Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

turning the tables on dad

Turning the tables on dad
Growing up all I ever heard was, "As long as you live under my roof you'll do as I say, young man!" Yeah my Father was very strict. Up until the time I moved out of his house, at age 22, I had to toe the line or accept the punishment. Punishment was always the same. Dad would make me strip to my briefs with my hands at my sides as he lectured me. Then I'd have to lie across his lap and take some hard swats on my brief covered ass. Eventually he'd pull down my briefs exposing my round bare ass completely. He'd then go to work spanking my bare butt--usually until he br... Continue»
Posted by doctor27 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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MY BOSS KUSUM

This is a incident which happened two years back when I joined a new firm.the story is about my boss mrs kusum chaddha.after and before this incident I had lesbian sex with many women who were younger than me.in college I did lesbian sex with girls but this was the best and most memorable was with mrs kusum chaddha who is older than me.By her experience and perfection she gave me lovely orgasm.she was the best.I was new in firm I was not much familiar to her as she was from different department.she was in her mid-forties,busty lady,5,10 tall,fair,good looking figure 40-32-38.she was a mother o... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 3 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Good & Bad Fucking Lessons From Porn Movies

In addition to its ability to cheer you up in times of need, porn has some useful lessons to impart to its viewers. On the other hand, some of these are hideous faux pas that every man should avoid like the plague -- or gonorrhea, for that matter. Then there are the great lessons porn has to offer us all.

Pornography is generally a healthy staple of any man’s life, but beware: Not all porn is helpful to your sex life. Watching porn with your girlfriend can be a great way to learn about each other and have a laugh. Although you'll probably learn most lessons on your own, if you're lucky, yo... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Jane

June 1977:

It is probably plainly obvious this is 100% true, but just in case:

" The following is 100% true"




I used to work on Broad Street in Birmingham, in a building that is now a Travel Lodge. It was mostly
drinking, sl**ping and shagging that went on there, when it was our office, so it was probably a logical step.

Over the road was a pub, named at various timed the Granville and The Westward Ho, but it is now O'Neills.
This was the place that the staff drank at lunchtimes, and after work.

If you knew the manager it meant you could stay all afternoon, when t... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Changing Room - Strange Relationship Version X

Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 6 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Joke for today

WY

An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.

The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?

The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WE... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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squirting

Omg Iv only had sex with one guy as was with the same guy for four years and he never once made me orgasm.. I thought maybe it was me that i wasnt as sensitive down there as other girls or something..anyway I know now that he just wasnt doing it for me because last night I had a really naughty cam session with a guy from manchester..he was really fit and in great shape especially for his age(59)
He said he had a thing for school girls so i put on an old school uni that fit me when i was 14 but makes a great slutty outfit now. the skirt barely covers my bum as i always wore it short anyhow.
a... Continue»
Posted by 4dlaf 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Night I Almost lost my virginity

This is a true story, one that I often think about and wish I wasn't such a nice guy! DX

So a brief bit of background: During my 2nd year of university I met a girl (Leanne) at a party, I'm not a drinker and I'm not really a party goer kinda guy, but I went to this one after another friend said itd be fun. Anyway I actually became quite good friends with this girl, not in a romantic way but in a genuine I like hanging out with this person kinda way. She quickly became one of my closest and trusted friends who I was always happy to help!

She then later started dating my oldest friend a... Continue»
Posted by bobca 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Funny Tag team orgy

When i was 18 i had my first orgy ...it was me, my boy, this girl i had just met, and her friend. It all started at cici's (pizza buffet) me and my boy had walked in to grab a bite when we came across two big booty chicks ...we hit it off and started talking after five min's into the convo 1 of the girls asked if we wanted to fuck!!!! lol i know i couldn't believe it myself it was as if an angel came down and sprinkled pussy juices all over my throbbing cock ..... i was so shocked that they were so strait fwd i pulled my boy to the side and told him "man no homo b*o but this is a one inna life... Continue»
Posted by bardio09 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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cuckold 102

After chatting with someone online one night, the recommended me check out this site. All I can say is I love it, brings back so many memories of great times.
I may have a number of episodes of things involving my 1st wife over the years we were married. But, I guess I need to start off at the beginning. These things took place many years ago, when sex health concerns were different. Plus we lived in a small town, AIDs was not an issue at the time, and other STDs were not common there either. Needless to say, she much preferred bareback and receiving semen internally.

So, my story starts... Continue»
Posted by ltbgman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 4: The Challenge

Derek has challenged my manhood and his Ultimatum was this. I was to make sweet love to his deeply devoted Cheerleader girlfriend by the end of the school day which was already over. As I jogged up the steps a thought occurred to me. The women I've slept with so far have seen single or desperate. Mrs. Macy was sexually frustrated because her husband was away, Nadia was living under the yolk of her traditional Grandfather and Natalie...well it's hard to meet someone of substance when you take your clothes off for a living.

Without thinking I burst into the main entrance and narrowly missed a... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Awesome Threesome With Rickshawala



Hi, this is Lalita again and I’m 19years old. I’ve dated only 3 guys in my life and had sex with one. I love having physical relationships. I’m 5 foot 5 in, slim, and my stats are 36-28-36. I have fairly big boobs and I love having them admired from men. This is my second story and I’m happy that you liked my first one “Boob pressed by rickshawala.” so here it goes…

So, it had been three weeks but still the memory was fresh as new in my head. It went on and on like a tape in my mind making me horny every time. Though, it was
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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School Girl Bullies pt. 2


I awoke to the annoying loud sound of my alarm going off.

I turned it off and laid in my bed for a few moments contemplating the day ahead. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm very likely to run into those cruel girls from yesterday again, and a big grin crept across my face.

I jumped out of bed, bounced around getting dressed putting on my silly uniform, ran down the hall to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my messy bedhead hair.

"Have a nice day!" I cheerily told my reflection in the mirror, and hopped off down the stairs and rushed out the door. I was so excited, for the f... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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A helping hand

Come on, it's 6pm already! He mumbled to himself as a car pulled into the driveway of the shop. Everyone had already gone home and he just needed to finish closing up so he could go home too.

The car was pissing coolant everywhere, "Hey! Your car is leaking all over my driveway!" He said, half jokingly, half annoyed. Sheepishly, she pulled herself out of her car and began apologizing. He gave her the once over to see if she'd be worth the trouble... D, possibly double D, nice shape, a little padding here and there, and a decent ass... I wonder if she realizes that she's popping out the top ... Continue»
Posted by wasntme83 9 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Vegas Mayhem

When I stepped off the plane in Las Vegas I was met with a cold wind. I never dreamed Vegas would be cold in the winter. It is in the desert it is suppose to be hot. I was dressed for warm weather and so was my girlfriend I will refer to as "Tattoo Girl". She has eight tattoos on various areas of her body and three of them have my name in them. The biggest, on her right shoulder simply says "Marks Girl". (not my real name but close enough) We rushed to a taxi and quickly headed to our hotel. It is getting colder so we buy some hoodies in the Monte Carlo Hotel, gift shop to keep us warm.

In ... Continue»
Posted by alittlebashfull 3 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Can't Remember What Happened

Sally's brain activated before her body. A switch came on inside her head, a rusty and disused one, like forcing an old circuit breaker back up. Must open eyes, she thought, but can't, they're too heavy. She felt her face pressed into the surface as if it had been in that one spot for years. She could feel the dents in her skin, the old pool of dribble at the corner of her mouth. Where was she, she tried to remember. Boom boom, throbbing in her head. Aah, came the quiet moan from her throat, her mouth as dry as sandpaper. What was she doing before this, she tried to remember but thinking was l... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Moms Secret Chapter TWO

Author's Note: Thanks for the patience. This chapter will contain some i****t elements, though it won't directly involve the son and mother just yet. If you're not comfortable with the idea of i****t, you could either skip some of the paragraphs in this chapter or just go on to read Ch. 03.

For Ch.03, I plan to write the mother's perspective which will briefly cover what happened in these two chapters, as well as other events that happened after - without the i****t.

Ch. 04 will be either the son or the mother WITH i****t. I haven't yet decided. It may depend on what the readers want or ... Continue»
Posted by sassygeorge 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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DIRTY JOKE

A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX HE SAYS I CAN'T I AN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE SAYS I WONT SAY. SO THEY DID. WHEN THEY DONE SHE SAYS U CAN TAK... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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How To Have Sex With a Friend

Seriously, who hasn’t met a friend who’s sexy and all that?

And how many of us haven’t wondered how to have sex with a friend?

It feels so good to be bad. It feels even better to cross that boundary and play dirty, doesn’t it?

Life in the fast lane couldn’t get any faster in these days of fast love and raging hormones. It’s hard to get over the blues of being single especially when everyone around is either madly in love, or physically in love.

If lovers can do it, why not friends? After all, friends do share everything lovers share, other than physical intimacy.

Sex with a frie... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Saxophone

A man starts chatting up a girl in a nightclub. He mentions he plays the sax and because of that he's pretty good with his mouth. The girl takes him up on it- he's not bad looking. He mentions his job takes him all over the place so he's staying at the hotel nearby, but when she tries to find out what he does he won't say. They head back to his room and start fucking and having a pretty good time. But just before he starts to climax, he pulls out of her pussy, runs across the room to his sax, plays a couple of chords and shoots his load at her across the room right onto the... Continue»
Posted by Hyle 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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