Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 76

The Italian Job 10

The Italian job 10
I must have dropped off to sl**p because the next thing I knew she was poking me in the ribs saying “come on sl**py, time to wake up” she said “I have some coffee for you” “what time is it” I said “10.00pm, we slept for 2 hours but I feel fantastic, you certainly managed to fill my void, thank you! not only for the sex but for making me feel like a real live woman again, the way your cock reacts to my nakedness is refreshing” she purred “you should get naked more often then” I said to her, she looked at me “are you saying you want to fuck me again?” she asked “ I don’t have... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 427  |  
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Facial Faux Pas

This story is completely true and takes place about 3 years ago (2009). I had been seeing my ex girlfriend for about 2 months at this time and we had done pretty much everything but sex. Normally we would see each other once maybe twice a week because we lived about an hour away from each other. So because we were teenagers, we just needed to do something sexual every time we go together. Usually this would end up in her giving me head, or me fingering her.

The reason we did not actually have sex is because we were both virgins and she wanted to wait a little while before we eventually ... Continue»
Posted by Monkeyfohead16 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 427  |  
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Many moons ago

Nature's Delightful twins (and body)

Twin Breasts

This story goes back many sunrises and moon sets.

(60 years ago things were different then> but good!)

I was a young 'strapper' back then playing football, horse riding and playing cricket and loved to swim.
At the age of 15 mum took sick so dad arranged for me to go and stay with some good friends of his at a favourite beach side town.
The people weren't rich and lived in an old railway cottage ( right beside the tracks) yet still close for a quick walk down to a lovely white sandy beach.
Here the waves were high but gentle but ... Continue»
Posted by free2speakmymind 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 427  |  
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Tow the Line: Part 2 "Party Where Your Heart

As I Stepped inside the J Dorm I could tell all eyes were on me. As I dodged awkward glances and pointed jabs I happened to catch a glimpse of Audrey leaning against a back wall.

"Hey Trash Can Guy!" she shouted waving me over.

"Sorry I never asked your name." she added as I crossed over.

"It's Nicholas Frost, most people call me Nick." I said lying...well not exactly, more like half truthing. Nicholas is my Middle Name, my first name is Calvin after President Coolidge (Don't ask me why).

"Nick I wanna properly introduce you to some friends. You met Damon already." she said poi... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 425  |  
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The Creation Of The Vagina

My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina


There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
Posted by Ari32 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 422  |  
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Bitter...But Oh So Sweet

As I sit here and write this I think to myself...this is still one of the most...well, when you read it you'll see what I'm talking about.

Around the same week I met a sexy BBW & a Atlethic yet thin guy:

She had chocolate skin, huge tits, a huge clit that stood straight up (she showed me via pics) & a thick ass that made you want to just bite it! She was very pretty in the face as well.

He was toned everywhere! His stomach was filled with muscle, his skin was carmel & smooth, HIS DICK WAS HUGE!

I talked to both of them eveyday. I was more of a friend to him and we saw each... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 422  |  
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Best Day

I was doing my cleaning duties, Big cotton pants, tan tights, Skirt and blouse from charity shop. Knock on the door, as usual I went to hide in the bathroom. Its ok you can come out. When I went in the lounge there was wifes best mate H. She smiled as I felt like dying. Oh I see what you mean!! My wife K said lift your skirt! I was close to tears. Look at those panties said H oh dear how sad are those?.

I was sent to shower and shave all my pubes. When I got to the bedroom there was a pair of French knickers and hold up stockings. A nice black bra with inserts plus a red underskirt. I dre... Continue»
Posted by davanamx 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 422  |  
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Conversations with Sallee...

(This post consists of random conversations with a girl I used to work with. We became good friends, and talked about sex a lot. We helped each other with advice when we needed it. I was lucky to call Sallee a friend. I wish it could have been more...But she was already married when we met. I apologize for it being such a long post, but it seemed better to keep it together than to try to break it up. Please feel free to comment!)

-----I remember the first time we ever talked about anything sexual. We used to sit at our own picnic table during our lunch break. Somehow we got to talkin... Continue»
Posted by likestopullout 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 420  |  
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young adventure

In our town back when I was a young teenager there was a man who used to frequent the Gent’s toilets. Today he would probably be considered a paedophile or at least a gay sex maniac. The Gent’s toilet was a dark lit building with very small windows up near the roof standing on the corner of a side street which was a cul-de-sac. There were individual old fashioned porcelain toilet stalls. The place used to have a very strong urine smell no matter when you went in there.
The man used to be standing facing into one of the stalls in the corner. When my pal and I or anyone went in he ... Continue»
Posted by trickydicky111 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 419  |  
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here's something for you and your buzzing bun

would u like to sit down on the bed and spread ur legs open... close ur eyes and lay back... i kneel infront of you and place my hands on ur boobs
mhmm
i squeez your boobs softly and slowly move my hand n pull ur nipples gently
i then lift my self up to ur boobs
and i start with soft kisses on ur left breat and then i move back to the right breat
i slowly and softly kiss around your nipples while every few kisses i flick my tongue on ur nipple
and i start to suck the right nipples softly and gently while flick my tongue on ur nipples
first i do it slow n then little bit faster and i mov... Continue»
Posted by str888888 12 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 419

One Night in April: Part 3

The next few weeks were challenging to say the least. Keeping our affair a secret while expressing animosity in public was trying for both of us. It got so bad that when we finally did have moments to ourselves we'd cry in each others arms.

Things became especially challenging when Brad's Mother invited me to their Timeshare in the Hamptons for a Month.

We'd be on the shore soaking up sun and i'd see April in her bathing suit and want desperately to fuck her. We'd quietly slip away and make out among the dunes or have a quick, passionate fuck in the last stall of a public bathroom but ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 418  |  
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The Italian Job 20

The Italian Job 20
The night went well with Maria giving her usual performance, she was staring at me as she took the guys in turn as they lined up to fill her with spunk, it was running down her legs in rivers by the time they had finished and got bored with her,
I was surprised because neither Sonia or Yvonne got involved with anyone else and there were plenty of potential suitors but they didn’t seem to want to know, Christina was still a bit sore in her arse but she took some guy in the pool that I think both eased the problem with her arse and took her mind off the problem because she... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 417  |  
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The Worm - Memoir

A few years ago, a good few years ago, I used to subscribe intermittently to a fetish mag called Axis which regular readers of my stories will already be aware of. You may even have heard of it; or even been members. It was, I think, a non-commercial enterprise but has now folded.

Anyway, the first meeting I had through it was with Mistress V, a lifestyle Domme, which I have already told you about.

A couple of years after Jodie and a couple of other girlfriends, and single, I encountered ‘The Worm’ and that’s what I’d like to share with you today…

*

I can't remember ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 4 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 417  |  
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The first time ( a meeting )

This is a true - ish story, but the names have been changed to protect the individuals.


His wife didn't understand him, she was too vanilla and he hated it. He wanted more passion, more excitement and he knew he was never going to get that at home. John had found something to keep himself, or his hands occupied too. I'm not sure, maybe he wanted to feel more wanted.
The sex site he had found had great video's on it, plenty of choice, and a world away from anything he had ever experienced ever.
John and Sara had mutual friends and had started dating, and as one by one their friends go... Continue»
Posted by redhead123 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 418  |  
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Are you gay?

Are you gay?
For the record, I’m not. If I was, I’m not sure that I would admit it, but I like to think I would.

Who knows?

The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.

Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.

The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.

What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.

Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative pla... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 418  |  
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The Torture

You are home alone. You find yourself looking around to determine what next to do. Wow, it’s been so long since you had the house to yourself. You sit on the couch thinking, “Hmmm what to do?” You end up falling asl**p on the couch. Sweet dreams begin.
In your dreams you smell lavender and you get this feeling that someone is with you, but who? This dream is peaceful and you find yourself relaxing. This person with you has soft hands, you think to yourself, “don’t let this dream stop it’s been too long since someone has made me comfortable”. Your entire body has been gently massag... Continue»
Posted by Feistybabe63 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 416  |  
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Theatrical..... 25

Theatrical…….25

The table had been fairly quiet up till then and afterwards the conversation started, most of it was about energy matters and from ear wigging some of the conversation’s I gathered that Gerald had been given a standing ovation for his talk that afternoon, no wonder the company wanted to award him, then I began to panic, what was I supposed to do if he was called to accept this award, should I go with him, should I remain seated, what?,
I couldn’t ask him, it was all meant to be a surprise, “oh fuck, what was the protocol in these circumstances, I looked at Del, I had to st... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 12 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 416

Surfing Porn at the Office Can Lead to a Promotion


A new study recently released by researchers purports to show that men who surf porn at the office are up to 69 percent more likely to be promoted to a management position when compared to men who refrain from such activities.

In another surprising discovery based on the same research, scientists reported that as many as 6.9 percent of male white collar employees spend at least two hours per day viewing pornography on any given work day, with Wednesday being the day of peak porn viewing activity.

"It would be an understatement to say that we were thrilled to uncover these results," sai... Continue»
Posted by krisp05 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 414  |  
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Brief sex 06 he is In the next room

Brief sex 06

In the next room.



In principle, I do not like dredging or yield to the advances of women friends. But sometimes circumstances play tricks on us. Her name was Sophie, it was the wife of a friend with whom I had made it part of my studies. Say that Sophie had left me indifferent, no, it would be wrong. I always watched this chick with a lot of desire.

I was happy for my friend Andrew, but hey, be respectful does not prevent having eyes. The plastic Sophie approached perfection. Tall brunette with long hair, her skin was golden tan always perfect. His oval face her ... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 414  |  
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chating spanish wife

My fingers peck at the keyboard as I blink at the screen, the words glowing fuzzily back at me. I reach out and take a sip of my soda to wet my drying lips. I read over her words again.

{my pussy is so wet for u}

I glance at my response in the send box before hitting return, watching my words magically appear on the screen before me.

{r u playing with urself now?}

I couldn't believe how wrapped up in this I had become. I never went into chatrooms before, the whole interest of computers and Internet communication escaping me, but sitting home by myself for days upon days, nothing to... Continue»
Posted by zopri 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 414  |  
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