Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 66
I woke with my husband kneeling beside the couch shaking me gently, I had disposed of the evidence the night before during a toilet visit, “sweetheart” he said, “yes” I said sl**pily, “I’m sorry about last night, I was being a prick and I know it, I know that things have not been good for a while but I will make it up to you, I promise, I had thought about taking you out this weekend but you seem to have scuppered that with your own plans” he said, I, leaned forward and kissed him, “why on earth didn’t you say, I have promised Mary and Julia now, if you had mentioned it I cou... Continue»
Phoebe couldn’t stand it. Rachel had been talking all
night. That wouldn’t have been so bad, she enjoyed an
all-girl bull session, but Rachel kept turning the
conversation back to sex. She was a little d***k. They
both were. They’d been to a party near Phoebe’s
apartment, had a lot of sangria, and Rachel asked if
she could crash with Phoebe.
She’d said yes but now, lying in bed next to her in big
t-shirts and panties, she was regretting it. Rachel had
broken up with Tag six weeks ago, and she’d not slept
with anyone since. Phoebe could sympathize...it had
actually been ... Continue»
(Sexy conservative wife is put into uncomfortable situations)
"You look so good in your Calvin Klein suit, darling!" I told Jake as he hurried out the door with his orange juice sloshing out of the glass and across his fingers. He was running late for the sales meeting at the brokerage.
I love my husband so much! He's not one of those pretty boy types. Instead, he's a man's man; big, strong and very capable of taking care of himself in any situation, physical or otherwise! Jake's the kind of guy that knows what he wants and gets it. I guess that's why he has me!
"Thanks, Katy! You kno... Continue»
Like most towns do these days we have our share of adult entertainment establishments. One day I decided to reward myself after a hard day’s work and visit one. As usual, when I entered the place in the middle of the day, the interior is very dark and I couldn’t see shit until my eyes could adjust. I walked in feeling like a blind man; my hands reaching out in front of me feeling around making sure I wasn’t going to run into something or someone. I hoped I wasn’t going to trip over a table but I didn’t mind if my arms wrapped around one of the ladies who were dancing there. Just as long as the... Continue»
a few years ago i was a sophmore in college and i was kind of struggling to get used to the whole college life and stuff. I havnt had any long term relationships, as a matter of fact ive never had one more than a couple of weeks. that semester i said to myself "im gonna change this and get something going"; around that time i noticed a girl, she was my swimming proffesor and was only a year older than me.
this girl was probably the most beautiful girl i have ever seen ( in all honesty she really is) she had shoulder length black hair that had a very unique glossy texture. s... Continue»
Man gets to lead the life of a rich man...if only for a day...
Back in the day, the early 1980's to be precise, I was badly in need. In need of a job, to be more specific. These were times of prosperity for most. The Dow had recently hit 2000, which was a record. The economy was booming and would continue to do so throughout most of the decade. Everyone and everything seemed to be doing great, except for me. Being the remarkably perceptive dude he was, my friend Rich sensed my need for employment. He had recently started a small company installing and mai... Continue»
My fantasy video would be one where a white couple were having an argument because the lady just found out her husband had been having an affair, the shouting prompts neighbours in the motel to call the police. Three big black cops turn up and have to restrain the husband and put him in the back of a police car...they tell him if they can get her to calm down they wont put him in jail, and they all take turns to go in and try to convince her to forgive him for cheating on her, satisfied that the lady is recompensed they reunite the couple , have them kiss and make up and tell each other how mu... Continue»
I was nervous, as you would imagine, on my first night as a male stripper. Most men would have a knot in their stomach before taking their clothes off in front of a baying crowd of middle aged, cock starved chav women. I, however, had another worry.
As it happened, I didn't want to be a stripper, far from it, but my rent was due and I had spent all of my money on a new inflatable sex doll. This might sound a little frivolous, but her pussy was supposedly modelled on Spring Thomas. Unfortunately that meant my penis didn't touch the sides of Spring's plastic cunt, and I had to jerk off as usu... Continue»
Patient to doctor: The problem is that obesity runs in our f****y. Doctor to patient: No.............the problem's that no one runs in your f****y.
I was walking home late one night and saw a woman in the shadows.
"Ten pounds . ." she whispers.
I'd never been with a prostiture before, so i decided, it’s only a tenner,why not, So we hide in the bushes.
Were going at it for a minute or so when all of a sudden a light flashes on us. It’s a policeman.,"Ello ello ello,What’s going on here, " asks the officer.
"I’m making love to my wife!, " i answered indignantly.
"Oh, I’m sorry, " say... Continue»
my name is Aman, i am 23 years old and i live in Gurgaon, Delhi. I am a good looking guy, 6 ft. tall. This is my first story so sorry for the mistakes. Getting to the story now
It was a hot afternoon in Delhi and i was at my bhabhi’s place as she had invited me for lunch. She was recently married and she had all the curves a woman could have. She was wearing an orange color kurti and black skinny fit leggings. She was looking very sexy and like a newly married woman her face was glowing. She had a fair complexion and her siz
I have been talking with men, and, most men say 'They like to fuck a smelling foul pussy!' because, it give them pleasure during sex, and, like the smell of sex in the room, more like a workout.
My quesion is, What do you prefer, a smelling foul pussy? or, a pussy don't have no scent at all?
PS. If wondering about my pussy, my pussy don't have no scent.... Continue»
During my freshmen year in High School I was new to this country. I didn't much about it. My f****y had just moved from Mexico to California and we had no clue how different things worked here, and how similiar were other things. When I was living in Mexico we had no money, but every month my mom managed to pay the rent. A man would come in every first of the month and ask for the money. My mom would ask me to go to my room. Then she would walk to the guy to her room and after two hours he would leave the house. So happy that he would forget to ask for the money. Back then I had no idea what r... Continue»
I'd never held with all that conspiracy theory; sure I'd watched star trek, sure I could do the Vulcan sign, and if Captain kirk pyjamas make me a geek, then I'm a geek. But I'd never really believed it was true; all the flying saucer and alien a*****ion brigade, screwballs and fruitcakes..... or that's what I thought, but not now, not after what happened last night, not anymore, now I'm a believer b*****rs and s****rs. Because last night my girlfriend fucked and an alien, and I think I may have sucked its cock.
Picture the scene if you will; it's an overcast muggy, sweaty night at our loca... Continue»
Over a span of a couple of years, Dave had a few more flings and he came to the realization that, for the most part, pussy is all the same. It really comes down to one’s presentation and enthusiasm. His wife, Cindi, was a good woman. With a weight loss plan and some weekly exercise, she got thin, fit and feeling pretty good about herself. She really became the most beautiful mother of 3 you could ever have laid eyes on. Dave was feeling guilty for some of the things he had done and he hoped to live a better life. He got the f****y going to a small church in town. That church had an ... Continue»
Short of walking in on your wife or girlfriend doing unspeakable things with another dude, there's no foolproof way to know if she's cheating on you. But there are clues — thing is, you probably don't notice any of them.
But we know two guys who do — in fact, it's their job. Between them, Christopher Paoletti, president of Infidelity Investigations LLC, and Tony DeLorenzo, co-author of The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse, they have about 45 years of experience hunting down cheaters. So we asked them to tell us what sort of behavior is a tip of that a woman might be cheating on you.
Standing in the doorway to my apartment with Becs, I think back to meeting her for the first time. I'd been playing pool with Brian, my at-the-time and current roommate, in our dorm's community room, which looked like a huge living room furnished with the same aqua blue tables and chairs we had in our rooms, a flat screen TV, couches everywhere, and a ratty old pool table. I'd gotten a game in pretty much every day that year, our freshman year, and was getting to be okay. Becs, or Rebecca as she called herself then, came by with some girl she was rushing with, I forget her name, and started ta... Continue»
I came home from school today to find the house empty, where was mum, I went to the back door and saw her in the garden. sunbathing, I stepped out towards her and noticed she was naked so I stopped. As I gazed at her I saw she was lying on her back on the lawn with her legs spread wide and held in the air, her hand reached between her legs and was moving up and down. Then I heard her talking to herself. " Fuck me, Fuck me, fuck me johnny. thats it fuck my ass, fuck your mummy." I stepped forward and spoke, "mummy" "yes Johnny" your a bit noisy today remember the n... Continue»
Well Came home from work early the other day and caught my bitch cheating for the second time.. And this time with her Uncle.. No shit well he was married to her aunt at one time no bl**d there but still nasty as fuck if you ask me.. But thru it all I kept a level head cause we have a 1yr girl together...and Was not about to ruin me being in her life because her mother is a stupid whore.. My first thought was to snap and kill them to be honest.. But That would serve no purpose.. I instead did the right thing and was very polite and killed them with kindness.. They did me a favoe if tyou ask me... Continue»
I went to see my male physiologist to talk about the wet dream I were having. Here, how I had explained the dream: 'I was playing a role as a sexy housewife to my husband, wearing nothing underneath my bathrobe. I’ve just finish taking a hot bubble bath, my pussy was still soaking and wet, and, my husband is lying on the bed watching TV with his dick stand out of his underpants. I took off my bathrobe, walk over to my husband, begin to suck on his hard rock dick, I suck his dick like a lollipop; I can feel his dickhead going toward my deep throat. Slurping, and licking on his dick nice and fas... Continue»
i was born in new jersey, grown up in new jersey and never ever ever left new jersey. why you ask. don't drive and no one drive me. trenton is where i am and will be always. at 67 old i want go to atlantic city. my landlord say's dudley, you want to go for ride to casinos and i want. so it happened. he drive and i so happy and tell him i got no money. he know because he get my disability check for rent. he say dudley, no worry, i help you but you have to pay back. i say i no want gamble, i want pussy. after long drive in middle i got go pp. we stop and i go pee. then i hungry and want burger a... Continue»