Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 100

Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second stab at humor in sex

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same d***ken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"

"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."

"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.

"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.

"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 274  |  
100%
  |  1

a foxtail in como

so... a friend & i wrote this for another friend's b-day. she wrote the clean stuff & i wrote the smut & yes, a date w/Costner is like that.

A Foxtail in Como

or...

George Clooney is the biggest dick in hollywood, and he proved it in Taylor's ass.

by Mrs. Face
and
roxxanna valencya

It was a glorious spring day in lake country. The light breeze cast ripples over the bright blue water making it sparkle in the sunlight. Taylor and “Giorgio” (as the locals called him) were enjoying an afternoon bike ride through the village of Bellagio after spending a lazy morning at Clooney... Continue»
Posted by roxxanna 4 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 274  |  
100%
  |  1

The Booty Inspector of the Old West (pt. 3)

The Booty Inspector pt. 3 by markfayer

“Freaky Felatio Foursome”


Dick and his intrepid Lieutenant, junior, had no sooner arrived at the Barnaby’s Circus Fairgrounds when they spied the performers’ ring of campers set about in a cozy circle, creating a small common open space for the freaks and Acrobats and other members of the Freak Parade.
“Alright, Dick, what’s our plan of Attack?” quipped Junior.
“Well…I figgur we just waltz into the Boxler b*o’s trailer, give them an offer they caint refuse—by which I mean they get to fornicate with our Nubian Amazons-in-tow in a no... Continue»
Posted by markfayer 3 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 273  |  
100%

omegle

You: kool so u two r wet?? hahaha jk;)
Stranger: yes
Stranger: and horny
Stranger: chsahahha
You: haha really?
Stranger: yep
You: u guys wanna blow me??
Stranger: yep
Stranger: come here
Stranger: you won'y reagret it
You: comes to u
Stranger: ok we ll waitn to u darlig <3
Stranger: 69
You: ok
Stranger: oooh
You: what kinda panties u got on
Stranger: white small panties
You: mmmmmm
Stranger: and no bra
You: mmmm u got big tits\
Stranger: yeees
You: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: like texas !!!!
You: mmm
Stranger: what u wanna do with them ?:>
You: play with them
Stranger: ... Continue»
Posted by bluenative 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 272  |  
20%

The Italian Job 17

The Italian Job 17
A few days later Ellie came to see me at my apartment, this was truly a royal visit as she had never been before and I got the feeling that she was checking to see if I had got anyone entrenched that she might see as a threat to her private domain, she wandered around, looking at all of my stuff, “Maria came to see me” she commented whilst browsing my books,
I made no comment, I reckoned if she wanted to tell me she would “wanted to know if she could have her job back” she said, now I was curious but determined to hold out so still no comment “how do you feel about that?”... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 271  |  
87%

this is important about sex

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less.... Continue»
Posted by slogan20 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 270  |  
73%

Don't Drink Alcohol

The art of making love is supposedly one of the most beautiful and enjoyable acts someone can perform. It gives incredible pleasure and is a wonderful feeling of closeness between two people. We've all seen the movies that set the standard for how we should behave. You all know the scene: the man gently eases his partner down while looking at her fondly. He then confidently and calmly guides her through the processes. He is a confident lover, someone whom she can really lose herself to. It's almost picture perfect, with the small beads of sweat, mood lighting and music. Yes, you would almost b... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 270  |  
80%
  |  1

21

REASONS WHY YOU MUST GET TOGETHER WITH A HORSE RIDERS
1) We have four speeds and can be many different positions ...
2) We have on our tight pants
3) We like getting dirty
4) We know how to ride really
5) We always do our best in the drawing
6) We love having control
7) We can ride for hours
8) We know how to deal with big things
9) We are going off and on easily
10) We are always ready
11) We like it hard
12) We have leg and back muscles that help us manage all the different positions
13) We love using whips
14) legs apart is our natural position
15) We do... Continue»
Posted by betty6love6 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 270  |  
100%
  |  1

Women Like To Cuddle After Sex

If you want a repeat performance from your lady friend, it might be a good idea to tap into your sensitive side and step your cuddle game up. Psychologist Susan Hughes said:

“Females placed an overall great importance than did males on all five items measured: intimate talking, kissing, cuddling and caressing, professing their love for their partner and talking about the relationship after sex. In contrast, men placed more importance on gaining extrinsic rewards after sex.”

And these extrinsic rewards include cigarettes, booze, etc.

So what is to be gained from this study (that survey... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 269  |  
60%
  |  1

BigBimbo's Memoire's #3 - Musings about

In 2003 I was freshly out of school, temporarily unemployed, in a depressing and unhealthy long-distance on-off relationship of the sort that young people who don't know what they want often find themselves in and, further, was newly and angrily "off". I went to a bar with some friends to blow off some steam and got a few drinks down the hatch in short order. There was a new girl working as a table waitress and, while nothing special to look at, she was curvy, showing a lot of strong-looking leg and had a cute smile. We flirted a bit every time I placed an order and I eventually asked what she... Continue»
Posted by bigbimbo 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 269  |  
70%

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true slut gave to me
A virgin so very horny

On the second day, she gave me two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

Now on the third day of Christmas, that ol' bitch, she brought home three French whores
Two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

Now on the fourth day of Christmas, four calling girls
Three French whores
Two pecker rubs
And a virgin so very horny

On the fifth day of Christmas she brought me home somethin' special
She brought me home somethin' special
Five herpie seeds
Four calling girls
Three French whores
Two peck... Continue»
Posted by snakeman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 268  |  
100%
  |  9

Pay Back

So that, dear friends, is why the President and I both hope that you will support him as he tries to pass the all important spending cap legislation now before the House, thank you for your time, good night." Jennifer Boyle, the wife of the president, made her way through the clapping throng on her way to the rear exit of the grand ball room in the Century Towers Hotel. A limo with a phalanx of Secret Service agents were waiting to e****t her back to the White House, while she and her body agent, Jimmy Knox and his assistant Bill Dooley all climbed onto the service elevator for the twenty f... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 268  |  
100%
  |  3

Favorite Fantasies #3



The scene is a one-room schoolhouse, somewhere out West.
The teacher is about my age, thirty-five, or even older. But she is
a virgin, a frustrated old maid. She has kept one of the pupils
after school, a strong, six-foot-tall boy who isn’t too bright. She
goes through a stern lecture with him about how he’s not been
paying attention during class, etc. She asks him two or three
tough questions, and when he can’t answer says she’s going to
have to punish him. She tells him to take down his pants; he’s
embarrassed but ... Continue»
Posted by hard_for_yu 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 266  |  
64%
  |  1

The Past of the Great Takuri and his Gift

January 30. 2012
This is my first Journal entry. Why do people write a journal? Probably because they’re lonely. But I, the great Takuri, or at least that’s what I’m calling myself these days, am never lonely. No I’m writing this journal so that other people can see, can read what great things I’ve done and where I’ve erred. It feels like I’m writing the truth. As a magician I spent my whole life living in illusions, bending the truth both to the audience but also to my humble self, now it feels like I can finally tell the whole story, you can’t go to somebody who you are manipulating and tel... Continue»
Posted by shanina 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 266  |  
89%
  |  4

Sex up your love surprises

Such situations are definitely not uncommon. Many people who are in long-term relationships do encounter this phase. So why don't you plan some exotic surprises for your partner? Such that he's taken off guard and left asking for more.

Surprises need not necessarily be really pricey. What matters the most is your attitude, the way you show your concern and express your love towards your mate. Here are some innovative ideas...

Dare bare...
Men love it when their ladylove makes an extra effort to seduce their senses. All you need to do is to think out of the box!

Sangeeta Ahlawat, a HR... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 265

sexy story



We start out at this beautiful italian restaurant called Angelinas... small place with a relaxing atmosphere. Perfect for two... siping wine at a candle lit diner we barely eat due to the scintillating conversation.... I ask if ur ready to continue the night to which u agree and we stroll down to the car and make our way back. 

 The ride is a little awkward at first due to the fact we both have an idea whats to come... so I crack a lame joke to break the tension and entertaining conversation resumes.. 

  We pull up to the house and I ask if ud like company for the night.. please  u s... Continue»
Posted by iamkenny 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore  |  Views: 265  |  
100%

Smurfette's Absolution part1

Not my Story...credit to unknown author
Chapter1

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else

Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters

The annoying pounding onmyfront door just as morning came around was enough to wake me from myslumber, I heardBabySmurf cry from the rude awakening. I scrambled out of bedand rushed to the front door, a bit steamed from the banging. When I openedit, I saw a smurf staring at me with lovestruck eyes, he heldupsome flowers that appear to be freshlypicked.

"Hi Smurfette," he said in a lovely tone, "Can we goout on a... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 264  |  
100%

Accidentally in Paradise

by Cristiano Caffieri

Well away from the casinos and bright lights of Nevada’s urban centers you’ll find the Bald Oasis Hospital. It would be a strange place for a hospital, if it really was a hospital, but it’s more of a place where people go for sexual therapy – even just sex. It’s far off the beaten track, partly for legal reasons, and few people ever pass by accidentally, they are normally responding to advertisements on the internet.

For avid biker Brian Fielding nowhere was out of the way. He’d crossed the Andes, the Sahara Desert and the Russian Tundra on his bike and so a trip th... Continue»
Posted by ShitJustGotReal4U 2 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 293  |  
100%

Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 263  |  
93%

You Know Your Fetishes Have Gone Too Far When...

1. You have a lawnmower repair company on speed dial.

2. Double #1 if they offer 24 hour emergency service.

3. There is a sudden drop in the local sheep population and you can't seem to explain all the bl**dy wool in the house.

4. You go to the local dog park to get dates. And maybe meet some people, too.

5. Oil trucks make weekly deliveries to your home, even though you have gas heat.

6. Hardware store clerks know better than to ask "What sort of project is this for?"

7. You browse through small appliances looking for "inspiration."

8. You have a lifetime ban from dog sho... Continue»
Posted by JerseyWBull 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 263  |  
96%
  |  9