Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 75

Dracula's Forbidden Forest

Music that would be playing in the background is as follows: Marilyn Manson "Sweet Dreams", Korn "Freak on a leash", Three days Grace "a****l i have become" and NIN "Closer". This is the first annual haunted hay ride for adults only with only 2 wagonfulls of people per night so early reservations are strongly recommended! This is an erotic ride for the halloween season for very sexual people, such as myself, to dress up and participate in the roles you are given. During the heat of the moment some participants if they wish can swap partners and so on. You must sign a disclaimer form before... Continue»
Posted by jenny462 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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Cure for a bruised ego

"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.

"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.

"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."

We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."

"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"

"Just go!"

We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 478  |  
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The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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my horny dick needs...

Where can I start ladies I've been on ere for sum time now and each and every one one u are very hot lush and a lot ov yas are dirty minded and I love that use are love all the pics dirty the better for me I'll very mucky dirty naughty minded as ul ever meet or cum acress pure filth not in a weird way I love wankin over ever one ov yas pics video wow my gos I didn't think sum woman didn't av it in them wrong get in love it proper dirty horny wonman I love the tease woman wsat cock tease play cum and dick tease me like never have u befor with ne one else be my dirty cum sluts tel me wat use wud... Continue»
Posted by massivedickgirls 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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A Vivid Unreal Dream

The other night I had such a vivid dream, but it was so surreal. I have to tell you about it.
I was at an afternoon party at my s****r's house. The whole f****y was there. It was like a f****y reunion. My other b*****rs and s****rs, and almost all of their c***dren and grandc***dren were there also.
I must tell you that I am in my mid-forties, married, without any c***dren of my own. I am the youngest of my siblings by several years. Many of my nieces and nephews are my age or just a few years younger than me. As we were sitting and moving around, I was teasing and playing with my grand... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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rekhaaaaaa

I had just landed up my first job in Mumbai (immediately after college) and had moved into a one bedroom flat (apartment) in Andheri. It was a f****y friend’s flat and I was in the process of purchasing it from them (with financial help from my parents and Bank) as my parents had moved to native place to spend their old years. My flat was on the fifth floor and there were four flats per floor in our section. I am 5’11”, well built, exercises regularly (daily) and 25 years of age. The excitement of the job, new flat, living independently, were all too much for a young excited ... Continue»
Posted by deepuin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 477  |  
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Flower Institute - early history

Amsterdam was first in the world with many things. Good and bad.
The first financial bubble: speculation in the tulip market. Tulips aren´t even Dutch, they originate from Turkey. The first banks as well. Happy to finance, speculate and invest in American independance. As the Brits were our favourite enemies.

But also the first "Flower Institute" for transforming classy virgins into full blown women. But that´s a long story. Patient readers: welcome to next paragraphs.

We did the "Golden Revolution" for the Brits, but had to swallow swapping New York for Surinam after we lost the seco... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 477  |  
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Rising with the Dawn

I walked along Watauga Avenue, my bare feet chilled by the damp concrete. Tonya was in Virginia, visiting her mother and I had gotten bored sitting at home alone. It was a rainy, foggy Monday night and there was very little traffic, so I had decided to take a long walk, naked. The only time I’d had to be careful of being spotted was at Church Circle as I left Sullivan Street. For safety’s sake, I had walked around Charlemont Avenue so I could pass behind the churches and bright floodlights.
Passing Linville Street, I started really looking at the big houses that lined Watauga. Most of them we... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 476  |  
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The Reapers

The Reapers

Friday Afternoon:

They stood in the restaurant lobby.

“ For three?“, asked the hostess.

They were here to set a matter straight.

“This way, Table 1.”

An infidelity. They were here to fill an unfaithful wife with a heavenly gangbanging climactic end.

“Your server will be with you shortly!”, said the hostess as she scurried her tight ass away.

“Can we just fuck her?”
“No, although Id like to.”
“I think we should fuck every person in here”
“Shut the fuck up with that orgy talk!”
“At least the woman.”
“NO! Just her cheatin’ ass.”
The three looked as... Continue»
Posted by cyren16 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 476  |  
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In the glade

The sun was coming in through the room window next to where I sat, making my white shirt stick to the sweat on my torso. I eased open the top button of my shirt and checked that my tie was up hiding this uniform crime from Miss Willims. Daydreaming away the final minutes of double english I let her voice become a meaningless drone. " But low what light.." she read. RRRRRRRRRRRR - the bell went and the whole class raised slightly as i the bell instilled a new energy into us.
Packing my bag I wandered down the stairs and out into the cooling breeze blowing across from the sports fiel... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 475  |  
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Fucked Friend’s Sexy Virgin Girlfriend Shaif


She agreed and she had no idea that I was planning to have her milk in return of juice. She was wearing a red tight shirt and black jeans. Her boobs were so big that accidentally her button opened up exposing her white bra and mild cleavage. I told her that the juice is being prepared till then I could show her my home. That was a plan to take her to my bedroom. She agreed and her button was still open.

She came to my bedroom and then I told her to sit on my bed while I bring the juice. I got the juice and purposely I acted to fall and spill her glass of juice on her shirt and my glass o... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 474  |  
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Alarm cock

I'm not really sure where the dream ended and the reality began, but at some point, I do know that I woke up. It was 2 am and I was dreaming away, about unicorns or chipmunks or naugahyde, or what the fuck ever it is that people dream about that they can't remember the second they wake up, but tonight my dream took a turn. It started out as a light suggestion in the back of my mind of someone groping my breasts. Pretty quickly, that sensation turned and became more intense as I dreamed of someone tweaking and pulling at my nipples and I could feel my dreamself becoming aroused as the hands ... Continue»
Posted by 9carteam 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 474  |  
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Bonkabitch

Goodhead led Bonkabitch to the edge of the roof.
“I’m glad you fixed my shower earlier today Marko,” she said quietly. “I have something special for you. Something special for me.”
“Yes ma’am,” said Bonkabitch, sipping from a glass of champagne. Not the kind of stuff he normally drank. He was a beer and shots man himself. He felt a little dizzy. The champagne must have gone to his head. Must have been a little stronger than he thought.
“You look really pretty,” whispered Goodhead, taking the glass from Bonkabitch, kissing him on his lipstick painted lips. “You look really sexy, you ... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 22 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 477

Johnny And Mary, A True Story (Classic poetry)

I'm sure this is a true story...for somebody...

Johnny And Mary, A True Story...

Now Johnny knew Mary since they were little tykes,
Running in the field, riding their bikes,
Like other little k**s, they stayed out all day,
Doing their chores, later they'll play,

Johnny and Mary went to school,
Tried real hard, act real cool,
Johnny noticed Mary started to grow real fine,
Nice firm breasts, big behin',

Johnny thought he'd take him a chance,
He asked Mary to the high school dance,
Mary said fine, pick me up at eight,
Dress real sharp, now don't be late,

John... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 473  |  
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Samurai Time

(Reading "All-You-Can-Eat Buffet" and "Back For More" is helpful, but not required. Comments welcome.)

I woke to a mass of red hair in my face. I kissed the head it belonged to, and pulled the attached body closer. Something was amiss, however. It didn't feel like my wife's body. This one was a little bit thinner. Then it turned over, and all the previous night returned to me.

“Good morning,” Sally said.

“I'm not so sure. It was morning when we went to sl**p.” I looked at my phone on the nightstand. 12:01 p.m., as if to prove a point. I rolled onto my back, and pulled her head ont... Continue»
Posted by LickerLicense 2 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 472  |  
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Lapdance

Black characters; dont like it dont read my shit & keep it moving...

Tasha had her learners permit for 2 months now, and her parents couldnt keep her from behind the wheel for practice. Every chance she was in a car she begged to drive. 'Come on practice makes perfect...' she begged. After a while Tasha felt her skills were good enough, and whatever she couldnt do she'd pick up along the way. Tasha decided to take her dad's car for a ride. She picked up her girlfriends Traci & Loni for a ride around town.

Traci said to stop by her boyfriend's house for a min, so Tasha did. Traci went up... Continue»
Posted by SweetLipz 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 471  |  
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Eyebrows

One day there was a man who was driving down the highway when he got cut off by a careless driver,the man doing his best to avoild a accident couldn't stop.His car flipped over three times and bust into flames,when the firemen and rescue services got there they saw he he was burned very badly.After six months in the hospidtol he made a full recovery,but there was one problem his eyebrows were gone.They couldn't find no human hair to match his hair,so they used the hair from the hind leg of a dog.So the man lived the rest of his life very well untill he passes a fireplug,when he do... Continue»
Posted by bildwarrior 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 470  |  
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Explore Your Bedroom Fantasies

We've seen that bedroom fantasies and dirty talk in bed can be a huge turn on, and can also improve your sex life by miles in the introduction article.

But after seeing how dirty talking in bed can actually lead to mistrust if not kept in check, you may want to know if bedroom fantasies are a boon or a bane to couples in love.

Can bedroom fantasies and sexual fantasies go bad?

Firstly, even before we talk about when it can go bad, we have to realise that anything in moderation is great and can be a huge turn on.

But too much of any good thing usually leads to bad results.

So bed... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 470  |  
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Mums Best friend.(Made up but hopefully you like i

I look at her as if she were a godess, she has long black hair you no down to the top of here butt, deep blue eyes and a great pair of lips that say kiss me soft or kiss me hard I just wont to be kissed But its my mums best friend what was i gonna do?
One morning as I woke I heard laughter from downstairs I know one was my mum but was not sure of the other laughter so i got dressed and went down to see who else was there as i went into the livingroom there she was the women i always seem to think about when im alone in my bedroom ;-). I could not belive it i'm stud there looking all tired a... Continue»
Posted by youngandfree 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 469  |  
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Jamie


They hadn't been married long. Still in the newlywed stage of things. They had, however, settled into a happy routine. Joe's only wish for Jamie - that she be a little more demanding in the bedroom. Jamie was shy, almost timid, not sure of herself when it came to asking for what she wanted. While making love, Joe would try to bring Jamie out of her shell, get her move vocal and involved. Did she like to be touched here? What position felt best? Jamie would try but it was still difficult for her. Joe loved her and accepted that he would always be the more dominant in their relationship. Or n... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 469  |  
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