Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

Christmas Holly

It was early Christmas morning; actually it was 1:30am, when Holly awoke and heard and rustle, she couldn`t place where it was coming from. Suddenly she spotted a figure emerge from around the bedroom door. She knew it wasn’t Luke as he had his firm cock nestled along the crack of her bum cheeks; Holly could tell Luke was dreaming of one of the video`s they had watched on xhamster last night.

Suddenly the figure approached the edge of the bed and you Holly saw that it was Flasher974 Santa; he was dressed in a full Father Christmas outfit with hat, beard, coat and red trousers and black sh... Continue»
Posted by flasher974 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 659  |  
86%
  |  2

The Party

I did not write this, just enjoy.



"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settle then," Brenda said happily, ... Continue»
Posted by snake_500011 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 659  |  
87%

--

This is the story of my first sexual experience with another female. I was 27 married for six years. We had a great sex life at first. We had sex several times a week. As time went by our sex life diminished in quality and quantity. My husband Dave began spending more time with the guys than me. He went out with the guys and I got to stay home with our daughter Arielle.

One Friday night when Dave was out playing cards with the guys, I put Arielle to sl**p and went online. Out of a combination of being bored, horny and curious I went into a chat room labeled F4F. When word got out in the roo... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 658  |  
98%
  |  3

Milking the Love

Richard

In the morning the sun was shining right through our front room windows as I walked in wearing nothing but my gown. The carpet is very soft and the whole room was warm. Jenny was in her gown as she reached for a sheet, a large bed sheet that she folded neatly and placed on the floor as she did so she undone my gown and I got down on my hands and knees on the blanket.



Jenny

As I undone Richards gown his penis jumped out to meet me. I completely removed the gown and as Richard got in position I gently moved his legs apart to allow the air to circulate nicely ... Continue»
Posted by Torqy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 658  |  
93%

She Fucked him Good

Eddie McCaethy was a basically a motivator, he had great dental work, sleeked black hair and he wore a tailored suit to perfection. In his seminars, which were billed under the title “The McCaethy Method,” he told people what they already knew and for this they paid three thousand dollars a seat to hear it.

Very few people actually carried out his recommendations because – having been aware of their shortcomings before they entered the hall it was unlikely they would make changes in their life just because someone else pointed it out. Not wanting to work hard and work smart in order to be s... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 6 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 658  |  
100%

TELL MOTHER ...!


A mother had three daughters and, on their wedding, she tells each
one to write back about their married life.

To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly
discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to
using newspaper advertisements as a "code" to let the mother know how
their love lives are going.

The first one gets married and the second day the letter arrives
with a single message, simply: "MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE".

Mother got the newspaper and checked the Maxwell Coffee House
advertisement, and it says:"Satisfaction to the last drop..... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 656  |  
100%
  |  8

The Turkish truck diver

The Turkish truck driver.

She burst through the arrivals door at the airport and into the lounge, I could tell that she was horny because she tried to explore my tonsils with her tongue as soon as we connected, I managed to disengage and said “hello” we hugged close again and she tried to bury her face in my neck attempting to bite me but having experienced this before I was ready for it and managed to hold her off while I picked her bags off the trolley.
This by the way is my current girlfriend, she is American born and works in Switzerland as a P.A to a banking director, she is 32 years ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 655  |  
90%
  |  2

A new found friend.

Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Posted by Mads69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 656  |  
95%
  |  14

My first BBW

The 1st time I had sex with a BBW I was 17. I had sex before that but never with a big girl before but I had seen some BBW porn before and I did like it.

The girl wanted me for months (she had told me afterwards).She was latina, probably about 5'7, and weighed somewhere from 180-200lbs if I had to guess. We would go to the park and she would always bring liquor and we'd share stories of sex. I remember the 1st time I wanted to fuck her she had these tights on that made the outline of her ass and thighs look so plump, so delicious. I tried so hard to hide my dick as it was getting hard.

F... Continue»
Posted by BangxNiggax27 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore, Shemales  |  Views: 654  |  
100%

Friends: Learning to Count to Seven

Chandler had been telling Monica and Rachel about the sex with Kathy the night before. It was alright, but Chandler wanted to really make her scream in pleasure. So Monica had drawn out a diagram showing the seven basic erogenous zones of a woman's body.

"Okay, now, most guys will hit one, two, and three and then go to seven and set up camp, " Monica began.

"And that's bad?" Chandler questioned.

"Well," Rachel replied, "if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Matterhorn."

Chandler countered, "Well you might if it were anything like 'seven'."

Monica got him ... Continue»
Posted by dudeman_85 6 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 654  |  
100%

Last few men on eath (Part 2 )

After getting the best blow job I have ever had I was just lying there thinking why she left just like that. The I was thinking Kim was standing next to us the hole time not really paying attention to what was happening in the room. Then I noticed that Kim was looking at me and I began to think wow I'm still fully naked. I thought to myself I should maybe dress sins I didn’t know what would happen next. Just as I grabbed my underwear to put it on Kim said her first words to me. “You don’t need to do that it’s not over yet.”

My mind got stuck on that not over yet was going to happen. Then I... Continue»
Posted by brendan_69 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 653  |  
100%

Woman's Story: First Fingering

When I had my first fingering, I was fresh out of high school and had just met the man who became my husband. He was a few years older than me but still a virgin and I was his first girlfriend. I too was a virgin. It was two weeks after we started dating that he wanted to fuck me. I wanted to fuck him too. He came by one night and we were out in the front of my parents’ house. We started kissing and he started to feel me up. He slipped his hand underneath my shirt and starting playing with my swollen nipples. Gosh, that felt good. He lowered himself down and starting sucking on them. Then h... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 652  |  
100%
  |  2

Sexy Studying Sessions!

Honor looked at me from across the bed and caught my eyes staring at her fiery red hair.

"Are you ok Tommy," She asked, "I really need you to help me with these Maths problems and then we can concentrate on Physics"

We were both 16 and in Year 11 at our school. We had been good friends for ages and as our exams were fast approaching she had asked me to help her with her Maths, and in return i asked her to help me with my Physics. I had fancied her like mad for years but had never had the courage to ask her out.

"Yeah, i'm fine, just distracted a little." I replied, never taking my eye... Continue»
Posted by tomtheaussie 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 651  |  
100%
  |  1

Han Valen Production office stow aways

Another show, another rigging call. The glamorous life of a big rock show usually begins at 6 AM in the morning putting the rigging in place that holds those massive sound and lighting systems in the air.

This day was starting out like any other. I got to the Arena around 5:15 AM so I could let in the caterers and stagehands. I got the guard to open to door and he went back on his cart to his office. I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the production office. When I got there I opened the door and there was a young girl sitting the desk. She kind of startled me. I asked if I could h... Continue»
Posted by kdrummer 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 649  |  
73%

Make Yourself Cum

Let me start by saying I have an over active sex drive. I could be doing anything, and suddenly I become unexpectedly aroused. Sometimes even the littlest things can set me off anything from putting clothes in the washer to an erotic glance from an interesting stranger. The smell of fresh cut grass, and the feel of it on my bare feet can bring back a flow of memories of previous outdoor sexual experiences.

Anyway when the urge hits me unexpectedly, I choose to masturbate and after the last time I decided to share my personal experience with everyone..


I ran to my bedroom and sla... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 645  |  
89%
  |  1

Quality Not Quan-titty

(A short poem written in praise of my lovers' boobies, all of them regardless of size - and I include my own rather large ones in that category because nobody loves mine more than I do, with the possible exception of my lovely husband! Don't be fooled by the fact that it appears to be written from the male perspective - disregard gender as well as size. It's all about the love of boobies in general, but through my eyes and my lusts!)




My lover's tits are so tiny,

It's so plain for all to see,

Though my lover's tits are so tiny,

She sure loves them - just like me!

... Continue»
Posted by optanda 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 644  |  
55%
  |  19

MY SEXY WIFE LIKES OLDER MEN

MY SEXY WIFE LIKES OLDER MEN

When I married my wife Sally I knew she had a thing for older men so it was no surprise to me when we were invited to my boss’s retirement party at the home of the director of the company home,

You see Sally who is 34 is a real sexy woman and always dresses sexy she has a great body and a nice pair of legs with a great rear and a rather large bust which is very firm I can confirm that she gives a great tit fuck so it’s no wonder she attracts so much male attention when ever she goes out,

But she seems to love the company of older men she always liked the x... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 9 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 649  |  
100%

The Gamer

I laid across the bed on my stomach holding myself up by my elbows wearing just a T-shirt and my boxers looking up at the computer screen with the controller in my hands as my Guild and I marched boldly into the Forsaken Fortress to finally take down the Necromancer King. “This is it you guys” I said over the team channel knowing that this was going to be a long and tough fight, “I need a Defense boost” Shadow_Heart said over the comm. It didn’t take long for Elfkiller1 to start boosting everyone’s STATS, “first one to die has to put 500 gold into the guild bank” The-Bone-Eater said with a gig... Continue»
Posted by Rust1 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 644  |  
100%

Teens 2

Story 2

Crazy hippie junky love, that was all about the relationship between Marry and Alex. They would take every toilet in every bar, every party we went, and every scene with them ended up with them fucking like crazy. Unfortunately she was really a junky in those days so, of course she was slowly changing him too.
One day I was in the kitchen, drinking some beer, when they came to me laughing. Marry sat down, took some beer and light a cigarette. She was dressed in one of those colorful dresses, and a leather jacket that I guess it was her guys’. She looked damn hot. “You know what ... Continue»
Posted by HerbaAlice 2 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 644  |  
100%
  |  4

CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 643  |  
91%
  |  3