Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 75

Jan 1973 Bondi Beach

This is only part of a WORK IN PROGRESS


As the singer was exhorting the crowd to take part, she took three steps in my direction and smiled even more. She said the line perfectly in tune "I looked at you" and I answered, "You looked at me" and we both laughed. Another miracle, this was a girl who liked The Doors almost as much as I did. “I smiled at you," she said, and again I answered, "You smiled at me." At the exact moment the band on stage finished their intro to the war song both of us sang together, "And we're on OUR way."
Everyone in the crowd heard it and wonde... Continue»
Posted by DocW 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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evil slave girl

I'll start by saying, I have been in the local BDSM Scene now for some 20 odd years, about 3 years back, at HF, I was to cane a real pain puppy, as this was something she had worked herself up to for 8 weeks, the deal was I would give her 250 strokes, what I didn't know at the time was, she had a gf from another city with her that night.

This gf is now my collared slave, my property. All that happened that night at our first meeting was I gave her a very nice little spanking on the A-Frame.
We hit it off very well after that, some 6 months later I made the offer of giving her my Collar
... Continue»
Posted by Master_Peter 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Waiting For A Chance With Mom




Hi i am Karthi age 23 i am complete my B.Tech n job searching. Right now i got a problem so please tell me friends how can i solve this.

I am living with mom because my dad doing job in another city. So me n mom are staying my home my dad visits every 2 weeks. My mom is very beautiful n 5.6’ height. I had one habit that is when my mom doing bath in bathroom then i am peeping through the ventilator to saw her nude body. I am doing this act in last 3 years. But one day, mom doing bath in bathroom and that time i am peeping
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Payback

12.00am - I was in the bathroom and I placed the weapons in the holdall of our backpacks. "We have got to get this right!" commanded one girlfriend. Another one of my girlfriends sat in the reclining chair, pondering. "Having second thoughts?" "Me? no way" said another one of my girlfriends. "Its pay back". I stepped out of the bathroom and ushered the girls to the door. There were four of us.

12.30am - It was night and the air was cool. We pulled up outside John Rosh Avenue, near the Olympic Park, in London,. Very quietly, we approached No 41, pulled on our stockings over our head... Continue»
Posted by rockyharte 10 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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chinese ball torture chapter two

I knew it was danny’s last night in town. I wanted to make it special. It was his idea to go see a play at a fancy theater. My dad was a douchebag about some issues. Trust me I still got away with murder. He was old fashioned about making me wait until I was sixteen to have my first real date. I hated him for that shit. I was not your average k**. I had a huge secret. Right after I turned f******n my dad got me a job at the restaurant where he worked. It was all kinds of i*****l and corrupt. People thought I was a slacker in my advanced classes. Nearly every weeknight I worked from... Continue»
Posted by linmarris 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Boy Having Fun When Parents Out For Temple Run



Hi this is Rishi, age 23 from Mumbai; my height is 6.1 ft. I have a 6 inches long dick and it’s a little broad as said by my earlier gfs. This story is about me and a friend of mine named “Jyoti”.’She was with me in my degree college. She is 24 yrs old.5.3 in height a little on the bulkier side with assets of 38d 32 36 the best part about her is her boobs their shape can be easily seen through her top. I don’t think she might have ever worn a plain bra there were always fancy designs on her cups with different colors and which ... Continue»
Posted by bava12 9 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Welcome To The Nieghbour Hood,Cally!

New Jersey-2006

well it was around spring when Cally arrived.
i was just walking shop when i saw a moving van next to my house,
there was a brunette girl who looked around my age,
long brown hair,curves to die for,and bright blue eyes.


i went over to introduce myself i asked her how old she was and i was right she was 16
after a while her mother asked her to go shop so we both went.
on our way back she asked me what school i attend.
it turns out she attending there next week
so i said i will knock on for her and walk school
that morning i made sure i looked my best i dont know ... Continue»
Posted by charlie-xxx 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Fuckn My Flat 2



My hands were shaking at the anticipation, she grabbed the back of my neck and brought me in for another deep kiss, my fingers danced lightly over the mounds of her boobs grazing the hard nipples as my hand got closer to her glistening thighs. I moved my hands over her pussy lips. Wet doesn’t even get close to describing her. This girl was hot and dying for some hard cock to make her scream. Her back arched as I lightly moved her wet lips apart, her panty gusset was soaked through with it as I dragged them off her, her ass raising in the air to help giving me a waft of her pu... Continue»
Posted by salahgabr 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Sperm Count

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day.

The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?

Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mo... Continue»
Posted by Deecee29 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Surprise BJ

"Oh my God! That girl's booty is SO fat!" laughed Rico as Elyse walked by. "You think you can get with that, T? Elyse Greer is the FINEST girl at Sanctuary High School. If you got with her, you would be top dog around here."





Those words stuck with me all my junior and senior years of high school. Elyse really was one of the most beautiful girls at SHS, but that is not why she was the most desirable; guys wanted her because they couldn't have her. Elyse was a good girl in the body every bad girl wanted. She had the most perfect DD tits that would make Pam Anderson cry and butt so jui... Continue»
Posted by ballzyturtl 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Memoirs of a strip club chef

A long time ago, I had the dubious honor of working as a cook at Sugar’s. The club was billed as a gentlemen's cabaret, although even back when the neighborhood was more prosperous the joint was always a bit seedy. Any building without windows and smoking allowed inside can’t help but turn into a den of ill repute.

The kind of place you’d see a midget cock slapped in the face by a giant lemon horse dick.

I myself was just another face back in the kitchen, where I started as a dishwasher and slowly learned how to cook everything the club had to offer. For the most part we were faceless, ... Continue»
Posted by Beowulf_S 11 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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lil s****r...dam it

so me n my gf were layin in bed cuddlin wen reach dwn n startd 2 rub my cock. i told her 2 stop bcuz her lil s****r was aimlessly walkin around her house. she continue n got me hard. so i startd playin wit her tits. she got up,closed tha door n undressd. i did 2. she hops on top n stickz my cock inside her. she grabz my hands n places dem on her ass n tells me 2 smack it hard. about a minute into it her s****r walks in n she startd screamin. i push my gf n cover her wit a blanket. her s****r starts laughin n leaves. my gf was so embarress dat she gets dress (so do i) n tells me 2 leave.... Continue»
Posted by thamack408 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Cum cuisine excerpt

Planning to expand the story out more for future publication

My husband is a picky eater. Well, I take that back, he is a finicky, superstituous, overtly paranoid and down right trippy eater. The steak has to have the right amount of seasonings in it or he won't eat a bite.
Eggs have to be fried until they look, feel, and taste like rubber. Sweets can't be too sweet, but loads of chocolate on a sweet is ok. The fish can ONLY be wild caught, not farm raised (which had me hunting all over the beaches for a local fish market).
And his coffee? Freshly roasted and brewed each morning ... Continue»
Posted by juniysa 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Dream Job (Everyman's fantasy)

The California Board of Education meeting once again ran late into the night. The stale air became stifling in the August evening, as the air conditioning units had been shut down over an hour ago. Tempers started to flare, as discussions had become as hot as the California sunshine. Arguments were heard and heard again with no end in sight.

"Look," said the chairman flatly, "we have to find a solution and soon. The dropout rate in the Southern California School system is at an all time high. Attendance rates are the worst in decades. Our federal funding is in jeopardy. If we don't fix this... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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English Pastimes (A day at the races)

Well a good day out at the races never fails to get me horny,the Sport of Kings,
watching horses run round a track is fascinating, I am usually lucky and win my stake back by the end of the day.
But I really go for the spectacle, Ladies Day at Royal Ascot is excellent for people watching, get to wear a hat,generally be elegant and a lady for the day.
Well until the Champers hits my heels.
It was at such an occasion I was recruited for the Pony Club, I am the Strawberry Blonde who actually believes they have taken the word gullible out of the English Dictionary.
So I will begin...

Stand... Continue»
Posted by DiamondLife 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Perils of Dating Supergirl, Part 2

Hi there!

My Name is Robert Shephard, but most people call me Bobby. I was living an average life, I had a good job teaching High School Chemistry, and was dating an absolute knock out named Linda. Then everything changed when I (through a complete fluke) discovered she was in reality Supergirl.


Messed up huh?

A Day after I discovered the truth I found myself Orbiting the Earth in a Massive Space Station called "Watchtower".

"This is the Coolest.....thing....ever!" I said pressing my face against the glass.

"It is beautiful isn't it." Kara said. "Sometimes I forget just how... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Lets Meet

WE TALKED ON THE PHONE AND YOU SOUNDED NERVOUS....TALKING MUCH SHIT TO A GIRL.....TELLING ME WHAT ALL YOU WOULD DO TO THE PUSSY..IM LIKE YEAH RIGHT ANOTHER MAN TELLING ME THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HIT IT LIKE IT NEED TO BE HITTED....

SO I SAT THERE LISTENING TO YOU BLOW ALL THIS STEAM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH...THEN FINALLY I ASK YOU WAS YOU THROUGH USING UP YOUR ENERGY TALKING...YOU SAID HUH...I SAID ARE YOU THROUGH USING UP ALL OF YOUR ENERGY TALKING....

YOU ASK ME WHY..I SAY TO YOU PUT UP OR SHUT UP...PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS....YOU GOT QUIET....I SAY DONT GET QUIET NOW...YOU WAS TALK... Continue»
Posted by ladytrucka42 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Cum Face the Boyz

I am not sure if this story belongs under this category since it doesn't involve nudity, but I think this is the most appropriate place. Last week I went to visit the guy I am dating, Adam. We were hanging out alone at his parent's house (they were out) and we decided to order pizza. While waiting for the pizza we started to fool around a little bit in his living room, and I ended up giving him a blowjob. I was really getting into it (Adam's always into it!) when the doorbell rang. I immediately stopped and pulled my face away. At that same moment Adam ejaculated unexpectedly. After the first ... Continue»
Posted by oralTcmlvr 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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USE ME


My head pulled back, your hand in my hair holding my head stiff.
The position designed to create it im possible for me to resist, you want to take me your way and I must obey..


I'm bent over with my kness on the bed,my legs parted wide...my hands tied at the wrists between my legs, the long rope trailing down the length of the bed.
"Uh.....UH.....UH......UH......UH.......UH......UH" All that can be heard from my mouth as you ride me brutally. I feel my body vibrating with the f***e of the thrusts, my tits and ass dancing like jelly.


"Fuck, your Pussy's tight..Take this..."
I... Continue»
Posted by jadeandjasmin 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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SEXY KUWAIT LADY

That was winter days and she came from England after having vacations. Her house was in front row and there was a single street between our homes. In our area houses are quite big and no one knows that what is happening in someone’s home. My f****y has good terms with her f****y and we usually visit each other. This time she was alone and her daughters remained there and she came for selling her home. For this purpose she told my mom that she wants me to do this job as I have sound contacts in area. I readily accepted this assignment and met with her in her home. We were alone and she was tell... Continue»
Posted by fukkerguy 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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