Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

First Time in Person

Our eyes locked across the length of the airport lobby. We'd met
countless times before, but only in cyberspace. From the first time
we'd chatted and ended up teasing each other into frenzied orgasms, we
knew we'd have to meet in person. When we "talked" online, we always
skipped the small talk, "Hi, how are you?" and sped right to the sex.
Sometimes it was slow and seductive, but mostly it was hard and direct,
with lots of colorful language.

I was 22. You were 34. We had talked about desires. I wanted an older
man, someone to dominate me, take advantage of me. You wanted a
y... Continue»
Posted by Gyrl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Manghihilot na manyak!

In our place, there is one quack doctor as I can say. We locally called this "manghihilot", whenever we have some kind of sickness that medical doctors can not cure, we turn to them for cure. They usually use oil and oration and other amulets that drives sickness or bad spirits away. They usually do "hilot" or a type of curative massage that focuses on relieving bodily pains and sickness.

Our "manghihilot" is known in our area since I was a c***d, during that time he is on his 50s or something. Until now, he still performs "hilot" and at his age, which I assume at around 80s, is still ... Continue»
Posted by mrsbogmaliso 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Enjoyed by thieves



Hello everyone I would be never be able to forget the most nerve wrecking night of my life I am girl from Mumbai my name is Sanjana I am working with an IT company staying all alone in my office accomodation. I like seducing men because I am incredibly sexy with a milky white body like 36b – 32 – 38 figure fleshy and tight pussy . I have got a very seducing eyes , long hairs, gorgeous lips I have coloured my hairs red , and always keep body clean , non hairy and smell ... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Chapter 4)

Dorothy and Leandra stood there silent, then a slate of rock moved down, opening up a way out of the circle of rocks that imprisoned them.

"Well theres the way out what do we do Dorothy"

"I don't know Leandra, we have to decided before they trap us here forever"

Leandra went over and grabbed their things. Picking up their clothes and her bag. She brought them over to the opening and tossed them out. She stood there looking out at the freedom her clothes had, but she still felt trapped. She didn't want to make the decision. Maybe her and Dorothy could come up with a way to get out. Th... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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HOW THEY HAVE SEX

HOW THEY HAVE SEX

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest ... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Freeze frame.

Watching her in the shower is a thrill, the slow fall of water flowing down her caramel skin legs, wr****g around those perfectly toned thighs long lean, graceful every move of the wash cloth over her flat stomach, bubbles gathering in her belly button praying to call it home, with her quick spin on the heels of her feet they are whipped away, shoulders elegantly dropped feeling the water rush over her short light brown hair, with soap on her face I make my move, open the door and slip right in, standing from behind my hands firmly grasp her arms and slide down to her hands fingers interlock, ... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My Girlfriend Told Me She's Gay

Not really a true story...but, it sounds like fun...

My Girlfriend Told Me She's Gay

I had a girlfriend who told me she's gay,
My first reaction was to say "No way."
I gave this situation some heavy thought,
It seemed so against everything I was taught,
I told her she just had to go,
Who it was I didn't want to know,
I told her she could do what she like,
I didn't want to meet this other dyke,
Then in a while instead of being furious,
I found myself becoming a bit curious,
What she told me nearly put me in shock,
She'd been dating the girl down the block,
The on... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 8: The Cure for What Ail

One Week Later....

As I regained my strength in my room. Ben was there every day keeping me aprised of his research. "Dude!" he said bursting into my room. "Guess what I found!" he added. "What?" I asked lampooning his excitement. "I found THE Milo Rembaldi expert, his name is Dr. Michael Reyerson!" "And this helps us how?" I asked. "Because not only is he the Rembaldi expert he's also his great grandson. He was Born Milo Michael Rembaldi!" "We gotta talk to this guy, he has to have answers!" I said sitting up. "The only drawback is that he lives and works in Coleman...that's 40 miles away!... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Shakedown

"Strip," I said.
"What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?"
"I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads."
"Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Strip," I said.
She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood before me and she was quite simply stunning. She wore a white blouse. The material sheer a... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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FAQs About Me

I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.

1. Do you do guys?

As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.

2. Do you do girls?

Yes. Of all ages.

3. What are your views on i****t?

Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Harley Quinn and Batgirl

Batgirl was out in gotham it had been a long night and she was ready to head home as nothing much was going on. Just then something caught her eye a shadow in the next street.

She moved stealthy over and knelt down peering around the corner, she saw harley quinn trying to break in to the back of a jewelers store, batgirl sighed thinking she was in the mood for this but moved round the corner sneaking up behind harley.

"need a hand there harley" batgirl said, harley jumped around "no im ok thank's" she said with a cheeky smile, "oh cut that out right now I don't have time for this im taki... Continue»
Posted by michaelalwayshorny 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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ivy league ch 2

"Umm... well," he hesitated only for a moment because he had his side of the story already figured out. He realized it would come to this, so he had a plan in mind. "Your son insisted that he come to the concert with us, even though we warned him to follow your rules. On the way to the concert he got pulled over for speeding. The cop searched your car and found his d**gs."

"My son doesn't do d**gs! He said those were yours!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, but he's just trying to lay the blame on someone else," he replied smugly.

"How dare you accuse my son of being a liar," she said angrily.
... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Susanna Francessca on James Whale Show

This is a true story sent to me by a friend. There's lots of pictures and videos of Susanna here on my channel and also all over the internet. She's worth a look at !!!!

"There used to be a television programme in the UK called ‘The James Whale Show’. It was a  mixture of interviews with famous people and a bit of nudity as well. I remember seeing Susanna on there a few times, but in pretty minor roles, always looking sexy but mainly dressed. However, one week she was on a lot more.
There used to be a topless girl dressed as a mermaid on most weeks and James Whale would always stand near ... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 24 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Our Own Show

Nikki was the first to blow. S/he caught me square in the eye.

"Oh! I'm cumming," s/he shouted.

That caused a chain reaction. Francesca splashed me on one side while Zaza got me on the other.

************************************************************************

"Fuck!' shouted Nick in frustration. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"I'm OK!" I assured Dennis.

"Now what do we do?" asked Zaza.

And with that one of Gigi's favorite movies popped into my head.

"Come on everybody! It's like what Judy Garla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Steamy story

I originally wrote this for a chick on a dating site who may or may not have been a dude... or a bot...

I'm looking at that picture of you in the black dress with the white polka dots. I can imagine you wearing that, one spaghetti strap dangling over your tattooed shoulder. Our eyes meet with a sultry glance and your hand teasingly reaches into your dress, exposing more of your creamy white flesh, but not enough to reveal aereola. From the bulge in my pants and the approving look on my face, you know the curves of your toned, slender body are driving me to the edge of sanity. First, yo... Continue»
Posted by Fork 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 18

The Italian Job 18
I have re-submitted this one after some confusion, so if it crops up again, just ignore it, this one may be a bit of a tear jerker so ladies have your hankies ready.

Several weeks past and all was relatively quiet but I was troubled, something was bugging me and I could not make up my mind, I said nothing to Ellie but finally succumbed and went to Genoa, I knew the address and parked outside, I sat in the car for an hour trying to get up the courage to go and knock on the door, finally I went to the door, I knocked and a tall elegant middle aged Italian woman answered th... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My Past Life

“Your hands, your mouth are to be helpers to my cock, as are those of your s****r!
She has made me cum, with her hands and mouth, more times than I can count!
At command, she hardens me, strokes me, licks, sucks, until the inevitable end of her skills, and then, what do you think happens? What do you suppose I do?

I shoot my cum, my semen, on her face. That is my greatest pleasure, but not by any means my only one. But soon, you will see for yourself what I will require from you”.


I will make no comment on the above variant version of the Marquis de Sade, except to say that it is ... Continue»
Posted by Raedman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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A bit of Posh!

Right then… in my ‘pretty woman I am not’ post I mentioned 2 other ‘gentlemen callers’ that had recently made my acquaintance. Well in this entry I am going to fill you all in on the second one. As with the first, my inspiration for nicknames has for some reason or another vanished, and as he already said he really didn’t want to be called ‘cutting-in’ (suggested for a couple of reasons… all of which clever I thought) I needed to go back to the ‘sex-inspired’ drawing board. I kind of had the feeling that I should try and incorporate an element from the film ‘indecent proposal’ but was bugge... Continue»
Posted by unassumingmistress 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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15 Things That Can Impress Every Girl

This is what all girls had to say when we asked them to mention a few traits that they like or dislike about men. So if you haven’t been out with women, or haven’t been able to hold on to a steady girlfriend, take a look. With this, tomorrow could be your lucky day! we compiled a few turn on’s and a few turn off’s that the men can definitely use.







Things that Impress Women

1. Confidence
2. Sense of Humor
3. Intelligence
4. Support
5. Sensitivity
6. Self-Worth
7. Focused Goals
8. Great Imagination
9. Independent Streak
10. Passionate and Desirous
11. Bravery and Coura... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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