Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 74

YOU HAVE TO BE ADAPTABLE ..

Many years ago when I was about five or six years of age I experimented anally in the bath with a bit of soap; it felt good apart from the soap stinging a little bit.

When I was about ten years of age I got fucked for the first time by a friend of the same age. I don't know where he got the idea from but it felt very nice although there were minor complications.

In my teens a male friend and I used to have wanking races in his bedroom. We used to suck each other but not to orgasm so I never knowingly swallowed his cum.

Around about that time I lost my anal virginity in total to a Ga... Continue»
Posted by AussieJonno 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy Studying Sessions!

Honor looked at me from across the bed and caught my eyes staring at her fiery red hair.

"Are you ok Tommy," She asked, "I really need you to help me with these Maths problems and then we can concentrate on Physics"

We were both 16 and in Year 11 at our school. We had been good friends for ages and as our exams were fast approaching she had asked me to help her with her Maths, and in return i asked her to help me with my Physics. I had fancied her like mad for years but had never had the courage to ask her out.

"Yeah, i'm fine, just distracted a little." I replied, never taking my eye... Continue»
Posted by tomtheaussie 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Han Valen Production office stow aways

Another show, another rigging call. The glamorous life of a big rock show usually begins at 6 AM in the morning putting the rigging in place that holds those massive sound and lighting systems in the air.

This day was starting out like any other. I got to the Arena around 5:15 AM so I could let in the caterers and stagehands. I got the guard to open to door and he went back on his cart to his office. I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the production office. When I got there I opened the door and there was a young girl sitting the desk. She kind of startled me. I asked if I could h... Continue»
Posted by kdrummer 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Teens 2

Story 2

Crazy hippie junky love, that was all about the relationship between Marry and Alex. They would take every toilet in every bar, every party we went, and every scene with them ended up with them fucking like crazy. Unfortunately she was really a junky in those days so, of course she was slowly changing him too.
One day I was in the kitchen, drinking some beer, when they came to me laughing. Marry sat down, took some beer and light a cigarette. She was dressed in one of those colorful dresses, and a leather jacket that I guess it was her guys’. She looked damn hot. “You know what ... Continue»
Posted by HerbaAlice 6 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A visit to the vets

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they started a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and
asked " So why are you here today? "

The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a serial pisser. I piss on everything, I piss on the couch, the carpet, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But last night was the final straw when I pissed on my owner's."

The black Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? "

"Well, he's going to cut my balls off," answered the yellow Labrador. "Supposedly it'll calm me down and stop me pissing everywhere."

The Yellow Lab t... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Quality Not Quan-titty

(A short poem written in praise of my lovers' boobies, all of them regardless of size - and I include my own rather large ones in that category because nobody loves mine more than I do, with the possible exception of my lovely husband! Don't be fooled by the fact that it appears to be written from the male perspective - disregard gender as well as size. It's all about the love of boobies in general, but through my eyes and my lusts!)




My lover's tits are so tiny,

It's so plain for all to see,

Though my lover's tits are so tiny,

She sure loves them - just like me!

... Continue»
Posted by optanda 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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MY SEXY WIFE LIKES OLDER MEN

MY SEXY WIFE LIKES OLDER MEN

When I married my wife Sally I knew she had a thing for older men so it was no surprise to me when we were invited to my boss’s retirement party at the home of the director of the company home,

You see Sally who is 34 is a real sexy woman and always dresses sexy she has a great body and a nice pair of legs with a great rear and a rather large bust which is very firm I can confirm that she gives a great tit fuck so it’s no wonder she attracts so much male attention when ever she goes out,

But she seems to love the company of older men she always liked the x... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Gamer

I laid across the bed on my stomach holding myself up by my elbows wearing just a T-shirt and my boxers looking up at the computer screen with the controller in my hands as my Guild and I marched boldly into the Forsaken Fortress to finally take down the Necromancer King. “This is it you guys” I said over the team channel knowing that this was going to be a long and tough fight, “I need a Defense boost” Shadow_Heart said over the comm. It didn’t take long for Elfkiller1 to start boosting everyone’s STATS, “first one to die has to put 500 gold into the guild bank” The-Bone-Eater said with a gig... Continue»
Posted by Rust1 12 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Asian Cum Slut

The night I met Mei in a London club, she was dressed the way you see in
Japanese anime. I told her, and she got all offended since she was Chinese,
and anyway she could not understand what I meant, or so she claimed.

She had on high heeled boots, knee high socks the kind you'll see matched
with schoolgirl uniforms, a chequered plaid skirt that barely covered her
ass, and a white shirt that could barely contain her immense 38E bust.
She looked obscene - breasts that size on a chink, especially one not more
than 5'1 or 5'2 that couldn't be a day over 18 just accentuated the
anime-girl... Continue»
Posted by pornofiend 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Make Yourself Cum

Let me start by saying I have an over active sex drive. I could be doing anything, and suddenly I become unexpectedly aroused. Sometimes even the littlest things can set me off anything from putting clothes in the washer to an erotic glance from an interesting stranger. The smell of fresh cut grass, and the feel of it on my bare feet can bring back a flow of memories of previous outdoor sexual experiences.

Anyway when the urge hits me unexpectedly, I choose to masturbate and after the last time I decided to share my personal experience with everyone..


I ran to my bedroom and sla... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A Short Story

A Short Story
in play format. (Originally written 23 Feb 2006)




Interior - waiting room of surgery. A voice over the P.A announces for Mrs Allott to enter Dr. R Don’s room.

Mrs Allott: Hello Dr.

Dr. Don: Good morning, Mrs Allott, what can I do for you? how’s Mr Allott?

Mrs Allott: He’s fine. Dr, I’m here about my pussy.

Dr. Don: And what is the problem with it?

Mrs Allott: It keeps itching.

Dr. Don: Well, you better get it out and I’ll take a look at it.

Mrs Allott gets it out and Dr. Don proceeds to take a good look at it.

Dr. Don: You have a lovely pussy,
... Continue»
Posted by suavisdulcis 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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THE WALKING FUCKERS, Complete Story

THE WALKING FUCKERS


It was supposed to be a weak RNA strand that
disabled the enemy then withered.
The vector virus had other ideas.
It found a single, mutated Ecoli bacterium
and mated with it.
Military “Intelligence” had finally fucked us all.


“M0m will be furious with me,” I thought, lying in bed,
trying to figure how I'd refuse the “corrective” surgery
and not get kicked out of the house.
The alarm clock beeped.

“I'm 18, why NOW?? I grew up this way! NO, mom, NO!”

Fifty rehearsals in my head.
I waited.
Nothing.

Then voices in the street.
I looked out the w
... Continue»
Posted by yutubeslut 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Skype horny chat CuteLea & Bleuchanel69 sex ta

That's a hot chat I just had one hour ago with a fantastic english teen. As a lot of men ask me how I find girls, maybe they can find some tips there. I put a screen-shot at the end of the text. Comment if you like, I can post other hot talks I had and I will have ^^

I only modified CuteLéa by Lea and bleuchanel69 by Me - should be easier to read -, and hidded the town where she lives. It may be sometimes a little boring, but it is the real chat we had. Comment also if you don't like ;)



[17:33:19] Lea: hey sorry i havent spoken to you in ages :( i lost my laptop charger so i h... Continue»
Posted by bleuchanel69_skypeme 10 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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WHEN LUST AND WIT COLLIDE.(Final Edition).

Continuation of part 1

Isabel finally made it to her relative's place .her face was completely haggard and worn out still panting from her little escapade.Every now and then she was able to stop,took a deep breath and took some rest.Knocking on the door, still panting, waited for the door to open ,for her unexpected arrival.Not long enough , the door opens , and greeted her cousin Belinda still panting."Hello Belinda!! she smiled faintly. Hey!!! What a surprise !!! What happened to you?Belinda snapped. How come you are panting like someone chased you? Belinda pointed out. Yes ... Continue»
Posted by constantienab73 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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in mywildest dreams

now this is some shit thats hrd to belive
never could i ever imagined what was going to happen to me
as i lay therelost in a dream filled with differentwoman in front of me
somewere black somewere whitethe majority looked like white but as i stared getting to know each one it was clearthat race didnt really appear wellat least 2 me it didnt becausetheonlything i saw were nice shaped bodys notthe way u would think...but niced shaped in a way that appealed...to me...
the roundest of tits the thickness in there assess and legs u see i like that shit it turns me on callme different call mewron... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Emma’s Joy Stick

She sucked on his cock with relish across the gear stick separating the two front seats. Knowing the more danger they were both in the harder he would cum, Emma sucked him harder with gusto and worked the throbbing rock-hard ‘stick’ in her mouth, her tongue slithered and pressed every which way inside. His hands were busy changing gears and steering the wheel, concentrated hard on keeping the car on the road and not the ditch on the side. Every pothole Andrew couldn’t avoid jolted his cock deep into Emma’s mouth, hit the back of the throat every so often.

Now that the blow job keeps both oc... Continue»
Posted by MinxGirl 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Husband watches

Jools was quite simply beautiful. She sat astride him and he could not believe he was so fortunate. She was like a naughty angel. Albeit an angel with flawless makeup and one wearing a black and red leather corset, fishnet stockings and high heels.
"I'm going to fuck you hard," she whispered, leaning closer to him. "You're going to cum so much and I want it all."
"Oh my god," he managed to gasp as she leant forwards to nuzzle his ear, running her tongue up his neck. His cock was a hard pain between his legs. It twitched as she brushed his legs with her fishnets. Her nipples were visib... Continue»
Posted by bumfelt 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Letters to Mario

This story is a bit of a fanfic, if you want to call it that, telling Princess Peach's misadventures while being in Bowser's grasp. It's told from her perspective through a series of letters wrote to Mario in which she discovers that maybe she isn't as pure as she was raised to think. I wrote that on an other website some time ago and it was pretty well received there, so here it is! It's still a work in progress.

---

Dear Mario, I hope you'll get this letter. In my heart I know you are coming to free me from Bowser, but please come as quickly as you possibly can! As soon as he threw me ... Continue»
Posted by masterfg42 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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I Treated the Slut Like Shit...

She's a minger and she knows it: forty with a wonky eye, overweight and with an abundance of moles on her arms with a large one on her stomach. Her personal hygiene leaves a little to be desired too but she has big tits and nipples though.

She absolutely adores me but the thing is I just don't give a damn about her: she is just a sexual object to me like the majority of my women. And I have had loads,fucking loads.

On the plus side, however, she is a tad kinky – I guess it’s the only thing the ugly bitch has going for her.

Anyway, it's Wednesday and my day off – I know s... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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