Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 68

i love myspace

ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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SUNBURNED IN SAN DIEGO

Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:

"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?

Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Get Your Man Into Eating Your Pussy


A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,

1. Initiate Sex:

Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Ghostfinger-----totally non-porn, but funny as hel

This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.

It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
Posted by joewaterford 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 561  |  
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European Closeness

-------- European Closeness --------

I met an older but very attractive woman, Tascha, at a local shopping center. Her middle European accent, exotic looks, and damned good figure and legs caught my attention, and I did my very best big strong young soldier act on her, helping to reach an item on a top shelf for her. I pulled the old gag about being an ignorant bachelor, not knowing what to select for supper. Smiling, she joined me in shopping and helped me fill my cart, making suggestions for easy to fix, tasty, good meals. We found ourselves getting along very well, and she invited me... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 561  |  
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sex party

This was to be my first time at the 'party' I didn't know exactly what was involved but I knew it was a privalige to be invited. I had provided a certificate from the clinic to say that I was free of sexual diseases and another to show that I was using birth control. Finally I had signed an agreement, although I wasnt sure what I was agreeing to as I wasn't alowed to read it.
So now I stood nervously before the table. Three people faced me, two men and in the middle a woman I didn't know. She spoke
"As we have a new member there will be only one name in the bowl... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 560  |  
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Boatscrew

Boatscrew
So we up anchored or at least unstrung the thing from the pontoon and with the diesel throbbing, off we set. Now me I ain`t no sailor, so this was to be a hit and miss affair, health and safety would have a kitten if they knew. Mandy and I had won the lottery and on an impulse had bought a cruiser, yes I know, daft wasn`t it. Anyway, we needed to get the thing home and my persuasive misses, Mandy, had convinced me that midsummer, flat sea and it would be a breeze to get back to Essex, from Brighton if we took a can or two of fuel and our road map, kept the coast in sight and wandere... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 560  |  
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crazed and aimlessly wanting

it all starts in the morning. i wake up and i need it bad. i manage to make it to work on time. it take so much will power to do anything. it's more like ignoring how much my body wants it. i day dream about writing. but i do want to make a connection. i hope someone picks this up. i'm trying to make you see, be here with me. naked on my chair. i want it to be real for you. i'm hard, on and off. my asshole is so aroused from the cold wood chair. my arm pits are a little sweaty. i like writing about my biggest turn ons. in great detail. but maybe you want to hear something real? there's plenty ... Continue»
Posted by wolfbuddah 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 560  |  
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Alien in town / there really are Orions

In my younger days, I was a decent amateur photographer. Once, when a friend got married she asked me to take her pictures. I agreed to do them for free if she bought the film. Neither f****y had much money and she readily agreed. Her future spouse came from a f****y where both mother and father had c***dren by previous marriages as well as some together. Except for the future groom, all were girls and all from 16 years old and up.Again, to save money, the mothers bought material and started sewing the dresses for the bridesmaids, most of whom were the groom's s****rs. They chose a bright for... Continue»
Posted by sometimesbored 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 558  |  
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Everybody has a story

So I think everybody has a hot story to tell but most dont want to go through the bother of writting it out in great detail. So what I propose is this - in no more than 5 sentences share your most horny, most shocking sex story as a comment below. Gay, straight, young, old, something you done or something you seen, your best time, your first time, friends, f****y or strangers - share your story and make someone horny!!!... Continue»
Posted by codie2010 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 560  |  
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SHAN6969 ROADSIDE PAYBACK

I love Venice Beach,CA. When ever I have a couple of bucks to blow I will take turns vacationing either there
or Vegas (they're both pretty close to Phoenix). Shan6969, my ex and now periodical fuckbuddy, digs Venice
as well. I can't count how many times we visited there when we were an "item". Shan6969 lives back east and
always comes in town unexpected ready to fuck. This time was no different. Her call woke me up Friday at 1:22 a.m.
BOIDYNHO:(sl**pily) "Hello?"
SHAN6969: "Wake up you big black dicked mother fucker!.....Mama's in town"
BOIDYNHO: "Oh dear gawd...what th"
SHAN6969:"... Continue»
Posted by BOIDYNHO 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 557  |  
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Red Lace Panties


Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror.

Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel.

I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face.

Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 556  |  
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Cuckold Fantasy: Ten TV Wives Who Might've Be

A lazy, inattentive manc***d marries a hot, nagging wife. It's a television trope, a device that allows for lots of storyline hijinks. The characters' sex lives are barely implied or even nonexistant on screen, but what if:

10. Temperance Brennan, BONES

Bones is no one's doting, submissive wife. She is unemotional & unattached; early in the series we learn that she enjoys casual NSA sex. A frequent diatribe from her is that the anthropological need for monogamy is outmoded. Bones would take a lover & coldly admonish you for if you were upset by it. Temperance is also one of the more like... Continue»
Posted by poobah 1 month ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 557  |  
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The bridge thing

It is a very warm summerday and we are go hiking. Walking behind the house up the mountain and the sun is burning on our skins. We walk along the paths and between the trees. After 2 hours we pass a house and move on after half an hour we arrive at a canyon. For our luck there is a plank bridge so we can go over the canyon. But when we arrive at half the bridge we stop and enjoy the good few from the mountain into the vale. You stand there and I was behind you. Feeling a little like having fun I grab your one hand with mine and bound you on one of the ropes of the bridge. With the other I grab... Continue»
Posted by John9090 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 554  |  
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Not exactly a Sex Story



As the title says this is not exactly a sex story. Before I start this story, I want to tell a few things about myself. People call me different. I take it as an compliment. Some call me a sexual fanisizer, again thanks for the compliment. I never feel akward talking about sex with anyone. Rather I feel comfortable. I have no issues speaking with girls. I mingle with everyone. This is all u need to know.
I had crushes on many girls right from my college days and its always been a sexual desire. I watch porn every... Continue»
Posted by nagz 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 551  |  
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lee a morning glory

well let me tell you about lee my uncles ex and the mother of cindy his daughter wich sort of makes her my aunt but they didn't get married.
were talking 5ft6" brunnete large brown eye"s cant describe them as tit's
more like humongous boobs we are past dd i think they were at least f cups a
genuine bbw just awsome.
well lets start the story.
well im asl**p well sort of hafway to waking up.
ah yes the usual morning hardon the painfull morning missile.
i release the bastard from my jocks ah thats better but not quite.
i chuck the covers of yes much better give the bugger a couple of s... Continue»
Posted by 6963 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 550  |  
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Marriage

A priest blesses a couple for their wedding. The next day the priest meets the wife in the shopping center alone. He asked "Where is your husband?", and she replied i left him back home because he prefers to watch TV sports.
The priest asked again, are you going back to him sooner or later? The wife said yes, i can't leave without him.
The priest looked and smiled in a funny way just to say "You get married one day, leave your spouse next, try to get back to fuck your spouse and possibly do that all over again".
That is why as a priest, the nun to stay committed to whatever i want from spir... Continue»
Posted by great_lover 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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just fucked

Just left a bomb party with a celeb party. Fucked this guy in the bathroom. His wife was outside. Made him cum back to back with my fat wet juicy sloppy pussy. He said his wife has never made him do that. I sucked his dick while stroking it with my tougue as I rubbed his balls. I then began to suck his balls while jacking him off. He panted and panted as I licked his balls. What white balls he had...hahaha.. he said he always wanted a black bitch.. my mouth got juicy when he said that. Made him cum so hard it skeeted hard all over my face. O got it up again by rubbing his balls gently, I lai... Continue»
Posted by Phatpussy714 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small c*ck on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being with a guy with a small c*ck BUT when sh... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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Last Night

So last night me and my wife where in our living room watching movies, and she started to fall asl**p. So I said hey I know your not sl**ping, because everytime I spend a lot of time ppicking out these movies and everytime you fall asl**p. she said I'm sorry baby I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open can you help me stay awake. I looked at her like ???? what? She said maybe be if you put that big daddy dick in my fat wet pussy I might be able to stay awake.
I said I think I can keep you up. So she slowly untied my shorts and pulled my dick out and put it against her face lik... Continue»
Posted by leneddy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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