Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 107

If I Had One of Those

If I had one of those I’d play with it all the time. I’d tease it and I’d pamper it. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for it. I’d use it every way I could think of. It’d be VERY MUCH worth it…
I’d show it off. “Hey, look what I’ve got!” I’d use it to tease all the boys. I’d wear really short skirts and the highest high heels, and I’d swing my hips just so, as only a real woman can. I’d spend a lot of time sitting in places where the boys walked by. I might even whistle at them! I’d be such a slut! When a really cute guy walked by I’d smile at him and open my legs to let him see ... Continue»
Posted by Volfy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Dead Rosed

I haven't been able to sl**p lately. I started a new shift at work, and it seems like the world is always asl**p, while I'm awake at crazy hours,

working hard to afford the life I want us to live. I never wanted her to feel like I didn't care about her needs, because I do. I guess I just have trouble

exspressing how I feel sometimes. But i do it all for her. I do it all for us. She says I don't try hard enough to make time for her. She says that I

concern myself too much with money, and the things I think we "need". But I'm just trying to provide. I heard her talking in her sl**p ... Continue»
Posted by javabot9000 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Freewill 504: Part 9 Brenda's Back

Freewill 504: Part 9 Brenda's Back (By Chris A)

Disclaimer: If you are u******e and/or easily offended by stories of an adult nature, then you should probably go away. This story and characters are purely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Any one who believes they should try and recreate these situations and events in a real life situation needs to get serious help. With that said: enjoy!

It had been two weeks since the night that Laura and Jamie had sent me off slutting through the campus and in those two weeks my anger had continued to gro... Continue»
Posted by tzrlvr 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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some where over the rainbow

It started just like every other day, nice and warm, sun was shinning, wind softly blowing threw the windows, another beautiful day was starting. I had already packed the lunch we were going to have, and tea's were packed as well, you hear me humming in the kitchen, and you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me, and kiss my neck, i spin around and smile and softly slap you and tell you that you scared the hell out of me, but i love you anyway, you look around and see everything is packed up, you smile and ask if i packed the bread as well, i open the basket, and there it was right n... Continue»
Posted by tonyandkat 9 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian job

The Italian job.

For many years I have worked abroad installing plant and equipment around the world, one such job was situated in a small village in Italy, I will not give the name to protect the innocent etc.
My lunch was normally a sandwich and a beer prepared by one of the factory ladies which I normally ate beside the machines that I was installing, there were a couple of people in the factory who could speak a few words of English but the company had got a young girl the daughter of one of the women in the factory who spoke good English to interpret for me, when working abroad I try ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Evening Refreshment – Breastfeed By Anita Ma



Morning 7:00 am college lectures till 1:30, then lunch and back to hostel; in evening some light refreshment and sports time. This was used to be my daily routine when I was in one of the reputed boarding college of Chhattisgarh. Let me introduce to my lovely lady Anita madam who was our biology teacher. She too has a average height of 5 feet, skin complexion black with a voluptuous figure of 32-30-34. She always used to wear sari and she had long hairs and used to keep one strand of hair in front of her face which always would... Continue»
Posted by bava12 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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crackwhoreblues -42%

Transmission # 97
Standing at the edge of the cliff, gazing thoughtlessly down into the septic tank of our soul... High heels and lip-stick, cocaine enemas, we beg the Whore-Goddess to fuck us with her fifteen inch throbbing cock, to be her slave....

Bouncing up and down, playing pogo on your cock, tightening my sphincter, milking, teasing, squeezing your throbbing shaft so deep inside. You pull my legs back, speeding my asshole, gape-r****g me, making me scream as I lose control over my body, spasming anal-orgasmic ecstasy. Face fuck me, electrocute me, your trannytweakerfuckslutslave... Continue»
Posted by cassielie 27 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Night of Bad Sex


The night before we had been watching the film The Pianist illuminated on her bedroom wall. I had been making appropriate and thoughtful comments throughout until they had thrown the disabled man, wheelchair and all, off a third floor balcony. “They’re only showing the bad bits,” I said. “Oh they should show all the good bits should they?” she asks in a sharp revoke. I say nothing more for a while.

Then the Russians came. The last Germans units were killed or fled the ruined city as it was liberated, and the pianist had lived through it all to play the tale. We had sex later. Emot... Continue»
Posted by Josef_K 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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christmas joke

3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols... Continue»
Posted by diver1uk2003 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical.....17

Theatrical…..17

We went into the theatre and into the bar, I saw him almost immediately, he was standing talking to another man, the guy must have been in his late fifties, he nodded but made no move, he had a drink in his hand, Julia saw him and started to move towards him,
I caught her arm, “wait” I said, “why, he’s over there” she said, “I know and he has seen us so when he is ready he will either speak to us here or in the theatre” I said, “but why don’t we just go over and talk to him” she said, “because sweetheart, his wife died about 6 months ago and if that man is a friend of his ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Who are You and Why?

This is not a story, but hopefully a fun way to determine Who you really are and Why?

Wife who sucks dick or slut that swallows it?
Wife who loves to be eaten or slut who masturbates while being bitten
Wife who wants to be held or slut that likes to be spanked
Wife who complains about the size of her ass or slut that squeals in delight while willingly being taken from behind...

Who are you? Wife, Slut or Slut-Wife... Continue»
Posted by Yes2u4 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Be My Girl

I was blue and lonely,
I couldn’t sl**p a wink
And I could only get u*********s
If I’d had to much to drink

There was somehow, something wrong somewhere,
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation
Were growing in my head

I needed inspiration,
A brand new start in life,
Somewhere to place affection,
But I didn’t want a wife

And then by lucky chance I saw
In a special magazine
An ad that was unusual,
The like I’d never seen,

’experience something different
With our new imported toy,
She’s loving, warm, inflatible
And... Continue»
Posted by KarlVonWillebrand 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Holiday heat.

Im in Italia with my honey right now and for 2 weeks there is no distractions of work ect.
All day and night loving possibilities so I will do this little quiz here.

The night before last I sat on the edge of what being ate slowly by him?

A the bed
B the bath
C the pool
D a chair
E all of the above


I last night had something wonderful between my thighs what was it?

A my honeys mouth
B my honeys cock
C my honeys hands/fingers
D a toy held by my honey
E all of the above

The bed here is with a massive headboard how have I held it while he has ate me?

A standingfacing ... Continue»
Posted by bylhamclarabella 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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mmm

Wow, that was pretty exciting," Sue said when he had disappeared. "I didn't realise what a randy sod you are, Steph. You wouldn't think that you only started frigging around today."

"Maybe, but I've been feeling like it for weeks. You know, I could easily let some bloke have a proper eyeful of my fanny, without any knickers in the way, I mean. They may as well be off, because they're saturated in any case. I'm really juicing up."

"Me too, but I don't know that I could just flash my fanny in cold bl**d as it were. Once we pull some bloke though, no problem."

"Tell you what, let me take... Continue»
Posted by foreignera 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Little Red

Introduction:
The true story of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.
[ N.B. This story doesn't have a proper ending. Once you get to the end, try going back to the start. Then it makes sense. ;) ]
Genre- Dark Fantasy, b********y, Cruelty, Monster, Non-consensual sex, ****, v******e, Virginity, Young



Her juices at that time of month were thick and white. One clawed finger dipped into her, lifted the sweet, honey-scented sap to his nose. He licked it off.

Her lips were trembling. ‘Please,’ the girl said brokenly. ‘Please don’t – ’

The Wolf laughed at her. ‘Little Red, Lit... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 16 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Valentines together

So Almost a year into your sex-filled relationship and its our first valentines together. its been a week since we last saw each other and i owe Bappy big! wearing a tight shirt, baggy jeans and low cut vest under my shirt i could see his excitement as i walked down the stairs at the train station. walking to union square and we stop for a cuddle and i can feel his member hard in his pants. a few hours pass and we decide to go back to his to celebrate properly. as soon as we get into his room we strip off he's getting hard and its happening fast. i moaning his ear how bad i've been needing his... Continue»
Posted by maaao 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 22

The Italian job 22
Croatia asked me to go back and fine tune a few things then they would pay me at the end of that visit, they had already paid me some money which actually covered all my expenses for the job but I had no objection and it would be good to renew old acquaintances,

I told Ellie “can I come with you?” she said “if it is only a short trip I would love to see Croatia, I have never been, they tell me the thousand Islands area is beautiful” she said “the Istra peninsular is just at the top end of the thousand Islands” I explained “so when I am done in Umag we can make our way d... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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And Then He...

I know a lot of you will think 'What the f**k is this????' but I am sure some will see it for what it is. What is it? Well it is a poetic story for which you can add your own ending. And as it is only about a moment, you can add history if you wish. Essentially it is a little bit of fun, and that is an aspect of this site yeah??? Fun??? So I hope you (those few) enjoy :)


And Then He..


She came from afar, well Manchester,
And she came looking for him.
Stood at the station, he waited for her,
Imagining the pleasure she would bring.
And as their eyes met, so it began,
T... Continue»
Posted by genuineguy 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The English Gentleman and His American Tart

I was early in Northern England, 7am, but William sat waiting in the Manchester Airport for an International Flight from Chicago to arrive. Despite his best efforts, he was nervous. No, not nervous-nearly quaking in anticipation.

In a short time, the plane would land and she'd be here. She'd actually be here. No more texting on What's App, or sharing photos of each other over Facebook, she'd actually be standing in front of him and he felt himself terrified of how she'd react when she saw him.

It was true he was quite tall and sometimes unsure of himself, but today he'd dressed in her ... Continue»
Posted by ladysafran 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Mom the Unwilling Slut



It was a shitty day. My attempts at finding a job were as pointless as vacuuming your lawn. I just wanted something that paid enough to get the fuck out of my parents house, and stop dating Rosie palm. As I turned onto my street I was glad to see my parents car wasn't in the driveway. I DVR'd one of my favorite movies last night. It was one of those B movies where the bimbos drop their tops every time they turn around. This one had a fairly decent plot, and I despe... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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