Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

Company With Men!

Diane, a former prostitute wants to escape away from her abusing
pimps and other men. She wants to change her life around to become a
better person. Diane wants to go back to school, and get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has a curvy shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Diane’s
hip is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day Diane have an interview for a job, Diane wore a short mini
skirt (you co... Continue»
Posted by Darkpussy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 325  |  
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A Sexy Romp Through Space-Time

I basically wrote this story just to see if I could pull it off. It is an unedited once over piece but it has gotten good feedback so I decided to post it and see what other people think.

OF WIZARDS AND STARSHIPS

A SEXY ROMP THROUGH SPACE-TIME


A cold and bitter wind blew through the darkened English countryside, carrying the promise of snowfall before morning. Across the land, Muggles and Wizards alike wisely chose to avoid the winter weather and instead found things to do indoors where it was safe and warm.
Despite being wrapped in numerous layers of defensive magical spells, ... Continue»
Posted by wraithe_13 2 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 325  |  
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“wondering what he would do…”

“wondering what he would do…”

This post, inspired by a communication from a specific xhamster woman, is purely my fantasy, based upon a remarkably small number of private messages where she shared what she liked about my writing.

Chapter 1: Shake something at them...
SHE (starting from her perspective):
I can’t believe that I’m actually flying to Atlanta to check out this kinky “Emorymed” guy from xhamster (Wonder what his real name is?). What started as a passing curiosity, evolved to email exchanges, 'make me blush' photos, skype and now, finally, “in the flesh”. Although w... Continue»
Posted by emorymed 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 324  |  
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my new life...part 5

james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 324  |  
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Lunch Break

part 2 continuation of "Wake Up!"

After this morning's "wake up" I couldn't focus on work all morning
my thoughts are of nothing but you
your flawless creamy white skin, ample breasts and firm round ass
the scent of your perfume
your light brown hair that frames your angelic face
the pout of your full luscious lips
and your eyes, I lose myself in their dreamy caramel luster
I arrive at our meeting spot, the drinking fountain by the supply closet
you're not there, you're late
we only have 30 minutes for lunch
you said that you had a surprise for me
what could it be...
a new rest... Continue»
Posted by CMStivy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 322  |  
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Oooh lala LOVERS voyager

u come out from a shower with jst a towel on u... saying in a naughty way that u jst shave it ;) me... without a word i take my shirt and my short... be naked in bed... u laught and throw that towel... then jump nxt to me ♥ I leaned over ur face and gently kissed ur sweet fresh cheeks... then lightly i put my lips on urs which was so hot and sweet... after many crazy kisses and some frenshy which was realy enough to make my dick go up... oh... i moved my lips down to ur neck... many little gentle kisses... then to ur boobes placing ur whole nipple in my mouth and suck it ;) but the tongue play... Continue»
Posted by LadyWild 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 322  |  
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Who's the boss?

“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 323  |  
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Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second stab at humor in sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same d***ken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"

"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."

"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.

"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.

"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 321  |  
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The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it co... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 320  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P1)

Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.

Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 320  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 2)

Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.

As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 319  |  
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Genie Chronicles

THIS STORY IS NOT WRITTEN BY ME.THIS IS THE WORK OF JOE BROLLY.


Synopsis: Jack Phillips has no idea that in the small puzzle box he has inherited from his Aunt is a treasure beyond price; a Genie servant, ready to grant his every sexual wish. Join Jack as he solves the box's puzzle and embarks on a life heretofore only imagined, pushing the boundaries of a Sex Genie's powers.


Jack Phillips sat on the couch, flipped on the TV and surfed the channels. Finding nothing much on, he settled on a "Seinfeld" rerun, then out of habit reached for the puzzle box. He had pretty much given up on... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 25 days ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 319  |  
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FUCKED-OVER AGAIN

Have you ever been with someone with such an addiction that they would lie, cheat and be prepared to lose it all? Well as it is said..what have I got myself into Ollie lol......this can't even call it a man is addicted to men, little girls, girls, old bags, anything that is connected to porn lmaooooo and not that I am drop dead beautiful but close lol.....ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE???? that would be a question to ponder.......why a person's hand should be sore and he has or had a person....wow what a loss huh.......Anyone got an idea????... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 318  |  
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Sexy wife and I continued

Hello My suzie and I have been together going on thirty years it has been a great ride . I have written about our adventures in the laundry and in the yard on the deck our dining room of our new house and our date to the erotic drive in on our third date,
She was a hottie then and still my hottie we love it when we do have time and the wanting to have sex some awesome hot wet sex!
We use to have swimming pools some only a foot and half deep a k**dy pool we use to lie in it on a warm summer evening after the k**s got out it was funny we were out in the wood we did not have any one close en... Continue»
Posted by fulltimeflirt 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 318  |  
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Waxing with Marguerite

I sent Marguerite an SMS to say we were on our way, and that these boys were big if she could kindly waive the supplement for extra large cocks. She replied, “Don't worry lol”.

Adrian was wearing his jeans and no underwear. It looked as if he had some hosepipe down them. George was also wearing jeans but was wearing a thong underneath into which he had packed his magnificent equipment, so there was a very visible bulge. In fact, it seemed he was carrying his lunch down there.

When we arrived at the salon, Marguerite and the owner, Anne, were waiting in reception. Marguerite was look... Continue»
Posted by suaveliso 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 318  |  
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One of those days

(Written at the special request of Beth)

It was late afternoon as Beth stepped from her office into the cool evening air. Autumn was closing in, evidenced by the goose bumps rising on her bare arms and the involuntary shiver riding up her back.

“Night Beth,” her colleague, Barry called, also on his way out. “Brrrrr, you'll need to wrap up warm tonight!”

That's what he thought. Jonny, Beth's newly found beau, had preoccupied her thoughts all day. The vision of his taught naked body, powerful arms and that unbelievable penis was all the warmth she needed tonight. That was the plan anyw... Continue»
Posted by Bulletin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 317  |  
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Tight Huh?

A man picks up a hooker and tells her that he wants to see a sample of what he might get before he spends his hard earned money. The slut, feeling very confident spreads her legs and says, "Put your hand all the way in," which the man does.

Impressed, the man is ready to plunk down the cash when she says, "Put your other hand all the way in too." Once both his hands are all the way in she says, "Now spread your hands apart." As the man attempts to spread his hands apart she says proudly, "Tight Huh?"... Continue»
Posted by berndog24 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 316  |  
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what I am I doing?

I took my fingers and slowly, gently stretched it apart.
It was so pure and white.

I licked it once, twice... I found I couldn't stop. I
licked it faster and faster, and harder. I began to
sc**** my teeth against it.

There it was, in my mouth! All sweet and creamy. I was done.

I threw away the outsides of my Oreo Cookie


... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 316  |  
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Little Johnny

Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma. He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.
Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."
Little Johnn...y thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"
... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 317  |  
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Wet Hard Kiss

Oh bl**dy hell she thought as the bus pulled away...I hate living in the fucking country! Now I’ve got half an hour to wait until the next one and......Fuck it! It’s starting to rain....

She’d been out with her mates and though she’d enjoyed it, it was sitting in a freezing,wet bus shelter that made her wonder if she’d not have been better staying in tonight.....Ah well.

It happened so quickly that she barely had time to panic.A young man with hood over head came galloping through the rain and almost knocked her down as he crashed into the shelter.

He threw back his hood and shook dr... Continue»
Posted by fmac 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 316  |  
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