Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 105

University of Gays: Faggotry 101

TEACHING YOU TO BE GAY!!

So loser, I know you want Me to teach you how to be a full blown gay sissy bitch. Follow these crucial lifestyle steps and daily rituals and you are sure to transform from a "man" into a slutty, submissive homosexual!  These changes and rituals will help reprogram your thinking by introducing really queer habits into your daily routine!! Be My fag... it is your ultimate destiny.  You were born to be gay so now it's time to act it out!

RITUALS & LIFESTYLE CHANGES:

- Feminine Grooming: Shave every other day. YES EVERY DAY BITCH!!  This means no stubble whatsoev... Continue»
Posted by faggitkiki 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 290  |  
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The Taste Of Jealousy Part 1

Gym. 2:16 p.m.

"Since today you start weight training, there are a few machines that I want you to know that most of you will be trying today. Firstly, the Bicept Curls, is where you will be lifting weights, but since you are all only in grade eight, I surely hope most of you will be able to lift ten pounds," Mr. Richard said, looking at all of us while we all laughed and I grinned, elbowing my friend Shyla who yelped, rubbing her arm and giggled as I kept looking at the teacher and then at Matt, who was across the room, talking to his buddies and they laughed as his eyes turned to mine and... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 289  |  
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Hopeless romantic...

Well, since this is my very first post here, I know I will be screwing something up as I go along. Please bear with me.. :)

I am always a believer of strong relationship. No matter how rocky a relationship is, love will find it's way to unite the two hearts. Many of us may have different fetishes but I am pretty sure that this is for the pleasure of the other partner. You may share your husband and wife, make them your slave or anything that you can think of, but at the end of the day, both of you will be back together sharing the same love and remembering the vows that you have exchanged t... Continue»
Posted by Killroy17 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 289  |  
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E-TYPE CHRISTMAS-(true event)

I HAVE TO THANK RETROLOVER, as a result of talking with him, my memory was set back to Christmas DAy morning 1980 at 0134 me and Two Work Mates who i will call "TOM and DICK" were waiting for the Staff Coach to take us home, these coaches were either 24 or 82 seter jobs normaly. TOM says "Hay whats this coming our way" Dick "no Can`t be for us shorly" along came the usual coach driver exept hes driving my boy hood dream car the E-Type Jaguar Sports Car, For those who don`t know it, a two seater, the driver had not checked-in to see if there was anyone who needed it, he was aparently just passi... Continue»
Posted by THEFORBIDDENMAN 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 288  |  
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Sexy Fairytale part 6

Kristen had been right, the pleasant weather seemed to have melted away, and she was quite sure that it was going to be cold enough to snow by the time the sun was completely down. Naked, she ran through the woods, trying to heat up her body. When she saw a light through the trees, she immediately went towards it, heedless of where it might lead to as long as she could be warm and inside.

The wind picked up as she found herself standing in front of a huge castle, an iron gate swinging in the wind. Teeth chattering, she hurried up the stone walkway, banging on the huge double doors.

"Hell... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 7 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 286  |  
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Romance Comic Cover Stories - Chapter VII

Chapter VII – Their Armchair (based on Love Diary No. 41 cover, Orbit-Wanted, circa 1949)



I guess everyone has fantasies and fetishes, but how do you say about someone who wants to have sex in the armchair you just bought for your best friends because you felt envy of their ‘adventures’

Me and Charlotte just found this beautiful and stylish armchair as a gift for Keith and Donna, which were to move to a new house. The armchair was so awesome and fittable that we resisted till the last urge to buy it for ourselves an... Continue»
Posted by Victor2K 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 284

Bank Job

My job working for a temp agency was a lot of fun while I had it. I was
just out of college and looking for work in the film industry, and needed a
way to get myself food and shelter--a couple of luxuries I had grown
accustomed to over the years. The temp job was good for a guy in my
position--I often could pick my own hours, it never got boring (as I rarely
stayed at any one place more than a couple of weeks) and it paid pretty well,
especially since I usually got the higher paying word processing jobs. I
knew my way around computers and could do more with word processing programs
... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 283  |  
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Urgent

She reaches around and tugs him out of his boxers.
“Uh, Crowley’s Books… do you, what are ah… excuse me… what…”
“Really!” She wraps one leg around. “I used to work there. I was a leftover for a while, you know, a call-in? Fucking Simon, wanted to fucking castrate him sometimes. Does Barak still work there?”
And he’s unable to follow her words, following her smile, and strange figures emerge from her lips, a lipstick formed from the bl**d of saints and martyrs to her causes and it’s coming loose of her lip... Continue»
Posted by oluckyman 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 283  |  
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today horny?

a hot sommerday again and i also hot :
today i`m realy horny again ,
several times can feel my fat cock between my soft hairy legs ,
terribly hungry to make love , passionated long and deep with
a nice sexy and hairy natural woman , there gets wet and horny , like me .
there like to do it several times - in the morning , outdoor , when take shower or where ever we like it to do .
hungry to feel the mans hard dick and happy to feel his hotcum deep inside.....

where are you , the naughy , nyphomanic woman ,
to h... Continue»
Posted by alfisexy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 282

"I think I can" and I did....

_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_


I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 282  |  
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Chav lads bring in new cock for me

Jamie and Nicky turned up outside my bedroom window late one night. They wanted some fun, it was about 11pm, s****rs were in bed and parents still at work. I risked it as I was horny and snuck out of the house and went for a ride with the two bad lad studs in Nicky’s knackered but strangely sexy car.

We drove around for bit, I was sat in the back seat with Jamie and Nicky driving.

They were in their hoodie chav gear and I was wearing a tight white t shirt with hearts on it and a short white skirt. I had my hair my usual Maria style and my nose stud was in. I knew what we were doing so ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 281  |  
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Wasted a good cup of coffee lol

first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 281  |  
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1

we are at the summer house of us... near to beach, but far fromother ppl's eyes. no more house near to us... That is our secret place, no one knows, but us. we are swimming after midday.kissing eachother between the rocks... no one can hear our laughs...

then taking you on the sands, in my arms. you need to get oiled your delicious and salty skin. i am ready to help here :). you are laying down , and i am taking some oil in my hands. start to massage to your body.... to your muscles... you are getting relax under my touch. to your neck... to your back... to your waist(with a kiss)... to... Continue»
Posted by warcry01 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 281  |  
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Eating

Eating

Today is the day where we want to meet, you are ringing on the door and I open it. As greetings we kiss. Then we talk and watch a film. For that we are laying on the couch and you have your hand on my leg and my arm is around your shoulder.
The film is a kind of romantic comedy with a lot of kissing. During the watching your hand is wandering up and down my leg and remains on my dick and my hand is wandering down to your breasts and is knead it a bit. Then we kiss smoothly and we take off our shirts and I continue with your breasts. Then I take off your trouser and continue kissing ... Continue»
Posted by John9090 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 281  |  
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SPENT

Time to head to the gym. Shay and I work out regularly (of course you know this if you follow her hot blog. www.thegirlform.com ) It's about a 30 min drive and we don't always get to go together.
Today was one of those days. Every morning I wake up with the Hardest Cock ever. I mean what do you expect I sl**p next to the Shay Every night. I generally rub up on her pretty good and if she feels like giving me a treat she will FUCK me right then and there. Today was not one of those days, so I left the house with a raging hard on. She Loves this! and she knows she wields the power to ma... Continue»
Posted by peanutj 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 281  |  
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The Booty Inspector of the Old West (pt. 3)

The Booty Inspector pt. 3 by markfayer

“Freaky Felatio Foursome”


Dick and his intrepid Lieutenant, junior, had no sooner arrived at the Barnaby’s Circus Fairgrounds when they spied the performers’ ring of campers set about in a cozy circle, creating a small common open space for the freaks and Acrobats and other members of the Freak Parade.
“Alright, Dick, what’s our plan of Attack?” quipped Junior.
“Well…I figgur we just waltz into the Boxler b*o’s trailer, give them an offer they caint refuse—by which I mean they get to fornicate with our Nubian Amazons-in-tow in a no... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 9 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 281  |  
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An 'Ode to the Cock'

'Come on, what's so terrible about a young woman love of a man's Penis?'
I personally love the feel of one, especially when it lies in my hand.
The potential it bears as it lies on my hand, drooping gently over my hand's length, watching the purplish glans become exposed as the foreskin miraculously peels back, an involuntary action, due to it's owner contemplating my excitement' and as it hardens, it's an example of positive feedback.
Soon fully erect and it rises from my hand and assumes an incredible angle, I note a single dew-drop of seminal fluid leaks from its tiny slit, I look up a... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 279  |  
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The Party Mood


“What’s this?

Igot shouted waving the letter at his wife Her-Peas. She could see it looked official but as she hadn’t read it, couldn’t tell what it was even though her husband was wafting it around like some demented swan trying to take off.

“I don’t know dear, she smiled

“It’s only a letter from Pen.E. Sillen and Aunty Biotics they are planning to marry. It’s a big enough disgrace to the f****y that she married that Biotics bloke but a Sillen.

Igot was pacing up and down. He very rarely became ruffled and was normally a very smooth operator. That was one of the reasons Her-... Continue»
Posted by Cybertease 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 278  |  
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Hymn to Marc Doodle

Oh you,

You who are so
Full
Of the delicious
Sticky raisins

You who are the only one
To fill
My bowels
To quench
My itching sphincter

For you
I wait with open mouth
Toothless and smooth
To caress your poor
Sore and Four
Inch phallus
With Tongue lips and gum

"Marc"
The first and last word
On my mind when I
Explore
My intestines

Yearning
To be filled
With you
Anything
From you
Especially
The sticky raisins
That are your specialty

Together
Just think what we could do
Combined
Tongue lips gum and phallus
Combining
The excrement oozing from every pore
... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 2 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 283  |  
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RECIPE: HOW TO MAKE LOVE




Ingredients:


4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 soft, warm mixing bowl
1 Firm banana


Directions:


1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 277  |  
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