Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 105
In our place, there is one quack doctor as I can say. We locally called this "manghihilot", whenever we have some kind of sickness that medical doctors can not cure, we turn to them for cure. They usually use oil and oration and other amulets that drives sickness or bad spirits away. They usually do "hilot" or a type of curative massage that focuses on relieving bodily pains and sickness.
Our "manghihilot" is known in our area since I was a c***d, during that time he is on his 50s or something. Until now, he still performs "hilot" and at his age, which I assume at around 80s, is still ... Continue»
Batgirl was out in gotham it had been a long night and she was ready to head home as nothing much was going on. Just then something caught her eye a shadow in the next street.
She moved stealthy over and knelt down peering around the corner, she saw harley quinn trying to break in to the back of a jewelers store, batgirl sighed thinking she was in the mood for this but moved round the corner sneaking up behind harley.
"need a hand there harley" batgirl said, harley jumped around "no im ok thank's" she said with a cheeky smile, "oh cut that out right now I don't have time for this im taki... Continue»
Hey, y'all, what's up?... :)
First of all, since this is the introduction of some incredible stuff I want to share to you...let me introduce myself:
- I'm 31 yo;
- I live in Europe;
- I'm really into my job;
- I love sports;
- I lllllove women. :)
I was thinking this days...which would be the secret of happiness for a man? That 1 billion dollars question, whose answer would REALLY make a guy happy?...
Would that be...
how can I be rich?
how can I get a nice car?
how can I eat without getting fat? - this just might be the 1 billion dollars question for a woman...:)) but, altho... Continue»
Dorothy and Leandra stood there silent, then a slate of rock moved down, opening up a way out of the circle of rocks that imprisoned them.
"Well theres the way out what do we do Dorothy"
"I don't know Leandra, we have to decided before they trap us here forever"
Leandra went over and grabbed their things. Picking up their clothes and her bag. She brought them over to the opening and tossed them out. She stood there looking out at the freedom her clothes had, but she still felt trapped. She didn't want to make the decision. Maybe her and Dorothy could come up with a way to get out. Th... Continue»
Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)
AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!
I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!
My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
HOW THEY HAVE SEX
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest ... Continue»
"Strip," I said.
"What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?"
"I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads."
"Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Strip," I said.
She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood before me and she was quite simply stunning. She wore a white blouse. The material sheer a... Continue»
"Umm... well," he hesitated only for a moment because he had his side of the story already figured out. He realized it would come to this, so he had a plan in mind. "Your son insisted that he come to the concert with us, even though we warned him to follow your rules. On the way to the concert he got pulled over for speeding. The cop searched your car and found his d**gs."
"My son doesn't do d**gs! He said those were yours!" she exclaimed.
"Sorry, but he's just trying to lay the blame on someone else," he replied smugly.
"How dare you accuse my son of being a liar," she said angrily.
I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.
1. Do you do guys?
As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.
2. Do you do girls?
Yes. Of all ages.
3. What are your views on i****t?
Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
Watching her in the shower is a thrill, the slow fall of water flowing down her caramel skin legs, wr****g around those perfectly toned thighs long lean, graceful every move of the wash cloth over her flat stomach, bubbles gathering in her belly button praying to call it home, with her quick spin on the heels of her feet they are whipped away, shoulders elegantly dropped feeling the water rush over her short light brown hair, with soap on her face I make my move, open the door and slip right in, standing from behind my hands firmly grasp her arms and slide down to her hands fingers interlock, ... Continue»
This story was between me and Sheetal (Name Changed) – a beauty with brain. Her figure was like 34-30-36 and she was really fair and her height was like 5 foot 5 inch and I am tall, athletic and handsome.
I saw Sheetal first at Chicago Airport travelling to Mumbai and then at that time I decided if not sex at least have friendship with her. She was arguing to have window seat but unfortunately it was full. So I asked the lady at the airline I will like to give her mine.
Initially she was apprehensive to have it but late
So, we'd been wed for more than a week now..the love was blossoming but we had not managed to get our inhibitions out of the way and get down to business if you know what I mean. Mr P and I had met online, and after a 5 month long-distance relationship I fell for his dry sense of humor and sexy deep voice. I am an attractive woman and my ladies are a 36 C and I haven't ever shied away from showing off my cleavage and watching men stare ;) ..
House was full of relatives post wedding meant we had not managed to get anywhere apart from me staring at his hard manhood poking through his jammies a... Continue»
Nikki was the first to blow. S/he caught me square in the eye.
"Oh! I'm cumming," s/he shouted.
That caused a chain reaction. Francesca splashed me on one side while Zaza got me on the other.
"Fuck!' shouted Nick in frustration. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
"I'm OK!" I assured Dennis.
"Now what do we do?" asked Zaza.
And with that one of Gigi's favorite movies popped into my head.
"Come on everybody! It's like what Judy Garla... Continue»
The Italian Job 18
I have re-submitted this one after some confusion, so if it crops up again, just ignore it, this one may be a bit of a tear jerker so ladies have your hankies ready.
Several weeks past and all was relatively quiet but I was troubled, something was bugging me and I could not make up my mind, I said nothing to Ellie but finally succumbed and went to Genoa, I knew the address and parked outside, I sat in the car for an hour trying to get up the courage to go and knock on the door, finally I went to the door, I knocked and a tall elegant middle aged Italian woman answered th... Continue»
“Your hands, your mouth are to be helpers to my cock, as are those of your s****r!
She has made me cum, with her hands and mouth, more times than I can count!
At command, she hardens me, strokes me, licks, sucks, until the inevitable end of her skills, and then, what do you think happens? What do you suppose I do?
I shoot my cum, my semen, on her face. That is my greatest pleasure, but not by any means my only one. But soon, you will see for yourself what I will require from you”.
I will make no comment on the above variant version of the Marquis de Sade, except to say that it is ... Continue»
Interview with Caroline Laurence on filming "La Vénus á Lulu" - 1991 Dir: D. Losset
Interview with Michel Legrand - "Le Filme" magazine... August 1992.
: How did you get the role as Venus in this film?
: My agent phoned me & said there was a role in a TV film calling for a slim Nordic-looking girl.... BUT...........I'd have to be naked through most of it & have to act with little boys, no sexual bits, very tasteful & directed by Daniel Losset as a 'Jacques Tati-style' comedy, just be naked for most of the scenes, although discretely filmed & covered by scener... Continue»
The Italian Job 24
Maria and I went back to the hotel, we went to the room and she decided she would like to go to the pool for a nap in the sun,
I rang Ellie and told her what had happened with Eduardo, she was very sympathetic and asked if Maria was ok and how I was getting on with her, I told her everything was fine and not to fret,
I still loved her, I think she just needed to hear me say it, I changed into my swimmers and went down to the pool, a young guy was sitting on a sunbed next to Maria who was laid on a sunbed, she had her eyes closed, she had her bikini on but I was not sur... Continue»
Right then… in my ‘pretty woman I am not’ post I mentioned 2 other ‘gentlemen callers’ that had recently made my acquaintance. Well in this entry I am going to fill you all in on the second one. As with the first, my inspiration for nicknames has for some reason or another vanished, and as he already said he really didn’t want to be called ‘cutting-in’ (suggested for a couple of reasons… all of which clever I thought) I needed to go back to the ‘sex-inspired’ drawing board. I kind of had the feeling that I should try and incorporate an element from the film ‘indecent proposal’ but was bugge... Continue»
6. In A Haze
As Lizvette cradled my head at her breasts, letting me drift in and out of my lover's haze, her eyes explored the boat. After several minutes of silence, she said quietly. "It would be fun to have a boat like this, daddy. Are they very expensive?" I opened my eyes and lifted my face from between her pillowy, expectant mother's breasts and looked at her. "You know I have a baby on the way, right? I really don't have money for a cabin cruiser right now. I have to start another college fund."
"Poor daddy. I bet you didn't know how expensive I was going to be, did you!" She thou... Continue»