Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 104
Dear Dirty Diary,
Eight weeks had passed since Doug had come home from the hospital. He was still a little pale looking and complained of being cold all the time because of the bl**d thinners. The night before, he was detached and completely immersed in a Blue Jays baseball game. Early the following morning was gray and rainy and I was feeling quite sorry for myself. Like a fool looking for comfort, I went down into the den, popped in that Lisa Brokop “When I get to be you” CD into the stereo and cranked up the volume.
Johnny Stout, 33, a life-long bachelor and a plumber by trade, is a very cheeky one: His element is the water and his love belongs to the mermaids of the deep! And whenever he dreams on his water bed at night his wet fantasies dive into the unexplored caverns hidden under the surface, the disturbed matress gurgling the sound track to his emotions:
Like in all those steaming hot summer nights when I can't find any sl**p I go for a refreshing swim. Quietly I climb over the fence of the local pool and listen out for noise. There is somebody already in the warm water, floating around at the f... Continue»
many times ive been out and about, in the pubs and clubs, we all know wat its like wen u get the sexual urge to b fuked rite there and then, well i can proudly say i have fuked in most of the pub toilets in my town...............due to the fact wen the urge cums on and its too strong its a case of drag ur boyfriend to the nearest toilet cubicle get his trousers undone and his cock in ur mouth give him a very enjoyable lush slow and sensual sucking until he is fit to blow............he pulls u up by ur hair bends u over the toilet, lifts ur skirt pulls down ur panties hard like he is almost goi... Continue»
My new friend, Jeff, finished packing his large rainbow colored bong with a fresh load of sticky, resiny weed. My head buzzing from the bong hits we'd already taken, I watched him light up and inhaled deeply, then hold the smoke in his lungs. In my stoned haze, I looked at his buff physique. Jeff was an inordinately good looking man, lithe muscles bulging in a tight tank top, dark hair and darker eyes and intense features, someone who, if he had been born as a woman, most any man would have rated as a "10".
He passed me the lit bong. "Here, suck on this."
I inhaled deeply, then struggl... Continue»
A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.
As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Ok so obviously that's not the name of this story, but I am having trouble taking this story where it needs to go. I was perfectly fine when I started but I seem to have a bit of a block and looking for help. I am pretty open and usually just write off the cuff... so if any of you would like to help and have some ideas it would be incredibly helpful. Let me know either by pm or posting a comment here. Would love any suggestions! thank you!
"Fuck!!!!", slamming my hand on the door. I can't believe I locked myself out. It's late August and there is a definite chill in the air. Well so m... Continue»
There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.
Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
Everyday I'd wake up around 7 am and take my morning dump, usually I'd read the newspaper sometimes I'd only have time for a quick one so it was a hastily achieved f***ed one, kind of dump that just shoots straight out which isn't fun when it's not solid as it covers the bowl like that time at my mother-in-laws when I forgot to flush after eating some bad fish.
After my dump my wife (Gazzel) would have breakfast waiting for me at about 07:45-08:00, she'd always cook me something good like fried food with a side bowl of healthy cereal which I had the choice to eat but never did ... Continue»
Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.
The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
This slut I saw when she left the store. She was twenty years old. She unsuccessfully catching a taxi. I approached her from behind, and that there are f***es punched her in the head. This bitch has fallen to the ground, and I climbed on her and began to fuck on the street. She began to cry:
"Oh, Fuck, Fuck me!" I've never fucked. Fuck "
Its by a dick I broke her hymen. And she screamed, "Fuck, Fuck."
I felt that I wanted to finish. I turned this whore to her face, and finished it on the snout. She was licking my cum from his snout.
"Give me your phone&qu... Continue»
One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," replied Adam.
"Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
"OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?"
"I only gave you enough bl**d to operate one at time."
Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How can you ... Continue»
LOOK AND I WILL SAY WHEN YOU CAN TOUCH
It was nearly a week later before I saw anyone which was strange as they never seemed to be there much considering they were a f****y I was beginning to think they were a very strange f****y,
I mean she put on a show for me, I then saw her with another man while her husband watched and the took part,
And now they were never at home and what’s happened to the son I haven’t seen him since they moved into the area very strange,
I’m still hoping to get to fuck her myself as it would seem that she likes to tease and then enjoys fucking othe... Continue»
The Italian Job 8
The second part of this tale involves the interpreter “I know, I know” I can hear you all saying “Oh not another fucking interpreter” but hear me out and draw your own conclusions after.
Mrs Chikolova was supposed to be our interpreter for the duration of the job but it turned out that she could hardly speak any English although she could read it but no one else could speak any English so no one knew she couldn’t, to look at her you would have thought she was a middle aged spinster but she was indeed married, she was in the habit of wearing dark blue dresses that had small ... Continue»
Mary was feeling a little worried. She was due to go to college in a couple weeks, which meant she had to move into the dorms.
"Can't I still commute from home?" Mary asked her parents.
"Oh no!" They said, "You wouldn't be getting the full college experience." They explained.
"Well," Mary tried, "Can I at least have a single dorm? How will I have any privacy if I share room with someone?"
"That's more expensive," They said, "And unnecessary, you'll make more friends and socialize more if you share a room with someone."
Mary valued her privacy and alone time. She was a straigh... Continue»
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: asl ?
Stranger: 15 f usa
You: 16 m france
You: are you sexy ?
You: tall, athletic body with 6 packs and blue eyes
Stranger: umm yeah ur sexy
Stranger: I'm shot, thin, athletic, blue eyes, blonde hair, and tan
You: hmm you're sexy too
You: so have you a bf ?
You: so you masturbate ?
You: how much o... Continue»
james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
People, ever found a small glance of your findxpartner
friends bosom while she bent low to choose something up?
Ever wanted you could have seen more? Of course..
If you have a companion who has relationship a magnificent looker, you would be inclined to imagine about your buddy's attractive time frame undressed too.
We want to see it more than ever. But more often than not, possibilities will come banging on your entrance if you can just understand to be on the lookout at the right time.
Spending a day out with your buddies at an alone identify, where in addition, there's a ... Continue»
Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
The true story of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.
[ N.B. This story doesn't have a proper ending. Once you get to the end, try going back to the start. Then it makes sense. ;) ]
Genre- Dark Fantasy, b********y, Cruelty, Monster, Non-consensual sex, ****, v******e, Virginity, Young
Her juices at that time of month were thick and white. One clawed finger dipped into her, lifted the sweet, honey-scented sap to his nose. He licked it off.
Her lips were trembling. ‘Please,’ the girl said brokenly. ‘Please don’t – ’
The Wolf laughed at her. ‘Little Red, Lit... Continue»
This is a story that is both part fiction and part truth.
You see, the thing is, I am something of a masochist. I like pain. Now, I'm not into the hardcore stuff like taking jumper cables to the sack or being stomped on by stiletto heels. I just like the light stuff, maybe some smacking around, hair pulling, and some of that. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a fema... Continue»