Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 70
An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.
The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?
The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WE... Continue»
Two hours ago, it was a good day.
I was with my parents out for a weekend of scuba diving and sun tanning off the coast of Catalina. A much needed weekend of relaxation brought to us through spontaneous means (my pops had cracked a screw and instead of a sports car for his mid-life crisis, he bought a rather big yacht). And so we'd been enjoying the sun after a nice afternoon dive. Armed with margaritas and not a care in the world. That is what I call blissful.
Thirty minutes ago, we received the warning.
Any good sailor knows to check the weather reports ... Continue»
Derek has challenged my manhood and his Ultimatum was this. I was to make sweet love to his deeply devoted Cheerleader girlfriend by the end of the school day which was already over. As I jogged up the steps a thought occurred to me. The women I've slept with so far have seen single or desperate. Mrs. Macy was sexually frustrated because her husband was away, Nadia was living under the yolk of her traditional Grandfather and Natalie...well it's hard to meet someone of substance when you take your clothes off for a living.
Without thinking I burst into the main entrance and narrowly missed a... Continue»
When i was 18 i had my first orgy ...it was me, my boy, this girl i had just met, and her friend. It all started at cici's (pizza buffet) me and my boy had walked in to grab a bite when we came across two big booty chicks ...we hit it off and started talking after five min's into the convo 1 of the girls asked if we wanted to fuck!!!! lol i know i couldn't believe it myself it was as if an angel came down and sprinkled pussy juices all over my throbbing cock ..... i was so shocked that they were so strait fwd i pulled my boy to the side and told him "man no homo b*o but this is a one inna life... Continue»
Once there was a traveling sales man named John, selling his wares on the back roads of Iowa. One evening, he was lost, driving down a deserted country road. When he hit a pothole in the night, it threw him across the ditch and into a tree. John got out of the car, he wasn't hurt but the car wasn't going anywhere. He looked up and down the road. No one would be traveling these roads this late at night he thought. So he picked a direction and started walking.
As John walked in the dark, he could hear all the sounds of the night. "What was that?... "He startled, "Oh just an owl." Then a coyo... Continue»
Well, it’s time to really annoy my ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend, Chris, again, with even more evidence of what an exhibitionist slut she really is.
Sarah and I used to live together in the city of Bath (UK). Some Saturdays we would go to a café for morning coffee, in the city, to read the morning papers. One time we went there, Sarah was wearing a fairly short skirt, certainly above knee-length, which had a bit of a split up one side. We went into an open courtyard of the café, walking down some open, iron steps, almost like a fire escape to get to the tables. At the bottom was a ta... Continue»
This is a true story, one that I often think about and wish I wasn't such a nice guy! DX
So a brief bit of background: During my 2nd year of university I met a girl (Leanne) at a party, I'm not a drinker and I'm not really a party goer kinda guy, but I went to this one after another friend said itd be fun. Anyway I actually became quite good friends with this girl, not in a romantic way but in a genuine I like hanging out with this person kinda way. She quickly became one of my closest and trusted friends who I was always happy to help!
She then later started dating my oldest friend a... Continue»
After chatting with someone online one night, the recommended me check out this site. All I can say is I love it, brings back so many memories of great times.
I may have a number of episodes of things involving my 1st wife over the years we were married. But, I guess I need to start off at the beginning. These things took place many years ago, when sex health concerns were different. Plus we lived in a small town, AIDs was not an issue at the time, and other STDs were not common there either. Needless to say, she much preferred bareback and receiving semen internally.
So, my story starts... Continue»
Hi, this is Lalita again and I’m 19years old. I’ve dated only 3 guys in my life and had sex with one. I love having physical relationships. I’m 5 foot 5 in, slim, and my stats are 36-28-36. I have fairly big boobs and I love having them admired from men. This is my second story and I’m happy that you liked my first one “Boob pressed by rickshawala.” so here it goes…
So, it had been three weeks but still the memory was fresh as new in my head. It went on and on like a tape in my mind making me horny every time. Though, it was
Trevor found himself lying half naked in a bush, his shirt was off and his pants were around his ankles.
"How did I get here!" he asked himself.
He looked around at his surroundings and as he picked up his clothes which were strewn across the yard his memory came flooding back.
Several hours earlier...
Trevor had made a huge mess of things. His Spring Break visit was supposed to be a time to reconnect with his f****y but instead he brought a boozed up Bar Fly home for a romp in his Superman sheets.
After a weekend of apologising he had finally set things right with his mother ... Continue»
I awoke to the annoying loud sound of my alarm going off.
I turned it off and laid in my bed for a few moments contemplating the day ahead. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm very likely to run into those cruel girls from yesterday again, and a big grin crept across my face.
I jumped out of bed, bounced around getting dressed putting on my silly uniform, ran down the hall to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my messy bedhead hair.
"Have a nice day!" I cheerily told my reflection in the mirror, and hopped off down the stairs and rushed out the door. I was so excited, for the f... Continue»
I woke to the sound of the shower water running. I looked at the clock and saw it was time to start thinking about dinner. I had promised Lizvette a daddy-daughter date at a romantic restaurant. She said she wanted a steakhouse. My business associate, Greg, with whom I was to meet tomorrow morning, suggested Shanahan's. He said it is pricey, knowing my expense account limits, but worth it for a fine dining experience. It was a weeknight but I thought I had better phone ahead to reserve a table just to be safe. I was on the phone with the hostess when Lizvette emerged from the bathroom drying... Continue»
A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX HE SAYS I CAN'T I AN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE SAYS I WONT SAY. SO THEY DID. WHEN THEY DONE SHE SAYS U CAN TAK... Continue»
This is the continuing saga of Melissa, a woman who is redescovering her sexuality. Please read part one before you read this one. It will really be to your benefit.
“You seem to have outdone yourself with dinner today,” her husband complimented her as he put his fork through the salad and brought it to his mouth.
Melissa shuddered and felt a tingling between her legs as she watched parts of the cucumber disappear between his lips. If only he knew where that cucumber has been, she thought to herself and pictured how she only an hour ago had been sitting in fro... Continue»
James,s Big Day,Saturday11th July 2015,06.30am.
My plan was for me to awaken him,Wrong,I was awoken with James,s Cock sliding up & down between my Buns,his left hand wrapped around my Cock & Scrotum,giving me gentle squeezes,he was just about to slip his Cock into me,I pulled his hand away from me & Bailed out of bed.
"No Fucking Way,you got a Busy day,& Happy Birthday James"I said,I ran around to his side of the bed,pinning him down in the bed I gave him a Wet Sloppy Kiss,he wanted me to get back in bed with him,I pulled away from him & headed into our shower room & toilet.
I did my toilet... Continue»
All at once, Maria's limp lady stick transformed itself from lifeless shell into
The Incredable s/he Hulk. I had to keep opening my mouth to keep it all in.
Precum started to pour down my lips and chin onto to my bra. That precum was rapidly replaced by genuine girlie man paste.
I would have been laughing but it was like being
water boarded with seamen. I was drowning in hir cum. Holeee SHIT!
I swear I should have been a sex ther****t. It would be my mission to make
sure before some transgen... Continue»
Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Dr. C. Chambers Post, grew up in a religious Roman Catholic home in a working class neiborhood in Queens, NY. As a young man, he knew he was different from the other boys in his school. But with a strong religious mother and distant transit worker father, he felt it best to keep his sexual predilictions to himself. He was tall, 6'2", handsome, young man with a well built body. As a 17 yo high school senior, he enjoyed being persued by the young ladies in their circle of friends. His two older b*****rs had followed their father in the transit buisness, where if they worked hard for 25... Continue»
A man starts chatting up a girl in a nightclub. He mentions he plays the sax and because of that he's pretty good with his mouth. The girl takes him up on it- he's not bad looking. He mentions his job takes him all over the place so he's staying at the hotel nearby, but when she tries to find out what he does he won't say. They head back to his room and start fucking and having a pretty good time. But just before he starts to climax, he pulls out of her pussy, runs across the room to his sax, plays a couple of chords and shoots his load at her across the room right onto the... Continue»
Sally's brain activated before her body. A switch came on inside her head, a rusty and disused one, like forcing an old circuit breaker back up. Must open eyes, she thought, but can't, they're too heavy. She felt her face pressed into the surface as if it had been in that one spot for years. She could feel the dents in her skin, the old pool of dribble at the corner of her mouth. Where was she, she tried to remember. Boom boom, throbbing in her head. Aah, came the quiet moan from her throat, her mouth as dry as sandpaper. What was she doing before this, she tried to remember but thinking was l... Continue»