Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

The Goddess Of Fertility

The Goddess of Fertility

I used to work with a guy called Melvin. He was a lovely, happily married man with one
problem in his life. His beloved wife and he were finding it difficult to conceive.

I was I think 25, he'd have been about 40.

They began a programme of IVF at a private BUPA hospital not far from our workplace.

Each of them had to go on there from time to time, for the removal of her eggs, and
of course, for him to provide his "sample" for the procedure.

He used to tell me this in a very matter of fact, jocular fashion. He had to pop out
or take an early lunch a... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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one hot wet night

Driving down a long dusty country road with the tunes blaring, we spend a quiet afternoon. The music is lightening our spirits and I reach over a stroke the inside of your leg. Rubbing it in small circles, up the inside of your thigh and then back down to your knee. I lean over and tell you I love you and am enjoying this time together.

Along the way we find a small secluded grove of ancient oaks, beckoning us to pull up and stop... to commune with nature. You can't fight the f***e that beckons you and pull into the cool green canopy. We get out of the truck and I walk over and take your h... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Slutty Sarah is back !

I didn’t think I’d hear from Sarah the Slut again, after this blog caused her to break up with her boyfriend, but last week she rang me and said she needed someone to talk to. She came over to my place and obviously wanted to talk about something, but couldn’t find a way of starting the subject. I gave her a few drinks and she started to talk. She’d been up to her slutty ways again. She said…..

‘I just have to talk to someone. I must tell someone, I just must. I’ve been so, so bad and I can’t sl**p just thinking about it.

It was a couple of weeks ago. You remember Maria, the Fren... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Doing it Yoga Style

Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.

He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.

Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 11 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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No Screwing

A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground... Continue»
Posted by Deecee29 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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GUY'S PRIZE-WINNING "HANK BURGERS"

GUY’S PRIZE-WINNING “HANK BURGERS”


It wasn’t more than a few days after I met him than I learned that Hank liked to cook. So we sat around in his Arkansas trailer in the hills above Hot Springs, sucking each others’ dicks and watching Food Network.

On a Saturday morning, I was fucking Hank’s ass over the sofa in his trailer, and what comes on over his satellite TV but fucking Rachel Ray! Man, does she have cock-sucking lips- all glossed up and everything. For a minute, Hank and I stopped banging just to look at her. We laughed at each other, both of us experienced enough to recognize a... Continue»
Posted by cigardad4dad 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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truth or dare

I am not sure who suggested truth or dare but we all seemed up for it.

There were 6 of us all together you me and two other couples.
It started pretty tame, truths about hoe many people we had slept with, telling fantasies ect .....
I think everyone was getting a bit horny from listening to all this talk if sex and with quite a few drinks down our necks we were all up for some dare's!
One of the girls seemed a bit apprehensive when you asked her to show how she gives head on a banana so we came to an agreement that we would have teams. Boys against girls.
We all did the dare, i showed ... Continue»
Posted by nicecock23 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Oil be damned

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body.

As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. A sure sign they are either overbooked or busy. With the idea already set in my mind I quickly towel... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I Demand A Do Over!

This is the story about how I lost my virginity. Some of my f****y live in small towns and we i go to visit them, we party (btw, this story is one the main reasons i don't drink anymore). Here I am, enjoying myself, and then all of a sudden, Bam! There she was. She was hot and to be honest, I didn't think I had a change with her. However, with the help of my cousin, I meet her(totally forgot her name). So, were talking and all off a sudden she wanted to dance. In the middle of the 3rd slow jam, I seemed to have "poked" her. Next thing I know, were upstairs. I remember kissing, and getting suck... Continue»
Posted by JFry 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A new found friend.

Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Posted by Mads69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Cross Dresser and The Big Fat Fuck

As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.

When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.

********************************************************************************

Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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UNCOMFORTABLE ...

My Wife and I felt very uncomfortable with a situation to be happened a few years ago ...

There was a business meeting with a supporting programm for golfers. So, we decided to go together there ...

We worked hard at day an had a funny evening in the wine yards benath RHINE, Germany ...

And, as always, we belonged to the last at the bar ...

You have to know, that SHE can squirt as hell, when she is in the right mood ...

This night she was in the right mood, and so were I ...

Next day we had business as usual and in the afternoon some golfing ...

The next and last morning, ... Continue»
Posted by vulkanasche 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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5 Tips to Keep Your Girl Happy

When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.

These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Worming, or I like tribbing with my girlfriend

It just occurred to me why I like tribbing. Tribbing, for those of you who don't know, is when two girls do a scissor lock on each others naked pussies. They rub their pussies together, causing pressure and some friction. Their clits make contact and they start to get wet, and then they slip and slide against each others creamy, dewy pulsating pussies. Erotic as hell! I start sneezing whenever I see it!

I'VE tribbed with a girl! Yes sir, I'm a 110% hetero male, but I tribbed with my girl friend way back when the earth was flat and young people felt not pain or knew what it was like ... Continue»
Posted by George178 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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