Sex Humor Porn Stories
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REASONS WHY YOU MUST GET TOGETHER WITH A HORSE RIDERS
1) We have four speeds and can be many different positions ...
2) We have on our tight pants
3) We like getting dirty
4) We know how to ride really
5) We always do our best in the drawing
6) We love having control
7) We can ride for hours
8) We know how to deal with big things
9) We are going off and on easily
10) We are always ready
11) We like it hard
12) We have leg and back muscles that help us manage all the different positions
13) We love using whips
14) legs apart is our natural position
15) We do... Continue»
Posted by betty6love6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A very merry Xmas........... thanks to a MILF call

Okay, if you read my story 'Something on account', you'll know that I had a big surprise waiting for me at the office Xmas party in 1978 when I was 17. Completely unexpectedly, I had received the best blow job I had had to date - and it was from Joan, the company accountant AND three times my age!

Well, you will also know that I mentioned that there was another mature lady at that party. Lisa.

In the UK, there is an old saying... "As fit as a butchers dog". What that means is that the butcher always had the choice of the best cuts of meat for his own f****y, and the scraps made their wa... Continue»
Posted by jasper61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Stitching Frankengirl Together: a Halloween Treat

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It combines candy, monsters, horror movies, ancient pagan rituals, booze, partying all night, fake bl**d, and hot girls in sexy costumes. On top of everything else, Halloween, a night given over to fun, fantasy, and revelry, is by far the sexiest holiday of them all (shove off Valentine's Day).

I always use October as a chance to revisit my favorite monster movies, the glorious black and white classics like Dracula, The Wolfman, The Mummy, and my favorites, Frankenstein and the even better Bride of Frankenstein. Now, Doctor Frankenstein had a bright idea, ... Continue»
Posted by Regrets 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Revenge is sweet

A f****y sitting around the dinner table and the son asks if he can ask a question.
The father responds.
Of course,the only question!
The young man asks his dad:
Dad,how many different kinds of breasts are there?
Father,surprised,answers
Well,son,there are three kinds of breasts.
The 20-year-old woman has breasts are like melons, round & firm.
Around 30-40 years of age are like pears still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty,they are like onions.
Onions?
Yes, when you see them and they make you cry.
This outlay was both mother and daughter to see red,so the daughter sa... Continue»
Posted by betty6love6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 16

The Italian Job 16
Italian weddings are very special things with lots of singing and dancing and eating and drinking, I know English weddings are meant to be the same but they do not seem to have the flair of the Mediterranean countries and especially a village wedding where everyone knows everyone including all their relatives both dead and alive, so when Sonia’s daughter decided to get married to one of the village lads the village started to make preparations in a big way, the bunting came out as well as the balloons and the flags and of course the preparations for a street party, mention ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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A Car Wash

(They get hot while car gets sudsy)

Stepping out of the car at the Shell Station, Mark looked at the dark skies and impending storm. He felt the cool breeze and knew the front was just passing over. He unscrewed his gas cap and turned to see just what this tank of gas will cost. He slid his credit card into the slot and quickly removed it. Grabbing the nozzle for regular, he let his mind wander as he slipped the nozzle into the opening for the gas. He pictured Jackie, leaned over the rear fender of the car as he slipped his nozzle in.

Mark had known Jackie for a long time, since high sch... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 18

The Italian Job 18
I have re-submitted this one after some confusion, so if it crops up again, just ignore it, this one may be a bit of a tear jerker so ladies have your hankies ready.

Several weeks past and all was relatively quiet but I was troubled, something was bugging me and I could not make up my mind, I said nothing to Ellie but finally succumbed and went to Genoa, I knew the address and parked outside, I sat in the car for an hour trying to get up the courage to go and knock on the door, finally I went to the door, I knocked and a tall elegant middle aged Italian woman answered th... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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A Reluctant Nudist Ch. 01

(Young wife learns to show herself off)

From my now, rather more knowledgeable experience of life, I've discovered that it's not too unusual to find that the full erotic significance of a particular incident or situation that occurred some time in the past, was not always fully appreciated or even realised at the time in which that specific episode happened. However, on a few occasions when we sit back to recollect and further analyse some of those memories, usually at a time and place a lot further down the track, the true erotic content and latent value of that moment can sometimes resurf... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Tale of Forbidden Love

(A passionate f****y relationship)

My name is Shannon, and I work for an affluent college just outside of Chicago. I recently turned 30 years old, and have been single for the majority of my life. Admittedly, it's been an easy way to go for me and my finances since my parents were well off ever since I can remember. In fact, their large, charitable donations to the college landed me the job five years ago. I didn't see the point in working since money was never an issue for us, but now I clearly enjoy having a Monday through Friday job in the bursar's office on campus.

I've never lasted ... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Journey Pt. 01

(Tim wants to see his wife with other men)

Chapter 1

Tim and Janice Harwick met while in college. He was a business major and she was working on her undergraduate degree in law. They dated throughout college and fell madly in love. They decided to get married after Tim graduated, and Janice would continue her study for a law degree.

The wedding was held in Tim's hometown. It was a large traditional wedding with over five hundred guests crammed into the small church. The newlyweds ran from the church to a chorus of cheers and rice; they were off to make a home and live the American dre... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Hindsight

(Mary Ellen is seduced into Anal sex by her loving neighbors)

Chapter 1

Mary Ellen Jakowski sat in her kitchen with her good friend Dana Carter having their usual morning coffee. The two women had been friends since the Carters moved into the neighborhood five years ago. Their husbands, Richard and Drew, had become buddies as well. They were "backyard" friends, as their privacy fences were connected. In fact, they rarely went to one another's house through the front door. It was a one-block walk around the neighborhood to get to the front door.

The two women normally shared a lively m... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Truth or Treat

(Two couples find the fun really starts after the party)

Andrea Donovan was not too thrilled with her husband Seth at the moment. He had accepted the invitation to Jared Devlin’s Halloween party without even asking her. Part of the reason was probably because he knew that she didn’t like Jared all that much and that if he’d asked first she would have said no, or at least argued about it for a while. In fact, it seemed that they were doing a little too much arguing and too little lovemaking. Both in their early thirties and in their eighth year of marriage, their lives had settled down into ... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Lisa Tries a Strip Club

(Couple meets hot slut at strip club)

We'd had a long lunch with plenty to drink before Lisa dropped me at the front door, and headed off toward the bar a mile down the road. I'd told her to give me half an hour before she came back, and to wait in the parking lot. "Drive carefully" I said to her as I closed the door and entered the dimly lit strip club.

I stepped inside and waited a second, letting my eyes adjust from the brilliant Canadian sunshine to the dark interior of the strip club. It was two-thirty in the afternoon and predictably the place was virtually empty, with maybe twenty... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Winter Vacation

(Young couple help their best friend out of depression)

Cathy and Paul had been married for almost five years. They met in college, dated for two years and were married even before they finished school. The first year was tight but when they finally graduated they were both fortunate to land jobs quickly. This helped them to buy a house and move on to living life.

Paul’s friends harassed him about getting married so soon but Cathy is very beautiful and knew he couldn’t let her slip away.

Cathy is 5’5” 126 lbs. and has full firm breasts with nipples that will stick out almost an inch w... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Rock Chick

(A night to remember with Lydia the rock chick)

Dante's was such a good club. Isn't it funny that it always seems to be the really good places that close down? Well, it's still there I suppose. It's got a different name now and you wouldn't recognise it at all. New owners, new decor, different music, different clubbers. Higher prices. But I'll always remember it as the rock club where I met her that night. The night she showed me the time of my life. Lydia. Sex goddess. Rock chick.

I'd been living in Sheffield for two months, training with a multinational company that had a local office ... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Muddin

Kent held his book in one hand and sc****d dirt off the side of his sneaker with a stick he held in the other. Deciding to read his assigned chapter on a bench in front of the English building on the nicest day of the year was a big mistake, Kent thought. Waaaaaaaaaaay too easy to get distracted out here.

A deep purr caught Kent’s ear and grew louder as an old pick-up truck rounded the corner and slid into one of the student parking spaces. Dried mud was splattered across the entire truck like it was a mobile Jackson Pollack canvas. Kent trained his eye on the vehicle as the driver’s door ... Continue»
Posted by coedwrestle 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Late night suprise

It was 3 O'clock in the morning when i was woken up by my boyfriend Alex kissing my neck 'whats this for?' i asked slightly breathless, my pussy already hot, i loved it when he kissed my neck. 'I woke up, couldn't sl**p and...' he kissed me again and i felt his erection press againt me, unhindered by clothing 'I'm hard' he said.


He pulled my nightgown over my head so that i was naked just like him. he began to kiss downmy body, sucking at nipples taking them deep into his mouth, then carrying on down, he reached my pulls and licked my lips he parted them with his fingers and found my w
... Continue»
Posted by adam2010 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 21

The Italian Job 21
I awoke the following morning alone, I jumped in the shower and went for breakfast, they were all there, Ellie, Sonia, Yvonne, Christina and Maria who was looking decidedly more cheerful, Hazel was fussing around and I was reminded that I had not done her of late,
I decided I should rectify that as well as checking something that was bugging me, I arranged to meet her in the camera room “checking up on all your ladies?” she said as we got into the room and closed the door, “lock it” I said to her “I want to see the pool camera shortly before Ellie was attacked yesterday” ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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How to Eat Pussy and have fun

How to Eat Pussy and have fun
Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And
I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not
doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's
found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even
tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most... Continue»
Posted by DBRAC 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Italian Job 22

The Italian job 22
Croatia asked me to go back and fine tune a few things then they would pay me at the end of that visit, they had already paid me some money which actually covered all my expenses for the job but I had no objection and it would be good to renew old acquaintances,

I told Ellie “can I come with you?” she said “if it is only a short trip I would love to see Croatia, I have never been, they tell me the thousand Islands area is beautiful” she said “the Istra peninsular is just at the top end of the thousand Islands” I explained “so when I am done in Umag we can make our way d... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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