Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 105
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: asl ?
Stranger: 15 f usa
You: 16 m france
You: are you sexy ?
You: tall, athletic body with 6 packs and blue eyes
Stranger: umm yeah ur sexy
Stranger: I'm shot, thin, athletic, blue eyes, blonde hair, and tan
You: hmm you're sexy too
You: so have you a bf ?
You: so you masturbate ?
You: how much o... Continue»
Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.
The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
People, ever found a small glance of your findxpartner
friends bosom while she bent low to choose something up?
Ever wanted you could have seen more? Of course..
If you have a companion who has relationship a magnificent looker, you would be inclined to imagine about your buddy's attractive time frame undressed too.
We want to see it more than ever. But more often than not, possibilities will come banging on your entrance if you can just understand to be on the lookout at the right time.
Spending a day out with your buddies at an alone identify, where in addition, there's a ... Continue»
One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," replied Adam.
"Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
"OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?"
"I only gave you enough bl**d to operate one at time."
Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How can you ... Continue»
I’ve told you about my fuck buddy and our first adventure with another guy, here is a tale of a very unusual dogging experience up at Wisley.
We arrived quite late one night and parked up in the cafe car park, both of us climbed into the back and started to kiss and cuddle as you do, I’m quiet keen to start removing her clothes as well as mine!
I’m down to my underpants and she is now just in her basque and stockings I’ve loosen her shoulder straps and sucking on her firm tits and tonguing her hard nipples, she has such wonderful tits and I can’t leave them alone, I take a peek outside an... Continue»
well last night i was watching football when i get a knock at the window. its the chav crew. its jason, nicky and jamie. anyway they want to come in. the house was empty so i let them in
They want a shag off me so i said ok, anyway the car comes up the drive its the f****y so i quicky get them out of the house through the window.
anyway as i do that jamie and nicky leg it over the wall. jason however just hides. i go to door open it and then go see f****y into house. i say im just getting a drink of mountain dew out of the shed. we keep some pop in there along with other tinned stuff( ... Continue»
This is a story that is both part fiction and part truth.
You see, the thing is, I am something of a masochist. I like pain. Now, I'm not into the hardcore stuff like taking jumper cables to the sack or being stomped on by stiletto heels. I just like the light stuff, maybe some smacking around, hair pulling, and some of that. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a fema... Continue»
Mary was feeling a little worried. She was due to go to college in a couple weeks, which meant she had to move into the dorms.
"Can't I still commute from home?" Mary asked her parents.
"Oh no!" They said, "You wouldn't be getting the full college experience." They explained.
"Well," Mary tried, "Can I at least have a single dorm? How will I have any privacy if I share room with someone?"
"That's more expensive," They said, "And unnecessary, you'll make more friends and socialize more if you share a room with someone."
Mary valued her privacy and alone time. She was a straigh... Continue»
Being far apart from my girlfriend means that we usually leave Skype on constantly. If our ISPs charged us for gigabytes used, we'd be fucked... luckily that's not a problem. Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding ways to spend time together, and in this way, we make it work.
Being on mic and camera for long periods of time can lead to various levels of intimacy. This can be as innocent as a kiss or as naughty as both of us imagining that we're fucking each other until the two of us cum. Somewhere in between are the long hours we sl**p together with camera and mic runnin... Continue»
There are quite a few reasons that could contribute to why men get involved with other women. Mainly, the sexual attraction, companionship, and curiosity pull men closer to those that they will have an affair with. TV shoes, advertisements, movies, and novels also contribute to the excitement of the lust for more women. While women tend to cheat on their boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands for reasons such as intimacy, sex, and money, men have a few different reasons.
Most of the time men wind up cheating to have more sex. They might lack enough sex in their current relationship, so they might... Continue»
# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask
the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the
front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if
your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" ... Continue»
i was at a festival with four friends this summer and me and one girl sarah decided we'd share a tent.sarah is a sexy brunette with a face you would love to cum all over ass you'd love to lick and pussy to pound...
one night i went back to the tent early as i had thought of a brilliant idea.alone in the tent i went looking through her bag and found a lovely pair of white panties.the smell of them was making my cock throb in my jeans i had to start wanking it off furiously.while wanking i managed to find her tooth brush this excited me even more.i placed the toothbrush in my mouth panties ov... Continue»
Diane, a former prostitute wants to escape away from her abusing
pimps and other men. She wants to change her life around to become a
better person. Diane wants to go back to school, and get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has a curvy shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Diane’s
hip is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day Diane have an interview for a job, Diane wore a short mini
skirt (you co... Continue»
(Fishing couple discovers camp mates)
My wife, Virginia, and I had been driving continuously for over eighteen hours in a mad dash to get to our favorite Atlantic Salmon river for the season's opening day. The biggest obstacle that remained in our way was Kurley's Mountain! Commencing at near sea level, Kurley's Mountain Highway climbed the sea side of the mountain to over fifteen hundred feet above sea level. Climbing a distance of slightly less than four kilometers, with the last kilometer having the highest grade incline, the engine of our fully loaded four wheel drive howled in protest ... Continue»
After I had broken up with my girlfriend, I was left to wander the world of women. I had met a cute woman who was in my work group at school. We immediately started getting along. We had a similar sense of humor and similar relationship pasts. Both of which allowed us to make a powerful connection. Soon enough we were hanging out outside of class; I took her fishing, she helped me pick out my dog. We were inseparable.
We did hit one snag though: neither of us wanted a new relationship. We were both in our "cool down" mode after our break ups and decided to just fuck each other as much as we ... Continue»
My new friend, Jeff, finished packing his large rainbow colored bong with a fresh load of sticky, resiny weed. My head buzzing from the bong hits we'd already taken, I watched him light up and inhaled deeply, then hold the smoke in his lungs. In my stoned haze, I looked at his buff physique. Jeff was an inordinately good looking man, lithe muscles bulging in a tight tank top, dark hair and darker eyes and intense features, someone who, if he had been born as a woman, most any man would have rated as a "10".
He passed me the lit bong. "Here, suck on this."
I inhaled deeply, then struggl... Continue»
When it comes to sex and for*play, men think differently and so do women. What may work for the goose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that is thrilling, memorable and completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secret fantasies!
Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.
Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up to something. His kiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for it brings on an exhilarating primal ... Continue»
james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
I basically wrote this story just to see if I could pull it off. It is an unedited once over piece but it has gotten good feedback so I decided to post it and see what other people think.
OF WIZARDS AND STARSHIPS
A SEXY ROMP THROUGH SPACE-TIME
A cold and bitter wind blew through the darkened English countryside, carrying the promise of snowfall before morning. Across the land, Muggles and Wizards alike wisely chose to avoid the winter weather and instead found things to do indoors where it was safe and warm.
Despite being wrapped in numerous layers of defensive magical spells, ... Continue»