Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 71

Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Doing it Yoga Style

Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.

He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.

Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 10 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Oil be damned

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body.

As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. A sure sign they are either overbooked or busy. With the idea already set in my mind I quickly towel... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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No Screwing

A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground... Continue»
Posted by Deecee29 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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one hot wet night

Driving down a long dusty country road with the tunes blaring, we spend a quiet afternoon. The music is lightening our spirits and I reach over a stroke the inside of your leg. Rubbing it in small circles, up the inside of your thigh and then back down to your knee. I lean over and tell you I love you and am enjoying this time together.

Along the way we find a small secluded grove of ancient oaks, beckoning us to pull up and stop... to commune with nature. You can't fight the f***e that beckons you and pull into the cool green canopy. We get out of the truck and I walk over and take your h... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I Demand A Do Over!

This is the story about how I lost my virginity. Some of my f****y live in small towns and we i go to visit them, we party (btw, this story is one the main reasons i don't drink anymore). Here I am, enjoying myself, and then all of a sudden, Bam! There she was. She was hot and to be honest, I didn't think I had a change with her. However, with the help of my cousin, I meet her(totally forgot her name). So, were talking and all off a sudden she wanted to dance. In the middle of the 3rd slow jam, I seemed to have "poked" her. Next thing I know, were upstairs. I remember kissing, and getting suck... Continue»
Posted by JFry 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Worming, or I like tribbing with my girlfriend

It just occurred to me why I like tribbing. Tribbing, for those of you who don't know, is when two girls do a scissor lock on each others naked pussies. They rub their pussies together, causing pressure and some friction. Their clits make contact and they start to get wet, and then they slip and slide against each others creamy, dewy pulsating pussies. Erotic as hell! I start sneezing whenever I see it!

I'VE tribbed with a girl! Yes sir, I'm a 110% hetero male, but I tribbed with my girl friend way back when the earth was flat and young people felt not pain or knew what it was like ... Continue»
Posted by George178 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Slutty Sarah is back !

I didn’t think I’d hear from Sarah the Slut again, after this blog caused her to break up with her boyfriend, but last week she rang me and said she needed someone to talk to. She came over to my place and obviously wanted to talk about something, but couldn’t find a way of starting the subject. I gave her a few drinks and she started to talk. She’d been up to her slutty ways again. She said…..

‘I just have to talk to someone. I must tell someone, I just must. I’ve been so, so bad and I can’t sl**p just thinking about it.

It was a couple of weeks ago. You remember Maria, the Fren... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Crack Addict prt. 4

You wanna do what ?!!

I want you to lay down on your stomach. I'm gonna rub this vial of baby oil on your ass cheeks and then I'm going to rub my dick in the crack of your ass until I cum. Preferably, I'd like to rub said cum all over your ass cheeks with my dick.

Man, you crazy ... Crazy as fuck.

But I got money.


I pulled a loose wad of cash from my pocket and gestured towards the prostitute. She giggled like an old hag and reached for the money.

you sure that's all you wanna do right ? I mean you aint gonna slip inot the booty hole or nothin and cla... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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UNCOMFORTABLE ...

My Wife and I felt very uncomfortable with a situation to be happened a few years ago ...

There was a business meeting with a supporting programm for golfers. So, we decided to go together there ...

We worked hard at day an had a funny evening in the wine yards benath RHINE, Germany ...

And, as always, we belonged to the last at the bar ...

You have to know, that SHE can squirt as hell, when she is in the right mood ...

This night she was in the right mood, and so were I ...

Next day we had business as usual and in the afternoon some golfing ...

The next and last morning, ... Continue»
Posted by vulkanasche 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The walk in park. The real story.

This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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I should have done it.

When I was uni-student. One day I was going to a book store by motorcycle.
I was aware a woman walking this way. Passing beyond, we turned our eyes each other.
I murmured "she is tight!" in my heart. When I was reading a book in a sotre, someone
stood by me and pushed stucked book down to my side ..
I faced that person. She was there! She didn't look at me but seemed to expect something.
After a while she moved to exit and stopped to face me for a moment.
I was too square to chase her. I should have done it.... Continue»
Posted by tatsu403 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Cross Dresser and The Big Fat Fuck

As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.

When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.

********************************************************************************

Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Damaged scrotum story

A vicar asks his congregation if anyone would like to express thanks for their answered prayers.

A young woman makes her way to the front of the church and turns to face the congregation. "I would like to give thanks to my answered prayers! she announces. "Six months ago, my husband, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was agonizing and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

A stifled gasp came from every man in the congregation as they imagined the pain that the poor man must have experienced.

The young woman continued, "My ... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Susie Wong

A little background: Eddie, a friend of mine, and I take alternate shifts at a security office. The office is usually quiet, we just have to be there, be responsible, watch the monitors, that sort of thing. At night no one ever visits.

Well, no one except Eddie's wife Susie. She's half-Chinese, very attractive, very outgoing, and with a mouth and attitude like a Marine on shore leave! She'd had quite an upbringing in this Navy town and was quite the handful for her Chinese father, a first-generation immigrant, and her American redneck mother! (Those two are another whole story, but ne... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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passion towards mom part

Before starting the story, let me introduce my f****y and I am Anand, 21 years and doing my MBA from a reputed college in Delhi and also helping my Mom in her business. My Mom Vibha is 42 now her Fig is 36 30 38. She is fair in colour and 5 feet 4 inches in height. My Father Ashok Jaiswal died in 2008 due to high Diabetes and he left his business for us

And a good amount of money but his death was a shock for us and also my mom was not capable of handling business at that time. So after his death we faced lot of troubles and during this time and I came very close to my Mom and there were t... Continue»
Posted by vijayhot18 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Memoirs of a Woman of the Wind


I opened my weak weary eyes, the glare from the bright sunshine obscured my vision,
as strange faces looked down upon me.

I could hear the sound of rolling waves from the sea, and my clothes felt heavy and wet.
My blonde hair was all matted from the salty water.
I had been lying u*********s on a sandy beach.

The handsome faces staring down at me were brown with a slight reddish tint to them.
I'd never seen faces like these before.
There was a mix of men and women, and some young boys and girls amongst the small crowd too.
They each had long strait thick black hair,
Both genders ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A Country Girl's Dildo

Not only country boys know how to survive even though
the song that tells of their prowess would leave that
impression. We country girls have ways of seeing to
our needs also, and can do that quite well thank you.

One of our country girl needs is to keep down the
level of sexual stress to a point where we can
function otherwise. Of course, there are lots of ways
to do that and we usually find them and that's what
this little story is about, how I found mine.

I suppose I was like most girls in discovering the
exquisite pleasures my clitty could provide. My
fingers and th... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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