Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 73

A helping hand

Come on, it's 6pm already! He mumbled to himself as a car pulled into the driveway of the shop. Everyone had already gone home and he just needed to finish closing up so he could go home too.

The car was pissing coolant everywhere, "Hey! Your car is leaking all over my driveway!" He said, half jokingly, half annoyed. Sheepishly, she pulled herself out of her car and began apologizing. He gave her the once over to see if she'd be worth the trouble... D, possibly double D, nice shape, a little padding here and there, and a decent ass... I wonder if she realizes that she's popping out the top ... Continue»
Posted by wasntme83 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Vegas Mayhem

When I stepped off the plane in Las Vegas I was met with a cold wind. I never dreamed Vegas would be cold in the winter. It is in the desert it is suppose to be hot. I was dressed for warm weather and so was my girlfriend I will refer to as "Tattoo Girl". She has eight tattoos on various areas of her body and three of them have my name in them. The biggest, on her right shoulder simply says "Marks Girl". (not my real name but close enough) We rushed to a taxi and quickly headed to our hotel. It is getting colder so we buy some hoodies in the Monte Carlo Hotel, gift shop to keep us warm.

In ... Continue»
Posted by alittlebashfull 4 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Can't Remember What Happened

Sally's brain activated before her body. A switch came on inside her head, a rusty and disused one, like forcing an old circuit breaker back up. Must open eyes, she thought, but can't, they're too heavy. She felt her face pressed into the surface as if it had been in that one spot for years. She could feel the dents in her skin, the old pool of dribble at the corner of her mouth. Where was she, she tried to remember. Boom boom, throbbing in her head. Aah, came the quiet moan from her throat, her mouth as dry as sandpaper. What was she doing before this, she tried to remember but thinking was l... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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DIRTY JOKE

A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX HE SAYS I CAN'T I AN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE SAYS I WONT SAY. SO THEY DID. WHEN THEY DONE SHE SAYS U CAN TAK... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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As wingman I had a better night than the dude for

Hey, how many of you have had similar experiences to this - you 'take one for the team' for your friend (guy or gal) and you end up having the far better session than your friend and the so-called better looking date. One occasion is still so vivid in my mind. I think it worked out this way because I would always have marathon hook-ups. 69 or fuck, rest, go again, and sometimes go for round three before the sun would come up. When I've taken one for the team, these women were no exception. In fact, it was more likely I'd cum 2-3 times in those situations.

This time I'm recollecting I was ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 10 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Flashing

Just a quick story about me at work, i work in a well known store and i love to wear my uniform skirt with tiny see through pantys. When i'm stocking shelves or sitting on the tills i make sure that customers get a good view. I've been very wet more than once because it turns me on knowing the view there getting, i even let one hunky guy touch me through my knickers when no one was looking, how risky but he had a massive bulge. My top is also white and see through and i'll often go braless again letting the customers see my boobs and nipples i love it, need to be careful though if i'm caught i... Continue»
Posted by punter22 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Saxophone

A man starts chatting up a girl in a nightclub. He mentions he plays the sax and because of that he's pretty good with his mouth. The girl takes him up on it- he's not bad looking. He mentions his job takes him all over the place so he's staying at the hotel nearby, but when she tries to find out what he does he won't say. They head back to his room and start fucking and having a pretty good time. But just before he starts to climax, he pulls out of her pussy, runs across the room to his sax, plays a couple of chords and shoots his load at her across the room right onto the... Continue»
Posted by Hyle 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening Part 4

Trevor found himself lying half naked in a bush, his shirt was off and his pants were around his ankles.

"How did I get here!" he asked himself.

He looked around at his surroundings and as he picked up his clothes which were strewn across the yard his memory came flooding back.

Several hours earlier...

Trevor had made a huge mess of things. His Spring Break visit was supposed to be a time to reconnect with his f****y but instead he brought a boozed up Bar Fly home for a romp in his Superman sheets.

After a weekend of apologising he had finally set things right with his mother ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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my diary

when i turned legal drinking age i drank a lot. then i got married and didnt really drink for 12yrs. then i got divorced and....well, you can figure the rest out. most of my memories are hazy and i will fill in the gaps using...ahem..."creative license". at the end of each story i will give the facts of what happened as i recall them. so that being said...on with the stories! jules

i was sitting in what i guess you would call a drinkers bar. you know the type. no grill. n... Continue»
Posted by drakken221 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Curse of the gypsy woman - part two

Introduction:
This is the continuing saga of Melissa, a woman who is redescovering her sexuality. Please read part one before you read this one. It will really be to your benefit.
Chapter two

“You seem to have outdone yourself with dinner today,” her husband complimented her as he put his fork through the salad and brought it to his mouth.

Melissa shuddered and felt a tingling between her legs as she watched parts of the cucumber disappear between his lips. If only he knew where that cucumber has been, she thought to herself and pictured how she only an hour ago had been sitting in fro... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 10 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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First with my teacher

Hello buddies it's a true story. Two main characters raj and geetha. raj is a student , studying in high school age 18. Geetha is a teacher in that high school super hot teacher age 28 , married .

Story begin here ,Raj is a good boy , but bad in studies .geetha is a friend of raj's mother.so raj is afraid in periods of geetha . she is a maths teacher , raj had many dreams about geetha . Because she is very beauty some 36-28-36 . a perfect figure . geetha as a soft corner for raj always . she used to boost up his marks .

one day raj went to geetha's house on Sunday to clear some... Continue»
Posted by rocky005 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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One Hot Showertime. (True story)

One day,back in the late 1980's ,Lita not her real name,was running some errands,she finally done, and was heading her way to the bathroom to take her shower.Hanging her towel off the peg.She then remove her dress and undies wet and smelled from the sweat from the morning's work.
Turning the shower on,she got busy with her hair, untying the rubber band been clinging on.She wet her hair first and applied ample amount of shampoo,massaging her hair with the shampoo,she then rinsed it with the running shower beneath her.She bent her body onward to reach for the bath soap,she now applying the soa... Continue»
Posted by constantienab73 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Lesson Learned Pt 2

“On your knees, you d***k bitch,” the cop said. Kelly immediately obeyed. She would never cheat on her husband, but if letting this brute **** her meant she wouldn’t go to jail then it was worth it. He just stood there while she reached up and unzipped his trousers. Kelly tried not to think about what she was doing as she pulled his cock free and slipped it into her mouth.

The officer’s penis was thicker than her husband’s. It tasted of sweat and grime, but Kelly wasn’t in a position to complain. She slobbered over it and began to pump it with her hand as she bobbed her mouth on it. As she... Continue»
Posted by anakin_72 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Moms Secret Chapter TWO

Author's Note: Thanks for the patience. This chapter will contain some i****t elements, though it won't directly involve the son and mother just yet. If you're not comfortable with the idea of i****t, you could either skip some of the paragraphs in this chapter or just go on to read Ch. 03.

For Ch.03, I plan to write the mother's perspective which will briefly cover what happened in these two chapters, as well as other events that happened after - without the i****t.

Ch. 04 will be either the son or the mother WITH i****t. I haven't yet decided. It may depend on what the readers want or ... Continue»
Posted by sassygeorge 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Pt.1.James,s Birthday,(Fun & Frolics)

James,s Big Day,Saturday11th July 2015,06.30am.
My plan was for me to awaken him,Wrong,I was awoken with James,s Cock sliding up & down between my Buns,his left hand wrapped around my Cock & Scrotum,giving me gentle squeezes,he was just about to slip his Cock into me,I pulled his hand away from me & Bailed out of bed.
"No Fucking Way,you got a Busy day,& Happy Birthday James"I said,I ran around to his side of the bed,pinning him down in the bed I gave him a Wet Sloppy Kiss,he wanted me to get back in bed with him,I pulled away from him & headed into our shower room & toilet.
I did my toilet... Continue»
Posted by boy2roy 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Tranny Sex Therapy

All at once, Maria's limp lady stick transformed itself from lifeless shell into
The Incredable s/he Hulk. I had to keep opening my mouth to keep it all in.
Precum started to pour down my lips and chin onto to my bra. That precum was rapidly replaced by genuine girlie man paste.

I would have been laughing but it was like being
water boarded with seamen. I was drowning in hir cum. Holeee SHIT!

********************************************************************************

I swear I should have been a sex ther****t. It would be my mission to make
sure before some transgen... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Picking up a guy

“Ernst, do you like me?” She looked at him with her big blue eyes, her long eye lashes fluttering exaggeratedly.
“Of course. I think you’re great… and beautiful too.”
“But you’ve never made a pass at me?” she said with a hurt expression.
“Everybody thought you were unavailable,” he said.
“Yeah I guess that was true, but now I am… so… are you going to make a pass at me?”
He looked into her earnest blue eyes “Well in that case yes, but I left the instructions in my bag.”
She smiled. “I can save you the time… we can go to my home if you like? My parents are at work.”
“OK, I like that ide... Continue»
Posted by FredNerk 10 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Winter Vacation

(Young couple help their best friend out of depression)

Cathy and Paul had been married for almost five years. They met in college, dated for two years and were married even before they finished school. The first year was tight but when they finally graduated they were both fortunate to land jobs quickly. This helped them to buy a house and move on to living life.

Paul’s friends harassed him about getting married so soon but Cathy is very beautiful and knew he couldn’t let her slip away.

Cathy is 5’5” 126 lbs. and has full firm breasts with nipples that will stick out almost an inch w... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Walking Dead Sex

Your all alone and sacred in the woods. It's been days since you got separated from your group. Your hungry, scared and and being followed by 3 walkers. As you try to run you trip over a fallen tree, you look up and a walker is almost on top of you. You close your eyes and wait for the bite the will turn you into on of them. Just as you have given up hope a gunshot rings out in the quiet forest and the walkers head explodes covering you in zombie filth. You turn to see who save you and there she is. One of the hottest girls you have ever seen. Two more shots ring out and the other walkers drop... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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Omegle Roleplay: Random day at the office

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like roleplay.

You: Its 3pm, you get to your desk and on your computer you get an anonymous message: “You look great in that skirt today!”
Stranger: I'm kinda startled, but, after a second, answer anyway. "Thanks, I guess... Who is this?"
You: I chuckle and respond: "Well that would spoil the fun, if i told you, wouldn't it?"
Stranger: "How do you even know I'm wearing a skirt? I don't have a webcam..." I start feeling a little uncomfortable.
You: "You passed right by me today" (you work in a big office with lots of desks)
S... Continue»
Posted by mayhem13 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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