Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

Russian Shemales 3: The Revenge

I am asking the translator what that means: The Revenge. There is no revenge in my story! And she says it is a kind of joke. Like the Electric Boogaloo. I do not understand why that is funny, but she is telling me to trust her, and continue with my story.

When we grew awake in the morning, Svetlana wanted more sexy sexy time, but I said to not. Because Mr. Aronoff would be there soon to pick us up for the bus ride back to home. Svetlana, who looked more like Serge in the morning, said quietly, he did not want to go back home. I pushed him into the shower to wash off the cosmetics fro... Continue»
Posted by TransContinental 6 months ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 776  |  
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Grinding my teeth to a Sex technique

When I was a c***d I was told more than one time to stop grinding my teeth. One day,

while I lay in bed as a boy, grinding my teeth thoughtlessly! I loved the way it made my teeth just vibrate, and the shaking

that went through my gums, but then that scrilling voice came, from my parents room," Stop Grinding your god-dam- teeth, or

pitch a tent in the yard, and sl**p in it, I am trying to sl**p!" I had been yelled at for the last time over this kind creepy

hobby of mine! So, I started re channeling the energy to nibbling the end of my... Continue»
Posted by lotsoflots 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore  |  Views: 775  |  
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Home coming

Zak skillfully maneuvered the big Lincoln through a maze of traffic and on to the off ramp of the expressway! As he slid into local traffic he adjusted the radio for some easy listening and thought to himself, "Almost home, and boy am I tired and hungry, and what a day, non stop from eight until six, I hope Katie has something good ready for supper!!!" He thought about Katie and how lucky he had been to meet someone so beautiful and smart at the same time, and how after three years of marriage just the mere sight of her naked body nearly drove him insane with lust!!! Finally he turned onto Car... Continue»
Posted by snake_500011 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 773  |  
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Dear Mum

Dear Mum,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sl**ping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone withou... Continue»
Posted by seedsurf 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 771  |  
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how i lost my v

i was a bit young and for legal reasons im not telling you my age when i lost my virginaty but i will tell you this, NEVER FUCK A GIRL THAT HAS A STUPID s****r. it was a wednesday and i was walking to my girlfriends house to do.. you know, we enter the house to find only her cat and some beer bottes by her stairs, we disposed the beer bottles and went to her bed room, i startid to kiss her and she pulled my top of, i started to toach her breasts and get more and more sexual towards her, she pulled my trousers down leaving my pants and socks,then she took her top of and skirt, i un-hooked her b... Continue»
Posted by mrhuggibearzz 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 770  |  
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Xmas Pussy Party

Attended a friends Xmas party and boy did it turn into strip poker. Party lasted until 4am. 8 females and 10 guys. Everybody got fucked, pussy ate and dicks sucked. I mean dicks were getting sucked left and right. I saw one girl with dick up her assz that dick was huge. It was good clean fun. I got my pussy ate and ass hole licked. Then some much needed dick from my date. He was so excited. He had never been to such a party were one minute you was dancing and partying then next getting some ass. I took him in the a room with another female had her suck his dick some more. Then he stuck it in m... Continue»
Posted by Phatpussy714 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 770  |  
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The Future Of Sex

It's the thirty first century and I'm a cop who just completed an assignment. Me and my parner busted some d**g kingpin importing d**gs from another planet making a killing. The d**g was similar to cocaine but only stronger and the both of us came and closed up shop permanently. Afterwards I went straight home and took a long warm shower. I stood there and let the water come crashing down my body feeling all the tension float away after a long day of catching the bad guys and kicking ass. ... Continue»
Posted by Wordman 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 769  |  
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Bare Beach By Bicycle

For foxy female friends - by Petra, granddod of Poet Pete, who hosts me here

I invite her for a trip to the beach by bicycle. I make sure she takes the racing bike up front.
I guide her through the greenery to the dunes through a natural park to the almost deserted beach.
I love to look at her legs and ass move up and down while she wheels just two meters ahead of me.
I wonder whether I should have asked her not to wear anything underneath that sexy short skirt?

I will get her wet when we bake in the sun on the warm sand almost out of view for shore walkers.
I already know how... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 769  |  
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sun tan

so your laying down on the beach, letting the sun burn your back you silly girl
suddenly you feel the cold drip of lotion on your back , quickly followed by warm hands massaging into your shoulders and down your back
you hear a voice saying"don"t look round", you decide not to as the rubbing feels so good and you needed lotion on your back anyway
the hands move slowly up and down your back, the fingers every now and then brushing against your breasts as you lay on your front, the hands slowly move lower on your back until they reach the top of your bum,
they slide beneath yo... Continue»
Posted by naughty66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 765  |  
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Seaman Sam

Hi I’m Sam. Mid 30’s, divorced, six feet tall, short black hair, great legs (if I say so!) and an athletic body, toned through my exercise routines and my sailing. And seven inches of uncut horny cock when engorged!

You see I own a small 4 berth boat and as an income I take people on cruises around the rivers and ports of the south of France. It’s not a big boat, but cosy enough. I go where they want and do what they want. We can stop at ports or beaches, small islands or the mainland. Offshore or on a river.

Mainly the people are of a certain age, shall we say. And the views on the sun ... Continue»
Posted by PurplePal 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 767  |  
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'little s*s' chapter 7

He walked up right as we did. He eyed me up and down like he wanted to eat me. He asked Jason ‘is this going to ruin our friendship. Are you going to treat me like shit because I fucked your girl?’ Jason was honest. He said ‘I love her more than you can ever imagine. But I fucked up so bad she deserves a damn good fuck and total revenge.’ This boy grew up with us. He was in my sixth grade class.

Jason busted out with ‘I popped lauren’s cherry and I was never going to tell her about it. My b*****r ratted me out. You know lauren has treated her like shit even though they were best fucking fri... Continue»
Posted by halinaplays 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 764  |  
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The masseuse wore pigtails and short summer skirt

I had just finished my work out in the crummy gym near my job and I was feeling sore.I was all sweaty too,even though I had taken a shower.It was upstairs from an even crummier massage parlour,where it was well known that "extras" were available.Well, I had never paid for sexual services in my life,and I wasn't starting now.
But as I walked past the door I could see there was a new girl on the desk.And fuck she was hot.She was Chinese,which rarely did anything for me,but this girl was H.O.T.
She was wearing a school girls uniform,even though she looked about 21.but she had the top 3 or 4 but... Continue»
Posted by jackelaine 5 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 764  |  
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Wet Works

"You almost done Lilly?"

"Almost."

I was anxious for the weekend, but it wasn't because I had something to do. It was simply because I don't think people could understand how much pressure could be put on a person from a small print company in the middle of the city. We had a lot of high brow clientele and when lawyers want their paperwork they want it yesterday.

Snow had fallen and the ground was iced over in patches that day as I stood at the back door waiting for her to leave. I could feel the cold from outside through the wall. I took a look back at Lilly through the open door fro... Continue»
Posted by RichardSchwarz69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 765  |  
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First Blow Slightly coincidental.

First Blow
Slightly coincidental.
A little bit of background information.
We had come in the club for a few years. It was a place where you could come, sit and relax, be with your partner, or be with other people. Usually there was access for all, all adults that is, but they had try to make one evening a month just for couples, male/female, sunday night.


Angel, my wife, was dressed in a shiny black dress with a discreet red white pattern.
Under she had black corset, black stockings, garter Belt and lace panties and short stiletto boots.

We arrived at the club in the belief that i... Continue»
Posted by joemidnight53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 763  |  
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Sex With Tuition Teacher’s Sexy Mom



[bMy name is kumar (name changed) and i was 16 years old i was studying diploma in B’lore. When i was failed in 5 subjects my mom send to tuition in my near home.my tuition teacher name is pooja and she is studying in engg final year and her mom name is sridevi with a big whitish boobs big ass white navel.let me describe the story

One day when my grand father died my f****y has gone to my village due to my exams i was in tuition teacher’s home. By that her husban... Continue»
Posted by bava12 11 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 762  |  
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Aman fucking maid Fatima




Due to some function my relatives had to visit the native place for two weeks. I didn't joined them coz of my upcoming semester exams....& they left at next morning...I was little happy as I got full freedom to freakout with my friends & to do party......!!! but at same time was unhappy when my relatives told me about fatima that she would disturb my privacy with her routine works.....!!

But managed my mind with that thought. Next morning I was sl**ping till late when she knocked my door......i was still in sl**p....walked in my boxers & opened the door & again felt on bed for sl**p. ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 761  |  
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three phases

A f****y is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. ... Continue»
Posted by dashingboy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 760  |  
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[b]The Sticky Dance Floor[/b]

Damn, I hated the noise. No matter where you went, it was the same. Somehow, the deejays around the world must have all gone to the same identical music store. There, they learned to turn the volume up until it hurt and loudspeakers only produced distortion.

Even here at the bar, it was near impossible to hear the barmaid. She showed me four fingers, meaning four dollars for my beer. I wondered what sign she would make for five dollars and seventy-five cents? She was a beautiful woman with reddish hair and a little bit shorter than me. Maybe five foot six. Like most barmaids, she was dresse... Continue»
Posted by vstein 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 761  |  
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The Hot Affair

Tossing and turning on the bed; she found that sl**p would not come to her, as her mind was full of vivid memories of the days fun they had just enjoyed. A smile came across her face as she remembered each detail of their Anniversary dinner. Choosing a more private affair than most they had decided to go to the local park with a blanket. Once there she realised there was no food. Arching an eyebrow questioning at him he had laughed, pulled her down onto the blanket, lifted her skirt and started to lick and suck her clit. Every so often lifting his head to insert a finger into her wet pulsin... Continue»
Posted by craigus44 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 757  |  
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Fully Dressed

Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????

I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.

One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 755  |  
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