Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 74

OAP Oral sex

Two old age pensioners are enjoying oral sex together... but after a few minutes, the old guy says, "I can't stay down here much longer, it stinks!"

The old lady says, " I'm sorry, it's my arthritis playing up again."

The old guy replies, " You've got arthritis in your cunt?"

"No" says the old lady, "the arthritis is in my arm, it means I can't wipe my arse!"... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 537  |  
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SAO

This is chapter 16.5 from SAO


Asuna plopped down naked on the sofa and glared defiantly at me.
"...Kirito, hurry up and take your clothes off," she said in an authoritative tone.
"What...w-we're continuing?"
"It would be stupid if we stopped here!!"
I hurriedly complied. Opening the window indicated by Asuna, I toggled off the option buried deep within the menu.
Because of the hurried start, there was no romantic mood to speak of. Sitting on the bed which was slightly too small for the two of us, we slowly did as much as the system would allow.
The dim blue moonlight filtered throug... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 537  |  
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The Patient

Dana fidgeted nervously on the couch while Dr. Wallace studied the patient history form that she had filled out an hour earlier. "I see that you've been married for about three years now, is that right?" the doctor asked casually. "Uh, yes," she replied. "It was three years last month. And everything was pretty much all right between you and your husband until you had the baby?" "Yes, we had a wonderful marriage," she answered softly. "But now............." "What do you think went wrong?" the doctor asked. "Is there anything specific or just a general malaise in you relationship?" "... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 536  |  
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Preplanned (Rap)ing Drama

It was an unwanted occurrence for me, about which I have never even imagined. The incident occurred most recently and I was totally unready for facing such type of situation. Though the whole situation was pre-planned and just a drama, nothing else. The heroin of this drama was my house owner’s middle aged wife Sulekha Bhabi. I have rented this apartment in March 2010, my flat is at the ground floor. From the very beginning when I first met Sulekha Bhabi, I attracted to her liquid eyed lusty sight. When she stares at my eyes, I seemed she can see the bottom of my mind. I also think that she is... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 536  |  
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Missing Mom Becomes a Prostitute





It happened when I was 13 yrs old, me and my mom are all alone,,, no relatives no one to support us. Mom used to search for employment and I used to help her out in all kinds of work. What I came to know when I became older was that my mom in her college days was a beauty and had so many guys around her trying for a chance to experience her body which was 37-26-38, 5’5’’ tall whitish complexion more she looks like vijayashanti in telugu movies. She fell in love
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 5 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 538  |  
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Rise & Shine, sl**pyhead!

(She wakes up from erotic dream to find it's reality)

I was sl**ping, and I had a dream. A nice, silly dream about Joey and me. We were walking over a meadow, eating wild raspberries off a bush, and talking about going abroad for our next vacation. The day was warm and sunny, and we were far away from sneaking eyes. We laid down in the grass and started to kiss. I put my arms around Joey and he rolled on top of me. He caressed me and nibbled on my earlobes. I made a happy sound.

My clothes must have melted away, because suddenly I was naked, and Joey parted my legs and entered me. I open... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 535  |  
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Fucking Supergirl Dream lol

Ever wake up to finding yourself masturbating and fantasizing about some type of sex. lol well for me it happened during the night. i found myself lying in bed rubbing and stroking my rock hard cock and dreaming about Supergirl from DC comics or at least this woman was wearing an outfit like supergirl all i know is i pulled of her blue top with the superman logo on it revealing her big tits as she sucked my cock in my fantasy. and then pulled off her skirt and gave her a hell of a good fuck doggystyle. clearly it must just been roleplaying cause if it was really supergirl shed probably had rip... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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Funny wank story

You think it will never happen and then...

I was spending a few hours jacking off the other day while I was watching my favorite site, Xhamster. I was looking at pictures and found a new hottie I liked named Melissa. She only has a couple of pictures on the site but I was stroking pretty hard to them.
When you stroke for a long time you build up a pretty good cumblast waiting to happen. I was heavily stroking, thinking of Melissa's cute ass and how good it would feel to fuck her doggy-style when I shot a short quick blast.
It rose up into the air. Normally I shoot a little to the left... Continue»
Posted by cockstrokin1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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The Changing Room - Strange Relationship Version X

Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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The first time I saw you

I remember that day.
I was working for the college, finishing out the last years of my degree and picking up work at the gym. It was boring as all hell, checking the sign in sheet, orienting the new students, cleaning up after the students. It was a special type of hell, but hell, it payed. Not near enough, but it payed.

It was another boring afternoon, and i noticed you coming in for your workout. You had never been in before, but that isn't why i noticed you. you were attractive, but for a second i couldn't tell if you were a boy or a girl. Short, boy cut hair, originally brown, but col... Continue»
Posted by creasedmomo 7 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 534  |  
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24

Ever hear that old rap song “It was a Good Day” by Ice Cube?

The song refers to that one inevitable day that every one has where everything goes “right”, you can’t make a mistake and you have the luck of the Irish.

Well, I recently had one of those days. It was probably one of the greatest days in my life.

For a little background on me (to put things in perspective) … I live and work in San Francisco. It’s a great city, but I have what is deemed bad karma. My friends tease me by calling me “Peter Parker” because I’m a little bit klutzy and always have some trouble with the ladies.
... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 533  |  
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what a FUCKING day !

we are a couple and are very much in love and love to fuck each other whenever and where ever we can!

it was a saturday morning and my sexy boyfriend woke me up by fingering my pussy until i was nice and wet, he then proceeded to suck on my nipples and kiss all down my body until he came down to my wet pussy. he licked my clit and sucked on my lips until i came.

after i had cum he flipped me over ontop of him and slammed my pussy down onto his rock hard dick. i moaned with enjoyment... i leaned my upper body down onto his chest and began to shake my ass up and down just on the head of ... Continue»
Posted by Hrnycouple 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 533  |  
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SPITFIRE

Shannon Blake couldn't help it. She simply had to talk herself
into trouble. This had been a problem for her growing up at home,
at school and later on, wherever she worked. She seemed to
crave confrontation and constantly found herself arguing with
others over the smallest of issues.

Of course, this was before she met Erik Powell.

The two had been dating less than a month when Shannon managed
to instigate a loud argument in the middle of a film they
were watching. Aggravated by Shannon's behavior and embarrassed
at being part of a public spectacle, Erik took his date by... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 532  |  
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Hooked

One early Sunday morning bored and a little turned on I decided to check Craigslist personals for a little fun (if I got lucky) and or just for shits and giggles.

This ended up landing me a hooker, pretending to be an average girl looking for free sex (usual craigslist stuff, but she never advertised she was a hooker until I emailed). Which kind of made me want to have fun with her a little.

Emails are as follows -

Riverdale (me):
"Hi, I saw your ad on craigslist. I saw your pictures and I just had to compliment you on it."

The girl:
"Are you generous?"
----

This shit again..... Continue»
Posted by CountJones 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 532  |  1

Joke..

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 531  |  
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Bar Pick Up (bbw)

(Short story I've got a longer one in the works I wrote
this back 2001 )

Gary Badcock was feeling a little drained from all the seminars,
he was attending the last three days. Now that he was finished with the
last one. He thought he'd stop in the hotel lounge for quick drink before
going home. Gary was lucky that all these seminars were in being held in his
home city.
It took a few minutes for his eyes to ajust to th darkness of the place.
He saw a few pleople in the place. As he sat down at the bar he glanced over
to dark hair lady a few stools down. He ordered a ... Continue»
Posted by MasterBill 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 531  |  
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My First

This is a real summary account of my 21 year old girlfriend (as of now, the only i been with technically) So i'll start off and say, i was around 24-25 year old at the time. In which i was still a virgin (thankfully i didn't reach the 40 year old statues, otherwise i was prepared to ship my dick to a random feminist group. To perform some ritual about a virgin man, while flapping it about in the air. I dunno, whatever.)

It all started on a OkCupid account. I was looking for any girl around my area, and basically came upon this Latina girl that we will call for now Meg. I call her Meg becaus... Continue»
Posted by TanDickk 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 531  |  1

How to train your dragon sex with toothless. part

Something was wrong with Astrid, and Hiccup had no idea what it could be. Ever since last wash day she has been far friskier then ever before. Hiccup couldn't turn around without Astrid barreling down on him, ripping his clothes off and doing every dirty thing under Sol's sun. She would show up at the forge and basically pounce him; or the one time in the mead hall while everyone was eating supper, she stealthily slipped under their bench and gave him the most amazing blow job ever. Hiccup couldn't understand why she was suddenly so... un Astrid like.

He wasn't overly concerned, it was Drag... Continue»
Posted by john123bons 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 530  |  
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cum over for a drink (short but sweet)

I have this story to share, never actually told it to anyone before but it’s kind of fun so enjoy.
I live outside of town a couple of miles and therefore the parties always ended up at my place. Far enough from town that we can have a big fire and make some noise and no one cares but close enough to still get a taxi home or whatever. So, this was a typical small party. About 25 people gathered around the fire pit which was in my back yard. The house was always open so people could use the fridge or washroom etc. It was about midnight or so when I accidentally spilled a drink onto my pant leg... Continue»
Posted by mr_pearson12 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 529  |  
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When Curiosity Pays Off.

I work in the fashion indstry so a lot of my mates are homosexual, I've been told by my homosexual friends guys do it better, deepthroat, hand jobs and general fucking. So me not being one to judge before hand, I started browsing Craigslist and found a candidate who's a bottom, after brief discussion, I went to his apartment, to which was as stated in his ad, the door wasn't closed only ajar, I walked in, a few meters from the computer was a blanket covered person with a hole for my dick to travel through to the mouth.

Me figuring this is it, unzipped and plunged my dick into his mouth, mak... Continue»
Posted by Nerd2score 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 529  |  
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