Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 71

Being nude short story

I thought I share this story of being nude in not your normal place, anyone a nudist? This is just a little story about a kinky fetishism I came up with about me it maybe a little interesting to you but I just wonder if other people have done anything like this I have been finding out how fun it is to be nude in a strange place to be nude at all. . I have always enjoyed being nude but not in proper places like nudist beaches or camps of any kind so I can't call myself a nudist. Very few times have I been nude with other's in a semi-nonsexual way it's, mostly all been sexual with partners or f... Continue»
Posted by lov2dancecpl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Fight In Mall Gets Melissa Horny

This is a reprint of my first story so please don't get offended by any ethnic slurs as this a true story and is how it happened.

It all started on a rainy Saturday afternoon in July of 2005.
My girlfriend Melissa and I had plans to go on a picnic instead the rain that was predicted for late this evening came early.So Melissa suggested we go to the mall and do some shopping.I was not happy but I needed a few things for my computer.
when we got there it was packed I guess we were not the only ones that changed their plans at the last minute,before I go any further let me describe Meliss... Continue»
Posted by bigrob40 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Jane and the Belly Dancer

Jane and the Belly Dancer

We resumed fucking and for the first time in my life I began to feel sick to my
stomach while having sex. It was time to resume my self coaching.

"This is how I'm gonna someday make THE BIG BUCKS! Just a few more minutes.
Oh shit look at those tits bounce! The way she's moving her legs. OMG OMG OMG!

***********************************************************************

I gazed into the full length mirror inside the dressing room and admired
my new makeover. There was fresh make up on my face which for the first
time ever, included f... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The Alleyway

This particular night came about when a good (a newly discovered lesbian) friend of mine invited me to join her to a "ladies night" at a local gay club. Being an overwhelmingly heterosexual male, I jumped at the idea of attending. All the while thinking, "Maybe there will be some cracking hot chicks who'd want to take turns. etc." My mind ran wild in the day leading up the party. I couldnt contain my excitement, frequently letting my friend know what I was going to do to the "babes" in the club.

The night arrived. I'd groomed myself, gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror, put on the f... Continue»
Posted by sirpsychosexy2011 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Revenge is sweet

A f****y sitting around the dinner table and the son asks if he can ask a question.
The father responds.
Of course,the only question!
The young man asks his dad:
Dad,how many different kinds of breasts are there?
Father,surprised,answers
Well,son,there are three kinds of breasts.
The 20-year-old woman has breasts are like melons, round & firm.
Around 30-40 years of age are like pears still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty,they are like onions.
Onions?
Yes, when you see them and they make you cry.
This outlay was both mother and daughter to see red,so the daughter sa... Continue»
Posted by betty6love6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Job Posting for a New Lover (Satire)

JOB APPLICATION FOR MISTRESS EMMA'S LOVERS

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Mistress Emma is a 49yo , SWF, 5'9", 240lb, 42DD, BBW, uninhibited, sexually adventurous, dominant female who lives in the Portland, Oregon area.  By day she is a senior project manager for a large company, with a Master's Degree who has travelled to 4 continents and over two dozen countries.  She doesn't do d**gs, drink excessively, gamble or have financial problems.  To the outside world, she is a very responsible, respectable and productive member of society.  Her one vice is that she has a VERY, VERY dirty... Continue»
Posted by EmmaLoveXXX 1 month ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Giving advice

Part of my job is giving advice to groups of around 40 people; the reason for the small numbers is in my field of work and a lot of individuals need to ask many questions and you could be their all night.
Last Monday I was in Harrogate doing a talk. In the front row, smack in the middle were this good looking couple in their 40s, he had a very expensive suit on and she had this wonderful short dress showing quite a lot of leg extenuating her figure with a nice pair of black and red high heels. As I was talking the woman kept crossing her legs one way then the other and this caused her dress t... Continue»
Posted by joncristo 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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LITTLE JOHNNY......

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:

"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 11

The Italian Job 11
I awoke again about 07.30, it took a few seconds to get my bearings then there was a stirring in my groin and I realised I was spooned up with her again, she turned as she woke bringing her face very close to mine in the bed, I straightened my legs down the bed and she brought her hips into me, passing a leg onto the top of mine, she had her eyes open and she was watching me “are you ok this morning?” she asked “I feel terrific” I replied “ any second thoughts or regrets?” she continued “why should there be?” I countered “last night you had sex with a woman who could be you... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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First Flight

This piece of writing is an extract from my novel "Toggenburg" It's not a sex story as such but I post it here for a dear friend who I learned to my surprise had never flown on an aeroplane! Since this chapter was about a character's first flight on an aircraft i decided to post this for a little fun and to whet the appetite of my beloved shewolf for her first journey into the realms above.


The following day dawned bright and sunny although there were still clouds about clinging to the sides of the mountains. Sarah was up early; jumping excitedly out of the bed she shared with Daniela at ... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Enjoying during studying in college

That happened to me when I studied at the University. I didn’t live with my parents because in this city we didn’t have a house or some relatives or even friends. I was late to get my name on the list to the college hostel, so I had to rent accommodation just a few blocks from the campus. There were 2 of us, 2 girls who rented one apartment, because it was a bit cheaper for us both to share accommodation fees.
I walked in to the apartment I shared with another girl named Lucy. It was late Friday night. I had been in the library, preparing for my exams on the next Monday. The living room was i... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Adventures at the Orgy Motel. Part 1

Roots Motel Ch 1
By: Friskee_cpl (friskee_cpl@yahoo.com.au)

It takes hours to write these stories but only seconds to vote and send a message. Thanks to all of those wonderful people who send messages. It does make a difference. Please enjoy.

You help fuck a friend's wife and cum all in her cunt and you end up buying their motel. As Ned Kelly said "Such is Life".

Hello I am Marcus Franklin. I own a small motel in the Riverina and I spend a fair amount of my time in the bedroom. Well bedrooms to be precise. I have just bought a 20 room motel that I will be running with my wife Sharon... Continue»
Posted by friskee_cpl 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Dating leads to Fun with neighbour

Hello Guys and Girls I’m Naren 23 years old from Chennai. I am a student. Well I don't like to praise my own personality by my own words but my friends opinion about my personality is that Dude, you can impress any female of this world whether married or unmarried, whether sound character or unsound by your personality with in no time.
I am here to narrate the best encounter of my life. I am eagerly waiting for the response and suggestions of my story readers and readers post your feedback or If you need any help you can mail me on chennainareshk@gmail.com
It was summer vacation. I was alone... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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my endless night of pleasure

it all started when me and my bf at the time was sat in the living room it had been a pretty boring day we were just having a couple of drinks as we did on most occasions and i was getting a little horny so i looked at my bf and said i was going to put a dvd on so i walked ova to my bag and pulled out a porn dvd and wen he realised what i had put on u saw a smile come right across his face he looked pleased so we started to watch it and continue our drinking by the end of it we had started to kiss and caress each other just on top of our clothes we started to get in to the moment and he slowly... Continue»
Posted by gothicprincess1988 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Beer VS. Pussy

Introduction: As always your comments, ratings, and jokes are greatly appreciated

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy,... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Three's not always a crowd

Miguel and René- Three's not always a crowd.

I didn't want to go to the pub with Miguel. It was about 2 weeks after Easter break and I wanted to write some letters to my parents to soften the hard feelings about going to Miguel's f****y's home for the holiday rather than to New York and tell them about my holiday.

"But it's Portugal in the finals" he crooned, coming close to stand between my legs where I sat at the dining table with my sketchbook and journal out. I was flipping through postcards and printed photos of Miguel's f****y and estate that I wanted to include in my letters. "Qu... Continue»
Posted by WonderWoman22 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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passion towards mom part

Before starting the story, let me introduce my f****y and I am Anand, 21 years and doing my MBA from a reputed college in Delhi and also helping my Mom in her business. My Mom Vibha is 42 now her Fig is 36 30 38. She is fair in colour and 5 feet 4 inches in height. My Father Ashok Jaiswal died in 2008 due to high Diabetes and he left his business for us

And a good amount of money but his death was a shock for us and also my mom was not capable of handling business at that time. So after his death we faced lot of troubles and during this time and I came very close to my Mom and there were t... Continue»
Posted by vijayhot18 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My second one.. This was with my social..mam

I already shared with u guys my expirience with my science..mam and this s with my social mam.. I liked her..very much...
She s in her 40s .married but din have a c***d :( :)... but truth s that she s dam sexy...i always daydream at her..and result is fail in my exams.. So i get a chance to attend her remedials..around 10 students accompany me in her..class.. Oh i forget to say her character ,she s very strict ..she use to debate for all the topic.. So i know if i could get her in a sexy argument then i can win her.. .. I was waitin for a rite day..i said all my friends that lets bunk the re... Continue»
Posted by Michaelzoron 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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home but not alone

This morning when waking up, as always, i go straight to the toilets, scratching carelessly my f****y jewels. I just forgot for a second that my cousine was at home since yesterday evening. She's there standing in the corridor staring at me. Such an uncomfortable feeling grows in me...

Now she's enjoying her breakfast, i go to the bathroom, washing myself and here comes my morning boner without warning, i start wanking, lightly, and once again i just forgot i'm not alone, and the door is not locked and there she's entering the bathroom, hopefully i was not moaning her name...

Now she'... Continue»
Posted by tibubusiko 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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All These Years!

We finally talked 15 years after the divorce.

Much of what is here is fiction. It is set in an alternate universe where the laws are slightly different. If any of you is a lawyer and would like to correct on legal facts, please go ahead. Just remember, this story is not about reality. This story is for the enjoyment to those who have been duped and plundered by cheating bitches and honorable courts.

She got down from her car and walked towards the house. She is not as beautiful as she was once. She is not as young as she was once either. She, however, is still the same bitch who p... Continue»
Posted by magas911 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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