Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

Favorite Fantasies #3



The scene is a one-room schoolhouse, somewhere out West.
The teacher is about my age, thirty-five, or even older. But she is
a virgin, a frustrated old maid. She has kept one of the pupils
after school, a strong, six-foot-tall boy who isn’t too bright. She
goes through a stern lecture with him about how he’s not been
paying attention during class, etc. She asks him two or three
tough questions, and when he can’t answer says she’s going to
have to punish him. She tells him to take down his pants; he’s
embarrassed but ... Continue»
Posted by hard_for_yu 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Stuff about me (anime)

I like anime, you know those japanese cartoons that are all the rage with those fringe types of society. I think it's great most of the time, I love the stories, I love the characters, and I love the art styles.

some of my favorites are:

Cowboy bebop, yes I'm one of those where this can't go anywhere but the top, It's great, I started watching it on adult swim and now I own the DVD's. It turned me on to getting a taste for jazz, and queens. I've identified deeply with different characters, and I love the thought of being a space cowboy.

"Trigun/Hellsing", with Trigun I love the cyber... Continue»
Posted by Blueballs4ever 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Fucked 2 - The Great Rock N Roll Orge

Fucked 2 - The Great Rock N Roll Orgy [part 2 of 2]
By: Jo Jo (joanne.erotic@gmail.com)

Fucked 2 - The Greatest Rock N Roll ORGY of all Time

Well... bestest one I have ever been to anyway.

This follows on from Fucked, and concerns the party that followed the
dissolution of that band.

It was held in a very impressive apartment overlooking the canal system
in the centre of Birmingham. It was above some sort of gym/spa and took
up the entire floor.

The band, as I mentioned before , was Mike , Paul, Niecey , Julie, Ray
and of course Derek.

Also at the bash, 4 or 5 te... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 11 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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wow omegle delirium....... whatever fits everyone



Επιλογή γλώσσας ▼
18,703 strangers online
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
How many penises does your ideal mate own?

You: ????
Stranger: um...
You: i cant really get that
You: i ll say 20
Stranger: too little
Stranger: 50
You: i am raising my bid to 70
Stranger: 90
You: 100
Stranger: 150
You: oh i cant beat that u win
You: 150 1
You: 150 2
You: 150 3
You: the ideal mate goes to stranger 2
Stranger: yaay
Stranger: *feels proud*
Stranger: in your face sucker I won
You: fuck
You: i lost
Stranger: now what wil... Continue»
Posted by virgin20yearold 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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sexy story



We start out at this beautiful italian restaurant called Angelinas... small place with a relaxing atmosphere. Perfect for two... siping wine at a candle lit diner we barely eat due to the scintillating conversation.... I ask if ur ready to continue the night to which u agree and we stroll down to the car and make our way back. 

 The ride is a little awkward at first due to the fact we both have an idea whats to come... so I crack a lame joke to break the tension and entertaining conversation resumes.. 

  We pull up to the house and I ask if ud like company for the night.. please  u s... Continue»
Posted by iamkenny 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore  |  
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Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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You Know Your Fetishes Have Gone Too Far When...

1. You have a lawnmower repair company on speed dial.

2. Double #1 if they offer 24 hour emergency service.

3. There is a sudden drop in the local sheep population and you can't seem to explain all the bl**dy wool in the house.

4. You go to the local dog park to get dates. And maybe meet some people, too.

5. Oil trucks make weekly deliveries to your home, even though you have gas heat.

6. Hardware store clerks know better than to ask "What sort of project is this for?"

7. You browse through small appliances looking for "inspiration."

8. You have a lifetime ban from dog sho... Continue»
Posted by JerseyWBull 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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25 ANNIVERSARY JOKE

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A walk along the promenade.

The morning sun was hot and sultry that moring back in 1951 as I walked along the promanade, the holiday makers were sat taking in the sun, in front of me was a woman in her mid forties, she wore a fashionable skirt of the day a tan coloured front button which reached down to her calfs, she also wore a white blouse with ruffled neck and cuffs, as the sun caught her I could see what appared to be a wide bra strap through the material, suddenly as I watched her walk in her black botties with high heels her ankle apeared to go over and she fell lightly to the ground, I rushed over and helped her ... Continue»
Posted by jackones311 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Strange Relationship – Chapter 2 (Version 3)

(Author's note: this is an early version of a much longer erotic novel. It's been through a lot of edits, but I really like some of the early versions that got canned. I hope you don't mind me reproducing them here. Of all the stories I've written - which is a lot! - Caitlin is one of my favourite creations, and I'm always looking to giver her greater exposure, as are the men (and women) in her life! You can follow her continued adventures in the different versions of the story called "Strange Relationship")


Standing at the bar, sipping a iced die... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Watching Me Watching You - Strange Relationship Ve

Tuesday; the morning after the lunch before. I’m still tingling from my encounter with my boyfriend’s son, but thankfully it’s balanced by the headache that the same encounter also left me with. What I really needed was a nice quiet day at work, I had a hundred simple tasks that I could do that would take my mind off everything. The last thing I needed was to get an email from Ben.

It said simply this:

Log into the instant chat messenger.

Not even signed. I knew it was from him of course, not least because his name appeared in the sender column, but it was also recog... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Fucked 3: The Abbey

There is nothing remotely remarkable about this story, two consenting adults of the opposite sex -
albeit with quite an age gap - but basically just two co workers fucking in a hotel room. It was, for
whatever reason REALLY erotic, so I just hope I can tell the story well enough to put it across:

In the stories Fucked and Fucked2 I ended up having a romp with my 19 - years - older colleague, Derek,
and his on/off girlfriend the GORGEOUS Elaine, and then (in Fucked 2) I just Fucked everybody else.

This was the first time Derek and I had actually been 'one on one'.

We were on ... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 9 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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جلنار جردلي Jilnar Jardaly and the Pirates

A warm, gentle breeze blew across Jilnar Jardaly's sexy bikini-clad body, caressing her completely hairless skin, which was as smooth as silk and as gold as honey. She loved nothing more than chartering a private yacht on the beautiful Pacific Ocean, nor did two of her closest girlfriends who had come to enjoy the Caribbean getaway with her. It was just the three girls together, along with the yacht's owner and captain, a local girl named Elly, who was every bit as hot and gorgeous as Jilnar and her two beautiful fellow television media celebrity girlfriends, Basinah and Fahada.

They were a... Continue»
Posted by JilnarJardalyLustCum 1 month ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Best way to help people avoid d**gs.

Final Solution for d**g addicts with proven logistic at no cost
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHuejScFZsM
Please open this video and you will like it for you and your friends.... Continue»
Posted by paulbequi 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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NYMPHOCOM - ch 03

(I was inspired by a story I found somewhere on the net, it was called "Sam's fall from grace", I don't know the author but thanks a lot to him for the great story)

Chapter 3 - the AJHAB feature


I did not sl**p well that night. I was having nightmares about my close encounter with death. Julie and I were just incredibly lucky to not have been caught by her muscular boyfriend. Thanks to her quick reaction and also to the fact that her boyfriend was probably exhausted from his football match I made it safely out of her apartment. But what would have happened if he had come home five mi... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Pussy Worship

Here is my story to answer a curious person on my blog at ifounddaddy.tumblr.com:

smallwhiteguy asked: yeah i think u should let your friend your worship your pussy and how is your friend going to worship your pussy? did the guy fuck u really good? [He is referencing another guy I fucked earlier that day in the second question.]


Me: Thanks for keeping my tumblr fresh with some stories I might not have told, and drawing all the details out. You are in for some loooong answers.

Well, turns out that I did see my friend. How does he worship it, well, he starts by letting... Continue»
Posted by Missy_X 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Just some crazy stuff

FUCKING: two or more people engaging in sex, without having any meaning
Fuck in its literal meaning refers to the act of sexual intercourse. It is an English word that is almost universally considered vulgar. It is often used as a profanity, either to denote disdain or as an intensifier

SLUT: Something I like to be....a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals

WHORE: Something I'm not, but to some people I am...a prostitute or promiscuous woman
I do not take money for sex, but sometimes I wonder if I should...I'd love to have my own place, so t... Continue»
Posted by loloishorny 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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USS INTERPRIK a Sex Trek story (2012 by Salmacius)

This story is similar to other one You can see and is set like the cinema of the saga of "Star Trek" - so imagine in practice the same customs and the same atmosphere - and it's the story of an interplanetary voyage, with a few differences ... . that this will never find the movie or the text of it.

Chapter 1) THE DEPARTURE

It describes the journey of the "USS INTERPRIK" - starship ship in the same class as the best known "USS ENTERPRISE", but this is more modern and spacecraft that made a mysterious journey, a secret mission which for various reasons never ended for be described elsewhe... Continue»
Posted by salmacius 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Sex Life of an Electron

by Eddy Current

One night, when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try to
get a cute little coil to let him discharge. He picked up Millie Amp and
took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across the wheatstone
bridge around by the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing
current.


Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curves, soon had his
resistance at a minimum and his field fully excited. He laid her on the
ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered her capacitance, and pulled
out his high voltage probe. He inserted it ... Continue»
Posted by vstein 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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"Mostly" Ghostly: The Summarised Ending

I've written myself into a corner with this story and can't seem to find a way out so here's the plot in a nutshell.

Jack and Regan continue to grow closer and eventually fall in love. Regan wants so desperately to be with Jack that she attempts suicide by overdose. Jack sees what he's doing to Regan and decides to leave so she can move on.

Two years later Regan is now Engaged to a man she met at work named Kyle.

Jack is a wandering spirit who suddenly finds himself drawn back to town. It turns out that he wasn't dead at all just a disembodied spirit. When they pull the plug on his... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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