Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 74

Tube Rendezvous

I check my watch: 10.31 perfect, I step onto the 3rd carriage of the tube at Oxford Circus, Central Line heading west. I check my mobile again, the text reads "10.31 Central line, 3rd carriage, OC, no undies ;) Bunty x"

I make my way to the corner of the packed tube, looking for the blonde haired woman, but no sign. At the next stop a sudden rush of people exiting and a new hoard entering. Suddenly I notice a shot of blonde hair moving towards me. The woman is close and has her back to me, she is dressed in a black jumper, black skirt, black stockings and a red jacket. I have a Gant shirt, ... Continue»
Posted by tallguy222 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 485  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 5 -

Dorothy felt the sun cascading over her face, as she began to wake up. Slowly pulling her eyelids up, Dorothy saw Leandra sitting in front of her staring at her.

"We have to talk Dorothy".

Dorothy rubbed her eyes and sat up. "How long have I been asl**p".

"I would say we been asl**p for about seven hours. Its morning and we fell asl**p close to night. I first want to say thank you. Thanks for staying behind, I really do owe you."

Dorothy smiled,"I'm glad to do it, for a new friend".

Leandra packed up there things in her bag. "This journey I am on, you should know what Im going a... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 485  |  
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Fun Fantasy Game *Enjoy* Be Creative

If you could be the hottest shemale that ever walked the earth for one day what would you do ? Im talking

*5'7
*Beautiful Face, somewhat of Megan Fox or Lacey Chabert
*Pretty green eyes
*Nice lips
*Nice smile & white baby teeth
*140 lbs
*Very feminine voice
*Small girly hands & feet
*Long Hair (Brunette)
*About one shade darker than Pale skin
*Nice tight butt
*Boobs with no visible surgery scars
*And a small penis, just small enough for you to wear bikinis on the beach

Of course I want to hear your story's so i will make mine short,(Get all their email addresses)I would b... Continue»
Posted by guess1tw3ll 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 483  |  
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Finger Fuck Date

I decided to post a story for the first time and naturally i'll start with one of my best stories! It was during my period at the university - in 2004! I didn't went home to visit my parents in the weekend and the city was laim those days! At night i was home with my friends and when i was out of liquor i went to a near b y café! I went there on a regular basis and knew everyone there! When i got there that night there were only the local d***k guys in their 50's at the bar, but there was a chubby student with great awesome tits pretty face and lips that could slurp a big black cock easily! I... Continue»
Posted by suspect9 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 481  |  
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Dirty Jokes ReEdit

Introduction: Forgot some info here the better one hope you like it

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks th... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 481  |  
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Theatrical....... 24

Theatrical…..24

I woke the next morning and went into the shower, Gerald had risen early and gone out, I came out of the shower and put on my bath robe, I was planning in my mind how to tackle his instruction, I went into the lounge and Del was sitting on the couch with papers spread out on the coffee table, she looked up at me, “hi!, how are you, did you sl**p ok?” she asked cheerfully, “yes, like a log, I was ready for my bed last night” I said, “yes, me too, he can be quite exhausting” she said, I sat down beside her, “Del, I hope you won’t take offence but you make it sound like he fuck... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 481

Theatrical

Theatrical
By: The Priest

I was about to start the engine when my mobile phone rang, it was Mary, she was unable to make the theatre date because one of her c***dren had gone down with some kind of virus so I decided to make the girlie night into a one woman night rather than give up seeing the one woman show at the theatre especially after I had been so looking forward to it, I had the tickets which were not cheap, I knew the seats were in a perfect spot and the artiste was a fantastic American woman who I had always admired for her talent and the life she had lived to the full, so why n... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 480  |  
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Have you ever?

Have you ever had sex with someone you didn't know? Have you ever had sex with someone you couldn't see? Have you ever had sex with more than one person? Have you ever let someone watch you have sex? Have you ever watched someone who didn't know? Have you ever told a secret to a stranger? Have you ever had phone sex with someone you met online? Have you ever had sex in public? Have you ever had sex through a glory hole? Have you ever masturbated outside? Have you ever not washed between lovers? Have you ever had sex with someone who just had sex? Have you ever shared home movies of... Continue»
Posted by BuckyGoldstein 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 480  |  
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rekhaaaaaa

I had just landed up my first job in Mumbai (immediately after college) and had moved into a one bedroom flat (apartment) in Andheri. It was a f****y friend’s flat and I was in the process of purchasing it from them (with financial help from my parents and Bank) as my parents had moved to native place to spend their old years. My flat was on the fifth floor and there were four flats per floor in our section. I am 5’11”, well built, exercises regularly (daily) and 25 years of age. The excitement of the job, new flat, living independently, were all too much for a young excited ... Continue»
Posted by deepuin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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joke!

litlle girl and his father in the park!
girl; look dady the dog's fucking!
dady; do'not see there,i'ts not for you!!
girl; i' know,buth make me so hard............. Continue»
Posted by kurvika 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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Morning Wood

Stretching with a groan, my hands reach for the warm body I can feel under the covers beside me. The early morning light pours in from the window just above the bed, and as my hands run over your chest -tangling in the thick hair that covers it- I can feel you reaching up to close the blinds. A smile erupts on my suddenly warm face, there can only be one reason for closing the blinds at this time of the morning. I reach above us to the windowsill to grab my glasses, making sure to lean as far over you as possible, my breasts raking over your chest causing my sensitive nipples to harden suddenl... Continue»
Posted by experiencedvirgin 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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strap on fun and more

He was very handsome and very curious to certain sexual acts. He had been longing for a woman to take him anally, he spent most of his masturbating thinking of his dream woman all in black leather, thigh high boots, and she place’s his collar around his neck leading him into her private room with all of her toys for pleasure with the attached leash. She smiled at him seeing he was nervous being with her, his eyes widened when she picked up her flogger and began strapping her hand.

“I think you have been a very naughty boy.” She told him in an almost eerie whisper.

“Yes Mistress, I have ... Continue»
Posted by JOHNFINASMITH 5 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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Taking it up the ass, putting it up an ass

It started off as a stupid joke, one of those things sororities want entering freshmen to do during rush week. All the older s****rs in the house I was most interested in voted that all the new freshman pledges would have to try anal sex before the end of the semester. If we wanted to join up, we'd have to take it up -- up the ass, that is.

I was pretty eager to get in, so I played along, but already I was trying to figure a way of faking it. I'm no prude, but I wasn't going to let some stupid frat boy stick it in me -- much less in my back door! -- just to get some stupid signed certificat... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 5 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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The Wild Ride In The Air

The metal table was cold against my skin. My hands and feet were tied up and I was wearing a blindfold. All around me I heard voices, and the sound of people unfurling something they held in their hands.

That's when the whipping started.
******************************************************************
Flying Sucks!

I don't mean suck in a good way either. Flying sucks one hundred year old man asshole skank. The only thing I hated more than flying was living in the Southwestern USA.

"It's a dry heat," everyone says.

"Bull fucking shit!"

... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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The Third Date

She came to my apartment wearing high heels, a camisole top, and a tight black mini-skirt. Looking at her skin-tight skirt, I could tell she wasn't wearing any panties. I welcomed her into my place, took her jacket, and gave her a hug. While embracing one another, she whispered in my ear that she's been waiting all week to see me, and that she was so horny. I told that I had made reservations at this quaint little Italian restaurant. She replied, "fuck the reservations, I brought dessert," and carefully started unbuttoning her blouse. I was speechless. I didn’t know how to react. After all, w... Continue»
Posted by DoggyDeeply 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 478  |  
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Dracula's Forbidden Forest

Music that would be playing in the background is as follows: Marilyn Manson "Sweet Dreams", Korn "Freak on a leash", Three days Grace "a****l i have become" and NIN "Closer". This is the first annual haunted hay ride for adults only with only 2 wagonfulls of people per night so early reservations are strongly recommended! This is an erotic ride for the halloween season for very sexual people, such as myself, to dress up and participate in the roles you are given. During the heat of the moment some participants if they wish can swap partners and so on. You must sign a disclaimer form before... Continue»
Posted by jenny462 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 481  |  
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Cure for a bruised ego

"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.

"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.

"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."

We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."

"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"

"Just go!"

We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 478  |  
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The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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my horny dick needs...

Where can I start ladies I've been on ere for sum time now and each and every one one u are very hot lush and a lot ov yas are dirty minded and I love that use are love all the pics dirty the better for me I'll very mucky dirty naughty minded as ul ever meet or cum acress pure filth not in a weird way I love wankin over ever one ov yas pics video wow my gos I didn't think sum woman didn't av it in them wrong get in love it proper dirty horny wonman I love the tease woman wsat cock tease play cum and dick tease me like never have u befor with ne one else be my dirty cum sluts tel me wat use wud... Continue»
Posted by massivedickgirls 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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A Vivid Unreal Dream

The other night I had such a vivid dream, but it was so surreal. I have to tell you about it.
I was at an afternoon party at my s****r's house. The whole f****y was there. It was like a f****y reunion. My other b*****rs and s****rs, and almost all of their c***dren and grandc***dren were there also.
I must tell you that I am in my mid-forties, married, without any c***dren of my own. I am the youngest of my siblings by several years. Many of my nieces and nephews are my age or just a few years younger than me. As we were sitting and moving around, I was teasing and playing with my grand... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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