Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 70
I am asking the translator what that means: The Revenge. There is no revenge in my story! And she says it is a kind of joke. Like the Electric Boogaloo. I do not understand why that is funny, but she is telling me to trust her, and continue with my story.
When we grew awake in the morning, Svetlana wanted more sexy sexy time, but I said to not. Because Mr. Aronoff would be there soon to pick us up for the bus ride back to home. Svetlana, who looked more like Serge in the morning, said quietly, he did not want to go back home. I pushed him into the shower to wash off the cosmetics fro... Continue»
We had just left Savannah, Georgia, and were heading back north to Ft. Bragg, N.C. We were in my 68 Convertible Corvette, and Anya was always a horny b---h, when I started to play with her pussy, and she reached over and pulled my shorts down to my feet, and started to suck me. I was passing a panel van, when I looked over and saw this young driver looking at us and grinning, and giving me the thumbs up. I pulled her mini-skirt up around her waist, exposing her beautiful ass in a thong. Next thing I knew there were 2 more heads looking out the same window, with sh-t eating grins on their faces... Continue»
Bill had left for work an hour earlier. His last action before shutting the door was a perfunctory kiss on her cheek as he hurried out the door, his mind already occupied on the day's events. Again, he had missed the significance of her squeeze on his upper arm; again he missed entirely, the questioning look she gave his retreating back.
"Jay; get up, you're going to be late." Jean shouted at the top of her voice over the edge of the banister. Jamie was a typical angst ridden teenage young man, lazy and disinclined to venture out of bed before the last minute, or he had ... Continue»
Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.
Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.
Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.
Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Recently I made an unexpected big splash in our new neighborhood. We just moved to a new home the end of this past week. The home was a former model home and it was the largest of the three model homes in a model center that was sold off and the previous office. So, naturally the home has all the bells and whistles. Well, that is except one thing... they disarmed the alarm system when we closed on the house. I noticed this when we were opening and closing the door constantly moving furniture in the front door. I wasn’t hearing the high pitched “beep” I used to hear when we first viewed the hou... Continue»
Guys always say that it's easy for a woman to get some dick. Maybe that's true but then, what kind of dick is she gonna get ? Tonight, alone, k**s gone to their dad's, making some calls to some guys, but no one is answering their cell. Call up my Jamaican friend, n/a, call up my African friend, n/a, call up my American friend who's in S.A. and he says he'll call me back, but then, no news.
Oh ! almost forgot, I called up two different Haitian guys, but N/A !! lol
So, I figure, I'm gonna smoke some weed, watch a porn and play with myself but realize, after I start watching this vid that ... Continue»
My name is Teja people say I look a like the actress kavya madhavan and I am in quiet fair and slightly hairy on my hands and my stats are 34 30 36 ( during I was at my 20's). I am married with one k** and I was at my early 20s when this happen to me. Me and my hubby are happily married coupled after the first year of our marriage I gave birth to my son during that time we called up the local temple gurukal for our baby naming ceremony.
On that day I still remember it was around 11 am and the gurukal came to our house. He wa
Step 1: Advice for him
You may feel that you have expressed yourself quite enough, perhaps you have expressed yourself a number of times, and feel spent. But it's essential you stay awake for long enough to make her feel loved. You may have to fight the urge to sl**p, but remember now it's time for her to unload all over you.
Speed up the process by making encouraging noises and agreeing to everything she says. The Past Master of this was Marlon Brando, who put his incredible success with women down to the pose of propping himself up on his elbow, which made him look interested in whatev... Continue»
Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise
sees the neighbor's k** walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy yells back, "Roll of chicken wire."
The old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"
The boy says, "Catch some chickens."
The old man yells, "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's
surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30
It was 2002,I took a holiday to Ibiza with a girl I had been seeing for about a month,kind of a fuck buddy thing going on,well,to me it was. We booked the holiday for 10 days so there was plenty of time to fit a lot in,but mainly we were there for the clubs,the pills and the thrills,anyone that's been to ibiza will know what i'm talking about.Back home we were serious into clubbing too,that was our lifestyle cos we were young and enjoying ourselves.
Anyway one night we were out,I think it was at ''Space'',a well known club in ibiza, when we bumped into a group of girls from back home.I didn... Continue»
Attended a friends Xmas party and boy did it turn into strip poker. Party lasted until 4am. 8 females and 10 guys. Everybody got fucked, pussy ate and dicks sucked. I mean dicks were getting sucked left and right. I saw one girl with dick up her assz that dick was huge. It was good clean fun. I got my pussy ate and ass hole licked. Then some much needed dick from my date. He was so excited. He had never been to such a party were one minute you was dancing and partying then next getting some ass. I took him in the a room with another female had her suck his dick some more. Then he stuck it in m... Continue»
So the other day me and my girlfriend were home and her mom and b*****r stopped by the house real quick to bring us something for us. Well, when the 3 of them were in the living room I went to me and my girlfriends bedroom to get my phone, let's say I didn't get close to the phone. I was in the mood to fuck and cum on some heels, which I wished I would have had the camera. So while they're still in the living room I dig through our closet and get out the victim: A beautiful 4 inch, Nine West, black leather round toe heel(Yeah I gave the brand and type of heel, gotta make a story great with det... Continue»
It's the thirty first century and I'm a cop who just completed an assignment. Me and my parner busted some d**g kingpin importing d**gs from another planet making a killing. The d**g was similar to cocaine but only stronger and the both of us came and closed up shop permanently. Afterwards I went straight home and took a long warm shower. I stood there and let the water come crashing down my body feeling all the tension float away after a long day of catching the bad guys and kicking ass. ... Continue»
When I was a c***d I was told more than one time to stop grinding my teeth. One day,
while I lay in bed as a boy, grinding my teeth thoughtlessly! I loved the way it made my teeth just vibrate, and the shaking
that went through my gums, but then that scrilling voice came, from my parents room," Stop Grinding your god-dam- teeth, or
pitch a tent in the yard, and sl**p in it, I am trying to sl**p!" I had been yelled at for the last time over this kind creepy
hobby of mine! So, I started re channeling the energy to nibbling the end of my... Continue»
Carol held her coffee as though it was the elixir of life. It very well looked like it was, too; in the cafe’s more direct light, Jake could make out dark circles under her eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Are you alright?” Jake asked. “You look…”
“...like hell,” Petra offered.
Carol gave that crooked smile again. Something about it was really familiar. “I’ll be fine. It’s just… really exhausting getting here.”
Jake shook his head. “I don’t get it. Getting here? From where? And why?”
Carol chuckled. “You know, my father told me you’d ask that. He said you’d be… ‘methodically and relen... Continue»
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sl**ping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone withou... Continue»
Today was the most horrible day of my life. It all started going wrong when my old boss (and I do mean 'old'), Mr. Schmidt, took a leave of absence due to health reasons. He was old, but he was also a secretary's dream boss. Okay, he was a little wrinkly and a little smelly, which made it no fun going down on him, but on the bright side, I only had to go down on him once . . . maybe twice a week. He would even ask my opinion on things and pretty much let me take care of most of his assignments without a lot of interference. And a woman being able to work without a lot of interfe... Continue»
The Karim s Studio
The morning sun broke out earlier than usual and was cajoling my face rather sharply through our bedroom window. I woke up, preparing myself for another hot & humid day. It was a proper May. My husband, Raj was on the last stretch of his sl**p. He really appreciates that part. So, not wanting to disturb him I sneaked out of the room and headed for the toilet. When I am in there, I started brushing my teeth and felt the totally damp nightie clinging on to my back due to the power cut we had earlier in the morning. The same soaked... Continue»
Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
i was a bit young and for legal reasons im not telling you my age when i lost my virginaty but i will tell you this, NEVER FUCK A GIRL THAT HAS A STUPID s****r. it was a wednesday and i was walking to my girlfriends house to do.. you know, we enter the house to find only her cat and some beer bottes by her stairs, we disposed the beer bottles and went to her bed room, i startid to kiss her and she pulled my top of, i started to toach her breasts and get more and more sexual towards her, she pulled my trousers down leaving my pants and socks,then she took her top of and skirt, i un-hooked her b... Continue»