Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 12
Sam and i been best buddies for some years and shared some great times together. we usually go snowboarding several times during the winter and have great chats there. st some stage we suddenly decided in the summer that we should go snowboarding.. we arranged a trip to the nearest glacier and the evening before the trip we talked to a girl we both know.. she was not a big looker but slim , good ass and fun to be with. when she heard out plan she asked if she could join and we said for sure why not..
the next day we took the trip to the glacier.. on the way to the glacier we kept joking a... Continue»
Ray sat at his desk his gaze fixed firmly on Simon.
"Dare I ask why you're staring so obsessively at Simon, Ray?" Colton asked coming over.
"I saw him laugh a few minutes ago, that's why." Ray said keeping his Gaze fixed on Simon.
"Simon doesn't laugh Ray, are you sure it wasn't a burp?" Colton asked.
"It was a laugh I tell you. He was at his desk at his computer, he got a text then he laughed!"
As the two continued to talk they were joined by Amber, Beth and Hector.
"What's going on over here?" Amber asked.
"Simon laughed!" Ray said under his breath.
"Are you sur... Continue»
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand ... Continue»
My name is Erin. I'm a 19 year old girl living in Mount Shasta, California. Last month, i tried to log onto my teengirerin xhamster account:
But i couldn't log on because xhamster said my password was invalid. Then i went to my account, in the same way as any other user would do, to see what was up. Turns out that this guy named Mike, a 51 year old lawyer & CPA living in California, has hacked into and hijacked my account. I'm really ticked off about it and this story is about how i'm... Continue»
It was 7 months after the birth of my second c***d and 3 weeks after my tubal ligation. I was mildly anxious because this was my first business trip away from my husband and two k**s in over two years. The trip was important, our company was evaluating a water reclamation project and I was asked to lead the engineering team. I was nervous and my usual self-surety was shaky from the 12 week absence I had taken earlier in the year and the gravity of the current project. Don't get me wrong, I've always been confident in my abilities and I command respect of even the most senior colleagues. My ... Continue»
When I was growing up I would spend my summers on my grandparents farm in NC. Its where I had the greates time of my life, the first time i saw the Bull and his balls that hung down to the ground. I was surprized he didn't kick them when he walk, and when I saw him get hard before doing his thing with the cows I almost fainted. My grandma saw me and laughed, she said don't worry not all men are that big thank god she added. I saw the pigs, goats and etc do it. The farm has a small river behind the barn where the chicken coop is. The strangest relationship I saw was my pet cat I calle... Continue»
One day in 1991, my girlfriend asked me to take a short cut on the way back to her apartment. She asked me to turn left at the next street, so I did. A little ways up the street, she asked me to pull over, which I also did. She said, "We're here."
I said, "Where are we?"
She replied, "At a restaurant. I'd like you to try something. It's called calamari."
We went inside and I noticed something odd. There were lots of tables, with absolutely nothing on them, and only two chairs with one against a wall and the other at the same table but facing oppositely. No one else was there, e... Continue»
Ceri my sexy saucy girlfriend was having a night out with the girls. It had been a while since she has been out and she was looking forward to it. As in my previous story Ceri like’s to flirt around with my mates and other lads she finds hot. She love’s being touched up and I don’t mind her having a bit of fun now and again. We had a steaming threesome with a male college friend of mine a few years ago. Since then our sex life has been pretty normal.
My good friend Dave was staying over our house to keep me company while she was out for the night. We had a load of beers in and were having a... Continue»
She was so d***k. She thought the girls that brought her along were her friends, but they weren't. If they were, they'd have never let me drag her away from the fire.
I was a gatecrasher. I hadn't expected to be at any party, I didn't really know too many people in this city apart from my house-mates. I work at a local drive-through liquor store. Late one night a bunch of immature, loud-mouthed lads came through and told us about a beach party they were going to. I was on the 'early' shift, I finished at 11pm just as they came in to stock their trunk. The whole world was their friend just ... Continue»
I thought I would give another story for everyone. It's kinda a short story but I enjoyed every minute of it. Once again, THIS IS TRUE! I love reading true encounters and I love telling you about mine...
My high school sweetheart and I came back from a party at her friends house. Since there was some alcohol at the party she decided to partake in a beverage or two. As we entered her house she stops me and starts stroking me in the foyer. Mind you, it's around 11:30pm - her curfew - and usually her parents kinda keep a keen ear to her coming home. So I am nervous because all her paren... Continue»
One day Mary came over to visit jean and me, we were sitting in the living room down stairs watching TV. Nobody but us was home. Mary came down and had a seat on the couch with us. As soon as she got comfy, I started kissing jean’s neck and rubbing her body all over, Mary looked shocked at first then, after a couple of minutes she looked like she was enjoying watching us. Her best friend getting groped like a common whore. Then I took jean’s shirt off exposing her black and lacy bra she was wearing. Jean didn’t resist I guess it was turning her on do it in front of her best friend Mary.
This is my first blog and this story about having sex with my neighborhood girl in water when we had gone for a f****y trip. Myself Sam age 23 this happened to me this June She is my neighbor girl and she got married recently, I did sex with her when she came home for my s****r’s marriage. I obviously masturbated by thinking about her in my younger days. She is really hot with cute lips I always stare at and 36 size boobs and great navel point which I see through her saree. I longed for this day to touch her boobs and to taste her pussy and thighs. It was during the July month we arranged ... Continue»
Stacey had needed a part time job and started to take classes on massage therapy. I used to mess with her and ask about "happy endings", and she would shake her head and call me an idiot. I guess she really was learning the real massage therapy stuff.
One day I had to help move some stuff at Staceys and after a while felt something wrong with my shoulder. It got real stiff and had a little pain. She offered to look at it, but not taking massage too seriously, I laughed it off. Seeing how much pain I was in at dinner, my wife (Stacey's s****r) told me not to be stupid and to let her look at i... Continue»
Okay, let me say to the many that might say what the fuck. And ask why I am posting this. Well I know that there are some that don't know everything so to "ABC" the sex words, (Just for the ones that don't have a clue. And the credit goes to the "sex dictionary"). >>> Please note some of the key words were left off for obvious reasons of course as some of them were very taboo. <<< Enjoy........
afterglow - n.
The good feeling experienced after sex, especially the feeling of a woman after an orgasm.
I screamed as we both climaxed, then he... Continue»
My buddy was coming to pick me up from the airport because I had just touched down. I was visiting him for the first time in six years, he had joined the Air f***e. I was going to stay for a week, I asked him to make sure there were some decent bitches around, but to my dismay he told me he was in a committed relationship and that I was on my own in that area. Well as I exited the plane into the airport, I noticed he was standing there with a very hot mess of a bitch, she was wearing a micro pink mini dress, and you could see she was freeballing because that fucking dress was almnost see throu... Continue»
'What was I thinking, fucking stupid cow'. Yes I am talking about me, I walked into it, eyes wide closed, as the saying goes, but what fuck, sit back and let me tell you and see what you think, I promise I will be open, honest, and get right down into the knitty gritty, I wont miss anything out, then you will see just how much of a slut I am.
I was home while my husband was away on a job on an oil rig in India, we had been separated for five weeks and he was due home the following week, but had just informed me by email, he might be delayed as finding men were getting difficult so we would ha... Continue»
My life was not what one would call Adventurous. I had a simple job in a simple little town. I was a shift supervisor in a plastics factory. Then our company got bought by a big Silicon Valley company who wanted to use our cheap sturdy plastic as casing for a new tablet PC. I suddenly found myself promoted replacing the recently dismissed COO.
That brings me to where the story begins...in a cab to the airport. The Company was flying me Business Class to California to handle last minute merger details. I was very nervous for two reasons:
1. I was way over my head
2. I had never... Continue»
my girlfriend and i were driving down the road(i was driving) we had been together for awhile i had gone down on her, but she never really gave me head. well on this night we turned off on the usual road home and it was about 10 miles away from the next town it was dark outside. she leaned over and started kissing my neck. i told her this isnt fair im driving and your teasing me. she replied(i loved this part) "let me make it up to you" she unzipped my pant pulled out my thich hard cock and started sucking it. i was in complete heaven for 8 minutes then tragedy hit. i see flashing po... Continue»
Last week I was ready for a girls nite out with my best girlfriend but once again her husband decided to ruin it all by getting sick so she opted to stay home and take care of him instead:(((. So all alone and nothing to do I got on xhamster and started watching a little bit'o'porn playing with my increasingly wet pussy. Well about 10 or 15 minutes into taking care of myself I realized that i had forgotten to draw my shades shut....oops..... When I looked out I could see into my neighbors window and there he was staring right into my window. Cock in hand an just. Pulling away at it. Well i ... Continue»
So this was about a year ago, and was the closest i've ever come to getting caught. (I have not been caught yet) I was on vacation with my f****y, and I brought along a freind of mine I had been "getting acquainted" with. So we find the opportunity to release our feelings after a week of entrapment, everyone is out of the house except for my s****r who is still sl**ping. So we start going at it, first she gets on top and does her thing and gets the O, then we start going at it doggy style, and I mean full one doggystyle. Moaning, hair pulling and spanking. While we're doing this i'm on the ver... Continue»