Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 104

LIVING DOLL - Horror


by Seychelle

Living Doll


Until six weeks ago, Pat would have thought anything was better than hospital work.

In fact, when she'd been hired as a private live-in nurse down South, she'd thought it ideal: generous pay, easy hours to let her pursue her further education, and no rent. The recruitment agency could tell her little about her patient/employer Alastair Darragh; what little she'd picked up since did not extend far past the observations that he was a cantankerous recluse who'd driven away previous nurses, an expert in occult studies, and was older than God - b... Continue»
Posted by DoeTheBrat 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Cyber-sex

Introduction: This one's pretty long, but in my opinion its well worth the read once you get to the end.

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high h... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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How we met - She got the magic juice (Part 1)

Memories of a girlfriend from the 80's - How we met

We met at a disco. She was together with a friend having some fun in town. We started talking and after a short time we went to the dance floor - She danced very close and I gave up trying to hide that I had a hard on and started to push my leg between hers when dancing around - She gave me a knowing smile and we had another few dances.
It was hot and the music was very loud inside the disco and we decided to get some fresh air - She went to her friend and whispered something and we went outside in the nice summer night.

Outside we ... Continue»
Posted by drbimmer1965 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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10 things a woman should know

1. Calling you does not mean we are hitting on you
Most men are left wondering that why’s it that just because he called you, you assumed he wants you to fill in the post of his girlfriend. He may actually just want to hang out with you.

2. You are much prettier without all that makeup
Your basic foundation and kajal is fine, but layers upon layers of makeup only makes you unappealing to your guy. So keep it simple.

3. When you act giggly, it’s seriously embarrassing
When you spot your gang of girls while you are out with your boyfriend, don’t squeal and go giggly or jump up and down.... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Platonic Hazard

The resounding crash as feet hit water. Ragged breathing. Hearts pumping a mile a minute. I could still hear them behind me. They were shadows in the night, but still tired just as easily. I ran through another puddle, giving them insight as to how far ahead I was...but also how far behind me they were. Minutes after I had ran through the water, I heard the same puddle being disrupted and allowed myself a little grin. Ahead of me an alley way opened into a dead end. I didn't realize this until I had reached the end of it. Staring around myself for any sign of escape I turned when a harsh chuck... Continue»
Posted by Androidbarbie2068 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Dominant Bather

He stands, staring down into the clear pool seeing reflections of others. Others that he has known and some he only wished he had known. His thoughts are not the clear thoughts of a man in true consideration of events gone by, but a cyclone of pictures like the vision one is said to have before dying. He is not dying, he is very much alive and in complete control. His heart beats at a rhythm he is himself imposing. As the rhythm increases so does the cyclone of thought. What is seen doesn’t matter anymore as long as the rhythm is kept. His eyes are now clenched shut; grinding teeth, clear pear... Continue»
Posted by Testdriver 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Not really a story, just random personal feelings

Like I said, not a story.


Now I know this is a place where we all can just be ourselves and enjoy some good fucking but it seems to me there is a lot of interest in videos and stories of simulated and/or actual i****t and shit like that.

Listen, I understand that everybody likes different shit but seriously. Why does having sex with your s****r/b*****r/mother/father interest so many people? I'm a guy like any other and yeah I admit I had fantasy's about my mother a LOOOOOOOONG time ago and I squashed those feelings when I hit puberty.

Second, what's with the criticism of the acting... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Secretary

Seymour Shaft, disgraced cop turned private detective was trying to open his emails. He was not having much success. He kept hitting the wrong keys and now he had locked himself out with his password protection.
This was all happening because he was finding it hard to concentrate. It’s not easy to work a computer if you are getting blown at the same time.
Seymour’s secretary was one hot bitch and she was also one dirty bitch. One thing she really loved doing was sucking dick. That and sitting on faces. She was having a fun time at that moment, squatting between the detective’s legs, pe... Continue»
Posted by sirspunky 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Where are you ?

I was really hoping that I could have you next to me doing as you command, granting your every wish right now, twisting your G-spot like hurricane katrina. Smacking my cock right at the tip of your of wet lips. You feel me? Mmm your moan feeds my hunger, my hunger grows with each waking breath, while your legs lay wrapped around my neck squeezing tighter, as pleasure has overwhelmed your body. Your lips touch mine, as my fingers run through your hair. Sweat covers the both of us as the heat from our connection grows stronger, your juices engulf my mouth with a taste of pure pleasure.... Continue»
Posted by in2ideas44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Hot & Cold

Same gist. The first part is for buildup and character development, so if you’re only here for the sex, hit CTRL+F and enter “SEX STARTS HERE” or scroll down to that. Cheers! Please leave comments/critique!

Snowflakes fell from the sky periodically, but few and far between. The air was chilled and not a soul was in sight. All in all, it was a typical yet lonely winter scene.
My teeth chattered as I clung my skeleton-like fingers to the wheel, mumbling something about her being damn lucky. I was on the way to visit an old friend who recently went through a tough break-up. I hadn't ever tal... Continue»
Posted by soniclemon 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Italian Job 23

The Italian Job 23
I had taken the job from a contact in Belgium, the agent Eduardo In Argentina had a reputation for cheating the contractors who went there, I was determined that I was not going to be on that list of cheated people, I had to try to compromise him somehow so that I could apply pressure to get him to pay me my money, I had already taken a risk by flying to Argentina in the first place but I wanted to lull him into a false sense of security to let him think I was a gullible easy touch and of course my ace was Maria, on the first day of our arrival we got there early in the mor... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Dominate You, Punish Me!


I feel your hand stroke my shoulder and your finger tips graze the tops of my breasts then cup the undersides. . When you begin to nip and lick the spot where my neck meets my shoulder, goose bumps spring to the surface of my skin and I can't hold back a moan. My hips push back against you and my nipples pebble into hard little points.

Your not inside me yet....but I can feel your rigid erection between my buttocks. You slap my ass; hard, almost too hard. It stings and hurts, but the electricity shoots through my body in an instant and I feel it surge all across my back, down my arms and... Continue»
Posted by jadeandjasmin 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Pizza

It was Saturday, alone. There was nothing going on but the sickening sight of Big b*****r torturing 8 house mates over a glass of water or so it seemed. This intellectual exercise was going way over my head and I was in desperate need of something a little more down to earth. But what is more down to earth than a pizza and a porno flick? Ah, yes! But what... but what do I want on the pizza? Pineapple? Mushroom? Sweetcorn? HA! HA! I'll get all three - Pineapple! Mushroom! & Sweetcorn! Better yet, I'll get everything - the works!

With shaking hands and trembling fingers, I picked up the telep... Continue»
Posted by bbwlovar 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Ace in the Hole

Ace Baxter was named after Ace Cannon the famous saxophonist, adored by his father who played his records from morning ’till night and who wanted his son to take up the instrument and become a professional musician. Unfortunately Baxter the younger turned out to be tone deaf and ended up with a job washing glass receptacles in a laboratory.

During his short tenure with the Wittislow d**g Company they made a remarkable break through that shook the world and delighted the intelligence community beyond belief. Known as the Wittislow Truth d**g it threatened to revolutionize the questioning of ... Continue»
Posted by Belle_Sunshine 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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random sexy questions to ask yourself

-if you could have any piece of medical equiptment what would it be? who would you use it on? and what would you do to them?
-what part of the body (other than penis vagina breasts etc) turns you on most when touched?
-what part of the body (including penis vagina breasts etc) turns you on most when touched?
-what object do you use (if any) to masturbate?
-where is the weirdest place you have ever had sex?
-how many times (be honest) have you had sex?
-if straight have you ever had a homosexual experience?
-who is your favourite person to fantasise about?
-who did you lose your virgini... Continue»
Posted by eskimokissesxx 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Chased by Girls - going back opition

"I'm coming!" you shout.

You know perfectly well you'll probably just end up getting caught but there's no way you're leaving Melissa behind. Once you get to her, you help her up and then, supporting her with your shoulder, get ready to start running again when suddenly Doe, alone, comes crashing through the forest at the top of the rise.

"Now I've got y-OH SHIT!"

She stumbles off the top and lands hard on the ground, clutching her ankle. Ironically she seems to have befallen the same injury as Melissa.

"God dammit, that hurt," she curses, unable to stand up. Then she looks up ... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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NYMPHOCOM - ch 01

The Mind Control Machine - ch01

Disclaimer : I am not a native English speaker so please don't hesitate to correct me if there are sentences which are not understandable !

Please comment/flame as appropriate !


Prologue

Controlling somebody else's mind has always been a common fantasy throughout the ages. Nothing is more fascinating than to have other human beings obeying your will without any restriction even at the risk of their own life. Many scientists have tried to uncover the secrets of the brain but so far our most complex organ has remained a mystery. We know that th... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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By the Way

The steamy water from the hot tub warms my naked body as I immerse myself up to my shoulders. I tilt my head back and rest it on the edge of the tub as I take in a deep breath of the crisp evening air. I reach one hand up to caress my nipple the other stretches down between my legs as I begin to lose myself in a sexual fantasy.

Feeling a presence I turn my head and see you standing there. With a big smile you raise up a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. I push through the water to the edge of the tub where you are standing. “Looks like a very good year” I say as I blush and playful... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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No More Doubts for my Ma



My third year at the Engineering College was over, and my 4 friends with whom I shared a flat neat our college in Pune had packed their bags and left for their homes

I was still under the shock given by my girl friend Namratha, she had announced that her f****y had finalized her marriage plans and she is getting engaged during the vacation to some Kiran Sharma who belongs to some big business f****y. We had been very close, and I was hoping that we will eventual
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Audition 2

The Audition Part 2 "Ready Jane"


"Pull down your panties and set them beside you on the floor." Bella ordered

She then had me stand by the biggest of the two beds where she unbuttoned the top part of my dress. Bella fixed it so you could see my bra but not enough
so you could tell my breasts were fake. Next she hoisted up the bottom of the dress so my penis was visable. With all this touching going on from such a pretty lady it was already getting longer and harder by the millisecond.

***********************************************************************... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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