Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 65

What to do For an Encore

"Back in med evil days Gay sex was more in the open."

"Behold Hector, someone with their head and arms
caught in the stockade. Let us make haste
and part his ass cheeks forthwith!"

"You go ahead Orville I will go to the village and summon
the brethren so we can have a proper gang bang!"

*********************************************************************

The room was filled with cigarette smoke. But that wasn't a problem for two reasons. One we weren't at work and two I had started smoking again to help me over the estrogen roller co... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 692  |  
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SHE WANTED ALL OF ME IN HER MOUTH...

THIS IS JUST AN ACCOUNT OF THE GREATEST ORAL EXPERIENCE I EVER HAD.. I SHORT-CUT RIGHT TO THE JUICY PART.. BUT I GUARANTEE THIS IS ALL 100% HONESTY..

WHEN SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO 69 WITH MY, I LAY ON MY BACK GETTING MY HEAD COMFORTABLE ON THE PILLOWS... SILENTLY SHE WAVED HERE FINGER @ ME NEGATIVELY & GRABBING MY HAND SHE TUGGED/URGED ME UP & OFF THE BED.. ONCE I WAS UP, SHE LAY DOWN.. ONLY REVERSED (HER FEET TOWARDS THE HEADBOARD, HEAD HANGING FREELY OVER THE EDGE OF THE BED.. GAZING UP @ ME SHE TOLD ME, "NOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE TO MY PUSSY WITH YOUR TONGUE @ THE THE SAME TIME YO... Continue»
Posted by jboi626 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 691  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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The Changing Room - Strange Relationship Version X

Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 692  |  
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I finally bought a pack of Magnums

I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 690  |  
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close call

I got talking to a woman from work, we arranged to meet up for a drink one saturday night. after just one pint we couldnt wait so we went back to my car and drove off to find somewhere quiet. she couldnt wait for me to stop driving and was touching my growing cock. finally found somewhere to park, just a small gravel run off on a b road. we flattened the seats to give us a bit more room and ripped eachothers clothes off! the risk factor made it so much better! within 5 min she had squirted soaking my car seats! after about 20 min a van pulled up really quick, bright lights shining on the car. ... Continue»
Posted by jamie8422 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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The Goddess Of Fertility

The Goddess of Fertility

I used to work with a guy called Melvin. He was a lovely, happily married man with one
problem in his life. His beloved wife and he were finding it difficult to conceive.

I was I think 25, he'd have been about 40.

They began a programme of IVF at a private BUPA hospital not far from our workplace.

Each of them had to go on there from time to time, for the removal of her eggs, and
of course, for him to provide his "sample" for the procedure.

He used to tell me this in a very matter of fact, jocular fashion. He had to pop out
or take an early lunch a... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 7 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 689  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 689  |  
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Good & Bad Fucking Lessons From Porn Movies

In addition to its ability to cheer you up in times of need, porn has some useful lessons to impart to its viewers. On the other hand, some of these are hideous faux pas that every man should avoid like the plague -- or gonorrhea, for that matter. Then there are the great lessons porn has to offer us all.

Pornography is generally a healthy staple of any man’s life, but beware: Not all porn is helpful to your sex life. Watching porn with your girlfriend can be a great way to learn about each other and have a laugh. Although you'll probably learn most lessons on your own, if you're lucky, yo... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 689  |  
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Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 686  |  
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Doing it Yoga Style

Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.

He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.

Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 5 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 687  |  
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me and my wife

I love my wife and I love her big tits and fat ass and I like to play her big tits and cumming them.But I like to see pics and videos with big tits and big fat asses. I think to myself that every man likes.Sometimes I jack off to pics and videos.My wife does not know about it.I take pictures my wife while sl**ping.She has got very big tits.Someday in the morning I am going to take picture her big tits and I was griping by my hand her big tit and another I was going to take picture suddenli she was wake up and she was be very angri for me.I would like to give my wife's big tits to my profi... Continue»
Posted by jimi12 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 685  |  
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Winter Vacation

(Young couple help their best friend out of depression)

Cathy and Paul had been married for almost five years. They met in college, dated for two years and were married even before they finished school. The first year was tight but when they finally graduated they were both fortunate to land jobs quickly. This helped them to buy a house and move on to living life.

Paul’s friends harassed him about getting married so soon but Cathy is very beautiful and knew he couldn’t let her slip away.

Cathy is 5’5” 126 lbs. and has full firm breasts with nipples that will stick out almost an inch w... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 689  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 684  |  
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No Screwing

A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground... Continue»
Posted by Deecee29 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 684  |  
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Oil be damned

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body.

As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. A sure sign they are either overbooked or busy. With the idea already set in my mind I quickly towel... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 684  |  
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GUY'S PRIZE-WINNING "HANK BURGERS"

GUY’S PRIZE-WINNING “HANK BURGERS”


It wasn’t more than a few days after I met him than I learned that Hank liked to cook. So we sat around in his Arkansas trailer in the hills above Hot Springs, sucking each others’ dicks and watching Food Network.

On a Saturday morning, I was fucking Hank’s ass over the sofa in his trailer, and what comes on over his satellite TV but fucking Rachel Ray! Man, does she have cock-sucking lips- all glossed up and everything. For a minute, Hank and I stopped banging just to look at her. We laughed at each other, both of us experienced enough to recognize a... Continue»
Posted by cigardad4dad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 684  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 684  |  
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Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 684  |  
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