Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 104

some where over the rainbow

It started just like every other day, nice and warm, sun was shinning, wind softly blowing threw the windows, another beautiful day was starting. I had already packed the lunch we were going to have, and tea's were packed as well, you hear me humming in the kitchen, and you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me, and kiss my neck, i spin around and smile and softly slap you and tell you that you scared the hell out of me, but i love you anyway, you look around and see everything is packed up, you smile and ask if i packed the bread as well, i open the basket, and there it was right n... Continue»
Posted by tonyandkat 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Business of Pleasure


Excuse me Miss, Is this your shop???"

er, yes, Yes it is, can I help. Pip looked over at the man at the shop
entrance tall, stocky, suited & booted. He was carrying a clipboard and
looked official.

"Can I see your shop agreement & confirmation of business forms, please"
He spoke politely but firmly.
"Have you just opened??"

Yes. Pip replied

"and how long has that been...." a stern look

just a week now.....

"The forms then please, I have no notification that you have right to be open
or to sell or serve customers!" a Very stern look now on his face

Oh, er... Continue»
Posted by verystickyfingers 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bad-Girl Sex Tricks (For Girls Only)

Bad girls are legendary - a guy who’s been with one practically passes out from bliss when he talks about his experience. You might be thinking, “Who, me? Be a bad girl?” But any woman who wants to can wake up her hibernating vixen...and have a damn good time doing it!

See, bed-devil status is about a fearless attitude, not how much sexual experience you have or whether you wear leather. “Guys dig when women are unbridled and uninhibited, push their own boundaries, break the rules, and ask for what they want,” says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. So ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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the truck

it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Posted by wja1291 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Some things I 'Do' Like

Cum drops on noses and stories well written
Sensual kisses will have me quite smitten
Hard bulging packages, fun with no strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Creamy filled pussies and tongues in my anus
Light hearted spanking as long as it's painless
Fun with my toy and the joy that it brings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls in tight dresses with sexy eye lashes
But NO fakes or skinny rakes or vulgar pumped gashes
Beds with 4 posters and reinf***ed springs
These are a few of my favourite things

Concealed love bites......
Sexy playfights....
When I'm f... Continue»
Posted by oh_so_horny 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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THE SEX LIFE OF AN ELECTRON

One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to find a cute little coil to saturate. He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode over Wheatstone bridge, around the sine waves, and stopped by a flowing current.
They walked over to Magnetic field and sat down. Micro-Farad, attracted by Milli-amp’s characteristic curves, soon had her resistance at a minimum, and her field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowering her resistance still more, and then hr pulled out his hi-voltage probe. He inserted it in... Continue»
Posted by fred269 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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3 Girls In A Cafe Part 1

Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
---

"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
Posted by milli214 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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If I Had One of Those

If I had one of those I’d play with it all the time. I’d tease it and I’d pamper it. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for it. I’d use it every way I could think of. It’d be VERY MUCH worth it…
I’d show it off. “Hey, look what I’ve got!” I’d use it to tease all the boys. I’d wear really short skirts and the highest high heels, and I’d swing my hips just so, as only a real woman can. I’d spend a lot of time sitting in places where the boys walked by. I might even whistle at them! I’d be such a slut! When a really cute guy walked by I’d smile at him and open my legs to let him see ... Continue»
Posted by Volfy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah the exhibitionish, Story 5

My ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend is now really pi**ed off by this blog about her. Well, let me see if I can annoy him even more, by telling all you guys about how she flaunted her naked body to two guys.

I used to be a keen amateur photographer and for my birthday, Sarah agreed to model for me at a photographic studio in the city of Bath, in the UK.

She said ‘Let’s take a bottle of wine with us. I loose my inhibitions a lot more after a drink or two’. Oh boy, did she! We arrived at the studio and were greeted by the two guys who ran it, one old, one in his 20’s. They had set the photographic... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Flying High! - Short Story

Mona Lindley, 29, single, international sales manager, travels a lot. She doesn't like men too much, despises kissing, is disgusted by touching dicks and hates warm sperm trickling down her thighs. But she uses men for her sexual satisfaction, and should there be none around her at the moment, she endulges always in her own erotic fantasies!

The golden sun sinks tired into the soft bed of clouds and the veil of the night draws over it to keep him warm. The contant vibration and the numbing hum of the heavy jet engines are lulling my senses. I made a bit of small talk with the guy next to ... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Little Johnny

Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma. He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.
Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."
Little Johnn...y thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"
... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Dead Rosed

I haven't been able to sl**p lately. I started a new shift at work, and it seems like the world is always asl**p, while I'm awake at crazy hours,

working hard to afford the life I want us to live. I never wanted her to feel like I didn't care about her needs, because I do. I guess I just have trouble

exspressing how I feel sometimes. But i do it all for her. I do it all for us. She says I don't try hard enough to make time for her. She says that I

concern myself too much with money, and the things I think we "need". But I'm just trying to provide. I heard her talking in her sl**p ... Continue»
Posted by javabot9000 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Who'd be in your ideal movie? Please read!

I'd love to see a lesbian film featuring Roxanne Pallet from Emmerdale and Helen Flanagan from Coronation Street. To those of you reading this who don't know who they are, just google their names, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Just imagine the 2 of them dressed in school uniforms eating each other out. Fucking amazing!
Now, as stunning as they may be, they are basically "normal" girls. It would be easy to say that you'd love to see Beyonce having her clit licked by Rihanna...(there's a thought!) Come on, boys and girls. I really want to hear who yo... Continue»
Posted by mrharvey 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Morning sex improves mood, health

According to the research, adults who make love first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system.

The study suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door.

Not only does it make them less likely to catch a cold or flu, it can also improve the quality of their hair, skin, and nails.

"Having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Night of Bad Sex


The night before we had been watching the film The Pianist illuminated on her bedroom wall. I had been making appropriate and thoughtful comments throughout until they had thrown the disabled man, wheelchair and all, off a third floor balcony. “They’re only showing the bad bits,” I said. “Oh they should show all the good bits should they?” she asks in a sharp revoke. I say nothing more for a while.

Then the Russians came. The last Germans units were killed or fled the ruined city as it was liberated, and the pianist had lived through it all to play the tale. We had sex later. Emot... Continue»
Posted by Josef_K 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Italian Job 8

The Italian Job 8
The second part of this tale involves the interpreter “I know, I know” I can hear you all saying “Oh not another fucking interpreter” but hear me out and draw your own conclusions after.
Mrs Chikolova was supposed to be our interpreter for the duration of the job but it turned out that she could hardly speak any English although she could read it but no one else could speak any English so no one knew she couldn’t, to look at her you would have thought she was a middle aged spinster but she was indeed married, she was in the habit of wearing dark blue dresses that had small ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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christmas joke

3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols... Continue»
Posted by diver1uk2003 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical.....17

Theatrical…..17

We went into the theatre and into the bar, I saw him almost immediately, he was standing talking to another man, the guy must have been in his late fifties, he nodded but made no move, he had a drink in his hand, Julia saw him and started to move towards him,
I caught her arm, “wait” I said, “why, he’s over there” she said, “I know and he has seen us so when he is ready he will either speak to us here or in the theatre” I said, “but why don’t we just go over and talk to him” she said, “because sweetheart, his wife died about 6 months ago and if that man is a friend of his ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Evening Refreshment – Breastfeed By Anita Ma



Morning 7:00 am college lectures till 1:30, then lunch and back to hostel; in evening some light refreshment and sports time. This was used to be my daily routine when I was in one of the reputed boarding college of Chhattisgarh. Let me introduce to my lovely lady Anita madam who was our biology teacher. She too has a average height of 5 feet, skin complexion black with a voluptuous figure of 32-30-34. She always used to wear sari and she had long hairs and used to keep one strand of hair in front of her face which always would... Continue»
Posted by bava12 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Be My Girl

I was blue and lonely,
I couldn’t sl**p a wink
And I could only get u*********s
If I’d had to much to drink

There was somehow, something wrong somewhere,
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation
Were growing in my head

I needed inspiration,
A brand new start in life,
Somewhere to place affection,
But I didn’t want a wife

And then by lucky chance I saw
In a special magazine
An ad that was unusual,
The like I’d never seen,

’experience something different
With our new imported toy,
She’s loving, warm, inflatible
And... Continue»
Posted by KarlVonWillebrand 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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