Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 73

The Hot Affair

Tossing and turning on the bed; she found that sl**p would not come to her, as her mind was full of vivid memories of the days fun they had just enjoyed. A smile came across her face as she remembered each detail of their Anniversary dinner. Choosing a more private affair than most they had decided to go to the local park with a blanket. Once there she realised there was no food. Arching an eyebrow questioning at him he had laughed, pulled her down onto the blanket, lifted her skirt and started to lick and suck her clit. Every so often lifting his head to insert a finger into her wet pulsin... Continue»
Posted by craigus44 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Blame It on the Water

by scribbleskillz



Two hours ago, it was a good day.

I was with my parents out for a weekend of scuba diving and sun tanning off the coast of Catalina. A much needed weekend of relaxation brought to us through spontaneous means (my pops had cracked a screw and instead of a sports car for his mid-life crisis, he bought a rather big yacht). And so we'd been enjoying the sun after a nice afternoon dive. Armed with margaritas and not a care in the world. That is what I call blissful.

Thirty minutes ago, we received the warning.

Any good sailor knows to check the weather reports ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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How I did LSD & lost my virginity for the firs

This is my first story so constructive criticism please, if you like this I will post more stories from my strange & crazy life. This is a true story, happened to me in the summer of 05' best day of my life.


So first the stats, you fellow story readers seam to enjoy them. The girl in this story Rachel is/was 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Mulatto, 5'4" maybe 125lbs, Curvy, a nice handful of tits & a rock hard ass that went on for days. I was & still am, 1/2 irish 1/2 mexican, 5'9" 144lbs very skinny yet toned from lack of body fat, I'm a grower not a shower, at 9inches when erect & I'm cut... Continue»
Posted by dayzicle 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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How to tell if you would be a good pornstar

STRAIGHT MALE EDITION

Every Straight Male thinks they're able to do porn

1. Are you capable of cumming more than once ? not that you will really need to but just in case you happen to get over excited around female performers you wont explode and then have nothing else left in the arsenal.

2. How are your athletic skills ? its one thing to be in a gangbang edge yourself and wait till its your turn to jizz, but its another thing when you have to penetrate another performer in full speed without getting out of breath and stopping.Porn stars usually go half and hal... Continue»
Posted by guess1tw3ll 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A Happy Thanksgiving With My Cousin

This story is completely fictional!

It had been a few months since I had seen my cousin Sara and when she got to my house for thanksgiving I was stunned at how sexy she looked. Since I had seen her last, she had cut her hair and more importantly developed a nice set of tits. Not too big and not too small, just perfect for a track runner like she was. She had a slim body but perfect ass which I loved to stare at. When everyone arrived I took their coats and threw them on my bed, Sara came with me and threw a few coats down too. She commented on how messy my room was and laughed when she s
... Continue»
Posted by faddy02 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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In The Hallway

My doorbell rings and I rush to the hallway. My heart leaps into my throat, my pulse quickens and my skin becomes moist. I have been waiting for you, here in my house, for so long. Now you have come and I can hardly wait for you to enter. I stand at the back of the long hall, itching to rush to the door and loving the exquisite prolongation of this moment, my body becoming weaker, my love for you becoming stronger.

From my warm secret hiding place deep in the dark of my house I see your silhouette through the frosted glass. You press your nose to it and you see nothing but shadow. Already ... Continue»
Posted by IrmaCerrutti 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Expanded Back Story Of Sarah, A Girl From The


In the 2 years I spent as a bartender there were only two girls, Sarah and Kelly, that I fucked just to fuck.
The other 13 I actually liked in some way or another, I mean I didn' want to marry them or anything, but they all had some charm.

But not Sarah. Sarah was hot alright, in fact I ranked her at the top 3 of the hottest girls I fucked while working at the bar. She had nice long dirty blond/light brown hair, a very respectable body, I'm not talking rail thin or anything, but the meat was in all the right places. mainly her tits, a nice 36C if I remember correctly and a fine ... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Fully Dressed

Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????

I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.

One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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turning the tables on dad

Turning the tables on dad
Growing up all I ever heard was, "As long as you live under my roof you'll do as I say, young man!" Yeah my Father was very strict. Up until the time I moved out of his house, at age 22, I had to toe the line or accept the punishment. Punishment was always the same. Dad would make me strip to my briefs with my hands at my sides as he lectured me. Then I'd have to lie across his lap and take some hard swats on my brief covered ass. Eventually he'd pull down my briefs exposing my round bare ass completely. He'd then go to work spanking my bare butt--usually until he br... Continue»
Posted by doctor27 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Telling a Woman the Truth about her Vaginal Odor

When I was single and using aol to meet women I chatted with a self-proclaimed 'curvy' 24-year-old gal named Lisa. I didn't see any photo of her ahead of time (and this was before the days of built-in cameras/skyping) but she did tell me that she had red hair on top and on the bottom. I followed up by asking if she shaved or trimmed any of her pubic hair. Her response was music to my ears(or eyes since we were chatting): "No, but it's like in between strawberry blonde and red, so I always thought it was kind of pretty." Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I love pussy hair no matter ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Changing Room - Strange Relationship Version X

Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 6 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Good & Bad Fucking Lessons From Porn Movies

In addition to its ability to cheer you up in times of need, porn has some useful lessons to impart to its viewers. On the other hand, some of these are hideous faux pas that every man should avoid like the plague -- or gonorrhea, for that matter. Then there are the great lessons porn has to offer us all.

Pornography is generally a healthy staple of any man’s life, but beware: Not all porn is helpful to your sex life. Watching porn with your girlfriend can be a great way to learn about each other and have a laugh. Although you'll probably learn most lessons on your own, if you're lucky, yo... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Chevy in the Barn

Once there was a traveling sales man named John, selling his wares on the back roads of Iowa. One evening, he was lost, driving down a deserted country road. When he hit a pothole in the night, it threw him across the ditch and into a tree. John got out of the car, he wasn't hurt but the car wasn't going anywhere. He looked up and down the road. No one would be traveling these roads this late at night he thought. So he picked a direction and started walking.

As John walked in the dark, he could hear all the sounds of the night. "What was that?... "He startled, "Oh just an owl." Then a coyo... Continue»
Posted by MesfordK 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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MY BOSS KUSUM

This is a incident which happened two years back when I joined a new firm.the story is about my boss mrs kusum chaddha.after and before this incident I had lesbian sex with many women who were younger than me.in college I did lesbian sex with girls but this was the best and most memorable was with mrs kusum chaddha who is older than me.By her experience and perfection she gave me lovely orgasm.she was the best.I was new in firm I was not much familiar to her as she was from different department.she was in her mid-forties,busty lady,5,10 tall,fair,good looking figure 40-32-38.she was a mother o... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 6 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Jane

June 1977:

It is probably plainly obvious this is 100% true, but just in case:

" The following is 100% true"




I used to work on Broad Street in Birmingham, in a building that is now a Travel Lodge. It was mostly
drinking, sl**ping and shagging that went on there, when it was our office, so it was probably a logical step.

Over the road was a pub, named at various timed the Granville and The Westward Ho, but it is now O'Neills.
This was the place that the staff drank at lunchtimes, and after work.

If you knew the manager it meant you could stay all afternoon, when t... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Joke for today

WY

An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.

The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?

The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WE... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Photo Album:Teacher's Pet, Part Two

Dr. C. Chambers Post, grew up in a religious Roman Catholic home in a working class neiborhood in Queens, NY. As a young man, he knew he was different from the other boys in his school. But with a strong religious mother and distant transit worker father, he felt it best to keep his sexual predilictions to himself. He was tall, 6'2", handsome, young man with a well built body. As a 17 yo high school senior, he enjoyed being persued by the young ladies in their circle of friends. His two older b*****rs had followed their father in the transit buisness, where if they worked hard for 25... Continue»
Posted by Blondkid2020 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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squirting

Omg Iv only had sex with one guy as was with the same guy for four years and he never once made me orgasm.. I thought maybe it was me that i wasnt as sensitive down there as other girls or something..anyway I know now that he just wasnt doing it for me because last night I had a really naughty cam session with a guy from manchester..he was really fit and in great shape especially for his age(59)
He said he had a thing for school girls so i put on an old school uni that fit me when i was 14 but makes a great slutty outfit now. the skirt barely covers my bum as i always wore it short anyhow.
a... Continue»
Posted by 4dlaf 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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cuckold 102

After chatting with someone online one night, the recommended me check out this site. All I can say is I love it, brings back so many memories of great times.
I may have a number of episodes of things involving my 1st wife over the years we were married. But, I guess I need to start off at the beginning. These things took place many years ago, when sex health concerns were different. Plus we lived in a small town, AIDs was not an issue at the time, and other STDs were not common there either. Needless to say, she much preferred bareback and receiving semen internally.

So, my story starts... Continue»
Posted by ltbgman 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Funny Tag team orgy

When i was 18 i had my first orgy ...it was me, my boy, this girl i had just met, and her friend. It all started at cici's (pizza buffet) me and my boy had walked in to grab a bite when we came across two big booty chicks ...we hit it off and started talking after five min's into the convo 1 of the girls asked if we wanted to fuck!!!! lol i know i couldn't believe it myself it was as if an angel came down and sprinkled pussy juices all over my throbbing cock ..... i was so shocked that they were so strait fwd i pulled my boy to the side and told him "man no homo b*o but this is a one inna life... Continue»
Posted by bardio09 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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