Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 64
Sunny Brown’s wife Valerie, a hospital senior dietician, had gone to Sydney for an advanced hospital nutrition and food services management course for a month and Sunny's missing her and missing connecting with her vagina. Equally distressing he was missing her superior cooking compared to his best endeavours and generally most restaurant meals he’d had didn’t measure up either.
But he survived without complaint and cooked some of his dinners, mainly sticking with chicken fried rice or mince on toast or a roast. Two bright spots were invitations on week one and week two from two friends, we... Continue»
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:
"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"
The Italian Job 11
I awoke again about 07.30, it took a few seconds to get my bearings then there was a stirring in my groin and I realised I was spooned up with her again, she turned as she woke bringing her face very close to mine in the bed, I straightened my legs down the bed and she brought her hips into me, passing a leg onto the top of mine, she had her eyes open and she was watching me “are you ok this morning?” she asked “I feel terrific” I replied “ any second thoughts or regrets?” she continued “why should there be?” I countered “last night you had sex with a woman who could be you... Continue»
A f****y sitting around the dinner table and the son asks if he can ask a question.
The father responds.
Of course,the only question!
The young man asks his dad:
Dad,how many different kinds of breasts are there?
Well,son,there are three kinds of breasts.
The 20-year-old woman has breasts are like melons, round & firm.
Around 30-40 years of age are like pears still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty,they are like onions.
Yes, when you see them and they make you cry.
This outlay was both mother and daughter to see red,so the daughter sa... Continue»
Beth smirked at her friend across the room and quickly sipped from her mid afternoon glass of Chablis in an attempt to stop herself from giggling. Jenna, her friend since school, wasn't fairing quite so well in stifling her own fit of girlish giggles. As her shoulders began to silently shake, Beth knew it was only a matter of time before her friend would let out her customary bizarre high pitched whine, which always preceded the inevitable complete break down into hysterics for both women.
Beth had been here many times before. Like the time, many years ago at a party, where Beth awoke to th... Continue»
I think I better start from the beginning?
my wife & I have been married for over 30 years, we had good times well as bad times, for me I would say been more good time then bad times over the years.
once a month we do a meal in the house.
my wife would say meal tonight & fun, so we go into town pick up what we need then come home have sl**p for an hour or two?
about 4:30 I start the meal then about 5:30 wife go up stairs ask me to give her shave, while she getting ready for me to shave her I would run the bath.
after I shaved her all over how she looks like little girl bold?
I wou... Continue»
That happened to me when I studied at the University. I didn’t live with my parents because in this city we didn’t have a house or some relatives or even friends. I was late to get my name on the list to the college hostel, so I had to rent accommodation just a few blocks from the campus. There were 2 of us, 2 girls who rented one apartment, because it was a bit cheaper for us both to share accommodation fees.
I walked in to the apartment I shared with another girl named Lucy. It was late Friday night. I had been in the library, preparing for my exams on the next Monday. The living room was i... Continue»
Hello Guys and Girls I’m Naren 23 years old from Chennai. I am a student. Well I don't like to praise my own personality by my own words but my friends opinion about my personality is that Dude, you can impress any female of this world whether married or unmarried, whether sound character or unsound by your personality with in no time.
I am here to narrate the best encounter of my life. I am eagerly waiting for the response and suggestions of my story readers and readers post your feedback or If you need any help you can mail me on email@example.com
It was summer vacation. I was alone... Continue»
Mandy was a really strange one.
I ran into her at the bar pretty early on in my bartending days... She was in college, and would come to the bar most Tuesdays with some friends for what ever the Tuesday night special was.
Anyway, I noticed she was the shy one in the group, always avoiding the d***ken frat boys that wandered from table to table trying to get their dicks wet. One night she and her two friends sat at the bar. I saw it as my chance to bone a "nice Jewish girl" and started to talk with her. I don't really remember that much about it, or her, other then it took a few more v... Continue»
"Mais maman!" Je plaidé. "Je ne ai pas besoin d'une baby-sitter! Je ne peux pas simplement rester moi-même cette fois? »Mais elle ne bougeait pas. Pour l'amour de Pete, je avais quatorze ans. Tout simplement parce que mes parents ont dû sortir de la ville pour le week-end, pourquoi ai-je avoir quelqu'un rester avec moi comme si je étais un petit enfant!
«Regardez Jeff, je ai entendu tout ce que je vais vous entendre. Je reçois la fille de Mme Walker, Rachel de rester avec vous, et ce est tout ce qu'il ya à faire. »Puis sa voix se adoucit un peu. "Ecoute chérie, ce ne est pas que nous ne vou... Continue»
Part of my job is giving advice to groups of around 40 people; the reason for the small numbers is in my field of work and a lot of individuals need to ask many questions and you could be their all night.
Last Monday I was in Harrogate doing a talk. In the front row, smack in the middle were this good looking couple in their 40s, he had a very expensive suit on and she had this wonderful short dress showing quite a lot of leg extenuating her figure with a nice pair of black and red high heels. As I was talking the woman kept crossing her legs one way then the other and this caused her dress t... Continue»
Well Chris, Sarah’s new boyfriend, did you ask her about that tramp she exposed herself to, that I mentioned in the last episode of Sarah, your slutty new girlfriend? No? Or maybe she just went quiet and denied it ever happened. Well, it certainly did. And here’s what she did.
Sarah didn’t mention again her idea of exposing herself to a dirty tramp (hobo, for you American guys), for quite some weeks. But I thought it might still be on her mind. And it was. One early Friday evening in the summer, Sarah suddenly said ‘You know that tramp thing we mentioned, I want to do it, right now... Continue»
Roots Motel Ch 1
By: Friskee_cpl (firstname.lastname@example.org)
It takes hours to write these stories but only seconds to vote and send a message. Thanks to all of those wonderful people who send messages. It does make a difference. Please enjoy.
You help fuck a friend's wife and cum all in her cunt and you end up buying their motel. As Ned Kelly said "Such is Life".
Hello I am Marcus Franklin. I own a small motel in the Riverina and I spend a fair amount of my time in the bedroom. Well bedrooms to be precise. I have just bought a 20 room motel that I will be running with my wife Sharon... Continue»
We were mostly curious people when it came to sex and we were pretty open about our desires and fantasies and today as we cuddled together on the sofa in front of the TV the subject of anal sex came up. I'm not sure why but it came into the conversation.
It was something that neither of had tried, maybe it was fear or caution. "What do you think of anal sex?" I asked.
You look up at me, quizzically, "Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering if you've ever tried it?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.
You give it some thought for a moment before answering. "I don't know" you say "Doesn't... Continue»
Introduction: As always your comments, ratings, and jokes are greatly appreciated
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy,... Continue»
it all started when me and my bf at the time was sat in the living room it had been a pretty boring day we were just having a couple of drinks as we did on most occasions and i was getting a little horny so i looked at my bf and said i was going to put a dvd on so i walked ova to my bag and pulled out a porn dvd and wen he realised what i had put on u saw a smile come right across his face he looked pleased so we started to watch it and continue our drinking by the end of it we had started to kiss and caress each other just on top of our clothes we started to get in to the moment and he slowly... Continue»
Miguel and René- Three's not always a crowd.
I didn't want to go to the pub with Miguel. It was about 2 weeks after Easter break and I wanted to write some letters to my parents to soften the hard feelings about going to Miguel's f****y's home for the holiday rather than to New York and tell them about my holiday.
"But it's Portugal in the finals" he crooned, coming close to stand between my legs where I sat at the dining table with my sketchbook and journal out. I was flipping through postcards and printed photos of Miguel's f****y and estate that I wanted to include in my letters. "Qu... Continue»
This morning when waking up, as always, i go straight to the toilets, scratching carelessly my f****y jewels. I just forgot for a second that my cousine was at home since yesterday evening. She's there standing in the corridor staring at me. Such an uncomfortable feeling grows in me...
Now she's enjoying her breakfast, i go to the bathroom, washing myself and here comes my morning boner without warning, i start wanking, lightly, and once again i just forgot i'm not alone, and the door is not locked and there she's entering the bathroom, hopefully i was not moaning her name...
Now she'... Continue»
I had an appointment with Nanci scheduled for late Tuesday afternoon.
She was stressed-out and there was no reason to prolong her agony over her grades, and I was going to let her off the hook.
Even knowing that my coed selection had already been made for the year and she was no longer a possibility, Nanci still made me silently gasp as she walked through the door, and I could see the truly radiant beauty that she was. Even with her eyes downcast and a frown on her face, she was gorgeous.
After she was seated, I explained that I had been watching her progress in class and on the essays... Continue»
After my PG I joined a nationalised bank in Chennai. I was new to this place and people refused to give rooms to outsiders without proper introduction. I roamed around an finally got one room in a dingy locality with bathroom facility Somehow I wanted to stay and I thought I can change the room later to a convenient location.
My neighbour an elderly man working in a private firm, once asked me whether I am willing to take tuition for a college going girl for mat