Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

Great car Mate! - A tale of Tea, Biscuits and som


I’ve told you about my fuck buddy and our first adventure with another guy, here is a tale of a very unusual dogging experience up at Wisley.
We arrived quite late one night and parked up in the cafe car park, both of us climbed into the back and started to kiss and cuddle as you do, I’m quiet keen to start removing her clothes as well as mine!
I’m down to my underpants and she is now just in her basque and stockings I’ve loosen her shoulder straps and sucking on her firm tits and tonguing her hard nipples, she has such wonderful tits and I can’t leave them alone, I take a peek outside an... Continue»
Posted by flashgit 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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festival fun

i was at a festival with four friends this summer and me and one girl sarah decided we'd share a tent.sarah is a sexy brunette with a face you would love to cum all over ass you'd love to lick and pussy to pound...

one night i went back to the tent early as i had thought of a brilliant idea.alone in the tent i went looking through her bag and found a lovely pair of white panties.the smell of them was making my cock throb in my jeans i had to start wanking it off furiously.while wanking i managed to find her tooth brush this excited me even more.i placed the toothbrush in my mouth panties ov... Continue»
Posted by emmawatsoncummer 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Awkward Sexy Time Pt. 2

After I had broken up with my girlfriend, I was left to wander the world of women. I had met a cute woman who was in my work group at school. We immediately started getting along. We had a similar sense of humor and similar relationship pasts. Both of which allowed us to make a powerful connection. Soon enough we were hanging out outside of class; I took her fishing, she helped me pick out my dog. We were inseparable.
We did hit one snag though: neither of us wanted a new relationship. We were both in our "cool down" mode after our break ups and decided to just fuck each other as much as we ... Continue»
Posted by wrkUSA 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Company With Men!

Diane, a former prostitute wants to escape away from her abusing
pimps and other men. She wants to change her life around to become a
better person. Diane wants to go back to school, and get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has a curvy shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Diane’s
hip is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day Diane have an interview for a job, Diane wore a short mini
skirt (you co... Continue»
Posted by Darkpussy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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420 Reasons to Fuck

My new friend, Jeff, finished packing his large rainbow colored bong with a fresh load of sticky, resiny weed. My head buzzing from the bong hits we'd already taken, I watched him light up and inhaled deeply, then hold the smoke in his lungs. In my stoned haze, I looked at his buff physique. Jeff was an inordinately good looking man, lithe muscles bulging in a tight tank top, dark hair and darker eyes and intense features, someone who, if he had been born as a woman, most any man would have rated as a "10".

He passed me the lit bong. "Here, suck on this."

I inhaled deeply, then struggl... Continue»
Posted by mariokarlsson 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Top Reasons Why Men Cheat

There are quite a few reasons that could contribute to why men get involved with other women. Mainly, the sexual attraction, companionship, and curiosity pull men closer to those that they will have an affair with. TV shoes, advertisements, movies, and novels also contribute to the excitement of the lust for more women. While women tend to cheat on their boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands for reasons such as intimacy, sex, and money, men have a few different reasons.

Most of the time men wind up cheating to have more sex. They might lack enough sex in their current relationship, so they might... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Sex secrets sure to drive him wild!

When it comes to sex and for*play, men think differently and so do women. What may work for the goose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that is thrilling, memorable and completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secret fantasies!

Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.

Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up to something. His kiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for it brings on an exhilarating primal ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Something funny

# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask
the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the
front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if
your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
1221."

# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Angler's Delights Ch. 01

(Fishing couple discovers camp mates)

My wife, Virginia, and I had been driving continuously for over eighteen hours in a mad dash to get to our favorite Atlantic Salmon river for the season's opening day. The biggest obstacle that remained in our way was Kurley's Mountain! Commencing at near sea level, Kurley's Mountain Highway climbed the sea side of the mountain to over fifteen hundred feet above sea level. Climbing a distance of slightly less than four kilometers, with the last kilometer having the highest grade incline, the engine of our fully loaded four wheel drive howled in protest ... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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risky toolshed sex with the chavs

well last night i was watching football when i get a knock at the window. its the chav crew. its jason, nicky and jamie. anyway they want to come in. the house was empty so i let them in

They want a shag off me so i said ok, anyway the car comes up the drive its the f****y so i quicky get them out of the house through the window.

anyway as i do that jamie and nicky leg it over the wall. jason however just hides. i go to door open it and then go see f****y into house. i say im just getting a drink of mountain dew out of the shed. we keep some pop in there along with other tinned stuff( ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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“wondering what he would do…”

“wondering what he would do…”

This post, inspired by a communication from a specific xhamster woman, is purely my fantasy, based upon a remarkably small number of private messages where she shared what she liked about my writing.

Chapter 1: Shake something at them...
SHE (starting from her perspective):
I can’t believe that I’m actually flying to Atlanta to check out this kinky “Emorymed” guy from xhamster (Wonder what his real name is?). What started as a passing curiosity, evolved to email exchanges, 'make me blush' photos, skype and now, finally, “in the flesh”. Although w... Continue»
Posted by emorymed 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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my new life...part 5

james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A Sexy Romp Through Space-Time

I basically wrote this story just to see if I could pull it off. It is an unedited once over piece but it has gotten good feedback so I decided to post it and see what other people think.

OF WIZARDS AND STARSHIPS

A SEXY ROMP THROUGH SPACE-TIME


A cold and bitter wind blew through the darkened English countryside, carrying the promise of snowfall before morning. Across the land, Muggles and Wizards alike wisely chose to avoid the winter weather and instead found things to do indoors where it was safe and warm.
Despite being wrapped in numerous layers of defensive magical spells, ... Continue»
Posted by wraithe_13 2 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Lunch Break

part 2 continuation of "Wake Up!"

After this morning's "wake up" I couldn't focus on work all morning
my thoughts are of nothing but you
your flawless creamy white skin, ample breasts and firm round ass
the scent of your perfume
your light brown hair that frames your angelic face
the pout of your full luscious lips
and your eyes, I lose myself in their dreamy caramel luster
I arrive at our meeting spot, the drinking fountain by the supply closet
you're not there, you're late
we only have 30 minutes for lunch
you said that you had a surprise for me
what could it be...
a new rest... Continue»
Posted by CMStivy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Oooh lala LOVERS voyager

u come out from a shower with jst a towel on u... saying in a naughty way that u jst shave it ;) me... without a word i take my shirt and my short... be naked in bed... u laught and throw that towel... then jump nxt to me ♥ I leaned over ur face and gently kissed ur sweet fresh cheeks... then lightly i put my lips on urs which was so hot and sweet... after many crazy kisses and some frenshy which was realy enough to make my dick go up... oh... i moved my lips down to ur neck... many little gentle kisses... then to ur boobes placing ur whole nipple in my mouth and suck it ;) but the tongue play... Continue»
Posted by LadyWild 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Who's the boss?

“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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My Sexy Saali(s****r-in-Law)

Mera nam Preetam hai. Meri umar 19 saal ki hai. Ghar par mere alawa kewal mere bhaiya Mohan aur bhabhi Anu hi hain. 2 saal pahle bhaiya ki shaadi huyee hai. Bhabi maayke gayee thi. Bhabhi jab wapas aayee to unke saath unki chhoti bahan Sapna bhi hamare ghar aayee. Wo bahut hi khoobsurat aur bahut hi chanchal thi. Uski umar lagbhag 17 saal ki thi. Wo mujhe bhi jija kahti thi aur bahut mazak karti thi. Bhabhi ne use mere room ke bagal wala room de diya tha. Ek din raat ko main bathroom jaa raha tha to maine dekha wo bahut hi dhyan se key hole se bhaiya ke room mein dekh rahi thi. Gallery mein ek... Continue»
Posted by fuckutonight 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it co... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P1)

Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.

Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 2)

Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.

As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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