Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 103

bl**dy bourgoisie

When I joined this Wonderful World of Porn I was sruck by the quantity of rules and regulations, supposed etiquette and general reserve insisted upon by the organisers.....obviously they have their reasons, and I won't argue with them on that. This is their site and I must obey.

It's all terribly bourgoisie however.

BUT, - as a free man born in a free country I do insist upon having my say about it, to wit : It's a lot of old crap.

Firstly, - because all rules inhibit. Inhibition and porn simply do NOT, cannot go together. Indeed, having plowed through thousands... Continue»
Posted by dandrew1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 167  |  
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Rental contract

My new FWB and I are looking for a place to play. found an ad on CL and this is the response she sent, Hope you enjoy. I'm not sure what to laugh or rub one out:)
Please tell me what yall think!

My lover and I are interested in your room, however before we enter into an agreement, I have a few codicils based on our needs.
1. We only need the room for approximately 10 hours a week, we’re both married, so play time is limited and quite frankly can only handle a few hours of pussy licking, clit biting, cock sucking, ass tonguing, tits flying, ball pounding sex. I get dehydrated from multiple... Continue»
Posted by fun4yallnow 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 167  |  
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Sexual Participation

Image of perfection
Object of an affection in sexing
Fantasizing freaky positions of you in submission
Pushing pulling twisting and moaning
A Place where I could store my erection
Splendid features
Tongue kissing fucking
Look up cause I got mirrors on the ceiling
Reflecting your ass bouncing silly
Soon as you come in right away
If you’re willing
Splay your legs open
Game played by 2
My sexual motivation
Got you yelling spots for me to do?
Amazed by the way you grind
Just for fun
I bet ill make you cum 61 times
First before insertion let me heat it up
Beat it up when ... Continue»
Posted by Emeze 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 166  |  
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xhamster community news

It was quite a surprise when we realised that
Tina was actually ChristineAnger. The photo that
gave it away was one on a BDSM series that she
uploaded a few weeks ago. Her face was hidden
behind her long auburn hair and a blindfold and
ball gag. Her Arms stretched wide and high in
a restraining frame. And her body covered in
deep weals from a vicious whipping she had just
received. But the tattoo was unmistakable, The
letter O with a naked bound girl circled by a whip.
I called Sue over and she was a bit shocked, "Oh, Tina
is a naughty girl" This led us to look more clos... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 166  |  
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getting caught once with chav lads

People might say do you ever get caught well once it happened.

Yes once last november I got caught fucking them at back of spar. It dont happen more often as its on this precient and its secluded at back plus people are afriad to go down the back after dark as well.

Well once a couple of chav lads went around the back to go smoke some weed. anyway they saw me and jamie, jamie had me facing the wall I had a crop top on and it was up with my tits out. my skirt was down my ankles with my knickers and he was fucking me while the other watched.

They said what going on here they were cal... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 166  |  
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Match Dating Site for Adult Match

There are many things that change how people live and nothing is really the essence of the dating and marriage. It is marriage brings balance in people's lives and make sure that you are ready to change how you live and life map. A dating site is one of the places you should check if you are looking for a system; a dating partner brings your way.

It is very important to know that a changed little in life more and more effective so don't miss the big picture. Most important thing is that many men looking for <strong><em><a href="http://www.teenxdating.com/">meet girls</a></em></strong> tonig... Continue»
Posted by nancymoore 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 166  |  
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The Italian Job 15

The Italian Job 15
The following morning I had my usual 2 breakfast’s, tea and toast for one and Ellie’s genitalia for the other as she sat on my face leaning forward with her hands on the bed behind my head as she ground her clit into my teeth, she came gushing her juice into my mouth as she trembled, she was learning to ride them so that the sensation lasted for some time so the noise of her moaning and growling was quite prolonged, I fucked her missionary with her legs wrapped around me as she used them to lever herself up into the back arching position when she came, it was a reflex and s... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 165  |  
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Lisa's Song

She’s a red hot mama, rides a bike built in Hell.
Got legs stretch to Heaven and she works them well.
Her Pussy’s a cathedral a place for to pray.
Nipples like rock candy melt in your mouth all day.
Her ass rides high up on those stems.
She’ll make you suck it till She comes again and again.

She spread herself on the couch her slot just a drippin’. She said,
“Show me your stuff, let me be your sex kitten.”
I dropped my pants and fell to my knees started slurping that juice like a bear in the bee’s.

I chugged down her juice a cocktail of lust. I licked her back door, it was wet a... Continue»
Posted by toolinthroughlife 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 165  |  
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Isabelle, Ricardo & I - my side of the story

I have to thank DeepThroatDealer for showing me the videos , this story is created in response to [user]emorymed [/user](will link it here) my english isnt really good so dont be too harsh on me.

I Counted the minutes to log onto the site and see what kind of story emorymed had prepared for me, and prepared to enjoy it calmly.
The story was about Isabelle, Ricardo and me! Isabelle was a sexy and wonderful roommate that I had and she came to my mind instantly. Ever since I first met her, I had a strong admiration for her; she was so sure of herself and knew what sh... Continue»
Posted by alesub 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 164  |  
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B7 Chapter 14 Epilog - The Enchantress

Chapter 14: Epilog - The Enchantress

Several days later, the Enchantress learned of her fate. The all-father had summoned her to his great hall to pronounce sentence upon her. She arrived at the appointed time, and stood outside before two of the guardsmen, before entering. They said nothing, but seemed to have a smirk upon their faces, as they held the great oaken door open for her. The Enchantress glared at them but did nothing else. She could not afford any type of incident, today of all days.
As she entered the hall, she saw the all-father gathered in close conference with sev... Continue»
Posted by gregster 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 164  |  
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Brief sex 009 A slave to the phone

Brief sex 009


A slave to the phone.



I have often said I was a hard user of Minitel in the big time, I paid bills outlandish elsewhere. I do not regret my money, I have made so many meetings. My wife herself is met is initially for a roll in the air that has lasted 25 years. But I had other good luck and sometimes it was not easy because we contacted the rascals who lived far away unfortunately.

Sometimes it happened that make love on the phone. Oh I know it's been a lot of people smile. Yes make love to it's distance from masturbation I quite agree, but honestly try after y... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 163  |  1

fiat uno dick bite

once it was my first sex with my x girl
i took her in my garage we were very d***k .
we kissed but so quickly i took off her bras , started eating that white mellon with that nipple playing in it as if its a radio tuner hardly . then she took off my shirt started to kiss all my body specially my neck . i took off her purple dress , she had an under pants it was winter December my car the fiat uno wasnt that big , but we realized it bigger , i brought my seat back towards the couch after taking her pants off also her purple heels i started sucking her toes she had a smelly salty feet with ... Continue»
Posted by karini 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 162  |  
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“Declaration of principles”

1] All human beings are different. And should do everything possible to continue to be so.

2] Each human being has been granted two courses of action: that of deed and that of contemplation. Both lead to the same place.

3] Each human being has been granted two qualities: power and gift. Power drives a person to meet his/her destiny, his gift obliges that person to share with others which is good in him/her. A human being must know when to use power, and when to use compassion.

4] Each human being has been granted a virtue: the capacity to choose. For he/she who does not use this virtu... Continue»
Posted by ziilike666 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 162

GoodCake

Shes sitting there in the corner of my eye asking why I have to make a mess she knows my cakes take time to prepare bake and set. Whisking the eggs fluffing my batter she waits my forearms tighten cute bakers hat shaking my good mood to much to resist. Come here for a second she calls out to me. Hold on is my reply. Set my pans in the oven turn around her body pins up mine. Gimme a kiss. So I do slip to the side and be rude let me go take a shower. I wash the flour out my hair take a moment and stare then brush my teeth. Wrapped in a towel stright to the kitchen gotta save my creation from bur... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 161  |  
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Mes fantasmes avec Reva (en anglais) My Fantasies

Ce sont mes fantasmes inspirés par la déesse Reva exquis de photographies. C'est une sorte de journal érotique écrite en anglais parce qu'elle parle l'anglais. Veuillez pardonner les erreurs éventuelles dans grammar ;b

These are my fantasies inspired by the goddess Reva's exquisite photographs. I will post the photograph that inspired my dirty thought. This is a sort of erotic journal written in english because she speaks english and these are comments to her pictures. Please forgive any errors in grammar. Enjoy and adore her:
http://xhamster.com/user/curvysquirtergoddess

This is the pi... Continue»
Posted by nipplepainslut 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 159  |  
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28 year old bisexual Japanese Female

So, I have this friend who is also a colleague that is bisexual.

If you a looking for a story with me fucking her with another girl or guy you should skip this because I never fucked her and never will.
There is no sexing or erotic about this story but I thought it was interesting to share with you all.

I have been working with her for few years now and she is one of the closest colleagues at my work place.
She is intelligent, beautiful, funny, outgoing etc.
She stands about 5ft 6 (168cm) nice figure, long legs with a cute firm ass.
Her ass is the only thing I touched erotically on h... Continue»
Posted by drpepper23 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 158  |  
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SilkPanties22 (Fourth stab at humor in sex)

Man pretends to be a woman on an adult story/chat site...

SilkPanties22 (Fourth stab at humor in sex)


One of my newfound hobbies, so to speak, is reading and writing sex fantasy stories on a sex fantasy website. It is a site I stumbled across while innocently reading an article on sex fantasy.

Since joining the site I have found myself fascinated by the number and variety of sex fantasies. It has provided me with countless hours of entertainment. Reading people's fantasies is sort of a way to get into their minds unobserved. I even wrote a few of my own.

Reading t... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 157  |  
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Old Jewish Man

A old Jewish man on his deathbed whispered, "Sarah, Sarah, where are
you, my dear wife?"
"Right here at your side, my love."
"And my son, Moishe...where is he?"
"Right here at your side, papa."
"And my daughter, Mitsy...where is she?"
"Right here at your side, papa."
"And my son, Abraham...where is he?"
"Right here at your side, papa."
"What, none of you assholes is minding the store?"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 156  |  
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Unusual Footwear

I had a feeling I knew where tonight’s escapade was going. Kara had been glancing down at that second drawing on the coffee table most of the evening. We had been sitting on the sofa reading for a couple of hours, resting up after a bit of touristy activity. Kara’s feet were resting in my lap. Well, not exactly resting; she was using them to teasingly fondle my cock and balls.
I had noticed earlier that the Magnums were still on the nightstand from two nights previous, but I had also noticed that two of the sealed packets had been pulled from the box. I glanced to Kara, eying the drawing agai... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 156  |  
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Making Love with U rocks me Good :D

in my usual time to come home after work... u did go for a shower... i sneak in bathroom... oh my sexy babe naked under water ;) i took off my cloths silently and step in to join u :*

My arms wrapped around ur body... and i pulled u tighter into me... our kisses become deeper as our bodies pressed hard against each other... oh babe i love how u kiss me passionately and wildy in same time :*

ur attitude make me feel hornier so fast... as I left kissing ur sweet lips to start kissing down ur delicious neck... u moaned as my lips brushed down ur neck sensitively... and one of ur hands drop ... Continue»
Posted by LadyWild 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 156