Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

Timestop Day 1

This story is about a guy who finds he has the ability to stop time. If you don't like the concept, don't read it.A few things before it starts. There is next to nothing sexual in Day 1. Day 1 is just an introduction to the character and situation, things that are necessary to make the story work. Day 2 is where the fun stuff comes in.

P.S. I did not write this story, it's just a story I read and think should be shared with all you xHam people. Enjoy! Originally posted I am sure by [user]http://xhamster.com/user/themessenger[/user]

Day 1 - Wednesday

Warren woke up to his alarm going ... Continue»
Posted by PussyViking 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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I Shag, Dump and Slap the Minging Slut!

I’m just on the way round to see the Minger… it’ll be for the last time because once I’ve shagged her gross little body I’m going to dump her… naturally she doesn’t know that. In fact I’ve really been quite nice to her recently… well nice by my standards… built up her hopes that we will be ‘an item’, perhaps get married one day.


Me… married? That’s a fucking laugh… show me a ‘happily’ married man and I’ll show you a fucking loser… and I’ll tell you why he’s a fucking loser… it’s because he’s a liar… a liar mainly to himself. The marriage thing probably starts out alright but after a bit –... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My College TA

Introduction:
Some of this is real, some things added for entertainment. This is my first story so please leave constructive criticism!
It was my second year of college. I was majoring in nursing so we had a pretty strict guideline of classes we had to follow in order to be accepted into the actual nursing program by junior year. While most of my freshman year was spent doing the required breadth courses for the university, I was finally getting out of that stage and now doing the prerequisite courses for the program. To say I was ecstatic was an understatement. I couldn't tell you why, but ... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Sans Panties by lloyalsock

Claire shivered against the cold and snuggled up against her husband while they stood on the front porch waiting for someone to answer the door! "Oh my, it's cold," Claire said with a shudder, "I wish someone would answer the bell!" "I think I hear someone coming now," Frank replied while tugging Claire closer to him, "boy, it's been a long time since we've visited Tom and Marge, about two years I'd guess!!!" "At least," Claire whispered as the door began to swing open, "oh, Frank, I forgot to mention it before we left, but I'm not wearing any panties!!!" "W-what," he stammered to his pregnant... Continue»
Posted by loyalsock 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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BJ At The Movies

I was at the movies with my GF and she just kept talking through the whole thing and it was starting to make me mad, then she started baging for some of the popcorn I had so I did the only thing I could think to do. I pulled out my dich g****d her head and shoved my dick down her throat. She gagged a little but then statred sucking like a pro. It felt great and I could enjoy the movie. When it was time for me to cum I pulled my dick out and came all over the popcorn, here you go bitch have some nice cum corn.... Continue»
Posted by ilovecougars69 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A walk in the park

I promised myself at Midnight on New Years Eve that as I had now hit the big 40 it was time to get a bit fitter and not rely on sex as my only form of exercise ! I had bought myself a new lacy bra in the sales yesterday and decided I would wear it this morning. Its nice but a bit thin and doesn't leave much to the imagination ! Anyway I put a t-hirt on and my nipples were protruding but I thought it would be ok as I was putting a jacket on and it was a nice feeling as they were rubbing against the lace. Jacket, scarf and gloves on I set off for the local park. It was a cold clear morning and ... Continue»
Posted by sexiesam 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Jayashree watching mom fuck

Hi this is Jayashree from Anna university again. Hope you remember my experience with my neighboring boy smy. Well this story I am going to tell what happened between my mother and smy. Well my mother’s name is Geetha and she was 38 at that time.

She is very fair, while I am a bit dark. She is a well developed female with dark curly hair and well shaped body. Her only negative feature was her big front teeth. But she was a sexy lady. One day she sat near our front door where I used to sit and study and from where I can see smy showing his tool to me.

I was a bit tensed that she was si
... Continue»
Posted by swathi3 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Jake's Magic Remote XVI - Favors

Jake had been feeling pretty good about himself lately. He had answered two more “summons” as Danica’s “not-Jake” in the last week, and it was starting to make a marked difference in the girl. She was bolder, more outspoken and confident, and smiled a lot more. It was as if some great burden of stress had been lifted from her. Which made sense, because in a way it was true. Danica liked being brought down to the level of an a****l; in fact, she loved it. She’d told him as much after their last fantasy encounter. She felt like all her fear and shyness got beat out of her, tempering her until sh... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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THANK YOU, APHRODITE----A XENA AND GABRIELLE TALE

Xena awoke abruptly from a deep slumber, momentarily disoriented, but felt a sweet calm settle over her once she saw Gabrielle curled up on the opposite side of smoldering camp fire, stirring slightly but not awakening.
It was the blush of a new day and a pale, fragile light just barely illuminated the sky above. Xena stretched her long limbs and rose. She was not wholly comfortable sl**ping in the nude but her wardrobe was washed the previous afternoon and hung from the lower branches of a nearby tree, still damp. Its cleaning had gone long neglected until Gabrielle, riding down wind, shar... Continue»
Posted by slappywag64 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Monday Morning Shower

The alarm I set to go off each week day at 7am beeps aggravatingly on the other side of the room. Beside me you groan, throwing your covers off your naked body to go and get it. "I got it handsome" I murmur, putting a hand on your chest and pushing you back into bed gently. You don't need much convincing, rubbing groggy eyes and settling back against your pillows. I slip out of bed, already nude from a night of glorious, sweaty sex. Still a bit sore, I stretch, turning away to give you a nice view. You laugh and give a low whistle. Grinning ear to ear I grab the infuriating device and turn it ... Continue»
Posted by experiencedvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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"Times three" a Story of one friend thre

Times three

This story all starts with one of my best friends I started working with! I meet Davey after starting a new job, Davey turned out to be one of my best friends as it happens now the times three part is that I slept with his s****r in law then his daughters mother in law and finally his daughter?

I had been going up to Davey house for the odd party and we would get very d***k and have a great laugh during these parties his s****r in law turned up her name was Belinda not the best looking woman in the world but she had a stunning figure and lips that could suck the screw top off... Continue»
Posted by sexgician 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore  |  
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Why you should always check.

True story.

For a while, I was sort of seeing this college girl, we'll call her Ashley. I say "sort of" because we weren't really exclusive, and we didn't really get together for much other than sex and the occasional lunch.

It was great for a while, the first few weeks were amazing. Some of the best blowjobs I'd ever had, and she was always wanting to try new things. She could do some of the most amazing things with her tongue and I wondered where she learned them, but was afraid that she'd come up with some astronomical amount of men she'd slept ... Continue»
Posted by SinSeeker 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Fireman's Carnival

Fireman's Carnival

by Kathy B.



"Mark! I'm over here!" I waved my hands wildly, trying to get my husband's
attention. It was useless though; he couldn't hear me over the noise of the
crowd and he hadn't noticed our booth when he walked past.

"Hey, lady. Can we get some pies here or not?" A sweaty, overweight man
stood beside three sweaty, underweight k**s. Each c***d clutched a dollar bill
in their dirty little fists.

I took a last look at Mark's back, disappearing behind the Ferris Wheel.
Oh, well, he'd keep looking until he found me. I'd get his attention t... Continue»
Posted by tzrlvr 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Bully

In the whole school no student was more feared the Erin Hardy. Rumors aboud of students being beaten up, teachers threatened and confis**ted d**gs and weapons. The crowd Erin ran with were the baddest of the bad, whenever shit went down Erin was there she was the top dog.

Surprised you didn't I?

You didn't read that wrong, Erin Hardy the toughest Bitch at Mckinnley High was a girl.

My dad was in the Air f***e and as such we moved quite a bit. In fact I had not set foot on Natural American soil in Eight years. He was retiring and got a job Flying for Quintus Airlines thanks to my "Un... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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House Hunting Chrissie

CHRISSIE GOES HOUSE HUNTING

When I casually mentioned to one of clients during a session that I was toying with the idea of perhaps buying a house
and renting out my condo he needlessly took the time to remind that he owned one of the largest realty offices in
town. It must a salesman thing, not being able to leave business behind for an hour or two. You're no doubt
thinking to yourself "Hold on there Chrissie, don't forget you're a bit of salesperson yourself. After all your selling
your body to your clients every day." Let me clear something up for you. I've never had to sell my body... Continue»
Posted by chrissieCD 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Golf is Fun

My husband, Ken, and I have been married 15 years. It has always been great, as he is truly my soul mate. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for or with him. About three years ago, we decided to add some extra excitement to our sex life by letting me seduce and have sex with another man. Before I tried it, I made sure that it was ok with Ken. He assured me that it was. I found that Ken really got off on knowing that another man was giving me orgasms and I was doing the same to him. I always shared my experiences with Ken, either by telling him every detail or letting him watch or join in. I r... Continue»
Posted by xhamster1974 5 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The awakening (chapter 1)

The Awakening:
Chapter 1
There are three remarkable things about this story. The first is the awakening of manhood. How a boy, whose age we’ll keep under wraps just in case people with higher moral conscience come banging on my door, became a man.
How human imagination can open floodgates of thoughts and these thoughts culminate into elaborate dreams. The second remarkable thing would be how this imagination has no bounds. How it opens the gates to such immense possibilities without us realizing that sometimes all it takes is just a push!
Before we start with how events of this story unfol... Continue»
Posted by the_speculum 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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SAG - Begegnung der Tittenart

Begegnung der Tittenart:

Als wir mal wieder nachmittags am Fluss entlanglaufen und eventuell Kaffeetrinken gehen wollten, hat sich meine Frau erst mal im Bad feingemacht und sich ihren kurzen weißen Stufenrock angezogen und obenrum entschied sie sich für ein weißes Knöpf-Bustier mit hauchdünnen Trägern ohne BH und sie ließ die obersten Knöpfe geöffnet und um die Hüfte trug sie einen engen schwarzen Gürtel, der ihre Hüften noch mehr zur Geltung brachte. Damit kam sie ein paar Mal zu mir ins Wohnzimmer und fragte mich immer wieder „Schatz geht das so?“. Ich antwortete ehrlich mi... Continue»
Posted by gs4love 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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take that cock daddy #2

So I'm licking the goo out of her snatch and she tells me she wants me to fuck her bisexual. Cousin. I said I will do it but you are fucking him too! She agreed we set a plan in motion to seduce the young man and she said fuck just tell him we want to fuck! As suspected he arrived. Promptly and came inside he was a tall 20 year old with longer brown hair and brown skin he came in and I met him at the door he jumped on my back and I piggy backed him into the bedroom and dropped him on. The bed. I grabbed his shoes and pulled them off sarah was unbuttoning. His pants. And I pulled them off he h... Continue»
Posted by jwmax420 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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just something everyone should know

'Revenge porn' i*****l under new UK law
13 October 2014
From the section Technology
Revenge porn concept imageImage copyrightPA
Image caption
The distribution of images and videos can be reported directly to the police
People who post so-called "revenge porn" pictures and videos on the internet could face two years in jail under a new law.
The new Criminal Justice and Courts Bill will have an amendment dealing specifically with the practice.
"We want those who fall victim to this type of disgusting behaviour to know that we are on their side," said Justice Secretary Chris Grayling.
P... Continue»
Posted by jenni_serves 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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