Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

Mike and Becky

Mike and Becky met in a bar in Louisiana, Mike had never been in that state before, he had never been in the country but had contacted Becky through an internet site! This sounds strange but it is not really! They both had a few drinks then Becky said " I feel I have been really naughty, what would you like to do to me?" Mike said ..." Well Girl a bit of corporal punishment should be in order!" "OH What sort??" ! A Fucking good thrashing, over my knee! He pulled her skirt up, her panties down then spanked her on the bit between her thighs and buttocks, Becky came almost at once, Mike pulled... Continue»
Posted by tusker 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Creation Of The Vagina

My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina


There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
Posted by Ari32 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 13

The Italian Job 13
The following morning to a knock on the bedroom door, Hazel walked in with some coffee and toast on a tray, “morning sl**py head” she said “how are you this morning?” she asked “morning Kim” she said, as Kim shot out from under the covers, she looked at me “how did she know I was here?” she asked “she knows everything, I think she is a witch” I joked “ you had better believe it” Hazel replied, she went to open the curtains, she stopped, “you had better see this” she said, I looked and saw Maria laid outside of my window wrapped up in a blanket, she was physically shaking wi... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Bully: Part 3

My plan to soften the Stone wall that was Erin Hardy was entering it's second week. After five days of one-sided banter I found myself contemplating another strategy.

"I'm gonna join the Crew!" I said with a smile.

"You wanna join Erin's crew...why?" Mouse asked.

"To get close to her and win her over man."

"And how do you plan to do that my good sir." he asked.

"Phase one, I steal her truck."

"I'd like to see you try, they never leave it unguarded for long."

"Yeah that would be a problem if I didn't already do it." I said handing him my iPhone. On the screen was a sn... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Best Day

I was doing my cleaning duties, Big cotton pants, tan tights, Skirt and blouse from charity shop. Knock on the door, as usual I went to hide in the bathroom. Its ok you can come out. When I went in the lounge there was wifes best mate H. She smiled as I felt like dying. Oh I see what you mean!! My wife K said lift your skirt! I was close to tears. Look at those panties said H oh dear how sad are those?.

I was sent to shower and shave all my pubes. When I got to the bedroom there was a pair of French knickers and hold up stockings. A nice black bra with inserts plus a red underskirt. I dre... Continue»
Posted by davanamx 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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young adventure

In our town back when I was a young teenager there was a man who used to frequent the Gent’s toilets. Today he would probably be considered a paedophile or at least a gay sex maniac. The Gent’s toilet was a dark lit building with very small windows up near the roof standing on the corner of a side street which was a cul-de-sac. There were individual old fashioned porcelain toilet stalls. The place used to have a very strong urine smell no matter when you went in there.
The man used to be standing facing into one of the stalls in the corner. When my pal and I or anyone went in he ... Continue»
Posted by trickydicky111 6 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Pussy Glory

I'm having my morning coffee and scanning the Sunday newspaper; she comes in all wrinkled after her sl**p BUT FRESH and in her nightie. She bends over a bit and gives me the morning kiss. I kiss her back grabbing her waist with my left hand, lifting her nightie with my right and sticking my head inside her nightie; she smells GOOD. I kiss her stomach softly and smell the sweet smell of her still naked pussy. She's clean shaven with just a bit of pubic hair on her pelvis.

I'm not letting her go and just ask her to play along. I'm moving aside my empty cup and newspaper, push back my chair a... Continue»
Posted by xocci 10 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Taking a Dump


I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber.....

The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world a... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Lesley part24

"Thought you were on earlies this morning?.....how come you get such a long lie.....you shagging the boss or something? Hahaha" lesley jokingly asked Sylvia when she bumped into her at nearly one in the afternoon.

"Humph...not funny....anyway...I know who's shagging the boss" she replied with disdain.

"What's wound you up ya daft mare?"

"Guess...he's nearly thirty stone, bald, bearded, and has the charm of a Rottweiler.....and me tits are sore"

"McPeevie?.... Oh fuck...what's happened?"

"Missing notes....ring a bell?... Plus...er....some other things....I had to...er....um....... Continue»
Posted by Les1111 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Summer Sex Drought's Ended - This Time It

This is another true story from a year in college that had a series of unusual sexual and fun incidents that occurred after a summer of not getting laid due to a work schedule that put me out of touch with my network of friends.

Keri, the girl from my story “Jan Curing My Summer Sex Drought” was starting to attend my college a few weeks after my encounter with Jan at the party, where Keri’s advances were frustrated by Jan’s bold move to burst into the bathroom and give me an ambush fuck.

Keri was a cute blonde with a nice body who I pretty much ignored during high school, but what I ... Continue»
Posted by nvision 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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here's something for you and your buzzing bun

would u like to sit down on the bed and spread ur legs open... close ur eyes and lay back... i kneel infront of you and place my hands on ur boobs
mhmm
i squeez your boobs softly and slowly move my hand n pull ur nipples gently
i then lift my self up to ur boobs
and i start with soft kisses on ur left breat and then i move back to the right breat
i slowly and softly kiss around your nipples while every few kisses i flick my tongue on ur nipple
and i start to suck the right nipples softly and gently while flick my tongue on ur nipples
first i do it slow n then little bit faster and i mov... Continue»
Posted by str888888 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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NEALING IN THE DARK DAMP CHAMBER.

STORY BY THE FORBIDDENMAN
A gift to his 1000th day on xhamster!

Part 1 to 5:

WITH THE STRONG SMELL OF FILTH FILLING YOUR NOSE, AND BEING CARRIED OVER THE SHOULDER OF A MAN WHO YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF, TO FINALY BEING DUMPT ONTO THE HARD WET FLOOR, ALL ALONE IN THE DARK, AND UNABLE TO MOVE YOUR LEGS BECAUSE THEY WERE TIED TOGETHER EARLIER, ALONG WITH YOUR WRISTS, YOUR f***eD TO NEAL AND WAIT, YOU GLANCE ROUND BUT CANT SEE ANYTHING CLEARLY, ALL YOU ARE AWARE OF IS THE SOUND OF DRIPPING WATER AND YOU CAN SEE A RED GLOW, OF SOMEONE SMOKING A CIGARETTE NEAR BY, YOUR ALSO AW... Continue»
Posted by gs4love 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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One Night in April: Part 3

The next few weeks were challenging to say the least. Keeping our affair a secret while expressing animosity in public was trying for both of us. It got so bad that when we finally did have moments to ourselves we'd cry in each others arms.

Things became especially challenging when Brad's Mother invited me to their Timeshare in the Hamptons for a Month.

We'd be on the shore soaking up sun and i'd see April in her bathing suit and want desperately to fuck her. We'd quietly slip away and make out among the dunes or have a quick, passionate fuck in the last stall of a public bathroom but ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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chating spanish wife

My fingers peck at the keyboard as I blink at the screen, the words glowing fuzzily back at me. I reach out and take a sip of my soda to wet my drying lips. I read over her words again.

{my pussy is so wet for u}

I glance at my response in the send box before hitting return, watching my words magically appear on the screen before me.

{r u playing with urself now?}

I couldn't believe how wrapped up in this I had become. I never went into chatrooms before, the whole interest of computers and Internet communication escaping me, but sitting home by myself for days upon days, nothing to... Continue»
Posted by zopri 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The first time ( a meeting )

This is a true - ish story, but the names have been changed to protect the individuals.


His wife didn't understand him, she was too vanilla and he hated it. He wanted more passion, more excitement and he knew he was never going to get that at home. John had found something to keep himself, or his hands occupied too. I'm not sure, maybe he wanted to feel more wanted.
The sex site he had found had great video's on it, plenty of choice, and a world away from anything he had ever experienced ever.
John and Sara had mutual friends and had started dating, and as one by one their friends go... Continue»
Posted by redhead123 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Roaming the City on a glorious summers day I find

The sun filtered in through the window, its golden rays warming my naked flesh as I awoke.

I pushed the thin sheet covering back even further and smiled dreamily as I felt a pulse of sexual energy wash over me.

Lazily, I traced my fingers around the fullest part of my breasts, enjoying how heightened my senses were on this gorgeous sunny day. My skin tingled as fingertip connected to flesh, and I trailed a line down my body becoming more aroused by the moment.

My pelvic region began to pulsate as I teased myself running my fingers up and down my legs, and I felt myself becoming wetter... Continue»
Posted by The_Real_Kaz_B 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Coast is Clear

We sat on the side of the motorway bridge, on the earthen bank, partially hidden by some low bushes. Below us ran a cycle track, stretching under the bridge and far off into the distance, it forked on our side of the bridge and ran alongside the bank before disappearing into a small clump of trees beside the road.

I munched contentedly on my sandwiches while my friend was crunching down a bag of crisps. We were waiting for two more friends. The four of us usually met here on our lunch break in summer. It was a place where we could get away from the working environment of college, just visi... Continue»
Posted by Oxfordlad 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 20

The Italian Job 20
The night went well with Maria giving her usual performance, she was staring at me as she took the guys in turn as they lined up to fill her with spunk, it was running down her legs in rivers by the time they had finished and got bored with her,
I was surprised because neither Sonia or Yvonne got involved with anyone else and there were plenty of potential suitors but they didn’t seem to want to know, Christina was still a bit sore in her arse but she took some guy in the pool that I think both eased the problem with her arse and took her mind off the problem because she... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical..... 25

Theatrical…….25

The table had been fairly quiet up till then and afterwards the conversation started, most of it was about energy matters and from ear wigging some of the conversation’s I gathered that Gerald had been given a standing ovation for his talk that afternoon, no wonder the company wanted to award him, then I began to panic, what was I supposed to do if he was called to accept this award, should I go with him, should I remain seated, what?,
I couldn’t ask him, it was all meant to be a surprise, “oh fuck, what was the protocol in these circumstances, I looked at Del, I had to st... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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A memorable pussy eating session!

Fingerme on xHampster talks about her squirting and the fun of telling people about it - I loved reading about her squirting. That's special and hot. So she inspired me to tell a true story about my first and only squirting experience with a woman. I was on a business trip to Miami in a new job and a female co-worker named Lois was "training" me. She was hitting on me throughout the trip and I didn't like her and didn’t want to get into complications of mixing sex and work. So did my best to avoid things for the two weeks we were going to be on the road. It was winter and we had the option of ... Continue»
Posted by nvision 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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