Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 104
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street .
He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.
I am way to scared to go dogging and can be a bit shy to go to gay venues but I have needs and as a sub bottom I really do need to be comprehensively shagged; the more often the better.
Some time ago I went to a 'north' London sauna once and when I walked in the door the fellow at the counter asked me if I realised it was a Gay sauna. I am a very straight looking guy and if you thought I was gay you may say a very dominant top, but the truth lies elsewhere.
I told the young fellow that I realised what the establishment provided and after the payment of the obligatory £14 I went in.
Srinu mera naam, meri middle class f****y me mom, dad, didi sindhu
aur choti behan priyaanka(priya) ek chote se ghar me rehte the. Mom
dad dono employers the didi ki marriage ho gayi thi, priya school ke
final exam likh chuki hi. Mai ghar ke paas hi apni degree kar raha
hun, lekin kahaani sirf meri choti behan priya ki hi.
Priya ko nursery se aaj tak residencial school me hi padhaaya gaya
tha, isi kaaran sab use bohut laad karte the, f****y se door rehne se
use ghar ki tameej maloom nahi thi aur wo itni jiddi thi ki uski baat
ke saamne kuch nahi chalta tha, jitni jiddi thi utni sundar ... Continue»
We rested awhile, lying in the soft grass under a warm spring sun. It was my idea of a perfect place to fuck. I imagined how going to this place as a teen would have made me grow up a very different person.
Soon, we started the walk back toward camp. We stopped several times, and Max pointed out some of the interesting flowers and trees around us. At one stop, Max turned to face the side of the trail and started to pee into a bush. He held his cock casually in one hand and just let it flow.
“I wish I could do that,” I commented. I really had to pee. “I shoulda gone before w... Continue»
Mohit’s (my husband) eyes almost popped out of their sockets as I stepped out from the bedroom.
I was wearing a white bikini top blouse & a shimmering silvery transparent sari which I had worn as low as possible. I had tied up my silky brown hair in a loose top knot leaving my fair smooth back bare naked except for the thin white string which held in place the two small patches of white fabric on my boobs.
He glared at me without a word.
“What’s wrong darling?” I s
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject
turned to getting older. The first guy said "Women have all the luck
when it comes to getting older."
"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.
"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I got
aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"
"Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.
"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd
get these terrible headaches." he answered. "Now that we're older, she
hasn't had a headache in years."
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It combines candy, monsters, horror movies, ancient pagan rituals, booze, partying all night, fake bl**d, and hot girls in sexy costumes. On top of everything else, Halloween, a night given over to fun, fantasy, and revelry, is by far the sexiest holiday of them all (shove off Valentine's Day).
I always use October as a chance to revisit my favorite monster movies, the glorious black and white classics like Dracula, The Wolfman, The Mummy, and my favorites, Frankenstein and the even better Bride of Frankenstein. Now, Doctor Frankenstein had a bright idea, ... Continue»
All my stories are true
2010, August 31
About 9:25 pm
This story is a rough prologue to
A dominate goth
Vengeance is sweet
As always you can find the animated pictures in my profile
Despite is was the last day of august the temperatures once again shot up. I don't know the exact temperatures by today, but it was so hot that every sunbeam hurts. Therefore I was extremely eased it already had cooled down a bit due to the daytime. The sun already had sunk and a brisk wind blew. Fr... Continue»
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else
Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters
I didn't went outside for anything for the entire day, I stayed indoors and shut myself awayfrom the outside world. I was so hurt that I couldn't thinkstraight, I couldn't listen, nor do I wanna speakto anybody. It felt like the worldhad ended for me and my life is over. Luckily Rachael stayed by my side during the entire day, she only leaves if she needs to use the bathroom, or take me tothe bathroom.
Papa Smurf finally found out about what happenedand stopped by ... Continue»
Theatrical … 2
You remember at the end of “Theatrical” how I told you that I had not seen the guy from the theatre since he fucked me in the disabled toilets and how much he meant to me, how I had been looking out for him, well!! I’ve seen him again,…… yes!!, in the city with his wife, I was walking through one of the arcades and I spotted him in front, he is really easy to notice because he is so tall, well my heart stopped when I realised it was him but then I thought “how can I make him see me, maybe he has been looking for me, I have got to make him see me, make eye contact” so I turned... Continue»
Kent held his book in one hand and sc****d dirt off the side of his sneaker with a stick he held in the other. Deciding to read his assigned chapter on a bench in front of the English building on the nicest day of the year was a big mistake, Kent thought. Waaaaaaaaaaay too easy to get distracted out here.
A deep purr caught Kent’s ear and grew louder as an old pick-up truck rounded the corner and slid into one of the student parking spaces. Dried mud was splattered across the entire truck like it was a mobile Jackson Pollack canvas. Kent trained his eye on the vehicle as the driver’s door ... Continue»
Kristen awoke as the sun was coming through the leaves of the trees... she felt completely refreshed, and rather glad to be so well-clothed.
As she walked along, she found a little side-path that led to a stream... thinking it would be nice to take a bath, Kristen stripped off her peasant-girl outfit that she'd gotten from the b**st's castle and climbed in. Splashing and playing she almost felt like an entirely new person!
Suddenly, the whinny of a horse made her turn around... and she gasped. The most beautiful man she'd ever seen in her entire life was atop the horse, in fine glitterin... Continue»
After I Die I Want to Come Back as A Lesbian - Maybe
I love pussy! It's my favorite food! I don't just LOVE pussy; I ADORE it! I even love the WORD "pussy!" I love to look at it; I love to think about it; I love to touch it and to feel it and to kiss it and lick it and rub my nose in it. Anyone who has one is my kind of person! This is why I once had the thought that after I die I would LOVE to come back in my next life as a lesbian!
Lesbians seem to have SOOOOO much fun with each other. They can do most of the things that guys can do for them, and they can do them BETTER because... Continue»
"D-234 is on line, we approching to destination. End over".
"Your stewardess are so wet, please my honey fuck me, forget this airplane".
"What aboat the people inside?"
"Let them and fuck me pilot".
"Hmmm your is on me know, what a fealing hmmm".
"I will show you that I have a monster for you".
"Yes tell me that thing, I become so wet". "Here is my tits hmmm".
"Yes nice tits hmmm".
"Let`s finished that I can`t stand it so long".
"Here is ohhhhhh".
"Nice fuck my pilot". "But there is a one thing".
"Your destination is too far away, you missed that".
"Ooo crap look what you... Continue»
Apart from this, the perfect girlfriend is a career-minded woman who earns more than their partner but at the same time wants to stay at home and bring up the c***dren.
The clue to these seemingly contradictory demands lies in the men polled, 3,000 bachelors.
Near the top of their girlfriend checklist is the requirement that she should have a "pert bottom" – which may explain why they are still single.
And while three-quarters of the men polled said their ideal woman would keep her weight in check, 89 per cent also wanted her to tuck into a big meal without worrying. These perfect ... Continue»
Her name is Elisa Grumway and although she may look like a Supermodel she is anything but.
She drinks to much, smokes cheap cigars and eats more McDonalds than a long haul trucker and yet she has an amazing figure. When asked how she pulls it off she always answers:
"Good Genes and lots of Running"
Elisa is a Bail Enf***ement Officer aka Bounty Hunter.
You may ask how a Woman who looks like so stunning and should be prancing down a Catwalk in Milan fell into the Hunting game, well it all began Two years earlier.
After being "dismissed" from a brief stint as Mrs. Cluck (a cos... Continue»
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
•It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
•It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
•It can also be used as an adje... Continue»
This was actually a song writing attempt from the 90's...hence the odd form...
I Wish I Knew
Where did you come from, who are you?
Where do you live, what do you do?
Did we share a bottle, did we share a drink?
Did we discuss what each of us think?
But you're lying next to me all the same,
I just wish I could remember your name.
How did you get here, did you drive your car?
Or did we meet in that corner bar?
Did I walk you home, did I hold the door?
Did you find me interesting or another bore?
But you're lying next to me all the same,
I just wish I could rememb... Continue»
Mary had a little skirt
Which split up either side
And everywhere that Mary went
The boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt
Which split right up the front
And everywhere that Mary went
The boys (& girls) could play with her CUNT... Continue»
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your c***dren are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.