Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 100

Allow me to introduce myself :

I don't want the truth. I want the dream. I don't need to be the center of attention; or have all the eyes on me. I don't want the lies and gossip spread around.

I get the hush when I walk through the door. I want to see the fear in their eyes when I walk on by with my head held high. They all hate me because I don't care about looks or the ideal body, yet follow me around like the worthless dogs that they are.

They say I am like Peter Pan. They say that I am vain and have an ego that is in full control. They tell me I'm apathetic as if I were to care.

But they don't fucking know m... Continue»
Posted by inmynewskin 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 342  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 9

Dear Dirty Diary,

Eight weeks had passed since Doug had come home from the hospital. He was still a little pale looking and complained of being cold all the time because of the bl**d thinners. The night before, he was detached and completely immersed in a Blue Jays baseball game. Early the following morning was gray and rainy and I was feeling quite sorry for myself. Like a fool looking for comfort, I went down into the den, popped in that Lisa Brokop “When I get to be you” CD into the stereo and cranked up the volume.
... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 341  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch9/P2)

Leandra took a quick look back at the knight and the gobkins, to see it any of them had moved towards her. When she knew it was safe she turned her attention back to Nikko.

"I want you to go back to the castle and find Zimo and Gotifri. Tell them to gather a small group of loyal soldiers and come to Mombi castle. I don't know how this is going to turn out and I might need their assistants. Have them stay hidden, until I signal them."

"How will you signal them, my queen."

"I will think of something. They will know it when they see it."

She heard the hoofs of the knight horse coming ... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 344  |  
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A chance encounter with my former slut slave mistr

A chance encounter with my former slut slave mistress

I am in the Kroger grocery in Toco Hills in Decatur GA, picking up some toothpaste, and you happen to have stopped in there to get an appropriately sized cucumber in the produce section on your way home from your swing-dance class.
It’s a shocking “OMG” moment. Neither of us really knows what to say, but you look fabulous in your swing skirt and I’m in a tank top.
We’re both thinking … we should just say hi and keep on walking, but we can’t take our eyes off each other. You just look great. I can’t speak for you but it ... Continue»
Posted by emorymed 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 341  |  
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The Italian job 3

The Italian job 3
I have told you about my adventures in the factory with Roseanna, Maria and Yvonne, this is a continuation of that adventure after I got over the shock of Maria teasing me about babies but I did continue to look after Maria and Yvonne sexually going for dinner at least once a week, taking her mother through the anal experience which she seemed to enjoy from the noise she made, I didn’t fuck Maria in the arse because for some reason I felt she was too special for me to spoil in this way and because of the way her mother was screaming when I fucked her arse, Maria could not qu... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 340  |  
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help me finish!!!

Ok so obviously that's not the name of this story, but I am having trouble taking this story where it needs to go. I was perfectly fine when I started but I seem to have a bit of a block and looking for help. I am pretty open and usually just write off the cuff... so if any of you would like to help and have some ideas it would be incredibly helpful. Let me know either by pm or posting a comment here. Would love any suggestions! thank you!

"Fuck!!!!", slamming my hand on the door. I can't believe I locked myself out. It's late August and there is a definite chill in the air. Well so m... Continue»
Posted by candicanne 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 340  |  
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"SpUnk coCK!"-LESLEY



when your a boy and your name is leslie-not female version ie lesley,
your first day at school is a real nightmare!-and it dont get any better
all the way through your school years.
boys are never gay but they sure get up to some strange games ,which if
any one else did would be "sooooo gay" i was teased and bullied a bit all
through my teen years,even though i soon learned too use my fists if things
got to "

crazy,i enjoyed hiding behind a "soft" image to see how far the guys
would go with "lesley anne" the S,punk rocker,yeah i was into punk... Continue»
Posted by spunkrokr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 339  |  
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That particular morning

Everyday I'd wake up around 7 am and take my morning dump, usually I'd read the newspaper sometimes I'd only have time for a quick one so it was a hastily achieved f***ed one, kind of dump that just shoots straight out which isn't fun when it's not solid as it covers the bowl like that time at my mother-in-laws when I forgot to flush after eating some bad fish.

Any who.

After my dump my wife (Gazzel) would have breakfast waiting for me at about 07:45-08:00, she'd always cook me something good like fried food with a side bowl of healthy cereal which I had the choice to eat but never did ... Continue»
Posted by TheShalong 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 339  |  
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wen out and just cant wait to b fuked!!

many times ive been out and about, in the pubs and clubs, we all know wat its like wen u get the sexual urge to b fuked rite there and then, well i can proudly say i have fuked in most of the pub toilets in my town...............due to the fact wen the urge cums on and its too strong its a case of drag ur boyfriend to the nearest toilet cubicle get his trousers undone and his cock in ur mouth give him a very enjoyable lush slow and sensual sucking until he is fit to blow............he pulls u up by ur hair bends u over the toilet, lifts ur skirt pulls down ur panties hard like he is almost goi... Continue»
Posted by andetonya999 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 339  |  
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Brief sex 008 In the cemetery at night

Brief sex 008


In the cemetery at night.



Ah the summer holidays when we were young, what memorable moments. This is the time when one awakens to love. In fact we think of nothing but ass girls much more than studying. That was my case, I sought every means to draw any passing petticoat. I must say that in my youth I feel that the fair were less shy. I think I've lived in good years.

I had just turned 17, but other times other manners at that age I was going on vacation with my parents. Oh it was not a hassle but they had too much on the back sometimes. That year we went to m... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 340  |  
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A Little R&R

A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.

As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Posted by elvinmagick 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 339  |  
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YOU CAN LOOK AND I WILL SAY WHEN YOU CAN TOUCH PAR

LOOK AND I WILL SAY WHEN YOU CAN TOUCH

Part 2

It was nearly a week later before I saw anyone which was strange as they never seemed to be there much considering they were a f****y I was beginning to think they were a very strange f****y,

I mean she put on a show for me, I then saw her with another man while her husband watched and the took part,
And now they were never at home and what’s happened to the son I haven’t seen him since they moved into the area very strange,

I’m still hoping to get to fuck her myself as it would seem that she likes to tease and then enjoys fucking othe... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 11 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 338  |  
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As I fucked slut

This slut I saw when she left the store. She was twenty years old. She unsuccessfully catching a taxi. I approached her from behind, and that there are f***es punched her in the head. This bitch has fallen to the ground, and I climbed on her and began to fuck on the street. She began to cry:
"Oh, Fuck, Fuck me!" I've never fucked. Fuck "
Its by a dick I broke her hymen. And she screamed, "Fuck, Fuck."
I felt that I wanted to finish. I turned this whore to her face, and finished it on the snout. She was licking my cum from his snout.
"Give me your phone&qu... Continue»
Posted by Sexual_Maniac 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 337  |  
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A weekend away (chapter 3)

A weekend away (chapter 3)


Woke up the next morning, shall I just say – weary, here we are, only been in the building 18 hours and we’ve already fucked each other to a standstill twice (not bad for an old bloke).

It’s ten past nine and shit, now we’ve missed breakfast – she’s still asl**p, lying next to me, looking her normal gorgeous self, only partially covered by the sheet and smelling the wonderful smell of pure womanhood.

The amazing bit for me is that she’s still asl**p and that’s from a woman who’s up at 6 and gone to work every day by 7, must be doing something right.... Continue»
Posted by pinks43 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 337  |  
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Dear Dirty Diary - part 3


Dear Dirty Diary,

Three weeks passed and it was Sunday morning. The sun peeked softly through the slats of the blinds in our bedroom, showing promise for an inspiring new day. Doug was sl**ping soundly, so I carefully slipped out of bed and headed for the shower. Soon the hot water tingled against my back and trickled down my bum, warming me completely. I shampooed my hair then began to lather the rest of me. The slippery bar of Dove slid soothingly across my wet skin, caressing my body with its softly rounded contours. Sure I had lathered my body completely, I took down the hand-held... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 336  |  
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The Mermaid - Short Story

Johnny Stout, 33, a life-long bachelor and a plumber by trade, is a very cheeky one: His element is the water and his love belongs to the mermaids of the deep! And whenever he dreams on his water bed at night his wet fantasies dive into the unexplored caverns hidden under the surface, the disturbed matress gurgling the sound track to his emotions:

Like in all those steaming hot summer nights when I can't find any sl**p I go for a refreshing swim. Quietly I climb over the fence of the local pool and listen out for noise. There is somebody already in the warm water, floating around at the f... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 334  |  
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From Russia with love ;)

OK, This is my First true story Sex adventure and there will be more ;)

So one of my friends named Sona messages me one day saying shes going to a club in the city and she wanted to know if her and some of her friends can sl**p over. So obviously me being a guy, I'm like yeah sure as long as I can get some enjoyment out of it ;). She (Being super prude lol) says she doesn't wanna wanna be eattin' out because she doesn't wanna complicate our friendship. But she said she was bring to friends so I was allow to get some action out of them ^_^. One was a girl I've already met named Janna who nev... Continue»
Posted by BBCbeast 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 336  |  
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Secret Affair

There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.

Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 335  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P2)

Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.

The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 335  |  
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sex story patr II (sonnnyla) for me

‘Hold your hand out!’ i exclaim, doing so i then lick your fingers... ‘Mmmm, tastes good’. Within seconds we are back to being fully aroused. Forgetting where we left off i turn you over so you are laid with your front on the bed. I kiss your bum cheeks and then tease around your rim for a while. I then kneel on the bed, pull your legs over my shoulders so your pussy is in my face, below my mouth and so you are facing down above my cock. Without hesitation you put your warm mouth over my cock, moving quickly up and down. I then put my tongue inside your vagina. I move in so deep and close that... Continue»
Posted by JessicaBrown 1 year ago  |  Categories: Voyeur, Sex Humor, Fetish  |  Views: 335  |  
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