Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

Cheating On The Phone

This is a true story. I was once involved with a woman who had an on-again, off-again boyfriend. He was an alcoholic, and kind of a lout. At one point they even got engaged, even though he sometimes hit her. Eventually she broke that off, but even while she was 'with' him she kept having sex with me. It wasn't about romance, just sex and friendship.

Anyway, one day we were on her bed: she was wearing a sexy bra and panty set, which was kind of getting in the way, because she was on top of me, and we were in the "69" position, with me holding the panties to one s... Continue»
Posted by leftiebiker 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 520  |  
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Under the bridge

I am so hot and horney I need to take a walk and find some young slut with a big hairy dick to call my own. Born without a dick or a pussy I only have a tight ass and a willing mouth and I want something hard up my ass...something to explode inside of me and I don’t care if it is big or small as long as it is willing....
So I parade up and down the street faceless and with a hairy open ass to accept what ever comes along. and there is a man under the bridge with one of those of funny signs that say...I’ll fuck for food,,,,and he is so cute and he turns out to be a she and she has a willing mo... Continue»
Posted by mia1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 518  |  
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Not speaking.........again.

“Hello love, I'm home”, I said as I closed front door.

There was no reply. After three day she still wasn't speaking to me. When I say not speaking that is not exactly the truth. Not speaking means I was actually being treated to a series of monologues about my grievous faults. Whenever I tried to say something in my defence, it was ignored. I must have apologised about a dozen times. It seemed that wasn't enough. She was really going to milk this one for all it was worth.

She appeared out of the kitchen, wearing a dressing gown and a look of disdain as she brushed past me and went u... Continue»
Posted by harrymunx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 518  |  
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painful and punishing found out.

Local women and wife of a truck driver was hot. The day he left she started calling the local boys. I had my opportunity and jumped on her like a rabbit. Was a young k** and excited to feel her adult hot box. Friend and I took turns fucking and watching the other fuck. She would call the other over and suck him hard before the other finished. She fucked us both dry and sucked my cock sore. I was know for having a big cock, but I was young then. The terry b*****rs were the lost teen long cock swingers. Frined and I knew where to get and watch her bed room.
One terry b*****r bent her over the ... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 518  |  
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A satisfying End

She is the one who has made me do this! I was saying to myself when I found myself sl**ping beside her. It was an intoxicating night none of us knew that it will lead to this but it was fun, hell of a night to experience. I never thought that I will ever get into bed with her so easily. She is one the most beautiful woman I have ever seen; she has the perfect figure with flash in right proportion in right places.

I was mesmerized by her beauty the moment I saw her and she understood the effect she had on me (which she used to her full advantage that night). It was my cousin’s bachelor part... Continue»
Posted by thedirt 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 516  |  
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My first sexperience... read to love it

While on a vacation in the far north east part of India, On the day before I was due to leave the resort I was staying in, I had this singular experience, which I am about to relate.

The place I was staying in was in the forrests, by a lonely road, with plenty of vegetation. The cottage like living quarters were far apart, with a big garden with walkways and lawns separating them. I was enjoying the quietness of the place. For most of my vacation I was the lone guest, until a group of three very young college students arrived. Well, the people of the north-east are more chinese-looking
... Continue»
Posted by desi_rulez 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 516  |  
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Chris Grffin pt 2

I climbed out of bed, yawning. It was Monday -brilliant. Everybody's favourite day, I don't think. At least I wouldbe able to see Clio and her s****r, my crush Jennifer again - they had been on vacation inBarbados for two months now. For Clio, that probablywould have been Hell. Her parents probablyf***ed her to go outside andsocialise, and Cliowould rather blow her own brains out than do that - though I think every f******n year oldgirl these days thinks that way.

In school, Clio, TJ, Matty, Jennifer and I were all having lunch. Clio, who generallystays away from her younger s****r, looked ... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 516  |  
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The Italian Job 25

The Italian Job 25
The next morning I went to the factory and completed the reprogramming of the computer control, we were now 2 weeks into the job but Antonis had decided that as he had me there and he wanted me to stay for the duration promising me a bonus if all went well over the next 2 weeks, this was good news because it was just a 2 weeks holiday with the occasional trip to the factory although if they had a problem they could call me or page me as the hotel had leant me a bleeper, that worked on the phone system, Maria was full of herself anyway because she had fucked Carlos even tho... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 516  |  
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One of my fantasies!


As, I sat naked on my bed front of my laptop, checking my emails; a usual email message came up on my computer, it reads: 'Open immediately from Chuck'. Curious, I open the email, and its show a picture of me lying on the bed with my legs spread open. It's more like I just finish masturbated! Shock, and confused, I replied back to Chuck and ask; 'How did you get that picture?' Chuck respond; ' I snap you while you were into your devotion. ‘You made my dick very hard.' I wasn't afraid, or, show no fear; I was more curious where Chuck was hiding? Is he nearby? Or, peeping at me from an open... Continue»
Posted by Chocolatepussy45 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 514  |  
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Does my bra fit?

Heat-activated, anti-wrinkle, iPod-charging … today's bras are about as high-tech as computers. They have complex support systems and multiple operating modes. They're priced just a bit shy of a PC.

The quest for the perfect bra can lead women to extremes of shopping, trying on and spending without ever finding the One. And there's a reason for that: There is no perfect bra. High-tech bells and whistles and the brand new, ultimate design are just the side show. The main event is much simpler. It's the fit.

A well-fitting bra does two things: It supports and it enhances. Holds 'em and sha... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 513  |  
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Ex- Girlfriend new story

This is another true story about the chick I worked with at the factory. It just came to mind and I thought I'd better post it before I forgot it again. I hope you enjoy and please leave comments. Thanks!
I spent the night at her place and as usual when we went to bed, we fucked. I swear this bitch loved to fuck more than any other woman I've ever met! and it was very easy to make her cum, I've never seen a woman that was able to cum that easily and in so many different ways! Oh yeah and the best part...She was a squirter (my first and only one)I loved that about her! Ok here goes. Like ... Continue»
Posted by cooterliker 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 514  |  
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Castle: What happens next

Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.

"Deleting file." was all the screen said.

There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 511  |  
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The meeting


It was almost ten thirty when they finally reached their destination. For about the last hour, once the sun had definitely gone down, Sylvia had ridden in the front of the car, giving Danny directions to an old unused factory on the industrial side of town.
Danny parked the limo next to the only other car, a black Porsche with darkened windows.
"Now when we're in there I want you to act subservient," instructed Sylvia.
"Don't worry honey," replied Danny with a smirk, patting Sylvia's thigh. "I'll be your little bl**d slave."
"I'm serious," Sylvia insisted. "Especially around Anita. I'll ... Continue»
Posted by engineerx1980 9 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 510  |  
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Impliments of Torture

I was back in my old neighborhood and totally in "straight" mode. The last thing I wanted my folks knowing was that their one and only likes to wear a dress every now and then. BAD IDEA! When I stopped by the Circle K for a few things I was even happier to be looking "normal."

There she was, looking a little heavier since the last time we spoke. For Gail that was a good thing since she was just a pound over being considered anorexic in high school.

She was quite a departure for me. Most of my gal friends were usually a few pounds of short of being mistaken fo... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 510  |  
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The Castaway

On a deserted Isle for f******n years
I thought I cried out all my tears
When from the surf one Monday morn
Came forth a beauteous female form

She wore a skin-tight diving suit
That touched where it fit from neck to boot
She walked toward me head held high
Her hand on the knife she wore on her thigh

“Tell me how long have you been here?”
She asked me, I answered trembling in fear
“f******n years, I’ve been here on my own
Starving reducing to just skin and bone.”

“Tell me how long since you had a smoke?”
She asked me “f******... Continue»
Posted by Nickshubby 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 508  |  
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He shot his load and wrote this....WTF? You figur

You are the coolest chick for bringing those feet in my face,the camera got fuzzy alot, if it was HD.....OH MA SOOUL BE CUMIN" RITE ONNA OUT MY BIG PEE HO! ALL women should have the feet featured I WILL DECREE with my fellow foot soldiers, the worthiness of said feet. I see cocks all day and night on this sight that have probably created more lesbians than all the DNA of 20 generations,no some dudes hate feet no matter what, and whats the big acceptable "fetish" ASS ASS ASS-no it's ASS-HOLE_E COLI-HEPATITIS A+ - DYSENTERY- 1000+ SPECIES/GENUS/f****y/ORDER/CLASS/PHYLUM/KINGD... Continue»
Posted by Lateshay 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 508  |  
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"Mostly" Ghostly Part 2

Being a ghost sucks!

There I said it. As a Ghost I have limited control of the physical world. Aside from turning lights on and off I'm pretty much useless, that being said I have discovered quite a few tricks.

"Are you there Jack?" Regan asked from her room.

"No, I'm out in the Living Room." I said.

"I'm getting dressed so don't come in!" she said.

Regan came out wearing a rather fetching blue sun dress. "Have you been up all night?" she asked.

"Yeah...why?" I asked.

"I made up the couch for you, why didn't you..."

Yep lightbulb.

I didn't mention this in our ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 508  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P3)

Leandra screamed, as Kaliko pushed his whole cock down into her ass. His boney old hands, holding those cheeks apart for his cock. He watched as his pale cock pushed that green hole wide. Leandra threw her head back, his cock so deep and so good.

"Oh fucking god, don't stop. Feed my ass that cock".

He smiled and threw his weight into the next thrust. Shoving his cock down to the base. Leandra could feel his coarse pubic hair rubbing against her ass cheeks and hole. He held his cock in her ass grinding around inside. Making her feel all his cock.

"Dorothy why don't you sit in front of ... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 506  |  
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One Night in April: Part 4

My name is August Fahey and two years ago I started secretly dating my best friends 16 year old s****r April Hunter. When I left for college we continued seeing each other long distance. To keep up appearances we'd go out on dates with other people but remain faithful to one another. I'd go home on Holidays and we'd sneak away together and elevate our pent up sexual frustration in (as the k**s say) marathon fuck sessions.

Time passed and we grew even closer. When April graduated Highschool she applied for Larchmont University, my school. I was ecstatic, but her mother had reservations espe... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 506  |  
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The Hitch Hiker - Short Story

Jack Straw, 35, single forever, sales-man for stockings, lacy lingery and condoms, travels more miles through the lonely country than any one of us - it is his job! He doesn't meet many women on his long and dusty way through the outback, but he certainly longs for the once-in-a-lifetime encounter with a lady that will fulfill all his secret dreams!

Here I am once again on this endless and winding road through the deserted country side. The six cylinder motor of my old station wagon is humming comfortably under the broad bonnet as I ride along with seventy miles an hour. I am traveling li... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 505  |  
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