Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 71
For foxy female friends - by Petra, granddod of Poet Pete, who hosts me here
I invite her for a trip to the beach by bicycle. I make sure she takes the racing bike up front.
I guide her through the greenery to the dunes through a natural park to the almost deserted beach.
I love to look at her legs and ass move up and down while she wheels just two meters ahead of me.
I wonder whether I should have asked her not to wear anything underneath that sexy short skirt?
I will get her wet when we bake in the sun on the warm sand almost out of view for shore walkers.
I already know how... Continue»
"You almost done Lilly?"
I was anxious for the weekend, but it wasn't because I had something to do. It was simply because I don't think people could understand how much pressure could be put on a person from a small print company in the middle of the city. We had a lot of high brow clientele and when lawyers want their paperwork they want it yesterday.
Snow had fallen and the ground was iced over in patches that day as I stood at the back door waiting for her to leave. I could feel the cold from outside through the wall. I took a look back at Lilly through the open door fro... Continue»
Damn, I hated the noise. No matter where you went, it was the same. Somehow, the deejays around the world must have all gone to the same identical music store. There, they learned to turn the volume up until it hurt and loudspeakers only produced distortion.
Even here at the bar, it was near impossible to hear the barmaid. She showed me four fingers, meaning four dollars for my beer. I wondered what sign she would make for five dollars and seventy-five cents? She was a beautiful woman with reddish hair and a little bit shorter than me. Maybe five foot six. Like most barmaids, she was dresse... Continue»
so your laying down on the beach, letting the sun burn your back you silly girl
suddenly you feel the cold drip of lotion on your back , quickly followed by warm hands massaging into your shoulders and down your back
you hear a voice saying"don"t look round", you decide not to as the rubbing feels so good and you needed lotion on your back anyway
the hands move slowly up and down your back, the fingers every now and then brushing against your breasts as you lay on your front, the hands slowly move lower on your back until they reach the top of your bum,
they slide beneath yo... Continue»
A little bit of background information.
We had come in the club for a few years. It was a place where you could come, sit and relax, be with your partner, or be with other people. Usually there was access for all, all adults that is, but they had try to make one evening a month just for couples, male/female, sunday night.
Angel, my wife, was dressed in a shiny black dress with a discreet red white pattern.
Under she had black corset, black stockings, garter Belt and lace panties and short stiletto boots.
We arrived at the club in the belief that i... Continue»
I had just finished my work out in the crummy gym near my job and I was feeling sore.I was all sweaty too,even though I had taken a shower.It was upstairs from an even crummier massage parlour,where it was well known that "extras" were available.Well, I had never paid for sexual services in my life,and I wasn't starting now.
But as I walked past the door I could see there was a new girl on the desk.And fuck she was hot.She was Chinese,which rarely did anything for me,but this girl was H.O.T.
She was wearing a school girls uniform,even though she looked about 21.but she had the top 3 or 4 but... Continue»
Hi I’m Sam. Mid 30’s, divorced, six feet tall, short black hair, great legs (if I say so!) and an athletic body, toned through my exercise routines and my sailing. And seven inches of uncut horny cock when engorged!
You see I own a small 4 berth boat and as an income I take people on cruises around the rivers and ports of the south of France. It’s not a big boat, but cosy enough. I go where they want and do what they want. We can stop at ports or beaches, small islands or the mainland. Offshore or on a river.
Mainly the people are of a certain age, shall we say. And the views on the sun ... Continue»
He walked up right as we did. He eyed me up and down like he wanted to eat me. He asked Jason ‘is this going to ruin our friendship. Are you going to treat me like shit because I fucked your girl?’ Jason was honest. He said ‘I love her more than you can ever imagine. But I fucked up so bad she deserves a damn good fuck and total revenge.’ This boy grew up with us. He was in my sixth grade class.
Jason busted out with ‘I popped lauren’s cherry and I was never going to tell her about it. My b*****r ratted me out. You know lauren has treated her like shit even though they were best fucking fri... Continue»
And so began my screening interview and my first adventure into the world of adult films. Once I got past all the legal bullshit the questions were kind of fun to answer.
Had I ever had gay sex before?
"Everyone in the room seemed gay and happy about what I was doing to them at the time."
There was a guest speaker for the monthly meeting of the Pleasant Town Trans-gender League. This guy was so full of shit it wasn't funny. He supposedly represented someone wanting to do a documentary... Continue»
A f****y is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. ... Continue»
It was the fall of my sophomore year in college and I had just moved into a new apartment and I had put up an ad for a room mate to help cover the expenses. A number of girls had called but the one I settled on was a girl named Alicia who was just a freshman but her parents were well to do and she didn't want to live in the dorms. Most of the other girls I either knew by name or reputation and I really didn't want my pad to become party central.
Alicia was a small town girl, who was still dating her high school sweet heart, who was stuck at home attending junior college because he couldn't... Continue»
The Pre-Nup Agreement
Several years ago one of Kellys' friends had a b*****r who was getting married in Reno and a bunch of us girls
decided we would all get together for a wild weekend reunion. I unfortunately had several of my regular clients to see
on Thursday and Friday afternoon and wouldn't be able to depart for Reno until early Friday evening. Needless to say by
the time I arrived the ladies were already in a crazy celebratory mood. I'd had several drinks on the flight so I wasn't entirely
unprepared once I got to Reno.
I had the valet hire me a taxi and headed for the Cal... Continue»
Due to some function my relatives had to visit the native place for two weeks. I didn't joined them coz of my upcoming semester exams....& they left at next morning...I was little happy as I got full freedom to freakout with my friends & to do party......!!! but at same time was unhappy when my relatives told me about fatima that she would disturb my privacy with her routine works.....!!
But managed my mind with that thought. Next morning I was sl**ping till late when she knocked my door......i was still in sl**p....walked in my boxers & opened the door & again felt on bed for sl**p. ... Continue»
Two hours ago, it was a good day.
I was with my parents out for a weekend of scuba diving and sun tanning off the coast of Catalina. A much needed weekend of relaxation brought to us through spontaneous means (my pops had cracked a screw and instead of a sports car for his mid-life crisis, he bought a rather big yacht). And so we'd been enjoying the sun after a nice afternoon dive. Armed with margaritas and not a care in the world. That is what I call blissful.
Thirty minutes ago, we received the warning.
Any good sailor knows to check the weather reports ... Continue»
Man, what to say. So on Saturday March 30th, I lost half of my virginity. More specifically, I got a handjob. Now, if youre excepting some super erotic story or whatever, this isnt going to be it.
Getting on to the story. In good ole Pensacola, Florida. Me, my friend(who I will just call Scarlet) and her other friend(who I will just call Tessa) went to the park. It was suppose to be just a regular day of goofing off. But Scarlet thought itd be funny to pour soap all over my car. I was already just tired from just playing around on at park, mainly i was light headed becaus... Continue»
Well, it’s time to really annoy my ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend, Chris, again, with even more evidence of what an exhibitionist slut she really is.
Sarah and I used to live together in the city of Bath (UK). Some Saturdays we would go to a café for morning coffee, in the city, to read the morning papers. One time we went there, Sarah was wearing a fairly short skirt, certainly above knee-length, which had a bit of a split up one side. We went into an open courtyard of the café, walking down some open, iron steps, almost like a fire escape to get to the tables. At the bottom was a ta... Continue»
STRAIGHT MALE EDITION
Every Straight Male thinks they're able to do porn
1. Are you capable of cumming more than once ? not that you will really need to but just in case you happen to get over excited around female performers you wont explode and then have nothing else left in the arsenal.
2. How are your athletic skills ? its one thing to be in a gangbang edge yourself and wait till its your turn to jizz, but its another thing when you have to penetrate another performer in full speed without getting out of breath and stopping.Porn stars usually go half and hal... Continue»
Tossing and turning on the bed; she found that sl**p would not come to her, as her mind was full of vivid memories of the days fun they had just enjoyed. A smile came across her face as she remembered each detail of their Anniversary dinner. Choosing a more private affair than most they had decided to go to the local park with a blanket. Once there she realised there was no food. Arching an eyebrow questioning at him he had laughed, pulled her down onto the blanket, lifted her skirt and started to lick and suck her clit. Every so often lifting his head to insert a finger into her wet pulsin... Continue»
This is my first story so constructive criticism please, if you like this I will post more stories from my strange & crazy life. This is a true story, happened to me in the summer of 05' best day of my life.
So first the stats, you fellow story readers seam to enjoy them. The girl in this story Rachel is/was 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Mulatto, 5'4" maybe 125lbs, Curvy, a nice handful of tits & a rock hard ass that went on for days. I was & still am, 1/2 irish 1/2 mexican, 5'9" 144lbs very skinny yet toned from lack of body fat, I'm a grower not a shower, at 9inches when erect & I'm cut... Continue»
This story is completely fictional!
It had been a few months since I had seen my cousin Sara and when she got to my house for thanksgiving I was stunned at how sexy she looked. Since I had seen her last, she had cut her hair and more importantly developed a nice set of tits. Not too big and not too small, just perfect for a track runner like she was. She had a slim body but perfect ass which I loved to stare at. When everyone arrived I took their coats and threw them on my bed, Sara came with me and threw a few coats down too. She commented on how messy my room was and laughed when she s