Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Daily Commute

This is my first story and not much of a writer but had an interesting incident this morning so I thought I'd share with you all.

I commute daily from home to work by train like most people living in Japan.
As you all may know, the trains are crammed during rush hour and your touching someone's back or shoulder.

It's like being in a can of sardines.

Anyway, so I get on the train this morning and like always it is crammed.

It is filled with sweaty men and I have been living in Japan for about 6 years now but still can't get used to having a sweaty guys back rubbing against my back.... Continue»
Posted by drpepper23 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Temp Job (You'll like it...it's the best

Temp job as limo driver has definite benefits...a celebrity story...

Temp Job (You'll like it...it's the best)

I have a confession to make. They say confession is good for the soul, so here I am. Now that I am this hot sex fantasy writer on this sex fantasy website, people have been expecting me to keep coming up with hot stories. But the truth of the matter is, my sex life has not really been all that exciting. If I had to write the Kama Sutra it would only be one page. In 48 years on the planet, I really have not had that many exciting sexual experiences. I already told y... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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Disgraceful soft sex with my cousin

This is not exaggeration, this is based on my story of 1993. I feel
ashamed, cause she my cousin s****r. I shouldn't have done this to
her. I am from South Tamil Nadu.
It was in my semester vacation of my first year, and she was studying
Ninth Std. It all started from this point, in the night before my
s****r's marriage, she looked as if an angel. She is a medium
complexion, but...but really beautiful mean it. She was wearing silk
blow and the bottom (pattu pavadai). I was instructed to look after
the k**s who were playing on the Marriage's hall terrace. I saw my
cousin s****r playing... Continue»
Posted by Zz611 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Top 10 porn myths.

10 - High Heels.
Women wear high heels to bed.

9 - Going Down
When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

8 - Ugly Middle-Aged Men
Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

7 - Suck It
When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

6 - Busted
When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

5 - Oh Yeah
Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

4 - Enjoyable Sexual Practice
A common and enjoyable sexual practice ... Continue»
Posted by diriculous 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I bet he won't do this again







lilbigal 2 minutes ago.

Delete

She is a 22 years old single, bisexual female

I was at this club the other night and I noticed this guy staring at me. He was very cute but with another girl. Everytime she wasn't looking at him he would look over at me and give me the lets fuck look. I was sitting at a table where he could see me spreading and then closing my legs wide for him. I love teasing guys and girls. When his gf got up to go do something he looked over and I spread my legs and ran my middle finger up and down a few times on my blue jeaned slit, and then licked my f... Continue»
Posted by lilbigal 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Getting Caught

I was chatting with a fellow xhamster member, sharing experiences, and when I told about this one, she said I had to post it for everyone to read. Hope you like it as much as she did!

I met this guy on a gay site, and we chatted for a bit before setting up a meeting at his place. We both had a panty fetish and he told me he loved to sniff his 19yr old duaghter's and his wife's, and said it would be hot to watch me sniff them as he blew me. I agreed and we met the next day. His wife was at work, and his daughter, who was home for the summer from college, was meetining friends at t... Continue»
Posted by panteeluvr 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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you can learn a lot from a tutor

It was my third year of university, in the field of immunology, and i was sitting in my tutorial. It was my only class for the friday, so i was relatively awake.the course itself wasnt overly difficult, it was merely a lot to remember. I was sitting in my tutorial, looking at my fellow classmates, nothing over the top, just average people, more guys than anything. there was however a rather cute asian girl sitting to my left. with long flowing black hair, framing a slightly tanned face. her tits were small, as most asian girls are, her legs however were heaven, long, slender and completely hai... Continue»
Posted by jpvk123 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Slutty Sarah and the dirty tramp (hobo)

Well Chris, Sarah’s new boyfriend, did you ask her about that tramp she exposed herself to, that I mentioned in the last episode of Sarah, your slutty new girlfriend? No? Or maybe she just went quiet and denied it ever happened. Well, it certainly did. And here’s what she did.


Sarah didn’t mention again her idea of exposing herself to a dirty tramp (hobo, for you American guys), for quite some weeks. But I thought it might still be on her mind. And it was. One early Friday evening in the summer, Sarah suddenly said ‘You know that tramp thing we mentioned, I want to do it, right now... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Carrots

Carrots
by jjcole©

A lost art, whittling. Passed on from father to son, though in my f****y it had skipped a generation. I learned it from my grandfather. My father thought of it as a waste of time. Granddad taught me to use it as a thinking tool.

I had been doing this it seemed all my life. I would go to the backyard with a block of soft wood and my sharpened pocketknife and work problems through my head. Sometimes I would just daydream. The thinking and daydreams would end when the block of wood had become a discernible object. Over the years I had become good enough that some of my w... Continue»
Posted by colejj 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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THE ITALIAN.....

When reading this it must be read with a ITALIAN ACCENT....



One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.
I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two
pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no
understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on
plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma
ma b*tch.
Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana
tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!
Lat... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Two’s Company

She lies on her belly. Her legs are long, like two-thirds the length of the couch. Jesus, what legs. They start perfectly at her white anklets and then rise and rise and just artfullyassemble themselves into a perfectfucking ass. She has the kind of ass that’s bulbous without being a bulb. It’s a half-an-apple ass, a narrow-but-squeezable, humpty-buttock, soft and girly ass. She crosses her ankles and bends her knees so her feet drop almost down to the scallop, the cut-off in the faded frazzle-legged denim that rides up higher than her panty lines….

“Gloria,” I sa... Continue»
Posted by Julian_LoveYou 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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THE WIVES SWITCH CLUB 2

THE WIVES SWITCH CLUB
PART 2

As tom and I drove home we didn’t say too much to each other it was strange as if we both felt guilty about what we had just done, as we arrived home Tom said do you want to talk about it “No not yet lets go to bed “ I needed Toms cock in me I could still feel James cum and I wanted to imagine Tom was James as he fucked me,
After sex I asked him how it had gone with Bee and he started to tell me in great detail I started to rub his cock while he told me what they had done together and to be honest I wasn’t really Listening I just wanted his cock hard again s... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The maid of the mannor

Ann worked as a scullery maid; all of her memories involve working in kitchens, cleaning pots, scrubbing floors and preparing a****ls, her mother had become ill and was bed ridden. Ann stood scrubbing the pots from Lord Thompson’s dinner; she heard his deep voice as he spoke to the doctor watching over Ann’s mother. Ann began to hear them both walking down the stairs and the front door open and close as the doctor left, she was deeply worried about her mother and started to scrub the post as hard as she could to take her mind off it. Ann scrubbed harder but her elbow smacked into the clean po... Continue»
Posted by Red555 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Becoming my bosses

My name is jess I'm a account ex. at a good frim I have been here about 5yrs. at 28 yrs. old I would say that being 5'8" and only 108lbs. 34c and not what most people would say stuning I've done pretty good this job a loving hubby and my little 4yr. old son.

So here is how it happen Tony (my boss) and myself were working on an account very hard late nites and long hard days this account could be the begining of something great to the frim so it was a must do sort of thing, after three weeks of this we findly came up with the right campain for the client and it felt great, The frim was... Continue»
Posted by shotguner 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Massage with a Happy Ending.

It’s been a rough couple weeks as being new parents the stress is really getting to us. With no time for fun times and me generally feeling down so getting a break is a rare thing.

Arriving late afternoon tension is high having had a harsh discussion earlier on in the week and just not feeling the love seeing bappy was something that I wasn’t overly excited about, that was until our wee one was babysat by his mammy that evening.

Now for the readers who know us better through our past stories passion is usually big between us because I don’t “diy” and I wait until I’m with him before pl... Continue»
Posted by maaao 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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1night

going out to the bar was something i didnt do often. I usually was a more reserved type of guy .So on this night i dont know what lead me to a strip bar but there i was with a facefull of tittys and ass and throwing back shots of henny when suddenly i was approached by this beatiful woman by the name of red you see this woman was not any ordainary woman this woman knew what she wanted and knew what she liked she was a freak im talking the true def.....of nasty, sheliked objects in her ass she liked to be slapped and called a stank nasty cunt she was really into shit like that and it turned me ... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Dennis The Menace: - Alice, The Mardi Gras Gang-b

Dennis The Menace: - Alice, The Mardi Gras Gang-bang Whore
by Sniper32

At a collage in California, three sorority s****rs were sitting around in
there bedroom talking. "Finals are done, so where are we going to go for
Spring Break this year?" Blondie asked.

"Well there's Tijuana or Cancun" Rita said.

"How about skiing in Aspen, that would be fun, or we could go to Ft.
Lauderdale, but that's a pretty wild place" Alice said shyly.

"We've been to Tijuana dozens of times, Cancun was fun until we drank the
water and all got sick, and Ft. Lauderdale was a blast last year, but ... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Affairs

Introduction: not so sexy


> The 1st Affair
>
> A married man was having an affair
> with his secretary.
> One day they went to her place
> and made love all afternoon.
> Exhausted, they fell asl**p
> and woke up at 8 PM ..
> The man hurriedly dressed
> and told his lover to take his shoes
> outside and rub! them in the grass and dirt.
> He put on his shoes and drove home.
> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
> "I can't lie to you," he replied,
> "I'm having an affair with my secretary.
> We had sex all afternoon."
> She looked down at his shoes and said:
> ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Booty Inspector of the Old West (part 1)

[Tune in tomorrow evening for Part 2 of THE BOOTY INSPECTOR]


Intro:
The man walked into the room with a shotgun raised over his head and shouted "Now, ah'm only goanna repeat myself one Mo' time! I want all you men ta' lay down yous'n weapons and all you Womanfolk to drop down yours'n panties and pull on up dem skirts, because I here am the Booty Inpsector and I've come to inspect yours'n booties!"

And so the rise of Fame and Legend was given to the Old West's first and only "Booty Inspector" who hijacked trains and banks only to inspect womenfolk’s' Booties, at gunpoin... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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