Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 73

A new found friend.

Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Posted by Mads69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The walk in park. The real story.

This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Damaged scrotum story

A vicar asks his congregation if anyone would like to express thanks for their answered prayers.

A young woman makes her way to the front of the church and turns to face the congregation. "I would like to give thanks to my answered prayers! she announces. "Six months ago, my husband, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was agonizing and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

A stifled gasp came from every man in the congregation as they imagined the pain that the poor man must have experienced.

The young woman continued, "My ... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I should have done it.

When I was uni-student. One day I was going to a book store by motorcycle.
I was aware a woman walking this way. Passing beyond, we turned our eyes each other.
I murmured "she is tight!" in my heart. When I was reading a book in a sotre, someone
stood by me and pushed stucked book down to my side ..
I faced that person. She was there! She didn't look at me but seemed to expect something.
After a while she moved to exit and stopped to face me for a moment.
I was too square to chase her. I should have done it.... Continue»
Posted by tatsu403 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The name's James Hard-on. Part I

In case you are wondering, this is a James Bond gay spoof.

Riding in a personal e****t vehicle and in the back, I felt nice and cozy in my suit and white tie. I looked down as I sat in the large seat and could feel a nice poking in my black trousers. A nice tent rising up to meet me as I got comfy in my dress slacks. Damn it felt so good to be horny!

The portable screen in front of me shut on and a white haired woman named B appeared. I almost closed my legs at the surprise. I was never used to that woman showing up unexpectedly.

"James Hard-on."
"That's my name."
"Enough of your je... Continue»
Posted by damlovmature 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Memoirs of a Woman of the Wind


I opened my weak weary eyes, the glare from the bright sunshine obscured my vision,
as strange faces looked down upon me.

I could hear the sound of rolling waves from the sea, and my clothes felt heavy and wet.
My blonde hair was all matted from the salty water.
I had been lying u*********s on a sandy beach.

The handsome faces staring down at me were brown with a slight reddish tint to them.
I'd never seen faces like these before.
There was a mix of men and women, and some young boys and girls amongst the small crowd too.
They each had long strait thick black hair,
Both genders ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Late Night Eggroll Delivery

I'm feeling pretty good today. An old friend of mine stopped by last night and we slept together. Susan is a gorgeous 38 year old redhead with a luscious body and a pair of really big breasts. When she gets excited, which is pretty much all the time, her nipples swell hugely. I swear that they become an inch long and they're very thick too. I just love to suck on them. Her clitoris swells hugely too and it is heaven to suck it into your mouth.

Susan and I didn't get to bed (sl**p) until pretty early this morning because we were in this 69 for two or three hours last night. I... Continue»
Posted by sparky1721 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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passion towards mom part

Before starting the story, let me introduce my f****y and I am Anand, 21 years and doing my MBA from a reputed college in Delhi and also helping my Mom in her business. My Mom Vibha is 42 now her Fig is 36 30 38. She is fair in colour and 5 feet 4 inches in height. My Father Ashok Jaiswal died in 2008 due to high Diabetes and he left his business for us

And a good amount of money but his death was a shock for us and also my mom was not capable of handling business at that time. So after his death we faced lot of troubles and during this time and I came very close to my Mom and there were t... Continue»
Posted by vijayhot18 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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What women think while having sex

Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.

Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.

And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.

"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as s... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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my travel

My Experience in London
What impressed me a lot were the buildings in London like the buildings along Regent Street & Oxford Street which are of typical British style.Even the common residential houses were so nice.But houses looked similar,it wasn't easy for me to find the right way every time.

When people are talking about U.K.,talking about London,they have to refer to Buckingham Palace,Tower of London National Gallery and the British Museum.Luckily,I visited all of these great sights.Now they are not only big names to me,but also a part of my experience,a part of my memory.

Buckingh... Continue»
Posted by GlamorBaby 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical....18

Theatrical…..18
So back to this evening, we drove off to the hotel, Julia and I marched through reception again, while my friend booked us in and got the key, same room, as we went to the room a door opened in front of us and the black waiter came out carrying his tunic, he smiled and walked past us back to the reception, “is that?” Julia asked, “yes, he seems popular all of a sudden” I said smiling at her, we got to the room and I threw myself onto the couch, kicking off my shoes as I chuckled at the recollection of what had happened,
Gerald came into the lounge from the bathroom where he ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Taking Care of My Grannies Part III


Well, I have told you about two of my four Grannies, so it’s time to reminisce about Granny number three, Joan, a well built, sassy redhead from Chicago. She was somewhat stocky but made up for it with the nicest set of large boobs I have ever seen on a granny. They still had plenty of lift and always wore low cut tops; her cleavage poured out of her bra. Now being a big city girl she knew the score when it came to a guy like me. She knew I was fucking other women. I would call her looking for a date and she would ask “who did you fuck last night” I jokingly responded “it doesn’t matter, who... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Curse of the gypsy woman - Part three

Introduction:
This is the continuing saga of Melissa, a woman, a preacher's wife, who is redescovering her sexuality. Please read part one before you read this one. It will really be to your benefit
The idea came to her as she was shopping for today's dinner. Having filled the basket with all necessary ingredients for her lasagna, adding a little fruit to fill the bowl in the living room, being especially careful to add a few bananas to the bundle, she paid for her groceries and made sure to withdraw some extra cash in the process. She then went to the pharmacist to get what she had in mind.... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 22 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Vacation Drive

Finally, we had our own car back and it was just in time too. We had already planned our vacation and even rented our room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee starting the following night. I lay in bed next to my wife as she was reading. She had a confused look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This sounds fake.” She replied, pointing at a page in the book. “But, I don’t know cars.” I rolled to face her.
“What sounds fake?”
She began to read to me from the book, which turned out to be a compilation of letters from the Penthouse Forum. It had been left at our house in Minnesota by one or the other ... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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What a woman really wants....

Men always wonder what woman want. Well I can tell you what this woman wants. It's three simple things....

1.Being told they are beautiful even if in their eyes they don't see it...someday they might. Even if she insists she's not she is just trying to take away years of hearing negative things and doesn't know how to take the good complaiment.

2. They like the know they needed and in return know they are appreciated and not just a warm piece of meat next to you at night or middle of day.

3. Every once in a while woman like for men to do something out of their comfort zone. Send her f... Continue»
Posted by dragonsbell 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy

Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy
Written by irish4skin
Starring
Mandy Muffin as herself
Josephine James as herself T-Girl Candy Surprise as herself
MILF Delilah as Linda Herrin T-Girl Carla Novaes as herself
Corina Curves as Dr. Carolyn Dick T-Girl Elisangel as herself
Donita Dunes as herself Sasha Grey as herself
T-Girl Adriana Rodriguez as Salina T-Girl Mariana Cordoba as Sama... Continue»
Posted by icemanrisen 10 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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An unexpected erotic high heel moment.

The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.

I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Homebrew

On the Friday of Faye's third week of absence from the lab, our boss sent me round to check on her. There's only so long you can play the "bit of a bug" card before it becomes taking the piss.

When I rang her bell and waited, I didn't think she was going to answer. It even crossed my mind that she might have bagged a sneaky last-minute flight to somewhere decidedly warmer than dreary old Scotland and had been phoning in her "still not better, I'm afraids" from a poolside somewhere gloriously hot. If I hadn't already been pissed off at her for making me cover her workload, that thought pushe... Continue»
Posted by Kinnie 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Me and My Bestfriend Jake

This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.

My friend and as a lover:


It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Posted by dianneforbes16 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening: Part 2

Trevor opened his eyes as the first rays of the Morning sun streamed through the open blinds.

"Did that really happen?" he asked himself. A quick glance at the bed next to him revealed Brad's lady friend Mandy, nude lying facedown in the bed. Trevor placed his hand on the small of her back and as he felt the warmth of her soft skin the events of the previous night came flooding back.

He noted that she couldn't have been less interested in him, and that it wasn't until he removed his glasses and looked at her with his naked eyes that she became sexually aroused. Perhaps the Crystallized... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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