Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 105
I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
She was so warm, wet and willing as I eased into her after some serious stroking and arousal. I was standing tall and stiff, dribbling my juices as I got ready to dive in...
Then I awakened from my wet dream to find my appendage slowly waking up. I was still stiff and ready but I was just morning wood - too bad Big Head didn't score a warm fuzzy snatch for me to perform with, but that's not unusual. Me, I can make a woman moan but Big Head keeps blowing it so I spend too many nights just flopping around.
Now the big appendage that carries me around is up and headed for the bathroom. ... Continue»
I saw this on someone else page and they're always interesting so I figured what the hell...
What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
Lips, but I enjoy being kissed all over...
What’s your favorite color lingerie?
Personally, I don't wear it, however, black or red, if it's on a lady...
What color panties are you wearing?
Blue Boxers, not into ladies underwear, unless it'#s on a lady...lol...
What’s your favorite sexual position?
Woman on top...
Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
Whipped cream, defo...
Do you prefer sex beneath the sheets or o... Continue»
Alright people this is my first attempt at a short story and it came from the help of an xhamster friend, thanks "Mouthlove"
I would choose the one next to her with the sensual and sexy face and the piercing eyes. Now how would like for her to please me well I would have to say while we were at a private night club and we had a semi secluded table and we had been flirting and teasing each other immensely and so she tells me to sit back and relax and she has a gift and surprise for me so she slides down my body and lowers my zipper and pulls out my cock and slowly starts to lick around the ... Continue»
She was beautiful, tall for a female for she was around six feet; with the most gorgeous pair of legs he had ever seen. Her hair was long enough to cover her breasts and tickle the bottom of her rib cage with the ends of it; her hair was thick, glossy, and the color of milk chocolate. God how he wanted to run his fingers through it and feel it brush against his skin like a blanket of the finest silk. Yet, as beautiful as her body was, it was her eyes that captured, and held, him. They were a deep forest green with a dark ring of gray around the pupils. They were eyes that boldly met his own ba... Continue»
Cindy moaned softly as Dane slipped two fingers inside of her. She felt the familiar ripples of orgasm overwhelm her senses, body tightening around his digits, juices dripping onto his hand. She stood there, rigid as his fingers worked their magic, rubbing and caressing her secret places.
She looked down at him sitting in front of her, arm muscles tensed, and saw the predatory gleam in his eyes, he wanted her... NOW... She whimpered at this, remembering the other times he had made her cum until it felt like her head would explode. He seemed to be holding back now, teasing her, his fingers ... Continue»
I awoke with a start 2 hours later and quickly looked around, he was sitting in the chair in just his boxer shorts watching the sport, I sighed as I rested my head back down on the pillow, it had not been a dream, I really was with him but I also realised that the wine contributed to my collapse but I felt totally rested, I also realised that I was in the bed as he had covered me up in bed , I curled up in the bed happy to be with him and watched him, he turned and looked at me then came over then bent and kissed me, I felt so relaxed as I reached up and curled my arm aroun... Continue»
I hope you can see the humor in this one, and don't let it happen to you...originally posted under BrianDamage...
I Woke Up With A Fat Chick
I woke up and couldn't believe my eyes,
When I caught sight of those monster thighs,
Was that a cow that was sucking my dick?
No, I woke up with a very fat chick.
The sight of her got me thinking,
I really should give up drinking,
As if I needed a reason why,
I should also stop getting high.
Looking at this gruesome sight,
I tried to recall what I did last night,
How did I possibly wind up with her?
But my mind was simpl... Continue»
I have to be fast any second it can change the whole motion and I will be out off sync. I turn over and move myself in a position it will be easy to go deep just the way I like.
When I push hard in one thrust as deep as I can and in the meanwhile reaching out for the breast to grab the nipple I know this will make the difference so I can penetrate all the way, even it will hurt for just a second.
I stick high up my curved ass towards his stiff cock to feel him going even deeper, I moan loud if he squeezes my left breast and pulling my swollen nipple.
The sensation of feeling the tip o... Continue»
Two posts in a week… Maybe I’ve rediscovered my muse!?!? Though more likely is a certain ‘reader’ chastising me for being so lapse lol, either way I think I should blog about our most recent ‘visitor’.
For reasons that are not all that cryptic, I will call this one ‘nipples’ (both to protect his identity and as a good mental reminder for me). We met, as many of my conquests do, on an adult social networking site.
Very laid back, not at all pushy, easy going, genuine bloke, who seemed to grasp the whole concept of NSA fun, he has at least 10 years on me but... Continue»
there bodies were drapped in a golden hue they had tattos of other woman on there bodies the images were almost alive like they could reach out and touch you see this i payed no attention to the first time because lights were off and my mind was feeled with such sexual passion that i did nt notice these things but when it came to the light i def... notice that they were different you see these were woman of the rain , of water meaning that there non existing but they are because ,i can see them ,i can smell them ,and i sure as hell can feel them so call it what you will .My Golden Godess "... Continue»
Virginia Ross, 21, unemployed, would like to be a ..., but the men in town are all too familiar or then too ugly. So she has always an eye on the good-looking tourist that appear from time to time. And even when her game of seducement isn't always working out, in her erotic fantasies she never looses a good hanky-panky. Here is her favourite one:
I'm just hanging in the half-empty hotel bar, I'm sipping my last beer as this handsome young tourist suddenly comes in. He spots me instantly and offers me a drink. I'm very grateful and offer, to play a game of pool with him. I'm very good at p... Continue»
(Mark rushes home to her bedroom for lunch)
Mark called home, his meeting had been canceled and he decided to come home for lunch. Of course, with an hour's drive to get home, he hoped it would actually be lunch and a whole lot more. The k**s were at school and it had been a while since him and his wife had done anything, so Mark was hopeful.
Allison knew exactly how to serve lunch, and it had very little to with cooking or food. Fully aware of the opportunity, she changed out of her everyday clothes, noticing how firm her nipples already were and seeing the tell-tale damp spot in her pa... Continue»
'niether is he! 'alexandras master yells.alexandra and i turn to see our beloved masters.' master!' we shout.'dont get so full of yourself leon' james laughed'same to you cathrine' said kiki. james walks up to me and puts the gun to my head.'tisk tisk,i still cant belive you threw it all away.' james sighed. james slowly reloaded the gun,wich was already loaded, to give it more power.he put it back to my head.'NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!DONT HURT HER!!!' alexandra scremt thrashing about in his bonds.' HA! isnt this sweet!alexandra has fallin in love with her!HA!'james laughed.kiki laughed her gun pointed ... Continue»
Theatrical………30, the conclusion,
Del turned but it was too late for her as well as another guy behind us picked her up and took her into the stall, there was one other guy with him and they took her close to the wall, tied her hands then hooked her to a hanging block and tackle, one of the guys pulled on the rope and her arms were lifted over her head,
one of the guys knelt down in front of her and pulled down her shorts, she seemed to be struggling but I noticed that as he got her shorts to her feet she lifted her leg voluntarily so that he could get them off, he put his hands round her... Continue»
I did a porn movie just before Xmas last year! Now why would you think that anyone would want to see a sixty-six year old male doing silly things naked with two other guys? Well they do and they pay to see these things.
It was all very surreal when you consider that I went down to Bournemouth to do it; I would not consider Bournemouth to be a centre for too many things, let alone porn movies of gay old farts in full flight.
I was picked up at the railway station and in that moment I had met the cameraman, producer, director, sound man, lighting man, Foley artist, hairdresser, make up c... Continue»
One of my favorite drinks is the jagerbomb, for those of you who never had this drink , it when you mix red bull and jager together . I know the Germans must haven taken the lost in WWII in good spirit because they made one hell of a liquor with Jagermeister. It one night and a crazy booty call to make this drink shoot to the top of my all time favorite list of drinks .
I was living back in NYC in 2008 , and I been talking to this cute dark skin latina woman , I think I meet her on tagged , or one of those social media sites . I had her cell number and talk to her about meeting up . She fin... Continue»
me being da dj n at my party was djing most the night sow these sexy lokkin chicks evrywere but this 1 she looked at my eyes gave me da fck me look looking up n down at me sorta thing like anyways im drimnking smoking having a gd time then this gawjus looking gal comes upto me and ses if u do a shot of tiquila i will get off with u so i sed y not then thois gawjus gal starts sexy kissin me on the couch wee cant stop kissing she grabs my hand takes me to my room so we doing the sexykissin n she puts me straight agenst da wall she den kisses down my chest unbuttoning my zib she then puts her ... Continue»
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street .
He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.
"are you just about ready dear?" Linda inquired as she put the last of her face on.
"I am, sweet heart, we'd better get going or we're going to be late," Braxton retorted as he cinched his tie into place and gave it the usual wiggle to make sure we wasn't going to choke. "Alright sweetie, going to get the car, I'll be waiting for you out front." yes sir, she smirked as he fled out of the door.
She then grabbed her hand bag and made her way out of the front door, where her car and super handsome driver awaited. However just as she was about to open the door, Braxton in a flash had ... Continue»