Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 104

Cyber-sex

Introduction: This one's pretty long, but in my opinion its well worth the read once you get to the end.

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high h... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Dominant Bather

He stands, staring down into the clear pool seeing reflections of others. Others that he has known and some he only wished he had known. His thoughts are not the clear thoughts of a man in true consideration of events gone by, but a cyclone of pictures like the vision one is said to have before dying. He is not dying, he is very much alive and in complete control. His heart beats at a rhythm he is himself imposing. As the rhythm increases so does the cyclone of thought. What is seen doesn’t matter anymore as long as the rhythm is kept. His eyes are now clenched shut; grinding teeth, clear pear... Continue»
Posted by Testdriver 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Secretary

Seymour Shaft, disgraced cop turned private detective was trying to open his emails. He was not having much success. He kept hitting the wrong keys and now he had locked himself out with his password protection.
This was all happening because he was finding it hard to concentrate. It’s not easy to work a computer if you are getting blown at the same time.
Seymour’s secretary was one hot bitch and she was also one dirty bitch. One thing she really loved doing was sucking dick. That and sitting on faces. She was having a fun time at that moment, squatting between the detective’s legs, pe... Continue»
Posted by sirspunky 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Where are you ?

I was really hoping that I could have you next to me doing as you command, granting your every wish right now, twisting your G-spot like hurricane katrina. Smacking my cock right at the tip of your of wet lips. You feel me? Mmm your moan feeds my hunger, my hunger grows with each waking breath, while your legs lay wrapped around my neck squeezing tighter, as pleasure has overwhelmed your body. Your lips touch mine, as my fingers run through your hair. Sweat covers the both of us as the heat from our connection grows stronger, your juices engulf my mouth with a taste of pure pleasure.... Continue»
Posted by in2ideas44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Dominate You, Punish Me!


I feel your hand stroke my shoulder and your finger tips graze the tops of my breasts then cup the undersides. . When you begin to nip and lick the spot where my neck meets my shoulder, goose bumps spring to the surface of my skin and I can't hold back a moan. My hips push back against you and my nipples pebble into hard little points.

Your not inside me yet....but I can feel your rigid erection between my buttocks. You slap my ass; hard, almost too hard. It stings and hurts, but the electricity shoots through my body in an instant and I feel it surge all across my back, down my arms and... Continue»
Posted by jadeandjasmin 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Pizza

It was Saturday, alone. There was nothing going on but the sickening sight of Big b*****r torturing 8 house mates over a glass of water or so it seemed. This intellectual exercise was going way over my head and I was in desperate need of something a little more down to earth. But what is more down to earth than a pizza and a porno flick? Ah, yes! But what... but what do I want on the pizza? Pineapple? Mushroom? Sweetcorn? HA! HA! I'll get all three - Pineapple! Mushroom! & Sweetcorn! Better yet, I'll get everything - the works!

With shaking hands and trembling fingers, I picked up the telep... Continue»
Posted by bbwlovar 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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random sexy questions to ask yourself

-if you could have any piece of medical equiptment what would it be? who would you use it on? and what would you do to them?
-what part of the body (other than penis vagina breasts etc) turns you on most when touched?
-what part of the body (including penis vagina breasts etc) turns you on most when touched?
-what object do you use (if any) to masturbate?
-where is the weirdest place you have ever had sex?
-how many times (be honest) have you had sex?
-if straight have you ever had a homosexual experience?
-who is your favourite person to fantasise about?
-who did you lose your virgini... Continue»
Posted by eskimokissesxx 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Hot & Cold

Same gist. The first part is for buildup and character development, so if you’re only here for the sex, hit CTRL+F and enter “SEX STARTS HERE” or scroll down to that. Cheers! Please leave comments/critique!

Snowflakes fell from the sky periodically, but few and far between. The air was chilled and not a soul was in sight. All in all, it was a typical yet lonely winter scene.
My teeth chattered as I clung my skeleton-like fingers to the wheel, mumbling something about her being damn lucky. I was on the way to visit an old friend who recently went through a tough break-up. I hadn't ever tal... Continue»
Posted by soniclemon 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Ace in the Hole

Ace Baxter was named after Ace Cannon the famous saxophonist, adored by his father who played his records from morning ’till night and who wanted his son to take up the instrument and become a professional musician. Unfortunately Baxter the younger turned out to be tone deaf and ended up with a job washing glass receptacles in a laboratory.

During his short tenure with the Wittislow d**g Company they made a remarkable break through that shook the world and delighted the intelligence community beyond belief. Known as the Wittislow Truth d**g it threatened to revolutionize the questioning of ... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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By the Way

The steamy water from the hot tub warms my naked body as I immerse myself up to my shoulders. I tilt my head back and rest it on the edge of the tub as I take in a deep breath of the crisp evening air. I reach one hand up to caress my nipple the other stretches down between my legs as I begin to lose myself in a sexual fantasy.

Feeling a presence I turn my head and see you standing there. With a big smile you raise up a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. I push through the water to the edge of the tub where you are standing. “Looks like a very good year” I say as I blush and playful... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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NYMPHOCOM - ch 01

The Mind Control Machine - ch01

Disclaimer : I am not a native English speaker so please don't hesitate to correct me if there are sentences which are not understandable !

Please comment/flame as appropriate !


Prologue

Controlling somebody else's mind has always been a common fantasy throughout the ages. Nothing is more fascinating than to have other human beings obeying your will without any restriction even at the risk of their own life. Many scientists have tried to uncover the secrets of the brain but so far our most complex organ has remained a mystery. We know that th... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Chased by Girls - going back opition

"I'm coming!" you shout.

You know perfectly well you'll probably just end up getting caught but there's no way you're leaving Melissa behind. Once you get to her, you help her up and then, supporting her with your shoulder, get ready to start running again when suddenly Doe, alone, comes crashing through the forest at the top of the rise.

"Now I've got y-OH SHIT!"

She stumbles off the top and lands hard on the ground, clutching her ankle. Ironically she seems to have befallen the same injury as Melissa.

"God dammit, that hurt," she curses, unable to stand up. Then she looks up ... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Dark Domination-Women In Charge

i believe in traditional ways as well as exploring sexuality with women who dont fit into a mold or model, but are willing or desiring to let loose that inner woman.

I enjoy intimacy with a woman and not just sex. I take married women, but only after a she reveals how long its been since shes had sex. it says she wants a lover and id rather be that one, and not some tool who would use her as a piece of meat.

Some women say they get sex 1x week or 1x month for 10 min by king of queens type guys, who were great at first but now dont like their hairiness, giving them oral, or if they gain ... Continue»
Posted by asianflyer 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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ghost sex

this is fiction.. it would be funny if it did happen to someone but its still fiction.. hope you like this story

back in the 1920s an old man lived call him hank.. well hank liked all types of sex and had sex all the way up until he died.. he actually came before he went..so now this house is haunted by him and its ok but he is one horny ghost.. this is what happen to me and a friend of mine about two years ago..

we were watching tv and she asked me if we wanted to have sex..(she didnt know about hank).. i told her sure why not..so we went to my room and got naked..i started to kiss her ... Continue»
Posted by bliebent 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Friends: More Sex-Ed for Chandler

Chandler walked into Rachel and Monica's apartment one morning, with a look of obvious frustration on his face. Monica was sitting at the kitchen table eating toast and orange juice.

"Hey there, lover boy. How are things going with Kathy?" she teased.

The week before, the roommates had given Chandler some "tips" on pleasing Kathy, with Monica coaching as Chandler practiced on Rachel.

"Oh fine," he said disgusted. "Is Rachel here?"

"No, she's already at work at Bloomingdales. What's up?"

"Well, it's just that... okay... Kathy's been... agreeing with me... A LOT during sex... you ... Continue»
Posted by dudeman_85 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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By the Way



The steamy water from the hot tub warms my naked body as I immerse myself up to my shoulders. I tilt my head back and rest it on the edge of the tub as I take in a deep breath of the crisp evening air. I reach one hand up to caress my nipple the other stretches down between my legs as I begin to lose myself in a sexual fantasy.

Feeling a presence I turn my head and see you standing there. With a big smile you raise up a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. I push through the water to the edge of the tub where you are standing. “Looks like a very good year” I say as I blush and pl... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My Stranger Fantasy

I'm watching you swim in the lake as I sip my drink. You don't know that I've been watching you every evening since you moved in. I don't even know your name, but it doesn't matter. I watch the muscles ripple across your chest and down your arms as you stroke over and over again swimming in the lake.

It makes my pussy clench just thinking of those muscles rippling as you thrust into me. As you swim back to shore and walk up to the towel you left with your clothes, I think of walking up to you and stripping out of my skirt and blouse. I watch in hunger as you dry off every inch of your body... Continue»
Posted by kap007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A Pleasurable Night

I was dusting and happened to come across this story my fiancé wrote. It was in a bondage book of mine. Some of what you about to read is true and actually happened. I wasn't aware of all that happened though-at the salon and at the mall. Just read for yourself.


A Night Out...Of Pleasure


Our day started by going to the salon. We are greeted by one of the stylists. She asks you what we are there for. I speak up: “Manicure and pedicure, shampoo and possible low lights...for her.” She smiles and looks at you: “Okay, follow me.” You two walk away and she places a vinyl wrap around you ... Continue»
Posted by banghimgood 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Roma Revenge I: The Metamorphosis

This is the first part of my second novel. See my profile for details.
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I: THE METAMORPHOSIS
My name is Shawna. At least, according to my driver’s license it is. I used to be Shawn Milner, a relatively successful businessman with a bit of a drinking habit. I had lived as Shawn for twenty-seven very satisfied years, taking what I wanted from life and giving it my charming company in return. Even when that company was unwanted.
I was handsome, bold, strong… I really had it all. Not that I didn’t work hard at some of it; it takes more than wishful thinking and good genes to earn a squa... Continue»
Posted by WriterJim 7 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Life ..

I sit here naked at my laptop typing away telling this narrative. It is a bit of history as I know it.

I have been contacted by a young guy that wants to be with an older male and this is not unusual, I have had the pleasure of many young men in the past few years, the youngest being eighteen years of age, or so I was told. I understand now he was a bit younger and I don't know his name or anything so it is irrelevant but good.

I have done all the right things, had a shave and a shower, douched out my arse so there are no nasties around, put a bit of smelly stuff on and lubed up... Continue»
Posted by AussieJonno 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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