Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 101
Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma. He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.
Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."
Little Johnn...y thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"
Cum drops on noses and stories well written
Sensual kisses will have me quite smitten
Hard bulging packages, fun with no strings
These are a few of my favourite things
Creamy filled pussies and tongues in my anus
Light hearted spanking as long as it's painless
Fun with my toy and the joy that it brings
These are a few of my favourite things
Girls in tight dresses with sexy eye lashes
But NO fakes or skinny rakes or vulgar pumped gashes
Beds with 4 posters and reinf***ed springs
These are a few of my favourite things
Concealed love bites......
When I'm f... Continue»
Oh bl**dy hell she thought as the bus pulled away...I hate living in the fucking country! Now I’ve got half an hour to wait until the next one and......Fuck it! It’s starting to rain....
She’d been out with her mates and though she’d enjoyed it, it was sitting in a freezing,wet bus shelter that made her wonder if she’d not have been better staying in tonight.....Ah well.
It happened so quickly that she barely had time to panic.A young man with hood over head came galloping through the rain and almost knocked her down as he crashed into the shelter.
He threw back his hood and shook dr... Continue»
One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro-Farad decided to find a cute little coil to saturate. He picked up Milli-Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode over Wheatstone bridge, around the sine waves, and stopped by a flowing current.
They walked over to Magnetic field and sat down. Micro-Farad, attracted by Milli-amp’s characteristic curves, soon had her resistance at a minimum, and her field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowering her resistance still more, and then hr pulled out his hi-voltage probe. He inserted it in... Continue»
Cindy moaned softly as Dane slipped two fingers inside of her. She felt the familiar ripples of orgasm overwhelm her senses, body tightening around his digits, juices dripping onto his hand. She stood there, rigid as his fingers worked their magic, rubbing and caressing her secret places.
She looked down at him sitting in front of her, arm muscles tensed, and saw the predatory gleam in his eyes, he wanted her... NOW... She whimpered at this, remembering the other times he had made her cum until it felt like her head would explode. He seemed to be holding back now, teasing her, his fingers ... Continue»
According to the research, adults who make love first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system.
The study suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door.
Not only does it make them less likely to catch a cold or flu, it can also improve the quality of their hair, skin, and nails.
"Having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving... Continue»
The night before we had been watching the film The Pianist i
lluminated on her bedroom wall. I had been making appropriate and thoughtful comments throughout until they had thrown the disabled man, wheelchair and all, off a third floor balcony. “They’re only showing the bad bits,” I said. “Oh they should show all the good bits should they?” she asks in a sharp revoke. I say nothing more for a while.
Then the Russians came. The last Germans units were killed or fled the ruined city as it was liberated, and the pianist had lived through it all to play the tale. We had sex later. Emot... Continue»
The Italian job 2
The installation progressed and although we did not have sex again that week, the lunch was still as good and as big, Roseanna stood smiling at me whilst I ate and would give me a small kiss as I left the kitchen, the following week Roseanna was on holiday so I was invited to go for lunch with Maria and Yvonne her mother, I was thankful that it was only a plate of spaghetti, it was about mid-week and Maria’s mother was not in the factory, Maria seemed a bit distressed and I thought that we would not be going for lunch when she approached me and said can you drive me home as ... Continue»
(Fishing couple discovers camp mates)
My wife, Virginia, and I had been driving continuously for over eighteen hours in a mad dash to get to our favorite Atlantic Salmon river for the season's opening day. The biggest obstacle that remained in our way was Kurley's Mountain! Commencing at near sea level, Kurley's Mountain Highway climbed the sea side of the mountain to over fifteen hundred feet above sea level. Climbing a distance of slightly less than four kilometers, with the last kilometer having the highest grade incline, the engine of our fully loaded four wheel drive howled in protest ... Continue»
I haven't been able to sl**p lately. I started a new shift at work, and it seems like the world is always asl**p, while I'm awake at crazy hours,
working hard to afford the life I want us to live. I never wanted her to feel like I didn't care about her needs, because I do. I guess I just have trouble
exspressing how I feel sometimes. But i do it all for her. I do it all for us. She says I don't try hard enough to make time for her. She says that I
concern myself too much with money, and the things I think we "need". But I'm just trying to provide. I heard her talking in her sl**p ... Continue»
It started just like every other day, nice and warm, sun was shinning, wind softly blowing threw the windows, another beautiful day was starting. I had already packed the lunch we were going to have, and tea's were packed as well, you hear me humming in the kitchen, and you sneak up behind me and wrap your arms around me, and kiss my neck, i spin around and smile and softly slap you and tell you that you scared the hell out of me, but i love you anyway, you look around and see everything is packed up, you smile and ask if i packed the bread as well, i open the basket, and there it was right n... Continue»
Bad girls are legendary - a guy who’s been with one practically passes out from bliss when he talks about his experience. You might be thinking, “Who, me? Be a bad girl?” But any woman who wants to can wake up her hibernating vixen...and have a damn good time doing it!
See, bed-devil status is about a fearless attitude, not how much sexual experience you have or whether you wear leather. “Guys dig when women are unbridled and uninhibited, push their own boundaries, break the rules, and ask for what they want,” says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. So ... Continue»
The Italian Job 8
The second part of this tale involves the interpreter “I know, I know” I can hear you all saying “Oh not another fucking interpreter” but hear me out and draw your own conclusions after.
Mrs Chikolova was supposed to be our interpreter for the duration of the job but it turned out that she could hardly speak any English although she could read it but no one else could speak any English so no one knew she couldn’t, to look at her you would have thought she was a middle aged spinster but she was indeed married, she was in the habit of wearing dark blue dresses that had small ... Continue»
3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols... Continue»
it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
We went into the theatre and into the bar, I saw him almost immediately, he was standing talking to another man, the guy must have been in his late fifties, he nodded but made no move, he had a drink in his hand, Julia saw him and started to move towards him,
I caught her arm, “wait” I said, “why, he’s over there” she said, “I know and he has seen us so when he is ready he will either speak to us here or in the theatre” I said, “but why don’t we just go over and talk to him” she said, “because sweetheart, his wife died about 6 months ago and if that man is a friend of his ... Continue»
I'd love to see a lesbian film featuring Roxanne Pallet from Emmerdale and Helen Flanagan from Coronation Street. To those of you reading this who don't know who they are, just google their names, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Just imagine the 2 of them dressed in school uniforms eating each other out. Fucking amazing!
Now, as stunning as they may be, they are basically "normal" girls. It would be easy to say that you'd love to see Beyonce having her clit licked by Rihanna...(there's a thought!) Come on, boys and girls. I really want to hear who yo... Continue»
If I had one of those I’d play with it all the time. I’d tease it and I’d pamper it. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for it. I’d use it every way I could think of. It’d be VERY MUCH worth it…
I’d show it off. “Hey, look what I’ve got!” I’d use it to tease all the boys. I’d wear really short skirts and the highest high heels, and I’d swing my hips just so, as only a real woman can. I’d spend a lot of time sitting in places where the boys walked by. I might even whistle at them! I’d be such a slut! When a really cute guy walked by I’d smile at him and open my legs to let him see ... Continue»
Morning 7:00 am college lectures till 1:30, then lunch and back to hostel; in evening some light refreshment and sports time. This was used to be my daily routine when I was in one of the reputed boarding college of Chhattisgarh. Let me introduce to my lovely lady Anita madam who was our biology teacher. She too has a average height of 5 feet, skin complexion black with a voluptuous figure of 32-30-34. She always used to wear sari and she had long hairs and used to keep one strand of hair in front of her face which always would
Mona Lindley, 29, single, international sales manager, travels a lot. She doesn't like men too much, despises kissing, is disgusted by touching dicks and hates warm sperm trickling down her thighs. But she uses men for her sexual satisfaction, and should there be none around her at the moment, she endulges always in her own erotic fantasies!
The golden sun sinks tired into the soft bed of clouds and the veil of the night draws over it to keep him warm. The contant vibration and the numbing hum of the heavy jet engines are lulling my senses. I made a bit of small talk with the guy next to ... Continue»