Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

Who'd be in your ideal movie? Please read!

I'd love to see a lesbian film featuring Roxanne Pallet from Emmerdale and Helen Flanagan from Coronation Street. To those of you reading this who don't know who they are, just google their names, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Just imagine the 2 of them dressed in school uniforms eating each other out. Fucking amazing!
Now, as stunning as they may be, they are basically "normal" girls. It would be easy to say that you'd love to see Beyonce having her clit licked by Rihanna...(there's a thought!) Come on, boys and girls. I really want to hear who yo... Continue»
Posted by mrharvey 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 310  |  
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The Italian Job 8

The Italian Job 8
The second part of this tale involves the interpreter “I know, I know” I can hear you all saying “Oh not another fucking interpreter” but hear me out and draw your own conclusions after.
Mrs Chikolova was supposed to be our interpreter for the duration of the job but it turned out that she could hardly speak any English although she could read it but no one else could speak any English so no one knew she couldn’t, to look at her you would have thought she was a middle aged spinster but she was indeed married, she was in the habit of wearing dark blue dresses that had small ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 310  |  
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Theatrical.....17

Theatrical…..17

We went into the theatre and into the bar, I saw him almost immediately, he was standing talking to another man, the guy must have been in his late fifties, he nodded but made no move, he had a drink in his hand, Julia saw him and started to move towards him,
I caught her arm, “wait” I said, “why, he’s over there” she said, “I know and he has seen us so when he is ready he will either speak to us here or in the theatre” I said, “but why don’t we just go over and talk to him” she said, “because sweetheart, his wife died about 6 months ago and if that man is a friend of his ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 310  |  
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Mom the Unwilling Slut



It was a shitty day. My attempts at finding a job were as pointless as vacuuming your lawn. I just wanted something that paid enough to get the fuck out of my parents house, and stop dating Rosie palm. As I turned onto my street I was glad to see my parents car wasn't in the driveway. I DVR'd one of my favorite movies last night. It was one of those B movies where the bimbos drop their tops every time they turn around. This one had a fairly decent plot, and I despe... Continue»
Posted by bava12 12 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 310  |  
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Bad-Girl Sex Tricks (For Girls Only)

Bad girls are legendary - a guy who’s been with one practically passes out from bliss when he talks about his experience. You might be thinking, “Who, me? Be a bad girl?” But any woman who wants to can wake up her hibernating vixen...and have a damn good time doing it!

See, bed-devil status is about a fearless attitude, not how much sexual experience you have or whether you wear leather. “Guys dig when women are unbridled and uninhibited, push their own boundaries, break the rules, and ask for what they want,” says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. So ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 309  |  
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christmas joke

3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols... Continue»
Posted by diver1uk2003 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 309  |  
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the truck

it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Posted by wja1291 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 309  |  
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Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second stab at humor in sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same d***ken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"

"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."

"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.

"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.

"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 310  |  
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Be My Girl

I was blue and lonely,
I couldn’t sl**p a wink
And I could only get u*********s
If I’d had to much to drink

There was somehow, something wrong somewhere,
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation
Were growing in my head

I needed inspiration,
A brand new start in life,
Somewhere to place affection,
But I didn’t want a wife

And then by lucky chance I saw
In a special magazine
An ad that was unusual,
The like I’d never seen,

’experience something different
With our new imported toy,
She’s loving, warm, inflatible
And... Continue»
Posted by KarlVonWillebrand 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 307  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians

Part 1 1

AT THE ORGASM RESEARCH FOUNDATION Dr. Roger Prong, who was known by some foundation employees as "a bl**dy Peeping Tom" and a "horny old voyeur" was in fact very scientific, or so he always insisted as he watched the girls having orgasms.

At the laboratory, Josie Welch, already nude but with a single sheet demurely spread over her full and obviously glorious body, looked unhappy as Roger entered.

"They tell me there won't be any men today,"

she said as soon as she saw the doctor.

"That's right, my dear," he said with professional unction. "That part of your testing i... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 308  |  
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mmm

Wow, that was pretty exciting," Sue said when he had disappeared. "I didn't realise what a randy sod you are, Steph. You wouldn't think that you only started frigging around today."

"Maybe, but I've been feeling like it for weeks. You know, I could easily let some bloke have a proper eyeful of my fanny, without any knickers in the way, I mean. They may as well be off, because they're saturated in any case. I'm really juicing up."

"Me too, but I don't know that I could just flash my fanny in cold bl**d as it were. Once we pull some bloke though, no problem."

"Tell you what, let me take... Continue»
Posted by foreignera 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 307  |  
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Memories From the Bush

"You've got to be k**ding!" I shouted out loud.

"Whoever thought to name a town that, must have had a huge hairy pussy fetish!"

"WELCOME TO BIG BEAVER PA." The sign said.

I had almost arrived at my new home in Pleasant Town Pa. population 55,000.*

There was no way I could concentrate on my language learning tapes now, not when I was this close to my destination.

Plus my mind was wandering too much anyway. Seeing that "Big Beaver" sign reminded me of my old college days.

Up near Albany NY there's a town everyone refers to ... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 306  |  
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Holiday heat.

Im in Italia with my honey right now and for 2 weeks there is no distractions of work ect.
All day and night loving possibilities so I will do this little quiz here.

The night before last I sat on the edge of what being ate slowly by him?

A the bed
B the bath
C the pool
D a chair
E all of the above


I last night had something wonderful between my thighs what was it?

A my honeys mouth
B my honeys cock
C my honeys hands/fingers
D a toy held by my honey
E all of the above

The bed here is with a massive headboard how have I held it while he has ate me?

A standingfacing ... Continue»
Posted by bylhamclarabella 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 306  |  
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Valentines together

So Almost a year into your sex-filled relationship and its our first valentines together. its been a week since we last saw each other and i owe Bappy big! wearing a tight shirt, baggy jeans and low cut vest under my shirt i could see his excitement as i walked down the stairs at the train station. walking to union square and we stop for a cuddle and i can feel his member hard in his pants. a few hours pass and we decide to go back to his to celebrate properly. as soon as we get into his room we strip off he's getting hard and its happening fast. i moaning his ear how bad i've been needing his... Continue»
Posted by maaao 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 305  |  
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Who are You and Why?

This is not a story, but hopefully a fun way to determine Who you really are and Why?

Wife who sucks dick or slut that swallows it?
Wife who loves to be eaten or slut who masturbates while being bitten
Wife who wants to be held or slut that likes to be spanked
Wife who complains about the size of her ass or slut that squeals in delight while willingly being taken from behind...

Who are you? Wife, Slut or Slut-Wife... Continue»
Posted by Yes2u4 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 305  |  
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Women 'as likely as men to enjoy casual sex

It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.

A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.

Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.

"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.

The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 304  |  
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And Then He...

I know a lot of you will think 'What the f**k is this????' but I am sure some will see it for what it is. What is it? Well it is a poetic story for which you can add your own ending. And as it is only about a moment, you can add history if you wish. Essentially it is a little bit of fun, and that is an aspect of this site yeah??? Fun??? So I hope you (those few) enjoy :)


And Then He..


She came from afar, well Manchester,
And she came looking for him.
Stood at the station, he waited for her,
Imagining the pleasure she would bring.
And as their eyes met, so it began,
T... Continue»
Posted by genuineguy 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 305  |  
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Dirty Dawg: Confessions of an Irredeemable BASTERD



Chapter 1: The Indian Intern


I had been working this shit job at a downtown law firm for quite some time had been considering quitting due to a wealth of “Busy Work” and my asshole of a supervisor Mr. Kumar. He was this Indian fuck who had started out six months ago in a satellite firm overseas and transferred into a management position. He was a big fan of cramming as much shit into an eight hour work period as humanly possible. He would watch ... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 1 year ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 305  |  
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Facebook Dating Tips To Attract Girls

Tip #1 - Fix your Profile

Look at your FB Profile. What does it say about you? A girl that doesn't know you yet - what kind of image will she create about you when she checks your Profile? Think about it. Manipulate your profile to create a more attractive image about yourself. A guy that travels, has a lot of friends and has a strong identity is much more attractive than a guy getting wasted with "the boys" and behaving like a douche. Think about what your profile TELLS about you, then work on it.

Tip #2 - Don't be an Open Book

"Open books" are guys that are, well, open books. A girl... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 303  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah the exhibitionish, Story 5

My ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend is now really pi**ed off by this blog about her. Well, let me see if I can annoy him even more, by telling all you guys about how she flaunted her naked body to two guys.

I used to be a keen amateur photographer and for my birthday, Sarah agreed to model for me at a photographic studio in the city of Bath, in the UK.

She said ‘Let’s take a bottle of wine with us. I loose my inhibitions a lot more after a drink or two’. Oh boy, did she! We arrived at the studio and were greeted by the two guys who ran it, one old, one in his 20’s. They had set the photographic... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 307  |  
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