Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

An 'Ode to the Cock'

'Come on, what's so terrible about a young woman love of a man's Penis?'
I personally love the feel of one, especially when it lies in my hand.
The potential it bears as it lies on my hand, drooping gently over my hand's length, watching the purplish glans become exposed as the foreskin miraculously peels back, an involuntary action, due to it's owner contemplating my excitement' and as it hardens, it's an example of positive feedback.
Soon fully erect and it rises from my hand and assumes an incredible angle, I note a single dew-drop of seminal fluid leaks from its tiny slit, I look up a... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Urgent

She reaches around and tugs him out of his boxers.
“Uh, Crowley’s Books… do you, what are ah… excuse me… what…”
“Really!” She wraps one leg around. “I used to work there. I was a leftover for a while, you know, a call-in? Fucking Simon, wanted to fucking castrate him sometimes. Does Barak still work there?”
And he’s unable to follow her words, following her smile, and strange figures emerge from her lips, a lipstick formed from the bl**d of saints and martyrs to her causes and it’s coming loose of her lip... Continue»
Posted by oluckyman 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Wasted a good cup of coffee lol

first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Taste Of Jealousy Part 1

Gym. 2:16 p.m.

"Since today you start weight training, there are a few machines that I want you to know that most of you will be trying today. Firstly, the Bicept Curls, is where you will be lifting weights, but since you are all only in grade eight, I surely hope most of you will be able to lift ten pounds," Mr. Richard said, looking at all of us while we all laughed and I grinned, elbowing my friend Shyla who yelped, rubbing her arm and giggled as I kept looking at the teacher and then at Matt, who was across the room, talking to his buddies and they laughed as his eyes turned to mine and... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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today horny?

a hot sommerday again and i also hot :
today i`m realy horny again ,
several times can feel my fat cock between my soft hairy legs ,
terribly hungry to make love , passionated long and deep with
a nice sexy and hairy natural woman , there gets wet and horny , like me .
there like to do it several times - in the morning , outdoor , when take shower or where ever we like it to do .
hungry to feel the mans hard dick and happy to feel his hotcum deep inside.....

where are you , the naughy , nyphomanic woman ,
to h... Continue»
Posted by alfisexy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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"I think I can" and I did....

_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_


I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Eating

Eating

Today is the day where we want to meet, you are ringing on the door and I open it. As greetings we kiss. Then we talk and watch a film. For that we are laying on the couch and you have your hand on my leg and my arm is around your shoulder.
The film is a kind of romantic comedy with a lot of kissing. During the watching your hand is wandering up and down my leg and remains on my dick and my hand is wandering down to your breasts and is knead it a bit. Then we kiss smoothly and we take off our shirts and I continue with your breasts. Then I take off your trouser and continue kissing ... Continue»
Posted by John9090 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Little Red

Introduction:
The true story of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.
[ N.B. This story doesn't have a proper ending. Once you get to the end, try going back to the start. Then it makes sense. ;) ]
Genre- Dark Fantasy, b********y, Cruelty, Monster, Non-consensual sex, ****, v******e, Virginity, Young



Her juices at that time of month were thick and white. One clawed finger dipped into her, lifted the sweet, honey-scented sap to his nose. He licked it off.

Her lips were trembling. ‘Please,’ the girl said brokenly. ‘Please don’t – ’

The Wolf laughed at her. ‘Little Red, Lit... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 14 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Chav lads bring in new cock for me

Jamie and Nicky turned up outside my bedroom window late one night. They wanted some fun, it was about 11pm, s****rs were in bed and parents still at work. I risked it as I was horny and snuck out of the house and went for a ride with the two bad lad studs in Nicky’s knackered but strangely sexy car.

We drove around for bit, I was sat in the back seat with Jamie and Nicky driving.

They were in their hoodie chav gear and I was wearing a tight white t shirt with hearts on it and a short white skirt. I had my hair my usual Maria style and my nose stud was in. I knew what we were doing so ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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SPENT

Time to head to the gym. Shay and I work out regularly (of course you know this if you follow her hot blog. www.thegirlform.com ) It's about a 30 min drive and we don't always get to go together.
Today was one of those days. Every morning I wake up with the Hardest Cock ever. I mean what do you expect I sl**p next to the Shay Every night. I generally rub up on her pretty good and if she feels like giving me a treat she will FUCK me right then and there. Today was not one of those days, so I left the house with a raging hard on. She Loves this! and she knows she wields the power to ma... Continue»
Posted by peanutj 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Booty Inspector of the Old West (pt. 3)

The Booty Inspector pt. 3 by markfayer

“Freaky Felatio Foursome”


Dick and his intrepid Lieutenant, junior, had no sooner arrived at the Barnaby’s Circus Fairgrounds when they spied the performers’ ring of campers set about in a cozy circle, creating a small common open space for the freaks and Acrobats and other members of the Freak Parade.
“Alright, Dick, what’s our plan of Attack?” quipped Junior.
“Well…I figgur we just waltz into the Boxler b*o’s trailer, give them an offer they caint refuse—by which I mean they get to fornicate with our Nubian Amazons-in-tow in a no... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 1 year ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Samantha's Breezy Shorts - The Fart-namic Duo

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Where's your partner to save you now, Buttsniff-Girl?!"
The mischievous madam of mayhem, Evilina, taunted her prisoner with a shrieking chuckle.

"She'll get here soon, and when she does,
you'll be sorry you ever tangled with The Fart-namic Duo!"
The beautiful Buttsniff-Girl replied in deviance.

Evilina and her gorgeous female goons had Buttsniff-Girl tied up to a chair in the middle of the backroom of Windy City Central's newly opened Museum of Digestion.

Evilina was wearing her purple and black striped costume with thigh-high black leather boots
and with a purp... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Party Mood


“What’s this?

Igot shouted waving the letter at his wife Her-Peas. She could see it looked official but as she hadn’t read it, couldn’t tell what it was even though her husband was wafting it around like some demented swan trying to take off.

“I don’t know dear, she smiled

“It’s only a letter from Pen.E. Sillen and Aunty Biotics they are planning to marry. It’s a big enough disgrace to the f****y that she married that Biotics bloke but a Sillen.

Igot was pacing up and down. He very rarely became ruffled and was normally a very smooth operator. That was one of the reasons Her-... Continue»
Posted by Cybertease 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Smurfette's Absolution part1

Not my Story...credit to unknown author
Chapter1

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else

Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters

The annoying pounding onmyfront door just as morning came around was enough to wake me from myslumber, I heardBabySmurf cry from the rude awakening. I scrambled out of bedand rushed to the front door, a bit steamed from the banging. When I openedit, I saw a smurf staring at me with lovestruck eyes, he heldupsome flowers that appear to be freshlypicked.

"Hi Smurfette," he said in a lovely tone, "Can we goout on a... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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a foxtail in como

so... a friend & i wrote this for another friend's b-day. she wrote the clean stuff & i wrote the smut & yes, a date w/Costner is like that.

A Foxtail in Como

or...

George Clooney is the biggest dick in hollywood, and he proved it in Taylor's ass.

by Mrs. Face
and
roxxanna valencya

It was a glorious spring day in lake country. The light breeze cast ripples over the bright blue water making it sparkle in the sunlight. Taylor and “Giorgio” (as the locals called him) were enjoying an afternoon bike ride through the village of Bellagio after spending a lazy morning at Clooney... Continue»
Posted by roxxanna 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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RECIPE: HOW TO MAKE LOVE




Ingredients:


4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 soft, warm mixing bowl
1 Firm banana


Directions:


1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 17

The Italian Job 17
A few days later Ellie came to see me at my apartment, this was truly a royal visit as she had never been before and I got the feeling that she was checking to see if I had got anyone entrenched that she might see as a threat to her private domain, she wandered around, looking at all of my stuff, “Maria came to see me” she commented whilst browsing my books,
I made no comment, I reckoned if she wanted to tell me she would “wanted to know if she could have her job back” she said, now I was curious but determined to hold out so still no comment “how do you feel about that?”... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true slut gave to me
A virgin so very horny

On the second day, she gave me two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

Now on the third day of Christmas, that ol' bitch, she brought home three French whores
Two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

Now on the fourth day of Christmas, four calling girls
Three French whores
Two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

On the fifth day of Christmas she brought me home somethin' special
She brought me home somethin' special
Five herpie seeds
Four calling girls
Three French whores
Two peck... Continue»
Posted by snakeman 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Past of the Great Takuri and his Gift

January 30. 2012
This is my first Journal entry. Why do people write a journal? Probably because they’re lonely. But I, the great Takuri, or at least that’s what I’m calling myself these days, am never lonely. No I’m writing this journal so that other people can see, can read what great things I’ve done and where I’ve erred. It feels like I’m writing the truth. As a magician I spent my whole life living in illusions, bending the truth both to the audience but also to my humble self, now it feels like I can finally tell the whole story, you can’t go to somebody who you are manipulating and tel... Continue»
Posted by shanina 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy Fairytale part 7

Kristen awoke, her arms aching from being tied above her head. She was in some kind of dungeon setting, but when she tried to scream... she couldn't from the gag in her mouth. Standing mostly upright, she found that her ankles were tied apart, so that her thighs were spread and her pussy and her ass were vulnerable.

Then suddenly, the b**st stepped in front of her and she stopped struggling... he was huge! At least six and a half feet tall, with broad, strong shoulders and muscles that rippled with every movement. He was also totally naked and between his legs swung a very large cock. Krist... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 11 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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