Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

Vacation Drive

Finally, we had our own car back and it was just in time too. We had already planned our vacation and even rented our room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee starting the following night. I lay in bed next to my wife as she was reading. She had a confused look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This sounds fake.” She replied, pointing at a page in the book. “But, I don’t know cars.” I rolled to face her.
“What sounds fake?”
She began to read to me from the book, which turned out to be a compilation of letters from the Penthouse Forum. It had been left at our house in Minnesota by one or the other ... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 670  |  
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The Homebrew

On the Friday of Faye's third week of absence from the lab, our boss sent me round to check on her. There's only so long you can play the "bit of a bug" card before it becomes taking the piss.

When I rang her bell and waited, I didn't think she was going to answer. It even crossed my mind that she might have bagged a sneaky last-minute flight to somewhere decidedly warmer than dreary old Scotland and had been phoning in her "still not better, I'm afraids" from a poolside somewhere gloriously hot. If I hadn't already been pissed off at her for making me cover her workload, that thought pushe... Continue»
Posted by Kinnie 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 669  |  
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Late Night Eggroll Delivery

I'm feeling pretty good today. An old friend of mine stopped by last night and we slept together. Susan is a gorgeous 38 year old redhead with a luscious body and a pair of really big breasts. When she gets excited, which is pretty much all the time, her nipples swell hugely. I swear that they become an inch long and they're very thick too. I just love to suck on them. Her clitoris swells hugely too and it is heaven to suck it into your mouth.

Susan and I didn't get to bed (sl**p) until pretty early this morning because we were in this 69 for two or three hours last night. I... Continue»
Posted by sparky1721 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 668  |  
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An unexpected erotic high heel moment.

The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.

I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 668  |  
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Paradise Island: Part 1

29, Single white male seeks similar age female with good looks and vibrant personality. I’m getting tired of writing that on internet dating sites. I started this journal to release my inner thoughts on paper but so far I've only confirmed my sexual inadequacies and personal hang ups. I’m creeping ever closer to 30 and I’m yet to find ’The one’ I've had 3 relationships in the past 10 years and had sex about as many times. I’m beginning to realise life isn't like the movies.
I've read plenty of erotic stories on the internet and seen even more Porn films. I should be an expert at this stuff... Continue»
Posted by Skats 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 668  |  
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Theatrical....18

Theatrical…..18
So back to this evening, we drove off to the hotel, Julia and I marched through reception again, while my friend booked us in and got the key, same room, as we went to the room a door opened in front of us and the black waiter came out carrying his tunic, he smiled and walked past us back to the reception, “is that?” Julia asked, “yes, he seems popular all of a sudden” I said smiling at her, we got to the room and I threw myself onto the couch, kicking off my shoes as I chuckled at the recollection of what had happened,
Gerald came into the lounge from the bathroom where he ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 669  |  
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What a woman really wants....

Men always wonder what woman want. Well I can tell you what this woman wants. It's three simple things....

1.Being told they are beautiful even if in their eyes they don't see it...someday they might. Even if she insists she's not she is just trying to take away years of hearing negative things and doesn't know how to take the good complaiment.

2. They like the know they needed and in return know they are appreciated and not just a warm piece of meat next to you at night or middle of day.

3. Every once in a while woman like for men to do something out of their comfort zone. Send her f... Continue»
Posted by dragonsbell 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 669  |  
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Sexy Sadie

My senior year of high school was filled with college apps, schoolwork, and spending most of my time hanging out with my friends, especially since we all would be going our separate ways when we went off on our separate ways to college. One day during lunch, my best friend Anthony invited all of us to the annual Halloween party his parents threw. The previous two years, I had been busy so I was often unable to go. However, this year I really wanted to go and get a chance to spend time with Anthony and my other friends. Plus, the good thing was I didn't have to dress up or look stupid or a... Continue»
Posted by tommytrojan 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 665  |  
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5 Tips to Keep Your Girl Happy

When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.

These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 666  |  
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Christmas Holly

It was early Christmas morning; actually it was 1:30am, when Holly awoke and heard and rustle, she couldn`t place where it was coming from. Suddenly she spotted a figure emerge from around the bedroom door. She knew it wasn’t Luke as he had his firm cock nestled along the crack of her bum cheeks; Holly could tell Luke was dreaming of one of the video`s they had watched on xhamster last night.

Suddenly the figure approached the edge of the bed and you Holly saw that it was Flasher974 Santa; he was dressed in a full Father Christmas outfit with hat, beard, coat and red trousers and black sh... Continue»
Posted by flasher974 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 664  |  
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my travel

My Experience in London
What impressed me a lot were the buildings in London like the buildings along Regent Street & Oxford Street which are of typical British style.Even the common residential houses were so nice.But houses looked similar,it wasn't easy for me to find the right way every time.

When people are talking about U.K.,talking about London,they have to refer to Buckingham Palace,Tower of London National Gallery and the British Museum.Luckily,I visited all of these great sights.Now they are not only big names to me,but also a part of my experience,a part of my memory.

Buckingh... Continue»
Posted by GlamorBaby 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 664  |  
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Me and My Bestfriend Jake

This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.

My friend and as a lover:


It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Posted by dianneforbes16 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 663  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening: Part 2

Trevor opened his eyes as the first rays of the Morning sun streamed through the open blinds.

"Did that really happen?" he asked himself. A quick glance at the bed next to him revealed Brad's lady friend Mandy, nude lying facedown in the bed. Trevor placed his hand on the small of her back and as he felt the warmth of her soft skin the events of the previous night came flooding back.

He noted that she couldn't have been less interested in him, and that it wasn't until he removed his glasses and looked at her with his naked eyes that she became sexually aroused. Perhaps the Crystallized... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 663  |  
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THE TRUTH ABOUTEATING PUSSY LADIES

I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke... Continue»
Posted by swat_tx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 661  |  
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Unplanned Ultimate Sex With Swati



This story is about Swati (name changed for obvious reasons) and me. It all started when I was in std 12(2005). It was winter time and all schools were closed for Christmas. After scoring high grades in 10th, I moved to the capital city and was staying in a PG. My father’s ex colleague and his wife were my LG and were the only people I knew in the city. It was f****y of 4 : Husband, wife, daughter Swati(23 yrs) and son sanju (20). Lemme tell you about Sonam. She
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 662  |  
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She Got to be a Cake

"I'd love to french kiss you," she said.

"Oh?" he teased.

She replied insistingly, " I'm going to French kiss you, put my lips on yours, part my lips, then push my tongue through my lips and into your mouth, swish it around in a little mating dance to attract the attention of your tongue, and then do the most French of all kisses."

"I can do the Belgian kiss, which is similar because they speak French there, and at the end we spit out a waffle. Also, it might take a little more to seduce my tongue then you might think. You know, I served as a Lieutenant in the Merchant Marines, and... Continue»
Posted by palbatross 8 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 661  |  
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--

This is the story of my first sexual experience with another female. I was 27 married for six years. We had a great sex life at first. We had sex several times a week. As time went by our sex life diminished in quality and quantity. My husband Dave began spending more time with the guys than me. He went out with the guys and I got to stay home with our daughter Arielle.

One Friday night when Dave was out playing cards with the guys, I put Arielle to sl**p and went online. Out of a combination of being bored, horny and curious I went into a chat room labeled F4F. When word got out in the roo... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 660  |  
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The Turkish truck diver

The Turkish truck driver.

She burst through the arrivals door at the airport and into the lounge, I could tell that she was horny because she tried to explore my tonsils with her tongue as soon as we connected, I managed to disengage and said “hello” we hugged close again and she tried to bury her face in my neck attempting to bite me but having experienced this before I was ready for it and managed to hold her off while I picked her bags off the trolley.
This by the way is my current girlfriend, she is American born and works in Switzerland as a P.A to a banking director, she is 32 years ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 662  |  
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The Cross Dresser and The Big Fat Fuck

As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.

When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.

********************************************************************************

Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 664  |  
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The Party

I did not write this, just enjoy.



"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settle then," Brenda said happily, ... Continue»
Posted by snake_500011 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 659  |  
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