Sex Humor Porn Stories
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From Russia with love ;)

OK, This is my First true story Sex adventure and there will be more ;)

So one of my friends named Sona messages me one day saying shes going to a club in the city and she wanted to know if her and some of her friends can sl**p over. So obviously me being a guy, I'm like yeah sure as long as I can get some enjoyment out of it ;). She (Being super prude lol) says she doesn't wanna wanna be eattin' out because she doesn't wanna complicate our friendship. But she said she was bring to friends so I was allow to get some action out of them ^_^. One was a girl I've already met named Janna who nev... Continue»
Posted by BBCbeast 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 337  |  
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Secret Affair

There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.

Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 335  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P2)

Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.

The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 335  |  
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sex story patr II (sonnnyla) for me

‘Hold your hand out!’ i exclaim, doing so i then lick your fingers... ‘Mmmm, tastes good’. Within seconds we are back to being fully aroused. Forgetting where we left off i turn you over so you are laid with your front on the bed. I kiss your bum cheeks and then tease around your rim for a while. I then kneel on the bed, pull your legs over my shoulders so your pussy is in my face, below my mouth and so you are facing down above my cock. Without hesitation you put your warm mouth over my cock, moving quickly up and down. I then put my tongue inside your vagina. I move in so deep and close that... Continue»
Posted by JessicaBrown 11 months ago  |  Categories: Voyeur, Sex Humor, Fetish  |  Views: 336  |  
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The Mermaid - Short Story

Johnny Stout, 33, a life-long bachelor and a plumber by trade, is a very cheeky one: His element is the water and his love belongs to the mermaids of the deep! And whenever he dreams on his water bed at night his wet fantasies dive into the unexplored caverns hidden under the surface, the disturbed matress gurgling the sound track to his emotions:

Like in all those steaming hot summer nights when I can't find any sl**p I go for a refreshing swim. Quietly I climb over the fence of the local pool and listen out for noise. There is somebody already in the warm water, floating around at the f... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 334  |  
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Sex on omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!


Stranger: Hey


You: hi


You: asl ?


Stranger: 15 f usa


Stranger: U?


You: 16 m france


You: are you sexy ?


Stranger: Yeah


Stranger: U?


You: tall, athletic body with 6 packs and blue eyes


Stranger: umm yeah ur sexy


Stranger: I'm shot, thin, athletic, blue eyes, blonde hair, and tan


Stranger: Short*


You: hmm you're sexy too


Stranger: Thanks


You: so have you a bf ?


Stranger: No


You: so you masturbate ?


Stranger: Yeah


You: how much o... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 334  |  
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Findxpartner-How To See Ur Friend Naked Pics

People, ever found a small glance of your findxpartner friends bosom while she bent low to choose something up?

Ever wanted you could have seen more? Of course..

If you have a companion who has relationship a magnificent looker, you would be inclined to imagine about your buddy's attractive time frame undressed too.

We want to see it more than ever. But more often than not, possibilities will come banging on your entrance if you can just understand to be on the lookout at the right time.

Spending a day out with your buddies at an alone identify, where in addition, there's a ... Continue»
Posted by carolwilliams 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 334  |  
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Hotel Pleasure palace.

George and Mildred arrived at Hotel Pleasure palace looking forward to a fantastic two week vacation.
The middle aged couple had worked pretty hard all year and this was their reward, and even though George had booked it late and was still surprised to pay so much for their room, a fortnight on the beach at a 5 star hotel resort was something they felt they really deserved.
They strolled into the open reception area gleaming in chrome and wood and marble and headed for the check in desk.
"Hello there George and Mildred Hill just booking in" grinned George.
The tall thin man behind the desk... Continue»
Posted by bighornycock123 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 334  |  
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Men Jokes

One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," replied Adam.
"Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
"OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?"
"I only gave you enough bl**d to operate one at time."

Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

How can you ... Continue»
Posted by TeenieR 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 336  |  
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Marcus

What happened was this!

Alana Wicks was a divorcee in her late thirties. She’d travelled the distance from trophy wife to yummy mummy through to beautifully groomed, well toned divorcee: and a thoroughly bored one at that. She was a tall, very good looking woman with a terrific figure – the gym and swimming saw to that, a mane of wavy blonde hair topped a very attractive picture. Her daughter Zoe was very much like her mother in appearance, but, to put it bluntly, rather dim! She had met Marcus at a disco in town. And she’d had sex with him within an hour of meeting h... Continue»
Posted by Whispa 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 331  |  
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A slight problem.

This is a story that is both part fiction and part truth.

You see, the thing is, I am something of a masochist. I like pain. Now, I'm not into the hardcore stuff like taking jumper cables to the sack or being stomped on by stiletto heels. I just like the light stuff, maybe some smacking around, hair pulling, and some of that. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a fema... Continue»
Posted by SinSeeker 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 331  |  
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Vampire's Slave pt 2

The venture


The previous night, after shooting a copious load of cum down the gorgeous vampire's throat, Danny had agreed to drive Sylvia across the country to meet with her b*****r and s****r. Well not her actual b*****r and s****r, but the three vampires had all been turned into bl**dsuckers by the same elder vampire and apparently in their world that meant they were f****y.

That morning at 5am, well before the sun was up, Danny and Sylvia hit the road.

Sylvia's car turned out to be a very nice black limousine, not the most subtle vehicle, but it had specially darkened windows and... Continue»
Posted by engineerx1980 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 332  |  
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festival fun

i was at a festival with four friends this summer and me and one girl sarah decided we'd share a tent.sarah is a sexy brunette with a face you would love to cum all over ass you'd love to lick and pussy to pound...

one night i went back to the tent early as i had thought of a brilliant idea.alone in the tent i went looking through her bag and found a lovely pair of white panties.the smell of them was making my cock throb in my jeans i had to start wanking it off furiously.while wanking i managed to find her tooth brush this excited me even more.i placed the toothbrush in my mouth panties ov... Continue»
Posted by emmawatsoncummer 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 330  |  
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Great car Mate! - A tale of Tea, Biscuits and som


I’ve told you about my fuck buddy and our first adventure with another guy, here is a tale of a very unusual dogging experience up at Wisley.
We arrived quite late one night and parked up in the cafe car park, both of us climbed into the back and started to kiss and cuddle as you do, I’m quiet keen to start removing her clothes as well as mine!
I’m down to my underpants and she is now just in her basque and stockings I’ve loosen her shoulder straps and sucking on her firm tits and tonguing her hard nipples, she has such wonderful tits and I can’t leave them alone, I take a peek outside an... Continue»
Posted by flashgit 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 330  |  
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Mary's Furtive Fetish

Mary was feeling a little worried. She was due to go to college in a couple weeks, which meant she had to move into the dorms.

"Can't I still commute from home?" Mary asked her parents.

"Oh no!" They said, "You wouldn't be getting the full college experience." They explained.

"Well," Mary tried, "Can I at least have a single dorm? How will I have any privacy if I share room with someone?"

"That's more expensive," They said, "And unnecessary, you'll make more friends and socialize more if you share a room with someone."

Mary valued her privacy and alone time. She was a straigh... Continue»
Posted by ifm 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 330  |  
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420 Reasons to Fuck

My new friend, Jeff, finished packing his large rainbow colored bong with a fresh load of sticky, resiny weed. My head buzzing from the bong hits we'd already taken, I watched him light up and inhaled deeply, then hold the smoke in his lungs. In my stoned haze, I looked at his buff physique. Jeff was an inordinately good looking man, lithe muscles bulging in a tight tank top, dark hair and darker eyes and intense features, someone who, if he had been born as a woman, most any man would have rated as a "10".

He passed me the lit bong. "Here, suck on this."

I inhaled deeply, then struggl... Continue»
Posted by mariokarlsson 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 329  |  
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Sex secrets sure to drive him wild!

When it comes to sex and for*play, men think differently and so do women. What may work for the goose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that is thrilling, memorable and completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secret fantasies!

Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.

Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up to something. His kiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for it brings on an exhilarating primal ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 329  |  
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Kelly and I's Seven Minutes of Heaven

At the time of writing, the second story with Kelly, “Kelly and I Hit the Showers” STILL hasn’t been uploaded, so I’ll just go ahead with this third part and hope that the second one goes through the modding process before this one. If it doesn’t, part 2 will most likely be on my blog here since that goes up instantly. So this is part 3, the last part with this character for now. I’ll start taking requests now, read my blog on that! As usual, if you’re just here for the sex, use CTRL+F or scroll down to find this:

SEX STARTS HERE:

PLEASE comment! :)

Busy chatter filled the night air.... Continue»
Posted by soniclemon 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 329  |  
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Awkward Sexy Time Pt. 2

After I had broken up with my girlfriend, I was left to wander the world of women. I had met a cute woman who was in my work group at school. We immediately started getting along. We had a similar sense of humor and similar relationship pasts. Both of which allowed us to make a powerful connection. Soon enough we were hanging out outside of class; I took her fishing, she helped me pick out my dog. We were inseparable.
We did hit one snag though: neither of us wanted a new relationship. We were both in our "cool down" mode after our break ups and decided to just fuck each other as much as we ... Continue»
Posted by wrkUSA 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 329  |  
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I Lost My Sister And Wife To My Old Friend




Hi, this is Anand 32 year’s old married man. I am married and my wife Archana is 28 and she is a housewife. She is a beautiful lady. Where ever she goes, the guys around wont take the eyes away from her. I am very lucky to have her. Her size is 36-28-40. She has a nice and firm breast and round bubbly ass which swings while she walks and many persons around the street waits to watch the moment of her ass while she walks for the nearby market. She always wear Sari... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 332  |  
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