Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

THE STRANGEST JIGSAW PUZZLE

THE STRANGEST JIGSAW PUZZLE
It was on the top shelf on an old bookcase, covered with dust and barely visible. Lisa decided she had to find out what it was. Of all the things in the old junk shop, it aroused her curiosity most. She had looked through old books, prints, and postcards for hours. Nothing had caught her interest. Now the old box, high and out of reach, intrigued her. She looked around for the old man who ran the store. But he had gone into the back room. She saw a stepladder across the room and brought it over to the bookcase. It shook on the uneven floorboards as she climbed to t... Continue»
Posted by JASON4VOORHEES2 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Supersex with co- worker

One Friday after work, we were all from the office and had a single beer. As people disappeared, only Suzanne and me back.

My name is Torben and late thirties and Susan are a couple of years younger. We are both married and have c***dren, but there has always been a little electricity between us.

It has never translated into anything, but as we got a few beers, I could see that Suzanne became more and more unrestrained.

At one point she comes little dancing over to me and lose completely random balance, so she has to sit on my lap. I put my arms around her waist and hold on tight so s... Continue»
Posted by Rumleskaft1984 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Camp Dsvid

Camp David


I met him on a train. I was working on my laptop, and he walked past. He was incredibly fashionable and everything he had on looked like it had come out of the pack moments before. He had rather a sharp nose which was the only masculine thing that stood out. stood out through his hair. He wore very tight narrow legged black trousers, very highly polished pointy shoes, and a short tweed coat with sleeves so narrow you would have to have pipe cleaner arms to get it on. The coat was open at the neck, exposing a bright green/blue jumper, and beneath that a bare and hairless ... Continue»
Posted by lyn_hornygirl 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy

Put Your Muffin Where Your Mouth is, Mandy
Written by irish4skin
Starring
Mandy Muffin as herself
Josephine James as herself T-Girl Candy Surprise as herself
MILF Delilah as Linda Herrin T-Girl Carla Novaes as herself
Corina Curves as Dr. Carolyn Dick T-Girl Elisangel as herself
Donita Dunes as herself Sasha Grey as herself
T-Girl Adriana Rodriguez as Salina T-Girl Mariana Cordoba as Sama... Continue»
Posted by icemanrisen 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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College seems GREAT!

So it goes like this, I was in my gf's s****rs house. Shes a college student and so shares it with three other girls. Well it was one night upon which we decided to vist her and go out with them all. We were told to use her s****rs room to change and so we did, my gf showered first and as she did, I started being nosey and looking through her s****rs things, but guess what, I found nothing worth noting (was looking to see if she had a dildo etc....) This was shocking as I presumed she would have had one, suddenly I heard my gf coming across the landing floor so i jumped onto the bed and lay do... Continue»
Posted by aaronlikesit 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Temp Job (You'll like it...it's the best

Temp job as limo driver has definite benefits...a celebrity story...

Temp Job (You'll like it...it's the best)

I have a confession to make. They say confession is good for the soul, so here I am. Now that I am this hot sex fantasy writer on this sex fantasy website, people have been expecting me to keep coming up with hot stories. But the truth of the matter is, my sex life has not really been all that exciting. If I had to write the Kama Sutra it would only be one page. In 48 years on the planet, I really have not had that many exciting sexual experiences. I already told y... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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The Anniversary

Nicole stared out the window, her smiling reflection staring back. The Sun had just gone behind the buildings, but had not yet set. That wouldn't be for another hour. The anticipation for the evening had been growing in her for almost a week, when she found out that the bistro would be hosting a very private party, and that she had been specifically requested to serve the party. The guests would be arriving soon.

The table that had been requested was a small two-top near the centre of the small 15 table room. Nicole wondered why one of the more private booths near the rear of the bistro had... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Layover

Stephen Brooks, a rather average sort of fella on the wrong side of 30 slowly opened the door of his Towncar and ducked out into the muggy afternoon air of Dallas Texas. Before him was the Airport and annoyingly beyond that a five hour plane flight back to New York.

As he grabbed his bags from the trunk it dawned on him that he had in all likelihood spent more time in the air in the past month then birds do in their entire lives.
Stephen was in Dallas overseeing the construction of a new Distribution hub for his Company and at the end of the week would fly back home to New York to give in... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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A YOUNG SOLACE

b*****r of my late grandfather had a house at the seaside. I’ve bee spending free summer vacations there since I was k**. He and his wife were retired and had a nice house in a quiet neighborhood of the town. I would spend whole day at he beach, hanging with local k**s and exploring the nature and landscapes.
I was having another beautiful month of a summer holydays there. Unfortunately, my grandmother (wife of my grandfather’s b*****r; I called them ’grandpa’ and ’grandma’) started to have a hard time with her rheumatism and arthritis, so her daughter found her a parlormaid. The maid was ki... Continue»
Posted by JohnDough11111 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Lady Luck - A Somewhat True Story

Couldn't believe my luck tonight....after a long day of masturbating, and flirting or sexting with random women on either Facebook, xHamster, or Yahoo, I went to my local liquor store to pick up some rum and Coke at 10 o'clock tonight....it's in a strip mall, and as I was winding my way through the convoluted parking lot to get to the liquor store at the end of the complex, I passed a petite white girl, looked to be in her mid-20's. It's cold here this time of year, so I couldn't see a whole lot of her figure, but I could tell she had some curves under her peacoat and faded jeans. I only caugh... Continue»
Posted by femalesonly 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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I bet he won't do this again







lilbigal 2 minutes ago.

Delete

She is a 22 years old single, bisexual female

I was at this club the other night and I noticed this guy staring at me. He was very cute but with another girl. Everytime she wasn't looking at him he would look over at me and give me the lets fuck look. I was sitting at a table where he could see me spreading and then closing my legs wide for him. I love teasing guys and girls. When his gf got up to go do something he looked over and I spread my legs and ran my middle finger up and down a few times on my blue jeaned slit, and then licked my f... Continue»
Posted by lilbigal 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Penile implant sex

This is a true story

I hope that men with erectile dysfunction take this information to heart.
Well let me start by saying I'm a 44 year old man that's been dealing with the fallout of a couple heart attacks and as a aside effect of my various medications that I'm on my Dick at first would work but I noticed that I could fuck for as long as I used to before my heart issues. I tried the pills, the pump, the muse system, all with no solid maintainable erection, so things with my wife were starting to get strained, and my confidence was shot. I told my doctor about my home issues with the wif... Continue»
Posted by Taboo69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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the funniest conversation during sex ever

ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.

him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."

me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly

him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"

me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Posted by Michele1234 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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More Confessions of the Locker Room


With my sky blue sports bag in hand, I travelled to my football team's training ground. I made sure to arrive just before half 8 in the morning, ready for our 9am departure time to take on our next opponents in a crucial league game. As I walked, I kept thinking about what had happened between me and Hannah in the showers yesterday evening. I was a little nervous about what we'll say when we see
eachother.

I walked through the small iron gates and headed into the lunchroom where most of my
teammates were sat about, talking and joking.

"Hey Sam." Hannah called, sitting on top of the... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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first online hookup (crazy fun)

As I log on to my social network of choice, I put down my bottle of cola for a moment to input the password. As the page loads up I taste the sugary drink. In the corner of the screen there is 1 new friend request. "Maria" 20.

I remember working with Maria a few years before that, she was about 3 years younger then me but she was pretty open about what she wanted, even when she was 15. I accept, thinking to myself "worth a shot now".

A few moments later an IM bubble pops up " hey stranger, how you doing ? :)". Great I responded. Over the next hour or so we ... Continue»
Posted by thekp 6 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The little boy with his trainset.... ( joke..!!! )

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Special Stuffing-Happy Thanksgiving


" I can't beleive I'm doing this"
A thick wet slap resounds from the steel sink. It is followed by a moist gurgle and then the sound of wet suction followed by another wet slap.
"Don't throw out the gizzards, they're for the gravy."
A trilling giggle hits my ear next, then something heavy and slimy.I turn my head to be met with a slick fleshy column of skin bending towards me.
"That's the neck.Rinse it off and put it in the skilllhehehet." I laugh, pushing her arm towards the sink.
Giggling, she emerses her long fingers beneath the shooting water faucet and rubs them up and down the di... Continue»
Posted by lookyloo 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Miranda

Two years ago I was working for an advertising agency. I had been an executive for several years when Miranda was hired. She was very bubbly, perky, voluptuous 23 year old. I have always had a weakness for curvy women. Miranda was a temp hire, she was filling a position by another woman who was one maternity leave. Soon after she started working there, several young men tried to woo her. On occasion I would use my dry sarcastic humor to scare away Miranda's would be suitors.
Miranda assisted me with monitoring the frequency and time of when our advertising ads aired. We met daily at 4:30pm d... Continue»
Posted by Daleharris 6 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Tight Pussy Dutch Hookers

Several years back, I took a lot of regular business trips to the Netherlands, where I would have to stay on business for several weeks at a time. My business would typically have me stay in a smaller inland city. The days and the hours were long, with business dinners every evening keeping me constantly occupied.

One weekend on a particularly long trip, I went on a walk to explore the town I was in. I’d occasionally run into a sex shop and I’d go in to browse the magazines. I’d sometimes stop and look through the European porn magazines that would show much more kink than American ma... Continue»
Posted by nvision 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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