Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 70
Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.
He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.
Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
MY FIRST TIME
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."
The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground... Continue»
Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
This is the story about how I lost my virginity. Some of my f****y live in small towns and we i go to visit them, we party (btw, this story is one the main reasons i don't drink anymore). Here I am, enjoying myself, and then all of a sudden, Bam! There she was. She was hot and to be honest, I didn't think I had a change with her. However, with the help of my cousin, I meet her(totally forgot her name). So, were talking and all off a sudden she wanted to dance. In the middle of the 3rd slow jam, I seemed to have "poked" her. Next thing I know, were upstairs. I remember kissing, and getting suck... Continue»
I very rarely go to parties.
Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.
The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.
So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
I am not sure who suggested truth or dare but we all seemed up for it.
There were 6 of us all together you me and two other couples.
It started pretty tame, truths about hoe many people we had slept with, telling fantasies ect .....
I think everyone was getting a bit horny from listening to all this talk if sex and with quite a few drinks down our necks we were all up for some dare's!
One of the girls seemed a bit apprehensive when you asked her to show how she gives head on a banana so we came to an agreement that we would have teams. Boys against girls.
We all did the dare, i showed ... Continue»
My Wife and I felt very uncomfortable with a situation to be happened a few years ago ...
There was a business meeting with a supporting programm for golfers. So, we decided to go together there ...
We worked hard at day an had a funny evening in the wine yards benath RHINE, Germany ...
And, as always, we belonged to the last at the bar ...
You have to know, that SHE can squirt as hell, when she is in the right mood ...
This night she was in the right mood, and so were I ...
Next day we had business as usual and in the afternoon some golfing ...
The next and last morning, ... Continue»
It just occurred to me why I like tribbing. Tribbing, for those of you who don't know, is when two girls do a scissor lock on each others naked pussies. They rub their pussies together, causing pressure and some friction. Their clits make contact and they start to get wet, and then they slip and slide against each others creamy, dewy pulsating pussies. Erotic as hell! I start sneezing whenever I see it!
I'VE tribbed with a girl! Yes sir, I'm a 110% hetero male, but I tribbed with my girl friend way back when the earth was flat and young people felt not pain or knew what it was like ... Continue»
I didn’t think I’d hear from Sarah the Slut again, after this blog caused her to break up with her boyfriend, but last week she rang me and said she needed someone to talk to. She came over to my place and obviously wanted to talk about something, but couldn’t find a way of starting the subject. I gave her a few drinks and she started to talk. She’d been up to her slutty ways again. She said…..
‘I just have to talk to someone. I must tell someone, I just must. I’ve been so, so bad and I can’t sl**p just thinking about it.
It was a couple of weeks ago. You remember Maria, the Fren... Continue»
When I was uni-student. One day I was going to a book store by motorcycle.
I was aware a woman walking this way. Passing beyond, we turned our eyes each other.
I murmured "she is tight!" in my heart. When I was reading a book in a sotre, someone
stood by me and pushed stucked book down to my side ..
I faced that person. She was there! She didn't look at me but seemed to expect something.
After a while she moved to exit and stopped to face me for a moment.
I was too square to chase her. I should have done it.... Continue»
As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.
When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.
Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
You wanna do what ?!!
I want you to lay down on your stomach. I'm gonna rub this vial of baby oil on your ass cheeks and then I'm going to rub my dick in the crack of your ass until I cum. Preferably, I'd like to rub said cum all over your ass cheeks with my dick.
Man, you crazy ... Crazy as fuck.
But I got money.
I pulled a loose wad of cash from my pocket and gestured towards the prostitute. She giggled like an old hag and reached for the money.
you sure that's all you wanna do right ? I mean you aint gonna slip inot the booty hole or nothin and cla... Continue»
This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
A vicar asks his congregation if anyone would like to express thanks for their answered prayers.
A young woman makes her way to the front of the church and turns to face the congregation. "I would like to give thanks to my answered prayers! she announces. "Six months ago, my husband, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was agonizing and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
A stifled gasp came from every man in the congregation as they imagined the pain that the poor man must have experienced.
The young woman continued, "My ... Continue»
A little background: Eddie, a friend of mine, and I take alternate shifts at a security office. The office is usually quiet, we just have to be there, be responsible, watch the monitors, that sort of thing. At night no one ever visits.
Well, no one except Eddie's wife Susie. She's half-Chinese, very attractive, very outgoing, and with a mouth and attitude like a Marine on shore leave! She'd had quite an upbringing in this Navy town and was quite the handful for her Chinese father, a first-generation immigrant, and her American redneck mother! (Those two are another whole story, but ne... Continue»
Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Not only country boys know how to survive even though
the song that tells of their prowess would leave that
impression. We country girls have ways of seeing to
our needs also, and can do that quite well thank you.
One of our country girl needs is to keep down the
level of sexual stress to a point where we can
function otherwise. Of course, there are lots of ways
to do that and we usually find them and that's what
this little story is about, how I found mine.
I suppose I was like most girls in discovering the
exquisite pleasures my clitty could provide. My
fingers and th... Continue»
I'm feeling pretty good today. An old friend of mine stopped by last night and we slept together. Susan is a gorgeous 38 year old redhead with a luscious body and a pair of really big breasts. When she gets excited, which is pretty much all the time, her nipples swell hugely. I swear that they become an inch long and they're very thick too. I just love to suck on them. Her clitoris swells hugely too and it is heaven to suck it into your mouth.
Susan and I didn't get to bed (sl**p) until pretty early this morning because we were in this 69 for two or three hours last night. I... Continue»