Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

Becoming my bosses

My name is jess I'm a account ex. at a good frim I have been here about 5yrs. at 28 yrs. old I would say that being 5'8" and only 108lbs. 34c and not what most people would say stuning I've done pretty good this job a loving hubby and my little 4yr. old son.

So here is how it happen Tony (my boss) and myself were working on an account very hard late nites and long hard days this account could be the begining of something great to the frim so it was a must do sort of thing, after three weeks of this we findly came up with the right campain for the client and it felt great, The frim was... Continue»
Posted by shotguner 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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1night

going out to the bar was something i didnt do often. I usually was a more reserved type of guy .So on this night i dont know what lead me to a strip bar but there i was with a facefull of tittys and ass and throwing back shots of henny when suddenly i was approached by this beatiful woman by the name of red you see this woman was not any ordainary woman this woman knew what she wanted and knew what she liked she was a freak im talking the true def.....of nasty, sheliked objects in her ass she liked to be slapped and called a stank nasty cunt she was really into shit like that and it turned me ... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 6 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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The Affairs

Introduction: not so sexy


> The 1st Affair
>
> A married man was having an affair
> with his secretary.
> One day they went to her place
> and made love all afternoon.
> Exhausted, they fell asl**p
> and woke up at 8 PM ..
> The man hurriedly dressed
> and told his lover to take his shoes
> outside and rub! them in the grass and dirt.
> He put on his shoes and drove home.
> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
> "I can't lie to you," he replied,
> "I'm having an affair with my secretary.
> We had sex all afternoon."
> She looked down at his shoes and said:
> ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The teacher and the student - Part 3 (A loving tri

I had an appointment with Nanci scheduled for late Tuesday afternoon.
She was stressed-out and there was no reason to prolong her agony over her grades, and I was going to let her off the hook.
Even knowing that my coed selection had already been made for the year and she was no longer a possibility, Nanci still made me silently gasp as she walked through the door, and I could see the truly radiant beauty that she was. Even with her eyes downcast and a frown on her face, she was gorgeous.

After she was seated, I explained that I had been watching her progress in class and on the essays... Continue»
Posted by elausente 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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First Fuck Flop (Non-fiction)

Every word of the following first-hand account is true, as best I can remember:

It was the summer of '91, and I had recently moved to Lancaster, CA from Northern California. I was 16 years old, and horny as hell pretty much all the time. If you've read my other true story about my first orgasm, then you know that this story begins about two years after that.

I ran with some "interesting" people when I was younger...pretty much anyone I might meet at a party, at a dealer's house, perhaps at school when I wasn't ditching, etc...and even though I wasn't a bad looking guy, and ... Continue»
Posted by femalesonly 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Our First Anal

We were mostly curious people when it came to sex and we were pretty open about our desires and fantasies and today as we cuddled together on the sofa in front of the TV the subject of anal sex came up. I'm not sure why but it came into the conversation.

It was something that neither of had tried, maybe it was fear or caution. "What do you think of anal sex?" I asked.
You look up at me, quizzically, "Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering if you've ever tried it?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.
You give it some thought for a moment before answering. "I don't know" you say "Doesn't... Continue»
Posted by somedude2 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Sex tutoring mother and daughter





After my PG I joined a nationalised bank in Chennai. I was new to this place and people refused to give rooms to outsiders without proper introduction. I roamed around an finally got one room in a dingy locality with bathroom facility Somehow I wanted to stay and I thought I can change the room later to a convenient location.

My neighbour an elderly man working in a private firm, once asked me whether I am willing to take tuition for a college going girl for mat
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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sunny's wife's away

Sunny Brown’s wife Valerie, a hospital senior dietician, had gone to Sydney for an advanced hospital nutrition and food services management course for a month and Sunny's missing her and missing connecting with her vagina. Equally distressing he was missing her superior cooking compared to his best endeavours and generally most restaurant meals he’d had didn’t measure up either.

But he survived without complaint and cooked some of his dinners, mainly sticking with chicken fried rice or mince on toast or a roast. Two bright spots were invitations on week one and week two from two friends, we... Continue»
Posted by sunnybrown 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Tale Of Humpy

Humpy McSaddle greeted the following day with a sly, clownish smile on his face, and it never left. Not that day, nor in the weeks that followed. She came to him most every day now, never at the same time. If she didn't appear for several days, McSaddle would stomp around the slaughterhouse, out of his mind with the clap, tearing at his hair plugs, bending at the waist to contain the nuclear urgency of his ever-ravenous hump tentacle.

He never knew when she might appear-morning, afternoon, evening. He might be having Taco Bell, and he would feel her near. Or walk by himself to inspect ... Continue»
Posted by Insatiable111 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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More Than Just A Word

Beth smirked at her friend across the room and quickly sipped from her mid afternoon glass of Chablis in an attempt to stop herself from giggling. Jenna, her friend since school, wasn't fairing quite so well in stifling her own fit of girlish giggles. As her shoulders began to silently shake, Beth knew it was only a matter of time before her friend would let out her customary bizarre high pitched whine, which always preceded the inevitable complete break down into hysterics for both women.

Beth had been here many times before. Like the time, many years ago at a party, where Beth awoke to th... Continue»
Posted by stalfonzo 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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hot s****r

i will tell u my story! Sex with friends s****r
when i was 13 my friend's s****r is 8 year elder to me and him and her boobs is round and sexy, her armpits is very smelly and hairy. I often go his house to meet him but side-by-side I want to see his s****r. One day I had gone to his house and his s*s is sl**ping in pajama and her pajama (nightwear) is torn from her panty side and her panty is clearly visible. but i do nothing. After one week i go to his house nd that time he is not in house only his elder s****r is in house lonely in cut sleeves Kurti(top)nd in pajama(bottom wear) she say
... Continue»
Posted by ishaan217 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Being nude short story

I thought I share this story of being nude in not your normal place, anyone a nudist? This is just a little story about a kinky fetishism I came up with about me it maybe a little interesting to you but I just wonder if other people have done anything like this I have been finding out how fun it is to be nude in a strange place to be nude at all. . I have always enjoyed being nude but not in proper places like nudist beaches or camps of any kind so I can't call myself a nudist. Very few times have I been nude with other's in a semi-nonsexual way it's, mostly all been sexual with partners or f... Continue»
Posted by lov2dancecpl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Fight In Mall Gets Melissa Horny

This is a reprint of my first story so please don't get offended by any ethnic slurs as this a true story and is how it happened.

It all started on a rainy Saturday afternoon in July of 2005.
My girlfriend Melissa and I had plans to go on a picnic instead the rain that was predicted for late this evening came early.So Melissa suggested we go to the mall and do some shopping.I was not happy but I needed a few things for my computer.
when we got there it was packed I guess we were not the only ones that changed their plans at the last minute,before I go any further let me describe Meliss... Continue»
Posted by bigrob40 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Jane and the Belly Dancer

Jane and the Belly Dancer

We resumed fucking and for the first time in my life I began to feel sick to my
stomach while having sex. It was time to resume my self coaching.

"This is how I'm gonna someday make THE BIG BUCKS! Just a few more minutes.
Oh shit look at those tits bounce! The way she's moving her legs. OMG OMG OMG!

***********************************************************************

I gazed into the full length mirror inside the dressing room and admired
my new makeover. There was fresh make up on my face which for the first
time ever, included f... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The Alleyway

This particular night came about when a good (a newly discovered lesbian) friend of mine invited me to join her to a "ladies night" at a local gay club. Being an overwhelmingly heterosexual male, I jumped at the idea of attending. All the while thinking, "Maybe there will be some cracking hot chicks who'd want to take turns. etc." My mind ran wild in the day leading up the party. I couldnt contain my excitement, frequently letting my friend know what I was going to do to the "babes" in the club.

The night arrived. I'd groomed myself, gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror, put on the f... Continue»
Posted by sirpsychosexy2011 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Revenge is sweet

A f****y sitting around the dinner table and the son asks if he can ask a question.
The father responds.
Of course,the only question!
The young man asks his dad:
Dad,how many different kinds of breasts are there?
Father,surprised,answers
Well,son,there are three kinds of breasts.
The 20-year-old woman has breasts are like melons, round & firm.
Around 30-40 years of age are like pears still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty,they are like onions.
Onions?
Yes, when you see them and they make you cry.
This outlay was both mother and daughter to see red,so the daughter sa... Continue»
Posted by betty6love6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Giving advice

Part of my job is giving advice to groups of around 40 people; the reason for the small numbers is in my field of work and a lot of individuals need to ask many questions and you could be their all night.
Last Monday I was in Harrogate doing a talk. In the front row, smack in the middle were this good looking couple in their 40s, he had a very expensive suit on and she had this wonderful short dress showing quite a lot of leg extenuating her figure with a nice pair of black and red high heels. As I was talking the woman kept crossing her legs one way then the other and this caused her dress t... Continue»
Posted by joncristo 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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LITTLE JOHNNY......

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:

"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 11

The Italian Job 11
I awoke again about 07.30, it took a few seconds to get my bearings then there was a stirring in my groin and I realised I was spooned up with her again, she turned as she woke bringing her face very close to mine in the bed, I straightened my legs down the bed and she brought her hips into me, passing a leg onto the top of mine, she had her eyes open and she was watching me “are you ok this morning?” she asked “I feel terrific” I replied “ any second thoughts or regrets?” she continued “why should there be?” I countered “last night you had sex with a woman who could be you... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Enjoying during studying in college

That happened to me when I studied at the University. I didn’t live with my parents because in this city we didn’t have a house or some relatives or even friends. I was late to get my name on the list to the college hostel, so I had to rent accommodation just a few blocks from the campus. There were 2 of us, 2 girls who rented one apartment, because it was a bit cheaper for us both to share accommodation fees.
I walked in to the apartment I shared with another girl named Lucy. It was late Friday night. I had been in the library, preparing for my exams on the next Monday. The living room was i... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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