Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

Sex Life of an Electron

by Eddy Current

One night, when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try to
get a cute little coil to let him discharge. He picked up Millie Amp and
took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across the wheatstone
bridge around by the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing
current.


Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curves, soon had his
resistance at a minimum and his field fully excited. He laid her on the
ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered her capacitance, and pulled
out his high voltage probe. He inserted it ... Continue»
Posted by vstein 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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in love with love

what makes us different from a****ls is we form relationships.or at least some of us do.some of us just behave like a****ls.straight in straight out wham bam thank you mam and move on to the next pussy.

well i am not like that.dont get me wrong i love pussy.i love making love to a woman.i like to think of a woman like a christmas present.not all the biggest presents are the best.not always the most expensive ones either.

they need to be unwrapped with care and attention.and then the surprise you were waitng for can be found.just like in a woman.

i love to take my time with women.no ru... Continue»
Posted by 69licklover 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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Best way to help people avoid d**gs.

Final Solution for d**g addicts with proven logistic at no cost
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHuejScFZsM
Please open this video and you will like it for you and your friends.... Continue»
Posted by paulbequi 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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Hallmark Valentines Day Rejects






Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.

* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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Just some crazy stuff

FUCKING: two or more people engaging in sex, without having any meaning
Fuck in its literal meaning refers to the act of sexual intercourse. It is an English word that is almost universally considered vulgar. It is often used as a profanity, either to denote disdain or as an intensifier

SLUT: Something I like to be....a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals

WHORE: Something I'm not, but to some people I am...a prostitute or promiscuous woman
I do not take money for sex, but sometimes I wonder if I should...I'd love to have my own place, so t... Continue»
Posted by loloishorny 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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Fucked 3: The Abbey

There is nothing remotely remarkable about this story, two consenting adults of the opposite sex -
albeit with quite an age gap - but basically just two co workers fucking in a hotel room. It was, for
whatever reason REALLY erotic, so I just hope I can tell the story well enough to put it across:

In the stories Fucked and Fucked2 I ended up having a romp with my 19 - years - older colleague, Derek,
and his on/off girlfriend the GORGEOUS Elaine, and then (in Fucked 2) I just Fucked everybody else.

This was the first time Derek and I had actually been 'one on one'.

We were on ... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 3 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second stab at humor in sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same d***ken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"

"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."

"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.

"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.

"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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USS INTERPRIK a Sex Trek story (2012 by Salmacius)

This story is similar to other one You can see and is set like the cinema of the saga of "Star Trek" - so imagine in practice the same customs and the same atmosphere - and it's the story of an interplanetary voyage, with a few differences ... . that this will never find the movie or the text of it.

Chapter 1) THE DEPARTURE

It describes the journey of the "USS INTERPRIK" - starship ship in the same class as the best known "USS ENTERPRISE", but this is more modern and spacecraft that made a mysterious journey, a secret mission which for various reasons never ended for be described elsewhe... Continue»
Posted by salmacius 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 260  |  
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Increase Intimacy in your Relationship

Describe all your feelings, omitting the Shakespearean sonnets. Work out your fantasies. Ask open-ended questions, and be supportive of whatever answer that opens up. Softly whispering what you are going to do to each other will also increase sexual tension. Show your partner that you are willing to pleasure them.

Kiss to Kindle

There is nothing more exciting than a long, sensual kiss. It is seductive and intimate. Proper kissing requires proper pressure and moves. Kissing can start from anywhere, anytime, even before you reach the bedroom. If you really want to get in the right mood, ki... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 258  |  
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How to maintain a healthy sex drive

Obesity, diabetes, high bl**d pressure, thyroid dysfunction, adrenal exhaustion, poor nutrition, prescription medications, hormonal birth control, too much stress and too little sl**p. Many factors determine a healthy sex drive and today we're looking at what determines a healthy sex drive and how to maintain it.

Factors that determine a healthy sex drive
Sex hormones – For women both estrogen and testosterone at healthy levels are very vital in maintaining libido as well as fertility. In men too, testosterone is vital. Men with clinically defined low libido are often diagnosed with low ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 258  |  
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Pussy Worship

Here is my story to answer a curious person on my blog at ifounddaddy.tumblr.com:

smallwhiteguy asked: yeah i think u should let your friend your worship your pussy and how is your friend going to worship your pussy? did the guy fuck u really good? [He is referencing another guy I fucked earlier that day in the second question.]


Me: Thanks for keeping my tumblr fresh with some stories I might not have told, and drawing all the details out. You are in for some loooong answers.

Well, turns out that I did see my friend. How does he worship it, well, he starts by letting... Continue»
Posted by Missy_X 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 258  |  
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Strange Relationship – Chapter 2 (Version 3)

(Author's note: this is an early version of a much longer erotic novel. It's been through a lot of edits, but I really like some of the early versions that got canned. I hope you don't mind me reproducing them here. Of all the stories I've written - which is a lot! - Caitlin is one of my favourite creations, and I'm always looking to giver her greater exposure, as are the men (and women) in her life! You can follow her continued adventures in the different versions of the story called "Strange Relationship")


Standing at the bar, sipping a iced die... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 257  |  
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Watching Me Watching You - Strange Relationship Ve

Tuesday; the morning after the lunch before. I’m still tingling from my encounter with my boyfriend’s son, but thankfully it’s balanced by the headache that the same encounter also left me with. What I really needed was a nice quiet day at work, I had a hundred simple tasks that I could do that would take my mind off everything. The last thing I needed was to get an email from Ben.

It said simply this:

Log into the instant chat messenger.

Not even signed. I knew it was from him of course, not least because his name appeared in the sender column, but it was also recog... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 258  |  
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NYMPHOCOM - ch 03

(I was inspired by a story I found somewhere on the net, it was called "Sam's fall from grace", I don't know the author but thanks a lot to him for the great story)

Chapter 3 - the AJHAB feature


I did not sl**p well that night. I was having nightmares about my close encounter with death. Julie and I were just incredibly lucky to not have been caught by her muscular boyfriend. Thanks to her quick reaction and also to the fact that her boyfriend was probably exhausted from his football match I made it safely out of her apartment. But what would have happened if he had come home five mi... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 257  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 10

Dear Dirty Diary,

A week had passed and Doug announced the completion of our new bed. I checked out all its clothing drawers, the sliding compartments in the headboard and its bed linen bin at its foot. I ran my fingers all over its satin-finished pine and had to admit it was really handsome. My husband had done a beautiful job, but I was concerned with how we’d transport it to Quebec. He told me it was all assembled with deck screws and could be easily broken down into pieces. He said the drawers, filled with all our clothing and bedding could be stacked on top of the framework pieces.... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 257  |  
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The Queen

My quest to find the Queen of Sex Fantasy Land in search of the ultimate sexual experience...

The Queen.

I am so ashamed. I am just so ashamed of myself, you have no idea. I have been so bad I should be punished by one or two of you fine looking women. Really, I have been a bad boy. I have let you people down big time. Oh yes, I really did it this time. Here I am on an adult web site and what do I write? c***dish nonsense about lost tribes of wild women, going back to the Garden Of Eden, girls tied to fences. Utter nonsense. Here you people are out there, expecting some hot... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 257  |  
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Chap. IV - Bio love - Home delivery

Chap. IV - Bio love - Home delivery
--- Chapter IV ---

Other chapters and stories about http://bisoumidomi.unblog.fr/

There is a tool that was extremely important in my life, the Minitel, it was almost my job, at least I had access to the tool from its inception and without restrictions. If the rate it was a curiosity, the arrival of the service of dialogue, ads and other means of communication was a real aubaine.Au beginning, I never used it from time to time to discuss, in general I tried to have my corresponding to such, for further discussion. And of course I do not hide that very o... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 257  |  1

wow omegle delirium....... whatever fits everyone



Επιλογή γλώσσας ▼
18,703 strangers online
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
How many penises does your ideal mate own?

You: ????
Stranger: um...
You: i cant really get that
You: i ll say 20
Stranger: too little
Stranger: 50
You: i am raising my bid to 70
Stranger: 90
You: 100
Stranger: 150
You: oh i cant beat that u win
You: 150 1
You: 150 2
You: 150 3
You: the ideal mate goes to stranger 2
Stranger: yaay
Stranger: *feels proud*
Stranger: in your face sucker I won
You: fuck
You: i lost
Stranger: now what wil... Continue»
Posted by virgin20yearold 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 258  |  
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An 'Ode to the Cock'

'Come on, what's so terrible about a young woman love of a man's Penis?'
I personally love the feel of one, especially when it lies in my hand.
The potential it bears as it lies on my hand, drooping gently over my hand's length, watching the purplish glans become exposed as the foreskin miraculously peels back, an involuntary action, due to it's owner contemplating my excitement' and as it hardens, it's an example of positive feedback.
Soon fully erect and it rises from my hand and assumes an incredible angle, I note a single dew-drop of seminal fluid leaks from its tiny slit, I look up a... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 256  |  
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Sexy Fairytale part 7

Kristen awoke, her arms aching from being tied above her head. She was in some kind of dungeon setting, but when she tried to scream... she couldn't from the gag in her mouth. Standing mostly upright, she found that her ankles were tied apart, so that her thighs were spread and her pussy and her ass were vulnerable.

Then suddenly, the b**st stepped in front of her and she stopped struggling... he was huge! At least six and a half feet tall, with broad, strong shoulders and muscles that rippled with every movement. He was also totally naked and between his legs swung a very large cock. Krist... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 257  |  
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