Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

Quickie Sensual Blowjob

Alright people this is my first attempt at a short story and it came from the help of an xhamster friend, thanks "Mouthlove"

I would choose the one next to her with the sensual and sexy face and the piercing eyes. Now how would like for her to please me well I would have to say while we were at a private night club and we had a semi secluded table and we had been flirting and teasing each other immensely and so she tells me to sit back and relax and she has a gift and surprise for me so she slides down my body and lowers my zipper and pulls out my cock and slowly starts to lick around the ... Continue»
Posted by flmixxer40 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 245  |  
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I Woke Up With A Fat Chick

I hope you can see the humor in this one, and don't let it happen to you...originally posted under BrianDamage...

I Woke Up With A Fat Chick

I woke up and couldn't believe my eyes,
When I caught sight of those monster thighs,
Was that a cow that was sucking my dick?
No, I woke up with a very fat chick.

The sight of her got me thinking,
I really should give up drinking,
As if I needed a reason why,
I should also stop getting high.

Looking at this gruesome sight,
I tried to recall what I did last night,
How did I possibly wind up with her?
But my mind was simpl... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 246  |  
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Theatrical......30

Theatrical………30, the conclusion,

Del turned but it was too late for her as well as another guy behind us picked her up and took her into the stall, there was one other guy with him and they took her close to the wall, tied her hands then hooked her to a hanging block and tackle, one of the guys pulled on the rope and her arms were lifted over her head,
one of the guys knelt down in front of her and pulled down her shorts, she seemed to be struggling but I noticed that as he got her shorts to her feet she lifted her leg voluntarily so that he could get them off, he put his hands round her... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 245  |  
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The Party!!

She was beautiful, tall for a female for she was around six feet; with the most gorgeous pair of legs he had ever seen. Her hair was long enough to cover her breasts and tickle the bottom of her rib cage with the ends of it; her hair was thick, glossy, and the color of milk chocolate. God how he wanted to run his fingers through it and feel it brush against his skin like a blanket of the finest silk. Yet, as beautiful as her body was, it was her eyes that captured, and held, him. They were a deep forest green with a dark ring of gray around the pupils. They were eyes that boldly met his own ba... Continue»
Posted by spudrico27 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 245  |  
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The death of me on the sunset strip by Romance666

a short story by Romance666
coming in from the hot dusty weather, Jamie lifted the canteen over her head water poured over her long black loosely curled hair making it cling to her rock hard body underneath her army green wife beater and gun belt hanging from her shoulder. Zombie brains washed down to the floor and floated down the stream on the concrete. What's for dinner bitch? she jokingly says to Lucy, Lucy had stayed home to cook a dead dog they found on the street on a scavenger hunting mission they did earlier, Jamie had brought back a box of baby wipes and pine sol. not really a larg... Continue»
Posted by Romance666 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 244  |  
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Deviant

I have to be fast any second it can change the whole motion and I will be out off sync. I turn over and move myself in a position it will be easy to go deep just the way I like.

When I push hard in one thrust as deep as I can and in the meanwhile reaching out for the breast to grab the nipple I know this will make the difference so I can penetrate all the way, even it will hurt for just a second.

I stick high up my curved ass towards his stiff cock to feel him going even deeper, I moan loud if he squeezes my left breast and pulling my swollen nipple.

The sensation of feeling the tip o... Continue»
Posted by Ablon 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 243  |  
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1 nite passion

me being da dj n at my party was djing most the night sow these sexy lokkin chicks evrywere but this 1 she looked at my eyes gave me da fck me look looking up n down at me sorta thing like anyways im drimnking smoking having a gd time then this gawjus looking gal comes upto me and ses if u do a shot of tiquila i will get off with u so i sed y not then thois gawjus gal starts sexy kissin me on the couch wee cant stop kissing she grabs my hand takes me to my room so we doing the sexykissin n she puts me straight agenst da wall she den kisses down my chest unbuttoning my zib she then puts her ... Continue»
Posted by bigben69er 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 242  |  
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It's All About Sex (Honestly)

I saw this on someone else page and they're always interesting so I figured what the hell...



What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
Lips, but I enjoy being kissed all over...

What’s your favorite color lingerie?
Personally, I don't wear it, however, black or red, if it's on a lady...

What color panties are you wearing?
Blue Boxers, not into ladies underwear, unless it'#s on a lady...lol...

What’s your favorite sexual position?
Woman on top...

Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
Whipped cream, defo...

Do you prefer sex beneath the sheets or o... Continue»
Posted by muttleyh 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 242

Five Games - Short Story

Virginia Ross, 21, unemployed, would like to be a ..., but the men in town are all too familiar or then too ugly. So she has always an eye on the good-looking tourist that appear from time to time. And even when her game of seducement isn't always working out, in her erotic fantasies she never looses a good hanky-panky. Here is her favourite one:

I'm just hanging in the half-empty hotel bar, I'm sipping my last beer as this handsome young tourist suddenly comes in. He spots me instantly and offers me a drink. I'm very grateful and offer, to play a game of pool with him. I'm very good at p... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 241  |  
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my new life...part 7

'niether is he! 'alexandras master yells.alexandra and i turn to see our beloved masters.' master!' we shout.'dont get so full of yourself leon' james laughed'same to you cathrine' said kiki. james walks up to me and puts the gun to my head.'tisk tisk,i still cant belive you threw it all away.' james sighed. james slowly reloaded the gun,wich was already loaded, to give it more power.he put it back to my head.'NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!DONT HURT HER!!!' alexandra scremt thrashing about in his bonds.' HA! isnt this sweet!alexandra has fallin in love with her!HA!'james laughed.kiki laughed her gun pointed ... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 242  |  
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A Lunchbreak

(Mark rushes home to her bedroom for lunch)

Mark called home, his meeting had been canceled and he decided to come home for lunch. Of course, with an hour's drive to get home, he hoped it would actually be lunch and a whole lot more. The k**s were at school and it had been a while since him and his wife had done anything, so Mark was hopeful.

Allison knew exactly how to serve lunch, and it had very little to with cooking or food. Fully aware of the opportunity, she changed out of her everyday clothes, noticing how firm her nipples already were and seeing the tell-tale damp spot in her pa... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 240  |  
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my first

Srinu mera naam, meri middle class f****y me mom, dad, didi sindhu
aur choti behan priyaanka(priya) ek chote se ghar me rehte the. Mom
dad dono employers the didi ki marriage ho gayi thi, priya school ke
final exam likh chuki hi. Mai ghar ke paas hi apni degree kar raha
hun, lekin kahaani sirf meri choti behan priya ki hi.
Priya ko nursery se aaj tak residencial school me hi padhaaya gaya
tha, isi kaaran sab use bohut laad karte the, f****y se door rehne se
use ghar ki tameej maloom nahi thi aur wo itni jiddi thi ki uski baat
ke saamne kuch nahi chalta tha, jitni jiddi thi utni sundar ... Continue»
Posted by akashcoool8 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 240

inside of her pt3

there bodies were drapped in a golden hue they had tattos of other woman on there bodies the images were almost alive like they could reach out and touch you see this i payed no attention to the first time because lights were off and my mind was feeled with such sexual passion that i did nt notice these things but when it came to the light i def... notice that they were different you see these were woman of the rain , of water meaning that there non existing but they are because ,i can see them ,i can smell them ,and i sure as hell can feel them so call it what you will .My Golden Godess "... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 239  |  
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jagerbomb stories pt 1

One of my favorite drinks is the jagerbomb, for those of you who never had this drink , it when you mix red bull and jager together . I know the Germans must haven taken the lost in WWII in good spirit because they made one hell of a liquor with Jagermeister. It one night and a crazy booty call to make this drink shoot to the top of my all time favorite list of drinks .

I was living back in NYC in 2008 , and I been talking to this cute dark skin latina woman , I think I meet her on tagged , or one of those social media sites . I had her cell number and talk to her about meeting up . She fin... Continue»
Posted by rudepunkfoc174 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 239  |  
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Gabriel's Story

My Husband's story. Here he goes by Gabriel because that is his profile in xhamster. This is part 1. I thought I would post it here.

Hello and thank you for stopping by.



I am Gabriel and my mission is to explore and try to understand my own sexuality and the sexuality of others, and have fun while doing that.


My very first memory of anything remotely sexual... Continue»
Posted by Gabriels-Oboe 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 239  |  
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Only the British would get this one!..............



Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

It was just After Eight.

They got off at Quality Street .

He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa.

'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied.

He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

Soon they were Heart Throbs.

It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.
... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 238  |  
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I MADE A PORN MOVIE !!

I did a porn movie just before Xmas last year! Now why would you think that anyone would want to see a sixty-six year old male doing silly things naked with two other guys? Well they do and they pay to see these things.

It was all very surreal when you consider that I went down to Bournemouth to do it; I would not consider Bournemouth to be a centre for too many things, let alone porn movies of gay old farts in full flight.

I was picked up at the railway station and in that moment I had met the cameraman, producer, director, sound man, lighting man, Foley artist, hairdresser, make up c... Continue»
Posted by AussieJonno 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 238  |  
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Dirty Tales From the Past

I enjoy when my wife talks to me about her previous experiences while we're fucking. I suspected she had an active past before she met me, but until I got her to open up, I had no idea! She tells the stories to me while she blows me or fucks me, and she tells them with many details. I lay back, listen, and feel her work me. It's almost like I was there with her when they happened.

Here's one of her many tales:

Her first black man was when she turned eighteen, just after her birthday. He was in his late 20's. She volunteered as a candy striper in a local hospital. He was an orderly. Whil... Continue»
Posted by jnc_1987 1 year ago  |  Categories: , Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 238

New Life Part 3

Part 3
"are you just about ready dear?" Linda inquired as she put the last of her face on.
"I am, sweet heart, we'd better get going or we're going to be late," Braxton retorted as he cinched his tie into place and gave it the usual wiggle to make sure we wasn't going to choke. "Alright sweetie, going to get the car, I'll be waiting for you out front." yes sir, she smirked as he fled out of the door.
She then grabbed her hand bag and made her way out of the front door, where her car and super handsome driver awaited. However just as she was about to open the door, Braxton in a flash had ... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 238  |  
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Rinku - The Party



Mohit’s (my husband) eyes almost popped out of their sockets as I stepped out from the bedroom.
I was wearing a white bikini top blouse & a shimmering silvery transparent sari which I had worn as low as possible. I had tied up my silky brown hair in a loose top knot leaving my fair smooth back bare naked except for the thin white string which held in place the two small patches of white fabric on my boobs.
He glared at me without a word.
“What’s wrong darling?” I s
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 12 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 236