Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 100

Pussy Glory

I'm having my morning coffee and scanning the Sunday newspaper; she comes in all wrinkled after her sl**p BUT FRESH and in her nightie. She bends over a bit and gives me the morning kiss. I kiss her back grabbing her waist with my left hand, lifting her nightie with my right and sticking my head inside her nightie; she smells GOOD. I kiss her stomach softly and smell the sweet smell of her still naked pussy. She's clean shaven with just a bit of pubic hair on her pelvis.

I'm not letting her go and just ask her to play along. I'm moving aside my empty cup and newspaper, push back my chair a... Continue»
Posted by xocci 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Summer Sex Drought's Ended - This Time It

This is another true story from a year in college that had a series of unusual sexual and fun incidents that occurred after a summer of not getting laid due to a work schedule that put me out of touch with my network of friends.

Keri, the girl from my story “Jan Curing My Summer Sex Drought” was starting to attend my college a few weeks after my encounter with Jan at the party, where Keri’s advances were frustrated by Jan’s bold move to burst into the bathroom and give me an ambush fuck.

Keri was a cute blonde with a nice body who I pretty much ignored during high school, but what I ... Continue»
Posted by nvision 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Lesley part24

"Thought you were on earlies this morning?.....how come you get such a long lie.....you shagging the boss or something? Hahaha" lesley jokingly asked Sylvia when she bumped into her at nearly one in the afternoon.

"Humph...not funny....anyway...I know who's shagging the boss" she replied with disdain.

"What's wound you up ya daft mare?"

"Guess...he's nearly thirty stone, bald, bearded, and has the charm of a Rottweiler.....and me tits are sore"

"McPeevie?.... Oh fuck...what's happened?"

"Missing notes....ring a bell?... Plus...er....some other things....I had to...er....um....... Continue»
Posted by Les1111 10 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Taking a Dump


I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber.....

The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world a... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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here's something for you and your buzzing bun

would u like to sit down on the bed and spread ur legs open... close ur eyes and lay back... i kneel infront of you and place my hands on ur boobs
mhmm
i squeez your boobs softly and slowly move my hand n pull ur nipples gently
i then lift my self up to ur boobs
and i start with soft kisses on ur left breat and then i move back to the right breat
i slowly and softly kiss around your nipples while every few kisses i flick my tongue on ur nipple
and i start to suck the right nipples softly and gently while flick my tongue on ur nipples
first i do it slow n then little bit faster and i mov... Continue»
Posted by str888888 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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One Night in April: Part 3

The next few weeks were challenging to say the least. Keeping our affair a secret while expressing animosity in public was trying for both of us. It got so bad that when we finally did have moments to ourselves we'd cry in each others arms.

Things became especially challenging when Brad's Mother invited me to their Timeshare in the Hamptons for a Month.

We'd be on the shore soaking up sun and i'd see April in her bathing suit and want desperately to fuck her. We'd quietly slip away and make out among the dunes or have a quick, passionate fuck in the last stall of a public bathroom but ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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chating spanish wife

My fingers peck at the keyboard as I blink at the screen, the words glowing fuzzily back at me. I reach out and take a sip of my soda to wet my drying lips. I read over her words again.

{my pussy is so wet for u}

I glance at my response in the send box before hitting return, watching my words magically appear on the screen before me.

{r u playing with urself now?}

I couldn't believe how wrapped up in this I had become. I never went into chatrooms before, the whole interest of computers and Internet communication escaping me, but sitting home by myself for days upon days, nothing to... Continue»
Posted by zopri 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The first time ( a meeting )

This is a true - ish story, but the names have been changed to protect the individuals.


His wife didn't understand him, she was too vanilla and he hated it. He wanted more passion, more excitement and he knew he was never going to get that at home. John had found something to keep himself, or his hands occupied too. I'm not sure, maybe he wanted to feel more wanted.
The sex site he had found had great video's on it, plenty of choice, and a world away from anything he had ever experienced ever.
John and Sara had mutual friends and had started dating, and as one by one their friends go... Continue»
Posted by redhead123 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Roaming the City on a glorious summers day I find

The sun filtered in through the window, its golden rays warming my naked flesh as I awoke.

I pushed the thin sheet covering back even further and smiled dreamily as I felt a pulse of sexual energy wash over me.

Lazily, I traced my fingers around the fullest part of my breasts, enjoying how heightened my senses were on this gorgeous sunny day. My skin tingled as fingertip connected to flesh, and I trailed a line down my body becoming more aroused by the moment.

My pelvic region began to pulsate as I teased myself running my fingers up and down my legs, and I felt myself becoming wetter... Continue»
Posted by The_Real_Kaz_B 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Coast is Clear

We sat on the side of the motorway bridge, on the earthen bank, partially hidden by some low bushes. Below us ran a cycle track, stretching under the bridge and far off into the distance, it forked on our side of the bridge and ran alongside the bank before disappearing into a small clump of trees beside the road.

I munched contentedly on my sandwiches while my friend was crunching down a bag of crisps. We were waiting for two more friends. The four of us usually met here on our lunch break in summer. It was a place where we could get away from the working environment of college, just visi... Continue»
Posted by Oxfordlad 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 20

The Italian Job 20
The night went well with Maria giving her usual performance, she was staring at me as she took the guys in turn as they lined up to fill her with spunk, it was running down her legs in rivers by the time they had finished and got bored with her,
I was surprised because neither Sonia or Yvonne got involved with anyone else and there were plenty of potential suitors but they didn’t seem to want to know, Christina was still a bit sore in her arse but she took some guy in the pool that I think both eased the problem with her arse and took her mind off the problem because she... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical..... 25

Theatrical…….25

The table had been fairly quiet up till then and afterwards the conversation started, most of it was about energy matters and from ear wigging some of the conversation’s I gathered that Gerald had been given a standing ovation for his talk that afternoon, no wonder the company wanted to award him, then I began to panic, what was I supposed to do if he was called to accept this award, should I go with him, should I remain seated, what?,
I couldn’t ask him, it was all meant to be a surprise, “oh fuck, what was the protocol in these circumstances, I looked at Del, I had to st... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Beginner's Meeting, A Play (Third stab at hum

Beginner’s Meeting, A Play

Scene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts.
Characters:
Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader.
Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat.
Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep.
Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed casually in jeans and a dress shirt.
Carrie: Middle aged woman, about 45 dressed rather scantily. ... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Inexcusable Love Part 1

Chapter 1~

Cranbrook Secondary.
1:17 p.m.
Friday.

"Hey Cranbrook Secondary. Here are your daily announcements. Cheerleading squad needs to be at the Lions football game at four thirty for practices before the B.C. Lions play Chicago. If you want my advice guys, bring a camera-" laughing in the background- "and now for the choir. Hey Choir students, wondering if there are any extra try outs? Fortunately, yes! Try outs start after school at three o' five so be there sharp! Lastly,grade twelve drama singing tryouts-" I straightened my back to listen carefully- "will be held in the north ... Continue»
Posted by milli214 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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A memorable pussy eating session!

Fingerme on xHampster talks about her squirting and the fun of telling people about it - I loved reading about her squirting. That's special and hot. So she inspired me to tell a true story about my first and only squirting experience with a woman. I was on a business trip to Miami in a new job and a female co-worker named Lois was "training" me. She was hitting on me throughout the trip and I didn't like her and didn’t want to get into complications of mixing sex and work. So did my best to avoid things for the two weeks we were going to be on the road. It was winter and we had the option of ... Continue»
Posted by nvision 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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More makeup sex because it’s awesome

He pressed his lips to hers as he pushed the tip of his dick inside her gently, the whimper she let out made his arms quiver at either side of her head, and she held onto the side of his face so she could kiss him even deeper, while he filled her further and further until she was full.

“Oh,” she pulled away enough to whisper against his lips, “that’s so good.”

A few days before had been their biggest fight yet; real yelling, real hurt feelings, real tears, and it had been the first time it took a while to resolve it. In bed together, kissing, and feeling him inside her, it reminded them ... Continue»
Posted by monster__cock 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Cute And Sensual School Love

As it turned out I was the highest scorer in my cbse exams of class 10 among that class, so very soon I started getting my response from teachers and friends including girls. A few of them struck me as they were very beautiful, and one of them was she. Even though I am writing this story with our mutual consent, let me not display her name, some things are better kept secret. She was a damn good looking girl, with a cute look, average height of 5.3 and a killing smile. A smile for which half the school will die for. She was among the most beautiful girls of the school. She had small boobs whic... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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LUST OR REGRET YOU DECIDE

LUST OR REGRET YOU DECIDE

I was 24 when I had my first job at a law firm it was what I had studied to do in the last 4 years,
I was really pleased to be able to work as a defense lawyer for the next few years it was always my intentions to one day have my own law firm,
While working in the office there was always opportunities to date some of the office girls in fact it was so easy for me to chat them up as a single man I was always told that I was very good looking young man,
Over the coming months I was promoted and was moved upstairs to the new department,
It was then I saw this lad... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Great Sex

There is a difference between sex and great sex. Sex is just doing it and getting it done. Great sex is enjoying it and making it last maybe even for days. Undressing each other and marveling each body. I love to undress the man and kiss the bare skin as I uncover it. I want him to do the same to me. Lick amd suck each others nipples. I really love everything underneath a mans pants. That nice thick cock, the full balls and of course the sexy ass. Ass is my favorite. Kiss and lick those ass cheeks then spread them and find that nice bud. Lick all around it and kiss it and surprise him when I i... Continue»
Posted by polygirl42 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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First Time Interracial Guy Anal Painfully Short

My asshole is still aching every time I need to take a shit and I hold it, and it feels shamefully good when I go as it slides out my destroyed gaping ass. My cock has been getting rock hard when I notice the pain in my ass as I’m sitting in my meeting trying to re-adjust my position. It’s the perverted disgusting little things that made getting ****d worth it, but I guess you can’t really call it that when you ignore every instinct and put yourself in a situation like that.

I was feeling horny, desperate, working a lot and stressed out… for whatever reason searched and actually found a dec... Continue»
Posted by letsnotell 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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