Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

Going Fishin'

Introduction: A tale with a twist

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go but, what can they do...

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man! How long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The night bef... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Picking up a guy

“Ernst, do you like me?” She looked at him with her big blue eyes, her long eye lashes fluttering exaggeratedly.
“Of course. I think you’re great… and beautiful too.”
“But you’ve never made a pass at me?” she said with a hurt expression.
“Everybody thought you were unavailable,” he said.
“Yeah I guess that was true, but now I am… so… are you going to make a pass at me?”
He looked into her earnest blue eyes “Well in that case yes, but I left the instructions in my bag.”
She smiled. “I can save you the time… we can go to my home if you like? My parents are at work.”
“OK, I like that ide... Continue»
Posted by FredNerk 1 month ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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I finally bought a pack of Magnums

I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My True Thing!

My first Blowjob was with 45+ aged man and its was f***eful against my wish. That was first time I touched PENIS and after that incident was feeling so sinful, which made me to watch PORN in my free time and been to xHamster.

After being here got a desire to catch thick white man's penis, so was searching for safe man locally and got one Australian in FaceBook, who use to stay in India working as Network engineer. He dint knew that I was 18 and used to send lots of erected penis snaps to me, and its was really thick white one.

A day... Continue»
Posted by indianbee 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Who is she #1

Here we go.
I met a girl long ago she was engaged to another man, i had an intimate moments with her on a school trip I was a senior, we didnt go to the same school.
She called told me she was pregnant and I basically told her it wasnt mines and good luck. She was dismissed. Call me a jerk but she was engaged ( why was she calling me) her privates wasnt even tight for her to claim she was pure.
Years passed I tried calling to check on her, she married and moved. Good for her.

NY holiday season its busy, the lights are bright, ppl are shopping, ppl are working, the smell of tar, roasted... Continue»
Posted by 6775young 9 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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the bus stops here

I remember one nite i went to go meet a guy off the chat line and i got lost so i stopped to use the pay phone . while getting directions from him a bus on the other side of the street stopped and was waveing me over . so once i hung the phone up i went across the street and got on the bus,it was nite time , he just pulled his dick out while standing up and i went to my knees and sucked his dick off. this was the second bus driver i had sex with. the other one fucked me on the back of the bus in the parking lot of the mall. i went on to suck the guys dick off the partyline. it was good... Continue»
Posted by DEE-LICIOUSxxx 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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suck that cock bitch

My x wife and I had been wanting to explore our sexual boundries after our encounter with her friend camille! I said I tell you what, since camille was here last week I will call wess and we can both fuck your pussy tonite you know what I want daddy? I said what baby? she said well you know you are his idol and he will do anything you ask him to rt?I said I guess she said I want you to fuck his mouth and then fuck his ass while he fucks me,I said put on ur school girl skirt and top and get ready for us! She said I'm gonna turn on the cameras in here yes I said do that I told her when he gets h... Continue»
Posted by jwmax420 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Mule Balls






An American couple on vacation with some friends in Mexico were
shopping at the market to bring back a few souvenirs to their f****y
and friends. Time passed, and the couple realized that neither of them
was wearing a watch. They noticed this little Mexican man taking a
siesta next to this mule, which had the largest set of mule nuts they
had ever seen.
Trying not to stare at the huge mule nuts, they asked the little
Mexican man, "Excuse us, but could you tell us what time it is?"
The little Mexican man reached his hand under the enormous set of mule
nuts and, li... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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SHE WANTED ALL OF ME IN HER MOUTH...

THIS IS JUST AN ACCOUNT OF THE GREATEST ORAL EXPERIENCE I EVER HAD.. I SHORT-CUT RIGHT TO THE JUICY PART.. BUT I GUARANTEE THIS IS ALL 100% HONESTY..

WHEN SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO 69 WITH MY, I LAY ON MY BACK GETTING MY HEAD COMFORTABLE ON THE PILLOWS... SILENTLY SHE WAVED HERE FINGER @ ME NEGATIVELY & GRABBING MY HAND SHE TUGGED/URGED ME UP & OFF THE BED.. ONCE I WAS UP, SHE LAY DOWN.. ONLY REVERSED (HER FEET TOWARDS THE HEADBOARD, HEAD HANGING FREELY OVER THE EDGE OF THE BED.. GAZING UP @ ME SHE TOLD ME, "NOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE TO MY PUSSY WITH YOUR TONGUE @ THE THE SAME TIME YO... Continue»
Posted by jboi626 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening Part 5

Trevor woke the next morning feeling invigorated. The previous days escapades had put a spring in his step, several in fact. As he descended the stairs to the kitchen below he couldn't help but whistle a jaunty tune.

Good morning f****y! He said bursting into the kitchen.

Well someone seems happy this morning! Ellen said, before taking a swig of coffee.

You are correct Mother dear, I have never felt better in all my days! Trevor said with a grin

so what are you gonna do today b*o? Jack asked.

Why don't you come to work with me son, they've all been asking about you? Carl said.
... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Chris Grffin pt 1

Chapter 1

This story is just something I made up when I was bored. It's not supposed to be good or bad,just an idea that popped into my head. Also, it's not canon to my other f****y Guy fanfiction,The Unknown Griffin, so don't expect to see Cindy, Britney or Jessica here. Enjoy this...thing.

Hello. You mayhave heardabout me. My name is Chris Griffin, and not much is known about me. I'm mainly considered a "space occupier", among other things, but that's only because everyone's too busypaying attention to either Brian, Stewie or Peter. There's a lot more to me than what is seen on the sur... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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close call

I got talking to a woman from work, we arranged to meet up for a drink one saturday night. after just one pint we couldnt wait so we went back to my car and drove off to find somewhere quiet. she couldnt wait for me to stop driving and was touching my growing cock. finally found somewhere to park, just a small gravel run off on a b road. we flattened the seats to give us a bit more room and ripped eachothers clothes off! the risk factor made it so much better! within 5 min she had squirted soaking my car seats! after about 20 min a van pulled up really quick, bright lights shining on the car. ... Continue»
Posted by jamie8422 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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me and my wife

I love my wife and I love her big tits and fat ass and I like to play her big tits and cumming them.But I like to see pics and videos with big tits and big fat asses. I think to myself that every man likes.Sometimes I jack off to pics and videos.My wife does not know about it.I take pictures my wife while sl**ping.She has got very big tits.Someday in the morning I am going to take picture her big tits and I was griping by my hand her big tit and another I was going to take picture suddenli she was wake up and she was be very angri for me.I would like to give my wife's big tits to my profi... Continue»
Posted by jimi12 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Goddess Of Fertility

The Goddess of Fertility

I used to work with a guy called Melvin. He was a lovely, happily married man with one
problem in his life. His beloved wife and he were finding it difficult to conceive.

I was I think 25, he'd have been about 40.

They began a programme of IVF at a private BUPA hospital not far from our workplace.

Each of them had to go on there from time to time, for the removal of her eggs, and
of course, for him to provide his "sample" for the procedure.

He used to tell me this in a very matter of fact, jocular fashion. He had to pop out
or take an early lunch a... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Susie Wong

A little background: Eddie, a friend of mine, and I take alternate shifts at a security office. The office is usually quiet, we just have to be there, be responsible, watch the monitors, that sort of thing. At night no one ever visits.

Well, no one except Eddie's wife Susie. She's half-Chinese, very attractive, very outgoing, and with a mouth and attitude like a Marine on shore leave! She'd had quite an upbringing in this Navy town and was quite the handful for her Chinese father, a first-generation immigrant, and her American redneck mother! (Those two are another whole story, but ne... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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one hot wet night

Driving down a long dusty country road with the tunes blaring, we spend a quiet afternoon. The music is lightening our spirits and I reach over a stroke the inside of your leg. Rubbing it in small circles, up the inside of your thigh and then back down to your knee. I lean over and tell you I love you and am enjoying this time together.

Along the way we find a small secluded grove of ancient oaks, beckoning us to pull up and stop... to commune with nature. You can't fight the f***e that beckons you and pull into the cool green canopy. We get out of the truck and I walk over and take your h... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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