Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 75

First time... kind of. still!!

My previous and first story was left off with my gf and I getting it on behind a movie theater. So I'll still keep some stories of this same girl again. My Girlfriend (Lisa) at the time was still trying to hold on to her virginity because of her religious background but she still wanted to have anal sex..just this time not in the dead of winter like the first time...so after her and I had our first anal experience behind the movie theater, our school week was dedicated to teasing each other while at school. We would grab each other going to classes as a game. Example of it was id be walking to... Continue»
Posted by Placebo_Effect 10 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 572  |  
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RIGHT PLACE BUT WRONG TIME..

I met this girl at the store about two weeks ago. We talked on the phone for awhile before she invited me to her house which was about an hour away. The next morning she picked me up and we went there. The girl didnt waste no time getting down to business. We fucked in the bed on the floor and in the shower.NOW this happend every day but one day i noticed these shoes and wondard to myself whose were they but i diddnt say anything. The next time i went routine as usual,we made it the shower and as im pounding her ass from behind someone walked in the bathroom guess what it was her boyfriend. He... Continue»
Posted by MJG007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 571  |  
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In the Alps

As we step through the door, all heads turn towards us. Entering the restaurant, we are able to see down the Austrian Alps peak to a large lake. The view from the cable car ride was spectacular but the one from the summit is unrivaled as it is a panoramic view of the region. The headwaiter greets us and with a smile asks if we have a reservation. I reply with my last name. He locates it on his guest list and leads us to our table.

My tailored silk suit is dark gray with trousers breaking atop well-shined black leather shoes. A silk Jerry Garcia tie compliments the colors of the suit. I a... Continue»
Posted by tigerx1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 571  |  
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How I control my Master...!

He always calls right about now. Nighttime's darkest moment, when only the desperate are awake. Naked under the covers my body aches from use but hums with anticipation. Twenty-one years old, it’s never felt so alive.
Like I knew it would, the phone rings, it’s him. He’s looking for a fix, a little naughtiness before sl**p. A thousand miles away, he breathes into my ear, the opening moments of a familiar ritual with a different twist every time.
We met over the summer. Right after I broken up with my college boyfriend. I was inexperienced; he was not. Battered but handsome, he took my fres... Continue»
Posted by pujaraje 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 570  |  
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A favour for Misty 4

A favour for Misty 4
You remember I have just been called its late afternoon and I am in the company of her indoors and I don’t know what the silly cow has hatched with Misty, I am freshly showered , recently slept and a worried man as she who must be obeyed has as yet not spoken on the subject of the big fat lady over the road who is a devoted sub and a sex mad maiden who we have rescued from committing suicide!...with me so far or do you want time to re read parts 1,2 and 3? Ok here we go again then.
Realising I have committed the silly mistake [in my defence I had a hangover from the e... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 2 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 570  |  
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Big Boobs and a Bit of Luck

One of the many jobs I have had was at an electronics store which was pretty boring, except for the rare times when I would get to serve a hot busty customer.

I remember the first time that Sara walked in the door. It was a hot summers day, she was probably about 155cm (about 5'2" I think) she had a purple singlet top on, that barely could contain her bountiful breasts, with tight fitting 3/4 cutoff blue jeans and her short blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail. I'm a bit of a boob hound, so I was guessing a DD minimum but more likely an E cup.

As she walked in, I got a great look at h... Continue»
Posted by Luvboobs15 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 569  |  
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Oh, to be young again

A man walks into a d**g store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men
use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks,
"Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pac... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 566  |  
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Ghostfinger-----totally non-porn, but funny as hel

This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.

It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
Posted by joewaterford 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 566  |  
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Party House

Years ago there was a fun party house my friends and I use to hang out at. A mutual older friend owned the place. It was a drafty old farmhouse secluded in an urban area. Almost every night someone would buy a keg of beer and people would just seem to show up. It was a great time in my life I was young and carefree now I miss those days.

I first met Dave at the party house and at first glance I found him rather unappealing. He was just an average looking guy, with not a lot to offer. I barely acknowledged his presents at the parties most of the time. He is kind of a bulky built guy wi... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 565  |  
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European Closeness

-------- European Closeness --------

I met an older but very attractive woman, Tascha, at a local shopping center. Her middle European accent, exotic looks, and damned good figure and legs caught my attention, and I did my very best big strong young soldier act on her, helping to reach an item on a top shelf for her. I pulled the old gag about being an ignorant bachelor, not knowing what to select for supper. Smiling, she joined me in shopping and helped me fill my cart, making suggestions for easy to fix, tasty, good meals. We found ourselves getting along very well, and she invited me... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 565  |  
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Get Your Man Into Eating Your Pussy


A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,

1. Initiate Sex:

Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 564  |  
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White couple sharing a black cock

.

At this particular time in my life, I was 42 years old
and thinking of the possibility of actually
experiencing a young black man, and I had one in mind. He
recently started to work at the same place I was
employed. He needed money to start his college education
and had accepted a position in the stock room. We
seemed to hit it off from the start. He was a nice
looking young black guy with light brown skin.

I could see that he admired my 5 ft 2 inch, 120 lb
body, as his eyes would wander up and down my body. I
really liked to be admired by any man but to be admired
... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  Views: 564  |  
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i love myspace

ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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Oil be damned!

(Based on fact but mostly fiction. Hope you enjoy.)

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body. As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. When that happens it usually means they are busy... Continue»
Posted by Bulletin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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shaving my arse




Guest


Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS



STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Posted by chairmanmoo 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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SUNBURNED IN SAN DIEGO

Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:

"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?

Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Alien in town / there really are Orions

In my younger days, I was a decent amateur photographer. Once, when a friend got married she asked me to take her pictures. I agreed to do them for free if she bought the film. Neither f****y had much money and she readily agreed. Her future spouse came from a f****y where both mother and father had c***dren by previous marriages as well as some together. Except for the future groom, all were girls and all from 16 years old and up.Again, to save money, the mothers bought material and started sewing the dresses for the bridesmaids, most of whom were the groom's s****rs. They chose a bright for... Continue»
Posted by sometimesbored 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Boatscrew

Boatscrew
So we up anchored or at least unstrung the thing from the pontoon and with the diesel throbbing, off we set. Now me I ain`t no sailor, so this was to be a hit and miss affair, health and safety would have a kitten if they knew. Mandy and I had won the lottery and on an impulse had bought a cruiser, yes I know, daft wasn`t it. Anyway, we needed to get the thing home and my persuasive misses, Mandy, had convinced me that midsummer, flat sea and it would be a breeze to get back to Essex, from Brighton if we took a can or two of fuel and our road map, kept the coast in sight and wandere... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Not exactly a Sex Story



As the title says this is not exactly a sex story. Before I start this story, I want to tell a few things about myself. People call me different. I take it as an compliment. Some call me a sexual fanisizer, again thanks for the compliment. I never feel akward talking about sex with anyone. Rather I feel comfortable. I have no issues speaking with girls. I mingle with everyone. This is all u need to know.
I had crushes on many girls right from my college days and its always been a sexual desire. I watch porn every... Continue»
Posted by nagz 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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crazed and aimlessly wanting

it all starts in the morning. i wake up and i need it bad. i manage to make it to work on time. it take so much will power to do anything. it's more like ignoring how much my body wants it. i day dream about writing. but i do want to make a connection. i hope someone picks this up. i'm trying to make you see, be here with me. naked on my chair. i want it to be real for you. i'm hard, on and off. my asshole is so aroused from the cold wood chair. my arm pits are a little sweaty. i like writing about my biggest turn ons. in great detail. but maybe you want to hear something real? there's plenty ... Continue»
Posted by wolfbuddah 10 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 560  |  
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