Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 100

Open door


By: Andrew Bonzua (a. k. a Andrew M. Bosnjak)


The door was open, and she had seen him drive off. Surely he would
have a copy of his own books in his home! Why, she could slip in and
take a look, and leave again, and he would never know.

She did not know why this idea slipped into her head. She would never
have thought of such a thing, usually. But it was true: here was an
opportunity to read the very works she had been so frustrated in trying
to find. A silly thing, to be unable to buy or borrow books, the
author of which lived in one's own town.

And it wasn't as if they wer... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
454
  |  
67%
  |  1

Nostalgia: Details about my sexual partners

I haven't been with many women, I am not even old enough to drink yet so I still got time! I have been with a few different girls & have had a few nice experiences with each of them, sorry no visuals for any of them. Only my most recent ex:
http://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/227247-1.html
So here's a little info on the girls I was with & some of the experiences I've had so far.

Name - Age
Race
Hair Color - Type
Eye Color
Age I was when I was with them
What I did with them
Best experience





Amanda - 18
White
Black - Straight Long (To hips)
Light Blue
18
HJ, BJ, Sex, Ana... Continue»
Posted by overdoser 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
453
  |  
67%
  |  1

My first Pussy-sort of...

In my messages I received a lot of positive feedback from my first experience, so here is the rest of the month. Again, this is the beginning of my sexual life and it is true.

After I had my first orgasm with Ron, I was pretty much insatiable. I still had no clue how to satisfy myself; that is to say I had no idea I could jack myself off. I only thought that Ron possessed this magical power. However, it seemed my dick was perpetually hard as all twelve year old boys are. And I could not stop thinking about sex: in the classroom, on the paper route, doing my homework, I was a wreck. I was co... Continue»
Posted by mahuluvr 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
453
  |  
89%

The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch9/P1)

Dorothy could feel the sunrise on her face. She cracked her eyes open and looked down. Leandra had fallen asl**p with Dorothy left nipple in her mouth, sucking on it like a thumb. Dorothy smiled, opened her eyes and looked up at the blue sky but saw the end of a spear inches from her face. The spear was being held by a hunched over green creature.

It was a little smaller then Dorothy but was very muscular. Its skin was a deep hunter green color. The skin looked slimy but was not dripping any. It had long fingers with broken nails on the end. It had single ragged cloth that covered its ches... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
453
  |  
100%
  |  3

return to the sex party (Priapus)

After my first time at the sex party I was
well I'm not sure how to describe it, my confidence
was up and I felt empowered.
The parties were monthly, just about right
more frequent and they wouldn't be special
but less and I would start to stray.

For my return visit I did some shopping
I went online and did a bit of research
then purchased something special which
arrived on the morning of the party.
I have a summer dress that was ideal
lloose and flowing, slightly hippie and
a bit girlie, I felt like the flake girl in
it. I wore it with a belt low slung around my h... Continue»
Posted by celcus 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
452
  |  
93%
  |  2

Strange things you think of

With the heat of this summer I have been finding it difficult to sl**p and strange things come into my mind like
Why did Daphne always disappear with Freddy in Scobby Doo, they were useless though Daphne certainly had a wiggle that even now I think is pretty hot.
Velma - how dirty would she be, I have been with nerdy girls and well they are very naughty to say the least.
Shaggy ... I am still in shock during an episode with Scrappy Doo he was riding a Llama trying to escape a Vampire. Did the cartoon company ever figure out that Llamas were never really ridden. Well logic and cartoons are r... Continue»
Posted by coltheharve78 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
452
  |  
100%
  |  1

Ass-Scent of a Goddess


As I sit in the waiting lobby of a beautiful marbled complex, I look at the women around me.
I'm surrounded by beauties of all shapes, colours and sizes.

I know I look good, but these girls ranging between the ages of 18 - late 40s are all so beautiful.
There's a beautiful marble fountain in the middle of the room emanating a calm soothing sound of flowing water, like a steady stream.
It's intricately decorated with statues of Rubenesque women sitting on the faces of smaller men and women.
Each statue is made up of platinum and silver and gold and other precious metals.

The centrep... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 9 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
452
  |  
75%
  |  4

Two for the Balcony

You and I are at a movie theater. We have the back row all
to ourselves. No more than a minute after the lights have dimmed,
you begin slipping your hand beneath the box of popcorn on my lap
to give me an unexpected massage. I flinch in surprise at first
and slap your hand away out of propriety. But after you make
another advance beneath the popcorn, I find myself with a rather
powerful involuntary hard-on. My whispered warnings for you to
behave go unheeded. By the time the previews have ended and the
feature has begun, you've managed to unzip my trousers and have
worked your fi... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
452
  |  
97%
  |  3

Penis Types

Penis Types

1. Expensive Penis:
Not many penis fall into this definition. Expensive penis can be recognized by the following - suit and tie, nice vehicle, expensive watches, and well groomed.
Advantages: when you close your purse and make him pay for your dates he’ll disappear.
Disadvantages: his mother will fall to her knees and beg you to take him away.

2.Cheap Penis: Is not rare at all, they live with their parents and take the bus. Because they don’t have a job to buy a car.
Advantage: once his many sources of borrowed money runs out he’ll go away.
... Continue»
Posted by xhamporn 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
84%
  |  9

Surfing Porn at the Office Can Lead to a Promotion


A new study recently released by researchers purports to show that men who surf porn at the office are up to 69 percent more likely to be promoted to a management position when compared to men who refrain from such activities.

In another surprising discovery based on the same research, scientists reported that as many as 6.9 percent of male white collar employees spend at least two hours per day viewing pornography on any given work day, with Wednesday being the day of peak porn viewing activity.

"It would be an understatement to say that we were thrilled to uncover these results," sai... Continue»
Posted by krisp05 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
61%
  |  1

The Punishment - Short Story

Lucy Sky, 24, happily married with two c***dren, had a very straight religious up-bringing. She learned already very early in life, that as a true believer you have to condemn the sin but to love the sinner - and she definitely seems to love both of them equally. She is a conqueror, a temptress and a teaser, but only in her erotic fantasies:

»You were masturbating in the dormitory again - s****r Noris heard you! How many cautions did you get already?« »Two, Father Anselm!« »And: do you confess?« »Oh yeah, Father Anselm, I do?« »So: all my prayers were in vain? You still are a naughty woma... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
88%
  |  1

Dirty Jokes

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!

Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
A: Because he overdosed on viagra!

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!

Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower is coming.
... Continue»
Posted by xhamster69bbc 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
100%
  |  2

Sarah Sneaks In

Yep, I’m making another one of these! Next one is already planned, but I’m not sure if the next piece I’ll upload is that one, or another one I’ve had on my mind for a while. Hint hint: I’m not sure how well video game rule 34 will be appreciated here. :P
Same as usual! Hit CTRL+F or scroll down to “SEX STARTS HERE” if that’s what you’re here for!
NOTE- PLEASE love a comment! Good, bad, ugly, any are good! I need reviews if I want to improve!
________________________________________________________________________________

The sky was pitch black and the moon was high in the sky. I sat al... Continue»
Posted by soniclemon 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
71%
  |  1

Ass-bang

Bumfelt kissed her. Their lips met. Slow and then eager. Bumfelt pulled her close. Put one hand around her slender waist and slid the other across her skirt, down her stocking leg.
“We shouldn’t……we can’t….,” she gasped, pulling her head away from Bumfelt’s. “It’s not appropriate and-“
“No. You’re right,” said Bumfelt, stepping back, running a hand across his two day stubble, glancing away. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry, Roxy. I should-“
“I want to.”
“What?”
“I want to,” repeated Roxanne softly. “I want to feel a man one last time. I need that. I need you, Eddie... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
100%

Don't be grateful

When this little Duckie went to uni, she had her eyes open to an abundance of cock. Thick, thin, skin on, circumcised, pierced, hairy and most of all the continuous discussion point of big versus small. As I was "new" to the sex scene, it took a while for me to realise that I should not be putting up with a life shattering bad sex. After many experiences of this kind and me thinking that this should be tolerated (it isn't) I now know without hesitation what my answer would be if asked this question: "would you rather have bad sex for the rest of your life, or none at all?" I still have my toys... Continue»
Posted by Muckieduckie 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
450
  |  
67%

8 Ways to Feel Closer After Sex

Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, it’s sl**p, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. “Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.

1. If you’re hungry, forgo ordering a pizza and instead... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
449
  |  
88%
  |  2

piss

i woke up in the night and had to have a piss so held it in as long as i could and could feel my ball getting bigger and buy dick was pumping and pumping and just let go the piss fill my pants and soke my bed and it ran down my leg and it was a good feeling and i cum at the same time and left my room and as i left my room my mum went in and she could see all the piss and cum and said come with me so i did and my mum put me in her bed and lick my ball to get the cum off and piss and she sat on my face and said i have to clean that up and she piss on my face and piss on my dick so i pull of my a... Continue»
Posted by jimbob12345 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
449
  |  
65%

Mary's Furtive Flatulent Fetish Part 3


Mary and Angie continued to have weekly farting contests. Their weekly contests and gas inducing foods made them perpetually gassy. It seemed like neither Amy nor Mary could go 20 minutes without letting out some farts. Amy felt very comfortable around Mary, and passed gas freely around the dorm bedroom. Mary was still shy, and tried to let them out as silently as possible. Despite her best efforts, Mary usually couldn't let them out silently. She would shift her round plump ass, trying to let them out quietly, but usually failed to Angies great amusement. Angie would usually respond by lean... Continue»
Posted by ifm 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
448
  |  
50%

celebrating our one year together

True Story
Bappy's parents went out for a few hours and we were feeling naughty.
I got up and kissed bappy really passionately and he pushed me against the wall holding my arms above my head.
I struggled free and opened the door with my elbow not taking my lips off bappy. on our way through I grabbed a towel from the bannister and threw it on the bed. He picked me up and pushed me onto the bed kissing his way down my body.

Ramming his tongue in my pussy we both groaned as he tasted me and teased my little pussy. as I leaned up he pulled off my top and trousers properly and left me in ... Continue»
Posted by maaao 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
446
  |  
72%
  |  2

Life is a Roller Coaster Ride


I believe every now and then life brings you full of surprises. Your relations with old buddies Vanish in a moment , You develop new relations and your relations with old friends with whom you are proud off go so bitter that you don’t feel like calling them and on the other side you get in touch with new friends and they become integral part of your life.

This story is all about such relations which turned into some serious involvements and I am from Indore working in a Reputed Company at a very senior position and I am marrie
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
446
  |  
67%