Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

Missing Mom Becomes a Prostitute





It happened when I was 13 yrs old, me and my mom are all alone,,, no relatives no one to support us. Mom used to search for employment and I used to help her out in all kinds of work. What I came to know when I became older was that my mom in her college days was a beauty and had so many guys around her trying for a chance to experience her body which was 37-26-38, 5’5’’ tall whitish complexion more she looks like vijayashanti in telugu movies. She fell in love
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 574  |  
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Party House

Years ago there was a fun party house my friends and I use to hang out at. A mutual older friend owned the place. It was a drafty old farmhouse secluded in an urban area. Almost every night someone would buy a keg of beer and people would just seem to show up. It was a great time in my life I was young and carefree now I miss those days.

I first met Dave at the party house and at first glance I found him rather unappealing. He was just an average looking guy, with not a lot to offer. I barely acknowledged his presents at the parties most of the time. He is kind of a bulky built guy wi... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 566  |  
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Oh, to be young again

A man walks into a d**g store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men
use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks,
"Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pac... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 564  |  
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Ghostfinger-----totally non-porn, but funny as hel

This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.

It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
Posted by joewaterford 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 564  |  
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White couple sharing a black cock

.

At this particular time in my life, I was 42 years old
and thinking of the possibility of actually
experiencing a young black man, and I had one in mind. He
recently started to work at the same place I was
employed. He needed money to start his college education
and had accepted a position in the stock room. We
seemed to hit it off from the start. He was a nice
looking young black guy with light brown skin.

I could see that he admired my 5 ft 2 inch, 120 lb
body, as his eyes would wander up and down my body. I
really liked to be admired by any man but to be admired
... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 9 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  Views: 564  |  
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Oil be damned!

(Based on fact but mostly fiction. Hope you enjoy.)

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body. As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. When that happens it usually means they are busy... Continue»
Posted by Bulletin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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shaving my arse




Guest


Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS



STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Posted by chairmanmoo 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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i love myspace

ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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SUNBURNED IN SAN DIEGO

Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:

"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?

Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Get Your Man Into Eating Your Pussy


A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,

1. Initiate Sex:

Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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crazed and aimlessly wanting

it all starts in the morning. i wake up and i need it bad. i manage to make it to work on time. it take so much will power to do anything. it's more like ignoring how much my body wants it. i day dream about writing. but i do want to make a connection. i hope someone picks this up. i'm trying to make you see, be here with me. naked on my chair. i want it to be real for you. i'm hard, on and off. my asshole is so aroused from the cold wood chair. my arm pits are a little sweaty. i like writing about my biggest turn ons. in great detail. but maybe you want to hear something real? there's plenty ... Continue»
Posted by wolfbuddah 5 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 562  |  
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European Closeness

-------- European Closeness --------

I met an older but very attractive woman, Tascha, at a local shopping center. Her middle European accent, exotic looks, and damned good figure and legs caught my attention, and I did my very best big strong young soldier act on her, helping to reach an item on a top shelf for her. I pulled the old gag about being an ignorant bachelor, not knowing what to select for supper. Smiling, she joined me in shopping and helped me fill my cart, making suggestions for easy to fix, tasty, good meals. We found ourselves getting along very well, and she invited me... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 561  |  
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Boatscrew

Boatscrew
So we up anchored or at least unstrung the thing from the pontoon and with the diesel throbbing, off we set. Now me I ain`t no sailor, so this was to be a hit and miss affair, health and safety would have a kitten if they knew. Mandy and I had won the lottery and on an impulse had bought a cruiser, yes I know, daft wasn`t it. Anyway, we needed to get the thing home and my persuasive misses, Mandy, had convinced me that midsummer, flat sea and it would be a breeze to get back to Essex, from Brighton if we took a can or two of fuel and our road map, kept the coast in sight and wandere... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 561  |  
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sex party

This was to be my first time at the 'party' I didn't know exactly what was involved but I knew it was a privalige to be invited. I had provided a certificate from the clinic to say that I was free of sexual diseases and another to show that I was using birth control. Finally I had signed an agreement, although I wasnt sure what I was agreeing to as I wasn't alowed to read it.
So now I stood nervously before the table. Three people faced me, two men and in the middle a woman I didn't know. She spoke
"As we have a new member there will be only one name in the bowl... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 559  |  
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Alien in town / there really are Orions

In my younger days, I was a decent amateur photographer. Once, when a friend got married she asked me to take her pictures. I agreed to do them for free if she bought the film. Neither f****y had much money and she readily agreed. Her future spouse came from a f****y where both mother and father had c***dren by previous marriages as well as some together. Except for the future groom, all were girls and all from 16 years old and up.Again, to save money, the mothers bought material and started sewing the dresses for the bridesmaids, most of whom were the groom's s****rs. They chose a bright for... Continue»
Posted by sometimesbored 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 558  |  
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From Tony to Tonya part 2

Tony woke up on Saturday morning feeling excited without knowing exactly why. He tried to sit up, but his left arm was pinned down by Sarah's body. This was normal for a Saturday morning, since she tended to sl**p at Tony's house on Fridays.

The reason he was excited suddenly hit him. On Tuesday, Sarah had told him they were going shopping today. This had been right after a great fucking-session in which Tony had been dressed in Sarah's old school uniform and she'd fucked him with a strap-on dildo. It had been a very kinky evening.

Very carefully and gently, Tony extracted his arm from u... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 month ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 558  |  
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Everybody has a story

So I think everybody has a hot story to tell but most dont want to go through the bother of writting it out in great detail. So what I propose is this - in no more than 5 sentences share your most horny, most shocking sex story as a comment below. Gay, straight, young, old, something you done or something you seen, your best time, your first time, friends, f****y or strangers - share your story and make someone horny!!!... Continue»
Posted by codie2010 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 557  |  
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SHAN6969 ROADSIDE PAYBACK

I love Venice Beach,CA. When ever I have a couple of bucks to blow I will take turns vacationing either there
or Vegas (they're both pretty close to Phoenix). Shan6969, my ex and now periodical fuckbuddy, digs Venice
as well. I can't count how many times we visited there when we were an "item". Shan6969 lives back east and
always comes in town unexpected ready to fuck. This time was no different. Her call woke me up Friday at 1:22 a.m.
BOIDYNHO:(sl**pily) "Hello?"
SHAN6969: "Wake up you big black dicked mother fucker!.....Mama's in town"
BOIDYNHO: "Oh dear gawd...what th"
SHAN6969:"... Continue»
Posted by BOIDYNHO 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 557  |  
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Red Lace Panties


Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror.

Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel.

I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face.

Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 557  |  
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The bridge thing

It is a very warm summerday and we are go hiking. Walking behind the house up the mountain and the sun is burning on our skins. We walk along the paths and between the trees. After 2 hours we pass a house and move on after half an hour we arrive at a canyon. For our luck there is a plank bridge so we can go over the canyon. But when we arrive at half the bridge we stop and enjoy the good few from the mountain into the vale. You stand there and I was behind you. Feeling a little like having fun I grab your one hand with mine and bound you on one of the ropes of the bridge. With the other I grab... Continue»
Posted by John9090 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 556  |  
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