Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 105

420 Reasons to Fuck

My new friend, Jeff, finished packing his large rainbow colored bong with a fresh load of sticky, resiny weed. My head buzzing from the bong hits we'd already taken, I watched him light up and inhaled deeply, then hold the smoke in his lungs. In my stoned haze, I looked at his buff physique. Jeff was an inordinately good looking man, lithe muscles bulging in a tight tank top, dark hair and darker eyes and intense features, someone who, if he had been born as a woman, most any man would have rated as a "10".

He passed me the lit bong. "Here, suck on this."

I inhaled deeply, then struggl... Continue»
Posted by mariokarlsson 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Sex secrets sure to drive him wild!

When it comes to sex and for*play, men think differently and so do women. What may work for the goose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that is thrilling, memorable and completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secret fantasies!

Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.

Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up to something. His kiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for it brings on an exhilarating primal ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 2)

Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.

As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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my new life...part 5

james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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risky toolshed sex with the chavs

well last night i was watching football when i get a knock at the window. its the chav crew. its jason, nicky and jamie. anyway they want to come in. the house was empty so i let them in

They want a shag off me so i said ok, anyway the car comes up the drive its the f****y so i quicky get them out of the house through the window.

anyway as i do that jamie and nicky leg it over the wall. jason however just hides. i go to door open it and then go see f****y into house. i say im just getting a drink of mountain dew out of the shed. we keep some pop in there along with other tinned stuff( ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Lunch Break

part 2 continuation of "Wake Up!"

After this morning's "wake up" I couldn't focus on work all morning
my thoughts are of nothing but you
your flawless creamy white skin, ample breasts and firm round ass
the scent of your perfume
your light brown hair that frames your angelic face
the pout of your full luscious lips
and your eyes, I lose myself in their dreamy caramel luster
I arrive at our meeting spot, the drinking fountain by the supply closet
you're not there, you're late
we only have 30 minutes for lunch
you said that you had a surprise for me
what could it be...
a new rest... Continue»
Posted by CMStivy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Kinky Vanilla: Prologue

Introduction:
A short, vague beginning to a long series
A word of warning: I am a very wordy writer and my stories are almost more about the stories and characters than the sex. If this isn't your cup of tea and you're looking for raunchy stories that get right into it, this story and others by me are not for you. This chapter is the prologue and is thus intentionally vague to begin with and somewhat heavy with exposition. I predict this series will go on for many, many chapters but I know it will take a while to get going. If you're ready for the long haul, I hope it's worth it and you enjo... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 26 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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3 Girls In A Cafe Part 1

Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
---

"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Women 'as likely as men to enjoy casual sex

It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.

A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.

Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.

"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.

The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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FUCKED-OVER AGAIN

Have you ever been with someone with such an addiction that they would lie, cheat and be prepared to lose it all? Well as it is said..what have I got myself into Ollie lol......this can't even call it a man is addicted to men, little girls, girls, old bags, anything that is connected to porn lmaooooo and not that I am drop dead beautiful but close lol.....ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE???? that would be a question to ponder.......why a person's hand should be sore and he has or had a person....wow what a loss huh.......Anyone got an idea????... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 2

The Italian job 2
The installation progressed and although we did not have sex again that week, the lunch was still as good and as big, Roseanna stood smiling at me whilst I ate and would give me a small kiss as I left the kitchen, the following week Roseanna was on holiday so I was invited to go for lunch with Maria and Yvonne her mother, I was thankful that it was only a plate of spaghetti, it was about mid-week and Maria’s mother was not in the factory, Maria seemed a bit distressed and I thought that we would not be going for lunch when she approached me and said can you drive me home as ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Oooh lala LOVERS voyager

u come out from a shower with jst a towel on u... saying in a naughty way that u jst shave it ;) me... without a word i take my shirt and my short... be naked in bed... u laught and throw that towel... then jump nxt to me ♥ I leaned over ur face and gently kissed ur sweet fresh cheeks... then lightly i put my lips on urs which was so hot and sweet... after many crazy kisses and some frenshy which was realy enough to make my dick go up... oh... i moved my lips down to ur neck... many little gentle kisses... then to ur boobes placing ur whole nipple in my mouth and suck it ;) but the tongue play... Continue»
Posted by LadyWild 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P1)

Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.

Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it co... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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the truck

it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Posted by wja1291 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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what I am I doing?

I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.

I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I
licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to
sc**** my teeth against it.

There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done.

I threw away the outsides of my Oreo Cookie


... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Little Johnny

Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma. He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.
Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."
Little Johnn...y thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"
... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bad-Girl Sex Tricks (For Girls Only)

Bad girls are legendary - a guy who’s been with one practically passes out from bliss when he talks about his experience. You might be thinking, “Who, me? Be a bad girl?” But any woman who wants to can wake up her hibernating vixen...and have a damn good time doing it!

See, bed-devil status is about a fearless attitude, not how much sexual experience you have or whether you wear leather. “Guys dig when women are unbridled and uninhibited, push their own boundaries, break the rules, and ask for what they want,” says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. So ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Sexy wife and I continued

Hello My suzie and I have been together going on thirty years it has been a great ride . I have written about our adventures in the laundry and in the yard on the deck our dining room of our new house and our date to the erotic drive in on our third date,
She was a hottie then and still my hottie we love it when we do have time and the wanting to have sex some awesome hot wet sex!
We use to have swimming pools some only a foot and half deep a k**dy pool we use to lie in it on a warm summer evening after the k**s got out it was funny we were out in the wood we did not have any one close en... Continue»
Posted by fulltimeflirt 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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“wondering what he would do…”

“wondering what he would do…”

This post, inspired by a communication from a specific xhamster woman, is purely my fantasy, based upon a remarkably small number of private messages where she shared what she liked about my writing.

Chapter 1: Shake something at them...
SHE (starting from her perspective):
I can’t believe that I’m actually flying to Atlanta to check out this kinky “Emorymed” guy from xhamster (Wonder what his real name is?). What started as a passing curiosity, evolved to email exchanges, 'make me blush' photos, skype and now, finally, “in the flesh”. Although w... Continue»
Posted by emorymed 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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