Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 67
Friday morning had arrived and I was once again hyper, running around trying to control my sex drive at the thoughts of having him between my legs that night, I was trying to get ready as well making sure that everything was perfect, my attention to detail was meticulous making sure that when he stripped me he would discover all kinds of goodies and fences to cross to tease him, not too much but just enough to get him inside me, “as though he needed any encouragement” I mused,
I had already established that he was a very unselfish lover, his sole aim in life seemed to be to... Continue»
The Audition Part 3
Davey The Bear.
As both video and photo cams moved in for a close up I put my face close to Dennis' big boner. I picked it up and said "Watch
We were now ready for my hot blow job scene which is exactly what I gave them.
All Dennis had to do was sit there and groan with pleasure.
Show time at last!
The camera was rolling and my screen test had begun.
I pulled up my skirt and drove my big lady stick deep into Dennis' hairy as... Continue»
When this little Duckie went to uni, she had her eyes open to an abundance of cock. Thick, thin, skin on, circumcised, pierced, hairy and most of all the continuous discussion point of big versus small. As I was "new" to the sex scene, it took a while for me to realise that I should not be putting up with a life shattering bad sex. After many experiences of this kind and me thinking that this should be tolerated (it isn't) I now know without hesitation what my answer would be if asked this question: "would you rather have bad sex for the rest of your life, or none at all?" I still have my toys... Continue»
Well to start I'm Tony my wife and I have a good thing going see she loves to find women around 28-45 that are married have k**s and never had sex with another women and not only bed them but do it in a way that she has perfected over the years in which she controls them. Kerri is one of her ladys about three years back Kerri went to a dress store and while trying on a dress my wife Kat steped into the dressingroom and after some talking, rubing, and a little f***eing had Kerri two fingers deep and panting hard Kat bought her the dress took her to her own home and licked, sucked fingered, an... Continue»
My previous and first story was left off with my gf and I getting it on behind a movie theater. So I'll still keep some stories of this same girl again. My Girlfriend (Lisa) at the time was still trying to hold on to her virginity because of her religious background but she still wanted to have anal sex..just this time not in the dead of winter like the first time...so after her and I had our first anal experience behind the movie theater, our school week was dedicated to teasing each other while at school. We would grab each other going to classes as a game. Example of it was id be walking to... Continue»
I met this girl at the store about two weeks ago. We talked on the phone for awhile before she invited me to her house which was about an hour away. The next morning she picked me up and we went there. The girl didnt waste no time getting down to business. We fucked in the bed on the floor and in the shower.NOW this happend every day but one day i noticed these shoes and wondard to myself whose were they but i diddnt say anything. The next time i went routine as usual,we made it the shower and as im pounding her ass from behind someone walked in the bathroom guess what it was her boyfriend. He... Continue»
Hello everyone again. Diary time again. This goes back to when we were just married and is from one of her last diaries, its one of the few stories that I was in! M came off the pill 15 years ago and since then, apart from a couple of deliberate occasions, I can’t cum inside her so we find alternative ways of bringing each other off. We both enjoy playing so the tenderness of being close together telling sexy stories ticks so many boxes. A number of yeas ago we had gone north to see my parents and were driving back home to London down the motorway. We had set off early in the morning to get b... Continue»
As we step through the door, all heads turn towards us. Entering the restaurant, we are able to see down the Austrian Alps peak to a large lake. The view from the cable car ride was spectacular but the one from the summit is unrivaled as it is a panoramic view of the region. The headwaiter greets us and with a smile asks if we have a reservation. I reply with my last name. He locates it on his guest list and leads us to our table.
My tailored silk suit is dark gray with trousers breaking atop well-shined black leather shoes. A silk Jerry Garcia tie compliments the colors of the suit. I a... Continue»
I made a sponge cake the other day. Unfortunately we ran out of icing sugar so it was a bit plain. We sat down to eat it when I said to my boyfriend "It's a bit dry without icing"
"I could help with that if you like" he replied with a cheeky wink.
"Go on then" I said. He looked a bit shocked. I was serious.
"You really want me to? It might taste a bit funny" He said with a smile on his face.
"Come here and unload over my slice. I want you to ice it for me. Do it." A stern look on my face.
Immediately he got up and came over unzipping his jeans and pulled out his cock. I wat... Continue»
One of the many jobs I have had was at an electronics store which was pretty boring, except for the rare times when I would get to serve a hot busty customer.
I remember the first time that Sara walked in the door. It was a hot summers day, she was probably about 155cm (about 5'2" I think) she had a purple singlet top on, that barely could contain her bountiful breasts, with tight fitting 3/4 cutoff blue jeans and her short blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail. I'm a bit of a boob hound, so I was guessing a DD minimum but more likely an E cup.
As she walked in, I got a great look at h... Continue»
Years ago there was a fun party house my friends and I use to hang out at. A mutual older friend owned the place. It was a drafty old farmhouse secluded in an urban area. Almost every night someone would buy a keg of beer and people would just seem to show up. It was a great time in my life I was young and carefree now I miss those days.
I first met Dave at the party house and at first glance I found him rather unappealing. He was just an average looking guy, with not a lot to offer. I barely acknowledged his presents at the parties most of the time. He is kind of a bulky built guy wi... Continue»
A man walks into a d**g store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men
use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks,
"Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one
for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pac... Continue»
(Based on fact but mostly fiction. Hope you enjoy.)
After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body. As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.
I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. When that happens it usually means they are busy... Continue»
A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,
1. Initiate Sex:
Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS
STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:
"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?
Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
it all starts in the morning. i wake up and i need it bad. i manage to make it to work on time. it take so much will power to do anything. it's more like ignoring how much my body wants it. i day dream about writing. but i do want to make a connection. i hope someone picks this up. i'm trying to make you see, be here with me. naked on my chair. i want it to be real for you. i'm hard, on and off. my asshole is so aroused from the cold wood chair. my arm pits are a little sweaty. i like writing about my biggest turn ons. in great detail. but maybe you want to hear something real? there's plenty ... Continue»
ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.
It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
-------- European Closeness --------
I met an older but very attractive woman, Tascha, at a local shopping center. Her middle European accent, exotic looks, and damned good figure and legs caught my attention, and I did my very best big strong young soldier act on her, helping to reach an item on a top shelf for her. I pulled the old gag about being an ignorant bachelor, not knowing what to select for supper. Smiling, she joined me in shopping and helped me fill my cart, making suggestions for easy to fix, tasty, good meals. We found ourselves getting along very well, and she invited me... Continue»