Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 102

A Week to Remember Ch. 02

(Nightclub, temptress, missed chance, mutual happiness)

Monday

I didn't have to get up for work the next day. I'd secured a good job through my industrial placement last year, and would start working in Leeds City centre the following Monday. I had the rest of the week to myself and was glad about it; it gave me time to get my head together and to chill out and relax. I had a lie in and it was 10.30 by the time I got up. I stumbled into the bathroom on my floor and showered, the hot water waking me up and making me feel better. This would be the first day of the next chapter in my life, ... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 178

Oral Fixation: Combining Two Things I Love

Recently I saw a couple of photos posted on xhamster of a chick with a banana shoved half-way up her twat. Got we very hot and I saved them to my favorites if you're curious to see them.

That image took me back several years. I had this girlfriend who let me fuck her with a banana on the kitchen table. Naturally, I fucked her with my dick in just about every room of that house, but having her buck-naked, spread-eagle on the dining table with a banana in her (fucked her with a carrot a few times too) was quite a hot thing to see. Especially the time my room-mate who was supposed to be ... Continue»
Posted by hangingout1984 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 177  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians part 4; Why is a duck?


Half a mile away, a thin needle pointing toward the sky, stood the office of Pussycat magazine, and on the tenth floor Senior Editor Josh Dill was puzzling over the latest vacation memo from personnel. "This is the worst piece of idiocy I've ever seen, " he complained to his secretary. "It looks like it was written by a computer having a nervous breakdown. Listen to this gibberish:

'Half a man-day shall not be equal to half a day unless the man is actually in the office for the full day, or half of a full day, as the case may be. (This also applies to female employees. '

What t... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 177  |  
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Chapter 2

I am getting SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of seeing all your tallywackers! I KNOW girls don't want to see them, either. I've read enough of them TELLING you so! What would your mother think?!? Guys, can't you come up with something different for a profile picture? Try something a little more original! A picture of an elephant's trunk, if you just HAVE to show something long and hard. --Or how about a pic of a naked stripper wrapped around a stripper pole with her tongue touching the pole... Now THAT would be sexy! But your pitiful peepee? Come on! Give us a break! I'd venture to say that just ... Continue»
Posted by Volfy 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 177  |  
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How to pull off the sexy red pout


1) Choose the perfect shade of red to suit your skin tone or you'll come off looking cheap and desperate. Remember brighter shades for lighter skin and deeper shades for dusky skin.

2) Always use a lip liner. They make your lips look fuller and well-defined. Naturally, you'll grab his attention.

3) Tease him a little by adding a touch of gloss to the centre of your lower lip for that extra drama.

4) Avoid heavy eye make-up and blush. You want him to focus on the most sensual part of your body – your lips!

5) Finally, practise! Pucker up and pout in front the mirror.... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 176

Bad girl Jade more shed fun with the chav lads

I have had to stay indoors due to my s****r’s bad behaviour(and my lack of supervision of her). Im 24(25 next week oh I feel old lol) but as I have said before am treated like a k** but still free rent so I can’t moan too much.

Anyway this meant I was not able to get my usual chav lad fix. However I was determined to get fucked off their bad cocks. They knew where I lived and knew it would be a matter of time before they came around to give me a good seeing to.

I was in my bedroom getting dressed for bed when I heard a knock on my window. I knew it was them and was really excited as I ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 184  |  
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Chavs use ball gag and cuff me.

I decided to see Jake again for another sex session. I wore my sexy number from last time as he really liked it. I wore purple lipgloss this time instead of red and no knickers

I met Jake at his house as it was empty. He opened the door and dragged me in. He got hold of me and dragged me up the stairs. However halfway up we just started snogged hard and fast. We could not resist and we went at it on the stairs. I was sat on the stairs halfway up and him on top of me. He snogged me and his hand went up my skirt to my wet bare pussy. He put his finger in my slit and fingered it hard and fast... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 175  |  
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How you can perk up your sex life

Want to perk up your love life? Well, then start from the kitchen with food that will give you the oomph factor, says an expert.

Hormone and anti-ageing specialist Cecilia Tregear says that sex plays an important role in making people look and feel younger.

Tregear, who is based at the Wimpole Skin Clinic in Harley Street, London, has worked with hundreds of couples over the course of her 25-year career.

"The couples who were having lots of regular sex almost always looked younger than those who weren't. They were also slimmer, fitter, healthier and happier. Sexual activity, in my vie... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 173  |  
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Theatrical...12

Theatrical……12
I went downstairs having left a suitable length of time after he left the room, I felt a lot happier and was able to face the world, he was sitting back at the table and Mary was sitting beside him,
I thought about his comment about my being his pimp, I smiled to myself, “why not?” I thought, he was chatting with Mary, the speeches and the meal finally officially over, the tables were changed to the evening session and for the dancing and boozing, now we would see who was what in this melee of bodies,
I kept my eye on him noting who spoke to him and where they went, not tha... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 173  |  
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Pretty woman I was not!!!

Hello you!

Can I just start by saying how ridiculously long it been since I last updated my blog… shocking! I think this has been due, in part, to the fact that I have had a great deal of difficulty coming up with a certain someone’s nickname. There are times when the nickname comes to me literally ‘during the meet’ (though when this happens I have to fight the urge to giggle as apparently its rude to laugh during sex… who knew?!? I must have missed that etiquette memo). Then there are times when I go completely blank, which ends in me feeling uninspired to write the bl**dy thing at all. ... Continue»
Posted by unassumingmistress 4 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 172  |  
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VEET.....DONT DO IT........

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the oth... Continue»
Posted by knocka 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 170  |  
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bl**dy bourgoisie

When I joined this Wonderful World of Porn I was sruck by the quantity of rules and regulations, supposed etiquette and general reserve insisted upon by the organisers.....obviously they have their reasons, and I won't argue with them on that. This is their site and I must obey.

It's all terribly bourgoisie however.

BUT, - as a free man born in a free country I do insist upon having my say about it, to wit : It's a lot of old crap.

Firstly, - because all rules inhibit. Inhibition and porn simply do NOT, cannot go together. Indeed, having plowed through thousands... Continue»
Posted by dandrew1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 169  |  
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Phone sex

Phone sex is probably one of the more common 'alternative' types of sexual encounter. Both men and women of many different ages have tried it, but many of us get their first taste of it at a young age, often when at a distance from a partner, keeping in touch by phone.

Phone sex is a fairly ‘safe’ style of alternative sexual contact, as there is no physical risk at all, except for what you do to yourself. Phone sex basically amounts to Masturbation while talking to someone on the phone. Of course there is a small risk of having your feelings hurt if someone embarrasses you, but this only u... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 170  |  
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Theatrical ....8

Theatrical…….8
Anna was building rapidly as she whimpered with the onslaught of cock inside her, I moved along the side of her and felt under her, taking the weight of her swinging breast in my hand and squeezing it,
I had never groped a woman’s tits before but today, so many rules were being broken, so many taboos were being displaced, the waiter grunted and folded over Anna, she moaned as she felt the hot surge of spunk being squirted up her arse, she collapsed on my friend, he looked down at her and stroked her hair, she laid on his chest, her huge tits flattened against him, he looked a... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 169  |  
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Go Get Some (A Poem)

Just another poem...you don't have to take it to heart, though not a bad idea...

Go Get Some.

So, you’re looking for another rhyme,
Don’t know if I can do it this time,
I tried to think of something hot,
Something with a lusty plot,
Something you can read and wank,
But my mind simply came up blank,
So instead of reading some dirty poem,
While you’re sitting back at home,
Take a trip into the city,
Where you may find some real kitty,
Cause sex isn’t just to read about,
It’s something I can’t do without,
Cash your check when you get paid,
Go outside and actually ... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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F-a-c-k

"Fack"


Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I'm gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack faaaack
Fuck I am
I am,
I'm going to cum
I'm cumming

I never seen no shit like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick
Of course it is
This bitch don't know what abortion is
So I can't cum in her
Fucks like a porn star
Looks like jenna
Fuck I'm gonna
Cum
I think my rubbers coming off
But oh it's so fuckin wet and soft
Fuck I'm gonna start letting off
I'm squirting and she's not getting off
And she's on top
I'm gonna fucking, oh ... Continue»
Posted by braindamage123 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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Rental contract

My new FWB and I are looking for a place to play. found an ad on CL and this is the response she sent, Hope you enjoy. I'm not sure what to laugh or rub one out:)
Please tell me what yall think!

My lover and I are interested in your room, however before we enter into an agreement, I have a few codicils based on our needs.
1. We only need the room for approximately 10 hours a week, we’re both married, so play time is limited and quite frankly can only handle a few hours of pussy licking, clit biting, cock sucking, ass tonguing, tits flying, ball pounding sex. I get dehydrated from multiple... Continue»
Posted by fun4yallnow 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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Mom and I together, Forever




I grew up in tirupati, my name is Ajay. Girls/Women of any age could get in touch with me on bavahemachandar@gmail.com


My father was a mild mannered man who worked in a mill. He had one addiction, he drank heavily and many a night he would pass out and had to be helped to bed. He was good to my mother and I could see that she respected and loved him. But I sensed there was also sadness in her and at that time I could not understand why.


I helped mother
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 4 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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Sexual Participation

Image of perfection
Object of an affection in sexing
Fantasizing freaky positions of you in submission
Pushing pulling twisting and moaning
A Place where I could store my erection
Splendid features
Tongue kissing fucking
Look up cause I got mirrors on the ceiling
Reflecting your ass bouncing silly
Soon as you come in right away
If you’re willing
Splay your legs open
Game played by 2
My sexual motivation
Got you yelling spots for me to do?
Amazed by the way you grind
Just for fun
I bet ill make you cum 61 times
First before insertion let me heat it up
Beat it up when ... Continue»
Posted by Emeze 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 166  |  
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xhamster community news

It was quite a surprise when we realised that
Tina was actually ChristineAnger. The photo that
gave it away was one on a BDSM series that she
uploaded a few weeks ago. Her face was hidden
behind her long auburn hair and a blindfold and
ball gag. Her Arms stretched wide and high in
a restraining frame. And her body covered in
deep weals from a vicious whipping she had just
received. But the tattoo was unmistakable, The
letter O with a naked bound girl circled by a whip.
I called Sue over and she was a bit shocked, "Oh, Tina
is a naughty girl" This led us to look more clos... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 166  |  
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