Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

Going Fishin'

Introduction: A tale with a twist

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go but, what can they do...

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man! How long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The night bef... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 706  |  
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Tranny Sex Therapy

All at once, Maria's limp lady stick transformed itself from lifeless shell into
The Incredable s/he Hulk. I had to keep opening my mouth to keep it all in.
Precum started to pour down my lips and chin onto to my bra. That precum was rapidly replaced by genuine girlie man paste.

I would have been laughing but it was like being
water boarded with seamen. I was drowning in hir cum. Holeee SHIT!

********************************************************************************

I swear I should have been a sex ther****t. It would be my mission to make
sure before some transgen... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 701  |  
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Playing with Amy Dumas (Lita)

Posted by eroll113 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 699  |  
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My True Thing!

My first Blowjob was with 45+ aged man and its was f***eful against my wish. That was first time I touched PENIS and after that incident was feeling so sinful, which made me to watch PORN in my free time and been to xHamster.

After being here got a desire to catch thick white man's penis, so was searching for safe man locally and got one Australian in FaceBook, who use to stay in India working as Network engineer. He dint knew that I was 18 and used to send lots of erected penis snaps to me, and its was really thick white one.

A day... Continue»
Posted by indianbee 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 699  |  
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Frustration Contact. (Short Story) Also seen on L

The queue, waiting for the first lift is large, but my eyes focus happily on the blonde hair of a woman ahead of me, rather than the floor indicator above each lift. I love women like her, slim, mature, maybe even over fifty, dressed in a suit, shiny hair in a bob style, elegant and feminine.

I am going into the same lift as her, just so that I may gaze discretely at her and enjoy her good looks. My head thrills at the possibility that she has a thin blouse and underneath, a Camisole top. Utterly divine!

The right hand lift arrives and a mass of people shuffle sideways to get it, but ... Continue»
Posted by matureworship 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 697  |  
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Mule Balls






An American couple on vacation with some friends in Mexico were
shopping at the market to bring back a few souvenirs to their f****y
and friends. Time passed, and the couple realized that neither of them
was wearing a watch. They noticed this little Mexican man taking a
siesta next to this mule, which had the largest set of mule nuts they
had ever seen.
Trying not to stare at the huge mule nuts, they asked the little
Mexican man, "Excuse us, but could you tell us what time it is?"
The little Mexican man reached his hand under the enormous set of mule
nuts and, li... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 696  |  
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Chris Grffin pt 1

Chapter 1

This story is just something I made up when I was bored. It's not supposed to be good or bad,just an idea that popped into my head. Also, it's not canon to my other f****y Guy fanfiction,The Unknown Griffin, so don't expect to see Cindy, Britney or Jessica here. Enjoy this...thing.

Hello. You mayhave heardabout me. My name is Chris Griffin, and not much is known about me. I'm mainly considered a "space occupier", among other things, but that's only because everyone's too busypaying attention to either Brian, Stewie or Peter. There's a lot more to me than what is seen on the sur... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 696  |  
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Husband watches

Jools sat astride him. He didn't know where to look. She was so beautiful. So naughty. She wore flawless make-up. Her eyes smokey with shadow. Seductive. Her lips were a shiny gloss. She wore a red and black corset. One nipple slipping into view as she leant forward and kissed him. Between his naked thighs, his cock twitched against her fishnet stocking clad leg.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard," whispered Jools, her voice a hot whisper in his ear. She nuzzled his neck. Took one of his hands and placed it between her thighs. Under her palm his fingers rubbed at the sheer panties a... Continue»
Posted by bumfelt 6 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 696  |  
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What to do For an Encore

"Back in med evil days Gay sex was more in the open."

"Behold Hector, someone with their head and arms
caught in the stockade. Let us make haste
and part his ass cheeks forthwith!"

"You go ahead Orville I will go to the village and summon
the brethren so we can have a proper gang bang!"

*********************************************************************

The room was filled with cigarette smoke. But that wasn't a problem for two reasons. One we weren't at work and two I had started smoking again to help me over the estrogen roller co... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 694  |  
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SHE WANTED ALL OF ME IN HER MOUTH...

THIS IS JUST AN ACCOUNT OF THE GREATEST ORAL EXPERIENCE I EVER HAD.. I SHORT-CUT RIGHT TO THE JUICY PART.. BUT I GUARANTEE THIS IS ALL 100% HONESTY..

WHEN SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO 69 WITH MY, I LAY ON MY BACK GETTING MY HEAD COMFORTABLE ON THE PILLOWS... SILENTLY SHE WAVED HERE FINGER @ ME NEGATIVELY & GRABBING MY HAND SHE TUGGED/URGED ME UP & OFF THE BED.. ONCE I WAS UP, SHE LAY DOWN.. ONLY REVERSED (HER FEET TOWARDS THE HEADBOARD, HEAD HANGING FREELY OVER THE EDGE OF THE BED.. GAZING UP @ ME SHE TOLD ME, "NOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE TO MY PUSSY WITH YOUR TONGUE @ THE THE SAME TIME YO... Continue»
Posted by jboi626 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 693  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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close call

I got talking to a woman from work, we arranged to meet up for a drink one saturday night. after just one pint we couldnt wait so we went back to my car and drove off to find somewhere quiet. she couldnt wait for me to stop driving and was touching my growing cock. finally found somewhere to park, just a small gravel run off on a b road. we flattened the seats to give us a bit more room and ripped eachothers clothes off! the risk factor made it so much better! within 5 min she had squirted soaking my car seats! after about 20 min a van pulled up really quick, bright lights shining on the car. ... Continue»
Posted by jamie8422 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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The Goddess Of Fertility

The Goddess of Fertility

I used to work with a guy called Melvin. He was a lovely, happily married man with one
problem in his life. His beloved wife and he were finding it difficult to conceive.

I was I think 25, he'd have been about 40.

They began a programme of IVF at a private BUPA hospital not far from our workplace.

Each of them had to go on there from time to time, for the removal of her eggs, and
of course, for him to provide his "sample" for the procedure.

He used to tell me this in a very matter of fact, jocular fashion. He had to pop out
or take an early lunch a... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 6 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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I finally bought a pack of Magnums

I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 689  |  
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Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 691  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 688  |  
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Good & Bad Fucking Lessons From Porn Movies

In addition to its ability to cheer you up in times of need, porn has some useful lessons to impart to its viewers. On the other hand, some of these are hideous faux pas that every man should avoid like the plague -- or gonorrhea, for that matter. Then there are the great lessons porn has to offer us all.

Pornography is generally a healthy staple of any man’s life, but beware: Not all porn is helpful to your sex life. Watching porn with your girlfriend can be a great way to learn about each other and have a laugh. Although you'll probably learn most lessons on your own, if you're lucky, yo... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 688  |  
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Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 686  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 1 year ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 686  |  
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Doing it Yoga Style

Frank Templemead was thirty year old marriage counsellor who was still single at 45. His girlfriend, a 40 year old, rather reserved school teacher, with whom he slept most week-ends, had always sort of satisfied him sexually but he felt there was something lacking.

He didn’t want to be disloyal to his lady friend but when he listened to his clients talking about their sex lives he began to feel quite out of touch with today’s sexuality and decided he needed more experience to be a better lover and more effective counsellor. Enter Celestine Camarillo.

Celestine was a 20 year yoga instruct... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 4 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 687  |  
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