Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 73

A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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close call

I got talking to a woman from work, we arranged to meet up for a drink one saturday night. after just one pint we couldnt wait so we went back to my car and drove off to find somewhere quiet. she couldnt wait for me to stop driving and was touching my growing cock. finally found somewhere to park, just a small gravel run off on a b road. we flattened the seats to give us a bit more room and ripped eachothers clothes off! the risk factor made it so much better! within 5 min she had squirted soaking my car seats! after about 20 min a van pulled up really quick, bright lights shining on the car. ... Continue»
Posted by jamie8422 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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one hot wet night

Driving down a long dusty country road with the tunes blaring, we spend a quiet afternoon. The music is lightening our spirits and I reach over a stroke the inside of your leg. Rubbing it in small circles, up the inside of your thigh and then back down to your knee. I lean over and tell you I love you and am enjoying this time together.

Along the way we find a small secluded grove of ancient oaks, beckoning us to pull up and stop... to commune with nature. You can't fight the f***e that beckons you and pull into the cool green canopy. We get out of the truck and I walk over and take your h... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Goddess Of Fertility

The Goddess of Fertility

I used to work with a guy called Melvin. He was a lovely, happily married man with one
problem in his life. His beloved wife and he were finding it difficult to conceive.

I was I think 25, he'd have been about 40.

They began a programme of IVF at a private BUPA hospital not far from our workplace.

Each of them had to go on there from time to time, for the removal of her eggs, and
of course, for him to provide his "sample" for the procedure.

He used to tell me this in a very matter of fact, jocular fashion. He had to pop out
or take an early lunch a... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Worming, or I like tribbing with my girlfriend

It just occurred to me why I like tribbing. Tribbing, for those of you who don't know, is when two girls do a scissor lock on each others naked pussies. They rub their pussies together, causing pressure and some friction. Their clits make contact and they start to get wet, and then they slip and slide against each others creamy, dewy pulsating pussies. Erotic as hell! I start sneezing whenever I see it!

I'VE tribbed with a girl! Yes sir, I'm a 110% hetero male, but I tribbed with my girl friend way back when the earth was flat and young people felt not pain or knew what it was like ... Continue»
Posted by George178 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Doing it Yoga Style

Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.

He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.

Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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GUY'S PRIZE-WINNING "HANK BURGERS"

GUY’S PRIZE-WINNING “HANK BURGERS”


It wasn’t more than a few days after I met him than I learned that Hank liked to cook. So we sat around in his Arkansas trailer in the hills above Hot Springs, sucking each others’ dicks and watching Food Network.

On a Saturday morning, I was fucking Hank’s ass over the sofa in his trailer, and what comes on over his satellite TV but fucking Rachel Ray! Man, does she have cock-sucking lips- all glossed up and everything. For a minute, Hank and I stopped banging just to look at her. We laughed at each other, both of us experienced enough to recognize a... Continue»
Posted by cigardad4dad 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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truth or dare

I am not sure who suggested truth or dare but we all seemed up for it.

There were 6 of us all together you me and two other couples.
It started pretty tame, truths about hoe many people we had slept with, telling fantasies ect .....
I think everyone was getting a bit horny from listening to all this talk if sex and with quite a few drinks down our necks we were all up for some dare's!
One of the girls seemed a bit apprehensive when you asked her to show how she gives head on a banana so we came to an agreement that we would have teams. Boys against girls.
We all did the dare, i showed ... Continue»
Posted by nicecock23 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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5 Tips to Keep Your Girl Happy

When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.

These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Oil be damned

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body.

As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. A sure sign they are either overbooked or busy. With the idea already set in my mind I quickly towel... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I Demand A Do Over!

This is the story about how I lost my virginity. Some of my f****y live in small towns and we i go to visit them, we party (btw, this story is one the main reasons i don't drink anymore). Here I am, enjoying myself, and then all of a sudden, Bam! There she was. She was hot and to be honest, I didn't think I had a change with her. However, with the help of my cousin, I meet her(totally forgot her name). So, were talking and all off a sudden she wanted to dance. In the middle of the 3rd slow jam, I seemed to have "poked" her. Next thing I know, were upstairs. I remember kissing, and getting suck... Continue»
Posted by JFry 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The walk in park. The real story.

This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Berkeley Coed's Assault

Introduction:
Two Coeds Encounter The Nieghborhood Dog
The Berkeley Coeds Assault


Synopsis: Two Berkeley coeds get assaulted by the neighborhood Rottweiller and discover their own sexuality as a result
51 pages, 20693 words

It was a sunny and already hot late May California weekday afternoon, like many ones before it she had experienced for the past 6 years. The final bell of Sather Tower at University of California, Berkley (UCB) had rung and she was on her way to her house she shared with longtime best friend, Kate. A few of her friends drove by in their Jeep to offer her a ride h... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Slutty Sarah is back !

I didn’t think I’d hear from Sarah the Slut again, after this blog caused her to break up with her boyfriend, but last week she rang me and said she needed someone to talk to. She came over to my place and obviously wanted to talk about something, but couldn’t find a way of starting the subject. I gave her a few drinks and she started to talk. She’d been up to her slutty ways again. She said…..

‘I just have to talk to someone. I must tell someone, I just must. I’ve been so, so bad and I can’t sl**p just thinking about it.

It was a couple of weeks ago. You remember Maria, the Fren... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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