Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 107

After Work - An erotic fantasy written by Rod Hous

It's one of your favorite bars, although you have not been here for quite a while. Lots of attractive men, especially during happy Hour. Unfortunately, that's also why there are always so many attractive women here at the same time. A lot of competition.

Still, you have had good success here in finding a partner for the evening. But tonight will be different. You will target the sexiest man here, and he will be your prize.

You have self-confidence in your appearance. You know that your young slim figure catches a man's eyes, and that you have a killer smile. Yet, you never seem to leave... Continue»
Posted by RodHouston 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The 12 Days of Christmas - The True story

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
DAY ONE:

Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift.
I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet



DAY TWO:

Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Justimagine...two turtle doves!!
I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet


DAY THREE:

My Dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one!
Now I actually must protest.
I don't deserve ... Continue»
Posted by OlGeezer 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Fifty shades of Stolkholm syndrome chapter 2 - Th


Helen got home and ran up the drive way excited, to see her parents. Her father sat in his chair pipe in hand and cloth cap looking grimly at her with a large black pudding in his hands,
“Eee by Gum a what news have you today?” he said in the least convincing Lancashire accent since Wallace and Gromit got lost there and tried not to stand out.
“Oh dad stop trying to be Northern” Helen said
“What but our roots are ‘up north we have worked for generations as …”
“As chartered accountants, face it we are as Southern as we can get with out being French Daddy and I wish you would stop it”
“... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The life drawing model and I (Based on true story)

This just happened two nights ago (I have used fake names of course though) :) .

Alex had been single for nine months and decided to join a dating website. After two weeks of a few boring dates in the city, he was requested an add by a Serbian girl named Mili one night that lived about fourty minutes away from him. He accepted her, and they chatted for awhile until the conversation went along to:

9.17pm

Mili says: So you do a lot of life drawing?
Alex says: Yes, I love it, it is my passion in life.
Mili says: I have never tried it, but I wouldn't mind...
Alex says: What, really? It... Continue»
Posted by aussieguy00000 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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About Me & Who I'm Looking For

I don't have any friends, keeps me out of trouble. I think its my lips that make me smile but i could be wrong. I'm proud I don't have a job, gives me time to help out some poor k**s that don't have a father. k**s are the ones who will be here when we are dead and we need them to be smart and do the right thing. I love helping people and being kind to anyone in need, I spend most of my time working for people for free, cause I have more money then I could spend in three life times. my dad died and left me alot of money but that's a story for some other time.
I have two cars and one truck ... Continue»
Posted by mikeporter 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Matts Adventures - April01

Bill's Adventures - April01 by Bun2bch

(mf, cons)

###

This work should only be read if it is legal for you to do so. This is a work of fiction, please do not read it if you may be offended. Comments are welcome at the above email address. Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.

This story is set in the UK where driving is legal at 17 and sex is legal at 16.

================================
I sat at the kitchen table with an envelope in my hands, on the back was printed DVLA, Swansea, SA9... Continue»
Posted by bun2bch 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The xHamster Experience

Being on xHamster for 408 days doesn’t make me a porn king or Ron Jeremy but i’m on here long enough to know that this is one to remember.

I recently realized that if i log on every day i would end up with alot of favourite video’s and photo’s. At this moment its one sexual energy explosion in my head and i can’t stop clicking on “add to favourite video’s” or “add to favourite whatever” for that matter.

Many people would categorize me as just one of the million horny “pull out my dick” kind of guy but i would beg to... Continue»
Posted by birkoffguy 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sweet Loretta Modern

Host: "Good evening. If you're just joining us, we're talking tonight with Loretta Modern, star of the new... (clears throat)... adult film 'Lady Lust'.

Loretta: "Good evening."

Host: "So, tell us, Loretta, do you really enjoy your work, or are you just fake fucking for the camera?"

Loretta: "I can assure you, Tom, there's nothing fake about it. And, yes, I really do like it. I've done other types of work in my life and this is the most... fun I've ever had working (laughs)."

Host: "Caller, you have a question for Loretta?"

Caller: "Hello, Loretta. I'm Jim"
... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Roma Revenge I: The Metamorphosis

This is the first part of my second novel. See my profile for details.
-------
I: THE METAMORPHOSIS
My name is Shawna. At least, according to my driver’s license it is. I used to be Shawn Milner, a relatively successful businessman with a bit of a drinking habit. I had lived as Shawn for twenty-seven very satisfied years, taking what I wanted from life and giving it my charming company in return. Even when that company was unwanted.
I was handsome, bold, strong… I really had it all. Not that I didn’t work hard at some of it; it takes more than wishful thinking and good genes to earn a squa... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 2 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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THEFORBIDDENMAN QUEST

IT WAS NOT THAT LONG AGO,
That i got around to setting this thing up, in the first place, After meeting two very nice polite large Women here i wantedto add my personal touch to things and as most people know me as SIR or MASTER would expect me to revert to type and would DOMINATE THEM yes no you descide how this pans out. so what to do diffrently yes i like these two women and from our chats they seem to like me, but its not enough (Typical MALE) i want something more something Special, something unique for WiCKED ME TO ENJOY. what shall it be, how about seeing them, hop on a plain from the ... Continue»
Posted by THEFORBIDDENMAN 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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vidya balan

This is an incident
happened between me
and my cousin vidya
balan. Am sure that the
name rang a bell in all ur
minds. Yes, am one
lucky guy to have her as
my cousin. This incident
happened after she
became an actress. I
used to visit her at
times and mostly after
her becoming an
actress. Though I found
her attractive before
too it was after her
film stint that I started
seeing her as sexy. I
dont remember how
many times I have seen
the love making scene
in parineeta. She
started ruling my
dreams after that.
I used to visit her
whenever I got a
chance. I even used to
... Continue»
Posted by superSEDUCTIVE 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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sexy school girl

hey guys n girls if you like these feel free to come back every week for a new 1 :) if theres a typo im sorry,
she was stood there in the morning awaiting to go to school, she was wearing her uniform, her hair in a ponytail, gorgeous face, her shirt so small and tight, cleavage hanging out from the top, she wears the shortest skirts, and stockings, she leans over the kitchen table to reach her school bag, the glow of her amazing ass so round and plump, she was wearing tight white nickers and they made her ass look so smooth it was perfect.
She left the house, she a... Continue»
Posted by tellmekarl 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Smackin' Down The Broski

Following the SmackDown television tapings on July 26, 2011 at Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania's Wells Fargo Center, SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long is
leaving his office. "Teddy... b*o.... Before you go I got a great idea!" Zack
Ryder says as a he approaches Teddy while sighs as his newly assigned
assistant comes towards him.

"Zack... the show's over..." Teddy Long says as he looks at the Long Island
Superstar.

"b*o are you serious? This the WWE... the show's never over!" Zack smiles.

Teddy sighs again, "What is it now Zack?"

"b*o... I got a great idea...The Diva Broski ... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 6: Playing with Fire

I awoke the next morning to an empty bed. I looked around and saw a note lying on the pillow next to me. "Sorry to screw and run, but I had an early call time this morning. Hope to see you again."

I began to replay the events on the previous night in my mind. I could feel myself getting hard just thinking about her soft skin, her firm breasts and most of all that wonderful pussy. How we tumbled out of the shower and collapsed on the bed. How she took immediate control and used me as nothing more than a tool to satisfy her carnal desire. The look of pure joy on her face as she bounced up an... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My Dear Pooja

Hello boys and girls and special hello to my beautiful and hot bhabhis and aunties .Thank you for giving your time for my story .This is your friend Priyesh Preetam from the living city Patna , Bihar. Mail me if you like this story at priyesh850@rediffmail.com .I am doing my 10+2 at a collage in patna. I have very normal physique and looks, but I am good at my studies and am a man at peace so I got a good reputation in school and college.

As you all know I am living and study in patna but my native place is somewhere in bettiah. This story is about when I was studying in 9th in my native ci... Continue»
Posted by fuckutonight 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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five gold rings

26 December 2008

Darling, just a quick thank you note for my lovely Christmas present. A partridge in a pear tree, how unusual! You are SO thoughtful. I love you to bits

27 December 2008

Darling, thank you thank you thank you! Two turtle doves, how very sweet of you! You are such a romantic! Lots of love!!

28 December 2008

Thank you for the three French hens, darling, I suppose I can use the eggs. Bye for now.

30 December 2008

Hello sweetheart, I'm sorry about not writing yesterday but to be honest I was a bit worried about all these presents you were buying and I'm still ... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Are You A Porn Star?

Just for fun, an interesting analysis of data from the Internet Adult Film Data Base of some 7000 females and 3000 males.

Data is US-centric and percentage discussions are of women unless otherwise noted.

Weight is the biggest distinction between porn stars and the general population.

Porn stars are quite a bit lighter. At 117 lbs, the average female performer is a considerable 48 lbs under the national average for women, and the average male, at 167.5 lbs, weighs 27 lbs less than the national average for men.

The average male and female performer are the same height as the average... Continue»
Posted by billstew 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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TOT Part 8 Spunky Socks

The following weekend we headed down to the Caravan on the Thursday afternoon Mum, Dad, Me and Jamie. My oldest b*****r John was not interested in the caravan he wanted to stay home on his own, probably having wild parties.
As soon as we arrived at the campsite I wanted to go straight to the shower room but of course I could not it would have looked very suspicious.


I checked Barry’s caravan but no one was there, even the games room was very quite only two older guys playing pool were there, Me and Jamie wandered about the site but we never saw any of the crowd that had been there the w... Continue»
Posted by talesofted 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Booty Inspector of the Old West (part 2)

The Booty Inspector (part 2) by markfayer

Dick jones woke up with his tail between his legs – literally his schlong was tucked back up underneath his taint and was poking out between his butt-cheeks.
“Where am I?” he groggily queried aloud.
Then he noticed the 2 large feminine figures laying on either side of his naked body.
He was inside what appeared to be a traveling Whore’s-Bedroom-Within-a-Stagecoach.
The women were impressively striking – dark-skinned Nubian Zulu warrior Princesses. 6 ft. 2 inches tall, Long muscular thick bodies, with well-fleshed-out Asses and Thig... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – D is for Double Damn!

Sorry about the wait. I lost the file with the first half of the story, so I started over. Then I found the file, so I wasted a couple days on a different story. I found it though! I've already started work on "E".

After supper, I retreated back to my fortress of solitude that is my bedroom. I remembered, without jacking off, the great day I had had. Holy shit, I had fucked two hot girls, and they both blew me. How much better could my life be right now?

My question was answered as I looked at my phone. It was a text from Catherine. She was busty, easily double D bra size, and she had a... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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