Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 74
This and the following part two are extracts from my novel "Sarah's Garden." They aren't really explicit erotica but rather an amusing account of two newly out lesbian girls let loose by their girlfriends for a day's shopping in town and a spot of girl watching with some rather startling results. Just a bit of fun really for your amusement.
“Well all I can say is that it’s going to be an interesting encounter with your mum tomorrow Nicky!” declared Sarah feelingly as she steered her BMW along the west bound autobahn a little outside Zur... Continue»
"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.
It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Dwayne gave a strangled moan of pain as he burst through the front door of his house, one hand clutched to his crotch and an expression of absolute agony painted over his face. With shaky steps he hurried up the single flight of stairs and rushed into his bedroom. He almost fell onto his bed and hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down to his knees. His boxers soon followed and he looked desperately at his genitals, the source of his pain.
His cock was fully erect and an angry red color. But what was most alarming was his testicles. Dwayne's balls looked huge and swollen, approxim... Continue»
This is Ian, and I have an interesting experience to share:
I was inside the Rio Casino in Vegas two days ago at around 1 am, wearing one of my numerous kilts as usual. Now.....
A group of 6 or 7 drop-dead gorgeous Asian girls were walking toward me, noticed my kilt, started exclaiming (something or other), and when they got to me, started taking turns lifting my kilt! Well, I let them do this for a few minutes, then it hit me: There's cameras in these casinos! So regrettably, I shooed them away. Well, a couple guys were watching the whole scene, and afterward, they came up to ... Continue»
Now for your listening pleasure i made up a song for you all...a NEW SONG FOR U SING ALONG NOW EVERYBODY....IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ...IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ....IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT THEN YOUR FACE WILL SURELY SHOW IT...IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS..CLAP CLAP THANK YOU, THANK YOU... HAHAHA... LOL... FUNNY SH-T FOR SURE... CAN YOU SEE THAT BEING PLAYED WITH THE HOKIE POKIE AT THE SKATING RING HAHAHAHA HOW WAS THAT BOYS AND GIRLS HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!! Full service provider no greek IN THE GRECIAN LANGUAGE OF REDBOOK THAT M... Continue»
That party was sick b*o. Glad you came out. Sucks you had to keep the fire going last night, but its pledge ship you’ll get used to it. Anyways while everyone was hanging out by the fire I asked your girlfriend Erin to give me a ride to the store so I could get a pack of cigarettes. She was looking so fucking sexy. Those slutty heels and that short black dress. Dude you’re lucky. Anyways I asked her how ya’ll were doing when she took me to the store.
She complained about how you were always doing stuff at the fraternity house for pledge ship. She says she never gets to spend any tim... Continue»
Suzie Yong, 25, an erotic dancer in a night club, had encounters with men more than enough. She maybe experienced a lot of rude and humiliating behaviour, so she pulls herself back into her snail house for her fantasies: She wants to stay in control, and she doesn't want to be screwed - her Asian peach flower is is not for grabs and not for sale:
I'm always horny and I never wear a slip. I enjoy the unrestricted freedom of movement and the fresh air fanning my peach. Especially on Saturday nights I dress very lightly to entice my prey. I stand at the back window of the crowded bus from th... Continue»
He always calls right about now. Nighttime's darkest moment, when only the desperate are awake. Naked under the covers my body aches from use but hums with anticipation. Twenty-one years old, it’s never felt so alive.
Like I knew it would, the phone rings, it’s him. He’s looking for a fix, a little naughtiness before sl**p. A thousand miles away, he breathes into my ear, the opening moments of a familiar ritual with a different twist every time.
We met over the summer. Right after I broken up with my college boyfriend. I was inexperienced; he was not. Battered but handsome, he took my fres... Continue»
Seriously, who hasn’t met a friend who’s sexy and all that?
And how many of us haven’t wondered how to have sex with a friend?
It feels so good to be bad. It feels even better to cross that boundary and play dirty, doesn’t it?
Life in the fast lane couldn’t get any faster in these days of fast love and raging hormones. It’s hard to get over the blues of being single especially when everyone around is either madly in love, or physically in love.
If lovers can do it, why not friends? After all, friends do share everything lovers share, other than physical intimacy.
Sex with a frie... Continue»
We met at a bar, I’d been drinking a bit more than I should’ve, I was ready for some action, I hadn’t seen my lover in a week and was I was ready for a fight. Never got one. –all I got was a good beating. He was sober and he took me to his place. He wants me to obey, he wants me to call him master, and honestly; I want that too. In most of my fantasies and daydreams I long to please and obey. But in real life, as it turns out, I have a really hard time doing just that.
He commands me to call him master. I don’t. He commands me to undress. I don’t. I don’t even know why, cause I rea... Continue»
Friday morning had arrived and I was once again hyper, running around trying to control my sex drive at the thoughts of having him between my legs that night, I was trying to get ready as well making sure that everything was perfect, my attention to detail was meticulous making sure that when he stripped me he would discover all kinds of goodies and fences to cross to tease him, not too much but just enough to get him inside me, “as though he needed any encouragement” I mused,
I had already established that he was a very unselfish lover, his sole aim in life seemed to be to... Continue»
ok, this is the hotty half of fall guys couple, so this story is from my point of view. its just a fantasy so far.
darkness. the soft caress of silk on bare skin. the subtle sent of bergamont in the air. i lay tied to the bed, soft silk scarves pinning my arms and legs wide apart. another scarf covers my eyes, darkening the room to nothing even though i know candles burn. an intricately tied series of more silk scarves harness my body, tightly holding me like a lover. the knots are placed just so, and just tight enough that they tease and torment my erogenous zones, but offer no relief.... Continue»
Hello everyone again. Diary time again. This goes back to when we were just married and is from one of her last diaries, its one of the few stories that I was in! M came off the pill 15 years ago and since then, apart from a couple of deliberate occasions, I can’t cum inside her so we find alternative ways of bringing each other off. We both enjoy playing so the tenderness of being close together telling sexy stories ticks so many boxes. A number of yeas ago we had gone north to see my parents and were driving back home to London down the motorway. We had set off early in the morning to get b... Continue»
My previous and first story was left off with my gf and I getting it on behind a movie theater. So I'll still keep some stories of this same girl again. My Girlfriend (Lisa) at the time was still trying to hold on to her virginity because of her religious background but she still wanted to have anal sex..just this time not in the dead of winter like the first time...so after her and I had our first anal experience behind the movie theater, our school week was dedicated to teasing each other while at school. We would grab each other going to classes as a game. Example of it was id be walking to... Continue»
The Audition Part 3
Davey The Bear.
As both video and photo cams moved in for a close up I put my face close to Dennis' big boner. I picked it up and said "Watch
We were now ready for my hot blow job scene which is exactly what I gave them.
All Dennis had to do was sit there and groan with pleasure.
Show time at last!
The camera was rolling and my screen test had begun.
I pulled up my skirt and drove my big lady stick deep into Dennis' hairy as... Continue»
This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.
It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
I made a sponge cake the other day. Unfortunately we ran out of icing sugar so it was a bit plain. We sat down to eat it when I said to my boyfriend "It's a bit dry without icing"
"I could help with that if you like" he replied with a cheeky wink.
"Go on then" I said. He looked a bit shocked. I was serious.
"You really want me to? It might taste a bit funny" He said with a smile on his face.
"Come here and unload over my slice. I want you to ice it for me. Do it." A stern look on my face.
Immediately he got up and came over unzipping his jeans and pulled out his cock. I wat... Continue»
Well to start I'm Tony my wife and I have a good thing going see she loves to find women around 28-45 that are married have k**s and never had sex with another women and not only bed them but do it in a way that she has perfected over the years in which she controls them. Kerri is one of her ladys about three years back Kerri went to a dress store and while trying on a dress my wife Kat steped into the dressingroom and after some talking, rubing, and a little f***eing had Kerri two fingers deep and panting hard Kat bought her the dress took her to her own home and licked, sucked fingered, an... Continue»
I met this girl at the store about two weeks ago. We talked on the phone for awhile before she invited me to her house which was about an hour away. The next morning she picked me up and we went there. The girl didnt waste no time getting down to business. We fucked in the bed on the floor and in the shower.NOW this happend every day but one day i noticed these shoes and wondard to myself whose were they but i diddnt say anything. The next time i went routine as usual,we made it the shower and as im pounding her ass from behind someone walked in the bathroom guess what it was her boyfriend. He... Continue»
As we step through the door, all heads turn towards us. Entering the restaurant, we are able to see down the Austrian Alps peak to a large lake. The view from the cable car ride was spectacular but the one from the summit is unrivaled as it is a panoramic view of the region. The headwaiter greets us and with a smile asks if we have a reservation. I reply with my last name. He locates it on his guest list and leads us to our table.
My tailored silk suit is dark gray with trousers breaking atop well-shined black leather shoes. A silk Jerry Garcia tie compliments the colors of the suit. I a... Continue»