Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 74

fuck

1. Cut your finger nails!
This is such a simple little thing, but it goes a long way. You will be hard pressed to find any area on her body more sensitive than her vagina (inside and out), and the LAST thing you want to do is completely ruin the mood with a scratch. How do you know if your nails are cut short enough? Touch your gums with the tips of your fingers, how do they feel? If you're not sure, cut them. (If you're having daily sex with your partner, you might be cutting your fingernails as often as every 2-3 days.) But believe me, it's THAT important.
2. Listen and pay attention (in b... Continue»
Posted by manaliheel 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Happy 2013 Newyear

2012-2013!
by Peter Leo.
approaching the door of our suite, with key in hand, i think with a frown how late business took me and that you’ll be fast asl**p. so knowing my fate, with the stealth of a cat burglar, i quietly slip the key into the lock of the knob. pushing the door open i enter soundlessly. wanting, but not wanting to wake you. i listen in hopes that you aren’t sl**p. but as i make my way into the darkened room, i see your cloths strewn over a chair near the bed. making out your soft steady breathing, that of someone lost in dreamland. “damn”, i mumble.
... Continue»
Posted by waxbat 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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A Kiss is Still a Kiss

Introduction:
Growing up in the same neighbourhood as Amy Jones and Samantha Williams, he'd known them from a distance since they were both knee-high to a grasshopper.
Growing up in the same neighbourhood as Amy Jones and Samantha Williams, he'd known them from a distance since they were both knee-high to a grasshopper. But he couldn't remember a single time when the two of them were not together.

If either of them had been in the least bit plain, they would have drawn snide comments from other schoolc***dren about their sexuality, no doubt, perhaps even earning nicknames suggesting that ... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Frustration Contact. (Short Story) Also seen on L

The queue, waiting for the first lift is large, but my eyes focus happily on the blonde hair of a woman ahead of me, rather than the floor indicator above each lift. I love women like her, slim, mature, maybe even over fifty, dressed in a suit, shiny hair in a bob style, elegant and feminine.

I am going into the same lift as her, just so that I may gaze discretely at her and enjoy her good looks. My head thrills at the possibility that she has a thin blouse and underneath, a Camisole top. Utterly divine!

The right hand lift arrives and a mass of people shuffle sideways to get it, but ... Continue»
Posted by matureworship 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Why do so many people want me to friend them?

Why is it so many people want to be my friend? I mean seriously. You don't have to be friends with somebody in order to be friends. Some of my best friends aren't my friends, but we're really, REALLY GOOD friends. Then on the other hand, some of my friends aren't friends at all. We're just friends, is all. It's a shame, but that the way it is sometimes.

So why do you want to be my friend? We don't know each other. Out of the clear blue you swoop down and say, "HEY! You want to be friends?" --I don't know you! For all I know, you could be an axe murderer! Or worse, you co... Continue»
Posted by George178 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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WILL'S FANTASY PART 1

I come to be with you in USA.
You take me to your home and we talk as you get me settled in the guest room.
Wanting to take things slow till we both feel ready for more.
We grow closer as the days go by and I know what I want.
I go to the garage to help you fix the car ,wearing a dress and bringing a small hamper of snacks (short bread biscuits,strawberries ,whipped cream and chocolate sauce )for later ...
I stand there ,in the door way ,smiling as you tell me I am not dressed for garage work...
You hand me overalls...
I look into your eyes & smile at you then drop my gaze & gigg... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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LittleMissLipService offers Doug an Apology

Hi all....I have been so bad about posting stories here,
I actually enjoy writing when I have the time and have many, many great true stories that I want to share with all of you naughty perverts ;)

So watch this space for several new stories shortly.....
This is an entry that I wanted to share with you about something that happened earlier this evening when I offered to take a fellow Xhamster writer's fantasy and flesh it out into a story...... They had no interest in doing it and I and several other readers thought it started out very sexily and then just died off - we wanted our Happ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissLipService 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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What attracts women to older men?

Professor David Perrett, of the University of St Andrews, said that the characteristics of our parents are imprinted in our minds as c***dren, so that we remember and recognise our parents from a very early age.

This is a result of observing our families at close quarters and is seen in other mammals, reports the Daily Mail.

But it seems these "remembered" characteristics do go on to influence who we find attractive in later life.

The researchers conducted a large-scale survey, asking 300 men and 400 women (all of whom were in a relationship and who had been brought up by two paren... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Party Girl

"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place we are going will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settled then," Brenda said happily, "we're gonna go!!!

... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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WHAT I WILL LIKE TO DO

what i would like to do
Well where do I start? I suppose from the start ,I have so many things I would like to try ,but I will have to go slow ,and build it up until the weekend ,and then step it up a notch, think I just start off very slow and work my way up ,I really don’t know until we try for the first time ,and see how everything fits .I am just going to lay there with you and hold you tight I have been waiting for this for a long time ,but one thing I know for sure ,I am going to pussy .lick ,suck and tease your pussy ,real slow ,and not give you the full treatment ,by looking at the p... Continue»
Posted by alwaysREADY2please 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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First Time

Back in, I believe 2009, I was confronted by an ex in the middle of a park.

She confessed herself, before we knew it we were making-out for a good half hour before she took me down to the beach and into a small wooded area. She laid there before we started in on each other, it was probably one of the hottest moments of my life.
15 Minutes later she started to ride me like her life depended on it, unfortunately so old man walked over and was about to take a piss. The moment was ruined in second.

It didn't end well, but still a first time is a first time.... Continue»
Posted by 7inchesofheaven 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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What to do For an Encore

"Back in med evil days Gay sex was more in the open."

"Behold Hector, someone with their head and arms
caught in the stockade. Let us make haste
and part his ass cheeks forthwith!"

"You go ahead Orville I will go to the village and summon
the brethren so we can have a proper gang bang!"

*********************************************************************

The room was filled with cigarette smoke. But that wasn't a problem for two reasons. One we weren't at work and two I had started smoking again to help me over the estrogen roller co... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Classes Day Trip to HIS Dairy!

The Classes Day Trip to HIS Dairy!

It was spring time and the c***dren of Lory's class were supposed to go
on a nature day outing.

All the class were excited about it and they desired to visit Lory's
FATHER'S Dairy.

They all remembering the cool exhibit that Lory and her DAD put on
earlier in the school year.

Ms. Appleton's sudden departure afterward had necessitated her
replacement by Mrs. Gunther, but no one blamed that on Lory.
p**o files are everywhere, who would of guessed.

So Lory's FATHER arranged for a luxury bus and one of his drone's
to be th... Continue»
Posted by Enteme 6 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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SHE WANTED ALL OF ME IN HER MOUTH...

THIS IS JUST AN ACCOUNT OF THE GREATEST ORAL EXPERIENCE I EVER HAD.. I SHORT-CUT RIGHT TO THE JUICY PART.. BUT I GUARANTEE THIS IS ALL 100% HONESTY..

WHEN SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO 69 WITH MY, I LAY ON MY BACK GETTING MY HEAD COMFORTABLE ON THE PILLOWS... SILENTLY SHE WAVED HERE FINGER @ ME NEGATIVELY & GRABBING MY HAND SHE TUGGED/URGED ME UP & OFF THE BED.. ONCE I WAS UP, SHE LAY DOWN.. ONLY REVERSED (HER FEET TOWARDS THE HEADBOARD, HEAD HANGING FREELY OVER THE EDGE OF THE BED.. GAZING UP @ ME SHE TOLD ME, "NOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE TO MY PUSSY WITH YOUR TONGUE @ THE THE SAME TIME YO... Continue»
Posted by jboi626 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Going Fishin'

Introduction: A tale with a twist

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go but, what can they do...

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man! How long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The night bef... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Playing with Amy Dumas (Lita)

Posted by eroll113 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Who is she #1

Here we go.
I met a girl long ago she was engaged to another man, i had an intimate moments with her on a school trip I was a senior, we didnt go to the same school.
She called told me she was pregnant and I basically told her it wasnt mines and good luck. She was dismissed. Call me a jerk but she was engaged ( why was she calling me) her privates wasnt even tight for her to claim she was pure.
Years passed I tried calling to check on her, she married and moved. Good for her.

NY holiday season its busy, the lights are bright, ppl are shopping, ppl are working, the smell of tar, roasted... Continue»
Posted by 6775young 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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suck that cock bitch

My x wife and I had been wanting to explore our sexual boundries after our encounter with her friend camille! I said I tell you what, since camille was here last week I will call wess and we can both fuck your pussy tonite you know what I want daddy? I said what baby? she said well you know you are his idol and he will do anything you ask him to rt?I said I guess she said I want you to fuck his mouth and then fuck his ass while he fucks me,I said put on ur school girl skirt and top and get ready for us! She said I'm gonna turn on the cameras in here yes I said do that I told her when he gets h... Continue»
Posted by jwmax420 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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