Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 75
In case you are wondering, this is a James Bond gay spoof.
Riding in a personal e****t vehicle and in the back, I felt nice and cozy in my suit and white tie. I looked down as I sat in the large seat and could feel a nice poking in my black trousers. A nice tent rising up to meet me as I got comfy in my dress slacks. Damn it felt so good to be horny!
The portable screen in front of me shut on and a white haired woman named B appeared. I almost closed my legs at the surprise. I was never used to that woman showing up unexpectedly.
"That's my name."
"Enough of your je... Continue»
The 1st time I had sex with a BBW I was 17. I had sex before that but never with a big girl before but I had seen some BBW porn before and I did like it.
The girl wanted me for months (she had told me afterwards).She was latina, probably about 5'7, and weighed somewhere from 180-200lbs if I had to guess. We would go to the park and she would always bring liquor and we'd share stories of sex. I remember the 1st time I wanted to fuck her she had these tights on that made the outline of her ass and thighs look so plump, so delicious. I tried so hard to hide my dick as it was getting hard.
I opened my weak weary eyes, the glare from the bright sunshine obscured my vision,
as strange faces looked down upon me.
I could hear the sound of rolling waves from the sea, and my clothes felt heavy and wet.
My blonde hair was all matted from the salty water.
I had been lying u*********s on a sandy beach.
The handsome faces staring down at me were brown with a slight reddish tint to them.
I'd never seen faces like these before.
There was a mix of men and women, and some young boys and girls amongst the small crowd too.
They each had long strait thick black hair,
Both genders ... Continue»
Well, I have told you about two of my four Grannies, so it’s time to reminisce about Granny number three, Joan, a well built, sassy redhead from Chicago. She was somewhat stocky but made up for it with the nicest set of large boobs I have ever seen on a granny. They still had plenty of lift and always wore low cut tops; her cleavage poured out of her bra. Now being a big city girl she knew the score when it came to a guy like me. She knew I was fucking other women. I would call her looking for a date and she would ask “who did you fuck last night” I jokingly responded “it doesn’t matter, who... Continue»
Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.
Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.
And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.
"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as s... Continue»
My Experience in London
What impressed me a lot were the buildings in London like the buildings along Regent Street & Oxford Street which are of typical British style.Even the common residential houses were so nice.But houses looked similar,it wasn't easy for me to find the right way every time.
When people are talking about U.K.,talking about London,they have to refer to Buckingham Palace,Tower of London National Gallery and the British Museum.Luckily,I visited all of these great sights.Now they are not only big names to me,but also a part of my experience,a part of my memory.
My senior year of high school was filled with college apps, schoolwork, and spending most of my time hanging out with my friends, especially since we all would be going our separate ways when we went off on our separate ways to college. One day during lunch, my best friend Anthony invited all of us to the annual Halloween party his parents threw. The previous two years, I had been busy so I was often unable to go. However, this year I really wanted to go and get a chance to spend time with Anthony and my other friends. Plus, the good thing was I didn't have to dress up or look stupid or a... Continue»
So back to this evening, we drove off to the hotel, Julia and I marched through reception again, while my friend booked us in and got the key, same room, as we went to the room a door opened in front of us and the black waiter came out carrying his tunic, he smiled and walked past us back to the reception, “is that?” Julia asked, “yes, he seems popular all of a sudden” I said smiling at her, we got to the room and I threw myself onto the couch, kicking off my shoes as I chuckled at the recollection of what had happened,
Gerald came into the lounge from the bathroom where he ... Continue»
Men always wonder what woman want. Well I can tell you what this woman wants. It's three simple things....
1.Being told they are beautiful even if in their eyes they don't see it...someday they might. Even if she insists she's not she is just trying to take away years of hearing negative things and doesn't know how to take the good complaiment.
2. They like the know they needed and in return know they are appreciated and not just a warm piece of meat next to you at night or middle of day.
3. Every once in a while woman like for men to do something out of their comfort zone. Send her f... Continue»
47 Don`t call me Mum
Now I need to tell you my name is Wooster, not Berty from the book, but Tim, Tim Wooster, my body is large and my friends call me “big woose” for some reason and Freddy my mate refers to me a Forrest Gump though I don’t understand that either.
My mother when I was born 18 years back, had to have me adopted as she, being so young could not cope with a c***d at that time, so I have been searching for her for some time. Anyway I had one of those “genes recalled” efforts for Christmas and bingo it gave mothers name and grandfathers as well.
So being a nosey git ... Continue»
29, Single white male seeks similar age female with good looks and vibrant personality. I’m getting tired of writing that on internet dating sites. I started this journal to release my inner thoughts on paper but so far I've only confirmed my sexual inadequacies and personal hang ups. I’m creeping ever closer to 30 and I’m yet to find ’The one’ I've had 3 relationships in the past 10 years and had sex about as many times. I’m beginning to realise life isn't like the movies.
I've read plenty of erotic stories on the internet and seen even more Porn films. I should be an expert at this stuff... Continue»
Jools sat astride him. He didn't know where to look. She was so beautiful. So naughty. She wore flawless make-up. Her eyes smokey with shadow. Seductive. Her lips were a shiny gloss. She wore a red and black corset. One nipple slipping into view as she leant forward and kissed him. Between his naked thighs, his cock twitched against her fishnet stocking clad leg.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard," whispered Jools, her voice a hot whisper in his ear. She nuzzled his neck. Took one of his hands and placed it between her thighs. Under her palm his fingers rubbed at the sheer panties a... Continue»
Now her new boyfriend is really, really annoyed about this blog about Sarah, my ex-girlfriend, so lets’ keep it going by another story about the horny bitch.
We were on holiday, somewhere on the Canary Islands. Lanzarote, I think. Two things happened on the holiday that her new boyfriend will hate to read about. I got a bit sunburnt one day, so the next day I couldn’t stay out in the sun too much. We were in a hotel room that overlooked some gardens with a lot of grassy areas and a few ponds. We had gone out to sunbath in the area of the gardens we could see from our room and after S... Continue»
Finally, we had our own car back and it was just in time too. We had already planned our vacation and even rented our room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee starting the following night. I lay in bed next to my wife as she was reading. She had a confused look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This sounds fake.” She replied, pointing at a page in the book. “But, I don’t know cars.” I rolled to face her.
“What sounds fake?”
She began to read to me from the book, which turned out to be a compilation of letters from the Penthouse Forum. It had been left at our house in Minnesota by one or the other ... Continue»
Trevor opened his eyes as the first rays of the Morning sun streamed through the open blinds.
"Did that really happen?" he asked himself. A quick glance at the bed next to him revealed Brad's lady friend Mandy, nude lying facedown in the bed. Trevor placed his hand on the small of her back and as he felt the warmth of her soft skin the events of the previous night came flooding back.
He noted that she couldn't have been less interested in him, and that it wasn't until he removed his glasses and looked at her with his naked eyes that she became sexually aroused. Perhaps the Crystallized... Continue»
After getting the best blow job I have ever had I was just lying there thinking why she left just like that. The I was thinking Kim was standing next to us the hole time not really paying attention to what was happening in the room. Then I noticed that Kim was looking at me and I began to think wow I'm still fully naked. I thought to myself I should maybe dress sins I didn’t know what would happen next. Just as I grabbed my underwear to put it on Kim said her first words to me. “You don’t need to do that it’s not over yet.”
My mind got stuck on that not over yet was going to happen. Then I... Continue»
Relatos Eroticos Gays
(12476 lecturas - 3 comentarios)
Publicado por dany6969 el 13 de Dic, 2012
En la despedida de soltero del novio de mi hermana yo tenia 14 años.
Cuando mi hermana y su novio se comprometieron en matrimonio, en casa no se hablama mas que de la boda por todos lados lo unico que escuchaba era de los preparativos y no me quedaba de otra que estar siempre en medio de todo escuchando lo que se decia.
Cuando llegaron las amigas de mi hermana las vi que todas se fueron al cuarto a reunirse y yo las segui para escuchar lo que hablaban de... Continue»
The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.
I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»
When I had my first fingering, I was fresh out of high school and had just met the man who became my husband. He was a few years older than me but still a virgin and I was his first girlfriend. I too was a virgin. It was two weeks after we started dating that he wanted to fuck me. I wanted to fuck him too. He came by one night and we were out in the front of my parents’ house. We started kissing and he started to feel me up. He slipped his hand underneath my shirt and starting playing with my swollen nipples. Gosh, that felt good. He lowered himself down and starting sucking on them. Then h
A Short Story
in play format. (Originally written 23 Feb 2006)
Interior - waiting room of surgery. A voice over the P.A announces for Mrs Allott to enter Dr. R Don’s room.
Mrs Allott: Hello Dr.
Dr. Don: Good morning, Mrs Allott, what can I do for you? how’s Mr Allott?
Mrs Allott: He’s fine. Dr, I’m here about my pussy.
Dr. Don: And what is the problem with it?
Mrs Allott: It keeps itching.
Dr. Don: Well, you better get it out and I’ll take a look at it.
Mrs Allott gets it out and Dr. Don proceeds to take a good look at it.
Dr. Don: You have a lovely pussy,