Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 71

prostitutes an tricks that love them

Iam not surprised that some guys who are tricks have feelings for prostitutes I get that. After all a hooker is a woman and women make us feel good even if it is a whore. Apparently some guys don't have a woman at home and make hookers their girl friend. I guess. I tricked with this lil blond a couple of times and like all the other hookers on my site which is many whores dot com by the way featuring nothing but real prostitutes a look into the world of real prostitution and shows you don't have to have a cock like a tree trunk to please a woman. Yes they fake but they cant fake cum on the coc... Continue»
Posted by lilcocktee 3 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 530  |  
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SEVEN WISE MEN

Seven wise men with the knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.

Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.

Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.

Last was... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 525  |  
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Rage Against His Machine

There is a man on this site by the name of Snake92666.
He is fairly well-known on this site, with over 36,000 comments and over 600 friends.
He is also amusingly homophobic.
I found this out one day, a little over a month back. I had left him a comment on his profile asking about the reason he explicitly stated twice in a row, in capital letters, that he was "100% straight." It seemed a little fishy to me, especially when his "about me" also contained several links to pictures of his penis, with overstated invitations for women to admire and men to avoid.
So I left him a comme... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 1 year ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 525  |  
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The Bully Part 2

The idea of Soul Mates started with Greek Philosopher Plato. He proposed that long ago Humans were giants with two heads, four arms and four legs. But Zeus King of the Gods feared their power and split everyone apart. It is that drive to complete ourselves that fuels the search for the Soul Mate.

I was never one to believe in such nonsense, then I met Erin. There was just something about her that resonated with me. Where most people could see her tough angry shell I saw the scared and vulnerable girl within.

And so it was that a Month later I announced my epic plan.

"I'm gonna make... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 524  |  
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The Changing Room - Strange Relationship Version X

Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 524  |  
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Secretary

Seymour Shaft, disgraced cop turned private detective was trying to open his emails. He was not having much success. He kept hitting the wrong keys and now he had locked himself out with his password protection.
This was all happening because he was finding it hard to concentrate. It’s not easy to work a computer if you are getting blown at the same time.
Seymour’s secretary was one hot bitch and she was also one dirty bitch. One thing she really loved doing was sucking dick. That and sitting on faces. She was having a fun time at that moment, squatting between the detective’s legs, pe... Continue»
Posted by sirspunky 3 days ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 530  |  
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Extra Innings

It was a hot summer day in the windy city. I was at my girlfriend's house watching the Cubs play the Reds in Wrigley Field. My girl Lisa was a big Cubs fan but I was into the White Sox so we always debated on which team was better. Lisa, a hottie with flaming red hair, five foot five, and a body that wouldn't quit. On a hot day she wore short shorts and sandals and already I was feeling hard below the belt. The game was at the bottom of the eleventh inning with the game tied at three. With the game on the line I had to keep my mouth shut otherwise Lisa would have a fit. She was afrai... Continue»
Posted by Wordman 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 521  |  
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How I control my Master...!

He always calls right about now. Nighttime's darkest moment, when only the desperate are awake. Naked under the covers my body aches from use but hums with anticipation. Twenty-one years old, it’s never felt so alive.
Like I knew it would, the phone rings, it’s him. He’s looking for a fix, a little naughtiness before sl**p. A thousand miles away, he breathes into my ear, the opening moments of a familiar ritual with a different twist every time.
We met over the summer. Right after I broken up with my college boyfriend. I was inexperienced; he was not. Battered but handsome, he took my fres... Continue»
Posted by pujaraje 11 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 521  |  
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Fucked 2 - The Great Rock N Roll Orge

Fucked 2 - The Great Rock N Roll Orgy [part 2 of 2]
By: Jo Jo (joanne.erotic@gmail.com)

Fucked 2 - The Greatest Rock N Roll ORGY of all Time

Well... bestest one I have ever been to anyway.

This follows on from Fucked, and concerns the party that followed the
dissolution of that band.

It was held in a very impressive apartment overlooking the canal system
in the centre of Birmingham. It was above some sort of gym/spa and took
up the entire floor.

The band, as I mentioned before , was Mike , Paul, Niecey , Julie, Ray
and of course Derek.

Also at the bash, 4 or 5 te... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 18 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 522  |  
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Cheating On The Phone

This is a true story. I was once involved with a woman who had an on-again, off-again boyfriend. He was an alcoholic, and kind of a lout. At one point they even got engaged, even though he sometimes hit her. Eventually she broke that off, but even while she was 'with' him she kept having sex with me. It wasn't about romance, just sex and friendship.

Anyway, one day we were on her bed: she was wearing a sexy bra and panty set, which was kind of getting in the way, because she was on top of me, and we were in the "69" position, with me holding the panties to one s... Continue»
Posted by leftiebiker 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 520  |  
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Under the bridge

I am so hot and horney I need to take a walk and find some young slut with a big hairy dick to call my own. Born without a dick or a pussy I only have a tight ass and a willing mouth and I want something hard up my ass...something to explode inside of me and I don’t care if it is big or small as long as it is willing....
So I parade up and down the street faceless and with a hairy open ass to accept what ever comes along. and there is a man under the bridge with one of those of funny signs that say...I’ll fuck for food,,,,and he is so cute and he turns out to be a she and she has a willing mo... Continue»
Posted by mia1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 519  |  
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Not speaking.........again.

“Hello love, I'm home”, I said as I closed front door.

There was no reply. After three day she still wasn't speaking to me. When I say not speaking that is not exactly the truth. Not speaking means I was actually being treated to a series of monologues about my grievous faults. Whenever I tried to say something in my defence, it was ignored. I must have apologised about a dozen times. It seemed that wasn't enough. She was really going to milk this one for all it was worth.

She appeared out of the kitchen, wearing a dressing gown and a look of disdain as she brushed past me and went u... Continue»
Posted by harrymunx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 518  |  
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A satisfying End

She is the one who has made me do this! I was saying to myself when I found myself sl**ping beside her. It was an intoxicating night none of us knew that it will lead to this but it was fun, hell of a night to experience. I never thought that I will ever get into bed with her so easily. She is one the most beautiful woman I have ever seen; she has the perfect figure with flash in right proportion in right places.

I was mesmerized by her beauty the moment I saw her and she understood the effect she had on me (which she used to her full advantage that night). It was my cousin’s bachelor part... Continue»
Posted by thedirt 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 516  |  
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My first sexperience... read to love it

While on a vacation in the far north east part of India, On the day before I was due to leave the resort I was staying in, I had this singular experience, which I am about to relate.

The place I was staying in was in the forrests, by a lonely road, with plenty of vegetation. The cottage like living quarters were far apart, with a big garden with walkways and lawns separating them. I was enjoying the quietness of the place. For most of my vacation I was the lone guest, until a group of three very young college students arrived. Well, the people of the north-east are more chinese-looking
... Continue»
Posted by desi_rulez 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 516  |  
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painful and punishing found out.

Local women and wife of a truck driver was hot. The day he left she started calling the local boys. I had my opportunity and jumped on her like a rabbit. Was a young k** and excited to feel her adult hot box. Friend and I took turns fucking and watching the other fuck. She would call the other over and suck him hard before the other finished. She fucked us both dry and sucked my cock sore. I was know for having a big cock, but I was young then. The terry b*****rs were the lost teen long cock swingers. Frined and I knew where to get and watch her bed room.
One terry b*****r bent her over the ... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 516  |  
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Chris Grffin pt 2

I climbed out of bed, yawning. It was Monday -brilliant. Everybody's favourite day, I don't think. At least I wouldbe able to see Clio and her s****r, my crush Jennifer again - they had been on vacation inBarbados for two months now. For Clio, that probablywould have been Hell. Her parents probablyf***ed her to go outside andsocialise, and Cliowould rather blow her own brains out than do that - though I think every f******n year oldgirl these days thinks that way.

In school, Clio, TJ, Matty, Jennifer and I were all having lunch. Clio, who generallystays away from her younger s****r, looked ... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 516  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 515  |  
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Does my bra fit?

Heat-activated, anti-wrinkle, iPod-charging … today's bras are about as high-tech as computers. They have complex support systems and multiple operating modes. They're priced just a bit shy of a PC.

The quest for the perfect bra can lead women to extremes of shopping, trying on and spending without ever finding the One. And there's a reason for that: There is no perfect bra. High-tech bells and whistles and the brand new, ultimate design are just the side show. The main event is much simpler. It's the fit.

A well-fitting bra does two things: It supports and it enhances. Holds 'em and sha... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 514  |  
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One of my fantasies!


As, I sat naked on my bed front of my laptop, checking my emails; a usual email message came up on my computer, it reads: 'Open immediately from Chuck'. Curious, I open the email, and its show a picture of me lying on the bed with my legs spread open. It's more like I just finish masturbated! Shock, and confused, I replied back to Chuck and ask; 'How did you get that picture?' Chuck respond; ' I snap you while you were into your devotion. ‘You made my dick very hard.' I wasn't afraid, or, show no fear; I was more curious where Chuck was hiding? Is he nearby? Or, peeping at me from an open... Continue»
Posted by Chocolatepussy45 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 514  |  
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Ex- Girlfriend new story

This is another true story about the chick I worked with at the factory. It just came to mind and I thought I'd better post it before I forgot it again. I hope you enjoy and please leave comments. Thanks!
I spent the night at her place and as usual when we went to bed, we fucked. I swear this bitch loved to fuck more than any other woman I've ever met! and it was very easy to make her cum, I've never seen a woman that was able to cum that easily and in so many different ways! Oh yeah and the best part...She was a squirter (my first and only one)I loved that about her! Ok here goes. Like ... Continue»
Posted by cooterliker 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 513  |  
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