Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 103

wow omegle delirium....... whatever fits everyone



Επιλογή γλώσσας ▼
18,703 strangers online
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
How many penises does your ideal mate own?

You: ????
Stranger: um...
You: i cant really get that
You: i ll say 20
Stranger: too little
Stranger: 50
You: i am raising my bid to 70
Stranger: 90
You: 100
Stranger: 150
You: oh i cant beat that u win
You: 150 1
You: 150 2
You: 150 3
You: the ideal mate goes to stranger 2
Stranger: yaay
Stranger: *feels proud*
Stranger: in your face sucker I won
You: fuck
You: i lost
Stranger: now what wil... Continue»
Posted by virgin20yearold 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 258  |  
80%

godess sarita 10 (stress releave)

after goddess had her promotion she stays a lot busy with work now a days and I had to do the regular hose work and carried out whatever goddess asked to do like a good sissy maid..
it was wensday evening goddess came home all tired and stressed I kneeled infront of her and removed her shoes den liked her sweaty feets dry it was a regular day job .. she got up and went to room after a while when I finished serving dinner I was called to her room goddess was doing some papper work and was worried..
she asked me to strip she didn't even look at me I stood all naked my pubic hair wasn't shaved ... Continue»
Posted by mashroorr 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 255  |  
100%

Just a movie

"... and a large buttered popcorn." He finishes ordering, turns to me and asks, "Anything else?"

"Chocolate," I answer, pointing to the box of nonpareils in the glass case.

"Little bedazzled nipples," I whisper in his ear.

His snort of laughter startles the clerk who smiles nervously as she completes our order.

Gathering up our snacks, we head to the corridor behind the concession stand, walk down the dark hall and find the door.

"Here okay?" he asks, pausing at a short row of seats tucked away in the very back of the room. Judging from their boisterous behavior, the handful o... Continue»
Posted by Chris_total 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 254  |  
100%

is this sex? pt 2

man that was one hellava night the sex was priceless ,the sl**p extra well rested lol.I expected sex what i did not expect was a good fucking like that she was a pro when she bent over thats all she wrote.Recovering i decided to take a shower when i heard a lil laugh , see i was in the bed contenplaton when that laugh that i keep hearing became louder "HOLY SHIT" she was in the bed laying with me the whole time reminising i had not got up to piss or any thing i simply opened my eyes and started to think she popped her head up from the covers and said great sex hun? I replied yes ver... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 255  |  
80%
  |  3

NYMPHOCOM - ch 03

(I was inspired by a story I found somewhere on the net, it was called "Sam's fall from grace", I don't know the author but thanks a lot to him for the great story)

Chapter 3 - the AJHAB feature


I did not sl**p well that night. I was having nightmares about my close encounter with death. Julie and I were just incredibly lucky to not have been caught by her muscular boyfriend. Thanks to her quick reaction and also to the fact that her boyfriend was probably exhausted from his football match I made it safely out of her apartment. But what would have happened if he had come home five mi... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 253  |  
100%
  |  1

"Mostly" Ghostly: The Summarised Ending

I've written myself into a corner with this story and can't seem to find a way out so here's the plot in a nutshell.

Jack and Regan continue to grow closer and eventually fall in love. Regan wants so desperately to be with Jack that she attempts suicide by overdose. Jack sees what he's doing to Regan and decides to leave so she can move on.

Two years later Regan is now Engaged to a man she met at work named Kyle.

Jack is a wandering spirit who suddenly finds himself drawn back to town. It turns out that he wasn't dead at all just a disembodied spirit. When they pull the plug on his... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 253  |  
100%
  |  2

Knowing the Right Size

If your bra is uncomfortable, it's the wrong one for your body. If you don't look better with it than without it, it's the wrong one for your body.

It really is that simple. But here are some more specific clues that you need to go back to the lingerie department:

• The straps are either falling off or digging into your shoulders
• The band either pinches your rib cage or rides up in back.
• The cups gape or your breasts are oozing out of them (sometimes causing a "dented" look under clothes).
• The underwire either digs into your rib cage or catches your arms when you swing them forw... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 252  |  
60%
  |  1

Ambushed Part 1

By the fall of 1976 Elizette and I had been deeply involved for over a year. A petite Brazilian, she had jet black hair the length of her back, flawless bronze skin, large, dark brown eyes, and a lissome, graceful body. At twenty, she was almost insatiably sexual. We would have sex five or six times a week, sometimes three times a day. Everything from long languid afternoons of massage and foreplay to quickies in public places. Once at a baseball game she sat on my lap in a tactically parted wrap around skirt. On another, we fuck like mink, buck naked, on the altar of a Catholic church und... Continue»
Posted by anacharsis 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 252  |  
90%

Dibs

None of my friends liked Dibs, I don't even
think they knew his real name, just the stupid
nickname some sarcastic teacher gave him.
Dibs was very quiet, never spoke much, seemed to
have no friends. None except me that is. My friends
made fun of him, teased him or ignored him. Well
everyone did really. But I liked him. I liked his
resilience, never seeming to care that he wasn't
part of the social scene. I liked the way that he
was so much clever than everyone, including the teachers
but he was never arrogant. In fact he tried to hide
his intelligence sensing that it ... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 251  |  
64%

A visit in the night

Chigaru entered Asim’s room like the predator he was. He knew what he wanted and wasn’t leaving without it. Approaching the bed he looked down at Asim’s sl**ping form and smiled at the small snores he could hear. Asim was sl**ping so peacefully. As he turned for the door Asim rolled over and opened his eyes.
“Chigaru couldn’t speak as he looked down at Asim’s chest laid bare by the slipping sheet. He rolled over and sat up some making the sheet slip down even more showing Asim’s smooth mid-drift and as Chigaru looked he saw a trail of hair leading from Asim’s bellybutton down below the c... Continue»
Posted by bigdick099 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 251  |  
75%

Fingerdoo

Bumfelt led Fingerdoo from the bar, back to his car, parked in the alleyway. He opened her door. She brushed past him. The slightest touch of a breast on his arm again like earlier in the interrogation room. Bumfelt shut the door, walked around the rear of the car and climbed into his seat.
“Do you think I’m dangerous?” asked Fingerdoo, looking at him with hungry, slightly inebriated eyes.
“Yes,” replied Bumfelt. “Yes I do.”
“Then, why are you here?”
“I don’t-“
“You like the danger don’t you? You’re drawn to it,” she said, shifting in her seat. Her skirt hitched up. Bumfelt ... Continue»
Posted by sirspunky 4 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 251  |  
100%

Bank Job

My job working for a temp agency was a lot of fun while I had it. I was
just out of college and looking for work in the film industry, and needed a
way to get myself food and shelter--a couple of luxuries I had grown
accustomed to over the years. The temp job was good for a guy in my
position--I often could pick my own hours, it never got boring (as I rarely
stayed at any one place more than a couple of weeks) and it paid pretty well,
especially since I usually got the higher paying word processing jobs. I
knew my way around computers and could do more with word processing programs
... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 250  |  
97%
  |  1

A Devilish Fairy Tale

A Devilish Fairy Tale by Paddy57



Let me tell you a tail of two little devils called Sparky and Brandy.

The Sparky-Devil was not worldly wise and he like all male devils scurried around with massive pair of horns on his head, a little forked tail and a massive erection, ever upward in his mind. He sought one thing - sex. His whole function in life was to make she-devils squeal with pleasure.

The Brandy-Devil was a she-devil, and like all she-devils she liked to Brandy poor he-devils. She would lay traps for them and Brandy them, make fun of their horns, tweak their tails and fi... Continue»
Posted by paddy57 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 250  |  
100%
  |  1

Nothing but fun!

He opened the door to her and took a long look at her. She was wearing a short black skirt, black fishnets with knee boots and a low cut top that showed her amazing big tits, he remembered she had told him that they were 36DD.

"You came" he said as she walked in. He was suprised that she was there as they had met through a website and she had told him she had a boyfriend. Although that didn't matter to her as she had met him by cheating on her ex-husband.

He offered her a coffee to which she said "I'm here for something hot and black hun but it isn't coffee" She then threw her arms arou... Continue»
Posted by lisa5217 7 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 250  |  
100%

A goth´s good time

All my stories are true

2010, August 31
About 9:25 pm

This story is a rough prologue to
A dominate goth
http://xhamster.com/user/Bea69/posts/41234.html
and
Vengeance is sweet
http://xhamster.com/user/Bea69/posts/55130.html

As always you can find the animated pictures in my profile

Despite is was the last day of august the temperatures once again shot up. I don't know the exact temperatures by today, but it was so hot that every sunbeam hurts. Therefore I was extremely eased it already had cooled down a bit due to the daytime. The sun already had sunk and a brisk wind blew. Fr... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 250  |  
85%
  |  2

IS this sex ? part 1

want to talk about good sex i had some of the best sex of mylife,there she was my sexual wettt pussied demon ready to release my circular testiclerballs of joy wait, wait , i cant start the story like this!!?!! (from the top)!
talk about good sex I had some of the best sex in my life
i mean she was sexy soft had a low voice and was shy she was more the reserved type she didnt rush things like most,as a matter of fact she wouldnt let me touch her the first night only a kiss on the cheek and i thought to my self she must b one of those types that want a relation ship or somethen to that eff... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 247  |  
57%
  |  2

Kirk & Erin

[user]http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin[/user]

I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
__________________________________... Continue»
Posted by alaskaxxx 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 247  |  
95%
  |  4

A Day in Dick's Life

She was so warm, wet and willing as I eased into her after some serious stroking and arousal. I was standing tall and stiff, dribbling my juices as I got ready to dive in...

Then I awakened from my wet dream to find my appendage slowly waking up. I was still stiff and ready but I was just morning wood - too bad Big Head didn't score a warm fuzzy snatch for me to perform with, but that's not unusual. Me, I can make a woman moan but Big Head keeps blowing it so I spend too many nights just flopping around.

Now the big appendage that carries me around is up and headed for the bathroom. ... Continue»
Posted by n2oral 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 247  |  
100%
  |  1

Cindy gets her first taste of anal.

Cindy moaned softly as Dane slipped two fingers inside of her. She felt the familiar ripples of orgasm overwhelm her senses, body tightening around his digits, juices dripping onto his hand. She stood there, rigid as his fingers worked their magic, rubbing and caressing her secret places.

She looked down at him sitting in front of her, arm muscles tensed, and saw the predatory gleam in his eyes, he wanted her... NOW... She whimpered at this, remembering the other times he had made her cum until it felt like her head would explode. He seemed to be holding back now, teasing her, his fingers ... Continue»
Posted by fotisampini 10 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 245  |  
100%

Quickie Sensual Blowjob

Alright people this is my first attempt at a short story and it came from the help of an xhamster friend, thanks "Mouthlove"

I would choose the one next to her with the sensual and sexy face and the piercing eyes. Now how would like for her to please me well I would have to say while we were at a private night club and we had a semi secluded table and we had been flirting and teasing each other immensely and so she tells me to sit back and relax and she has a gift and surprise for me so she slides down my body and lowers my zipper and pulls out my cock and slowly starts to lick around the ... Continue»
Posted by flmixxer40 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 244  |  
87%
  |  4