Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 107

A RANDOM FREESTYLE SEX POEM FRESH FROM MY BRAIN

She had no panties on and a mini skirt.
When he ate her pussy it made her squirt.
He thrust his hard-on deep inside
It felt so good she nearly cried.
"I've never been fucked quite like this,"
Then he pulled out and came on her tits.
"Oh we're not done yet; not even close.
Finger my ass hole."
"No, that's gross."... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Action-packed Big Sexy-time, Man. Make-a You Real

So, like, there was this woman, and she had really big tits, because that’s sexy. I mean, really big tits, like, she could topple an orphanage with them, and that’s sexy. And there was this guy; he didn’t have big tits, because that’s not very sexy. And one day he was like “hey, let’s do sex” and she was all like “okay.” So they started having sex and the guy was like “oh yeah” and the girl was just lying there like a corpse because that’s sexy and then the guy was all like “ooh, you feel like my mom” and the girl was just like “uhh.”

The guy was giving it to her... Continue»
Posted by theusernameyouhaveselectedisalreadyinuse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Hopeless romantic...

Well, since this is my very first post here, I know I will be screwing something up as I go along. Please bear with me.. :)

I am always a believer of strong relationship. No matter how rocky a relationship is, love will find it's way to unite the two hearts. Many of us may have different fetishes but I am pretty sure that this is for the pleasure of the other partner. You may share your husband and wife, make them your slave or anything that you can think of, but at the end of the day, both of you will be back together sharing the same love and remembering the vows that you have exchanged t... Continue»
Posted by Killroy17 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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E-TYPE CHRISTMAS-(true event)

I HAVE TO THANK RETROLOVER, as a result of talking with him, my memory was set back to Christmas DAy morning 1980 at 0134 me and Two Work Mates who i will call "TOM and DICK" were waiting for the Staff Coach to take us home, these coaches were either 24 or 82 seter jobs normaly. TOM says "Hay whats this coming our way" Dick "no Can`t be for us shorly" along came the usual coach driver exept hes driving my boy hood dream car the E-Type Jaguar Sports Car, For those who don`t know it, a two seater, the driver had not checked-in to see if there was anyone who needed it, he was aparently just passi... Continue»
Posted by THEFORBIDDENMAN 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy Fairytale part 6

Kristen had been right, the pleasant weather seemed to have melted away, and she was quite sure that it was going to be cold enough to snow by the time the sun was completely down. Naked, she ran through the woods, trying to heat up her body. When she saw a light through the trees, she immediately went towards it, heedless of where it might lead to as long as she could be warm and inside.

The wind picked up as she found herself standing in front of a huge castle, an iron gate swinging in the wind. Teeth chattering, she hurried up the stone walkway, banging on the huge double doors.

"Hell... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 10 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Romance Comic Cover Stories - Chapter VII

Chapter VII – Their Armchair (based on Love Diary No. 41 cover, Orbit-Wanted, circa 1949)



I guess everyone has fantasies and fetishes, but how do you say about someone who wants to have sex in the armchair you just bought for your best friends because you felt envy of their ‘adventures’

Me and Charlotte just found this beautiful and stylish armchair as a gift for Keith and Donna, which were to move to a new house. The armchair was so awesome and fittable that we resisted till the last urge to buy it for ourselves an... Continue»
Posted by Victor2K 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Urgent

She reaches around and tugs him out of his boxers.
“Uh, Crowley’s Books… do you, what are ah… excuse me… what…”
“Really!” She wraps one leg around. “I used to work there. I was a leftover for a while, you know, a call-in? Fucking Simon, wanted to fucking castrate him sometimes. Does Barak still work there?”
And he’s unable to follow her words, following her smile, and strange figures emerge from her lips, a lipstick formed from the bl**d of saints and martyrs to her causes and it’s coming loose of her lip... Continue»
Posted by oluckyman 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Taste Of Jealousy Part 1

Gym. 2:16 p.m.

"Since today you start weight training, there are a few machines that I want you to know that most of you will be trying today. Firstly, the Bicept Curls, is where you will be lifting weights, but since you are all only in grade eight, I surely hope most of you will be able to lift ten pounds," Mr. Richard said, looking at all of us while we all laughed and I grinned, elbowing my friend Shyla who yelped, rubbing her arm and giggled as I kept looking at the teacher and then at Matt, who was across the room, talking to his buddies and they laughed as his eyes turned to mine and... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Bank Job

My job working for a temp agency was a lot of fun while I had it. I was
just out of college and looking for work in the film industry, and needed a
way to get myself food and shelter--a couple of luxuries I had grown
accustomed to over the years. The temp job was good for a guy in my
position--I often could pick my own hours, it never got boring (as I rarely
stayed at any one place more than a couple of weeks) and it paid pretty well,
especially since I usually got the higher paying word processing jobs. I
knew my way around computers and could do more with word processing programs
... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Chav lads bring in new cock for me

Jamie and Nicky turned up outside my bedroom window late one night. They wanted some fun, it was about 11pm, s****rs were in bed and parents still at work. I risked it as I was horny and snuck out of the house and went for a ride with the two bad lad studs in Nicky’s knackered but strangely sexy car.

We drove around for bit, I was sat in the back seat with Jamie and Nicky driving.

They were in their hoodie chav gear and I was wearing a tight white t shirt with hearts on it and a short white skirt. I had my hair my usual Maria style and my nose stud was in. I knew what we were doing so ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Wasted a good cup of coffee lol

first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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today horny?

a hot sommerday again and i also hot :
today i`m realy horny again ,
several times can feel my fat cock between my soft hairy legs ,
terribly hungry to make love , passionated long and deep with
a nice sexy and hairy natural woman , there gets wet and horny , like me .
there like to do it several times - in the morning , outdoor , when take shower or where ever we like it to do .
hungry to feel the mans hard dick and happy to feel his hotcum deep inside.....

where are you , the naughy , nyphomanic woman ,
to h... Continue»
Posted by alfisexy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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"I think I can" and I did....

_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_


I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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1

we are at the summer house of us... near to beach, but far fromother ppl's eyes. no more house near to us... That is our secret place, no one knows, but us. we are swimming after midday.kissing eachother between the rocks... no one can hear our laughs...

then taking you on the sands, in my arms. you need to get oiled your delicious and salty skin. i am ready to help here :). you are laying down , and i am taking some oil in my hands. start to massage to your body.... to your muscles... you are getting relax under my touch. to your neck... to your back... to your waist(with a kiss)... to... Continue»
Posted by warcry01 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Hallmark Valentines Day Rejects






Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.

* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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An 'Ode to the Cock'

'Come on, what's so terrible about a young woman love of a man's Penis?'
I personally love the feel of one, especially when it lies in my hand.
The potential it bears as it lies on my hand, drooping gently over my hand's length, watching the purplish glans become exposed as the foreskin miraculously peels back, an involuntary action, due to it's owner contemplating my excitement' and as it hardens, it's an example of positive feedback.
Soon fully erect and it rises from my hand and assumes an incredible angle, I note a single dew-drop of seminal fluid leaks from its tiny slit, I look up a... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Eating

Eating

Today is the day where we want to meet, you are ringing on the door and I open it. As greetings we kiss. Then we talk and watch a film. For that we are laying on the couch and you have your hand on my leg and my arm is around your shoulder.
The film is a kind of romantic comedy with a lot of kissing. During the watching your hand is wandering up and down my leg and remains on my dick and my hand is wandering down to your breasts and is knead it a bit. Then we kiss smoothly and we take off our shirts and I continue with your breasts. Then I take off your trouser and continue kissing ... Continue»
Posted by John9090 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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SPENT

Time to head to the gym. Shay and I work out regularly (of course you know this if you follow her hot blog. www.thegirlform.com ) It's about a 30 min drive and we don't always get to go together.
Today was one of those days. Every morning I wake up with the Hardest Cock ever. I mean what do you expect I sl**p next to the Shay Every night. I generally rub up on her pretty good and if she feels like giving me a treat she will FUCK me right then and there. Today was not one of those days, so I left the house with a raging hard on. She Loves this! and she knows she wields the power to ma... Continue»
Posted by peanutj 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Booty Inspector of the Old West (pt. 3)

The Booty Inspector pt. 3 by markfayer

“Freaky Felatio Foursome”


Dick and his intrepid Lieutenant, junior, had no sooner arrived at the Barnaby’s Circus Fairgrounds when they spied the performers’ ring of campers set about in a cozy circle, creating a small common open space for the freaks and Acrobats and other members of the Freak Parade.
“Alright, Dick, what’s our plan of Attack?” quipped Junior.
“Well…I figgur we just waltz into the Boxler b*o’s trailer, give them an offer they caint refuse—by which I mean they get to fornicate with our Nubian Amazons-in-tow in a no... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 11 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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What women want from men

1. When we talk 'listen', it shows us that you care about our feelings.

2. Men should be smart enough and understand that not all our bad moods are connected to PMS-ing.

3. Guys, developing an EQ (Emotional quotient) would help. That however, does not mean that they need to cry at the drop of a hat, it just means you need to be more sensitive towards us.

4. With women communication is the key, so try and talk to us often.

5. Here are some traits we wish men would display – chivalry, making an extra effort with our friends and f****y, because we do the same!

6. Cook for us o... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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