Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

First Time in Person

Our eyes locked across the length of the airport lobby. We'd met
countless times before, but only in cyberspace. From the first time
we'd chatted and ended up teasing each other into frenzied orgasms, we
knew we'd have to meet in person. When we "talked" online, we always
skipped the small talk, "Hi, how are you?" and sped right to the sex.
Sometimes it was slow and seductive, but mostly it was hard and direct,
with lots of colorful language.

I was 22. You were 34. We had talked about desires. I wanted an older
man, someone to dominate me, take advantage of me. You wanted a
y... Continue»
Posted by Gyrl 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Manghihilot na manyak!

In our place, there is one quack doctor as I can say. We locally called this "manghihilot", whenever we have some kind of sickness that medical doctors can not cure, we turn to them for cure. They usually use oil and oration and other amulets that drives sickness or bad spirits away. They usually do "hilot" or a type of curative massage that focuses on relieving bodily pains and sickness.

Our "manghihilot" is known in our area since I was a c***d, during that time he is on his 50s or something. Until now, he still performs "hilot" and at his age, which I assume at around 80s, is still ... Continue»
Posted by mrsbogmaliso 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Enjoyed by thieves



Hello everyone I would be never be able to forget the most nerve wrecking night of my life I am girl from Mumbai my name is Sanjana I am working with an IT company staying all alone in my office accomodation. I like seducing men because I am incredibly sexy with a milky white body like 36b – 32 – 38 figure fleshy and tight pussy . I have got a very seducing eyes , long hairs, gorgeous lips I have coloured my hairs red , and always keep body clean , non hairy and smell ... Continue»
Posted by bava12 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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St Paddy's School for the Scandal – The

St Paddy's School for the Scandal – The Head Girl does her Oral Examination


First – this is a naughty schoolgirl bondage fantasy for adults – it is not intended to imply any u******e or other practices!! Think St Trinians!

In the wilds of the countryside there exists a School. It has large lush grounds, playing fields and woods. The main school building is probably Victorian in era. One can never be quite certain about these things, but it is a large gray stone building with fake Gothic arches and spires and it has ivy growing over it. The main building houses the teacher’s offices an... Continue»
Posted by paddy57 10 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Great Sex

How many a****ls do you find after great sex? 2 tired Asses,1 wet Kitty,and dead Cock.... Continue»
Posted by bildwarrior 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Porno Night


Lying in bed she said: shall we watch a porno? What, really? I asked, not sure if it was some sort of trap, wary from her Columbo routine by now.
But she was really, not really sure, but really all the same. Ok, but I’m not sure if I know any websites. She laughed – such an absurd lie could not be taken too seriously.

Up popped the main page. It’s a bit much she complained. These are just the categories, I said, we haven’t even got to the proper bit yet!
I scrolled down the categories. Ok, so we’ve got interracial, mature, storyline, female friendly – what’s that? she asked. That’s wher... Continue»
Posted by Josef_K 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Steamy story

I originally wrote this for a chick on a dating site who may or may not have been a dude... or a bot...

I'm looking at that picture of you in the black dress with the white polka dots. I can imagine you wearing that, one spaghetti strap dangling over your tattooed shoulder. Our eyes meet with a sultry glance and your hand teasingly reaches into your dress, exposing more of your creamy white flesh, but not enough to reveal aereola. From the bulge in my pants and the approving look on my face, you know the curves of your toned, slender body are driving me to the edge of sanity. First, yo... Continue»
Posted by Fork 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 8: The Cure for What Ail

One Week Later....

As I regained my strength in my room. Ben was there every day keeping me aprised of his research. "Dude!" he said bursting into my room. "Guess what I found!" he added. "What?" I asked lampooning his excitement. "I found THE Milo Rembaldi expert, his name is Dr. Michael Reyerson!" "And this helps us how?" I asked. "Because not only is he the Rembaldi expert he's also his great grandson. He was Born Milo Michael Rembaldi!" "We gotta talk to this guy, he has to have answers!" I said sitting up. "The only drawback is that he lives and works in Coleman...that's 40 miles away!... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My Girlfriend Told Me She's Gay

Not really a true story...but, it sounds like fun...

My Girlfriend Told Me She's Gay

I had a girlfriend who told me she's gay,
My first reaction was to say "No way."
I gave this situation some heavy thought,
It seemed so against everything I was taught,
I told her she just had to go,
Who it was I didn't want to know,
I told her she could do what she like,
I didn't want to meet this other dyke,
Then in a while instead of being furious,
I found myself becoming a bit curious,
What she told me nearly put me in shock,
She'd been dating the girl down the block,
The on... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 4)

Dorothy and Leandra stood there silent, then a slate of rock moved down, opening up a way out of the circle of rocks that imprisoned them.

"Well theres the way out what do we do Dorothy"

"I don't know Leandra, we have to decided before they trap us here forever"

Leandra went over and grabbed their things. Picking up their clothes and her bag. She brought them over to the opening and tossed them out. She stood there looking out at the freedom her clothes had, but she still felt trapped. She didn't want to make the decision. Maybe her and Dorothy could come up with a way to get out. Th... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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HOW THEY HAVE SEX

HOW THEY HAVE SEX

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest ... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Interview with Caroline Laurence, translated, on h

Interview with Caroline Laurence on filming "La Vénus á Lulu" - 1991 Dir: D. Losset
Interview with Michel Legrand - "Le Filme" magazine... August 1992.


ML: How did you get the role as Venus in this film?

CL: My agent phoned me & said there was a role in a TV film calling for a slim Nordic-looking girl.... BUT...........I'd have to be naked through most of it & have to act with little boys, no sexual bits, very tasteful & directed by Daniel Losset as a 'Jacques Tati-style' comedy, just be naked for most of the scenes, although discretely filmed & covered by scener... Continue»
Posted by septictone 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Shakedown

"Strip," I said.
"What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?"
"I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads."
"Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Strip," I said.
She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood before me and she was quite simply stunning. She wore a white blouse. The material sheer a... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Freeze frame.

Watching her in the shower is a thrill, the slow fall of water flowing down her caramel skin legs, wr****g around those perfectly toned thighs long lean, graceful every move of the wash cloth over her flat stomach, bubbles gathering in her belly button praying to call it home, with her quick spin on the heels of her feet they are whipped away, shoulders elegantly dropped feeling the water rush over her short light brown hair, with soap on her face I make my move, open the door and slip right in, standing from behind my hands firmly grasp her arms and slide down to her hands fingers interlock, ... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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FAQs About Me

I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.

1. Do you do guys?

As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.

2. Do you do girls?

Yes. Of all ages.

3. What are your views on i****t?

Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 5 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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ivy league ch 2

"Umm... well," he hesitated only for a moment because he had his side of the story already figured out. He realized it would come to this, so he had a plan in mind. "Your son insisted that he come to the concert with us, even though we warned him to follow your rules. On the way to the concert he got pulled over for speeding. The cop searched your car and found his d**gs."

"My son doesn't do d**gs! He said those were yours!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, but he's just trying to lay the blame on someone else," he replied smugly.

"How dare you accuse my son of being a liar," she said angrily.
... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The day it rained

So, we'd been wed for more than a week now..the love was blossoming but we had not managed to get our inhibitions out of the way and get down to business if you know what I mean. Mr P and I had met online, and after a 5 month long-distance relationship I fell for his dry sense of humor and sexy deep voice. I am an attractive woman and my ladies are a 36 C and I haven't ever shied away from showing off my cleavage and watching men stare ;) ..
House was full of relatives post wedding meant we had not managed to get anywhere apart from me staring at his hard manhood poking through his jammies a... Continue»
Posted by p_wangdu 24 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Harley Quinn and Batgirl

Batgirl was out in gotham it had been a long night and she was ready to head home as nothing much was going on. Just then something caught her eye a shadow in the next street.

She moved stealthy over and knelt down peering around the corner, she saw harley quinn trying to break in to the back of a jewelers store, batgirl sighed thinking she was in the mood for this but moved round the corner sneaking up behind harley.

"need a hand there harley" batgirl said, harley jumped around "no im ok thank's" she said with a cheeky smile, "oh cut that out right now I don't have time for this im taki... Continue»
Posted by michaelalwayshorny 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Susanna Francessca on James Whale Show

This is a true story sent to me by a friend. There's lots of pictures and videos of Susanna here on my channel and also all over the internet. She's worth a look at !!!!

"There used to be a television programme in the UK called ‘The James Whale Show’. It was a  mixture of interviews with famous people and a bit of nudity as well. I remember seeing Susanna on there a few times, but in pretty minor roles, always looking sexy but mainly dressed. However, one week she was on a lot more.
There used to be a topless girl dressed as a mermaid on most weeks and James Whale would always stand near ... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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