Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 64
You wanna do what ?!!
I want you to lay down on your stomach. I'm gonna rub this vial of baby oil on your ass cheeks and then I'm going to rub my dick in the crack of your ass until I cum. Preferably, I'd like to rub said cum all over your ass cheeks with my dick.
Man, you crazy ... Crazy as fuck.
But I got money.
I pulled a loose wad of cash from my pocket and gestured towards the prostitute. She giggled like an old hag and reached for the money.
you sure that's all you wanna do right ? I mean you aint gonna slip inot the booty hole or nothin and cla... Continue»
Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.
Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.
And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.
"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as s... Continue»
In case you are wondering, this is a James Bond gay spoof.
Riding in a personal e****t vehicle and in the back, I felt nice and cozy in my suit and white tie. I looked down as I sat in the large seat and could feel a nice poking in my black trousers. A nice tent rising up to meet me as I got comfy in my dress slacks. Damn it felt so good to be horny!
The portable screen in front of me shut on and a white haired woman named B appeared. I almost closed my legs at the surprise. I was never used to that woman showing up unexpectedly.
"That's my name."
"Enough of your je... Continue»
My x wife and I had been wanting to explore our sexual boundries after our encounter with her friend camille! I said I tell you what, since camille was here last week I will call wess and we can both fuck your pussy tonite you know what I want daddy? I said what baby? she said well you know you are his idol and he will do anything you ask him to rt?I said I guess she said I want you to fuck his mouth and then fuck his ass while he fucks me,I said put on ur school girl skirt and top and get ready for us! She said I'm gonna turn on the cameras in here yes I said do that I told her when he gets h... Continue»
A little background: Eddie, a friend of mine, and I take alternate shifts at a security office. The office is usually quiet, we just have to be there, be responsible, watch the monitors, that sort of thing. At night no one ever visits.
Well, no one except Eddie's wife Susie. She's half-Chinese, very attractive, very outgoing, and with a mouth and attitude like a Marine on shore leave! She'd had quite an upbringing in this Navy town and was quite the handful for her Chinese father, a first-generation immigrant, and her American redneck mother! (Those two are another whole story, but ne... Continue»
[bMy name is kumar (name changed) and i was 16 years old i was studying diploma in B’lore. When i was failed in 5 subjects my mom send to tuition in my near home.my tuition teacher name is pooja and she is studying in engg final year and her mom name is sridevi with a big whitish boobs big ass white navel.let me describe the story
One day when my grand father died my f****y has gone to my village due to my exams i was in tuition teacher’s home. By that her husban... Continue»
Finally, we had our own car back and it was just in time too. We had already planned our vacation and even rented our room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee starting the following night. I lay in bed next to my wife as she was reading. She had a confused look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This sounds fake.” She replied, pointing at a page in the book. “But, I don’t know cars.” I rolled to face her.
“What sounds fake?”
She began to read to me from the book, which turned out to be a compilation of letters from the Penthouse Forum. It had been left at our house in Minnesota by one or the other ... Continue»
On the Friday of Faye's third week of absence from the lab, our boss sent me round to check on her. There's only so long you can play the "bit of a bug" card before it becomes taking the piss.
When I rang her bell and waited, I didn't think she was going to answer. It even crossed my mind that she might have bagged a sneaky last-minute flight to somewhere decidedly warmer than dreary old Scotland and had been phoning in her "still not better, I'm afraids" from a poolside somewhere gloriously hot. If I hadn't already been pissed off at her for making me cover her workload, that thought pushe... Continue»
I'm feeling pretty good today. An old friend of mine stopped by last night and we slept together. Susan is a gorgeous 38 year old redhead with a luscious body and a pair of really big breasts. When she gets excited, which is pretty much all the time, her nipples swell hugely. I swear that they become an inch long and they're very thick too. I just love to suck on them. Her clitoris swells hugely too and it is heaven to suck it into your mouth.
Susan and I didn't get to bed (sl**p) until pretty early this morning because we were in this 69 for two or three hours last night. I... Continue»
The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.
I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»
So back to this evening, we drove off to the hotel, Julia and I marched through reception again, while my friend booked us in and got the key, same room, as we went to the room a door opened in front of us and the black waiter came out carrying his tunic, he smiled and walked past us back to the reception, “is that?” Julia asked, “yes, he seems popular all of a sudden” I said smiling at her, we got to the room and I threw myself onto the couch, kicking off my shoes as I chuckled at the recollection of what had happened,
Gerald came into the lounge from the bathroom where he ... Continue»
My senior year of high school was filled with college apps, schoolwork, and spending most of my time hanging out with my friends, especially since we all would be going our separate ways when we went off on our separate ways to college. One day during lunch, my best friend Anthony invited all of us to the annual Halloween party his parents threw. The previous two years, I had been busy so I was often unable to go. However, this year I really wanted to go and get a chance to spend time with Anthony and my other friends. Plus, the good thing was I didn't have to dress up or look stupid or a... Continue»
Men always wonder what woman want. Well I can tell you what this woman wants. It's three simple things....
1.Being told they are beautiful even if in their eyes they don't see it...someday they might. Even if she insists she's not she is just trying to take away years of hearing negative things and doesn't know how to take the good complaiment.
2. They like the know they needed and in return know they are appreciated and not just a warm piece of meat next to you at night or middle of day.
3. Every once in a while woman like for men to do something out of their comfort zone. Send her f... Continue»
This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.
These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
29, Single white male seeks similar age female with good looks and vibrant personality. I’m getting tired of writing that on internet dating sites. I started this journal to release my inner thoughts on paper but so far I've only confirmed my sexual inadequacies and personal hang ups. I’m creeping ever closer to 30 and I’m yet to find ’The one’ I've had 3 relationships in the past 10 years and had sex about as many times. I’m beginning to realise life isn't like the movies.
I've read plenty of erotic stories on the internet and seen even more Porn films. I should be an expert at this stuff... Continue»
__BASICS / MISCELLANEOUS
Pervert / m*****or.
Squatting, as in taking a shit.
Field shit, squatting position.
Take a leak (standing).
Take a pee.
Cross pissing; two guys go to the bathroom together.
Take a piss / Take a whiz.
Low class / V... Continue»
Before starting the story, let me introduce my f****y and I am Anand, 21 years and doing my MBA from a reputed college in Delhi and also helping my Mom in her business. My Mom Vibha is 42 now her Fig is 36 30 38. She is fair in colour and 5 feet 4 inches in height. My Father Ashok Jaiswal died in 2008 due to high Diabetes and he left his business for us
And a good amount of money but his death was a shock for us and also my mom was not capable of handling business at that time. So after his death we faced lot of troubles and during this time and I came very close to my Mom and there were t... Continue»
Trevor opened his eyes as the first rays of the Morning sun streamed through the open blinds.
"Did that really happen?" he asked himself. A quick glance at the bed next to him revealed Brad's lady friend Mandy, nude lying facedown in the bed. Trevor placed his hand on the small of her back and as he felt the warmth of her soft skin the events of the previous night came flooding back.
He noted that she couldn't have been less interested in him, and that it wasn't until he removed his glasses and looked at her with his naked eyes that she became sexually aroused. Perhaps the Crystallized... Continue»
I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke