Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 75

Last Night

So last night me and my wife where in our living room watching movies, and she started to fall asl**p. So I said hey I know your not sl**ping, because everytime I spend a lot of time ppicking out these movies and everytime you fall asl**p. she said I'm sorry baby I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open can you help me stay awake. I looked at her like ???? what? She said maybe be if you put that big daddy dick in my fat wet pussy I might be able to stay awake.
I said I think I can keep you up. So she slowly untied my shorts and pulled my dick out and put it against her face lik... Continue»
Posted by leneddy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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Images of an Affair

At some point in every marriage one or the other gets a thought that screams
through the brain like the Harley you were stuck next to at the light the other
day on the way home from work.... you know the one, like there is something
differnt about the way your wife has been carrying herself or the way her pussy
feels or smells, just a tiny bit differnt then the way it normaly does, you know....like the times in the past when you used a condom for the lamest reasons
only a new couple can come up with??? now days you dont give a shit because
wearing a piece of laytex or anything for that... Continue»
Posted by mrdettail96 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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I dare you not to get wet ;)

Whether we'd be hanging out, on a date, or suddenly overcame by raging hormones or just having a good fuck, this is how i would proceed. Id like to think you are uncontrollably horny right now, and if your not i suggest you comeback later when you can play ;)

I would unzip my pants and pull the heavy denim down slowly so you could gaze upon my protruding long bulge. I would teasingly grasp the bottom of your dress and pull it up by your heaving breast, right below your now so aroused tender nipples. I would proceed to spot the damp section of your tight cotton panties. As my cock throbs wit... Continue»
Posted by longdocdong 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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my girls asshole !!!

i am with my girlfriend six months and she is bi. she has a great body and firm breasts!! one thing that i did not like was her asshole.. it was hairy and i said to her that i did not like it and she said it was to awkward to shae that area and she asked me would i do it!!!! i asked her would she get her female friend to do it and let me watch!!!she was hesitant at first but then she quite liked the idea!! a weekend came and her bisexual girlfriend came over ... i popped the bottles of wine andone woed led to another and before i knew it her girlfriend said she would shave it for her!(the wine... Continue»
Posted by drakesin 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 548  |  
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Top 10 flirting tips

10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!

9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again!

8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.



7. Use props. Never leave home without a pr... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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Flaunting It At the Frat Party

Flaunting It At the Frat Party


The name is Tolden. James Tolden. There are three things you need to know about me.....
One:
I am tall. My towering height of 6’9” made me a natural for basketball, and my talent made me a star.
Two:
I am hung like a Bull Elephant. The same early growth spurts which gave me height, also added copious inches to my manhood, which was well-sized to begin with.
Three:
I am not above humiliating a lesser man. I’ve done it lots of times. This was the first.
I had been invited to my first Frat party my freshman year of ... Continue»
Posted by jkd1111 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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Like Cub, Like A Gentleman

Like Cub, Like A Gentleman
[user]Maggie, REDnMIST[/user]
02-16-2013

I never was what one might refer to as a ”loose woman.” My M.O. was after about two to three years of being alone and sexless, I would opt for a lover if a boyfriend hadn’t come into the picture yet. That seemed to be my limit for going without sex. What determines my limit? It is when I become so super-horny that a good session of masturbation and toys do not provide relief.

God bless the Greeks who invented the dildo to cure hysteria in women. God bless the one who added power to it! Usually a clit stimulator ... Continue»
Posted by REDnMIST 1 year ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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The naughty neighbor affair.... story i wrote ...

The Naughty neighbor affair...

The apartment was all quiet ,I was home all alone for the day.. I was wandering what
I could do to keep my self entertained? Hmmm I thought "Booty call" I decided
to text my neighbor since he was off work and see if he was tied up with the wife
or see if he had some free time for some fun... fingers crossed.. he was was free
and he could stop by ... my body began to tingle with anticipating his reply ,
than my phone buzzed and he said yeah he was free he stop by after lunch
which certainly put a smile on my face, so I went up and ... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 546  |  
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Theatrical....15

Theatrical…….15
when I got home I dragged her to one side and told her of the plan, she went into a tizzy, “but I’ve nothing to wear” she protested, “ok, I’ll cancel your ticket, there will just be the two of us” I said, she jumped, “no, I didn’t mean that” she said, I showed her what I had got for her and she nodded appreciatively,
I had decided to wear the white lace bra that I wore for the wedding, I felt really good in that and it showed off my assets a treat, it also allowed me to wear a low v necked blouse that showed off my inner curves of my breasts, I dropped the bombshell at din... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 545  |  
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Slutty Sarah, the sex-tape and 2 Sanish guys

So, Chris, Sarah’s new boyfriend, did you ask her about that sex-tape that I made with her. No? Or just wouldn’t she discuss it with you. I know that you hate all these stories about her, but it’s only fair to let the world know what a slutty exhibitionist, isn’t it. I’ve sent you links to all the stories of her on here and I’ve heard you are pretty angry about that. Well, too bad.

So, Sarah, on our last holiday, had talked about making a sex-tape. She didn’t mention anything about it for months, not until our next holiday. She was always more sexy and responsive to things when she was rel... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 547  |  
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New Years Eve

A Owen and Eve short story

Story tags: M/F, Adultery, consensual,

10 am, December 31st

Eve finishes packing an overnight bag with everything that she needs for the night. Including a surprise for Owen. She had picked up a silky blue coloured teddy with matching thong, along with other fun stuff.

11 am, December 31st

Owen has finished packing an overnight bag for himself, then packs a bag with food, booze and pot, and heads out the door to where he will be house sitting for new years while his wife holds a girls night and told him to find somewhere else to be for the night.

... Continue»
Posted by drizzcat 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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BigBimbo's Memoire #1: First Blowjob

A young man's (In retrospect, I was more boy than man) first sexual experience with a woman is a powerful, powerful thing. It completely changes your self-perception, it answers so many of the questions from your post-sexualization youth and changes you from an innocent hopeful into hunter that will never stop his pursuit. Here is a recount of my coming of age tale:

My first real girlfriend and I met because she was one of the trainers for the football team. Her daddy was extremely wealthy, her mother was bipolar and on lots of meds and, as a result, she was very screwed up. I was obliviou... Continue»
Posted by bigbimbo 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 544  |  
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Little Tim EPISODE #1

My name is Tim.
I'm white, 18 about 6' tall brown hair with light stubble. I'm a freshman at Flowood university  in California. It's my first time out of my home state of Arkansas. So far all I can say is that the people here are beautiful. I, on the other Hand, am not as good looking. Not to say that am ugly I'm just very average. I'm staying in a coed dorm on the north side of the school.I can't help but notice that my dorm is girl heavy. Heh I think this is going to be a great year. Room 218. I walk in to find a shirtless guy unpacking. He turns around and says "Oh hey I'm Jones Bakerson."... Continue»
Posted by LittleAus 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 544  |  
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The Bully Part 2

The idea of Soul Mates started with Greek Philosopher Plato. He proposed that long ago Humans were giants with two heads, four arms and four legs. But Zeus King of the Gods feared their power and split everyone apart. It is that drive to complete ourselves that fuels the search for the Soul Mate.

I was never one to believe in such nonsense, then I met Erin. There was just something about her that resonated with me. Where most people could see her tough angry shell I saw the scared and vulnerable girl within.

And so it was that a Month later I announced my epic plan.

"I'm gonna make... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 543  |  
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maid in banglore

i am rahul from Bangalore age 20.this story is about me and my maid.her name is rani.age 18 stats 32d-30-34 height 5ft. Coming to story. this incident happened 2 years ago.my mom and dad hired a maid from village.to take care of household work.as my parents work in gulf and come once in a year. Coming to story i was in 11th when this incident happened my parents had provided me a computer.i used to watch lot of porn and masturbate in my room.once my maid came in to my room without knocking the door i was moaning and masturbating. She did not know what was going on as she knew nothing about sex... Continue»
Posted by vijayhot18 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 543  |  
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The Patient

Dana fidgeted nervously on the couch while Dr. Wallace studied the patient history form that she had filled out an hour earlier. "I see that you've been married for about three years now, is that right?" the doctor asked casually. "Uh, yes," she replied. "It was three years last month. And everything was pretty much all right between you and your husband until you had the baby?" "Yes, we had a wonderful marriage," she answered softly. "But now............." "What do you think went wrong?" the doctor asked. "Is there anything specific or just a general malaise in you relationship?" "... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 542  |  
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the connection

i have been exposed to sex for the better part of sixteen years...from the first time i ever had an erection i knew i enjoyed it, the sneaking around, having to hide this enjoyment, in essence i discovered in hiding this enjoyment i essentially made it my own...something that i could have to myself (like thinking to yourself, but physically) for years i kept this ritual to myself and thought i could maintain this escape for a long time

but the night i lost my virginity i lost that to which i could keep...

that night was...unique a story all to its own

but regardless the outcome was gr... Continue»
Posted by gsriw 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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STILL FUCKED OVER ONCE AGAIN AND THEN SOME

You know you have faith in someone to only find out how really sick they are.....who in their right mind would find pregnant women appealing? Especially when you have a slim good looking thing at home? Who in their right mind would go to a motel for what i call a pornathon? Damm your hand really needs to be sore maybe that is why u have more muscles on the right than the left. And interested in chicks with dicks? Just wrong......I love sex and think it is the most erotic thing.....not with this dirbag though...hummm nice anything man but this one..........gosh he would be tired lol.......... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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Private Party

A couple sneak upstairs during a party.

“Hi James,” you say cheerily when you find me sitting alone on the middle landing of the stairs.

“Hi Megan,” I answer from where I sit leaning against the wall. “Get too noisy for you in there as well?”

“Yeah,” you reply, glancing back downstairs to where the noise of the party echoes from. “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

I start to move aside, to make room for you to sit beside me, but you say “It’s okay, I’ll just sit in here,” and lower yourself to sit between my legs with your back leaning against my chest.

I put my arms around ... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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Theatrical....26

Theatrical……. 26

I woke the next morning about 8.30, I blinked, Del was still asl**p in front of me and I glanced over her, the bed was empty, had he gone back to her, was he satisfying her lust again, I slipped out of bed and put on my gown, then I went into the lounge, Gerald was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him and some empty cups laid on it, the bedroom doors were all open and no sign of anyone, “where are they all?” I asked, “they’ve gone he said looking up at me,
I sat down opposite to him watching him, “gone where?” I persisted, “Samuel has taken them to the ai... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 541