Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 105

Knowing the Right Fit

No two bras fit alike, even if they're the same style. Every bra manufacturer makes a slightly different product, so a Warner's demi cup is going to fit differently from a Le Mystere demi cup. A Hanes full-coverage won't feel just like a Calvin Klein full coverage.

By all means, if you've found a brand that works with your shape, stick with it. Otherwise, you've got work to do. But at least you know your size. You're in better shape than most.

In the dressing room, you're looking for the following fit:

• Cup: Smooth and taut, with no "denting" or oozing anywhere; if there's an underwi... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 208  |  
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Nikki having sex with chav lads

well one night a few years ago so dazza was 18 at time me 21 anyway me dazza,jamie,darren, cris and this lad called mark were on the turnpike in Leigh.

Dazza is 18, Jamie, 19, Cris 18, Mark 27 and me at time 21. I still see Dazza and his crew of chavs now.

we were at the back of it late at night its seculded you cant go there now as gates lock it up but u could then anyway we were drinking and stuff and id got shagged off jamie and cris and sucked darren off and snog dazza then everyone has to go home but dazza so jamie and the rest go .anyway dazza says to me that he wants to fuck me ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 207  |  
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Lunar Fantasy

I lie on the bed, without a garment to hide under. He is standing above me, drinking in all the milky whiteness that is my pale body. There is no expression on his face, and he does not move to touch me. Instead, I follow his eyes with mine own and see that he does not linger in the expected places. Rather, he shapes my curves with wonder and fascination, as if he has never really seen this subtle curvature, or plumpness, before. My ghostly pigmented cheeks are tainted cherry, momentarily.



Throwing a pillow at his face, I curse myself for not thinking to cover my nudity instead. He cat... Continue»
Posted by bifym 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 207  |  
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"Gill"

We left the relative shade of the peristyle garden with its white marble fountain depicting Venus a ewer hoisted on her shoulder. The trickling figure stood in the centre of a shallow square pool, surrounded by smooth flag stones and then by a grassed border skirting up to a colonnaded cloister that hemmed the garden in, providing a screen to the outside world.

I took her small hand in mine to lead her away from the site of our tryst, to the coolness of the house I had had built in a Roman style.

She hesitated as if frightened by the sudden change of light. A gently guiding hand at the s... Continue»
Posted by fotoplace 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 205  |  
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Food play

 I slowly walk towards you in my Lacey black thong and bra I smile seductively as I lean forward and tie you to the bedpost. I blind fold you , making sure that you won't see anything. I climb on top of you and grind my hips slowly against your cock as you groan out loud. You're hard and ready as I climb off and unzip your pants and out pops your beautiful pogo stick. 
I take the whip cream that I set out and rub it on you. You shiver as I lower my mouth to your throbbing cock. I hear you gasp as I start licking you up and down, moaning in the process. I feel myself getting wetter and I stop ... Continue»
Posted by ForeverGold101 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 205  |  1

Alive and Kicking

So,its a nice evening bit cold but oke ,toninght i wil meet a new friend i have meet her through a chat programme.
I live now 4 years in Romania its a nice country with beautifull girls i will meet her in the centrum of Bucharest a place that i dont now yet we will see.
Its evening about 9 o clock its already dark i take a taxi than i can drink something thats better ,after 10 min the taxi arrive i tell him the place were i have to go,he look a little straints and ask me your sure,why i ask,now no reason he say its oke i will bring you there.
The whole time the men dont say nothing only loo... Continue»
Posted by rex2210 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 204  |  
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Are you wearing the right bra?

Slipping cups, breaking straps and dreaded 'back fat' – are all the horrors of not wearing the right bra for you.

Queen Elizabeth II's longtime bra maker and bra fitter says that most women - 85 per cent - aren't wearing the right size.

"It's because they've gone to a shop that doesn't know how to fit them properly," June Kenton told a London newspaper after her retirement last year," the Sydney Morning Herald quoted her as saying.

Kenton recalled dreading her first royal visit in 1960.

"Can you imagine what it was like? Most people first meet the queen when she's wearing an evenin... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 204  |  
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1920s "Flapper" terminology ...

The term "flapper" evokes the image of short fringe dresses, cigarette holders, bobs and stylish hair accessories.

But beyond these shorter hemlines and daring fashion attitudes was a strong undercurrent of change for women in the Roaring 1920s. This new generation of young woman, tired of men's dominance in society and of the old social norms that stifled them, took on new behaviors previously deemed not suitable for women. They drove cars, drank alcohol, and attended jazz clubs by night where they danced, smoked cigarettes and dated men casually. They began to work outside the home and ad... Continue»
Posted by billstew 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 204  |  
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I Shag, Dump And Slap The Minging Slut!

I’m just on the way round to see the Minger… it’ll be for the last time because once I’ve shagged her gross little body I’m going to dump her… naturally she doesn’t know that. In fact I’ve really been quite nice to her recently… well nice by my standards… built up her hopes that we will be ‘an item’, perhaps get married one day.
Me… married? That’s a facking laugh… show me a ‘happily’ married man and I’ll show you a facking loser… and I’ll tell you why he’s a fa... Continue»
Posted by Ima_Kant 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 203  |  
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Long Fiction

I glanced at my boyfriend nervously. He’d been very quiet for the past half hour, just sitting and staring out the window, like he was waiting for something. It was making me really jumpy. Usually when he was really quiet that meant he was either upset or thinking very seriously about something—both very, very bad things, in my opinion. Cautiously, I sat down by his knees and nudged him gently with my head. “Hey.”
He looked down, startled, and the look on his face told me he wasn’t upset. “You look like a teenage girl waiting for her first date to show up.” I teased quietly, resting my head a... Continue»
Posted by blackeyedkitsune 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 203  |  
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3 Girls In A Cafe Part 2

Please read Part 1 before this part. It's called 3 Girls In A Cafe :)

It'd been a week since Kaito started working in the Cafe with the beautiful three girls. Hiraki had still remained silent and quiet ever since her and Kaito's little interuption on his first day. Yume had grown very fond of him, always talking and clinging to him like she was his little s****r and Diasuke remained fierce yet kind to Kaito. It was now a Thursday afternoon and Diasuke had given him the spare room in the Cafe so that he didn't have to drive to work everday, he could just stay there if he wanted, she didn't r... Continue»
Posted by milli214 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 203  |  
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Joey's Powers: part 2

Last time on Joey’s powers…
"Ohhhhhh... fu-fuck meeeeeee.."

He then relies some one was still here.

"ok if this isn't real, no more carrot cake at the cake monster!" he thought. "Here it comes"

He opened the door silently and could not believe what he saw...
___________________________________________________________________

He saw Candie squirting right at the office! this is the 1st time he had seen it outside of porn tapes. Her top piece was un-buttoned with her tits hanging out, thong, & skirt on the floor. Her pussy was like a automatic sprinkler that ran out of water: just... Continue»
Posted by Ahorny1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 202  |  
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WILL'S FANTASY PART 2

I moan louder and louder as you kiss ,lick and nibble the strawberries,cream and chocolate sauce from my breasts " oh my god WILL ,please don't stop " I beg as you travel down my body... I am shaking with desire for you as you go down on me and lap up the whipped cream from my pussy ... So near to cumming yet wanting you so bad... Hear myself tell you " I want to taste you "... You walk on over to me and unzip ,looking at me somewhat nervously , * I smile and tell you I want you to... You place your manhood to my lips and I gently part them letting you into my mouth... You moan low at first an... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 201  |  
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The Italian Job 7

The Italian Job 7
Earlier in the story I told you about my visit to Czechoslovakia and the fact that the people were so curious well! I am going to put this story in here as I have already mentioned it and it is a bit lighter than the last one and may I hope go some way to helping you to forgive me if I have offended any of you.
It was still Czechoslovakia in those days and the company I was working for as a commissioning engineer had sold some equipment to an industry there, everything came under the banner of Skoda Industries, and I had to go there because the engineer who had started the ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 201  |  
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Setting Up of Wifes



I married priya when she was 23. Now at the age of 37 with 14 years of marriage behind us and two k**s added to our f****y, I was getting bored with my sex life.

Most of the times, I now come home late after about 10 p.m, As soon as the office timings are over, I try to find some friend to talk to and we keep chatting or go over for beers and return home late. Most of the times I used to call vinod at 5 pm and fix up a meeting with him at some bar or hotel. We used
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 201  |  
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I Married A Hooker

Another poem originally posted under the screen name BrianDamage...and not a true story, btw...

I Married A Hooker

I met a girl who walked the street,
I have to say she really looked sweet,
Tight skirt of leather and lace,
Long hair framed a pretty face,
Didn't take much more than a glance,
To realize I wanted to get into her pants,
Next time I saw her walking by,
I chugged my beer and went over to say 'Hi,'
She asked me if I wanted to go out,
What she did for a living, there was no doubt,
Just to make sure there is no misconception,
I normally don't pay, this wa... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 200  |  
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Meating The Hammer Man

I turned and slowly struck a pose in profile while Dede panned around my long hard on. "Have any of you seen Hammer Man?"

"Nope!" answered Cessa.

"Oh well," I sighed. "Do you suppose while we wait one of you could, (dramatic pause) Fuck me up my ass?"

********************************************************************

It was hard to believe that this was the same place I was in several weeks ago. Gone was all the casual joking, and the laid back atmosphere. It was replaced with all kinds of tension and a strictly business attitude.

Th... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 197  |  
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A little addition to In the Beginning

In 1974, Harry Chapin wrote a poem about an accident with a truck in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The truck was carrying a load of bananas and crashed. Chapin developed the incident into a kind of cult song that he would play at his live concerts. The song had an original ending that had no audience pull. He tried to amend it and make it more popular. After his first attempt, he played the song for his group and received the following reaction: "Harry, it sucks!" So, as Harry relates in the song, he went back to his lonely writers garret and tried out a new ending. So here I am, in my lonely writer... Continue»
Posted by bbbooom 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 197  |  
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omegle spy mode chat delirium

question to discuss:
are u sick of "horny people" on here too?
D: let's send them to conversex and clean omegle up!!!

you:i am horny
stranger:Me too
you:whats conversex?
stranger:no idea
you:sounds good
you:i am sick of all non horny
you:people
you:whats the reason of web chatting if there is no sex involved?
you:?
you:or nudity
stranger:YEAH!
you:i mean come on
stranger:Come on!
you:i was holding my peepee in my hand
stranger:yeah!
you:and i was trying to show it to the girls
you:and i forged my likes list
you:and put Bieber and one direction etc.
stranger:YEAH!
you:a... Continue»
Posted by virgin20yearold 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 197  |  
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Theatrical....7

Theatrical……7

He came out of the shower in his boxers again and made for the trolley, he nodded to the waiter who gave him the thumbs up, Lisa was sitting in a chair fast asl**p, he helped himself to sandwiches and nodded to Anna, I followed again and gave her the same speech I had given her daughter about wanting to see how it was done by the experts, he was walking behind us and patted me on the backside as we entered the bedroom, he turned the bedspread over as there was stains of cum on it, Anna was wearing a robe which she shed as her heavy tits swung free of it, she looked at him to s... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 197  |  
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