Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 104

My Girlfriend Told Me She's Gay

Not really a true story...but, it sounds like fun...

My Girlfriend Told Me She's Gay

I had a girlfriend who told me she's gay,
My first reaction was to say "No way."
I gave this situation some heavy thought,
It seemed so against everything I was taught,
I told her she just had to go,
Who it was I didn't want to know,
I told her she could do what she like,
I didn't want to meet this other dyke,
Then in a while instead of being furious,
I found myself becoming a bit curious,
What she told me nearly put me in shock,
She'd been dating the girl down the block,
The on... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 4)

Dorothy and Leandra stood there silent, then a slate of rock moved down, opening up a way out of the circle of rocks that imprisoned them.

"Well theres the way out what do we do Dorothy"

"I don't know Leandra, we have to decided before they trap us here forever"

Leandra went over and grabbed their things. Picking up their clothes and her bag. She brought them over to the opening and tossed them out. She stood there looking out at the freedom her clothes had, but she still felt trapped. She didn't want to make the decision. Maybe her and Dorothy could come up with a way to get out. Th... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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HOW THEY HAVE SEX

HOW THEY HAVE SEX

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest ... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Shakedown

"Strip," I said.
"What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?"
"I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads."
"Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Strip," I said.
She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood before me and she was quite simply stunning. She wore a white blouse. The material sheer a... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Freeze frame.

Watching her in the shower is a thrill, the slow fall of water flowing down her caramel skin legs, wr****g around those perfectly toned thighs long lean, graceful every move of the wash cloth over her flat stomach, bubbles gathering in her belly button praying to call it home, with her quick spin on the heels of her feet they are whipped away, shoulders elegantly dropped feeling the water rush over her short light brown hair, with soap on her face I make my move, open the door and slip right in, standing from behind my hands firmly grasp her arms and slide down to her hands fingers interlock, ... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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FAQs About Me

I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.

1. Do you do guys?

As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.

2. Do you do girls?

Yes. Of all ages.

3. What are your views on i****t?

Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 5 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Unlimited Fun With A beauty With Brain




This story was between me and Sheetal (Name Changed) – a beauty with brain. Her figure was like 34-30-36 and she was really fair and her height was like 5 foot 5 inch and I am tall, athletic and handsome.

I saw Sheetal first at Chicago Airport travelling to Mumbai and then at that time I decided if not sex at least have friendship with her. She was arguing to have window seat but unfortunately it was full. So I asked the lady at the airline I will like to give her mine.

Initially she was apprehensive to have it but late
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 24 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Interview with Caroline Laurence, translated, on h

Interview with Caroline Laurence on filming "La Vénus á Lulu" - 1991 Dir: D. Losset
Interview with Michel Legrand - "Le Filme" magazine... August 1992.


ML: How did you get the role as Venus in this film?

CL: My agent phoned me & said there was a role in a TV film calling for a slim Nordic-looking girl.... BUT...........I'd have to be naked through most of it & have to act with little boys, no sexual bits, very tasteful & directed by Daniel Losset as a 'Jacques Tati-style' comedy, just be naked for most of the scenes, although discretely filmed & covered by scener... Continue»
Posted by septictone 5 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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ivy league ch 2

"Umm... well," he hesitated only for a moment because he had his side of the story already figured out. He realized it would come to this, so he had a plan in mind. "Your son insisted that he come to the concert with us, even though we warned him to follow your rules. On the way to the concert he got pulled over for speeding. The cop searched your car and found his d**gs."

"My son doesn't do d**gs! He said those were yours!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, but he's just trying to lay the blame on someone else," he replied smugly.

"How dare you accuse my son of being a liar," she said angrily.
... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The day it rained

So, we'd been wed for more than a week now..the love was blossoming but we had not managed to get our inhibitions out of the way and get down to business if you know what I mean. Mr P and I had met online, and after a 5 month long-distance relationship I fell for his dry sense of humor and sexy deep voice. I am an attractive woman and my ladies are a 36 C and I haven't ever shied away from showing off my cleavage and watching men stare ;) ..
House was full of relatives post wedding meant we had not managed to get anywhere apart from me staring at his hard manhood poking through his jammies a... Continue»
Posted by p_wangdu 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Susanna Francessca on James Whale Show

This is a true story sent to me by a friend. There's lots of pictures and videos of Susanna here on my channel and also all over the internet. She's worth a look at !!!!

"There used to be a television programme in the UK called ‘The James Whale Show’. It was a  mixture of interviews with famous people and a bit of nudity as well. I remember seeing Susanna on there a few times, but in pretty minor roles, always looking sexy but mainly dressed. However, one week she was on a lot more.
There used to be a topless girl dressed as a mermaid on most weeks and James Whale would always stand near ... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 4 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Our Own Show

Nikki was the first to blow. S/he caught me square in the eye.

"Oh! I'm cumming," s/he shouted.

That caused a chain reaction. Francesca splashed me on one side while Zaza got me on the other.

************************************************************************

"Fuck!' shouted Nick in frustration. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"I'm OK!" I assured Dennis.

"Now what do we do?" asked Zaza.

And with that one of Gigi's favorite movies popped into my head.

"Come on everybody! It's like what Judy Garla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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A bit of Posh!

Right then… in my ‘pretty woman I am not’ post I mentioned 2 other ‘gentlemen callers’ that had recently made my acquaintance. Well in this entry I am going to fill you all in on the second one. As with the first, my inspiration for nicknames has for some reason or another vanished, and as he already said he really didn’t want to be called ‘cutting-in’ (suggested for a couple of reasons… all of which clever I thought) I needed to go back to the ‘sex-inspired’ drawing board. I kind of had the feeling that I should try and incorporate an element from the film ‘indecent proposal’ but was bugge... Continue»
Posted by unassumingmistress 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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I'm a CockHero!

I've just discovered the best video game ever. It's kinda like GuitarHero... only different. It's called CockHero... it's a video game for your wiener and it's awesome! Has anyone else played it? I'm addicted. It's not actually a video game... it's porn.

The game is simple enough. Each game (usually around an hour) is made up of several shorter rounds... the rounds are sexy music videos set to a thumping, good stroking beat. The early rounds usually start slow... a pretty girl or two... dressed sexy... dancing to a slow steady beat... maybe one beat per second. Your assignment... should you... Continue»
Posted by dickpixie 2 days ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 18

The Italian Job 18
I have re-submitted this one after some confusion, so if it crops up again, just ignore it, this one may be a bit of a tear jerker so ladies have your hankies ready.

Several weeks past and all was relatively quiet but I was troubled, something was bugging me and I could not make up my mind, I said nothing to Ellie but finally succumbed and went to Genoa, I knew the address and parked outside, I sat in the car for an hour trying to get up the courage to go and knock on the door, finally I went to the door, I knocked and a tall elegant middle aged Italian woman answered th... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My Past Life

“Your hands, your mouth are to be helpers to my cock, as are those of your s****r!
She has made me cum, with her hands and mouth, more times than I can count!
At command, she hardens me, strokes me, licks, sucks, until the inevitable end of her skills, and then, what do you think happens? What do you suppose I do?

I shoot my cum, my semen, on her face. That is my greatest pleasure, but not by any means my only one. But soon, you will see for yourself what I will require from you”.


I will make no comment on the above variant version of the Marquis de Sade, except to say that it is ... Continue»
Posted by Raedman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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15 Things That Can Impress Every Girl

This is what all girls had to say when we asked them to mention a few traits that they like or dislike about men. So if you haven’t been out with women, or haven’t been able to hold on to a steady girlfriend, take a look. With this, tomorrow could be your lucky day! we compiled a few turn on’s and a few turn off’s that the men can definitely use.







Things that Impress Women

1. Confidence
2. Sense of Humor
3. Intelligence
4. Support
5. Sensitivity
6. Self-Worth
7. Focused Goals
8. Great Imagination
9. Independent Streak
10. Passionate and Desirous
11. Bravery and Coura... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Hanging Around

On occasion you read about something kinky and it sounds so good you just want to try it. The first time Tonya and I did this, things didn’t quite go as they should have. Mike had left one of his pornographic magazines lying on our living room radiator and Tonya found it. We began reading through the letters in it and found one with an interesting premise. It offered both a measure of fear and arousal. We decided to try it.
The premise was for me to be nearly hanging by my balls, with my head and the tips of my toes the only support to prevent the actual suspension, while my wife performed or... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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ha ha

Posted by yopa358a 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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