Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 76
*first try at this let me kno wat u think
As i came in from a long days work and started to undress to get in the shower i saw her wit her dirty blonde redish hair staring at me wit those bluish green eyes and teasing me by slowly unbuttoning her top button and letting her boobs fall in such a way as if they were like a gentle deer. My eyes filled such wit delight i thought tht they wuld pop outa my head. I siad to her "wow ...ukno i lov coming home to a hottie like u! But i gotta get a shower im dirty!' she looked down at my pants and saw the half erection in my pants and said 'yes yes u r... Continue»
So, like, there was this woman, and she had really big tits, because that’s sexy. I mean, really big tits, like, she could topple an orphanage with them, and that’s sexy. And there was this guy; he didn’t have big tits, because that’s not very sexy. And one day he was like “hey, let’s do sex”
and she was all like “okay.”
So they started having sex and the guy was like “oh yeah” and the girl was just lying there like a corpse because that’s sexy and then the guy was all like “ooh, you feel like my mom”
and the girl was just like “uhh.”
The guy was giving it to her... Continue»
Well, since this is my very first post here, I know I will be screwing something up as I go along. Please bear with me.. :)
I am always a believer of strong relationship. No matter how rocky a relationship is, love will find it's way to unite the two hearts. Many of us may have different fetishes but I am pretty sure that this is for the pleasure of the other partner. You may share your husband and wife, make them your slave or anything that you can think of, but at the end of the day, both of you will be back together sharing the same love and remembering the vows that you have exchanged t... Continue»
I HAVE TO THANK RETROLOVER, as a result of talking with him, my memory was set back to Christmas DAy morning 1980 at 0134 me and Two Work Mates who i will call "TOM and DICK" were waiting for the Staff Coach to take us home, these coaches were either 24 or 82 seter jobs normaly. TOM says "Hay whats this coming our way" Dick "no Can`t be for us shorly" along came the usual coach driver exept hes driving my boy hood dream car the E-Type Jaguar Sports Car, For those who don`t know it, a two seater, the driver had not checked-in to see if there was anyone who needed it, he was aparently just passi... Continue»
Valerie paused in the stairwell to shift the heavy shopping bag. She had gone out late so had had to park her car right at the top of the multi-storey. And of course today the lifts were out of order!
The day had been hot so she was glad she had flung on the light shirt and short skirt. Even so, she caught a whiff of her own sweat as she toiled up the stairs; she looked forward to a nice shower when she got home! The clip of her light sandals echoed in the dim stairwell. She was sure she was alone so she suddenly jumped as a figure pushed past her.'My apologies !', the voice was reassuring, ... Continue»
There once was a man who was in love with his hand.
He sat on the can,
with his dick in his hand,
beating his meat on the porcilan seat.
"wouldn't it be sweet" he said,
"If I could simply get some head"
He moved his fat ass from the can to the bed. ... Continue»
Hi guys! This a different version of 'Gus takes the job on' as adapted by my friend Jack :)x
It’d been nearly three weeks since the auction, and Chess still found her thoughts wandering back to that afternoon whenever she was alone. She’d kept in touch with Gus, if a few flirty texts counted as keeping in touch, but now she had what seemed like a good reason to call him up and get him to make the journey to see her again.
She looked at his name on the screen of her phone, and a sudden wave of doubt grabbed her. She felt her heart start to race a little. What if it was just a one off thin... Continue»
She had no panties on and a mini skirt.
When he ate her pussy it made her squirt.
He thrust his hard-on deep inside
It felt so good she nearly cried.
"I've never been fucked quite like this,"
Then he pulled out and came on her tits.
"Oh we're not done yet; not even close.
Finger my ass hole."
"No, that's gross."... Continue»
Gym. 2:16 p.m.
"Since today you start weight training, there are a few machines that I want you to know that most of you will be trying today. Firstly, the Bicept Curls, is where you will be lifting weights, but since you are all only in grade eight, I surely hope most of you will be able to lift ten pounds," Mr. Richard said, looking at all of us while we all laughed and I grinned, elbowing my friend Shyla who yelped, rubbing her arm and giggled as I kept looking at the teacher and then at Matt, who was across the room, talking to his buddies and they laughed as his eyes turned to mine and... Continue»
I woke up in the Bundys living room. Peg sat next to me looking quite sexy as she had just had her boobs done last season and looked very curvy in her usual attire. Marcy Darcy sat on my other side acting all goofy and horny. She wore a knee length skirt shiny hose and spiked heels, unlike her 3" grandma pumps she usually wears. Kelly sat on the arm of the couch looking confused.
Peg told me I was there to teach Kelly how to please a man without having to give it up. Marcy said yes just watch and learn, "easy Marcy" peg quipped.
As peg pulled down my shorts and released my sl**p boner it... Continue»
I'll never forget when she told me she shaved.
It caught me off gurd .after all we were eating at a barbecue restraunt.I thought she meant her legs.she said "no,down there".February 1998. She has yet to grow back her full bush. She said she likes it better.I was always hoping I would get to see all the pussy hair she could grow.After all she is a hot mexican MIlf but she just stays my friend.I like to take her shopping and at times buy her clothes,dresses,outfits,shoes and yes,pantys.little does she know when I buy her panties without her,I usually bust a nut on them.I know she doesn't wash a... Continue»
Today is the day where we want to meet, you are ringing on the door and I open it. As greetings we kiss. Then we talk and watch a film. For that we are laying on the couch and you have your hand on my leg and my arm is around your shoulder.
The film is a kind of romantic comedy with a lot of kissing. During the watching your hand is wandering up and down my leg and remains on my dick and my hand is wandering down to your breasts and is knead it a bit. Then we kiss smoothly and we take off our shirts and I continue with your breasts. Then I take off your trouser and continue kissing ... Continue»
I wrote this for a ladyfriend whom I went on to have a wild weekend with - ish!
After reading it, she claimed to have rushed to her nearest pub, picked up a man and then fucked his brains out! See what you think!
The sand was so white and pebble-free it could have been snow, but for the intense heat from the cloudless blue sky.
The Mediterranean Sea was crystal clear, very warm and very welcoming.
Mandy marvelled at the view, she was a week into her holiday with her partner and her tan was starting to brown away the sore red burns.
She sat her small frame up on the sun-lounger, i... Continue»
She reaches around and tugs him out of his boxers.
“Uh, Crowley’s Books… do you, what are ah… excuse me… what…”
“Really!” She wraps one leg around. “I used to work there. I was a leftover for a while, you know, a call-in? Fucking Simon, wanted to fucking castrate him sometimes. Does Barak still work there?”
And he’s unable to follow her words, following her smile, and strange figures emerge from her lips, a lipstick formed from the bl**d of saints and martyrs to her causes and it’s coming loose of her lip... Continue»
_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_
I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Jamie and Nicky turned up outside my bedroom window late one night. They wanted some fun, it was about 11pm, s****rs were in bed and parents still at work. I risked it as I was horny and snuck out of the house and went for a ride with the two bad lad studs in Nicky’s knackered but strangely sexy car.
We drove around for bit, I was sat in the back seat with Jamie and Nicky driving.
They were in their hoodie chav gear and I was wearing a tight white t shirt with hearts on it and a short white skirt. I had my hair my usual Maria style and my nose stud was in. I knew what we were doing so ... Continue»
Chapter VII – Their Armchair (based on Love Diary No. 41 cover, Orbit-Wanted, circa 1949)
I guess everyone has fantasies and fetishes, but how do you say about someone who wants to have sex in the armchair you just bought for your best friends because you felt envy of their ‘adventures’
Me and Charlotte just found this beautiful and stylish armchair as a gift for Keith and Donna, which were to move to a new house. The armchair was so awesome and fittable that we resisted till the last urge to buy it for ourselves an... Continue»
Time to head to the gym. Shay and I work out regularly (of course you know this if you follow her hot blog. www.thegirlform.com ) It's about a 30 min drive and we don't always get to go together.
Today was one of those days. Every morning I wake up with the Hardest Cock ever. I mean what do you expect I sl**p next to the Shay Every night. I generally rub up on her pretty good and if she feels like giving me a treat she will FUCK me right then and there. Today was not one of those days, so I left the house with a raging hard on. She Loves this! and she knows she wields the power to ma... Continue»
Igot shouted waving the letter at his wife Her-Peas. She could see it looked official but as she hadn’t read it, couldn’t tell what it was even though her husband was wafting it around like some demented swan trying to take off.
“I don’t know dear, she smiled
“It’s only a letter from Pen.E. Sillen and Aunty Biotics they are planning to marry. It’s a big enough disgrace to the f****y that she married that Biotics bloke but a Sillen.
Igot was pacing up and down. He very rarely became ruffled and was normally a very smooth operator. That was one of the reasons Her-... Continue»