Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 108

Chrissys proposal (sequel to nude beach dream)

I had to swallow hard when my dream came back to me with a flash. I stood at the door for a few seconds before I could compose myself and invite her in. This wasn’t the Chrissy I remembered. The Chrissy I remembered was a young girl that loved to come visit me and play with my two cats. Sometimes she would stop just outside the front garden on her little bicycle and watch the kittens. Yes, it was that long ago.

This was a different Chrissy. She was about 175 and it looked like her long blonde hair came down half of that. She was wearing a thin summer dress that reached just above her knees.... Continue»
Posted by MorePeter 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Realease the Krakken

This is actually a completely random post. I was talking with my a friend the other day, and he reminded me of something I did at a party a while back. I used to go to parties and get completely trashed when I was in high school. And I had this ex Abi, who was a total control freak, but very atractive, she was 5'4, mix of mexican and caucasion, very smoothe skin, long black hair, big doe eyes, perky b cup size, and a very tight ass. one thing I hated was that she would tease and lead me on but never actually do anything. After a few months of blue balls, we broke up and went our separated ways... Continue»
Posted by dick_masscock 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Facebook Dating Tips To Attract Girls

Tip #1 - Fix your Profile

Look at your FB Profile. What does it say about you? A girl that doesn't know you yet - what kind of image will she create about you when she checks your Profile? Think about it. Manipulate your profile to create a more attractive image about yourself. A guy that travels, has a lot of friends and has a strong identity is much more attractive than a guy getting wasted with "the boys" and behaving like a douche. Think about what your profile TELLS about you, then work on it.

Tip #2 - Don't be an Open Book

"Open books" are guys that are, well, open books. A girl... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The English Gentleman and His American Tart

I was early in Northern England, 7am, but William sat waiting in the Manchester Airport for an International Flight from Chicago to arrive. Despite his best efforts, he was nervous. No, not nervous-nearly quaking in anticipation.

In a short time, the plane would land and she'd be here. She'd actually be here. No more texting on What's App, or sharing photos of each other over Facebook, she'd actually be standing in front of him and he felt himself terrified of how she'd react when she saw him.

It was true he was quite tall and sometimes unsure of himself, but today he'd dressed in her ... Continue»
Posted by ladysafran 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Red Light District Experience: Antwerp, Belgium

The Porn Chronicles continues following the adventures of Tyler Thomas and his sexcapades. There will be a video to come along this story, but the footage I got wasn't great so I wanted to write about it.

My travels had brought me to Antwerp, Belgium where I had found out has legal prostitution as well as a recommended Red Light District. The nice thing about it is that it's not as touristy and not near the main train station of the city, so you don't have the rowdiness that a place like Amsterdam offers. I was on a mission to find a hooker that would let me film our encounter.

... Continue»
Posted by thechronicles 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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my new life...

HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!! i screamed,as leon tackled me. 'you know better than to run from you master jewl.'he chuckled.'YOUR NOT MY GOD-DAMN MASTER , SO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!'i yelled.'well looks like my little slave-slut needs punishment'he laughed , as he picked me up and put a ball gag in my mouth.then he slung me over his shoulder,as i began to wail.he took me all the way back up the long narrow drive.when we got through the door , he didnt put me down like he normally dose. he went straight to the torture room.'tisk-tisk,today i was going to pleasure you , but now i c... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Lesley part 4

Leslie Charleston drove home with a feeling of desperation.

Three days ago she was a working class single mother of twins, devoid of any love or excitement. She lived virtually week to week to survive, and her long term ambition was her next payday just to keep her head above water. She was now embroiled with a patient of hers, who has now taken over her life and she just doesn't know which way to go.... She has just spent the day getting her body transformed in decoration to please a man she has known for approximately 60 hours.

She looked in the interior mirror of her beaten up old f... Continue»
Posted by Les1111 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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IN THE MOOD TO FUCK!!!!

ABRI JA'NAE HER NAME IS, BODY SO SILKY AND SMOOTH. OF COURSE SHE HAD ONE OF HER REGULAR DAYS SCHOOL, WORK, AND HOME.SHE WAKES UP FRM THE NAP SHE HAS TAKEN NOTICED TO SEE TIME HAS GONE BY.BRYAN COMES HOME IN NOTICES HER CLOTHES ARE THROWN ON THE FLOOR.HE QUITELY STANDS OVER HER WITH HIS 10 1/2 INCH DICK IN HER FACE, SHE OPENS HER MOUTH FOR A MIDNIGHT TREAT.GASPING FOR AIR HE HAS HIS DICK DOWN HER THROAT.SALIVA FROM HIS DICK COVERS HER MOUTH AND FACE.HE TOSS HER JUICY ROUND ASS OVER SO THAT HE CAN GET A GOOD LOOK AT HER PUSSY LIPS, OR AS SHE SAY HER MOHOGANY TREASURES!HER ASS JIGGLES SAO MUCH T... Continue»
Posted by Mahoganykisses 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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fgjghjfgjfg

My mouth was super dry
can i feel your, luscious, lips locking with mine
sweetylittle smooth pussy was saturated with her moisture
u separate my pussy lips and drove ur tongue in
plese held my breasts against ur mouth and starting sucking on them
shall i softly, caressing ur breasts.
laying on the bed, hands in her pants,
i also rarely wore a bra
stuffed her fingers into her pussy
She never wore underwear
pulling her pants off or by sticking my cock in her hand/mouth
three fingers stuffed into her pussy with one hand and was rubbing her clit with the other
walked over to me,... Continue»
Posted by kelly_hot 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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JUST A LIL SUMTHING

One evening as you were relaxing at home after work, you hear the doorbell.

I am at the door. I tell you that I am there on business having to do with the house. (I have found out that the house that you rent is going to be sold). I tell you that I have to do a quick inspection and then I will be able to refund your housekeeping deposit.

You ask for ID, which I supply and then ask me in. We sit down in the living room and I ask you about ten questions about the house.

I ask you if you could take me on a tour and answer any questions as they come up. You say yes and start to show me ar... Continue»
Posted by PoRnStAr-LaLa 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The man

There once was a man who was in love with his hand.
He sat on the can,
with his dick in his hand,
beating his meat on the porcilan seat.
"wouldn't it be sweet" he said,
"If I could simply get some head"
but insted...
He moved his fat ass from the can to the bed. ... Continue»
Posted by srryipokedyoureyeout 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A cucumber, a Penis and an Olive...!!

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.

The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."

The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bank Job

My job working for a temp agency was a lot of fun while I had it. I was
just out of college and looking for work in the film industry, and needed a
way to get myself food and shelter--a couple of luxuries I had grown
accustomed to over the years. The temp job was good for a guy in my
position--I often could pick my own hours, it never got boring (as I rarely
stayed at any one place more than a couple of weeks) and it paid pretty well,
especially since I usually got the higher paying word processing jobs. I
knew my way around computers and could do more with word processing programs
... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Waiting

"Just a moment I would like to have a smoke before bed." Walking past the screen door I stop it before it slams but she heard the creeks I hear her steps down the white carpet stairs such a woman makes noise with every movement of her light frame that old screen door opens without a peep I know that darn thing doesnt like me. "Babe can you roll me one." my reply "yes" the cream paper already in my fingers I fold in half pinch the tabbacco then roll her fag hand her my flame she lites the glow set back stands far from the night sky a quick shine in her big blue eyes. "It may storm tonight, coul... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Omegle cybering C;

Stranger: i am admiring your boobies

Stranger: and imagining myself softly pinching your nipples :P

You: :D And I can imagine myself..Maybe moaning..Mayybeee if your good enough :3

Stranger: ohhh, youll moan

Stranger: i am pushing you back by your boobs agaist the wall

Stranger: and pressing my hips to yours so you cant move

You: Oh wow, So I ended losing control...Hehe well I like your style C:

Stranger: ;)

You: What if I were to then turn the tables and kiss your neck licking down your chest and sucking on your stomach ? Would you like that, Or am I the only who wou... Continue»
Posted by UNICORN_SEX 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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A RANDOM FREESTYLE SEX POEM FRESH FROM MY BRAIN

She had no panties on and a mini skirt.
When he ate her pussy it made her squirt.
He thrust his hard-on deep inside
It felt so good she nearly cried.
"I've never been fucked quite like this,"
Then he pulled out and came on her tits.
"Oh we're not done yet; not even close.
Finger my ass hole."
"No, that's gross."... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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E-TYPE CHRISTMAS-(true event)

I HAVE TO THANK RETROLOVER, as a result of talking with him, my memory was set back to Christmas DAy morning 1980 at 0134 me and Two Work Mates who i will call "TOM and DICK" were waiting for the Staff Coach to take us home, these coaches were either 24 or 82 seter jobs normaly. TOM says "Hay whats this coming our way" Dick "no Can`t be for us shorly" along came the usual coach driver exept hes driving my boy hood dream car the E-Type Jaguar Sports Car, For those who don`t know it, a two seater, the driver had not checked-in to see if there was anyone who needed it, he was aparently just passi... Continue»
Posted by THEFORBIDDENMAN 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Action-packed Big Sexy-time, Man. Make-a You Real

So, like, there was this woman, and she had really big tits, because that’s sexy. I mean, really big tits, like, she could topple an orphanage with them, and that’s sexy. And there was this guy; he didn’t have big tits, because that’s not very sexy. And one day he was like “hey, let’s do sex” and she was all like “okay.” So they started having sex and the guy was like “oh yeah” and the girl was just lying there like a corpse because that’s sexy and then the guy was all like “ooh, you feel like my mom” and the girl was just like “uhh.”

The guy was giving it to her... Continue»
Posted by theusernameyouhaveselectedisalreadyinuse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Hopeless romantic...

Well, since this is my very first post here, I know I will be screwing something up as I go along. Please bear with me.. :)

I am always a believer of strong relationship. No matter how rocky a relationship is, love will find it's way to unite the two hearts. Many of us may have different fetishes but I am pretty sure that this is for the pleasure of the other partner. You may share your husband and wife, make them your slave or anything that you can think of, but at the end of the day, both of you will be back together sharing the same love and remembering the vows that you have exchanged t... Continue»
Posted by Killroy17 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Romance Comic Cover Stories - Chapter VII

Chapter VII – Their Armchair (based on Love Diary No. 41 cover, Orbit-Wanted, circa 1949)



I guess everyone has fantasies and fetishes, but how do you say about someone who wants to have sex in the armchair you just bought for your best friends because you felt envy of their ‘adventures’

Me and Charlotte just found this beautiful and stylish armchair as a gift for Keith and Donna, which were to move to a new house. The armchair was so awesome and fittable that we resisted till the last urge to buy it for ourselves an... Continue»
Posted by Victor2K 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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