by calling me “Peter Parker” because I’m a little bit klutzy and always have some trouble with the ladies.
... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 534  |  
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what a FUCKING day !

we are a couple and are very much in love and love to fuck each other whenever and where ever we can!

it was a saturday morning and my sexy boyfriend woke me up by fingering my pussy until i was nice and wet, he then proceeded to suck on my nipples and kiss all down my body until he came down to my wet pussy. he licked my clit and sucked on my lips until i came.

after i had cum he flipped me over ontop of him and slammed my pussy down onto his rock hard dick. i moaned with enjoyment... i leaned my upper body down onto his chest and began to shake my ass up and down just on the head of ... Continue»
Posted by Hrnycouple 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 533  |  
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Bar Pick Up (bbw)

(Short story I've got a longer one in the works I wrote
this back 2001 )

Gary Badcock was feeling a little drained from all the seminars,
he was attending the last three days. Now that he was finished with the
last one. He thought he'd stop in the hotel lounge for quick drink before
going home. Gary was lucky that all these seminars were in being held in his
home city.
It took a few minutes for his eyes to ajust to th darkness of the place.
He saw a few pleople in the place. As he sat down at the bar he glanced over
to dark hair lady a few stools down. He ordered a ... Continue»
Posted by MasterBill 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 534  |  
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Clever Love





Just reach hotel room after long train journey. Karim a contractual staff of our company suppose to receive me in the station do not turn up and number remain switch off. It was around 7 am in morning. I went to bathroom for fresh up. Got the call from Karim, apologizing for not able to receiving call and be in room with in 1/2 hour. He is well aware that a single call can terminate his job. Karim and I went to factory site which is 60 km from hotel.

I wonder that, this Karim try to please me whatever way it’s possible,
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 6 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 533  |  
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Hooked

One early Sunday morning bored and a little turned on I decided to check Craigslist personals for a little fun (if I got lucky) and or just for shits and giggles.

This ended up landing me a hooker, pretending to be an average girl looking for free sex (usual craigslist stuff, but she never advertised she was a hooker until I emailed). Which kind of made me want to have fun with her a little.

Emails are as follows -

Riverdale (me):
"Hi, I saw your ad on craigslist. I saw your pictures and I just had to compliment you on it."

The girl:
"Are you generous?"
----

This shit again..... Continue»
Posted by CountJones 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 532  |  1

Joke..

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 531  |  
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