Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 76
I work in the fashion indstry so a lot of my mates are homosexual, I've been told by my homosexual friends guys do it better, deepthroat, hand jobs and general fucking. So me not being one to judge before hand, I started browsing Craigslist and found a candidate who's a bottom, after brief discussion, I went to his apartment, to which was as stated in his ad, the door wasn't closed only ajar, I walked in, a few meters from the computer was a blanket covered person with a hole for my dick to travel through to the mouth.
Me figuring this is it, unzipped and plunged my dick into his mouth, mak... Continue»
The stories I´m posting here are absolutely true
2010, December 10
About 11:05 am
A hot bath almost always helps against a small cold. After a few cold hours at the weekly market the hot water could warm up and relax your body. And so did Claude who was lying in his large tub but there was no sign of ease in closed eyes. He put his arms to the sides and his half opened mouth occasionally moaned.
Suddenly I surfaced fitfully from the water and had to breathe heavy. The idea to give him an underwater blowjob was hot and realization actually was okay, but I always got out of breath. H... Continue»
It was a hot summer day in the windy city. I was at my girlfriend's house watching the Cubs play the Reds in Wrigley Field. My girl Lisa was a big Cubs fan but I was into the White Sox so we always debated on which team was better. Lisa, a hottie with flaming red hair, five foot five, and a body that wouldn't quit. On a hot day she wore short shorts and sandals and already I was feeling hard below the belt. The game was at the bottom of the eleventh inning with the game tied at three. With the game on the line I had to keep my mouth shut otherwise Lisa would have a fit. She was afrai... Continue»
Seven wise men with the knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last was... Continue»
There is a man on this site by the name of Snake92666
He is fairly well-known on this site, with over 36,000 comments and over 600 friends.
He is also amusingly homophobic.
I found this out one day, a little over a month back. I had left him a comment on his profile asking about the reason he explicitly stated twice in a row, in capital letters, that he was "100% straight." It seemed a little fishy to me, especially when his "about me" also contained several links to pictures of his penis, with overstated invitations for women to admire and men to avoid.
So I left him a comme... Continue»
This is a true story. I was once involved with a woman who had an on-again, off-again boyfriend. He was an alcoholic, and kind of a lout. At one point they even got engaged, even though he sometimes hit her. Eventually she broke that off, but even while she was 'with' him she kept having sex with me. It wasn't about romance, just sex and friendship.
Anyway, one day we were on her bed: she was wearing a sexy bra and panty set, which was kind of getting in the way, because she was on top of me, and we were in the "69" position, with me holding the panties to one s... Continue»
I am so hot and horney I need to take a walk and find some young slut with a big hairy dick to call my own. Born without a dick or a pussy I only have a tight ass and a willing mouth and I want something hard up my ass...something to explode inside of me and I don’t care if it is big or small as long as it is willing....
So I parade up and down the street faceless and with a hairy open ass to accept what ever comes along. and there is a man under the bridge with one of those of funny signs that say...I’ll fuck for food,,,,and he is so cute and he turns out to be a she and she has a willing mo... Continue»
“Hello love, I'm home”, I said as I closed front door.
There was no reply. After three day she still wasn't speaking to me. When I say not speaking that is not exactly the truth. Not speaking means I was actually being treated to a series of monologues about my grievous faults. Whenever I tried to say something in my defence, it was ignored. I must have apologised about a dozen times. It seemed that wasn't enough. She was really going to milk this one for all it was worth.
She appeared out of the kitchen, wearing a dressing gown and a look of disdain as she brushed past me and went u... Continue»
While on a vacation in the far north east part of India, On the day before I was due to leave the resort I was staying in, I had this singular experience, which I am about to relate.
The place I was staying in was in the forrests, by a lonely road, with plenty of vegetation. The cottage like living quarters were far apart, with a big garden with walkways and lawns separating them. I was enjoying the quietness of the place. For most of my vacation I was the lone guest, until a group of three very young college students arrived. Well, the people of the north-east are more chinese-looking
She is the one who has made me do this! I was saying to myself when I found myself sl**ping beside her. It was an intoxicating night none of us knew that it will lead to this but it was fun, hell of a night to experience. I never thought that I will ever get into bed with her so easily. She is one the most beautiful woman I have ever seen; she has the perfect figure with flash in right proportion in right places.
I was mesmerized by her beauty the moment I saw her and she understood the effect she had on me (which she used to her full advantage that night). It was my cousin’s bachelor part... Continue»
Local women and wife of a truck driver was hot. The day he left she started calling the local boys. I had my opportunity and jumped on her like a rabbit. Was a young k** and excited to feel her adult hot box. Friend and I took turns fucking and watching the other fuck. She would call the other over and suck him hard before the other finished. She fucked us both dry and sucked my cock sore. I was know for having a big cock, but I was young then. The terry b*****rs were the lost teen long cock swingers. Frined and I knew where to get and watch her bed room.
One terry b*****r bent her over the ... Continue»
I climbed out of bed, yawning. It was Monday -brilliant. Everybody's favourite day, I don't think. At least I wouldbe able to see Clio and her s****r, my crush Jennifer again - they had been on vacation inBarbados for two months now. For Clio, that probablywould have been Hell. Her parents probablyf***ed her to go outside andsocialise, and Cliowould rather blow her own brains out than do that - though I think every f******n year oldgirl these days thinks that way.
In school, Clio, TJ, Matty, Jennifer and I were all having lunch. Clio, who generallystays away from her younger s****r, looked ... Continue»
"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."
She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
As, I sat naked on my bed front of my laptop, checking my emails; a usual email message came up on my computer, it reads: 'Open immediately from Chuck'. Curious, I open the email, and its show a picture of me lying on the bed with my legs spread open. It's more like I just finish masturbated! Shock, and confused, I replied back to Chuck and ask; 'How did you get that picture?' Chuck respond; ' I snap you while you were into your devotion. ‘You made my dick very hard.' I wasn't afraid, or, show no fear; I was more curious where Chuck was hiding? Is he nearby? Or, peeping at me from an open... Continue»
Heat-activated, anti-wrinkle, iPod-charging … today's bras are about as high-tech as computers. They have complex support systems and multiple operating modes. They're priced just a bit shy of a PC.
The quest for the perfect bra can lead women to extremes of shopping, trying on and spending without ever finding the One. And there's a reason for that: There is no perfect bra. High-tech bells and whistles and the brand new, ultimate design are just the side show. The main event is much simpler. It's the fit.
A well-fitting bra does two things: It supports and it enhances. Holds 'em and sha... Continue»
This is another true story about the chick I worked with at the factory. It just came to mind and I thought I'd better post it before I forgot it again. I hope you enjoy and please leave comments. Thanks!
I spent the night at her place and as usual when we went to bed, we fucked. I swear this bitch loved to fuck more than any other woman I've ever met! and it was very easy to make her cum, I've never seen a woman that was able to cum that easily and in so many different ways! Oh yeah and the best part...She was a squirter (my first and only one)I loved that about her! Ok here goes. Like ... Continue»
The Italian Job 25
The next morning I went to the factory and completed the reprogramming of the computer control, we were now 2 weeks into the job but Antonis had decided that as he had me there and he wanted me to stay for the duration promising me a bonus if all went well over the next 2 weeks, this was good news because it was just a 2 weeks holiday with the occasional trip to the factory although if they had a problem they could call me or page me as the hotel had leant me a bleeper, that worked on the phone system, Maria was full of herself anyway because she had fucked Carlos even tho... Continue»
Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.
"Deleting file." was all the screen said.
There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
I love my job, don't get me wrong. But I have had a hard life, I mean, my hair is a mess, my f****y are nuts, my neighbour is an asshole, and my master beats me. However, there is one good thing that has made my life complete is my best friend Patricia Pussy.
I wouldn't have a bad word said about Patricia Pussy. She is sweet and enjoys making me cum. She is also very funny. Like one time her owner took her to a bridge, and threatened to piss off the bridge like men do.
So the owner goes to the side of the bridge, squats over the the water and pulls down her knickers and she tells her f... Continue»
It was almost ten thirty when they finally reached their destination. For about the last hour, once the sun had definitely gone down, Sylvia had ridden in the front of the car, giving Danny directions to an old unused factory on the industrial side of town.
Danny parked the limo next to the only other car, a black Porsche with darkened windows.
"Now when we're in there I want you to act subservient," instructed Sylvia.
"Don't worry honey," replied Danny with a smirk, patting Sylvia's thigh. "I'll be your little bl**d slave."
"I'm serious," Sylvia insisted. "Especially around Anita. I'll ... Continue»