Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

Top 10 flirting tips

10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!

9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again!

8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.



7. Use props. Never leave home without a pr... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 545  |  
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my new life...part 6

after awhile i fell asl**p....still stuck in my bondage..-----While she slept this is what was happening with her master------i slowley opened the door.i looked around not seeing the slave i loved so much...i went all around the house and...nothing.i went looking for her.i went past the drive way and saw a little drop of water towards the left of the drive way...it was one of her tears...i had the sudden urge to jolt that way,and i did just that. i went about 1/4 of a mile befor i came across drag marks and then tire traks.....oh shit.....she was looking for me..... she didnt run for fr... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 545  |  
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New Years Eve

A Owen and Eve short story

Story tags: M/F, Adultery, consensual,

10 am, December 31st

Eve finishes packing an overnight bag with everything that she needs for the night. Including a surprise for Owen. She had picked up a silky blue coloured teddy with matching thong, along with other fun stuff.

11 am, December 31st

Owen has finished packing an overnight bag for himself, then packs a bag with food, booze and pot, and heads out the door to where he will be house sitting for new years while his wife holds a girls night and told him to find somewhere else to be for the night.

... Continue»
Posted by drizzcat 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 544  |  
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BigBimbo's Memoire #1: First Blowjob

A young man's (In retrospect, I was more boy than man) first sexual experience with a woman is a powerful, powerful thing. It completely changes your self-perception, it answers so many of the questions from your post-sexualization youth and changes you from an innocent hopeful into hunter that will never stop his pursuit. Here is a recount of my coming of age tale:

My first real girlfriend and I met because she was one of the trainers for the football team. Her daddy was extremely wealthy, her mother was bipolar and on lots of meds and, as a result, she was very screwed up. I was obliviou... Continue»
Posted by bigbimbo 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 544  |  
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Theatrical....15

Theatrical…….15
when I got home I dragged her to one side and told her of the plan, she went into a tizzy, “but I’ve nothing to wear” she protested, “ok, I’ll cancel your ticket, there will just be the two of us” I said, she jumped, “no, I didn’t mean that” she said, I showed her what I had got for her and she nodded appreciatively,
I had decided to wear the white lace bra that I wore for the wedding, I felt really good in that and it showed off my assets a treat, it also allowed me to wear a low v necked blouse that showed off my inner curves of my breasts, I dropped the bombshell at din... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 544  |  
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The naughty neighbor affair.... story i wrote ...

The Naughty neighbor affair...

The apartment was all quiet ,I was home all alone for the day.. I was wandering what
I could do to keep my self entertained? Hmmm I thought "Booty call" I decided
to text my neighbor since he was off work and see if he was tied up with the wife
or see if he had some free time for some fun... fingers crossed.. he was was free
and he could stop by ... my body began to tingle with anticipating his reply ,
than my phone buzzed and he said yeah he was free he stop by after lunch
which certainly put a smile on my face, so I went up and ... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 544  |  
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the connection

i have been exposed to sex for the better part of sixteen years...from the first time i ever had an erection i knew i enjoyed it, the sneaking around, having to hide this enjoyment, in essence i discovered in hiding this enjoyment i essentially made it my own...something that i could have to myself (like thinking to yourself, but physically) for years i kept this ritual to myself and thought i could maintain this escape for a long time

but the night i lost my virginity i lost that to which i could keep...

that night was...unique a story all to its own

but regardless the outcome was gr... Continue»
Posted by gsriw 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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STILL FUCKED OVER ONCE AGAIN AND THEN SOME

You know you have faith in someone to only find out how really sick they are.....who in their right mind would find pregnant women appealing? Especially when you have a slim good looking thing at home? Who in their right mind would go to a motel for what i call a pornathon? Damm your hand really needs to be sore maybe that is why u have more muscles on the right than the left. And interested in chicks with dicks? Just wrong......I love sex and think it is the most erotic thing.....not with this dirbag though...hummm nice anything man but this one..........gosh he would be tired lol.......... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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Flaunting It At the Frat Party

Flaunting It At the Frat Party


The name is Tolden. James Tolden. There are three things you need to know about me.....
One:
I am tall. My towering height of 6’9” made me a natural for basketball, and my talent made me a star.
Two:
I am hung like a Bull Elephant. The same early growth spurts which gave me height, also added copious inches to my manhood, which was well-sized to begin with.
Three:
I am not above humiliating a lesser man. I’ve done it lots of times. This was the first.
I had been invited to my first Frat party my freshman year of ... Continue»
Posted by jkd1111 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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Slutty Sarah, the sex-tape and 2 Sanish guys

So, Chris, Sarah’s new boyfriend, did you ask her about that sex-tape that I made with her. No? Or just wouldn’t she discuss it with you. I know that you hate all these stories about her, but it’s only fair to let the world know what a slutty exhibitionist, isn’t it. I’ve sent you links to all the stories of her on here and I’ve heard you are pretty angry about that. Well, too bad.

So, Sarah, on our last holiday, had talked about making a sex-tape. She didn’t mention anything about it for months, not until our next holiday. She was always more sexy and responsive to things when she was rel... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 11 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 541  |  
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Private Party

A couple sneak upstairs during a party.

“Hi James,” you say cheerily when you find me sitting alone on the middle landing of the stairs.

“Hi Megan,” I answer from where I sit leaning against the wall. “Get too noisy for you in there as well?”

“Yeah,” you reply, glancing back downstairs to where the noise of the party echoes from. “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

I start to move aside, to make room for you to sit beside me, but you say “It’s okay, I’ll just sit in here,” and lower yourself to sit between my legs with your back leaning against my chest.

I put my arms around ... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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Theatrical....26

Theatrical……. 26

I woke the next morning about 8.30, I blinked, Del was still asl**p in front of me and I glanced over her, the bed was empty, had he gone back to her, was he satisfying her lust again, I slipped out of bed and put on my gown, then I went into the lounge, Gerald was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of him and some empty cups laid on it, the bedroom doors were all open and no sign of anyone, “where are they all?” I asked, “they’ve gone he said looking up at me,
I sat down opposite to him watching him, “gone where?” I persisted, “Samuel has taken them to the ai... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 540

Walking Dead Sex

There are no words between you and Beth. She is still on top of you and you are staring into each other's eyes. You want this moment never to end, but Maggie will not let that happen.
"Ok Beth, get off that pig and let's get you cleaned up." Beth looks at Maggie then back at you.
"That's right... You are a pig." Beth says as she reaches down and playfully tweaks your nipple. Then she bends over and gives you one more kiss. Then she goes upstairs with Maggie and the girls and leaves you alone.
As you get off the table you forgot how sore your ass is but even that couldn't stop you from sm... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 18 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 541  |  
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OAP Oral sex

Two old age pensioners are enjoying oral sex together... but after a few minutes, the old guy says, "I can't stay down here much longer, it stinks!"

The old lady says, " I'm sorry, it's my arthritis playing up again."

The old guy replies, " You've got arthritis in your cunt?"

"No" says the old lady, "the arthritis is in my arm, it means I can't wipe my arse!"... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 538  |  
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highschool party hookup

she took me by the hand and lead me upstairs, her hips swinging so sensually. every flirty step she takes swings her miniskirt bouncing and swaying back and forth just enough for me to peak under and see the curvy bottom of her ass just where it meets the top of her thigh. it was mesmerizing. watching her ass bounce just inches from my face, that lacy thong rubbing between her legs as she steps up left then right then left then right again. her skin felt so soft as i ran my fingers up and down her legs while we were dancing earlier. i wanted to feel her again. i reached up with my free ha... Continue»
Posted by cuschnei616 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 539  |  
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The Patient

Dana fidgeted nervously on the couch while Dr. Wallace studied the patient history form that she had filled out an hour earlier. "I see that you've been married for about three years now, is that right?" the doctor asked casually. "Uh, yes," she replied. "It was three years last month. And everything was pretty much all right between you and your husband until you had the baby?" "Yes, we had a wonderful marriage," she answered softly. "But now............." "What do you think went wrong?" the doctor asked. "Is there anything specific or just a general malaise in you relationship?" "... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 536  |  
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Rise & Shine, sl**pyhead!

(She wakes up from erotic dream to find it's reality)

I was sl**ping, and I had a dream. A nice, silly dream about Joey and me. We were walking over a meadow, eating wild raspberries off a bush, and talking about going abroad for our next vacation. The day was warm and sunny, and we were far away from sneaking eyes. We laid down in the grass and started to kiss. I put my arms around Joey and he rolled on top of me. He caressed me and nibbled on my earlobes. I made a happy sound.

My clothes must have melted away, because suddenly I was naked, and Joey parted my legs and entered me. I open... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 536  |  
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Preplanned (Rap)ing Drama

It was an unwanted occurrence for me, about which I have never even imagined. The incident occurred most recently and I was totally unready for facing such type of situation. Though the whole situation was pre-planned and just a drama, nothing else. The heroin of this drama was my house owner’s middle aged wife Sulekha Bhabi. I have rented this apartment in March 2010, my flat is at the ground floor. From the very beginning when I first met Sulekha Bhabi, I attracted to her liquid eyed lusty sight. When she stares at my eyes, I seemed she can see the bottom of my mind. I also think that she is... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 536  |  
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24

Ever hear that old rap song “It was a Good Day” by Ice Cube?

The song refers to that one inevitable day that every one has where everything goes “right”, you can’t make a mistake and you have the luck of the Irish.

Well, I recently had one of those days. It was probably one of the greatest days in my life.

For a little background on me (to put things in perspective) … I live and work in San Francisco. It’s a great city, but I have what is deemed bad karma. My friends tease me by calling me “Peter Parker” because I’m a little bit klutzy and always have some trouble with the ladies.
... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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Fucking Supergirl Dream lol

Ever wake up to finding yourself masturbating and fantasizing about some type of sex. lol well for me it happened during the night. i found myself lying in bed rubbing and stroking my rock hard cock and dreaming about Supergirl from DC comics or at least this woman was wearing an outfit like supergirl all i know is i pulled of her blue top with the superman logo on it revealing her big tits as she sucked my cock in my fantasy. and then pulled off her skirt and gave her a hell of a good fuck doggystyle. clearly it must just been roleplaying cause if it was really supergirl shed probably had rip... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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