Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 109
My Husband's story. Here he goes by Gabriel because that is his profile in xhamster. This is part 1. I thought I would post it here.
Hello and thank you for stopping by.
I am Gabriel and my mission is to explore and try to understand my own sexuality and the sexuality of others, and have fun while doing that.
My very first memory of anything remotely sexual... Continue»
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It combines candy, monsters, horror movies, ancient pagan rituals, booze, partying all night, fake bl**d, and hot girls in sexy costumes. On top of everything else, Halloween, a night given over to fun, fantasy, and revelry, is by far the sexiest holiday of them all (shove off Valentine's Day).
I always use October as a chance to revisit my favorite monster movies, the glorious black and white classics like Dracula, The Wolfman, The Mummy, and my favorites, Frankenstein and the even better Bride of Frankenstein. Now, Doctor Frankenstein had a bright idea, ... Continue»
After I Die I Want to Come Back as A Lesbian - Maybe
I love pussy! It's my favorite food! I don't just LOVE pussy; I ADORE it! I even love the WORD "pussy!" I love to look at it; I love to think about it; I love to touch it and to feel it and to kiss it and lick it and rub my nose in it. Anyone who has one is my kind of person! This is why I once had the thought that after I die I would LOVE to come back in my next life as a lesbian!
Lesbians seem to have SOOOOO much fun with each other. They can do most of the things that guys can do for them, and they can do them BETTER because... Continue»
Short of walking in on your wife or girlfriend doing unspeakable things with another dude, there's no foolproof way to know if she's cheating on you. But there are clues — thing is, you probably don't notice any of them.
But we know two guys who do — in fact, it's their job. Between them, Christopher Paoletti, president of Infidelity Investigations LLC, and Tony DeLorenzo, co-author of The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse, they have about 45 years of experience hunting down cheaters. So we asked them to tell us what sort of behavior is a tip of that a woman might be cheating on you.
I am way to scared to go dogging and can be a bit shy to go to gay venues but I have needs and as a sub bottom I really do need to be comprehensively shagged; the more often the better.
Some time ago I went to a 'north' London sauna once and when I walked in the door the fellow at the counter asked me if I realised it was a Gay sauna. I am a very straight looking guy and if you thought I was gay you may say a very dominant top, but the truth lies elsewhere.
I told the young fellow that I realised what the establishment provided and after the payment of the obligatory £14 I went in.
Kristen awoke as the sun was coming through the leaves of the trees... she felt completely refreshed, and rather glad to be so well-clothed.
As she walked along, she found a little side-path that led to a stream... thinking it would be nice to take a bath, Kristen stripped off her peasant-girl outfit that she'd gotten from the b**st's castle and climbed in. Splashing and playing she almost felt like an entirely new person!
Suddenly, the whinny of a horse made her turn around... and she gasped. The most beautiful man she'd ever seen in her entire life was atop the horse, in fine glitterin... Continue»
Theatrical … 2
You remember at the end of “Theatrical” how I told you that I had not seen the guy from the theatre since he fucked me in the disabled toilets and how much he meant to me, how I had been looking out for him, well!! I’ve seen him again,…… yes!!, in the city with his wife, I was walking through one of the arcades and I spotted him in front, he is really easy to notice because he is so tall, well my heart stopped when I realised it was him but then I thought “how can I make him see me, maybe he has been looking for me, I have got to make him see me, make eye contact” so I turned... Continue»
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject
turned to getting older. The first guy said "Women have all the luck
when it comes to getting older."
"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.
"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I got
aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"
"Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.
"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd
get these terrible headaches." he answered. "Now that we're older, she
hasn't had a headache in years."
We rested awhile, lying in the soft grass under a warm spring sun. It was my idea of a perfect place to fuck. I imagined how going to this place as a teen would have made me grow up a very different person.
Soon, we started the walk back toward camp. We stopped several times, and Max pointed out some of the interesting flowers and trees around us. At one stop, Max turned to face the side of the trail and started to pee into a bush. He held his cock casually in one hand and just let it flow.
“I wish I could do that,” I commented. I really had to pee. “I shoulda gone before w... Continue»
Mary had a little skirt
Which split up either side
And everywhere that Mary went
The boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt
Which split right up the front
And everywhere that Mary went
The boys (& girls) could play with her CUNT... Continue»
Kent held his book in one hand and sc****d dirt off the side of his sneaker with a stick he held in the other. Deciding to read his assigned chapter on a bench in front of the English building on the nicest day of the year was a big mistake, Kent thought. Waaaaaaaaaaay too easy to get distracted out here.
A deep purr caught Kent’s ear and grew louder as an old pick-up truck rounded the corner and slid into one of the student parking spaces. Dried mud was splattered across the entire truck like it was a mobile Jackson Pollack canvas. Kent trained his eye on the vehicle as the driver’s door ... Continue»
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else
Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters
I didn't went outside for anything for the entire day, I stayed indoors and shut myself awayfrom the outside world. I was so hurt that I couldn't thinkstraight, I couldn't listen, nor do I wanna speakto anybody. It felt like the worldhad ended for me and my life is over. Luckily Rachael stayed by my side during the entire day, she only leaves if she needs to use the bathroom, or take me tothe bathroom.
Papa Smurf finally found out about what happenedand stopped by ... Continue»
This was actually a song writing attempt from the 90's...hence the odd form...
I Wish I Knew
Where did you come from, who are you?
Where do you live, what do you do?
Did we share a bottle, did we share a drink?
Did we discuss what each of us think?
But you're lying next to me all the same,
I just wish I could remember your name.
How did you get here, did you drive your car?
Or did we meet in that corner bar?
Did I walk you home, did I hold the door?
Did you find me interesting or another bore?
But you're lying next to me all the same,
I just wish I could rememb... Continue»
Brief sex 03 - Sex on the circuit
3 brief sex
Quick fuck on the circuit
I love cars, speed and motorsport. When I was younger I would run a few rallies, but mostly hill climbs and then came the great era of fol'car races on dirt, not the stock not matter competitors to type .. it goes f *** e sometimes but never direct attack .. is of the race .. speed.
As in other disciplines .. a lot of women come to see .. I know they like the atmosphere that are the guys to battle it's amazing but true .. and a lot of pretty girls roam the stands. This weekend's a pretty little brunette ... Continue»
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your c***dren are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
•It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
•It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
•It can also be used as an adje... Continue»
It isn't easy but you can't bring yourself to go back for her. You know if you do then you're both screwed. Still, you can't bear to just completely abandon her so you duck behind a large fallen log and wait.
Just as you thought, in seconds Trina and her three team mates come bursting into the clearing where they spot Melissa, helplessly lying on the ground.
"Well, well, well," Trina muses, "look what we have here." The other girls surround her and Trina turns to face the woods, "Come out, Cam, I know you're nearby!"
"Let's just go look for him, forget about this whore," interjects ... Continue»
Ménage A Trois by Ghipster
“Our cocks are no bigger than white men’s cock”. I shouted to the applauding audience of the university’s Jr. KKK Fraternity “And I speak for all black men everywhere, when I say,
THANK YOU! Thank you for this flattering but preposterous myth. And they say white folks ain’t done nothing for us. Ha!”
This unbelievable line of bullshit yielded me a standing ovation and an session of signing autographs afterwards. Little did anyone know, I did the whole lecture strictly on a dare from my pot-head roommates. But such was the life back in the glory days of coll... Continue»
Her name is Elisa Grumway and although she may look like a Supermodel she is anything but.
She drinks to much, smokes cheap cigars and eats more McDonalds than a long haul trucker and yet she has an amazing figure. When asked how she pulls it off she always answers:
"Good Genes and lots of Running"
Elisa is a Bail Enf***ement Officer aka Bounty Hunter.
You may ask how a Woman who looks like so stunning and should be prancing down a Catwalk in Milan fell into the Hunting game, well it all began Two years earlier.
After being "dismissed" from a brief stint as Mrs. Cluck (a cos... Continue»
Continued on from my story.
so christmas has come and gone.
It was a rather hectic one. 24-27th of christmas at my parents house and the 27th-30th was at my darling bappys. so many good memories. so much to catch up on eh.
over the christmas period i'd come to realize all relationships were based around sex even if they say it doesn't. women use it for their own advantage, men use it as a release of pressure and its been proven in my relationship recently. christmas came with a strawberry flavour and some dirty talk driving the parents to leaving the house as soon as they heard the b... Continue»