Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 72
The Turkish truck driver.
She burst through the arrivals door at the airport and into the lounge, I could tell that she was horny because she tried to explore my tonsils with her tongue as soon as we connected, I managed to disengage and said “hello” we hugged close again and she tried to bury her face in my neck attempting to bite me but having experienced this before I was ready for it and managed to hold her off while I picked her bags off the trolley.
This by the way is my current girlfriend, she is American born and works in Switzerland as a P.A to a banking director, she is 32 years ... Continue»
Now her new boyfriend is really, really annoyed about this blog about Sarah, my ex-girlfriend, so lets’ keep it going by another story about the horny bitch.
We were on holiday, somewhere on the Canary Islands. Lanzarote, I think. Two things happened on the holiday that her new boyfriend will hate to read about. I got a bit sunburnt one day, so the next day I couldn’t stay out in the sun too much. We were in a hotel room that overlooked some gardens with a lot of grassy areas and a few ponds. We had gone out to sunbath in the area of the gardens we could see from our room and after S... Continue»
Many years ago when I was about five or six years of age I experimented anally in the bath with a bit of soap; it felt good apart from the soap stinging a little bit.
When I was about ten years of age I got fucked for the first time by a friend of the same age. I don't know where he got the idea from but it felt very nice although there were minor complications.
In my teens a male friend and I used to have wanking races in his bedroom. We used to suck each other but not to orgasm so I never knowingly swallowed his cum.
Around about that time I lost my anal virginity in total to a Ga... Continue»
Honor looked at me from across the bed and caught my eyes staring at her fiery red hair.
"Are you ok Tommy," She asked, "I really need you to help me with these Maths problems and then we can concentrate on Physics"
We were both 16 and in Year 11 at our school. We had been good friends for ages and as our exams were fast approaching she had asked me to help her with her Maths, and in return i asked her to help me with my Physics. I had fancied her like mad for years but had never had the courage to ask her out.
"Yeah, i'm fine, just distracted a little." I replied, never taking my eye... Continue»
Introduction: This is a funny joke for the ppl who never heard it before.
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason.
He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try
to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio
the Physician, the King’s chief doctor.. Horatio thought about this and
said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but
it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause... Continue»
Another show, another rigging call. The glamorous life of a big rock show usually begins at 6 AM in the morning putting the rigging in place that holds those massive sound and lighting systems in the air.
This day was starting out like any other. I got to the Arena around 5:15 AM so I could let in the caterers and stagehands. I got the guard to open to door and he went back on his cart to his office. I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the production office. When I got there I opened the door and there was a young girl sitting the desk. She kind of startled me. I asked if I could h... Continue»
The night I met Mei in a London club, she was dressed the way you see in
Japanese anime. I told her, and she got all offended since she was Chinese,
and anyway she could not understand what I meant, or so she claimed.
She had on high heeled boots, knee high socks the kind you'll see matched
with schoolgirl uniforms, a chequered plaid skirt that barely covered her
ass, and a white shirt that could barely contain her immense 38E bust.
She looked obscene - breasts that size on a chink, especially one not more
than 5'1 or 5'2 that couldn't be a day over 18 just accentuated the
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they started a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and
asked " So why are you here today? "
The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a serial pisser. I piss on everything, I piss on the couch, the carpet, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But last night was the final straw when I pissed on my owner's."
The black Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? "
"Well, he's going to cut my balls off," answered the yellow Labrador. "Supposedly it'll calm me down and stop me pissing everywhere."
The Yellow Lab t... Continue»
(A short poem written in praise of my lovers' boobies, all of them regardless of size - and I include my own rather large ones in that category because nobody loves mine more than I do, with the possible exception of my lovely husband! Don't be fooled by the fact that it appears to be written from the male perspective - disregard gender as well as size. It's all about the love of boobies in general, but through my eyes and my lusts!)
My lover's tits are so tiny,
It's so plain for all to see,
Though my lover's tits are so tiny,
She sure loves them - just like me!
Crazy hippie junky love, that was all about the relationship between Marry and Alex. They would take every toilet in every bar, every party we went, and every scene with them ended up with them fucking like crazy. Unfortunately she was really a junky in those days so, of course she was slowly changing him too.
One day I was in the kitchen, drinking some beer, when they came to me laughing. Marry sat down, took some beer and light a cigarette. She was dressed in one of those colorful dresses, and a leather jacket that I guess it was her guys’. She looked damn hot. “You know what ... Continue»
Let me start by saying I have an over active sex drive. I could be doing anything, and suddenly I become unexpectedly aroused. Sometimes even the littlest things can set me off anything from putting clothes in the washer to an erotic glance from an interesting stranger. The smell of fresh cut grass, and the feel of it on my bare feet can bring back a flow of memories of previous outdoor sexual experiences.
Anyway when the urge hits me unexpectedly, I choose to masturbate and after the last time I decided to share my personal experience with everyone..
I ran to my bedroom and sla... Continue»
I laid across the bed on my stomach holding myself up by my elbows wearing just a T-shirt and my boxers looking up at the computer screen with the controller in my hands as my Guild and I marched boldly into the Forsaken Fortress to finally take down the Necromancer King. “This is it you guys” I said over the team channel knowing that this was going to be a long and tough fight, “I need a Defense boost” Shadow_Heart said over the comm. It didn’t take long for Elfkiller1 to start boosting everyone’s STATS, “first one to die has to put 500 gold into the guild bank” The-Bone-Eater said with a gig... Continue»
Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.
I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
A Short Story
in play format. (Originally written 23 Feb 2006)
Interior - waiting room of surgery. A voice over the P.A announces for Mrs Allott to enter Dr. R Don’s room.
Mrs Allott: Hello Dr.
Dr. Don: Good morning, Mrs Allott, what can I do for you? how’s Mr Allott?
Mrs Allott: He’s fine. Dr, I’m here about my pussy.
Dr. Don: And what is the problem with it?
Mrs Allott: It keeps itching.
Dr. Don: Well, you better get it out and I’ll take a look at it.
Mrs Allott gets it out and Dr. Don proceeds to take a good look at it.
Dr. Don: You have a lovely pussy,
THE WALKING FUCKERS
It was supposed to be a weak RNA strand that
disabled the enemy then withered.
The vector virus had other ideas.
It found a single, mutated Ecoli bacterium
and mated with it.
Military “Intelligence” had finally fucked us all.
“M0m will be furious with me,” I thought, lying in bed,
trying to figure how I'd refuse the “corrective” surgery
and not get kicked out of the house.
The alarm clock beeped.
“I'm 18, why NOW?? I grew up this way! NO, mom, NO!”
Fifty rehearsals in my head.
Then voices in the street.
I looked out the w
Continuation of part 1
Isabel finally made it to her relative's place .her face was completely haggard and worn out still panting from her little escapade.Every now and then she was able to stop,took a deep breath and took some rest.Knocking on the door, still panting, waited for the door to open ,for her unexpected arrival.Not long enough , the door opens , and greeted her cousin Belinda still panting."Hello Belinda!! she smiled faintly. Hey!!! What a surprise !!! What happened to you?Belinda snapped. How come you are panting like someone chased you? Belinda pointed out. Yes
now this is some shit thats hrd to belive
never could i ever imagined what was going to happen to me
as i lay therelost in a dream filled with differentwoman in front of me
somewere black somewere whitethe majority looked like white but as i stared getting to know each one it was clearthat race didnt really appear wellat least 2 me it didnt becausetheonlything i saw were nice shaped bodys notthe way u would think...but niced shaped in a way that appealed...to me...
the roundest of tits the thickness in there assess and legs u see i like that shit it turns me on callme different call mewron... Continue»
She sucked on his cock with relish across the gear stick separating the two front seats. Knowing the more danger they were both in the harder he would cum, Emma sucked him harder with gusto and worked the throbbing rock-hard ‘stick’ in her mouth, her tongue slithered and pressed every which way inside. His hands were busy changing gears and steering the wheel, concentrated hard on keeping the car on the road and not the ditch on the side. Every pothole Andrew couldn’t avoid jolted his cock deep into Emma’s mouth, hit the back of the throat every so often.
Now that the blow job keeps both oc... Continue»
That's a hot chat I just had one hour ago with a fantastic english teen. As a lot of men ask me how I find girls, maybe they can find some tips there. I put a screen-shot at the end of the text. Comment if you like, I can post other hot talks I had and I will have ^^
I only modified CuteLéa by Lea and bleuchanel69 by Me - should be easier to read -, and hidded the town where she lives. It may be sometimes a little boring, but it is the real chat we had. Comment also if you don't like ;)
[17:33:19] Lea: hey sorry i havent spoken to you in ages :( i lost my laptop charger so i h... Continue»
Jools was quite simply beautiful. She sat astride him and he could not believe he was so fortunate. She was like a naughty angel. Albeit an angel with flawless makeup and one wearing a black and red leather corset, fishnet stockings and high heels.
"I'm going to fuck you hard," she whispered, leaning closer to him. "You're going to cum so much and I want it all."
"Oh my god," he managed to gasp as she leant forwards to nuzzle his ear, running her tongue up his neck. His cock was a hard pain between his legs. It twitched as she brushed his legs with her fishnets. Her nipples were visib... Continue»