Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

Masturbating

This morning I was sitting naked in front of my laptop masturbating to pichunter when I decided to go to the bathroom to get some lube. However, before I returned there was a knock on the door. Then I heard the knob start to turn. It was the maintenance guy coming to grab the fire extinguisher for its annual inspection. I had forgotten about the flyer that was left on my door the day before and had not left the extinguisher outside the doorway as was asked. Since I’m not usually at home during the day, he must’ve assumed it was okay to enter so abruptly.

I was really in a tight spot becau... Continue»
Posted by malesub01 7 months ago  |  Categories: , Sex Humor  |  Views: 131

Mac Daddy pimpin Presents he jumpoff



Where do I begin?! So this hottie got at me last year when I was in NJ, but we didn't get to meet up. We kept in touch over YIM and email...dude would be @ work or where ever and shoot me an email on his phone that he was horny and needed to see a vid of me doing what I do...he would let me know the type of shit he's gonna do wit me when it's his turn...that type of shit I love!!! So this past weekend (NYC's Pride) dude hit me up on YIM and was like he's in town staying wit fam in BK...so I told him to cum thru but he wasn't so familiar wit the train thing and strangely enuff I was drivi... Continue»
Posted by mac14113 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 130

Women want More

The pillow talk of new millennium couples in the 2010 INDIA TODAY-AC Nielsen-ORG MARG sex survey tells an unprecedented story of women's arou*al being thwarted and of romance gone sour. Call it the Eat Pray Love moment in the life of the modern Indian woman. Just as the lead character, Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts in the film) was asked by her Balinese healer to "pray for sex", the survey finds Indian women meditating intently on the prayer beads of fulfilling and wholesome sex.

Shatter those stereotypes that tell you women are not as interested in sex as men are. Overturn the idea that... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 128  |  
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Women like dating playboys

Women show the opposite pattern. They are more likely to continue dating a man who has had a heterosexual affair than one who has had a homosexual affair.

The study provides new insight into the psychological adaptations behind men's desire for a variety of partners and women's desire for a committed partner. These drives have played a key role in the evolution of human mating psychology.

"A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues — those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women," said Jaime C. Confer, the st... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 127

When Love Is Gone

The first thing you should remember is that being lovelorn is not something serious. It is a very normal thing in life. People around you like your friends, your colleagues, your close relatives or even your ex have been in this situation at least once.

Of course, you will be sad and broken-hearted when your lover leaves you. This cannot be avoided. However, an intelligent girl will not let it affect her so much, she knows what is good for her and will recover her balance quickly by:

1. Spending her time on new hobbies or coming back to old ones that she has forgotten so far like: phot... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 127  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians part 2

Are you drinking the water or the wave?

The midget, whose name was Markoff Chaney, was no relative of the famous Chaneys of Hollywood, but people did keep making jokes about that. It was bad enough to be, by the standards of the gigantic and stupid majority, a freak; much worse to be so named as to remind those big oversized clods of cinema's two most famous portrayers of monster-freaks. By the time the midget was fifteen, he had built up a detestation for ordinary mankind that dwarfed (he hated the word) the relative misanthropies of Paul of Tarsus, Clement of Alexandria or Swift of Dubli... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 124  |  
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Hopeless romantic...

Well, since this is my very first post here, I know I will be screwing something up as I go along. Please bear with me.. :)

I am always a believer of strong relationship. No matter how rocky a relationship is, love will find it's way to unite the two hearts. Many of us may have different fetishes but I am pretty sure that this is for the pleasure of the other partner. You may share your husband and wife, make them your slave or anything that you can think of, but at the end of the day, both of you will be back together sharing the same love and remembering the vows that you have exchanged t... Continue»
Posted by Killroy17 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 124  |  
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Alicia's first lesson in deprivation play

“What do you mean by sensory play? I am not into anything rough, you are right about that. But I think you are talking about something else.” The beautiful young lady opened the door for me to go through and open her eyes to a whole different way of looking at sex. Two drinks later, we each entered the date and time for her education to begin on our smart phones and went our separate ways.

I arrived at the motel, paid for the room and went to the car and got my bags and headed up to the room to get started. I texted Alicia the room number and gave her directions. I then began unloading... Continue»
Posted by imornery81 7 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 126  |  
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Charlotte's Story Part 3


With the warmth of tongue and the coldness of her tongue it was creating a sensation I had never felt before, my back as well as the rest of my body was bucking like a wild stallion but the restraints kept me in check I felt like a caged a****l unable to escape. With this temptress trying to break my self control I could feel the semen welling up my shaft waiting for a swift release all I could think was – I cannot hold on any longer she is breaking me- “miss may I please be released I would love to service you” with a crack my skin began to sting she had hit me across the nipple with the ri... Continue»
Posted by tigerkiduk 7 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 124  |  
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Sex Fantasy TV, A Play (Sixth stab at humor)

The second humor based short play I wrote back in 2009...sixth stab at humor in sex...

Sex Fantasy TV, A Play (Sixth stab at humor)

Scene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show's host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on.

Characters:
Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show.
Debbie: Shapely, young woman in a sequined dress. She points to the prizes on ... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 123  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

Another story I found and loved...


After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small cock on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being w... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 121  |  
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Key Wet Dreams

(Loving during Fantasy Fest)

We knew it was going to be a different world. It was also immediately obvious Linda and I had over packed. Our first stroll down Duvall revealed to us amazing body art, amazing tits, amazing attitude. We knew we were in our element.

The crowd was not the loud, mostly obnoxious college crowd we had encountered at Mardi Gras, but an older, laid back group. We were in our early forties so we fit right in. My wife's first move was to accost a woman wearing Tweety Bird on her tits and Sylvester just peeking above her wrap.

"Where did you get this done? It's fab... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 121  |  
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Theatrical....29

Theatrical…… 29

Gerald was doing his lengths and I saw the troop of the princess and her maidens walk along the side of the pool and organise some beds, the princess looked around, possibly to see if anyone was watching her, I was tucked away at the end of the balcony and the handrail obscured me from being seen while my view was perfect, the princess walked to the edge of the pool and sat down,
dangling her feet in the water, one of her maids came beside her and handed her a jar, she began to rub some kind of cream onto her arms, “just get a nostril full of that Gerald and you will be up... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 120  |  
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The Tyrannosaurus R(ex) (Va)gina; our big bag of c

The Tyrannosaurus R(ex) (Va)gina; our big bag of collective Canadian Rights.

1. 1. What is RECTUM? definition of RECTUM (Black's Law Dictionary)
Definition of RECTUM: Lat Right; also a trial or accusation. Bract; Cowell.

The etymology of words provides for hilarious interpretations of the truth. Lawyers are wordsmiths and one of the little con games they play on their hapless victims is to change the meaning of legal terms to twist the meaning of the intent of all their Acts (plays). For this reason I always defer to terms specifically from Black’s Law Dictionary, 6th Edition. This is t... Continue»
Posted by townsendjimathotmale 6 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 122  |  
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Beauty and the Smurf pt 2

Beauty and the Smurf Chapter 2: Secrets Revealed & Decision

For a few split seconds, no one in the castle knew what to say. It was strange enough that Lotus and Paige are from the future. But for them to know Valentina the fairy godmother is even stranger… Finally, Papa spoke, “Lotus, Paige, how do you two know Valentina the fairy godmother?” Lotus answered without hesitation, “Mademoiselle Valentina was our next-door neighbor in Paris. But tha’ still doesn’t explain why she iz here…” King Gerard had kept quiet the whole time the conversation went on. He had learned early on from Homnibus t... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 4 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 120  |  
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Mafia Valentines


My love for you... it came and went.
So your feet are now in wet cement.

I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes
Now that your husband sl**ps with the fishes.

Lie down with me -- it's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa.

I picked up this card from a slim selection
But that's all they offer here in witness protection.

Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.

Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass;
So please be mine, Valentine, or I'll have to whack your ass.

Violets are blue, roses are red,
I blew up your car -- So why ain't y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 118  |  
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The Birth Of A Candy Bar

One PAYDAY, MR. GOODBAR wanted a BIT-O-HONEY. So he took Ms. HERSHEY behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and 5TH AVENUE. He let out a SNICKER and stuck his BUTTERFINGER up her KIT-KAT, causing a MILKY WAY. She screamed O'HENRY as she came all over his PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. After he busted a NUTRAGEOUS, she showered him with HERSHEY'S KISSES and told him he was better than the THREE MUSKETEERS. Soon, she was a bit CHUNKY and nine months later, she had BABYRUTH.... Continue»
Posted by The_Tongue_Fu_Master 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 116  |  
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Car Wars

Car Wars.. Chevy Corvette Vrs Toyota Prius.
I wrote once that God Drives a Chevy Corvette, Toyota Prius was made by the Devil. Only one person ever said anything about that. She wrote to me and said " But Prius cars are great for giving abortions in!"
It hurt... It was like a knife was thrust into my V8 heart. So I wrote this.
I'm not sure if I could describe in detail the power felt when shifting that Corvette from Second gear to third, at 4500 RPMs... You can feel the mechanics like the bolt action on a powerful rife, slowly but firmly pushing the projectile into the tight virgin barrel.... Continue»
Posted by VampireVan 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 115  |  
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Post to a depressed mate

This is what I posted to a mate has issues attracting a female. He is disabled, yet all parts work. This site has many people, some of whom are real and caring. Maybe someone there can also advise him. He is a human being and though I've never been in his situation, could use some positive words. G'day.

Sir,
Stop believing no woman will want you.
Make them want you.
They want a nice guy but select bad boys because they don't know what to expect from nice guys.
I lost a soulmate as she was afraid my commitment was real and I also didn't want to change her sexually.

Go to my page ... Continue»
Posted by asianflyer 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 113  |  
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QUOTATION ABOUT LOVE :)

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand

Mahatma Gandhi was what wives wish their husbands were: thin, tan and moral.

In Brighton she was Brenda
She was Patsy up in Perth,
In Cambridge she was Candida,
The sweetest girl on earth.
In Stafford she was Stella,
The pick of the bunch
But down on his expenses
She was Petrol, Oil and Lunch

It is impossible to love and be wise.

Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards

Love your enemies in case your friends ... Continue»
Posted by All-The-Way 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 109  |  
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