Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 75

Letters to Mario

This story is a bit of a fanfic, if you want to call it that, telling Princess Peach's misadventures while being in Bowser's grasp. It's told from her perspective through a series of letters wrote to Mario in which she discovers that maybe she isn't as pure as she was raised to think. I wrote that on an other website some time ago and it was pretty well received there, so here it is! It's still a work in progress.

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Dear Mario, I hope you'll get this letter. In my heart I know you are coming to free me from Bowser, but please come as quickly as you possibly can! As soon as he threw me ... Continue»
Posted by masterfg42 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Kenpachi Zaracki's Training

Nelliel was probably wishing she'd signed up to be tutored in the sword-arts by just about any other teacher in the world right now! This Kenpachi man... Something wasn't right about him... Well, maybe it should be more like there wasn't anything right about him! Worst of all was his height... Their teacher towered over the class at 202cm, making her one of the tallest men she'd ever seen, but he wasn't just tall, the man was looked strong, too!

Surely an instructor of students who still might as well be c***dren like them would be conducted with a taciturn and dignified approach, but all t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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I Treated the Slut Like Shit...

She's a minger and she knows it: forty with a wonky eye, overweight and with an abundance of moles on her arms with a large one on her stomach. Her personal hygiene leaves a little to be desired too but she has big tits and nipples though.

She absolutely adores me but the thing is I just don't give a damn about her: she is just a sexual object to me like the majority of my women. And I have had loads,fucking loads.

On the plus side, however, she is a tad kinky – I guess it’s the only thing the ugly bitch has going for her.

Anyway, it's Wednesday and my day off – I know s... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Poetry of the Genitals

Her

I cannot help it I love your dick,
Upon its head I like to lick.
I love the hardness of your shaft,
It’s no game but a well skilled craft.
I love to linger around its head,
And make you cum all over the bed.
And oh we can’t forget the balls,
Cause their my favorite part of all.
I’ll finish the task by jacking you off,
And swallow real well so you don’t make me cough.

I LOVE THE COCK!

Him

I love to eat your creamy pie,
About this fact I could not lie.
To take my time and eat you well,
To taste your love and feel you swell.
It is the greatest thought of all,
... Continue»
Posted by Testdriver 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The State Cop

Last year, around Christmas time, I was back on the East
Coast for Christmas break. I had borrowed my b*****r's new
Corvette, (b*****r is a newly licensed physician) and headed out
to a Christmas party in the Highlands. This was the first time I
had been separated from my SO in a year, so I guess I was feeling
a little unattached.
I got to the party and it was wonderful. I had a couple of
champagnes and danced away most of the night. At 1 am my ex-
boyfriend from high school came in with his newly acquired
fiance. I hadn't seen Danny in 3 years, and I was a little taken
aba... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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hiding at the football game

so it was the begining of my senior year
my ex and i were staying after school to walk around until the homecoming game started. so we were walking around the campus just trying to be alone together to sort through some troubles we were having, and of course when we FINALLY got comfortable enough to tlk everyone started to show up so we decide to sneak into the school through the auditorium window to get some quiet. so we were sitting in the back row of seats in the huge echoing auditorium tlking, when i put my arm over her shoulder and pull her closer to me so i can rest my head on hers. she... Continue»
Posted by c-mon96 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A Book to Remember

A Book to Remember
by Just4kinks


J4K’s heart raced as the elegant young man entered the library. She blushed as his penetrating eyes met hers, she remembered last night’s hot steamy sex and she was pleasantly surprised he came back for more. It has been such a long time since her life has been filled with passion. Heck, it was six months since her husband touched her and at 40, she was at the peak of her sexuality. She was ready to put on her sexy boots and rock and roll, not spend hours on end watching senseless television shows on the couch.

She tried her best to k... Continue»
Posted by just4kinks 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Sandals Honeymoon

A new wife goes black.

Chapter 1

We were on our honeymoon in Montego Bay .. I was doing lots of drinking with new friends the night before .. playing drinking games for points .. the wife was real horny when we got home at around 4am .. started me off by giving a hot fingering show .. she laid back on the four-poster bed in our ocean-front suite with only the white terry cloth robe that they give you for the vacation ...

She was teasing me as I got ready for bed .. I undressed as she was rubbing that juicy pussy .. telling me to watch her get herself off .. she laid back... Continue»
Posted by magas911 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  
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Pussy Types

1. Expensive Pussy
Most pussy falls into this definition. Expensive Pussy can be recognized by the following – fur coats, $500 dresses, spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek letters on them. 98% of good pussy falls into this category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great.
Disadvantages: Many, mostly in the form of checking account depletion. Often not worth it.
2. Cheap Pussy
Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend of yours who will not go away no matter what you do. Cheap Pussy can be recognized by the following – she will often pa... Continue»
Posted by sexy_boy1985 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Italian Job 16

The Italian Job 16
Italian weddings are very special things with lots of singing and dancing and eating and drinking, I know English weddings are meant to be the same but they do not seem to have the flair of the Mediterranean countries and especially a village wedding where everyone knows everyone including all their relatives both dead and alive, so when Sonia’s daughter decided to get married to one of the village lads the village started to make preparations in a big way, the bunting came out as well as the balloons and the flags and of course the preparations for a street party, mention ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Dating tips for guys

1. Wear the right kind of after-shave lotion or perfume. But remember, not too much, not too less!

2. Though you would like her to think of you as a toughie so she feels protected in your presence. This particular attitude puts off a lot of girls. Most of the times guys are so consumed with acting macho that makes girls think you are not sensitive enough! So, take it easy!

3. Most of the men don't think they have to pay attention to the way they dress. Well...you may not want to apply make-up though some guys do but that doesn't mean you land up on your date just like that! Remember to s... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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When I became a sex maniac a few years ago

When I became a sex maniac a few years ago, I immediately worried that the Caveman might not be able to handle me - satisfy me. I didn't see that it would take time for us to really learn how to have sex together (duh!). But over these weeks of having a lot of love making and writing stories about it, we've really come along way (couldn't resist the pun).


Every time we have sex it's a little different, a little saucier, a little sexier: sometimes because it's naughtier, sometimes because it's gentler, and always because it's starting to feel completely unscripted. By writing these sex sto... Continue»
Posted by alexandra17xx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 16

Dear Dirty Diary,

Thanksgiving weekend all the Huntingdon stores started pushing their winter fashions, so Louise and I went shopping. Even with all the closet space in our new apartment, I had to do some fall-cleaning to make room. I dumped out my pantyhose and tights drawer on the bed beside my relaxing husband.

Each pair I got rid of, Doug would pick up, carefully examine, then like an old fart would ask, “What’s wrong with these?”

I’d point out the runs in the expensive ones and the starchy feet and sags of the cheap ones. I hesitated for too long before tossing out one ... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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One Night in April: Part 2

It had always been a fantasy of mine to have sex in the shower. To have a hot chick caress my naked body while hot soapy water cascaded over us. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my Best Friends s****r would be that woman. It didn't even occur to me that she'd be staring up at me with her emerald eyes as she absolutely devoured my hard cock.

"Stop that tickles!" April giggled as I gently ran my fingers through her hair.

"I'm not doing anything." I said.
"It's your cock, it's poking my butt cheek."

I looked down at my lap and sure enough my erect dick was poking April's cheek... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Hot Sex

We had spicy egg fried rice for dinner last night, chef sat in the living room chopping the veg and chillies ready for the rice that was sat steaming on the hob. Fast forward ten minutes to me being accosted on the stairs on route for a quick pre dinner bath. Sex on the stairs is always a good thing, there's something wonderfully naughty about having sex in a none sex designated zone .He ripped my jeans off, slammed me down on my back and slid his cock straight up inside me. If we had left it there we would have been fine. However sexy genius here decided it would be fun to taste herself ... Continue»
Posted by duggie666 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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An English girl .......

was travelling in france when I booked into a hostel . The reception desk was right across from the lounge and I immediately noticed two girls checking me out . One was a very young American girl in her twenties the other an English woman in her thirties . Anyway , we got talking and that night they were planning to go out and celebrate the birthday of the English girl and they invited me . We went out with other guests from the hostel and had a good time . The English girl was not only pretty , but friendly and kind and I began to notice a cerain attitude she directed towards me . We smoked... Continue»
Posted by adam2010 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Fifty Shades of Stockholm Syndrome Chapter 1

Chapter 1 An introduction of sorts
Julian Beige was the toast of the art world, everything he did was a hit from his seminal work “My favourite wank blanket” to “Hey dude where’s the toilet paper”. His fortune kept on rising he was the most bankable artist on the planet. But, Julian had a problem he had no one to fill the hole in his life. Of course Julian liked to fill holes from his “lying naked with lots of naked girls” in which he had to spend eight hours having to endure naked girls covered in baby oil from the ages of 18 to 23 rubbing themselves against him. He did mull about “lying na... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Consummation With A Massage Included

So, after the first time with Riya, we were both hot and horny for each other and we used to just have sex whenever we get a chance. So finally choice of college and we both chose the same college and course and mainly out of our hometown so we could be free and enjoy life. The college was in Chennai, and was very cool to be out of home and roaming around the new city took up most of the time, but we also spent time with each other.

She took an apartment for her to stay and we used it mainly to be intimate and just hangout. Since the metro and buses used to be so crowded in evenings, we
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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New U Salon

New U SalonThe Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive
Titles · Authors · Categories · Readers' Picks · FAQ · What's New · Message
Board · Make a Donation
Author: Zon19
Story: New U SalonNew U Salon
By Zon19
(mc, md, gr)
The following is a storyline that was started on the BE Archive's Adventure,
"Unending BE." Feel free to visit the archive or its extendable addventure at
http://www.bearchive.com. This particular story was written by myself and L.E.
through the extendable addventure. I have compiled and elaborated on the initial
plot and present it to you, the reader, as a stand-alo... Continue»
Posted by SharonwithTitsout 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Mailman'sLast Day

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole f****y there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a $25 gift certificate to a fine restaurant.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a box of chocolates.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand and led him... Continue»
Posted by AnlosBiWifey 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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