Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 101
Chandler walked into Rachel and Monica's apartment one morning, with a look of obvious frustration on his face. Monica was sitting at the kitchen table eating toast and orange juice.
"Hey there, lover boy. How are things going with Kathy?" she teased.
The week before, the roommates had given Chandler some "tips" on pleasing Kathy, with Monica coaching as Chandler practiced on Rachel.
"Oh fine," he said disgusted. "Is Rachel here?"
"No, she's already at work at Bloomingdales. What's up?"
"Well, it's just that... okay... Kathy's been... agreeing with me... A LOT during sex... you ... Continue»
I was dusting and happened to come across this story my fiancé wrote. It was in a bondage book of mine. Some of what you about to read is true and actually happened. I wasn't aware of all that happened though-at the salon and at the mall. Just read for yourself.
A Night Out...Of Pleasure
Our day started by going to the salon. We are greeted by one of the stylists. She asks you what we are there for. I speak up: “Manicure and pedicure, shampoo and possible low lights...for her.” She smiles and looks at you: “Okay, follow me.” You two walk away and she places a vinyl wrap around you ... Continue»
This just happened two nights ago (I have used fake names of course though) :) .
Alex had been single for nine months and decided to join a dating website. After two weeks of a few boring dates in the city, he was requested an add by a Serbian girl named Mili one night that lived about fourty minutes away from him. He accepted her, and they chatted for awhile until the conversation went along to:
Mili says: So you do a lot of life drawing?
Alex says: Yes, I love it, it is my passion in life.
Mili says: I have never tried it, but I wouldn't mind...
Alex says: What, really? It... Continue»
I don't have any friends, keeps me out of trouble. I think its my lips that make me smile but i could be wrong. I'm proud I don't have a job, gives me time to help out some poor k**s that don't have a father. k**s are the ones who will be here when we are dead and we need them to be smart and do the right thing. I love helping people and being kind to anyone in need, I spend most of my time working for people for free, cause I have more money then I could spend in three life times. my dad died and left me alot of money but that's a story for some other time.
I have two cars and one truck ... Continue»
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift.
I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Justimagine...two turtle doves!!
I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
My Dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one!
Now I actually must protest.
I don't deserve ... Continue»
"I'm coming!" you shout.
You know perfectly well you'll probably just end up getting caught but there's no way you're leaving Melissa behind. Once you get to her, you help her up and then, supporting her with your shoulder, get ready to start running again when suddenly Doe, alone, comes crashing through the forest at the top of the rise.
"Now I've got y-OH SHIT!"
She stumbles off the top and lands hard on the ground, clutching her ankle. Ironically she seems to have befallen the same injury as Melissa.
"God dammit, that hurt," she curses, unable to stand up. Then she looks up ... Continue»
Bill's Adventures - April01 by Bun2bch
This work should only be read if it is legal for you to do so. This is a work of fiction, please do not read it if you may be offended. Comments are welcome at the above email address. Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
This story is set in the UK where driving is legal at 17 and sex is legal at 16.
I sat at the kitchen table with an envelope in my hands, on the back was printed DVLA, Swansea, SA9... Continue»
The Audition Part 2 "Ready Jane"
"Pull down your panties and set them beside you on the floor." Bella ordered
She then had me stand by the biggest of the two beds where she unbuttoned the top part of my dress. Bella fixed it so you could see my bra but not enough
so you could tell my breasts were fake. Next she hoisted up the bottom of the dress so my penis was visable. With all this touching going on from such a pretty lady it was already getting longer and harder by the millisecond.
Being on xHamster for 408 days doesn’t make me a porn king or Ron Jeremy but i’m on here long enough to know that this is one to remember.
I recently realized that if i log on every day i would end up with alot of favourite video’s and photo’s. At this moment its one sexual energy explosion in my head and i can’t stop clicking on “add to favourite video’s” or “add to favourite whatever” for that matter.
Many people would categorize me as just one of the million horny “pull out my dick” kind of guy but i would beg to... Continue»
Host: "Good evening. If you're just joining us, we're talking tonight with Loretta Modern, star of the new... (clears throat
)... adult film 'Lady Lust
Loretta: "Good evening."
Host: "So, tell us, Loretta, do you really enjoy your work, or are you just fake fucking for the camera?"
Loretta: "I can assure you, Tom, there's nothing fake about it. And, yes, I really do like it. I've done other types of work in my life and this is the most... fun I've ever had working (laughs
Host: "Caller, you have a question for Loretta?"
Caller: "Hello, Loretta. I'm Jim"
hey guys n girls if you like these feel free to come back every week for a new 1 :) if theres a typo im sorry,
she was stood there in the morning awaiting to go to school, she was wearing her uniform, her hair in a ponytail, gorgeous face, her shirt so small and tight, cleavage hanging out from the top, she wears the shortest skirts, and stockings, she leans over the kitchen table to reach her school bag, the glow of her amazing ass so round and plump, she was wearing tight white nickers and they made her ass look so smooth it was perfect.
She left the house, she a... Continue»
Julia ran into the toilet, her tits bobbing as she went, he got off the bed and followed her, I heard the shower start, “that’s it my darling” I thought, “get it all nice and sparkling for me” he came out drying himself but the shower was still going and I sensed that Julia had first of all used the bidet and then had gone into the shower, his cock wagged as he dried himself,
I smiled to myself, this was the aftermath of a nice fuck, he was dressed by the time she came out and he fastened her bra for her as she stood in front of him, then to my disappointment, he turned an... Continue»
Just for fun, an interesting analysis of data from the Internet Adult Film Data Base of some 7000 females and 3000 males.
Data is US-centric and percentage discussions are of women unless otherwise noted.
Weight is the biggest distinction between porn stars and the general population.
Porn stars are quite a bit lighter. At 117 lbs, the average female performer is a considerable 48 lbs under the national average for women, and the average male, at 167.5 lbs, weighs 27 lbs less than the national average for men.
The average male and female performer are the same height as the average... Continue»
IT WAS NOT THAT LONG AGO,
That i got around to setting this thing up, in the first place, After meeting two very nice polite large Women here i wantedto add my personal touch to things and as most people know me as SIR or MASTER would expect me to revert to type and would DOMINATE THEM yes no you descide how this pans out. so what to do diffrently yes i like these two women and from our chats they seem to like me, but its not enough (Typical MALE) i want something more something Special, something unique for WiCKED ME TO ENJOY. what shall it be, how about seeing them, hop on a plain from the ... Continue»
Hello boys and girls and special hello to my beautiful and hot bhabhis and aunties .Thank you for giving your time for my story .This is your friend Priyesh Preetam from the living city Patna , Bihar. Mail me if you like this story at firstname.lastname@example.org .I am doing my 10+2 at a collage in patna. I have very normal physique and looks, but I am good at my studies and am a man at peace so I got a good reputation in school and college.
As you all know I am living and study in patna but my native place is somewhere in bettiah. This story is about when I was studying in 9th in my native ci... Continue»
26 December 2008
Darling, just a quick thank you note for my lovely Christmas present. A partridge in a pear tree, how unusual! You are SO thoughtful. I love you to bits
27 December 2008
Darling, thank you thank you thank you! Two turtle doves, how very sweet of you! You are such a romantic! Lots of love!!
28 December 2008
Thank you for the three French hens, darling, I suppose I can use the eggs. Bye for now.
30 December 2008
Hello sweetheart, I'm sorry about not writing yesterday but to be honest I was a bit worried about all these presents you were buying and I'm still ... Continue»
This is a pure creative Imaginery story... Unfortunetly it dosnt fit in to the catergys except maby first time???
It all started one stormy evening, lightning howling mingled with thunder crashing like a cocanophy from hell. Walking in the driving rain Jane wonderd why the hell she decided to walk to the cinema instead of catching the bus that descision led to 1 of the best experinces of her young life.
At 25 she had just risen to the top in the emotionly and hormonuly charged atmosphere of Stock Trading, of course being blond didnt help matters much but what did was two fold. One the cu... Continue»
According to some studies, 3 out of 10 men are can attest that they really understand women.
The remaining 7, you ask? They are out in the haystack finding needles. This means that almost 70% of the men population in the U.S. contends that whatever they do, they still could not figure out how to understand women.
For this reason, men are having a hard time to figure out what attract women sexually and romantically in a relationship. 6 out of ten men attest that women are so unpredictable that what they thought women are attracted to, they suddenly realize in the end that it is not the ri... Continue»
This is an incident
happened between me
and my cousin vidya
balan. Am sure that the
name rang a bell in all ur
minds. Yes, am one
lucky guy to have her as
my cousin. This incident
happened after she
became an actress. I
used to visit her at
times and mostly after
her becoming an
actress. Though I found
her attractive before
too it was after her
film stint that I started
seeing her as sexy. I
dont remember how
many times I have seen
the love making scene
in parineeta. She
started ruling my
dreams after that.
I used to visit her
whenever I got a
chance. I even used to