Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

Beer VS. Pussy

Introduction: As always your comments, ratings, and jokes are greatly appreciated

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy,... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Our First Anal

We were mostly curious people when it came to sex and we were pretty open about our desires and fantasies and today as we cuddled together on the sofa in front of the TV the subject of anal sex came up. I'm not sure why but it came into the conversation.

It was something that neither of had tried, maybe it was fear or caution. "What do you think of anal sex?" I asked.
You look up at me, quizzically, "Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering if you've ever tried it?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.
You give it some thought for a moment before answering. "I don't know" you say "Doesn't... Continue»
Posted by somedude2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Three's not always a crowd

Miguel and René- Three's not always a crowd.

I didn't want to go to the pub with Miguel. It was about 2 weeks after Easter break and I wanted to write some letters to my parents to soften the hard feelings about going to Miguel's f****y's home for the holiday rather than to New York and tell them about my holiday.

"But it's Portugal in the finals" he crooned, coming close to stand between my legs where I sat at the dining table with my sketchbook and journal out. I was flipping through postcards and printed photos of Miguel's f****y and estate that I wanted to include in my letters. "Qu... Continue»
Posted by WonderWoman22 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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my endless night of pleasure

it all started when me and my bf at the time was sat in the living room it had been a pretty boring day we were just having a couple of drinks as we did on most occasions and i was getting a little horny so i looked at my bf and said i was going to put a dvd on so i walked ova to my bag and pulled out a porn dvd and wen he realised what i had put on u saw a smile come right across his face he looked pleased so we started to watch it and continue our drinking by the end of it we had started to kiss and caress each other just on top of our clothes we started to get in to the moment and he slowly... Continue»
Posted by gothicprincess1988 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sex tutoring mother and daughter





After my PG I joined a nationalised bank in Chennai. I was new to this place and people refused to give rooms to outsiders without proper introduction. I roamed around an finally got one room in a dingy locality with bathroom facility Somehow I wanted to stay and I thought I can change the room later to a convenient location.

My neighbour an elderly man working in a private firm, once asked me whether I am willing to take tuition for a college going girl for mat
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Back Story Of Mandy From The Bar

Mandy was a really strange one.

I ran into her at the bar pretty early on in my bartending days... She was in college, and would come to the bar most Tuesdays with some friends for what ever the Tuesday night special was.

Anyway, I noticed she was the shy one in the group, always avoiding the d***ken frat boys that wandered from table to table trying to get their dicks wet. One night she and her two friends sat at the bar. I saw it as my chance to bone a "nice Jewish girl" and started to talk with her. I don't really remember that much about it, or her, other then it took a few more v... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 8 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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home but not alone

This morning when waking up, as always, i go straight to the toilets, scratching carelessly my f****y jewels. I just forgot for a second that my cousine was at home since yesterday evening. She's there standing in the corridor staring at me. Such an uncomfortable feeling grows in me...

Now she's enjoying her breakfast, i go to the bathroom, washing myself and here comes my morning boner without warning, i start wanking, lightly, and once again i just forgot i'm not alone, and the door is not locked and there she's entering the bathroom, hopefully i was not moaning her name...

Now she'... Continue»
Posted by tibubusiko 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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First Flight

This piece of writing is an extract from my novel "Toggenburg" It's not a sex story as such but I post it here for a dear friend who I learned to my surprise had never flown on an aeroplane! Since this chapter was about a character's first flight on an aircraft i decided to post this for a little fun and to whet the appetite of my beloved shewolf for her first journey into the realms above.


The following day dawned bright and sunny although there were still clouds about clinging to the sides of the mountains. Sarah was up early; jumping excitedly out of the bed she shared with Daniela at ... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Jake's Magic Remote Part XIX - Tempered in Fi

Carol held her coffee as though it was the elixir of life. It very well looked like it was, too; in the cafe’s more direct light, Jake could make out dark circles under her eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Are you alright?” Jake asked. “You look…”
“...like hell,” Petra offered.
Carol gave that crooked smile again. Something about it was really familiar. “I’ll be fine. It’s just… really exhausting getting here.”
Jake shook his head. “I don’t get it. Getting here? From where? And why?”
Carol chuckled. “You know, my father told me you’d ask that. He said you’d be… ‘methodically and relen... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 1 month ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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One freaky day

I had to post this story and please believe this story is so true. I was about 25 and i had this 19 year old girl friend. It was xmas eve and I wanted her to come stay at my place so i went out to her house on the train to get her. As we waited for the train going back to my house "shell" is what im calling her(not her real name)decided she needed something in her mouth. So we went inside a shelter waiting area and she sat on the bench and i stood to watch out for others that my decide to stand inside. She unbuckled my pants like she saw flames in my pants and wasted no time getting my dick in... Continue»
Posted by addictedtooralsex 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The doctor is in

It starts with you going to the doctors to check your prostate. I work as the doctor, wearing a short white dress and under it my red bra and nickers. As I lean over you can see the top of my boobs. I shake your hand and asks you to take of your clothes and bend over.

You feel how I put some cold lubricate on your ass and some runs down on your balls. Then you feel how I separate your cheeks and puts in first one then a second finger inside you not wearing any glove. You moan a bit and I lean over you and asks if you like it. You nodd. I then find the prostate and start pressing-milking it... Continue»
Posted by kitten72 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Our Relation

[user]nana414[/user]
our relation

Hello to all ISS readers! I am Rahul from Nagpur (Maharashtra). My English is week, so here I just tried to explain the incident happened with me. This story happened before 1yr when I was 25 yr old. Since c***dhood, I am so shy type boy so I always got hard to find any girl-friend. After completing my education I got job in Mumbai with good salary. It was now a six month of my job and I missing my dear mom so much. So I requested my boss to grant me a leave. He accepted and I moved to my native place Vardha (Maharashtr... Continue»
Posted by nana414 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My second one.. This was with my social..mam

I already shared with u guys my expirience with my science..mam and this s with my social mam.. I liked her..very much...
She s in her 40s .married but din have a c***d :( :)... but truth s that she s dam sexy...i always daydream at her..and result is fail in my exams.. So i get a chance to attend her remedials..around 10 students accompany me in her..class.. Oh i forget to say her character ,she s very strict ..she use to debate for all the topic.. So i know if i could get her in a sexy argument then i can win her.. .. I was waitin for a rite day..i said all my friends that lets bunk the re... Continue»
Posted by Michaelzoron 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The White Witch


While getting a long weekend off from college, I was invited to a party by my friend, Sam, at his girlfriends' house. I was told to bring somebody, but having no one to bring, I brought beer instead.

Sam had just started to date this girl, Lisa, and she was a party a****l. Every weekend it was party time at Lisa's. I arrived a little early since I was bringing the refreshment, and bumped into a tall, olive completed, long black haired, curvy girl who was sporting a cast that ran up to the top of her thigh. She was beautiful. I mean beautiful like, 'Catharine Zeta Jones' with nice boobs, ... Continue»
Posted by ddawg940 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Unique Tattooing

(Ann gets inked in an intimate area)

"Unique tattooing, can I help you?" David answered the ringing phone. "Hi David, this is Ann. Do you have any time to squeeze me in today?" she asked, cheerfully.

A huge smile flashed across David's already darkly handsome face when he heard her voice. Ann.... Her golden hair, long legs and chubby body just made his senses soar, not to mention his heart race every time she smiled at him. She had a smile that would melt the polar ice caps, and bring blinding light to darkened catacombs. He loved tattooing her as well, she never complained of the pain a... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Story Circle: Catching Someone Else

I posted about being caught "in the act" a while back and got some great stories but some people were asking about catching other people while doing the deed. I have also done this and would love to share stories about how you have caught someone else masturbating. My first story is one that I shared a while back but removed because it had been posted for a long time and I wanted to start the blog section fresh but its a good story and deserves to be here. It happened when I was in high school.
I was dating a girl named Sarah who lived just out of town and the trips out there were costing a s... Continue»
Posted by robyngoodfello 1 month ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Road Trip

We had just left Savannah, Georgia, and were heading back north to Ft. Bragg, N.C. We were in my 68 Convertible Corvette, and Anya was always a horny b---h, when I started to play with her pussy, and she reached over and pulled my shorts down to my feet, and started to suck me. I was passing a panel van, when I looked over and saw this young driver looking at us and grinning, and giving me the thumbs up. I pulled her mini-skirt up around her waist, exposing her beautiful ass in a thong. Next thing I knew there were 2 more heads looking out the same window, with sh-t eating grins on their faces... Continue»
Posted by vince68 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Working Holiday

Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.

Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.

Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.

Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Posted by happy_wanking 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Being nude short story

I thought I share this story of being nude in not your normal place, anyone a nudist? This is just a little story about a kinky fetishism I came up with about me it maybe a little interesting to you but I just wonder if other people have done anything like this I have been finding out how fun it is to be nude in a strange place to be nude at all. . I have always enjoyed being nude but not in proper places like nudist beaches or camps of any kind so I can't call myself a nudist. Very few times have I been nude with other's in a semi-nonsexual way it's, mostly all been sexual with partners or f... Continue»
Posted by lov2dancecpl 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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جلنار جردلي Jilnar Jardaly in Fuckland

Once upon a time, there was a very sexy and horny little slut called Jilnar Jardaly, who was having lots and lots of fun at her girlfriend's wedding day!

After the beautiful ceremony, the reception was well under way and Jilnar, was having such a lovely day! She'd already fucked nearly all the male guests, as well as several of the female ones. Best of all, she still had a few more hours left in the day to seduce the rest and add them to her enormous and ever-growing list of sexual conquests.

She decided to have a stroll in the beautiful garden to cool her perfectly delectable but achin... Continue»
Posted by JilnarJardalyLustCum 4 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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