Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 684  |  
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Photo Album:Teacher's Pet, Part Two

Dr. C. Chambers Post, grew up in a religious Roman Catholic home in a working class neiborhood in Queens, NY. As a young man, he knew he was different from the other boys in his school. But with a strong religious mother and distant transit worker father, he felt it best to keep his sexual predilictions to himself. He was tall, 6'2", handsome, young man with a well built body. As a 17 yo high school senior, he enjoyed being persued by the young ladies in their circle of friends. His two older b*****rs had followed their father in the transit buisness, where if they worked hard for 25... Continue»
Posted by Blondkid2020 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 683  |  
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truth or dare

I am not sure who suggested truth or dare but we all seemed up for it.

There were 6 of us all together you me and two other couples.
It started pretty tame, truths about hoe many people we had slept with, telling fantasies ect .....
I think everyone was getting a bit horny from listening to all this talk if sex and with quite a few drinks down our necks we were all up for some dare's!
One of the girls seemed a bit apprehensive when you asked her to show how she gives head on a banana so we came to an agreement that we would have teams. Boys against girls.
We all did the dare, i showed ... Continue»
Posted by nicecock23 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 683  |  
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UNCOMFORTABLE ...

My Wife and I felt very uncomfortable with a situation to be happened a few years ago ...

There was a business meeting with a supporting programm for golfers. So, we decided to go together there ...

We worked hard at day an had a funny evening in the wine yards benath RHINE, Germany ...

And, as always, we belonged to the last at the bar ...

You have to know, that SHE can squirt as hell, when she is in the right mood ...

This night she was in the right mood, and so were I ...

Next day we had business as usual and in the afternoon some golfing ...

The next and last morning, ... Continue»
Posted by vulkanasche 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 682  |  
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Slutty Sarah is back !

I didn’t think I’d hear from Sarah the Slut again, after this blog caused her to break up with her boyfriend, but last week she rang me and said she needed someone to talk to. She came over to my place and obviously wanted to talk about something, but couldn’t find a way of starting the subject. I gave her a few drinks and she started to talk. She’d been up to her slutty ways again. She said…..

‘I just have to talk to someone. I must tell someone, I just must. I’ve been so, so bad and I can’t sl**p just thinking about it.

It was a couple of weeks ago. You remember Maria, the Fren... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 682  |  
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I Demand A Do Over!

This is the story about how I lost my virginity. Some of my f****y live in small towns and we i go to visit them, we party (btw, this story is one the main reasons i don't drink anymore). Here I am, enjoying myself, and then all of a sudden, Bam! There she was. She was hot and to be honest, I didn't think I had a change with her. However, with the help of my cousin, I meet her(totally forgot her name). So, were talking and all off a sudden she wanted to dance. In the middle of the 3rd slow jam, I seemed to have "poked" her. Next thing I know, were upstairs. I remember kissing, and getting suck... Continue»
Posted by JFry 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 680  |  
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I should have done it.

When I was uni-student. One day I was going to a book store by motorcycle.
I was aware a woman walking this way. Passing beyond, we turned our eyes each other.
I murmured "she is tight!" in my heart. When I was reading a book in a sotre, someone
stood by me and pushed stucked book down to my side ..
I faced that person. She was there! She didn't look at me but seemed to expect something.
After a while she moved to exit and stopped to face me for a moment.
I was too square to chase her. I should have done it.... Continue»
Posted by tatsu403 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 679  |  
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Damaged scrotum story

A vicar asks his congregation if anyone would like to express thanks for their answered prayers.

A young woman makes her way to the front of the church and turns to face the congregation. "I would like to give thanks to my answered prayers! she announces. "Six months ago, my husband, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was agonizing and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

A stifled gasp came from every man in the congregation as they imagined the pain that the poor man must have experienced.

The young woman continued, "My ... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 679  |  
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Dirty Japanese SLANG

Dirty Japanese

__BASICS / MISCELLANEOUS

Etchi.
Gross.


Chikan.
Pervert / m*****or.


Unko.
Unchi.
Kuso.
Shit.


Unching style.
Squatting, as in taking a shit.


Noguso.
Field shit, squatting position.


Shonben.
Piss.


Tachi shon.
Take a leak (standing).


Oshikko.
Urination.


Shishi.
Take a pee.


Eroi.
Obscene.


Tsureshon.
Cross pissing; two guys go to the bathroom together.


Tachishon shiteru.
Take a piss / Take a whiz.


Gehin.
Low class / V... Continue»
Posted by LeeHann 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 680  |  
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Worming, or I like tribbing with my girlfriend

It just occurred to me why I like tribbing. Tribbing, for those of you who don't know, is when two girls do a scissor lock on each others naked pussies. They rub their pussies together, causing pressure and some friction. Their clits make contact and they start to get wet, and then they slip and slide against each others creamy, dewy pulsating pussies. Erotic as hell! I start sneezing whenever I see it!

I'VE tribbed with a girl! Yes sir, I'm a 110% hetero male, but I tribbed with my girl friend way back when the earth was flat and young people felt not pain or knew what it was like ... Continue»
Posted by George178 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 678  |  
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WHAT I WILL LIKE TO DO

what i would like to do
Well where do I start? I suppose from the start ,I have so many things I would like to try ,but I will have to go slow ,and build it up until the weekend ,and then step it up a notch, think I just start off very slow and work my way up ,I really don’t know until we try for the first time ,and see how everything fits .I am just going to lay there with you and hold you tight I have been waiting for this for a long time ,but one thing I know for sure ,I am going to pussy .lick ,suck and tease your pussy ,real slow ,and not give you the full treatment ,by looking at the p... Continue»
Posted by alwaysREADY2please 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 676  |  
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Crack Addict prt. 4

You wanna do what ?!!

I want you to lay down on your stomach. I'm gonna rub this vial of baby oil on your ass cheeks and then I'm going to rub my dick in the crack of your ass until I cum. Preferably, I'd like to rub said cum all over your ass cheeks with my dick.

Man, you crazy ... Crazy as fuck.

But I got money.


I pulled a loose wad of cash from my pocket and gestured towards the prostitute. She giggled like an old hag and reached for the money.

you sure that's all you wanna do right ? I mean you aint gonna slip inot the booty hole or nothin and cla... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 676  |  
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What women think while having sex

Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.

Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.

And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.

"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as s... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 675  |  
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The name's James Hard-on. Part I

In case you are wondering, this is a James Bond gay spoof.

Riding in a personal e****t vehicle and in the back, I felt nice and cozy in my suit and white tie. I looked down as I sat in the large seat and could feel a nice poking in my black trousers. A nice tent rising up to meet me as I got comfy in my dress slacks. Damn it felt so good to be horny!

The portable screen in front of me shut on and a white haired woman named B appeared. I almost closed my legs at the surprise. I was never used to that woman showing up unexpectedly.

"James Hard-on."
"That's my name."
"Enough of your je... Continue»
Posted by damlovmature 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 675  |  
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suck that cock bitch

My x wife and I had been wanting to explore our sexual boundries after our encounter with her friend camille! I said I tell you what, since camille was here last week I will call wess and we can both fuck your pussy tonite you know what I want daddy? I said what baby? she said well you know you are his idol and he will do anything you ask him to rt?I said I guess she said I want you to fuck his mouth and then fuck his ass while he fucks me,I said put on ur school girl skirt and top and get ready for us! She said I'm gonna turn on the cameras in here yes I said do that I told her when he gets h... Continue»
Posted by jwmax420 11 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 678  |  
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The walk in park. The real story.

This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 674  |  
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A new found friend.

Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Posted by Mads69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 676  |  
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Susie Wong

A little background: Eddie, a friend of mine, and I take alternate shifts at a security office. The office is usually quiet, we just have to be there, be responsible, watch the monitors, that sort of thing. At night no one ever visits.

Well, no one except Eddie's wife Susie. She's half-Chinese, very attractive, very outgoing, and with a mouth and attitude like a Marine on shore leave! She'd had quite an upbringing in this Navy town and was quite the handful for her Chinese father, a first-generation immigrant, and her American redneck mother! (Those two are another whole story, but ne... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 673  |  
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Vacation Drive

Finally, we had our own car back and it was just in time too. We had already planned our vacation and even rented our room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee starting the following night. I lay in bed next to my wife as she was reading. She had a confused look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This sounds fake.” She replied, pointing at a page in the book. “But, I don’t know cars.” I rolled to face her.
“What sounds fake?”
She began to read to me from the book, which turned out to be a compilation of letters from the Penthouse Forum. It had been left at our house in Minnesota by one or the other ... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 670  |  
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The Homebrew

On the Friday of Faye's third week of absence from the lab, our boss sent me round to check on her. There's only so long you can play the "bit of a bug" card before it becomes taking the piss.

When I rang her bell and waited, I didn't think she was going to answer. It even crossed my mind that she might have bagged a sneaky last-minute flight to somewhere decidedly warmer than dreary old Scotland and had been phoning in her "still not better, I'm afraids" from a poolside somewhere gloriously hot. If I hadn't already been pissed off at her for making me cover her workload, that thought pushe... Continue»
Posted by Kinnie 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 669  |  
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