Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

The Future Of Sex

It's the thirty first century and I'm a cop who just completed an assignment. Me and my parner busted some d**g kingpin importing d**gs from another planet making a killing. The d**g was similar to cocaine but only stronger and the both of us came and closed up shop permanently. Afterwards I went straight home and took a long warm shower. I stood there and let the water come crashing down my body feeling all the tension float away after a long day of catching the bad guys and kicking ass. ... Continue»
Posted by Wordman 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bare Beach By Bicycle

For foxy female friends - by Petra, granddod of Poet Pete, who hosts me here

I invite her for a trip to the beach by bicycle. I make sure she takes the racing bike up front.
I guide her through the greenery to the dunes through a natural park to the almost deserted beach.
I love to look at her legs and ass move up and down while she wheels just two meters ahead of me.
I wonder whether I should have asked her not to wear anything underneath that sexy short skirt?

I will get her wet when we bake in the sun on the warm sand almost out of view for shore walkers.
I already know how... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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sun tan

so your laying down on the beach, letting the sun burn your back you silly girl
suddenly you feel the cold drip of lotion on your back , quickly followed by warm hands massaging into your shoulders and down your back
you hear a voice saying"don"t look round", you decide not to as the rubbing feels so good and you needed lotion on your back anyway
the hands move slowly up and down your back, the fingers every now and then brushing against your breasts as you lay on your front, the hands slowly move lower on your back until they reach the top of your bum,
they slide beneath yo... Continue»
Posted by naughty66 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The name of the game is Innocence

This is not a sex story but a tale about a game me and my friend Jess use to play called Innocence. The purpose of the game is to get a friend to push their limits and revel themselves pretending to be none the wiser to a designated person known as the receiver.

The rules of the game are as follows:
1. Only play innocence in a controlled environment
2. Never put yourself in any danger
3. Never play innocence were people may get offended
4. Always choose your receiver carefully

If you decide to play innocence you do so under your responsibility and do not blame anyone else in rega... Continue»
Posted by HollyHorn1 18 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Wet Works

"You almost done Lilly?"

"Almost."

I was anxious for the weekend, but it wasn't because I had something to do. It was simply because I don't think people could understand how much pressure could be put on a person from a small print company in the middle of the city. We had a lot of high brow clientele and when lawyers want their paperwork they want it yesterday.

Snow had fallen and the ground was iced over in patches that day as I stood at the back door waiting for her to leave. I could feel the cold from outside through the wall. I took a look back at Lilly through the open door fro... Continue»
Posted by RichardSchwarz69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Seaman Sam

Hi I’m Sam. Mid 30’s, divorced, six feet tall, short black hair, great legs (if I say so!) and an athletic body, toned through my exercise routines and my sailing. And seven inches of uncut horny cock when engorged!

You see I own a small 4 berth boat and as an income I take people on cruises around the rivers and ports of the south of France. It’s not a big boat, but cosy enough. I go where they want and do what they want. We can stop at ports or beaches, small islands or the mainland. Offshore or on a river.

Mainly the people are of a certain age, shall we say. And the views on the sun ... Continue»
Posted by PurplePal 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The masseuse wore pigtails and short summer skirt

I had just finished my work out in the crummy gym near my job and I was feeling sore.I was all sweaty too,even though I had taken a shower.It was upstairs from an even crummier massage parlour,where it was well known that "extras" were available.Well, I had never paid for sexual services in my life,and I wasn't starting now.
But as I walked past the door I could see there was a new girl on the desk.And fuck she was hot.She was Chinese,which rarely did anything for me,but this girl was H.O.T.
She was wearing a school girls uniform,even though she looked about 21.but she had the top 3 or 4 but... Continue»
Posted by jackelaine 8 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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'little s*s' chapter 7

He walked up right as we did. He eyed me up and down like he wanted to eat me. He asked Jason ‘is this going to ruin our friendship. Are you going to treat me like shit because I fucked your girl?’ Jason was honest. He said ‘I love her more than you can ever imagine. But I fucked up so bad she deserves a damn good fuck and total revenge.’ This boy grew up with us. He was in my sixth grade class.

Jason busted out with ‘I popped lauren’s cherry and I was never going to tell her about it. My b*****r ratted me out. You know lauren has treated her like shit even though they were best fucking fri... Continue»
Posted by halinaplays 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Aman fucking maid Fatima




Due to some function my relatives had to visit the native place for two weeks. I didn't joined them coz of my upcoming semester exams....& they left at next morning...I was little happy as I got full freedom to freakout with my friends & to do party......!!! but at same time was unhappy when my relatives told me about fatima that she would disturb my privacy with her routine works.....!!

But managed my mind with that thought. Next morning I was sl**ping till late when she knocked my door......i was still in sl**p....walked in my boxers & opened the door & again felt on bed for sl**p. ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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First Blow Slightly coincidental.

First Blow
Slightly coincidental.
A little bit of background information.
We had come in the club for a few years. It was a place where you could come, sit and relax, be with your partner, or be with other people. Usually there was access for all, all adults that is, but they had try to make one evening a month just for couples, male/female, sunday night.


Angel, my wife, was dressed in a shiny black dress with a discreet red white pattern.
Under she had black corset, black stockings, garter Belt and lace panties and short stiletto boots.

We arrived at the club in the belief that i... Continue»
Posted by joemidnight53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Freshman Felatio 101

It was the fall of my sophomore year in college and I had just moved into a new apartment and I had put up an ad for a room mate to help cover the expenses. A number of girls had called but the one I settled on was a girl named Alicia who was just a freshman but her parents were well to do and she didn't want to live in the dorms. Most of the other girls I either knew by name or reputation and I really didn't want my pad to become party central.

Alicia was a small town girl, who was still dating her high school sweet heart, who was stuck at home attending junior college because he couldn't... Continue»
Posted by oralTcmlvr 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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[b]The Sticky Dance Floor[/b]

Damn, I hated the noise. No matter where you went, it was the same. Somehow, the deejays around the world must have all gone to the same identical music store. There, they learned to turn the volume up until it hurt and loudspeakers only produced distortion.

Even here at the bar, it was near impossible to hear the barmaid. She showed me four fingers, meaning four dollars for my beer. I wondered what sign she would make for five dollars and seventy-five cents? She was a beautiful woman with reddish hair and a little bit shorter than me. Maybe five foot six. Like most barmaids, she was dresse... Continue»
Posted by vstein 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Audition Part One

And so began my screening interview and my first adventure into the world of adult films. Once I got past all the legal bullshit the questions were kind of fun to answer.

Had I ever had gay sex before?

"Everyone in the room seemed gay and happy about what I was doing to them at the time."

********************************************************************************

There was a guest speaker for the monthly meeting of the Pleasant Town Trans-gender League. This guy was so full of shit it wasn't funny. He supposedly represented someone wanting to do a documentary... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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three phases

A f****y is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. ... Continue»
Posted by dashingboy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sex With Tuition Teacher’s Sexy Mom



[bMy name is kumar (name changed) and i was 16 years old i was studying diploma in B’lore. When i was failed in 5 subjects my mom send to tuition in my near home.my tuition teacher name is pooja and she is studying in engg final year and her mom name is sridevi with a big whitish boobs big ass white navel.let me describe the story

One day when my grand father died my f****y has gone to my village due to my exams i was in tuition teacher’s home. By that her husban... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Indian - How i lost myself to Karim's in his

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The Karim s Studio


The morning sun broke out earlier than usual and was cajoling my face rather sharply through our bedroom window. I woke up, preparing myself for another hot & humid day. It was a proper May. My husband, Raj was on the last stretch of his sl**p. He really appreciates that part. So, not wanting to disturb him I sneaked out of the room and headed for the toilet. When I am in there, I started brushing my teeth and felt the totally damp nightie clinging on to my back due to the power cut we had earlier in the morning. The same soaked... Continue»
Posted by ssantham 11 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Hot Affair

Tossing and turning on the bed; she found that sl**p would not come to her, as her mind was full of vivid memories of the days fun they had just enjoyed. A smile came across her face as she remembered each detail of their Anniversary dinner. Choosing a more private affair than most they had decided to go to the local park with a blanket. Once there she realised there was no food. Arching an eyebrow questioning at him he had laughed, pulled her down onto the blanket, lifted her skirt and started to lick and suck her clit. Every so often lifting his head to insert a finger into her wet pulsin... Continue»
Posted by craigus44 6 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Pre-Nup Agreement (a Chrissie Conway Story)

The Pre-Nup Agreement


Several years ago one of Kellys' friends had a b*****r who was getting married in Reno and a bunch of us girls
decided we would all get together for a wild weekend reunion. I unfortunately had several of my regular clients to see
on Thursday and Friday afternoon and wouldn't be able to depart for Reno until early Friday evening. Needless to say by
the time I arrived the ladies were already in a crazy celebratory mood. I'd had several drinks on the flight so I wasn't entirely
unprepared once I got to Reno.
I had the valet hire me a taxi and headed for the Cal... Continue»
Posted by chrissieCD 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Fully Dressed

Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????

I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.

One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A Fun Saturday Night



Man, what to say. So on Saturday March 30th, I lost half of my virginity. More specifically, I got a handjob. Now, if youre excepting some super erotic story or whatever, this isnt going to be it.

Getting on to the story. In good ole Pensacola, Florida. Me, my friend(who I will just call Scarlet) and her other friend(who I will just call Tessa) went to the park. It was suppose to be just a regular day of goofing off. But Scarlet thought itd be funny to pour soap all over my car. I was already just tired from just playing around on at park, mainly i was light headed becaus... Continue»
Posted by fail1080 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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