Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

An unexpected erotic high heel moment.

The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.

I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Homebrew

On the Friday of Faye's third week of absence from the lab, our boss sent me round to check on her. There's only so long you can play the "bit of a bug" card before it becomes taking the piss.

When I rang her bell and waited, I didn't think she was going to answer. It even crossed my mind that she might have bagged a sneaky last-minute flight to somewhere decidedly warmer than dreary old Scotland and had been phoning in her "still not better, I'm afraids" from a poolside somewhere gloriously hot. If I hadn't already been pissed off at her for making me cover her workload, that thought pushe... Continue»
Posted by Kinnie 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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What a woman really wants....

Men always wonder what woman want. Well I can tell you what this woman wants. It's three simple things....

1.Being told they are beautiful even if in their eyes they don't see it...someday they might. Even if she insists she's not she is just trying to take away years of hearing negative things and doesn't know how to take the good complaiment.

2. They like the know they needed and in return know they are appreciated and not just a warm piece of meat next to you at night or middle of day.

3. Every once in a while woman like for men to do something out of their comfort zone. Send her f... Continue»
Posted by dragonsbell 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Paradise Island: Part 1

29, Single white male seeks similar age female with good looks and vibrant personality. I’m getting tired of writing that on internet dating sites. I started this journal to release my inner thoughts on paper but so far I've only confirmed my sexual inadequacies and personal hang ups. I’m creeping ever closer to 30 and I’m yet to find ’The one’ I've had 3 relationships in the past 10 years and had sex about as many times. I’m beginning to realise life isn't like the movies.
I've read plenty of erotic stories on the internet and seen even more Porn films. I should be an expert at this stuff... Continue»
Posted by Skats 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Dirty Japanese SLANG

Dirty Japanese

__BASICS / MISCELLANEOUS

Etchi.
Gross.


Chikan.
Pervert / m*****or.


Unko.
Unchi.
Kuso.
Shit.


Unching style.
Squatting, as in taking a shit.


Noguso.
Field shit, squatting position.


Shonben.
Piss.


Tachi shon.
Take a leak (standing).


Oshikko.
Urination.


Shishi.
Take a pee.


Eroi.
Obscene.


Tsureshon.
Cross pissing; two guys go to the bathroom together.


Tachishon shiteru.
Take a piss / Take a whiz.


Gehin.
Low class / V... Continue»
Posted by LeeHann 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy Sadie

My senior year of high school was filled with college apps, schoolwork, and spending most of my time hanging out with my friends, especially since we all would be going our separate ways when we went off on our separate ways to college. One day during lunch, my best friend Anthony invited all of us to the annual Halloween party his parents threw. The previous two years, I had been busy so I was often unable to go. However, this year I really wanted to go and get a chance to spend time with Anthony and my other friends. Plus, the good thing was I didn't have to dress up or look stupid or a... Continue»
Posted by tommytrojan 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Taking Care of My Grannies Part III


Well, I have told you about two of my four Grannies, so it’s time to reminisce about Granny number three, Joan, a well built, sassy redhead from Chicago. She was somewhat stocky but made up for it with the nicest set of large boobs I have ever seen on a granny. They still had plenty of lift and always wore low cut tops; her cleavage poured out of her bra. Now being a big city girl she knew the score when it came to a guy like me. She knew I was fucking other women. I would call her looking for a date and she would ask “who did you fuck last night” I jokingly responded “it doesn’t matter, who... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Me and My Bestfriend Jake

This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.

My friend and as a lover:


It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Posted by dianneforbes16 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening: Part 2

Trevor opened his eyes as the first rays of the Morning sun streamed through the open blinds.

"Did that really happen?" he asked himself. A quick glance at the bed next to him revealed Brad's lady friend Mandy, nude lying facedown in the bed. Trevor placed his hand on the small of her back and as he felt the warmth of her soft skin the events of the previous night came flooding back.

He noted that she couldn't have been less interested in him, and that it wasn't until he removed his glasses and looked at her with his naked eyes that she became sexually aroused. Perhaps the Crystallized... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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RELATOS GAY Y VIDEOS GAYS

Relatos Eroticos Gays
Contactos Gays
SUEÑOS HUMEDOS
(12476 lecturas - 3 comentarios)
Publicado por dany6969 el 13 de Dic, 2012


En la despedida de soltero del novio de mi hermana yo tenia 14 años.

Cuando mi hermana y su novio se comprometieron en matrimonio, en casa no se hablama mas que de la boda por todos lados lo unico que escuchaba era de los preparativos y no me quedaba de otra que estar siempre en medio de todo escuchando lo que se decia.

Cuando llegaron las amigas de mi hermana las vi que todas se fueron al cuarto a reunirse y yo las segui para escuchar lo que hablaban de... Continue»
Posted by angelsexual01 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Husband watches

Jools sat astride him. He didn't know where to look. She was so beautiful. So naughty. She wore flawless make-up. Her eyes smokey with shadow. Seductive. Her lips were a shiny gloss. She wore a red and black corset. One nipple slipping into view as she leant forward and kissed him. Between his naked thighs, his cock twitched against her fishnet stocking clad leg.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard," whispered Jools, her voice a hot whisper in his ear. She nuzzled his neck. Took one of his hands and placed it between her thighs. Under her palm his fingers rubbed at the sheer panties a... Continue»
Posted by bumfelt 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My first BBW

The 1st time I had sex with a BBW I was 17. I had sex before that but never with a big girl before but I had seen some BBW porn before and I did like it.

The girl wanted me for months (she had told me afterwards).She was latina, probably about 5'7, and weighed somewhere from 180-200lbs if I had to guess. We would go to the park and she would always bring liquor and we'd share stories of sex. I remember the 1st time I wanted to fuck her she had these tights on that made the outline of her ass and thighs look so plump, so delicious. I tried so hard to hide my dick as it was getting hard.

F... Continue»
Posted by BangxNiggax27 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  
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The Party

I did not write this, just enjoy.



"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settle then," Brenda said happily, ... Continue»
Posted by snake_500011 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Unplanned Ultimate Sex With Swati



This story is about Swati (name changed for obvious reasons) and me. It all started when I was in std 12(2005). It was winter time and all schools were closed for Christmas. After scoring high grades in 10th, I moved to the capital city and was staying in a PG. My father’s ex colleague and his wife were my LG and were the only people I knew in the city. It was f****y of 4 : Husband, wife, daughter Swati(23 yrs) and son sanju (20). Lemme tell you about Sonam. She
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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She Got to be a Cake

"I'd love to french kiss you," she said.

"Oh?" he teased.

She replied insistingly, " I'm going to French kiss you, put my lips on yours, part my lips, then push my tongue through my lips and into your mouth, swish it around in a little mating dance to attract the attention of your tongue, and then do the most French of all kisses."

"I can do the Belgian kiss, which is similar because they speak French there, and at the end we spit out a waffle. Also, it might take a little more to seduce my tongue then you might think. You know, I served as a Lieutenant in the Merchant Marines, and... Continue»
Posted by palbatross 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Christmas Holly

It was early Christmas morning; actually it was 1:30am, when Holly awoke and heard and rustle, she couldn`t place where it was coming from. Suddenly she spotted a figure emerge from around the bedroom door. She knew it wasn’t Luke as he had his firm cock nestled along the crack of her bum cheeks; Holly could tell Luke was dreaming of one of the video`s they had watched on xhamster last night.

Suddenly the figure approached the edge of the bed and you Holly saw that it was Flasher974 Santa; he was dressed in a full Father Christmas outfit with hat, beard, coat and red trousers and black sh... Continue»
Posted by flasher974 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The XXX Olympiad

The XXX Olympiad

"And welcome to Day Two of the round-up show of the Olympiad here in
London," a smart suited gentleman said to the camera in a clear voice with
a cheesy smirk. "And what a programme we have lined up for you today. It's
been thrills, excitement and plenty of action."

His co-host, a beautiful young lady with bouncing brunette hair and an
infectious smile nodded. "There's some great events coming up," she agreed
and the host leant back on the red sofa.

"First a look at the medal table." A screen popped up next to the autocue
and he turned to his co-host. "So Br... Continue»
Posted by johndstories 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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THE TRUTH ABOUTEATING PUSSY LADIES

I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke... Continue»
Posted by swat_tx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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--

This is the story of my first sexual experience with another female. I was 27 married for six years. We had a great sex life at first. We had sex several times a week. As time went by our sex life diminished in quality and quantity. My husband Dave began spending more time with the guys than me. He went out with the guys and I got to stay home with our daughter Arielle.

One Friday night when Dave was out playing cards with the guys, I put Arielle to sl**p and went online. Out of a combination of being bored, horny and curious I went into a chat room labeled F4F. When word got out in the roo... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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