Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

15 Things That Can Impress Every Girl

This is what all girls had to say when we asked them to mention a few traits that they like or dislike about men. So if you haven’t been out with women, or haven’t been able to hold on to a steady girlfriend, take a look. With this, tomorrow could be your lucky day! we compiled a few turn on’s and a few turn off’s that the men can definitely use.







Things that Impress Women

1. Confidence
2. Sense of Humor
3. Intelligence
4. Support
5. Sensitivity
6. Self-Worth
7. Focused Goals
8. Great Imagination
9. Independent Streak
10. Passionate and Desirous
11. Bravery and Coura... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sex-facts' you never knew

1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days.

2. Condoms are biodegradable — some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't.

3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available.

4. Don't douche — it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacte... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Vibration Platform Fitness Machine Product Review

A few months ago my husband and I looked at all different brands of the vibration platform physical fitness machines displayed at a Zoomer Show. After testing all of the exercise positions shown on the visual guide (particularly the sitting ones), I decided that the Turbovibe Light suited my personal requirements the best. I particularly liked the dual motors concept and the flexibility of the electronic remote programming features. All of the other machines at the show had a complex superstructure that I felt impeded diagonal access to the plate area, thus limiting my inventive routines.

S... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Bully: Part 3

My plan to soften the Stone wall that was Erin Hardy was entering it's second week. After five days of one-sided banter I found myself contemplating another strategy.

"I'm gonna join the Crew!" I said with a smile.

"You wanna join Erin's crew...why?" Mouse asked.

"To get close to her and win her over man."

"And how do you plan to do that my good sir." he asked.

"Phase one, I steal her truck."

"I'd like to see you try, they never leave it unguarded for long."

"Yeah that would be a problem if I didn't already do it." I said handing him my iPhone. On the screen was a sn... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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cyber sex

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stere... Continue»
Posted by musclecock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Idle Jack

An old, old tale of Lady Jane
Of how she lost her honour.
And how the lad called Idle Jack
Inflicted shame upon her.

Young Jane, a pure and simple lass,
Of years just sweet eighteen
With hair of gold and eyes so blue
And skin like golden cream.

Whene're she walked around the town
The local lads would sigh
And all their trouser fronts would bulge
As this fair lass passed by.

But Lady Jane was innocent
And never knew the score
She just assumed the bulge was naught
And knew not what it's for.

No... Continue»
Posted by pictureman645 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Supernatual Seduction

Moving into my new home was both exciting and a little scary. It gave me a feeling of accomplishment and independence, as I struck out on my own for the first time, to take on the world. The house is old and could use some tender loving care but it is all mine. A place where I would make all the decisions and accept all the responsibilities for them. All of my furniture is hand me downs from my f****y and friends. I hope to save some money so eventually I can buy all new things and decorate the whole house to be my dream home.


At first sl**ping in the old house was a little unpleas... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Cum for me

it was a late thursday evening, i was revising hard for my biology exam, i got to the sex ed part of my revision guide and my penis grew like a daffodil spring,i was stroking my penis tirelessley when my nan walked in, out of nowhere saucey music began to play, she took off her dressing gown and uttered the words " let me play with your daffodildo big boy" and then she died. ... Continue»
Posted by thebakemeister 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Two Islands: Day 3 - II

After the morning wrestle, I decided to go fishing. AJ & Rina were still diving. The adults got back from mainland. The good news is they brought back enough beer to keep the twins and Maribel from continuing their reverse gang bang.

I never done fishing with a real fishing rod before so when I tried to throw the line, I got myself hooked at my right shoulder. I flinched from the pain and tried not to move so much so I wouldn't feel the small piece of metal injected in my skin rubbing my flesh. I didn't call out for help. Thinking my aunt would just get mad for being careless. Instead, I tr... Continue»
Posted by blu3rthanu 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Italian Job 18

The Italian Job 18
I have re-submitted this one after some confusion, so if it crops up again, just ignore it, this one may be a bit of a tear jerker so ladies have your hankies ready.

Several weeks past and all was relatively quiet but I was troubled, something was bugging me and I could not make up my mind, I said nothing to Ellie but finally succumbed and went to Genoa, I knew the address and parked outside, I sat in the car for an hour trying to get up the courage to go and knock on the door, finally I went to the door, I knocked and a tall elegant middle aged Italian woman answered th... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Freewill 504: Part 7 Fun and Games

Freewill 504: Part 7 Fun and Games


Me and my two roommates sat quietly in our room studying. For me this wasn't an unusual way to spend a Friday night, especially so deep in a semester, but for Carol and Jessica, it was a rarity indeed. Usually their idea of studying included the stereo blasting and the television on at full volume so it could be heard over the music. This was doubly strange since it was a Friday night. They never stayed home on a weekend night. I sipped at my Diet Coke and continued to flip through my Chemistry book. It was probably ten minutes later that I heard my firs... Continue»
Posted by tzrlvr 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 24

The Italian Job 24
Maria and I went back to the hotel, we went to the room and she decided she would like to go to the pool for a nap in the sun,
I rang Ellie and told her what had happened with Eduardo, she was very sympathetic and asked if Maria was ok and how I was getting on with her, I told her everything was fine and not to fret,
I still loved her, I think she just needed to hear me say it, I changed into my swimmers and went down to the pool, a young guy was sitting on a sunbed next to Maria who was laid on a sunbed, she had her eyes closed, she had her bikini on but I was not sur... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Vampires! Final Chapter




It was just after sunset and Danny was relaxing alone on a large four poster bed in the luxurious home of the vampire called Christian.

Danny had come to Christian's elegant home with his neighbor Sylvia, who was also a bl**d sucking vampire. Danny and Sylvia had a neat little, mutually beneficial arrangement going where Danny would let the beautiful vampire drink a small portion of his bl**d, and in return Sylvia would give the eighteen year old mind blowing oral sex.

From what Danny c... Continue»
Posted by pornaholic63 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Interview with Caroline Laurence, translated, on h

Interview with Caroline Laurence on filming "La Vénus á Lulu" - 1991 Dir: D. Losset
Interview with Michel Legrand - "Le Filme" magazine... August 1992.


ML: How did you get the role as Venus in this film?

CL: My agent phoned me & said there was a role in a TV film calling for a slim Nordic-looking girl.... BUT...........I'd have to be naked through most of it & have to act with little boys, no sexual bits, very tasteful & directed by Daniel Losset as a 'Jacques Tati-style' comedy, just be naked for most of the scenes, although discretely filmed & covered by scener... Continue»
Posted by septictone 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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How To: Lesson One

I will be posting tips and techniques learned over the years. I may do a book but for your edification/education...

And I am pretty much a normal nice guy who is too much a giver,(why so many labels...I'm an American first)and loves women. I will write in that context. Man for women. If you're gay/lesbian/tranny/granny/etc. apply the situation to yours. I can't write for everyone's satisfaction, but mine first.

Lesson One.

Look in the mirror. Who do you see. Answer it before you go looking for sex, love, etc. Not just the physical but the spiritual, social, mental. Are you someone yo... Continue»
Posted by asianflyer 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Learning Curve with Jessica

Being with Francesca is always like a tonic and I feel completely at ease with her idiosyncrasies

Like the way she adores opera and ballet but most important of all - with me being a red bl**ded guy and all that means; her deep rooted passion which really moves the earth and everything else for me.

When we first met and started learning about each other, our likes and dislikes and how we connected with those things; how we matched interests and how much we were compatible, we both shared a wonderful new and exciting learning curve.

At the age of thirty I discovered the true woman in m... Continue»
Posted by kap007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Just a dirty fantasy I have

On the drive back to my apartment we stop at a red light, my attention turns to you, the lights of the city shine upon you, in such a way as I have never seen before, I begin to drink you in with my eyes, your flowing crimson hair, your gorgeous emerald eyes; I brush through your hair with my hand gently leaving it on your rosie cheeks, I draw you in for a kiss, as we embrace your lips quivers ,slightly, with anticipation, my kiss tender and soft, as tasting of the chocolate cake we shared for desert. We pull into the parking lot of my apartment. I exit the truck and quickly come open your doo... Continue»
Posted by fpenguin 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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Short Story

After last night I doubt I would ever speak to him again, everytime I thought about it my heart raced and my bl**d boiled! Sitting in my friends lounge room I was explaining the nights happenings and how Joe had accused me of fucking his cousin after he'd left the club which was a complete lie and was only almost a blow job in the back of a black cab one night when I dropped some change and bent over to pick it up, to which said cousin pulled my pony and pushed my face into his crotch, I could feel his hard member against my face and his grip on my hair was so tight my pussy immediately pulsed... Continue»
Posted by unknownfemale 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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European Woman's Pubic Hair Gliding Along my

Whether you've looked at my screen name or read my other posts, you know that I absolutely love a full bush. When I studied in Europe in the late-90's, I was no different. I remember in Switzerland meeting a 22 year old girl, Anya, at a club. She had a very cute face and a tall and curvy body. Shapely breasts with wide hips and a nice juicy ass to match. She was wearing a blouse with those sorts of sleeves that are more like fans or cut flaps so you can easily see her shoulders and underarms if you were looking. And I was looking. She had dark hair and through these fan sleeves (or whatever th... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Babymoons: Holidays when pregnant

Babymoons: Holidays when pregnant

Holidaying when you’re expecting is now so popular there’s even a name for it. Practical Parenting has these must-read tips for going on a ‘babymoon'

Holidays for parents-to-be are a growing trend – so much so that resorts and hotels around the world are marketing special packages specifically aimed at ‘babymooners’.

If you’re healthy and well, holidaying with a bump is a great way to relax and enjoy a bit of alone time with your partner pre-bub. But before you pack your bags and book your flights, it pays to do some homework.

The best time

The ... Continue»
Posted by billstew 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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