Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 104

today horny?

a hot sommerday again and i also hot :
today i`m realy horny again ,
several times can feel my fat cock between my soft hairy legs ,
terribly hungry to make love , passionated long and deep with
a nice sexy and hairy natural woman , there gets wet and horny , like me .
there like to do it several times - in the morning , outdoor , when take shower or where ever we like it to do .
hungry to feel the mans hard dick and happy to feel his hotcum deep inside.....

where are you , the naughy , nyphomanic woman ,
to h... Continue»
Posted by alfisexy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 281

"I think I can" and I did....

_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_


I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 281  |  
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The Taste Of Jealousy Part 1

Gym. 2:16 p.m.

"Since today you start weight training, there are a few machines that I want you to know that most of you will be trying today. Firstly, the Bicept Curls, is where you will be lifting weights, but since you are all only in grade eight, I surely hope most of you will be able to lift ten pounds," Mr. Richard said, looking at all of us while we all laughed and I grinned, elbowing my friend Shyla who yelped, rubbing her arm and giggled as I kept looking at the teacher and then at Matt, who was across the room, talking to his buddies and they laughed as his eyes turned to mine and... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 284  |  
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Wasted a good cup of coffee lol

first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 280  |  
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1

we are at the summer house of us... near to beach, but far fromother ppl's eyes. no more house near to us... That is our secret place, no one knows, but us. we are swimming after midday.kissing eachother between the rocks... no one can hear our laughs...

then taking you on the sands, in my arms. you need to get oiled your delicious and salty skin. i am ready to help here :). you are laying down , and i am taking some oil in my hands. start to massage to your body.... to your muscles... you are getting relax under my touch. to your neck... to your back... to your waist(with a kiss)... to... Continue»
Posted by warcry01 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 280  |  
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Eating

Eating

Today is the day where we want to meet, you are ringing on the door and I open it. As greetings we kiss. Then we talk and watch a film. For that we are laying on the couch and you have your hand on my leg and my arm is around your shoulder.
The film is a kind of romantic comedy with a lot of kissing. During the watching your hand is wandering up and down my leg and remains on my dick and my hand is wandering down to your breasts and is knead it a bit. Then we kiss smoothly and we take off our shirts and I continue with your breasts. Then I take off your trouser and continue kissing ... Continue»
Posted by John9090 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 280  |  
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Sexy Fairytale part 6

Kristen had been right, the pleasant weather seemed to have melted away, and she was quite sure that it was going to be cold enough to snow by the time the sun was completely down. Naked, she ran through the woods, trying to heat up her body. When she saw a light through the trees, she immediately went towards it, heedless of where it might lead to as long as she could be warm and inside.

The wind picked up as she found herself standing in front of a huge castle, an iron gate swinging in the wind. Teeth chattering, she hurried up the stone walkway, banging on the huge double doors.

"Hell... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 6 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 280  |  
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Bank Job

My job working for a temp agency was a lot of fun while I had it. I was
just out of college and looking for work in the film industry, and needed a
way to get myself food and shelter--a couple of luxuries I had grown
accustomed to over the years. The temp job was good for a guy in my
position--I often could pick my own hours, it never got boring (as I rarely
stayed at any one place more than a couple of weeks) and it paid pretty well,
especially since I usually got the higher paying word processing jobs. I
knew my way around computers and could do more with word processing programs
... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 280  |  
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SPENT

Time to head to the gym. Shay and I work out regularly (of course you know this if you follow her hot blog. www.thegirlform.com ) It's about a 30 min drive and we don't always get to go together.
Today was one of those days. Every morning I wake up with the Hardest Cock ever. I mean what do you expect I sl**p next to the Shay Every night. I generally rub up on her pretty good and if she feels like giving me a treat she will FUCK me right then and there. Today was not one of those days, so I left the house with a raging hard on. She Loves this! and she knows she wields the power to ma... Continue»
Posted by peanutj 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 279  |  
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Romance Comic Cover Stories - Chapter VII

Chapter VII – Their Armchair (based on Love Diary No. 41 cover, Orbit-Wanted, circa 1949)



I guess everyone has fantasies and fetishes, but how do you say about someone who wants to have sex in the armchair you just bought for your best friends because you felt envy of their ‘adventures’

Me and Charlotte just found this beautiful and stylish armchair as a gift for Keith and Donna, which were to move to a new house. The armchair was so awesome and fittable that we resisted till the last urge to buy it for ourselves an... Continue»
Posted by Victor2K 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 278

RECIPE: HOW TO MAKE LOVE




Ingredients:


4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 soft, warm mixing bowl
1 Firm banana


Directions:


1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 278  |  
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The Booty Inspector of the Old West (pt. 3)

The Booty Inspector pt. 3 by markfayer

“Freaky Felatio Foursome”


Dick and his intrepid Lieutenant, junior, had no sooner arrived at the Barnaby’s Circus Fairgrounds when they spied the performers’ ring of campers set about in a cozy circle, creating a small common open space for the freaks and Acrobats and other members of the Freak Parade.
“Alright, Dick, what’s our plan of Attack?” quipped Junior.
“Well…I figgur we just waltz into the Boxler b*o’s trailer, give them an offer they caint refuse—by which I mean they get to fornicate with our Nubian Amazons-in-tow in a no... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 8 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 277  |  
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The Party Mood


“What’s this?

Igot shouted waving the letter at his wife Her-Peas. She could see it looked official but as she hadn’t read it, couldn’t tell what it was even though her husband was wafting it around like some demented swan trying to take off.

“I don’t know dear, she smiled

“It’s only a letter from Pen.E. Sillen and Aunty Biotics they are planning to marry. It’s a big enough disgrace to the f****y that she married that Biotics bloke but a Sillen.

Igot was pacing up and down. He very rarely became ruffled and was normally a very smooth operator. That was one of the reasons Her-... Continue»
Posted by Cybertease 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 275  |  
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a foxtail in como

so... a friend & i wrote this for another friend's b-day. she wrote the clean stuff & i wrote the smut & yes, a date w/Costner is like that.

A Foxtail in Como

or...

George Clooney is the biggest dick in hollywood, and he proved it in Taylor's ass.

by Mrs. Face
and
roxxanna valencya

It was a glorious spring day in lake country. The light breeze cast ripples over the bright blue water making it sparkle in the sunlight. Taylor and “Giorgio” (as the locals called him) were enjoying an afternoon bike ride through the village of Bellagio after spending a lazy morning at Clooney... Continue»
Posted by roxxanna 9 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 275  |  
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The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true slut gave to me
A virgin so very horny

On the second day, she gave me two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

Now on the third day of Christmas, that ol' bitch, she brought home three French whores
Two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

Now on the fourth day of Christmas, four calling girls
Three French whores
Two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

On the fifth day of Christmas she brought me home somethin' special
She brought me home somethin' special
Five herpie seeds
Four calling girls
Three French whores
Two peck... Continue»
Posted by snakeman 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 274  |  
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What women want from men

1. When we talk 'listen', it shows us that you care about our feelings.

2. Men should be smart enough and understand that not all our bad moods are connected to PMS-ing.

3. Guys, developing an EQ (Emotional quotient) would help. That however, does not mean that they need to cry at the drop of a hat, it just means you need to be more sensitive towards us.

4. With women communication is the key, so try and talk to us often.

5. Here are some traits we wish men would display – chivalry, making an extra effort with our friends and f****y, because we do the same!

6. Cook for us o... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 274  |  
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Don't Drink Alcohol

The art of making love is supposedly one of the most beautiful and enjoyable acts someone can perform. It gives incredible pleasure and is a wonderful feeling of closeness between two people. We've all seen the movies that set the standard for how we should behave. You all know the scene: the man gently eases his partner down while looking at her fondly. He then confidently and calmly guides her through the processes. He is a confident lover, someone whom she can really lose herself to. It's almost picture perfect, with the small beads of sweat, mood lighting and music. Yes, you would almost b... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 274  |  
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The Italian Job 17

The Italian Job 17
A few days later Ellie came to see me at my apartment, this was truly a royal visit as she had never been before and I got the feeling that she was checking to see if I had got anyone entrenched that she might see as a threat to her private domain, she wandered around, looking at all of my stuff, “Maria came to see me” she commented whilst browsing my books,
I made no comment, I reckoned if she wanted to tell me she would “wanted to know if she could have her job back” she said, now I was curious but determined to hold out so still no comment “how do you feel about that?”... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 275  |  
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21

REASONS WHY YOU MUST GET TOGETHER WITH A HORSE RIDERS
1) We have four speeds and can be many different positions ...
2) We have on our tight pants
3) We like getting dirty
4) We know how to ride really
5) We always do our best in the drawing
6) We love having control
7) We can ride for hours
8) We know how to deal with big things
9) We are going off and on easily
10) We are always ready
11) We like it hard
12) We have leg and back muscles that help us manage all the different positions
13) We love using whips
14) legs apart is our natural position
15) We do... Continue»
Posted by betty6love6 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 272  |  
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omegle

You: kool so u two r wet?? hahaha jk;)
Stranger: yes
Stranger: and horny
Stranger: chsahahha
You: haha really?
Stranger: yep
You: u guys wanna blow me??
Stranger: yep
Stranger: come here
Stranger: you won'y reagret it
You: comes to u
Stranger: ok we ll waitn to u darlig <3
Stranger: 69
You: ok
Stranger: oooh
You: what kinda panties u got on
Stranger: white small panties
You: mmmmmm
Stranger: and no bra
You: mmmm u got big tits\
Stranger: yeees
You: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: like texas !!!!
You: mmm
Stranger: what u wanna do with them ?:>
You: play with them
Stranger: ... Continue»
Posted by bluenative 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 272  |  
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