Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

A Bad Time For Honesty

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'MateMatch'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando , Florida if you win. What is your name? First name only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian!... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 3


Dear Dirty Diary,

Three weeks passed and it was Sunday morning. The sun peeked softly through the slats of the blinds in our bedroom, showing promise for an inspiring new day. Doug was sl**ping soundly, so I carefully slipped out of bed and headed for the shower. Soon the hot water tingled against my back and trickled down my bum, warming me completely. I shampooed my hair then began to lather the rest of me. The slippery bar of Dove slid soothingly across my wet skin, caressing my body with its softly rounded contours. Sure I had lathered my body completely, I took down the hand-held... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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sex story patr II (sonnnyla) for me

‘Hold your hand out!’ i exclaim, doing so i then lick your fingers... ‘Mmmm, tastes good’. Within seconds we are back to being fully aroused. Forgetting where we left off i turn you over so you are laid with your front on the bed. I kiss your bum cheeks and then tease around your rim for a while. I then kneel on the bed, pull your legs over my shoulders so your pussy is in my face, below my mouth and so you are facing down above my cock. Without hesitation you put your warm mouth over my cock, moving quickly up and down. I then put my tongue inside your vagina. I move in so deep and close that... Continue»
Posted by JessicaBrown 2 years ago  |  Categories: Voyeur, Sex Humor, Fetish  |  
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YOU CAN LOOK AND I WILL SAY WHEN YOU CAN TOUCH PAR

LOOK AND I WILL SAY WHEN YOU CAN TOUCH

Part 2

It was nearly a week later before I saw anyone which was strange as they never seemed to be there much considering they were a f****y I was beginning to think they were a very strange f****y,

I mean she put on a show for me, I then saw her with another man while her husband watched and the took part,
And now they were never at home and what’s happened to the son I haven’t seen him since they moved into the area very strange,

I’m still hoping to get to fuck her myself as it would seem that she likes to tease and then enjoys fucking othe... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch9/P2)

Leandra took a quick look back at the knight and the gobkins, to see it any of them had moved towards her. When she knew it was safe she turned her attention back to Nikko.

"I want you to go back to the castle and find Zimo and Gotifri. Tell them to gather a small group of loyal soldiers and come to Mombi castle. I don't know how this is going to turn out and I might need their assistants. Have them stay hidden, until I signal them."

"How will you signal them, my queen."

"I will think of something. They will know it when they see it."

She heard the hoofs of the knight horse coming ... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Allow me to introduce myself :

I don't want the truth. I want the dream. I don't need to be the center of attention; or have all the eyes on me. I don't want the lies and gossip spread around.

I get the hush when I walk through the door. I want to see the fear in their eyes when I walk on by with my head held high. They all hate me because I don't care about looks or the ideal body, yet follow me around like the worthless dogs that they are.

They say I am like Peter Pan. They say that I am vain and have an ego that is in full control. They tell me I'm apathetic as if I were to care.

But they don't fucking know m... Continue»
Posted by inmynewskin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Types of Sex between a Couple

In order to fully enjoy these practices, you must ensure you understand all of the potential ramifications prior to engaging in them.

Three is not a crowd

It is a common dream which in today’s time and age has the potential to be oh-so real. It involves you, your partner, and another person. Most people enter it to experience a new form of sex as they are bored of the ‘vanilla’ sex they have with their partner. However, the best would be if all three of you are reasonably well known to each other and comfortable enough to enjoy a sexual act.

Advantage: You have the chance to spice up ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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wen out and just cant wait to b fuked!!

many times ive been out and about, in the pubs and clubs, we all know wat its like wen u get the sexual urge to b fuked rite there and then, well i can proudly say i have fuked in most of the pub toilets in my town...............due to the fact wen the urge cums on and its too strong its a case of drag ur boyfriend to the nearest toilet cubicle get his trousers undone and his cock in ur mouth give him a very enjoyable lush slow and sensual sucking until he is fit to blow............he pulls u up by ur hair bends u over the toilet, lifts ur skirt pulls down ur panties hard like he is almost goi... Continue»
Posted by andetonya999 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Little R&R

A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.

As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Posted by elvinmagick 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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From Russia with love ;)

OK, This is my First true story Sex adventure and there will be more ;)

So one of my friends named Sona messages me one day saying shes going to a club in the city and she wanted to know if her and some of her friends can sl**p over. So obviously me being a guy, I'm like yeah sure as long as I can get some enjoyment out of it ;). She (Being super prude lol) says she doesn't wanna wanna be eattin' out because she doesn't wanna complicate our friendship. But she said she was bring to friends so I was allow to get some action out of them ^_^. One was a girl I've already met named Janna who nev... Continue»
Posted by BBCbeast 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Who's the boss?

“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 5 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A Sexy Romp Through Space-Time

I basically wrote this story just to see if I could pull it off. It is an unedited once over piece but it has gotten good feedback so I decided to post it and see what other people think.

OF WIZARDS AND STARSHIPS

A SEXY ROMP THROUGH SPACE-TIME


A cold and bitter wind blew through the darkened English countryside, carrying the promise of snowfall before morning. Across the land, Muggles and Wizards alike wisely chose to avoid the winter weather and instead found things to do indoors where it was safe and warm.
Despite being wrapped in numerous layers of defensive magical spells, ... Continue»
Posted by wraithe_13 1 year ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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As I fucked slut

This slut I saw when she left the store. She was twenty years old. She unsuccessfully catching a taxi. I approached her from behind, and that there are f***es punched her in the head. This bitch has fallen to the ground, and I climbed on her and began to fuck on the street. She began to cry:
"Oh, Fuck, Fuck me!" I've never fucked. Fuck "
Its by a dick I broke her hymen. And she screamed, "Fuck, Fuck."
I felt that I wanted to finish. I turned this whore to her face, and finished it on the snout. She was licking my cum from his snout.
"Give me your phone&qu... Continue»
Posted by Sexual_Maniac 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Mermaid - Short Story

Johnny Stout, 33, a life-long bachelor and a plumber by trade, is a very cheeky one: His element is the water and his love belongs to the mermaids of the deep! And whenever he dreams on his water bed at night his wet fantasies dive into the unexplored caverns hidden under the surface, the disturbed matress gurgling the sound track to his emotions:

Like in all those steaming hot summer nights when I can't find any sl**p I go for a refreshing swim. Quietly I climb over the fence of the local pool and listen out for noise. There is somebody already in the warm water, floating around at the f... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Secret Affair

There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.

Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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That particular morning

Everyday I'd wake up around 7 am and take my morning dump, usually I'd read the newspaper sometimes I'd only have time for a quick one so it was a hastily achieved f***ed one, kind of dump that just shoots straight out which isn't fun when it's not solid as it covers the bowl like that time at my mother-in-laws when I forgot to flush after eating some bad fish.

Any who.

After my dump my wife (Gazzel) would have breakfast waiting for me at about 07:45-08:00, she'd always cook me something good like fried food with a side bowl of healthy cereal which I had the choice to eat but never did ... Continue»
Posted by TheShalong 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Findxpartner-How To See Ur Friend Naked Pics

People, ever found a small glance of your findxpartner friends bosom while she bent low to choose something up?

Ever wanted you could have seen more? Of course..

If you have a companion who has relationship a magnificent looker, you would be inclined to imagine about your buddy's attractive time frame undressed too.

We want to see it more than ever. But more often than not, possibilities will come banging on your entrance if you can just understand to be on the lookout at the right time.

Spending a day out with your buddies at an alone identify, where in addition, there's a ... Continue»
Posted by carolwilliams 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Great car Mate! - A tale of Tea, Biscuits and som


I’ve told you about my fuck buddy and our first adventure with another guy, here is a tale of a very unusual dogging experience up at Wisley.
We arrived quite late one night and parked up in the cafe car park, both of us climbed into the back and started to kiss and cuddle as you do, I’m quiet keen to start removing her clothes as well as mine!
I’m down to my underpants and she is now just in her basque and stockings I’ve loosen her shoulder straps and sucking on her firm tits and tonguing her hard nipples, she has such wonderful tits and I can’t leave them alone, I take a peek outside an... Continue»
Posted by flashgit 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Sex on omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: Hey


You: hi


You: asl ?


Stranger: 15 f usa


Stranger: U?


You: 16 m france


You: are you sexy ?


Stranger: Yeah


Stranger: U?


You: tall, athletic body with 6 packs and blue eyes


Stranger: umm yeah ur sexy


Stranger: I'm shot, thin, athletic, blue eyes, blonde hair, and tan


Stranger: Short*


You: hmm you're sexy too


Stranger: Thanks


You: so have you a bf ?


Stranger: No


You: so you masturbate ?


Stranger: Yeah


You: how much o... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P2)

Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.

The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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