Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 69
Friends: Deleted Scenes - Moving Day
A gloomy haze hung within the purple walls of Rachel and Monica's apartment. They had lost a rash betting contest to the guys, and now they found themselves f***ed to pack and move to a smaller, dingier place.
Monica was in the living room trying to lift a heavy box, when Rachel walked in from Chandler's new bedroom.
"Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?" she asked.
"No! Put that box down!" Rachel demanded. "We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girl's apartment! That is a boy's apartment, it's dirt... Continue»
Zak skillfully maneuvered the big Lincoln through a maze of traffic and on to the off ramp of the expressway! As he slid into local traffic he adjusted the radio for some easy listening and thought to himself, "Almost home, and boy am I tired and hungry, and what a day, non stop from eight until six, I hope Katie has something good ready for supper!!!" He thought about Katie and how lucky he had been to meet someone so beautiful and smart at the same time, and how after three years of marriage just the mere sight of her naked body nearly drove him insane with lust!!! Finally he turned onto Car... Continue»
I hear a knock at the door and come to answer it, hoping that it's u and not someone else about to see me in a tight schoolgirl outfit. I open the door and breathe a sigh of relief as I see U standing there. Ur jaw drops as U take in what I’m wearing, the tight top perfectly showing off my ample tits as well as most of my lacey bra, while the bottom half could barely be said to be a skirt with it rising just above my ass, teasing of what's underneath. I smile and say hi as we move inside, u shut the door behind u but cant take ur eyes off my sexy ass. We've barely walked inside when u spin me ... Continue»
While getting a long weekend off from college, I was invited to a party by my friend, Sam, at his girlfriends' house. I was told to bring somebody, but having no one to bring, I brought beer instead.
Sam had just started to date this girl, Lisa, and she was a party a****l. Every weekend it was party time at Lisa's. I arrived a little early since I was bringing the refreshment, and bumped into a tall, olive completed, long black haired, curvy girl who was sporting a cast that ran up to the top of her thigh. She was beautiful. I mean beautiful like, 'Catharine Zeta Jones' with nice boobs, ... Continue»
Once upon a time, there was a very sexy and horny little slut called Jilnar Jardaly, who was having lots and lots of fun at her girlfriend's wedding day!
After the beautiful ceremony, the reception was well under way and Jilnar, was having such a lovely day! She'd already fucked nearly all the male guests, as well as several of the female ones. Best of all, she still had a few more hours left in the day to seduce the rest and add them to her enormous and ever-growing list of sexual conquests.
She decided to have a stroll in the beautiful garden to cool her perfectly delectable but achin... Continue»
Hello to all ISS readers! I am Rahul from Nagpur (Maharashtra). My English is week, so here I just tried to explain the incident happened with me. This story happened before 1yr when I was 25 yr old. Since c***dhood, I am so shy type boy so I always got hard to find any girl-friend. After completing my education I got job in Mumbai with good salary. It was now a six month of my job and I missing my dear mom so much. So I requested my boss to grant me a leave. He accepted and I moved to my native place Vardha (Maharashtr... Continue»
It starts with you going to the doctors to check your prostate. I work as the doctor, wearing a short white dress and under it my red bra and nickers. As I lean over you can see the top of my boobs. I shake your hand and asks you to take of your clothes and bend over.
You feel how I put some cold lubricate on your ass and some runs down on your balls. Then you feel how I separate your cheeks and puts in first one then a second finger inside you not wearing any glove. You moan a bit and I lean over you and asks if you like it. You nodd. I then find the prostate and start pressing-milking it... Continue»
A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.
After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."
"I understand every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto ... Continue»
(Ann gets inked in an intimate area)
"Unique tattooing, can I help you?" David answered the ringing phone. "Hi David, this is Ann. Do you have any time to squeeze me in today?" she asked, cheerfully.
A huge smile flashed across David's already darkly handsome face when he heard her voice. Ann.... Her golden hair, long legs and chubby body just made his senses soar, not to mention his heart race every time she smiled at him. She had a smile that would melt the polar ice caps, and bring blinding light to darkened catacombs. He loved tattooing her as well, she never complained of the pain a... Continue»
Many years ago when I was about five or six years of age I experimented anally in the bath with a bit of soap; it felt good apart from the soap stinging a little bit.
When I was about ten years of age I got fucked for the first time by a friend of the same age. I don't know where he got the idea from but it felt very nice although there were minor complications.
In my teens a male friend and I used to have wanking races in his bedroom. We used to suck each other but not to orgasm so I never knowingly swallowed his cum.
Around about that time I lost my anal virginity in total to a Ga... Continue»
I am asking the translator what that means: The Revenge. There is no revenge in my story! And she says it is a kind of joke. Like the Electric Boogaloo. I do not understand why that is funny, but she is telling me to trust her, and continue with my story.
When we grew awake in the morning, Svetlana wanted more sexy sexy time, but I said to not. Because Mr. Aronoff would be there soon to pick us up for the bus ride back to home. Svetlana, who looked more like Serge in the morning, said quietly, he did not want to go back home. I pushed him into the shower to wash off the cosmetics fro... Continue»
We had just left Savannah, Georgia, and were heading back north to Ft. Bragg, N.C. We were in my 68 Convertible Corvette, and Anya was always a horny b---h, when I started to play with her pussy, and she reached over and pulled my shorts down to my feet, and started to suck me. I was passing a panel van, when I looked over and saw this young driver looking at us and grinning, and giving me the thumbs up. I pulled her mini-skirt up around her waist, exposing her beautiful ass in a thong. Next thing I knew there were 2 more heads looking out the same window, with sh-t eating grins on their faces... Continue»
Bill had left for work an hour earlier. His last action before shutting the door was a perfunctory kiss on her cheek as he hurried out the door, his mind already occupied on the day's events. Again, he had missed the significance of her squeeze on his upper arm; again he missed entirely, the questioning look she gave his retreating back.
"Jay; get up, you're going to be late." Jean shouted at the top of her voice over the edge of the banister. Jamie was a typical angst ridden teenage young man, lazy and disinclined to venture out of bed before the last minute, or he had ... Continue»
Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.
Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.
Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.
Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Recently I made an unexpected big splash in our new neighborhood. We just moved to a new home the end of this past week. The home was a former model home and it was the largest of the three model homes in a model center that was sold off and the previous office. So, naturally the home has all the bells and whistles. Well, that is except one thing... they disarmed the alarm system when we closed on the house. I noticed this when we were opening and closing the door constantly moving furniture in the front door. I wasn’t hearing the high pitched “beep” I used to hear when we first viewed the hou... Continue»
Step 1: Advice for him
You may feel that you have expressed yourself quite enough, perhaps you have expressed yourself a number of times, and feel spent. But it's essential you stay awake for long enough to make her feel loved. You may have to fight the urge to sl**p, but remember now it's time for her to unload all over you.
Speed up the process by making encouraging noises and agreeing to everything she says. The Past Master of this was Marlon Brando, who put his incredible success with women down to the pose of propping himself up on his elbow, which made him look interested in whatev... Continue»
Guys always say that it's easy for a woman to get some dick. Maybe that's true but then, what kind of dick is she gonna get ? Tonight, alone, k**s gone to their dad's, making some calls to some guys, but no one is answering their cell. Call up my Jamaican friend, n/a, call up my African friend, n/a, call up my American friend who's in S.A. and he says he'll call me back, but then, no news.
Oh ! almost forgot, I called up two different Haitian guys, but N/A !! lol
So, I figure, I'm gonna smoke some weed, watch a porn and play with myself but realize, after I start watching this vid that ... Continue»
My name is Teja people say I look a like the actress kavya madhavan and I am in quiet fair and slightly hairy on my hands and my stats are 34 30 36 ( during I was at my 20's). I am married with one k** and I was at my early 20s when this happen to me. Me and my hubby are happily married coupled after the first year of our marriage I gave birth to my son during that time we called up the local temple gurukal for our baby naming ceremony.
On that day I still remember it was around 11 am and the gurukal came to our house. He wa
[bMy name is kumar (name changed) and i was 16 years old i was studying diploma in B’lore. When i was failed in 5 subjects my mom send to tuition in my near home.my tuition teacher name is pooja and she is studying in engg final year and her mom name is sridevi with a big whitish boobs big ass white navel.let me describe the story
One day when my grand father died my f****y has gone to my village due to my exams i was in tuition teacher’s home. By that her husban... Continue»
Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise
sees the neighbor's k** walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy yells back, "Roll of chicken wire."
The old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"
The boy says, "Catch some chickens."
The old man yells, "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's
surprise, he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30