Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 68

Seaman Sam

Hi I’m Sam. Mid 30’s, divorced, six feet tall, short black hair, great legs (if I say so!) and an athletic body, toned through my exercise routines and my sailing. And seven inches of uncut horny cock when engorged!

You see I own a small 4 berth boat and as an income I take people on cruises around the rivers and ports of the south of France. It’s not a big boat, but cosy enough. I go where they want and do what they want. We can stop at ports or beaches, small islands or the mainland. Offshore or on a river.

Mainly the people are of a certain age, shall we say. And the views on the sun ... Continue»
Posted by PurplePal 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Expanded Back Story Of Sarah, A Girl From The


In the 2 years I spent as a bartender there were only two girls, Sarah and Kelly, that I fucked just to fuck.
The other 13 I actually liked in some way or another, I mean I didn' want to marry them or anything, but they all had some charm.

But not Sarah. Sarah was hot alright, in fact I ranked her at the top 3 of the hottest girls I fucked while working at the bar. She had nice long dirty blond/light brown hair, a very respectable body, I'm not talking rail thin or anything, but the meat was in all the right places. mainly her tits, a nice 36C if I remember correctly and a fine ... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 7 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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How to tell if you would be a good pornstar

STRAIGHT MALE EDITION

Every Straight Male thinks they're able to do porn

1. Are you capable of cumming more than once ? not that you will really need to but just in case you happen to get over excited around female performers you wont explode and then have nothing else left in the arsenal.

2. How are your athletic skills ? its one thing to be in a gangbang edge yourself and wait till its your turn to jizz, but its another thing when you have to penetrate another performer in full speed without getting out of breath and stopping.Porn stars usually go half and hal... Continue»
Posted by guess1tw3ll 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Photo Album:Teacher's Pet, Part Two

Dr. C. Chambers Post, grew up in a religious Roman Catholic home in a working class neiborhood in Queens, NY. As a young man, he knew he was different from the other boys in his school. But with a strong religious mother and distant transit worker father, he felt it best to keep his sexual predilictions to himself. He was tall, 6'2", handsome, young man with a well built body. As a 17 yo high school senior, he enjoyed being persued by the young ladies in their circle of friends. His two older b*****rs had followed their father in the transit buisness, where if they worked hard for 25... Continue»
Posted by Blondkid2020 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Aman fucking maid Fatima




Due to some function my relatives had to visit the native place for two weeks. I didn't joined them coz of my upcoming semester exams....& they left at next morning...I was little happy as I got full freedom to freakout with my friends & to do party......!!! but at same time was unhappy when my relatives told me about fatima that she would disturb my privacy with her routine works.....!!

But managed my mind with that thought. Next morning I was sl**ping till late when she knocked my door......i was still in sl**p....walked in my boxers & opened the door & again felt on bed for sl**p. ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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'little s*s' chapter 7

He walked up right as we did. He eyed me up and down like he wanted to eat me. He asked Jason ‘is this going to ruin our friendship. Are you going to treat me like shit because I fucked your girl?’ Jason was honest. He said ‘I love her more than you can ever imagine. But I fucked up so bad she deserves a damn good fuck and total revenge.’ This boy grew up with us. He was in my sixth grade class.

Jason busted out with ‘I popped lauren’s cherry and I was never going to tell her about it. My b*****r ratted me out. You know lauren has treated her like shit even though they were best fucking fri... Continue»
Posted by halinaplays 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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First Blow Slightly coincidental.

First Blow
Slightly coincidental.
A little bit of background information.
We had come in the club for a few years. It was a place where you could come, sit and relax, be with your partner, or be with other people. Usually there was access for all, all adults that is, but they had try to make one evening a month just for couples, male/female, sunday night.


Angel, my wife, was dressed in a shiny black dress with a discreet red white pattern.
Under she had black corset, black stockings, garter Belt and lace panties and short stiletto boots.

We arrived at the club in the belief that i... Continue»
Posted by joemidnight53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Freshman Felatio 101

It was the fall of my sophomore year in college and I had just moved into a new apartment and I had put up an ad for a room mate to help cover the expenses. A number of girls had called but the one I settled on was a girl named Alicia who was just a freshman but her parents were well to do and she didn't want to live in the dorms. Most of the other girls I either knew by name or reputation and I really didn't want my pad to become party central.

Alicia was a small town girl, who was still dating her high school sweet heart, who was stuck at home attending junior college because he couldn't... Continue»
Posted by oralTcmlvr 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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three phases

A f****y is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. ... Continue»
Posted by dashingboy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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turning the tables on dad

Turning the tables on dad
Growing up all I ever heard was, "As long as you live under my roof you'll do as I say, young man!" Yeah my Father was very strict. Up until the time I moved out of his house, at age 22, I had to toe the line or accept the punishment. Punishment was always the same. Dad would make me strip to my briefs with my hands at my sides as he lectured me. Then I'd have to lie across his lap and take some hard swats on my brief covered ass. Eventually he'd pull down my briefs exposing my round bare ass completely. He'd then go to work spanking my bare butt--usually until he br... Continue»
Posted by doctor27 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Hot Affair

Tossing and turning on the bed; she found that sl**p would not come to her, as her mind was full of vivid memories of the days fun they had just enjoyed. A smile came across her face as she remembered each detail of their Anniversary dinner. Choosing a more private affair than most they had decided to go to the local park with a blanket. Once there she realised there was no food. Arching an eyebrow questioning at him he had laughed, pulled her down onto the blanket, lifted her skirt and started to lick and suck her clit. Every so often lifting his head to insert a finger into her wet pulsin... Continue»
Posted by craigus44 7 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Now it's my turn

The light fog added a moisture to the air. The coolness of the night wrapped around her like a wet towel, sending a shiver up her spine. She was lucky she knew the area so well, or she could have easily become lost. She looked through the trees at the house where he lived, slightly smiling at the one electric candle burning in the kitchen window.

Little did he know that the candle provided a signal for her. He, in his excitement, meant the signal for another. Just the thought of what she had planned had her so excited that she could barely control her movements. She was wet down to mid-thig... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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How I did LSD & lost my virginity for the firs

This is my first story so constructive criticism please, if you like this I will post more stories from my strange & crazy life. This is a true story, happened to me in the summer of 05' best day of my life.


So first the stats, you fellow story readers seam to enjoy them. The girl in this story Rachel is/was 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Mulatto, 5'4" maybe 125lbs, Curvy, a nice handful of tits & a rock hard ass that went on for days. I was & still am, 1/2 irish 1/2 mexican, 5'9" 144lbs very skinny yet toned from lack of body fat, I'm a grower not a shower, at 9inches when erect & I'm cut... Continue»
Posted by dayzicle 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Fully Dressed

Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????

I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.

One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A Fun Saturday Night



Man, what to say. So on Saturday March 30th, I lost half of my virginity. More specifically, I got a handjob. Now, if youre excepting some super erotic story or whatever, this isnt going to be it.

Getting on to the story. In good ole Pensacola, Florida. Me, my friend(who I will just call Scarlet) and her other friend(who I will just call Tessa) went to the park. It was suppose to be just a regular day of goofing off. But Scarlet thought itd be funny to pour soap all over my car. I was already just tired from just playing around on at park, mainly i was light headed becaus... Continue»
Posted by fail1080 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A Happy Thanksgiving With My Cousin

This story is completely fictional!

It had been a few months since I had seen my cousin Sara and when she got to my house for thanksgiving I was stunned at how sexy she looked. Since I had seen her last, she had cut her hair and more importantly developed a nice set of tits. Not too big and not too small, just perfect for a track runner like she was. She had a slim body but perfect ass which I loved to stare at. When everyone arrived I took their coats and threw them on my bed, Sara came with me and threw a few coats down too. She commented on how messy my room was and laughed when she s
... Continue»
Posted by faddy02 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Indian - How i lost myself to Karim's in his

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The Karim s Studio


The morning sun broke out earlier than usual and was cajoling my face rather sharply through our bedroom window. I woke up, preparing myself for another hot & humid day. It was a proper May. My husband, Raj was on the last stretch of his sl**p. He really appreciates that part. So, not wanting to disturb him I sneaked out of the room and headed for the toilet. When I am in there, I started brushing my teeth and felt the totally damp nightie clinging on to my back due to the power cut we had earlier in the morning. The same soaked... Continue»
Posted by ssantham 11 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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THE ORIGINS OF MISS MICRO MAYHEM

Hello......
Allow me to introduce myself to you...my name is "micro"...mayhem will be explained shortly. but micro will work for now.... As you can see, im blonde, blue eyes, and i weigh 69 lbs....And im a transexual. A transexual that is now going to share an amazing story with you....This way, you will understand "who" i am, and "where" i came from.....i wont tell every long drawn out detail....just enough, so you can understand the energy i weild, and the magic i conceal behind my little face....so...sit back and listen up!!! And here we go...........

I have no idea as to how ol
... Continue»
Posted by 3DXXXSHEMALE 4 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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In The Hallway

My doorbell rings and I rush to the hallway. My heart leaps into my throat, my pulse quickens and my skin becomes moist. I have been waiting for you, here in my house, for so long. Now you have come and I can hardly wait for you to enter. I stand at the back of the long hall, itching to rush to the door and loving the exquisite prolongation of this moment, my body becoming weaker, my love for you becoming stronger.

From my warm secret hiding place deep in the dark of my house I see your silhouette through the frosted glass. You press your nose to it and you see nothing but shadow. Already ... Continue»
Posted by IrmaCerrutti 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Joke for today

WY

An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.

The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?

The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WE... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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