Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second stab at humor in sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same d***ken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"

"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."

"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.

"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.

"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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the truck

it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Posted by wja1291 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Something funny

# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask
the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the
front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if
your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
1221."

# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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FUCKED-OVER AGAIN

Have you ever been with someone with such an addiction that they would lie, cheat and be prepared to lose it all? Well as it is said..what have I got myself into Ollie lol......this can't even call it a man is addicted to men, little girls, girls, old bags, anything that is connected to porn lmaooooo and not that I am drop dead beautiful but close lol.....ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE???? that would be a question to ponder.......why a person's hand should be sore and he has or had a person....wow what a loss huh.......Anyone got an idea????... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Lunch Break

part 2 continuation of "Wake Up!"

After this morning's "wake up" I couldn't focus on work all morning
my thoughts are of nothing but you
your flawless creamy white skin, ample breasts and firm round ass
the scent of your perfume
your light brown hair that frames your angelic face
the pout of your full luscious lips
and your eyes, I lose myself in their dreamy caramel luster
I arrive at our meeting spot, the drinking fountain by the supply closet
you're not there, you're late
we only have 30 minutes for lunch
you said that you had a surprise for me
what could it be...
a new rest... Continue»
Posted by CMStivy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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A Shortie for Susan - Part 2

Bindi
Andy was in the shower stroking his cock, remembering the amazing fuck with his Math Tutor Bendy Bindi yesterday afternoon. In his imagination he could still feel her hot thighs pressing into his arse and her hands pinning back his ankles as she took him in the Amazon position. Just when he couldn’t imagine it getting any hotter, Susan his step-mum appeared in the shower, standing behind him, pressing her tits into his back and gripping his slippery cock.

“What are we going to do with you, you naughty boy? I bet you’re thinking about fucking that Indian slut Bindi again. Well ... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 4 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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what I am I doing?

I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.

I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I
licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to
sc**** my teeth against it.

There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done.

I threw away the outsides of my Oreo Cookie


... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Oooh lala LOVERS voyager

u come out from a shower with jst a towel on u... saying in a naughty way that u jst shave it ;) me... without a word i take my shirt and my short... be naked in bed... u laught and throw that towel... then jump nxt to me ♥ I leaned over ur face and gently kissed ur sweet fresh cheeks... then lightly i put my lips on urs which was so hot and sweet... after many crazy kisses and some frenshy which was realy enough to make my dick go up... oh... i moved my lips down to ur neck... many little gentle kisses... then to ur boobes placing ur whole nipple in my mouth and suck it ;) but the tongue play... Continue»
Posted by LadyWild 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The old buck. The real story.

My dad is one of the richest men in Russia, so called tycoon.
We live in a big mansion near a small Ural town.
Dad has joint business with Dmitry Vasilyevich, 62 years old bald fat man with a big belly and large height.
He has a wife and three c***dren.
His youngest daughter Olesya is of my age. She hates me because of some trifles.
Dmitry Vasilyevich often visits our house because of the business.
I am not afraid to be immodest, but I should say that I am a very attractive sexy blonde girl with large blue eyes, thin waist and pretty big breasts. My legs are long and beautiful too, and o... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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“wondering what he would do…”

“wondering what he would do…”

This post, inspired by a communication from a specific xhamster woman, is purely my fantasy, based upon a remarkably small number of private messages where she shared what she liked about my writing.

Chapter 1: Shake something at them...
SHE (starting from her perspective):
I can’t believe that I’m actually flying to Atlanta to check out this kinky “Emorymed” guy from xhamster (Wonder what his real name is?). What started as a passing curiosity, evolved to email exchanges, 'make me blush' photos, skype and now, finally, “in the flesh”. Although w... Continue»
Posted by emorymed 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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THE SEX LIFE OF AN ELECTRON

One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to find a cute little coil to saturate. He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode over Wheatstone bridge, around the sine waves, and stopped by a flowing current.
They walked over to Magnetic field and sat down. Micro-Farad, attracted by Milli-amp’s characteristic curves, soon had her resistance at a minimum, and her field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowering her resistance still more, and then hr pulled out his hi-voltage probe. He inserted it in... Continue»
Posted by fred269 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My Sexy Saali(s****r-in-Law)

Mera nam Preetam hai. Meri umar 19 saal ki hai. Ghar par mere alawa kewal mere bhaiya Mohan aur bhabhi Anu hi hain. 2 saal pahle bhaiya ki shaadi huyee hai. Bhabi maayke gayee thi. Bhabhi jab wapas aayee to unke saath unki chhoti bahan Sapna bhi hamare ghar aayee. Wo bahut hi khoobsurat aur bahut hi chanchal thi. Uski umar lagbhag 17 saal ki thi. Wo mujhe bhi jija kahti thi aur bahut mazak karti thi. Bhabhi ne use mere room ke bagal wala room de diya tha. Ek din raat ko main bathroom jaa raha tha to maine dekha wo bahut hi dhyan se key hole se bhaiya ke room mein dekh rahi thi. Gallery mein ek... Continue»
Posted by fuckutonight 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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3 Girls In A Cafe Part 1

Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
---

"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Kinky Vanilla: Prologue

Introduction:
A short, vague beginning to a long series
A word of warning: I am a very wordy writer and my stories are almost more about the stories and characters than the sex. If this isn't your cup of tea and you're looking for raunchy stories that get right into it, this story and others by me are not for you. This chapter is the prologue and is thus intentionally vague to begin with and somewhat heavy with exposition. I predict this series will go on for many, many chapters but I know it will take a while to get going. If you're ready for the long haul, I hope it's worth it and you enjo... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 10 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Who are You and Why?

This is not a story, but hopefully a fun way to determine Who you really are and Why?

Wife who sucks dick or slut that swallows it?
Wife who loves to be eaten or slut who masturbates while being bitten
Wife who wants to be held or slut that likes to be spanked
Wife who complains about the size of her ass or slut that squeals in delight while willingly being taken from behind...

Who are you? Wife, Slut or Slut-Wife... Continue»
Posted by Yes2u4 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it co... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 2)

Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.

As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P1)

Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.

Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy wife and I continued

Hello My suzie and I have been together going on thirty years it has been a great ride . I have written about our adventures in the laundry and in the yard on the deck our dining room of our new house and our date to the erotic drive in on our third date,
She was a hottie then and still my hottie we love it when we do have time and the wanting to have sex some awesome hot wet sex!
We use to have swimming pools some only a foot and half deep a k**dy pool we use to lie in it on a warm summer evening after the k**s got out it was funny we were out in the wood we did not have any one close en... Continue»
Posted by fulltimeflirt 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah the exhibitionish, Story 5

My ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend is now really pi**ed off by this blog about her. Well, let me see if I can annoy him even more, by telling all you guys about how she flaunted her naked body to two guys.

I used to be a keen amateur photographer and for my birthday, Sarah agreed to model for me at a photographic studio in the city of Bath, in the UK.

She said ‘Let’s take a bottle of wine with us. I loose my inhibitions a lot more after a drink or two’. Oh boy, did she! We arrived at the studio and were greeted by the two guys who ran it, one old, one in his 20’s. They had set the photographic... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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