Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

Omegle Roleplay: Random day at the office

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like roleplay.

You: Its 3pm, you get to your desk and on your computer you get an anonymous message: “You look great in that skirt today!”
Stranger: I'm kinda startled, but, after a second, answer anyway. "Thanks, I guess... Who is this?"
You: I chuckle and respond: "Well that would spoil the fun, if i told you, wouldn't it?"
Stranger: "How do you even know I'm wearing a skirt? I don't have a webcam..." I start feeling a little uncomfortable.
You: "You passed right by me today" (you work in a big office with lots of desks)
S... Continue»
Posted by mayhem13 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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First with my teacher

Hello buddies it's a true story. Two main characters raj and geetha. raj is a student , studying in high school age 18. Geetha is a teacher in that high school super hot teacher age 28 , married .

Story begin here ,Raj is a good boy , but bad in studies .geetha is a friend of raj's mother.so raj is afraid in periods of geetha . she is a maths teacher , raj had many dreams about geetha . Because she is very beauty some 36-28-36 . a perfect figure . geetha as a soft corner for raj always . she used to boost up his marks .

one day raj went to geetha's house on Sunday to clear some... Continue»
Posted by rocky005 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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fuck

1. Cut your finger nails!
This is such a simple little thing, but it goes a long way. You will be hard pressed to find any area on her body more sensitive than her vagina (inside and out), and the LAST thing you want to do is completely ruin the mood with a scratch. How do you know if your nails are cut short enough? Touch your gums with the tips of your fingers, how do they feel? If you're not sure, cut them. (If you're having daily sex with your partner, you might be cutting your fingernails as often as every 2-3 days.) But believe me, it's THAT important.
2. Listen and pay attention (in b... Continue»
Posted by manaliheel 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Why do so many people want me to friend them?

Why is it so many people want to be my friend? I mean seriously. You don't have to be friends with somebody in order to be friends. Some of my best friends aren't my friends, but we're really, REALLY GOOD friends. Then on the other hand, some of my friends aren't friends at all. We're just friends, is all. It's a shame, but that the way it is sometimes.

So why do you want to be my friend? We don't know each other. Out of the clear blue you swoop down and say, "HEY! You want to be friends?" --I don't know you! For all I know, you could be an axe murderer! Or worse, you co... Continue»
Posted by George178 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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sex story patr I (sonnnyla) for me

You receive an email. 'I will drive the van, meet me under the lampost down at **** stree, 10:45pm'.. where your hottest outfit, and sexiest underwear
(next day) . Drivings tough, the fog thick everywhere, from the van I see what appears to be a high end e****t in a red overcoat, the light from the lampost shines down upon her. Her hair is glistening. locks flowing, lips so juicy, Her nipples appear to be erect under the lights gaze.I pull over ... 'get in the back'.
The van door closes and remains the same for 30 mins. It stops, arriving at what appears to be a lush hotel. 'Ladies first',... Continue»
Posted by JessicaBrown 1 year ago  |  Categories: Voyeur, Sex Humor, Fetish  |  
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back seat blowy

I had just broke up with my ex and met a girl in a town 30 mins away and my buddy was interested in her friend so it was good for both of us to drive there, we got there and the girls looked great and being kinda hick my buddy and i looks well hick, we went to a movie and then got a bit to eat (it was summer and nice out) we then desided that we could both push i luck if we go outta town were there was a park so we went there and me and the girl i hard my eye on went to the play ground and my buddy and his girl were walking around me and the girl started making out and bein inosent she was a l... Continue»
Posted by freek0418 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Happy 2013 Newyear

2012-2013!
by Peter Leo.
approaching the door of our suite, with key in hand, i think with a frown how late business took me and that you’ll be fast asl**p. so knowing my fate, with the stealth of a cat burglar, i quietly slip the key into the lock of the knob. pushing the door open i enter soundlessly. wanting, but not wanting to wake you. i listen in hopes that you aren’t sl**p. but as i make my way into the darkened room, i see your cloths strewn over a chair near the bed. making out your soft steady breathing, that of someone lost in dreamland. “damn”, i mumble.
... Continue»
Posted by waxbat 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Chevy in the Barn

Once there was a traveling sales man named John, selling his wares on the back roads of Iowa. One evening, he was lost, driving down a deserted country road. When he hit a pothole in the night, it threw him across the ditch and into a tree. John got out of the car, he wasn't hurt but the car wasn't going anywhere. He looked up and down the road. No one would be traveling these roads this late at night he thought. So he picked a direction and started walking.

As John walked in the dark, he could hear all the sounds of the night. "What was that?... "He startled, "Oh just an owl." Then a coyo... Continue»
Posted by MesfordK 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Fantasy

Walking to my desk, I dropped my damp towel to the floor and grabbed some lotion. The cool liquid soothed my heated skin from the shower as I massaged it into my body; thinking of his warm lips tending softly to the sensitive skin of my neck suddenly made me very aroused. I closed my eyes as I ran my hands gently over my breasts; his hot tongue flicking across my nipple in the forefront of my mind. My whole body heated up as thoughts of Eddie fucking me built up, and I soon found myself on the soft duvet of my bed with my hands between my legs. Eddie always knew what he was doing; he always kn... Continue»
Posted by ella-x 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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What attracts women to older men?

Professor David Perrett, of the University of St Andrews, said that the characteristics of our parents are imprinted in our minds as c***dren, so that we remember and recognise our parents from a very early age.

This is a result of observing our families at close quarters and is seen in other mammals, reports the Daily Mail.

But it seems these "remembered" characteristics do go on to influence who we find attractive in later life.

The researchers conducted a large-scale survey, asking 300 men and 400 women (all of whom were in a relationship and who had been brought up by two paren... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Moms Secret Chapter TWO

Author's Note: Thanks for the patience. This chapter will contain some i****t elements, though it won't directly involve the son and mother just yet. If you're not comfortable with the idea of i****t, you could either skip some of the paragraphs in this chapter or just go on to read Ch. 03.

For Ch.03, I plan to write the mother's perspective which will briefly cover what happened in these two chapters, as well as other events that happened after - without the i****t.

Ch. 04 will be either the son or the mother WITH i****t. I haven't yet decided. It may depend on what the readers want or ... Continue»
Posted by sassygeorge 6 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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WILL'S FANTASY PART 1

I come to be with you in USA.
You take me to your home and we talk as you get me settled in the guest room.
Wanting to take things slow till we both feel ready for more.
We grow closer as the days go by and I know what I want.
I go to the garage to help you fix the car ,wearing a dress and bringing a small hamper of snacks (short bread biscuits,strawberries ,whipped cream and chocolate sauce )for later ...
I stand there ,in the door way ,smiling as you tell me I am not dressed for garage work...
You hand me overalls...
I look into your eyes & smile at you then drop my gaze & gigg... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Party Girl

"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place we are going will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settled then," Brenda said happily, "we're gonna go!!!

... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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First Time

Back in, I believe 2009, I was confronted by an ex in the middle of a park.

She confessed herself, before we knew it we were making-out for a good half hour before she took me down to the beach and into a small wooded area. She laid there before we started in on each other, it was probably one of the hottest moments of my life.
15 Minutes later she started to ride me like her life depended on it, unfortunately so old man walked over and was about to take a piss. The moment was ruined in second.

It didn't end well, but still a first time is a first time.... Continue»
Posted by 7inchesofheaven 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Knock on the door

I hear a knock at the door and come to answer it, hoping that it's u and not someone else about to see me in a tight schoolgirl outfit. I open the door and breathe a sigh of relief as I see U standing there. Ur jaw drops as U take in what I’m wearing, the tight top perfectly showing off my ample tits as well as most of my lacey bra, while the bottom half could barely be said to be a skirt with it rising just above my ass, teasing of what's underneath. I smile and say hi as we move inside, u shut the door behind u but cant take ur eyes off my sexy ass. We've barely walked inside when u spin me ... Continue»
Posted by claireidare 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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LittleMissLipService offers Doug an Apology

Hi all....I have been so bad about posting stories here,
I actually enjoy writing when I have the time and have many, many great true stories that I want to share with all of you naughty perverts ;)

So watch this space for several new stories shortly.....
This is an entry that I wanted to share with you about something that happened earlier this evening when I offered to take a fellow Xhamster writer's fantasy and flesh it out into a story...... They had no interest in doing it and I and several other readers thought it started out very sexily and then just died off - we wanted our Happ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissLipService 5 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Going Fishin'

Introduction: A tale with a twist

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go but, what can they do...

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man! How long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The night bef... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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What to do For an Encore

"Back in med evil days Gay sex was more in the open."

"Behold Hector, someone with their head and arms
caught in the stockade. Let us make haste
and part his ass cheeks forthwith!"

"You go ahead Orville I will go to the village and summon
the brethren so we can have a proper gang bang!"

*********************************************************************

The room was filled with cigarette smoke. But that wasn't a problem for two reasons. One we weren't at work and two I had started smoking again to help me over the estrogen roller co... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Playing with Amy Dumas (Lita)

Posted by eroll113 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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Photo Album:Teacher's Pet, Part Two

Dr. C. Chambers Post, grew up in a religious Roman Catholic home in a working class neiborhood in Queens, NY. As a young man, he knew he was different from the other boys in his school. But with a strong religious mother and distant transit worker father, he felt it best to keep his sexual predilictions to himself. He was tall, 6'2", handsome, young man with a well built body. As a 17 yo high school senior, he enjoyed being persued by the young ladies in their circle of friends. His two older b*****rs had followed their father in the transit buisness, where if they worked hard for 25... Continue»
Posted by Blondkid2020 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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