Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 80

Nice surprise from a date site...

About 18 months ago, I met a lady in her mid 40's through a date site. She had been married for 20 years, was bored as hell with the relationship but, like a lot of people, did not want to rock the boat at home. So she looked for fun outside....

The chat between us before meeting was a bit unusual - she wanted to know how I would seduce her and make love to her etc etc. Usually this is fairly erotic, but there was something 'different' about this lady. We agreed to meet up and she came and stayed with me for the evening and night.

She was a BBW lady, who I will just call Tina. She told ... Continue»
Posted by jasper61 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 932  |  
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An unexpected erotic high heel moment.

The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.

I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 668  |  
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Christmas Holly

It was early Christmas morning; actually it was 1:30am, when Holly awoke and heard and rustle, she couldn`t place where it was coming from. Suddenly she spotted a figure emerge from around the bedroom door. She knew it wasn’t Luke as he had his firm cock nestled along the crack of her bum cheeks; Holly could tell Luke was dreaming of one of the video`s they had watched on xhamster last night.

Suddenly the figure approached the edge of the bed and you Holly saw that it was Flasher974 Santa; he was dressed in a full Father Christmas outfit with hat, beard, coat and red trousers and black sh... Continue»
Posted by flasher974 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 659  |  
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Life ..

I sit here naked at my laptop typing away telling this narrative. It is a bit of history as I know it.

I have been contacted by a young guy that wants to be with an older male and this is not unusual, I have had the pleasure of many young men in the past few years, the youngest being eighteen years of age, or so I was told. I understand now he was a bit younger and I don't know his name or anything so it is irrelevant but good.

I have done all the right things, had a shave and a shower, douched out my arse so there are no nasties around, put a bit of smelly stuff on and lubed up... Continue»
Posted by AussieJonno 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 363  |  
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Super Soaker ~~~~~


It was 1992. I will never forget, it was a mild summer day and unusual blue sky in Washington State. I was 14 at the time. Just got done playing a backyard football game with the neighborhood military k**s like myself, and like after every game we headed to our houses for drinks and snacks. As I sat on my porch a friend of mine came upon me with his Super Soaker (a recreational water gun that was popular in the 90s) manually pressurizing it or pumping it for the air pressure needed for the range and f***e of the next jet stream of water. Well as he did this he was imitating jacking... Continue»
Posted by Gibsonaire 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 983  |  
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fiat uno dick bite

once it was my first sex with my x girl
i took her in my garage we were very d***k .
we kissed but so quickly i took off her bras , started eating that white mellon with that nipple playing in it as if its a radio tuner hardly . then she took off my shirt started to kiss all my body specially my neck . i took off her purple dress , she had an under pants it was winter December my car the fiat uno wasnt that big , but we realized it bigger , i brought my seat back towards the couch after taking her pants off also her purple heels i started sucking her toes she had a smelly salty feet with ... Continue»
Posted by karini 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 162  |  
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Sex with My Girlfriend

It had been 1.5 years since i have been flirting with my crush(My girlfriend).I didnt have any deep feeling of love for her,rather i just wanted to get laid with her for once.She was an orthodox sort of girl from a middle class f****y.Her structure was so hot and good that i cummed on her pics atleast once in a day.
At last that day came.It was saturday in december.I used to go to my college in my car.That day because of some reason the college didnt function and all students were told to go back to there houses.She was chatting with her friends and i called her in her phone to come to my car... Continue»
Posted by raalaut 9 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Hardcore  |  Views: 3091  |  
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Army Boot Camp - BBW STYLE! [Re-post!]

Army Boot Camp - BBW STYLE!
Chapter 1


Back when I was in the army, I spent a few years as a boot camp instructor. It was always an interesting experience watching a group of completely disorganized, scared, and naive group of strangers turn into a cohesive, trained platoon of soldiers.

Cohesion and teamwork are key, and as a drill sergeant, I always emphasized that they would only get through the course together. If they chose to argue, bicker and work against each other, they wouldn't make it through, plain and simple.

Like I said, it was always an interesting experience. It was a... Continue»
Posted by blackwacker2 9 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1839  |  
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Disgraceful soft sex with my cousin

This is not exaggeration, this is based on my story of 2009. I feel
ashamed, cause she my cousin s****r. I shouldn't have done this to
her. I am from South Tamil Nadu.
It was in my semester vacation of my first year, and she was studying
Ninth Std. It all started from this point, in the night before my
s****r's marriage, she looked as if an angel. She is a medium
complexion, but...but really beautiful mean it. She was wearing silk
blow and the bottom (pattu pavadai). I was instructed to look after
the k**s who were playing on the Marriage's hall terrace. I saw my
cousin s****r playing... Continue»
Posted by spoiled_boy 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3623  |  
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My Big Fat Farty Friend

A BBW friend of mine, in her own words...


Hi, my name is Danni, I'm 26 and I guess you'd call me a British BBW. Basically I'm fat lol. Anyway, as well as being lardy I'm also windy. Or as you would say gassy. Basically, on account of IBS, I fart like a thoroughbred racehorse lol!

And over the years I've come to know that men just love it when I do!

It all started when I was 19. I've always been blessed with a big round arse and my boyfriend at the time just loved it (not the first, won't be the last!) He was really into facesitting too. Let's call him Craig. One day, I was straddlin... Continue»
Posted by gwensational 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1859  |  
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The Glamorous Granny

1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .

During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
him.

Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
say.

So there we we... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 1 month ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3728  |  
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Fuck me as a whore, as a slut…

The story took place two years ago.

My wife and I decided to go on
vacation. The winter was only
beginning. We chose the place which
is situated 40 miles from our town
and set off. We booked a luxurious
room and ordered a massage. The
resort was 30 per cent filled, mostly
by old ladies.
In the evenings they organized a
disco party and Agy insisted on
looking at it. When we arrived we
could see only old men and women.
It was boring indeed. My wife started
talking to a woman and I said I’d
better watch TV in the room and left.
Agy is a pretty woman. She was 27
at that moment b... Continue»
Posted by amateurmasturbation 19 days ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2401  |  
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Good & Bad Fucking Lessons From Porn Movies

In addition to its ability to cheer you up in times of need, porn has some useful lessons to impart to its viewers. On the other hand, some of these are hideous faux pas that every man should avoid like the plague -- or gonorrhea, for that matter. Then there are the great lessons porn has to offer us all.

Pornography is generally a healthy staple of any man’s life, but beware: Not all porn is helpful to your sex life. Watching porn with your girlfriend can be a great way to learn about each other and have a laugh. Although you'll probably learn most lessons on your own, if you're lucky, yo... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 687  |  
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My Best Friend (continued)

Pete and I hardly spoke on the long walk to the cabin other than to remark on the occasional wildlife we saw on the way. Both of us were lost in thought about what we had done that morning, and maybe thinking of what was to come. I can't speak for Pete, but I was getting aroused thinking about it.

We finally made the cabin, stowed our gear, and talked about what to do next. "Let's go skinny dippin'", Pete said with a grin. "That was a long walk and it's hot." I agreed, and as we walked toward the swimmin hole said, "I need to pee first.&... Continue»
Posted by joebobwahr 4 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1619  |  
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The Accident - Short Story

Cindy Rose, 27, a separated insurance broker without c***dren, is disillusioned by her heterosexual relationships. She tried many a spiritual path to learn to accept her personal male energies and to get aware of her feminine beauty. She knows by now, that lust isn't bound to a single gender and that love can be found only by accident! She wrote to me:

It was a stressy day at the office and everybody just picked on me. Somehow frustrated I slam the door and lock the car. A short glimpse into the letter box reveales: only junk mail again! »One day I would gain enough courage to murder that ... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 452  |  
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Asian Cum Slut

The night I met Mei in a London club, she was dressed the way you see in
Japanese anime. I told her, and she got all offended since she was Chinese,
and anyway she could not understand what I meant, or so she claimed.

She had on high heeled boots, knee high socks the kind you'll see matched
with schoolgirl uniforms, a chequered plaid skirt that barely covered her
ass, and a white shirt that could barely contain her immense 38E bust.
She looked obscene - breasts that size on a chink, especially one not more
than 5'1 or 5'2 that couldn't be a day over 18 just accentuated the
anime-girl... Continue»
Posted by pornofiend 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 605  |  
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My Irish Bonus

I stared at an empty computer screen. It was hard to get back to work after a wild weekend like that. That was the wildest time I'd had since my ultra horny college days.

Back then they had just super charged my balls. My doctor discovered my scrotum needed to be untwisted. After that it was like having a second puberty. I thought I had a big erection before then. Plus I would soon discover an extra bonus.

My first girl friend in college didn't have much going for her in the face department. In fact she may have been the ugliest girl on campus. But "Irish" ma... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1044  |  
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Timestop Day 4

Day 4 – Saturday

The sound of the front door slamming woke Warren up. He looked over at his alarm clock. It was 6:43 A.M. – on a Saturday. Why was he awake? His mom never came home this early after her nights out.

Warren jerked his head towards his door as he heard the sound of the toilet from the bathroom he shares with his s****r flushing.

Then the night before suddenly rushed back into his mind, and what he had set up between Joe and his s****r. The sound of the door slamming must have been Joe leaving, not his mother getting home. He smiled as he thought about the night before, an... Continue»
Posted by themessenger 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1487  |  
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The Alleyway

This particular night came about when a good (a newly discovered lesbian) friend of mine invited me to join her to a "ladies night" at a local gay club. Being an overwhelmingly heterosexual male, I jumped at the idea of attending. All the while thinking, "Maybe there will be some cracking hot chicks who'd want to take turns. etc." My mind ran wild in the day leading up the party. I couldnt contain my excitement, frequently letting my friend know what I was going to do to the "babes" in the club.

The night arrived. I'd groomed myself, gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror, put on the f... Continue»
Posted by sirpsychosexy2011 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 803  |  
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Watching the Wife Fuck Another Guy

As I hid in the closet of my own bedroom, I couldn’t believe I was about to go through with this. Sure it was my idea to have my wife fucks another man while I watched, in fact; I was the one who talked her into it. And it hadn’t been easy. Ria is a beautiful 40 year old woman that men lust after, but she’d always been faithful to me throughout our relationship. When I first suggested that she screw another man, she was outraged, even going as far as to threaten separation. But I was persistent, and I eventually wore her down. Now here we were, actually about to go through wi... Continue»
Posted by trumptight85 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1596  |  
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