Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

A Little R&R

A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.

As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Posted by elvinmagick 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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From Russia with love ;)

OK, This is my First true story Sex adventure and there will be more ;)

So one of my friends named Sona messages me one day saying shes going to a club in the city and she wanted to know if her and some of her friends can sl**p over. So obviously me being a guy, I'm like yeah sure as long as I can get some enjoyment out of it ;). She (Being super prude lol) says she doesn't wanna wanna be eattin' out because she doesn't wanna complicate our friendship. But she said she was bring to friends so I was allow to get some action out of them ^_^. One was a girl I've already met named Janna who nev... Continue»
Posted by BBCbeast 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Mermaid - Short Story

Johnny Stout, 33, a life-long bachelor and a plumber by trade, is a very cheeky one: His element is the water and his love belongs to the mermaids of the deep! And whenever he dreams on his water bed at night his wet fantasies dive into the unexplored caverns hidden under the surface, the disturbed matress gurgling the sound track to his emotions:

Like in all those steaming hot summer nights when I can't find any sl**p I go for a refreshing swim. Quietly I climb over the fence of the local pool and listen out for noise. There is somebody already in the warm water, floating around at the f... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Secret Affair

There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.

Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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That particular morning

Everyday I'd wake up around 7 am and take my morning dump, usually I'd read the newspaper sometimes I'd only have time for a quick one so it was a hastily achieved f***ed one, kind of dump that just shoots straight out which isn't fun when it's not solid as it covers the bowl like that time at my mother-in-laws when I forgot to flush after eating some bad fish.

Any who.

After my dump my wife (Gazzel) would have breakfast waiting for me at about 07:45-08:00, she'd always cook me something good like fried food with a side bowl of healthy cereal which I had the choice to eat but never did ... Continue»
Posted by TheShalong 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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As I fucked slut

This slut I saw when she left the store. She was twenty years old. She unsuccessfully catching a taxi. I approached her from behind, and that there are f***es punched her in the head. This bitch has fallen to the ground, and I climbed on her and began to fuck on the street. She began to cry:
"Oh, Fuck, Fuck me!" I've never fucked. Fuck "
Its by a dick I broke her hymen. And she screamed, "Fuck, Fuck."
I felt that I wanted to finish. I turned this whore to her face, and finished it on the snout. She was licking my cum from his snout.
"Give me your phone&qu... Continue»
Posted by Sexual_Maniac 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sex on omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: Hey


You: hi


You: asl ?


Stranger: 15 f usa


Stranger: U?


You: 16 m france


You: are you sexy ?


Stranger: Yeah


Stranger: U?


You: tall, athletic body with 6 packs and blue eyes


Stranger: umm yeah ur sexy


Stranger: I'm shot, thin, athletic, blue eyes, blonde hair, and tan


Stranger: Short*


You: hmm you're sexy too


Stranger: Thanks


You: so have you a bf ?


Stranger: No


You: so you masturbate ?


Stranger: Yeah


You: how much o... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P2)

Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.

The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Findxpartner-How To See Ur Friend Naked Pics

People, ever found a small glance of your findxpartner friends bosom while she bent low to choose something up?

Ever wanted you could have seen more? Of course..

If you have a companion who has relationship a magnificent looker, you would be inclined to imagine about your buddy's attractive time frame undressed too.

We want to see it more than ever. But more often than not, possibilities will come banging on your entrance if you can just understand to be on the lookout at the right time.

Spending a day out with your buddies at an alone identify, where in addition, there's a ... Continue»
Posted by carolwilliams 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Susanna Francessca, stunning glamour model

Guys, this is another story that’s been sent to me about people who’ve photographed Susanna Francessca. Thanks again for these stories.

“I photographed Susanna Francessca. What a sexy girl she is. It was with a friend of mine called Steve Hopkins. Steve had photographed Susanna before, maybe a year ago and he’d showed my his pictures of Susanna showing her tits and pussy, Steve was into motorbikes and we arranged to photograph Susanna on one of his bikes in a deserted quarry, near where he lived. Steve had phoned Susanna at her studio in Warwick and arranged where we should meet.
... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Marcus

What happened was this!

Alana Wicks was a divorcee in her late thirties. She’d travelled the distance from trophy wife to yummy mummy through to beautifully groomed, well toned divorcee: and a thoroughly bored one at that. She was a tall, very good looking woman with a terrific figure – the gym and swimming saw to that, a mane of wavy blonde hair topped a very attractive picture. Her daughter Zoe was very much like her mother in appearance, but, to put it bluntly, rather dim! She had met Marcus at a disco in town. And she’d had sex with him within an hour of meeting h... Continue»
Posted by Whispa 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Great car Mate! - A tale of Tea, Biscuits and som


I’ve told you about my fuck buddy and our first adventure with another guy, here is a tale of a very unusual dogging experience up at Wisley.
We arrived quite late one night and parked up in the cafe car park, both of us climbed into the back and started to kiss and cuddle as you do, I’m quiet keen to start removing her clothes as well as mine!
I’m down to my underpants and she is now just in her basque and stockings I’ve loosen her shoulder straps and sucking on her firm tits and tonguing her hard nipples, she has such wonderful tits and I can’t leave them alone, I take a peek outside an... Continue»
Posted by flashgit 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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risky toolshed sex with the chavs

well last night i was watching football when i get a knock at the window. its the chav crew. its jason, nicky and jamie. anyway they want to come in. the house was empty so i let them in

They want a shag off me so i said ok, anyway the car comes up the drive its the f****y so i quicky get them out of the house through the window.

anyway as i do that jamie and nicky leg it over the wall. jason however just hides. i go to door open it and then go see f****y into house. i say im just getting a drink of mountain dew out of the shed. we keep some pop in there along with other tinned stuff( ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Strange Relationship – Chapter 2 (Version 3)

(Author's note: this is an early version of a much longer erotic novel. It's been through a lot of edits, but I really like some of the early versions that got canned. I hope you don't mind me reproducing them here. Of all the stories I've written - which is a lot! - Caitlin is one of my favourite creations, and I'm always looking to giver her greater exposure, as are the men (and women) in her life! You can follow her continued adventures in the different versions of the story called "Strange Relationship")


Standing at the bar, sipping a iced die... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 6 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Men Jokes

One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," replied Adam.
"Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
"OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?"
"I only gave you enough bl**d to operate one at time."

Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

How can you ... Continue»
Posted by TeenieR 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A slight problem.

This is a story that is both part fiction and part truth.

You see, the thing is, I am something of a masochist. I like pain. Now, I'm not into the hardcore stuff like taking jumper cables to the sack or being stomped on by stiletto heels. I just like the light stuff, maybe some smacking around, hair pulling, and some of that. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a fema... Continue»
Posted by SinSeeker 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Company With Men!

Diane, a former prostitute wants to escape away from her abusing
pimps and other men. She wants to change her life around to become a
better person. Diane wants to go back to school, and get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has a curvy shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Diane’s
hip is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day Diane have an interview for a job, Diane wore a short mini
skirt (you co... Continue»
Posted by Darkpussy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Mary's Furtive Fetish

Mary was feeling a little worried. She was due to go to college in a couple weeks, which meant she had to move into the dorms.

"Can't I still commute from home?" Mary asked her parents.

"Oh no!" They said, "You wouldn't be getting the full college experience." They explained.

"Well," Mary tried, "Can I at least have a single dorm? How will I have any privacy if I share room with someone?"

"That's more expensive," They said, "And unnecessary, you'll make more friends and socialize more if you share a room with someone."

Mary valued her privacy and alone time. She was a straigh... Continue»
Posted by ifm 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Ranam Muscle Pump

Ranma muscle Pump
By lilguy4174@yahoo.com lilguy4174@yahoo.com
Nabiki finds a pump that can pump up muscle


Writer note-

This was a commission I did


This tales doesn't start in an ancient land, or far of galaxy. It starts in a
small off town in the country of Japan, but it story would effect the world.
It was an ordinary sunny day and no one thought that this day will change
people lives. Nabiki was walking into Nerema School walking down the hallway

"She here ... she here" A small man said looking down the hallway. He was
using a tube from paper tower roll as a telescope ... Continue»
Posted by lilguy41 9 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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A Shortie for Susan - Part 2

Bindi
Andy was in the shower stroking his cock, remembering the amazing fuck with his Math Tutor Bendy Bindi yesterday afternoon. In his imagination he could still feel her hot thighs pressing into his arse and her hands pinning back his ankles as she took him in the Amazon position. Just when he couldn’t imagine it getting any hotter, Susan his step-mum appeared in the shower, standing behind him, pressing her tits into his back and gripping his slippery cock.

“What are we going to do with you, you naughty boy? I bet you’re thinking about fucking that Indian slut Bindi again. Well ... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 5 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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