Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

The Worm - Memoir

A few years ago, a good few years ago, I used to subscribe intermittently to a fetish mag called Axis which regular readers of my stories will already be aware of. You may even have heard of it; or even been members. It was, I think, a non-commercial enterprise but has now folded.

Anyway, the first meeting I had through it was with Mistress V, a lifestyle Domme, which I have already told you about.

A couple of years after Jodie and a couple of other girlfriends, and single, I encountered ‘The Worm’ and that’s what I’d like to share with you today…

*

I can't remember ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Bitter...But Oh So Sweet

As I sit here and write this I think to myself...this is still one of the most...well, when you read it you'll see what I'm talking about.

Around the same week I met a sexy BBW & a Atlethic yet thin guy:

She had chocolate skin, huge tits, a huge clit that stood straight up (she showed me via pics) & a thick ass that made you want to just bite it! She was very pretty in the face as well.

He was toned everywhere! His stomach was filled with muscle, his skin was carmel & smooth, HIS DICK WAS HUGE!

I talked to both of them eveyday. I was more of a friend to him and we saw each... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Porch (an un-story)

The collar snug against my neck...a leash attached to the porch rail on both sides limits my movement....the warm breeze gently blows across my naked body...kneeling on the porch step my hands laced in front of me pushing my full round breast together...my strong desire for your thick throbbing cock as you stand on the porch with your jeans undone...teasing my lips making my mouth open wide for it… making my neck press against my collar as I stretch out for it...my mouth waters watching your fingers squeeze your shaft firmly as you stroke it forward & back...knowing you have full control of wh... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Future

It's the thirty first century and I'm a cop who just completed an assignment. Me and my parner busted some d**g kingpin importing d**gs from another planet making a killing. The d**g was similar to cocaine but only stronger and the both of us came and closed up shop permanently. Afterwards I went straight home and took a long warm shower. I stood there and let the water come crashing down my body feeling all the tension float away after a long day of catching the bad guys and kicking ass. In the kitchen my girlfriend was making dinner and I could smell it all the way in here. When it came to w... Continue»
Posted by my_way_out 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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10 strange facts about kissing

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Pilot and lesbian

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, 'I'm a les... Continue»
Posted by semper-et-ubique 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The name's James Hard-on. Part II

This is a James Bond Gay spoof.

I answered it. "Hard-on here."

The boss B spoke. "Did you manage to find any evidence of Wadd?"

I smirked and pulled out the closed container of his white fluid. "Oh affirmative. I definitely 'managed' to pull it out of him. 3 pints of it possibly from my gues."

"Hard-on. You didn't."

"Well you wanted DNA, didn't you?"

"Yes but a simple skin sample would have sufficed."

"Yeah but what fun would that have done..." and I made a little titter. "Noblofeld is heading to Switzerland for some reason and I have to find out where exactly in or... Continue»
Posted by damlovmature 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The story of how this all started, and ended.

The true story of how I became a "pornstar" thanks to my pervert of a roommate.

So how does one go from being a VERY lucky bartender, banging lots of customers and co-workers, to a maker of many personal porn movies?

Well, in my case, it’s simple. My roommate. I'll call him Larry, because I'm sure if he's still alive, he will eventually find me on this site.

Larry was the perfect roommate for a guy like me, he was my opposite. If I was considered a party a****l my freshman and softmore years, he would have been the nerd. He was the perfect pick when I moved off campus mid soft mor... Continue»
Posted by the_bartender 11 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Facial Faux Pas

This story is completely true and takes place about 3 years ago (2009). I had been seeing my ex girlfriend for about 2 months at this time and we had done pretty much everything but sex. Normally we would see each other once maybe twice a week because we lived about an hour away from each other. So because we were teenagers, we just needed to do something sexual every time we go together. Usually this would end up in her giving me head, or me fingering her.

The reason we did not actually have sex is because we were both virgins and she wanted to wait a little while before we eventually ... Continue»
Posted by Monkeyfohead16 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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First BJ cd/cd

The first time I gave a blow job to another gurl was some years ago, She could only meet after 3 am when she got off work. I took a room with a hot tub in hopes of using it. I laid in some frozen vodka and a few munchies. I did my makeup, shaved everything to perfection. Corset, black stocking, FGPs (black and red toeless}, and I had my pedicurist put fuck me red polish on my nails.

She arrived on time and went into the bath to change. She would have been a very good looking trap with some minor effort. We got into bed and I asked a few necessary questions like are you disease free: Yes, L... Continue»
Posted by williegirle 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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The Italian Job 10

The Italian job 10
I must have dropped off to sl**p because the next thing I knew she was poking me in the ribs saying “come on sl**py, time to wake up” she said “I have some coffee for you” “what time is it” I said “10.00pm, we slept for 2 hours but I feel fantastic, you certainly managed to fill my void, thank you! not only for the sex but for making me feel like a real live woman again, the way your cock reacts to my nakedness is refreshing” she purred “you should get naked more often then” I said to her, she looked at me “are you saying you want to fuck me again?” she asked “ I don’t have... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Voyers That Got Away...

After graduating HS I became the girl that the guys I went to school with were curious about. 1 of them was 1 of my biggest crushes. He was twin and I was so into this weird little dude.

We crossed paths again while I was out 1 day and attending an event wit my s****r and we exchanged numbers. The look he gave me let me know why he wanted to exchange numbers. He wanted to fuck me. He knew it, I knew it & it was damn sure gonna happen!

The first time we got together he was shy,but so ready. He picked me up and we grabbed a bite to eat and I was just having a nite out with nothing in mind... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – E is for Ending Friday

So, shortly after Catherine got fucked in her van for two hours, She drove me back to school so I could go home. I got home about 6, about ten minutes before my Mom. Great timing, so I wouldn’t have to explain anything.

I ate supper, then retired to my room to reflect on the trip to the park and subsequent sex in a van. Catherine’s Double D tits were firmly engraved in my memory, as was her tight ass and willingness to suck and fuck. I’d be revisiting her church sometime.

I pulled my cock out to jackoff to my memory, when my phone buzzed. I almost ignored it, but I’m glad I didn’t. It w... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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PART TIME BLOWJOB

It had been over three weeks now since Lindy and her boyfriend had broken up and the sexual tension that had slowly been building up in her plump pussy was now becoming almost unbearable!!! Even her secretary had noticed that for the past several days she had barely been able to concentrate on her work!!! Ever since her freshman year at college, she had always had a boyfriend who would naturally take care of all of her sexual needs, but now for the first time in her life, she was going through a period of time without a man on the horizon!!! At five minutes to five, her secretary Betty popp... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Kelly Pimps Out Chrissie (a Chrissie Conway story)

Kelly Pimps Out Chrissie (a Chrissie Conway story)


When I think back on all the years that I spent almost every day with Kelly I can't help but think that she
just may be a big part of the reason I'm a high paid "tranny whore" today. Kelly never missed on opportunity to
"pimp me out" whenever she got the chance, especially if it would benefit her in some way. Today Kelly is a
detective with the County Sheriff's Department. Going from a lesbian "pimp" to a lesbian cop just may be one of
the stranger lifestyle changes you'll see. OK so she wasn't a real '"Superfly" pimp or Manhat... Continue»
Posted by chrissieCD 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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My Big Fat Farty Friend 3

Hello lovelies, it's Danni here again just in time for Christmas...though there's no way you could fit me down your chimney hehe!

I can't believe how much you all love my silly little anecdotes, but I'm so glad you do and I'm happy to share them here via my lovely mate.

So, when I last left you I was talking about the time I was trapped in a lift and how I stunk the place out before getting rescued by a very hunky very dishy fireman.

I'm going to tell you what happened next.

It was a couple of nights later when Brendan, that was the fireman's name, rang me. I'd just got in from wo... Continue»
Posted by gwensational 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Mike and Becky

Mike and Becky met in a bar in Louisiana, Mike had never been in that state before, he had never been in the country but had contacted Becky through an internet site! This sounds strange but it is not really! They both had a few drinks then Becky said " I feel I have been really naughty, what would you like to do to me?" Mike said ..." Well Girl a bit of corporal punishment should be in order!" "OH What sort??" ! A Fucking good thrashing, over my knee! He pulled her skirt up, her panties down then spanked her on the bit between her thighs and buttocks, Becky came almost at once, Mike pulled... Continue»
Posted by tusker 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Creation Of The Vagina

My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina


There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
Posted by Ari32 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Bully: Part 3

My plan to soften the Stone wall that was Erin Hardy was entering it's second week. After five days of one-sided banter I found myself contemplating another strategy.

"I'm gonna join the Crew!" I said with a smile.

"You wanna join Erin's crew...why?" Mouse asked.

"To get close to her and win her over man."

"And how do you plan to do that my good sir." he asked.

"Phase one, I steal her truck."

"I'd like to see you try, they never leave it unguarded for long."

"Yeah that would be a problem if I didn't already do it." I said handing him my iPhone. On the screen was a sn... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Best Day

I was doing my cleaning duties, Big cotton pants, tan tights, Skirt and blouse from charity shop. Knock on the door, as usual I went to hide in the bathroom. Its ok you can come out. When I went in the lounge there was wifes best mate H. She smiled as I felt like dying. Oh I see what you mean!! My wife K said lift your skirt! I was close to tears. Look at those panties said H oh dear how sad are those?.

I was sent to shower and shave all my pubes. When I got to the bedroom there was a pair of French knickers and hold up stockings. A nice black bra with inserts plus a red underskirt. I dre... Continue»
Posted by davanamx 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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