Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

Dancing with Danger

by Milliemoon



"So you can see my problem. I know you are usually busy on Friday nights but I just wondered..."

My mom, Sandra, seemed to run out of steam and sat back heavily on the sofa as I stood and looked at her.

"You want me to go with you to your company's annual dinner and dance?"

I guess the astonishment sounded in my voice because she shook her head.

"No, no, it's ok, I'll see if Jean can come with me."

Jean was my mother's best friend, a lovely lady, but somehow not the best partner for a posh do.

"You don't have to ask Jean, I would love to com... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 593  |  
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Bathroom Break

~Bathroom Break~

Karl walks into the bathroom in his school with his head hung down at the white tiles on the floor. He raises his head and turns toward the urinals. Karl gives off a small sigh as he takes out his semi - hard dick.

"What I wouldn't do for some dick right now." Karl said to himself while flushing his self out. Karl was admiring his soft light caramel skin in the mirror, when he then heard a soft moan coming out of the light gray stall. He chuckled to himself thinking it was just his imagination, since... Continue»
Posted by femboii 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 590  |  
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Bernadette

Years ago I loved chat on Yahoo Messenger. I had a group of friends I would chat with from time to time...it was always filthy. One of my favorites was Bernadette. She and her husband Mario had been married for fifteen years.

She lived one state away from me and we would chat about her fantasy. Me fucking her while her husband watched. Eventually we moved onto phone sex. She always got super excited hearing my voice as I told her what I wanted to do with her. She almost never spoke during those phone calls. Her moans and screams were enough though. Eventually I hard a low voice tell... Continue»
Posted by peterpierre47 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 590  |  
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Heavenly Mother



It was a dark and stormy night. Rain was coming down in sheets and wind was sweeping it around furiously. Doors and windows were trembling against the onslaught of both air and water; as was Nitin because of the resulting cold.

It was a dreadful night. The blanket over him was not thick enough to keep the cold from seeping in and the small electric heater next to his bed was too weak to keep anything warm. There was a certain comfort in the red glow coming from
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 5 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 590  |  
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fuckin in d classroom

It was first time of ever fingerin a gal usually I dreamt about it and masturbated to it... Anyway let me not bore u... I was in class getting some assignments done den she came to class men were those boobs huge aniway we were talking nd den I bought up d topic of sex asking her if she has done it before I den ask do it wit me she said ok. She den sat on my laps nd startd grinding me god was dat good I den dragged ha skirt down nd started fingering ha she nw started talkin dirty tellin me 2 swirl ha cunt it den got me horny nd made me grow bigger she den took me in her mouth suckin me til I c... Continue»
Posted by hornynigerian 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 587  |  
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The Perils of Dating Supergirl, Part 2

Hi there!

My Name is Robert Shephard, but most people call me Bobby. I was living an average life, I had a good job teaching High School Chemistry, and was dating an absolute knock out named Linda. Then everything changed when I (through a complete fluke) discovered she was in reality Supergirl.


Messed up huh?

A Day after I discovered the truth I found myself Orbiting the Earth in a Massive Space Station called "Watchtower".

"This is the Coolest.....thing....ever!" I said pressing my face against the glass.

"It is beautiful isn't it." Kara said. "Sometimes I forget just how... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 587  |  
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Cum Face the Boyz

I am not sure if this story belongs under this category since it doesn't involve nudity, but I think this is the most appropriate place. Last week I went to visit the guy I am dating, Adam. We were hanging out alone at his parent's house (they were out) and we decided to order pizza. While waiting for the pizza we started to fool around a little bit in his living room, and I ended up giving him a blowjob. I was really getting into it (Adam's always into it!) when the doorbell rang. I immediately stopped and pulled my face away. At that same moment Adam ejaculated unexpectedly. After the first ... Continue»
Posted by oralTcmlvr 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 586  |  
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Big Boobs and a Bit of Luck

One of the many jobs I have had was at an electronics store which was pretty boring, except for the rare times when I would get to serve a hot busty customer.

I remember the first time that Sara walked in the door. It was a hot summers day, she was probably about 155cm (about 5'2" I think) she had a purple singlet top on, that barely could contain her bountiful breasts, with tight fitting 3/4 cutoff blue jeans and her short blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail. I'm a bit of a boob hound, so I was guessing a DD minimum but more likely an E cup.

As she walked in, I got a great look at h... Continue»
Posted by Luvboobs15 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 585  |  
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KILTS!

Hi everyone!
This is Ian, and I have an interesting experience to share:
I was inside the Rio Casino in Vegas two days ago at around 1 am, wearing one of my numerous kilts as usual. Now.....
A group of 6 or 7 drop-dead gorgeous Asian girls were walking toward me, noticed my kilt, started exclaiming (something or other), and when they got to me, started taking turns lifting my kilt! Well, I let them do this for a few minutes, then it hit me: There's cameras in these casinos! So regrettably, I shooed them away. Well, a couple guys were watching the whole scene, and afterward, they came up to ... Continue»
Posted by columbia_river_couple 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 584  |  
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What Cums Around

"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
************************************************************************
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.

It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 583  |  
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Haze Balls! I fucked my pledge's girlfriend

That party was sick b*o. Glad you came out. Sucks you had to keep the fire going last night, but its pledge ship you’ll get used to it. Anyways while everyone was hanging out by the fire I asked your girlfriend Erin to give me a ride to the store so I could get a pack of cigarettes. She was looking so fucking sexy. Those slutty heels and that short black dress. Dude you’re lucky. Anyways I asked her how ya’ll were doing when she took me to the store.
She complained about how you were always doing stuff at the fraternity house for pledge ship. She says she never gets to spend any tim... Continue»
Posted by MonsterFish 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 583  |  
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Sexy story to Armoprince66@yahoo mountain dew

Now for your listening pleasure i made up a song for you all...a NEW SONG FOR U SING ALONG NOW EVERYBODY....IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ...IF YOU ARE HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS ....IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT THEN YOUR FACE WILL SURELY SHOW IT...IF YOUR HORNY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS..CLAP CLAP THANK YOU, THANK YOU... HAHAHA... LOL... FUNNY SH-T FOR SURE... CAN YOU SEE THAT BEING PLAYED WITH THE HOKIE POKIE AT THE SKATING RING HAHAHAHA HOW WAS THAT BOYS AND GIRLS HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!! Full service provider no greek IN THE GRECIAN LANGUAGE OF REDBOOK THAT M... Continue»
Posted by notreasonusa 1 year ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 583  |  
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How To Have Sex With a Friend

Seriously, who hasn’t met a friend who’s sexy and all that?

And how many of us haven’t wondered how to have sex with a friend?

It feels so good to be bad. It feels even better to cross that boundary and play dirty, doesn’t it?

Life in the fast lane couldn’t get any faster in these days of fast love and raging hormones. It’s hard to get over the blues of being single especially when everyone around is either madly in love, or physically in love.

If lovers can do it, why not friends? After all, friends do share everything lovers share, other than physical intimacy.

Sex with a frie... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 582  |  
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The first day to school, part 1.

The first day to school, where I really do not feel like after that wonderful weeks on vacation in Rome.
I really reluctantly went to school and then I had to also introduce my self to all the new people. Phew!
I pulled me nothing and looked around to find. Place a free Back I saw an empty seat and I walked past the other students back to the table at the back of the room, where I then took place.
I looked a bit around me and saw people chatting with each other, it was mainly girls I saw sitting.
Completely in the other corner of the room I saw a girl like me who, it seemed, no one kne... Continue»
Posted by soesar 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 582  |  
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Valentines Day Virus

Dwayne gave a strangled moan of pain as he burst through the front door of his house, one hand clutched to his crotch and an expression of absolute agony painted over his face. With shaky steps he hurried up the single flight of stairs and rushed into his bedroom. He almost fell onto his bed and hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down to his knees. His boxers soon followed and he looked desperately at his genitals, the source of his pain.

His cock was fully erect and an angry red color. But what was most alarming was his testicles. Dwayne's balls looked huge and swollen, approxim... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 581  |  
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SURPRISED VISITORS, THE HOT TUB, AND OUR SNOWY MO

I had rented a rustic cabin, up on snowy Mount Rainier, for this past weekend. Tatiana and I wanted to get away from neighbors, friends and f****y. And spend some quality time alone together, in a remote and intimate environment.

Saturday morning, while we were making love, we decided it would be fun and exciting, to continue our amorous efforts in the hot tub out side the cabin. Tatiana didn't need much convincing, she ran naked, out the door, across the deck, and jumped into the hot tub. I was right behind her. Tatiana is eleven years younger than me. Anyway, that's my excuse why she ... Continue»
Posted by RutgerIvanus 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 582  |  
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Sarah and Nicole go Shopping (part one)


This and the following part two are extracts from my novel "Sarah's Garden." They aren't really explicit erotica but rather an amusing account of two newly out lesbian girls let loose by their girlfriends for a day's shopping in town and a spot of girl watching with some rather startling results. Just a bit of fun really for your amusement.

**********************

“Well all I can say is that it’s going to be an interesting encounter with your mum tomorrow Nicky!” declared Sarah feelingly as she steered her BMW along the west bound autobahn a little outside Zur... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 579  |  
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My pride

We met at a bar, I’d been drinking a bit more than I should’ve, I was ready for some action, I hadn’t seen my lover in a week and was I was ready for a fight. Never got one. –all I got was a good beating. He was sober and he took me to his place. He wants me to obey, he wants me to call him master, and honestly; I want that too. In most of my fantasies and daydreams I long to please and obey. But in real life, as it turns out, I have a really hard time doing just that.
He commands me to call him master. I don’t. He commands me to undress. I don’t. I don’t even know why, cause I rea... Continue»
Posted by miatrondheim 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 575  |  
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Ace in the Hole

Ace Baxter was named after Ace Cannon the famous saxophonist, adored by his father who played his records from morning ’till night and who wanted his son to take up the instrument and become a professional musician. Unfortunately Baxter the younger turned out to be tone deaf and ended up with a job washing glass receptacles in a laboratory.

During his short tenure with the Wittislow d**g Company they made a remarkable break through that shook the world and delighted the intelligence community beyond belief. Known as the Wittislow Truth d**g it threatened to revolutionize the questioning of ... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 16 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 578  |  
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just a fantasey of mine

ok, this is the hotty half of fall guys couple, so this story is from my point of view. its just a fantasy so far.
darkness. the soft caress of silk on bare skin. the subtle sent of bergamont in the air. i lay tied to the bed, soft silk scarves pinning my arms and legs wide apart. another scarf covers my eyes, darkening the room to nothing even though i know candles burn. an intricately tied series of more silk scarves harness my body, tightly holding me like a lover. the knots are placed just so, and just tight enough that they tease and torment my erogenous zones, but offer no relief.... Continue»
Posted by fallguy74 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 574  |  
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