Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

The Deal

The Stories I’m writing here are absolutely true.

2010, July 22
About 8:15 pm

I almost wanted to fall on my knees and thank God when it began to rain after it had 34° Celsius the whole day. It was not a heavy rainfall, but you could already feel the temperature sinking on your skin and see how the cold water fell to the ground and the cars. Nevertheless, the film I saw together with Claude in the drive-in theatre was ruined but as lucky as we have been the movie ended anyway. I let him take me out this evening, three days after my quite albuminous I made a decision. I was single, had my... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 627  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 16

Dear Dirty Diary,

Thanksgiving weekend all the Huntingdon stores started pushing their winter fashions, so Louise and I went shopping. Even with all the closet space in our new apartment, I had to do some fall-cleaning to make room. I dumped out my pantyhose and tights drawer on the bed beside my relaxing husband.

Each pair I got rid of, Doug would pick up, carefully examine, then like an old fart would ask, “What’s wrong with these?”

I’d point out the runs in the expensive ones and the starchy feet and sags of the cheap ones. I hesitated for too long before tossing out one ... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 626  |  
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Fifty Shades of Stockholm Syndrome Chapter 1

Chapter 1 An introduction of sorts
Julian Beige was the toast of the art world, everything he did was a hit from his seminal work “My favourite wank blanket” to “Hey dude where’s the toilet paper”. His fortune kept on rising he was the most bankable artist on the planet. But, Julian had a problem he had no one to fill the hole in his life. Of course Julian liked to fill holes from his “lying naked with lots of naked girls” in which he had to spend eight hours having to endure naked girls covered in baby oil from the ages of 18 to 23 rubbing themselves against him. He did mull about “lying na... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 625  |  1

New U Salon

New U SalonThe Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive
Titles · Authors · Categories · Readers' Picks · FAQ · What's New · Message
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Author: Zon19
Story: New U SalonNew U Salon
By Zon19
(mc, md, gr)
The following is a storyline that was started on the BE Archive's Adventure,
"Unending BE." Feel free to visit the archive or its extendable addventure at
http://www.bearchive.com. This particular story was written by myself and L.E.
through the extendable addventure. I have compiled and elaborated on the initial
plot and present it to you, the reader, as a stand-alo... Continue»
Posted by SharonwithTitsout 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 624  |  
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Planning my Punishment - A Conversation with my Ma

I was talking with my Dom, earlier today and we were reminiscing about the indiscretions I had while I was married. Its not like it didn't happen once or twice, it occurred multiple times and in different ways with each time getting more brazen. He couldn't believe that my husband did not have the balls to punish a relentless little slut like me and put me in my place. Especially since he wanted to remain married to me. Yet he never set me on a path where I would forget cheating, cybersex, phone sex, webcamming or have any sexual contact with another man (or woman) without his explicit consent... Continue»
Posted by Kinkster-Gal 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 624  |  
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My foreign boyfriend.

This is a real experience guys, I had a boyfriend from London once and I spoke to him recently, we are no longer together because of the distance thing. We were on cam and everything, and I don't know how but we ended up talking about when we used to fuck... it was a bit embarrasssing because we don't talk about that shit anymore - it's the past. It really turned me on and I figured maybe it would be an interesting read.

It's not one of those erotic or dirty normal stories, it may be a bit boring or whatever but anyway.. Read on if you got the time - maybe it will make ... Continue»
Posted by xxxsarah69xxx 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 622  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 2)

Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.

As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 622  |  
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Payback

12.00am - I was in the bathroom and I placed the weapons in the holdall of our backpacks. "We have got to get this right!" commanded one girlfriend. Another one of my girlfriends sat in the reclining chair, pondering. "Having second thoughts?" "Me? no way" said another one of my girlfriends. "Its pay back". I stepped out of the bathroom and ushered the girls to the door. There were four of us.

12.30am - It was night and the air was cool. We pulled up outside John Rosh Avenue, near the Olympic Park, in London,. Very quietly, we approached No 41, pulled on our stockings over our head... Continue»
Posted by rockyharte 1 month ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 621  |  
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The Italian Job 16

The Italian Job 16
Italian weddings are very special things with lots of singing and dancing and eating and drinking, I know English weddings are meant to be the same but they do not seem to have the flair of the Mediterranean countries and especially a village wedding where everyone knows everyone including all their relatives both dead and alive, so when Sonia’s daughter decided to get married to one of the village lads the village started to make preparations in a big way, the bunting came out as well as the balloons and the flags and of course the preparations for a street party, mention ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 620  |  
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Mailman'sLast Day

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole f****y there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a $25 gift certificate to a fine restaurant.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a box of chocolates.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand and led him... Continue»
Posted by AnlosBiWifey 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 620  |  
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My very first Story

(This is the first erotic story I ever attempted)

I woke up untangled myself from our embrace and went to quietly have a shower and get all cleaned up while you slumbered on lost into the land of dreams.



I quietly sneak back into bed stretching luxuriously loving the feeling of being all fresh and clean. It must have been some dream you were having as I noticed a tent in the sheet as quietly as I could I wriggled down to the end of the bed and gently pushed you onto your back, waited a few moments for you to settle back into deep sl**p, I gently made room between your legs my hair ... Continue»
Posted by ssbbwcuddlyslut 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 621  |  
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Walk in the woods

I was taking a walk one spring evening in the hills behind my house. When I rounded a bend, a strange sight suddenly confronted me: a man in bright colored clothing was coming towards me. When he saw me, he made an exaggerated stop and promptly walked up to me and pulled a flower from behind my ear. He gave it to me with an elaborate bow, then beckoned me to follow him. By now, this strange clown had caught my interest, so I was more than willing to follow him. I have been fascinated by clowns since I was a k**, and this one wasn’t bad to look at either.

He led me to a wooded, seclude... Continue»
Posted by X_PAC6969 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 618  |  
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The State Cop

Last year, around Christmas time, I was back on the East
Coast for Christmas break. I had borrowed my b*****r's new
Corvette, (b*****r is a newly licensed physician) and headed out
to a Christmas party in the Highlands. This was the first time I
had been separated from my SO in a year, so I guess I was feeling
a little unattached.
I got to the party and it was wonderful. I had a couple of
champagnes and danced away most of the night. At 1 am my ex-
boyfriend from high school came in with his newly acquired
fiance. I hadn't seen Danny in 3 years, and I was a little taken
aba... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 618  |  
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Jan 1973 Bondi Beach

This is only part of a WORK IN PROGRESS


As the singer was exhorting the crowd to take part, she took three steps in my direction and smiled even more. She said the line perfectly in tune "I looked at you" and I answered, "You looked at me" and we both laughed. Another miracle, this was a girl who liked The Doors almost as much as I did. “I smiled at you," she said, and again I answered, "You smiled at me." At the exact moment the band on stage finished their intro to the war song both of us sang together, "And we're on OUR way."
Everyone in the crowd heard it and wonde... Continue»
Posted by DocW 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 618  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 619  |  
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A story for the holidays

Christmas is a time of joy and happiness, OR boredom and loneliness.

Let me back up a bit, Christmas time, three years ago, sometime during the night, my cock was running in and out of Anna's pussy. It was all wet down there, well lubricated and it was fun. I was kissing her shoulder, fiddling her titties and ramming her pussy with my cock. Back, forth, back, forth, ... Anna turns over, she kisses me on the lips and starts sucking them. I am fingering her around her butt hole and spreading her butt cheeks while pushing her lower body to rub her pussy on my body. We didn't do it anally excep... Continue»
Posted by happytaquito 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 618  |  
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The Italiano..!!

An Italian man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table. ...Alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she will be his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it to her saying who it came from. She looks at the bottle and decides to send a note over to the man. The note said "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank , and 7 inches in your pants.." ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 617  |  
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Right hand, left lane

Right hand, left lane

A little poem of love for
a teen driving dangerously


Right hand driving
Fast, hence left lane
On the road again
From West to East
From Left to Right
And back again
High speed, I know

Your little secret

It´s the hole in your pocket.
I know you did it on purpose.
Irish red-head swinging to the East.
Singing a song of love and longing.

Who are you? Old enough to drive?
A sexy hole in your pocket.
So you can drive very fast?

Your button of love

I know your dirty little secret.
You press your special button
All th... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 617  |  
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Going Dogging

(Mature lady takes on two)

As I went to get us a nightcap I saw the barman glance across to Eileen and smile. I followed his gaze to see that Eileen had apparently carelessly allowed her skirt to ride up over her stocking tops and as she uncrossed her legs was giving him and I a good stretch of creamy thigh and a flash of her newly shaven pussy. She smiled when she saw us glancing across and slowly crossed her legs to leave her short tight black skirt still a good few inches short of her lace top hold-ups.

As he gave me our drinks he smiled and said" you are a lucky man". I realised this... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 617  |  
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MORE OUCH ..

Okay so I have been thinking about it for a while but today I did it, I went into the premises and up the stairs and waited my turn.

A gorgeous young lady beckoned me in to a room where I took clothes off, not all of them, just some.

Then she sat me in a reclining chair and started to play with my nipples! Now I do not get a hard on nowadays but I definitely got a flicker in the knickers so to speak.

She very carefully massaged one and then the other and did all manner of horny things with her hands.

Then after a moment or two she smiled nicely at me and 'HOLY FUCKING OUCH!!' That... Continue»
Posted by AussieJonno 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 617  |  
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